| The Truth Comes Out: Monkeys Kick Turtle Ass |
| Many have wondered, some have asked: what is the relationship of the Ninja Monkeys to the Ninja Turtles? The answer, oh curious ones, is: there is no relationship. Ninja Monkeys have no desire to interact with freak-of-nature turtles who say "dude" and "cowabunga" and defile the work of art that is a pizza with bullshit toppings like peanut butter and M&M's. Clearly, Ninja Turtles are geared at a demographic largely comprised of those still in diapers, and, to put it plainly, the Ninja Monkeys ain't down. Unfortunately for the Ninja Turtles, the Ninja Monkeys have taken great offense to their bastardization of the following: 1. The English language (surfer speak is annoying and full of made up words--and not cool, Monkey-like made up words, just stupid ones). 2. Pizza (see above) 3. Ninja Style (this hasn't been gone into yet at length, suffice it to say (briefly) that no Ninja with any sense of bad-assedness would live with a giant rat in a sewer. Get some fly digs, you tools). 4. The Ninja Way (these guy are total sell outs. Come on, a cartoon? Action figures? Pez dispensers? They should be called "Teenage Mutant Capitalist Turtles.") And so, because they were offensive, they had to be shut down. And they were. Part one: Ambush! Yogi Monkey flies from above to pound Donatello with her mic stand of doom! Ninja Monkey Wave gets the jump on Raphael Pixy Ninja Monkey captures Michaelangelo's nunchucks The Dark Monkey surprises Leonardo with a knife to the chest! Part two: The Battle Rages Q and Donatello face off Ninja Monkey Blue shuts Donatello down Cheeky Monkey takes a joint off Raphael's finger (p.s. when have turtles ever had fingers?) "Ha ha!" says Ninja Monkey Red, "My sword is obviously bigger than yours." Pixy Ninja Monkey and Ninja Monkey Code team up to show those turtle losers who's boss Ninja Monkey Sunshine takes on Raphael Ninja Monkey Han makes Michaelangelo cry like a little bitch Pjosley gets revenge for all those poor, mal-topped pizzas Aye Aye takes an ayeful out of Splinter as the turtles stand helplessly by Bush Baby triumphs over two turtles at once! Finale: Who is the winner? The one who gets the girl... And the monkeys *definitely* got her Ninja Monkeys Rule ALL! |
| : The Battle : |
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