| Ryan on Alice @ 97.3 San Francisco, CA November 10, 2003 |
| Who�s who: Ryan Sarah (DJ) NoName (DJ) Matty (producer) Hooman (assistant) Kathy (traffic) Callers Sarah: Alright, the tension is in the air. NoName: Hey� S: The mystery guest is outside the door. N: Yeah, we gotta move the, uh, Looking Glass stuff so people can�t look in and see. S: Oh my God, that�s right. N: Cheaters! S: Alice at 97.3, Sarah and NoName, Alice�s morning show. We have a big mystery guest coming in� N: Huge. S: �in just a second here. Matty: Huge. N: Huge. S: Uh, this person� well I really can�t say anything about them. N: Ya know, I�ll just say this. This person is a culture shaper. Alright? Period. S: Don�t give, stop, don�t give any more than that. N: Ok. That�s, that�s the only hint I�ll give. S: I know, but don�t, no more hints, because this person� N: A shaper of culture. Hooman: Can I say something? S: What?! H: A lot of handlers. S: Yeah, I noticed that. H: A lot of handlers. S: Noticed quite a lot of people. N: I will say this� H: Talented handlers. N: And I will say this that, uh� H: Very talented. N: That Sarah thought there was a camera following this mystery guest into our studio. S: Yeah. M: They�re hot. N: Are his handlers hot? Like super hot Matt? M: Yeah yeah, actually. N: Can they come in? M: Um, no. I don�t let anybody in. S: How long do we have with the mystery guest? M: Well, right now we�re eating into the time because you�re doing� S: What do we got? Like half an hour? M: �a little rappity rap thing. S: Alright fine, let�s get the traffic, let�s roll. Kathy: Ok. S: Let�s get to the mystery guest. 800-400-FM97 Yes or no questions, if you get a yes answer you get to ask another, the person who correctly guesses who the mystery guest is is gonna get This Is Alice Music Volume 7� N: Sure. S: �the Flames 7�� N: Limited edition people. S: That�s right, and 700 Alice Everyday Rewards points. N: Crazy. S: That�s very exciting. I�m excited. I�m always excited when it�s a mystery guest because� N: Cuz it�s a mystery. S: �you don�t know, right! You don�t know how long it�s gonna take to guess this person. This is a really really good mystery guest. N: I agree. S: Alright, traffic is brought to us by The San Francisco Opera. Go ahead Kathy. (traffic report) S: Thank you Kathy. Alright, the mystery guest is seated in the studio, this person has been advised yes or no answers only. N: Sure. S: I�m sure gender will be obvious once this person says their first word. N: We hope so. S: Sarah, go ahead, you�re our first person on. Caller Sarah: I just wanna guess who it is� Is it Richard Simmons? Ryan: No. Caller Sarah: No ok. S: (laughing) Good guess though. N: Wow. S: (laughing) What?! Ya know why� cuz you said �image shaper.� N: Nah I said CULTURE shaper. S: Oh that�s right. N: This person�s a culture shaper. M: And you said I like him. S: Oh that�s right, we said that Matty likes him. Uh Carrie, go ahead. Caller Carrie: Um, are you a musician? R: (deep breath) No. S: Diana, go ahead. Caller Diana: Do you have brown hair? R: Sssss� not really, sometimes. N: (laughing) S: Yes or no please. Does she get another� M: Yeah. N: Give her another question. S: Ok sure, go ahead, another question Diana. Caller Diana: Are you an actor? R: No. S: Karen, go ahead. Caller Karen: Is your first name Bob? R: (laughing) No. S: Morgan, go ahead. Caller Morgan: Do you have any children? R: No. S: Terry. Caller Terry: Are you under 40 years old? R: Yes. Caller Terry: Are you� oh my gosh� I wasn�t ready for another question! Um� um� are you from California? R: Yes. Caller Terry: Oh my gosh� um� are you, um� N: Hey you�ve really narrowed it down, under 40 and from California. (everyone laughing) S: So far, so good Terry! Come on baby! Caller Terry: Um, are you from local California? R: No. S: Mmm, Brian, go ahead. Caller Brian: Yeah, are you in a band? R: Nope. S: That would follow the �not a musician� question. (laughing) Diane, go ahead. Caller Diane: Are you in radio? R: Yes. Caller Diane: Are you Ron Owens? R: No. (everyone laughing) S: Larry, go ahead. Caller Larry: Are you a politician? R: Nope. S: Bob, go ahead. Caller Bob: Um, is your, um, your first name have three letters in it? R: No. S: Irene, go ahead. Caller Irene: Um, are you Dr. Drew? R: No. S: (laughing) Susan, go ahead. Caller Susan: Are your handlers hot girls? R: Yes. Caller Susan: Are you Hugh Hefner? R: (low gravelly voice) No. (everyone laughing) S: Caviar, you�re on the air. Caller Caviar: Uh, is this Mel Gibson? R: Nope. S: (laughing) Sarah, go ahead. Caller Sarah: Um, is it Ryan Seacrest? S: It is Ryan Seacrest! (everyone cheering and clapping) R: Yeeeeesssss! S: Wow Sarah, how did you know? Caller Sarah: Cuz I used to live in LA and I used to listen to him all the time. S: It�s the voice, isn�t it? Caller Sarah: Yeah. R: Well THANK GOD because this game is KILLING ME not being able to say anything but yes or no. N: Ryan�s like, �Wow, this was the easiest interview ever.