kicking him out because she is trying to convert his room into a much-needed storage room for fertilizer and kitty litter.
Unbeknownst to her, she will be sending her adorable 31-year old child out to a life filled with oppression, corruption,
devastation, condemnation, and tubal ligation. Once an innocent free-loader, Ronnie will now sacrifice his Playboy magazine
subscription and beer diet to things really not worth living such as laundry detergent, toilet paper, mouth wash, and deodorant.
We, at Absurd Dreams Foundation, would like to help Ronnie have his dream come true. Since he could barely afford
replacing his Swiss-cheesed underwear made with "once elastic" waistband, we are asking your help in granting Ronnie his last
wish before he heads to the vile and disgusting world we now know as "Rent." If you can somehow find it in your heart to
sell Ronnie a pair or even just one stinkin' ticket to the 49ers vs Jets game on Sept. 6th at face value, it will really help
him
Another case we have at the Absurd Dreams Foundation involves a boy named Boo. He is suffering from a rare disease
called Cowraidium. The sufferer loses its manual dexterity whenever watching the Dallas Cowboys, and gets involved
in drive-by shootings whenever watching the "soon will be" Los Angeles Raiders. But who really cares about Boo at this
moment. Let's focus on the problem at hand. Right now, our main goal is to help Ronnie. Please be generous and bless your
kind soul. Contact Ron Clemente at x65324 if you can help.
Absurd Dreams Foundation would like to thank you from the bottom of their cholesterol-filled heart. No donation will be
turned down. We guarantee it!
