| I
am the Warlord Krang, wrongfully exiled from my homeworld for crimes
that I did not commit, despite what the evidence and two million
witnesses might say! I was framed! Since my unlawful and unjust exile to
Dimension X, I have been attempting to prove my innocence so that I may
rejoin my people and serve them as a proper Warlord would... by beating
them into submission and forcing them to pledge allegiance to me! Bwah
hah hah hah!!!
Through
some curse of the Fates I met Saki, who you probably know as the
Shredder. He is a ninny, and an incompetent buffoon... but he serves a
purpose at times (although exactly what that purpose may be eludes me at
the moment). I have taken a liking to your world, and so have decided
that I must conquer it, to do you all a favor. I will replace your
silly, petty and unintelligent governments with myself as world-wide
monarch. All the planet will bask in my great intellect and handsome
appearance! I will outlaw your obnoxious televisions and replace them
with my holographic vid screens, where you will be able to take orders
from me 24 hours a day. You will be priveleged to fetch me all of your
wealth and natural resources, and for this, I will reward you by
allowing you to, once per year, eat a slice of my delicious Quarg Rat
pie! Oh, how you will rejoice! I can hardly wait to rule your world! As
a people, you are quite grotesque and hideous, but you are able bodied,
and so you are good for physical work (although your minds are
infinitesimally feeble). Trust me, you need me to become your leader! I
know what's good for you! And remember, with me in power, you won't have
to pay ANY taxes whatsoever! Now if I could just crush those
infernal Turtles so that I could breech the dimensional warp once and
for all...
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