� Yes, no. R: Yes, no, yes. N: Hey thanks for coming Ryan, it was great. R: Yeah, good to see you guys. S: Sarah, hold the line, congratulations. R: Thank you Sarah. What�s going on? S: Welcome. You�re SO small! I expected you to be� He walks in� R: (laughing) Ya know, that�s� S: �he�s like this wirey little bundle of energy. R: �that�s something you don�t want to hear from a woman when the sun is down. N: Yeah. R: It�s ok when the sun�s up� S: It is up, the sun is up. R: Ya know what I mean, cuz I�m ok with being tiny, being small, being� can men be petite? I don�t think so, but we can be small. N: You�re petite, dude. S: I just thought that you were gonna be taller, I guess because you�re, you�re around like the, the young kids all the time. R: Well yeah, yeah, except if you look at me next to Ruben Studdard from American Idol, then you realize that I am just a figurine. I�m like a Weeble Wobble, ya know, compared to him. S: You�re like a Ken doll. R: Yes, I�m about that size. But um� I�ve been working out and running, so I�m soon to get bigger. S: Is that true? N: He�s working on it Sarah. R: I�m soon� and I�m hoping every morning I�m gonna get a little bigger. S: Now you�re wearing, what have you got on there? A pair of looks like the vintage jeans� R: Ah yes. S: Those are very nice. Those are the hip new jeans. N: Sure. R: These are the paper denim jeans. S: Right, and a black jacket with a ton, that�s a very 80s looking jacket Ryan. R: Is it? S: I gotta say. R: Ya know I was trying to bring it back. S: All kinds of zippers� R: Somebody guessed I was Michael Jackson and I thought to myself, �Well this is something out of his closet.� Well I bought this on Union, can�t remember the name of the store, yesterday, so I figure, I�m one of those guys, as soon as I buy something, I wear it. It doesn�t hang in the closet. S: Yeah, sure. N: That thing has elbow pads. R: It does, I�m bringing them back. N: That�s huge. Ya know, for people who don�t know, Ryan, uh, down in LA he�s kinda known for his vanity. I remember, like, my parents live down in Orange County� R: Yeah� N: I saw like a big billboard with you and it�s pointing out how white your teeth are� R: Well ya know what happened was I started just talking about things that were real, God forbid, ya know, in my life� N: Sure. R: �and the truth was I actually enjoyed going shopping for a new pair of shoes, and it�s like taboo for a guy do that. S: He�s the original metrosexual. N: Metrosexual. R: Yeah. N: You really are. R: I, I wanna own that. Wait a minute, that�s me. S: I think you are. R: I think it�s fine. I think it�s good. What guy, by the way, if you�re really being honest, doesn�t every guy have a mirror? And doesn�t every guy glance in the mirror before he leaves to make sure that he at least� S: NoName? R: NoName, do, come on dude. N: Look at me. S: Look at him. N: (laughing) I started, I turned 30 and I started combing my hair. R: See! N: Like seriously, this is my hairstyle. R: And you have me to thank for that. N: True. R: Right? N: You led the way. S: Ultimately. N: You burnt a path for us to embrace hair products and combs and such. R: But that, ya know that billboard, it was funny because it was like a headshot and it couldn�t look, my God, just how cheesy are headshots in general? And they�re all like airbrushed and everything. So the teeth looked way too white, the skin was way too tan, and the hair was just too perfect, so I started drawing lines� N: Sure. R: �it was like �Hair highlighted, teeth whitened, eyebrows waxed, skin tanned,� and then the bottom I wrote, �As real as LA gets,� which is pretty much true. N: Sure. S: That�s a very nice tag line. R: And so that became the campaign. N: Nice. And ya know a lot of people don�t realize that you used to actually DJ here in the Bay Area. R: Yeah. N: I remember listening to you like back when I started, I think it was like Hot 97.7 or Star, I can�t remember what it was. R: It was Star. I was doing afternoon drive at Star for a little bit. I lived in Sausalito� S: Did you? R: I couldn�t find a place in the city! It was really tough and I was on a waiting list and I was sending flowers, I was doing everything I could. S: What year were you trying to find an apartment here? R: This was nineteen ninety� sssss� was it sssss� let�s see�. God, 7? 