| Welcome to the Page of Smiling Happy Goodness! |
| Sometimes in this world of tardism it's easy to get caught up in the negative. To prove that there is as much Ninja happiness as there is Ninja anger, we give you the Page of Smiling Happy Goodness. These are things we like. 1. That Starbucks commercial featuring the Survivor song, "Eye of the Tiger." As beings who are largely anti-advertising, it's worth noting when a product of corporate greed actually makes us smile. For some reason, whenever this commercial runs we find ourselves bubbling over with a fit of the giggles. The concept is basically that whenever someone opens up a can of Starbucks One Shot, the band Survivor appears and plays a modified version of "Eye of the Tiger." Why is this so funny? Who knows. Click here to download it yourself (must also have Quicktime)! 2. Flat Eric Yes, he's already an honorary Ninja, but we just can't get over how completely cool this guy is. Seriously, he's the shit. Somehow he's always happy, always up for a party, always full of bright and interesting comments and never afraid to stand on his head or get funky. What a great guy! 3. Alcohol 4. Erratic Dancing There's nothing better than seeing someone who can't dance for shit get up and bust a move, and in most cases men have this market cornered. People understand that men can't dance the way they understand that the male body is just unattractive and silly looking, so there's nothing better than a dude who not only accepts this, but has the balls to call attention to it. 5. Erratic Naked Dancing See above. 6. Dogs Dogs are probably the most wonderful animal on the planet. I know they're mostly in it for the food, but hey, at least they're dependable. 7. Leisure Suits When did the world decide that leisure suits were no longer cool? I mean, they're pretty much the definition of cool: functional, comfortable, sleek, and pretty much guaranteed to make you instantly more desireable. Look at those guys--how could you not throw yourself at their feet and beg for a taste of leisure-ific glory?! (Note: How much greater is erratic dancing when it's done in the company of a bomb ass leisure suit? And erratic naked dancing? I mean, nudity doesn't get any better than when it comes post-leisure suit). 8. Potatoes What a great food. Fried, baked, dressed all up to hell with cheese and chives and butter. Man, potatoes rule. 9. Long legged girls in mini-skirts and high boots. Seriously, is there anything better? 10. Movie Popcorn 11. Fake Mustaches This one time NMR was in a bar and found this fake mustache stuck to the side of the Golden Tee machine. She put it on, and then all of a sudden it was like POW! she could speak Italian and be all cool, and so she did. 12. TV: A Quick Rundown Most TV is shit, but there are some shows that will always be brilliant: Family Guy*, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Sex and the City, and Freaks & Geeks in the reruns category, South Park and Curb Your Enthusiasm in the currently-producing-new-episodes category. Watch and laugh, people, watch and laugh... *soon, it would seem, Family Guy will have to move into the currently-producing category: thank the gods of Ninja Monkism, a renaissance of brilliant funniness! 13. Wasabi This is the only reason to eat sushi: covering it in wasabi-laced soy sauce. Today I went to grab my usual salad-with-creamy-balsamic-dressing lunch at the Food Emporium and they had this tray of sushi samples so I grabbed one and poured some of the soy sauce over it and it was so thick with wasabi that I nearly passed out. Once my eyes cleared and I could breathe again, I was just like "YES! Wasabi RULES!" and decided that it needed to be included on the page of goods because, Christ, it is the shit. 14. Phooning Man, I never knew...well, so many things: I never knew this pose had a name, I never knew people cared enough about it to make a whole damned page, I never knew so many people worldwide were aware of the page and its brilliances...man I am just one clueless duck! Anyways, the phoons are so cool they're going on the links page (obviously) and the page of happy goodness because, really, is there a happier stance than a full out phoon? 15. Archure I can't express in words what Archure means to me; I think the best thing to do is experience his glorious site for yourself--and I have to insist that everyone really take the time to go through each and every nook and cranny because SERIOUSLY, there is gold here people. GOOOOOOLD! Man, you guys don't EVEN understand. Archure is the new Messiah. Archure will be bigger than Oasis. You just wait and see. |
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