The Flying Dog Litter...

It began simply enough. I was browsing the beer shelves in the brand-new Kroger, astounded that a grocery store would have such an enormous selection of brews. Part of the criteria for selecting what I drink next is the artwork on the cartons and labels.

It was April, I think, when this crazy artwork caught my eye. I snapped up a sixer of the bottle at left: Snake Dog IPA. Since I still had a free hand, I grabbed a sixer of the bottle at right: Doggie Style Pale Ale. Both are decent brews. I can't call them "the best IPA" or "the best pale ale" I've ever had, but they're not the worst, either. At the time, the label was more important.

Drinking them was the easiest part of this trip to the pound. Getting the labels off the bottles was all right. I napped while scanning the artwork. The bitch was getting the artwork digitally ready for transfer. Some artwork is easy. This was not. It's a good thing I enjoy that sort of mindless stuff.

And then it came time to CARVE these mutts. I tried to keep track of the time spent carving each one, but drinking and carving and counting don't mix. Not in my brain, anyway. Snake Dog was first to be finished. Thankfully that one wasn't too bad. Not a terrible amount of detail. It was ready to plant months before the rest of the litter. Old Scratch Amber Lager (above, left) was a booger, both to carve and drink. Hey, I like ales. I sliced through Doggie Style in about six hours, I think.

Tire Bite Golden Ale (right) was by far the nastiest one of all. It took a LONG-ass time to clean up the artwork and hours upon hours to carve it. Double digits. Talk about the tail wagging the dog. I actually STOPPED carving that pain-in-my-ass stamp and switched to Road Dog Scottish Porter (left). A piece of cake, that one. And a damn tasty brew, to boot. Grrr.

But there came a time when I had consumed all the Flying Dog brews Kroger carried. I actually found the Road Dog at Publix, on the room-temp shelf, right next Bridgeport IPA and one of my top FIVE brews: Rogue Dead Guy Ale. The two bottle shops I frequent didn't have anything different, either. So, one day I was screwing around at the Flying Dog website (click the Cut the Leash graphic, below) and found desktop wallpaper. I snapped up this guy (right) here: K-9 Cruiser Altitude Ale, a seasonal brew only available in late fall through winter.

It was another piece of cake as far as cleaning and carving goes. K-9 Cruiser marks the first untasted 99 Bottles stamp I've carved. Oh, yeah... I finally finished that son-of-a-bitch Tire Bite. Good thing it was the only one of the litter to garner one of these: . It deserves it. (The rest WILL get them... as soon as more become available... they had BETTER...)

"Walking the Dogs" - the Flying Dog Trek

So it's come to this... hiding mystery boxes so the nefarious do-gooders and hooligans can't even begin to think of where I might have hidden these boxes. No encryptions. No hidden links. Just good, old-fashioned Word-Of-Mouth clues. You want 'em... you have to ask the guard dogs. If they don't like your looks or your scent, you best start runnin'. Cause these mutts ain't been trained to do nuthin' except bite your ass!