1997-ish. S: Oh my god, that�s so weird, that�s when I moved here and it was like you had to bring the beautiful basket with all the� R: Yeah, but see I had no money. S: �I mean you�d show up for open houses for apartments and there�d be like 50 other couples there. R: And I think of us as qualified renters. I�m thinking to myself, �Hey� S: �I�m gainfully employed.� N: �I�ve got a job.� R: �I have a Michael Jackson jacket.� S: Sure! R: �My hair�s combed. What�s wrong?� N: �My breath is fresh.� R: So I moved over�(laughing)�I moved over on the other side of� S: Where in Sausalito? Ya know I lived in Sausalito in �97. R: Did you? Come on. S: This is so weird. R: Really? S: Like how were we having the same thing going on? R: First of all, how could we live, I don�t know how I afforded to live there. It was a tiny box that I rented. S: Yeah, and I was paying $1600 a month for a very tiny little� where did you live in Sausalito? R: Right across from the Mexican restaurant, Juan�s, it used to be a Mexican restaurant, I don�t think it�s there anymore, it�s, I think it�s a sushi place now. S: Hmmm� R: But uh, Chart House, you know where that is? S: Sure. R: Right, literally right next door. S: Oh right over there. R: But the thing was I was single, I knew no one, I knew no one. N: Sure. S: Sausalito is not the place to live� R: And you can�t get ANYONE to drive over the bridge. S: Yeah. R: No one will come across. I�m like �Please come, come, come over.� N: Yeah yeah, come visit us. S: It�s just RIGHT over. R: Yeah it�s right� it�s a zip. C�mon, I�ll drop you off in the morning. S: Take the ferry, it�ll be perfect. R: Never happens. S: Wow� so then when did you move to LA? R: I moved to Los Angeles� ya know I actually lived in Los Angeles and I moved up here to take that job. And corporate consolidation and take over took over the radio station where I was working and they bought the one that I was originally at in Los Angeles and moved me back down. S: I see. R: So I ended up back down there. S: Now how did you hook up with this Brian Dunkleman person and how did you survive� N: And where is he now? S: Yeah, where is that guy? That�s like the burning question on every American Idol fan�s mind. R: (laughing) Everybody wants to know, �Where�s Dunkleman?� Um� S: And who is he? Like how did he get that gig? Did you know him before hand? R: (making his voice crack) That�s a lot of questions Sarah. (deep breath) Let�s see, let�s start with um� S: Start at the beginning. R: Alright, at the beginning, I didn�t know him before. We met, uh, at the network audition. We had to audition for American Idol, believe it or not. S: Yeah, and how did you� I mean did you think this show was not gonna work? I�ll just do it for the money? What was your� R: Pretty much just do it for the money. S: Right. N: (laughing) R: And um, I had, ya know, it was one of those things� I had been working in television and radio both for a while and I really wanted to do something obviously in prime time tv, so this seemed like it was right up my alley. It was music, it was live, it was performance, it sounded fun. Didn�t know too much about the show. I had seen the UK episodes, but I didn�t think obviously it would be such a� S: �huge� R: �just a huge water cooler show. And, anyway, so we went in and we auditioned for the show and we both hosted it because there were two guys that hosted it in the UK� S: So they were modeling it after that. R: �and Fox wanted to do it just like that. N: Sure. R: And it just, you never needed two, he and I both said, �Why are both of us here?� N: (laughing) R: Ya know, it�s like, �You start with the subject and I end with the predicate.� It�s like pointless to have both of us. N: Sure, you guys draw straws to decide who gets to stay? R: It�s like, (using two different voices) �Welcome� �back� �this� �is� �American� �Idol.� It just, it didn�t make any sense. But he�s an actor/comedian so he wanted to go pursue that anyway, so that�s what he�s doing. I actually haven�t spoken with him in a while. N: (laughing) S: Yeah, I wonder why. R: I could lie and say, (funny voice) �We�re still friends and keep in touch.� N: He�s probably, �God damn you Seacrest!� R: He pretty much wants to kill me. S: Now what did they do? They met with you guys after the show and they just said, �Listen we�re keeping Ryan and we�re dumping Brian�? R: I wasn�t, we weren�t together when they had this meeting, I wasn�t there. N: (laughing) Fist fights broke out. R: I was just happy to sign on for the next year. S: Did you find out, like someone called you up and just said, �They�ve dumped Dunkleman and�� R: Yeah, yeah, pretty� S: ��and you got the gig.� R: Yeah, they called, yeah, pretty much they extended my deal and um� N: He got the shaft, he got the boot. R: �and they said that� S: Dude you got some SERIOUS cake for that too. R: I got lucky. S: I heard the rumors swirling around. R: Yeah. S: You SO pulled it on that, and now, don�t you do afternoons down south? R: I do afternoon drive every day. S: And then you like stop, put your stuff down, head over to the studio� R: I go do the tv show. S: �go do the tv show, takes you like an hour? R: Ya know what, it takes like a hour, hour and a half depending on if we�re doing one of those extended versions of American Idol where I tease the whole hour. �Hey coming up, something and it only takes two minutes but I�m gonna make you sit through the entire god-dang hour.� N: Sure, sure. S: You�re very good at that. R: Yeah I am. �We�ll be back� after the break.� S: (sound effect) R: So I�ve been doing radio for 10 years every day, and I just love doing it. I mean it�s so much fun to be able to sort of shut the door and have a little autonomy and ya know just� what you guys were doing earlier, that game, I�m thinking to myself, �It�s very simple and it�s great and I gotta do that on my show.� S: Which one, Guess the Celebrity? R: Guess the Celebrity. It�s great, it�s a lot of fun. S: Yeah, and Dead or Alive too, I don�t know if you heard that one. R: I heard that, well cuz I heard the little, the uh clip� N: Bon Jovi R: �from Bon Jovi� S: (singing) Dead or alive. R: �and I thought to myself� S: (plays clip of Bon Jovi singing �dead or alive�) R: ��Oh don�t tell me that�� Of course I was rolling out of bed and I thought, �They�re gonna play that song, I�m gonna sing right now in the shower, it is on.� N: Yeah. R: Cuz on a steel horse I ride, ya know? S: (laughing) N: Yeah, you�re getting warmed up. Wow. R: (sarcastically) So as you can tell, it�s difficult for me to talk. S: Yeah those are, I was actually� R: Thank god we don�t play any music huh? S: Yeah, I know! R: Otherwise I wouldn�t get this all out. S: Do you play music? R: I do play music. S: I was gonna say� R: But I uh, ya know, I understand it�s nice� S: Is it like a CHR? What�s the� R: It�s kinda like this. [Angela�s note: Star and Alice play the EXACT same songs] S: Oh it is? R: It�s, it�s, we call ours a pop alternative radio station. S: Ahhh� R: I don�t know what you call this. S: Hot modern� R: Modern AC? S: �AC, something like that. R: By the way, which means modern adult contemporary, right? S: Right, exactly. Now um, how long do we have Ryan for cuz I definitely, we play celebrity Operation with everybody. N: I, before the Operation, I, cuz ya know American Idol�s a huge show, how do you feel about the controversy over this year�s winners, Ruben and Clay? A lot of, I mean I�m calling this a racist thing as far as how ya know Clay�s being promoted so heavily even though he didn�t win. It�s very kinda ya know George Bush, like he was close enough so he�s getting all the love. S: And I�m saying the fans of Clay are absolutely fervent and� N: But this is the thing, in media I�ve never seen a more blatantly racist kind of pushed thing where the guy who won isn�t getting any love. S: By like 10 votes! N: Whatever, I�m saying the fact� R: (laughing) We don�t even know how many votes. N: �this is what I�m saying, the fact that Ruben is a black man is the reason he�s getting no love. Clay is on the cover of Rolling Stone first, his cd comes out first� S: I think there�s a story� N: �he�s getting all the love� S: �there�s a story about Clay, Clay does not swear, he doesn�t drink� R: (sarcastically) NoName, you really need to take a stand. I think it�s important that you take a stand. N: I�m telling you, I�m saying, how do you feel about being a part of this? Cuz a lot of, seriously, the word on the streets, and that�s the thing, no white people talk about it, but when I walk down the streets of San Francisco, they go, �NoName, right on bro! Way to make it a point. Way to stand up for the black man.� R: How do they even know it�s you? I just have a quick question. S: They don�t. N: Cuz I�m know in the neighborhood. S: He�s so making that up. N: Don�t skirt the question. How does it feel to be a part of that? R: Alright let�s put a pin in that, go back to the fact that, I gotta find out how come you don�t use this to get reservations at restaurants by ya know using your name� N: I just show up. R: Um well I don�t think of it that way first of all. N: Really? R: Let me tell you how I think of it. N: How do you explain it? R: I�ll tell you something, (other djs laughing) for the last couple of weeks� (yelling at someone) Scoot over dude! (more laughing) Jesus! I�m tiny �member? (more laughing) The way look at it was, ya know the last few weeks of that show, both Clay and Ruben were back and forth, one was ahead by just a couple of votes then it was the other, and so we knew that it was incredibly tight leading up to that final episode. What happened with Clay was pretty amazing. Clay actually got kicked off the show� S: Yes. R: � came back as a wild card contestant, and went through this transformation, and the guy REALLY started owning performing, I mean he stepped up in a big way. Ruben was always very good, but I think Clay�s personality evolved and really started to shine. S: He�s got such a weird background. N: But who won the show?! That�s my point, that�s the thing that bothers me. R: Well who won the show? Ruben won the show. N: He gets no love, that�s what bothers me. R: But Ruben�s been working on a album with a lot of other people that�s taken longer than Clay�s album, so if you look at the producing of the records aspect of this, Ruben�s record has taken a lot longer to actually put together, they�ve had to work with more people and schedule more things. N: Sure, sure. R: Clay just did that solo album ya know and put it out, and his album was like the #2� N: It�s crazy. R: �selling release by a soloist ever, so I don�t really look at it as racist. S: Do you play Clay Aiken? N: That�s the other thing dude I want to ask you, I mean with your radio background it�s like how do you, how can you justify bringing more bad music into the world? S: Yes! R: I have to tell you, I enjoy bad music. (other djs laugh) I�m serious, I actually love cheesy bad music. I mean I woke up to Michael Damien �Rock On� this morning. S: There�s nothing wrong with that, that is back in vogue. R: But that�s bad. That is so bad. N: (singing) Rock on� S: (singing) Oh my soul� R: But I�m guilty of cruising around with my window down listening to cheesy music, so it doesn�t really bother, I don�t, ya know, it doesn�t bother me. N: You rock out to the Clay Aiken cd? That�s what I want to know. R: Totally! N: Damn! S: Come on you do NOT rock out to the Clay Aiken cd. R: No I�m serious, I�m serious, what else do I� N: I tried, I tried to, it�s impossible. S: No you didn�t even try. You took one listen and went, �This� America�s racist! I hate this!� R: (laughing) N: Nah I think American Idol, I think, and ya know, not that it�s a new phenomenon in media, but I�ve never seen something so blatantly where like the guy who wins ya know, who IS the American Idol gets no love� S: Star Search. N: �gets no love though, no love. R: Yeah but you also have to realize that I mean, I think Sarah was kind of hinting at this earlier, the people, the public really dictate what we�re doing, so there was a huge, uh, a huge storm of excitement for Clay�s release and they said, �Alright fine, let�s get that thing out there.� Coupled with the fact that they had to take longer to produce Ruben�s album. N: The only reason why I brought it up is just I want to hear it from the source. Obviously you�re involved with the American Idol people� R: I don�t look at it as racist. N: So you�re saying there�s no intentional� R: No there�s no intentional� of course not. N: �kind of racist grand wizard plan. R: Actually I don�t think there�s a grand wizard plan in ANYTHING we do at American Idol Productions. It just sort of happens. I mean I�ve showed up at that show before and they�re like, �Are we doing an hour or two hours tonight? What�s going on?� N: (lauging) R: �Seacrest just fill, fill some time here.� N: Nice. R: � Alright let�s go to the audience.� Ya know� S: Yeah the audience stuff� R: Well ya gotta fill time. What are ya gonna do? S: You have to fill time, it�s true Ryan. R: I actually like, I just, I love the fact that it�s live and you can ya know, sometimes I say the cheesiest, dumbest things and laugh at myself at the end of the show, I�m like, �Did I just� oh no.� S: He laughs, he goes to the cashier�s booth, picks up his check� R: (laughing) S: �laughs all the way to the bank. �I�m so dumb!� N: Paycheck! Woohoo! R: (laughing) Oh God. S: It�s like, �I�ll stretch out these interviews a little longer.� N: Nah it�s huge man. S: Hey, Ryan has a� what is it Hooman? H: Hey Ryan, do you and S� R: By the way, we met at the Grammys, we were hanging at the Grammys. S: Oh you remember Hooman? Or did he remind you? R: But he, uh, I went to� How do I say it? Hooman? Yeah, that�s what I� H: But he totally skirted me. He kept going, �Ya know what, I�m gonna come back for an interview, I�m gonna come back for an interview,� and you never did. S: I remember you saying that, yeah. R: Did I not do it? H: No you didn�t do it. R: Oh I didn�t do it? H: But you had more handlers and� R: Do you know what the problem was? I�m one of these radio geeks, I�m broadcasting from all these things backstage with a hundred radio stations, and he came up and a couple people came up and said, �Can you do an interview?� and I�m like, �I can but I�m on the air.� N: (laughing) You�re like, �I�m interviewing�� Yeah. R: I gotta do MY show. I�m trying to get like someone like John Mayer or someone to do my show, and they�re going, �Dude talk to me� and I�m like, �No I gotta go chase Coldplay, I�ll be right back.� S: Oh it�s so hard being such a huge star Ryan! N: (laughing) R: It�s not� it�s not that� trust me. S: In demand! H: Ryan, don�t let them bust your balls man. R: You�re killin me over here� Cumin. H: Listen, hey do you� R: Cumin, what? H: �do you, Simon, Paula, and Randy all hang out outside the show? R: Yeah. S: Let me answer that: No f-ing way. R: Yeah. Yeah. H: Are you guys genuinely friends? S: No! R: No no no, I�m gonna tell you the story. H: I wanna hear it. S: Alright let�s hear the story. R: Alright the story goes Randy, Simon, Seacrest� I just called myself Seacrest� see that�s one of those dumb things you do� M: LA! (laughing) R: �when I listen to the air check� um, so we actually have dinner, during the series we have dinner at a place called Ago every week where we just, we make, ya know, we talk about our personal lives, talk about the show, we talk about the� we just gossip like a bunch of chicks. Um, Paula sometimes can handle the chat but sometimes it gets a little too adult for Paula�s ears, so she doesn�t hang ya know as long. But we do, we�ve actually become friends. Uh Cowell and I ended up with a group of people in uh� Barbados, we went down there and took some friends for a week� S: Of course you did. R: It was so much fun. S: Mmm I�ll bet. R: Yeah, but we didn�t stay in the same room Sarah so stop looking at me like that. N: (laughing) S: I�m not, I�m not looking at you like anything. YOU�RE the one making the assumptions. N: Dirt, dirt. R: What are you talking about? S: I think you�re metrosexual. R: By the way, you have great hair. What? S: Ok here we go� N: (laughing) S: On The Air�. On Air with Ryan Seacrest? Is that it? Did someone just make fun of my hair? R: No I just said you have great hair. S: Oh thank you. R: Right over her head. N: Yeah. M: Nice forehead too. R: I know I just, you�re focusing on the plug, I know, go on. On Air� S: I�ve been trying to, I�ve been trying to plug your show. R: We�re getting to the good stuff. S: Alright, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, is it live? R: It�s live. S: It is?! R: It�s live 5 days a week, 1 hour. It�s, ya know what it is, it�s a uh, it�s a few different formats every day in the afternoon, airs at 5 o�clock here. S: How can it be live then? R: It�s gonna be interesting isn�t it? There may be some� S: You�re taping it earlier then� N: Sarah, the magic of radio, hello? S: Oh you�re pretaping your show. You�re gonna pretape your afternoon� you�re gonna sell out your radio listeners for your damn tv show. R: No, I may actually be stepping into a bigger role in radio. S: Oh is that so? R: Yeah. N: Ohhhhh, yeah, I heard about this. He�s the official Rick D guy or something. Some kind of big radio thing. R: So we don�t know exactly what that�s gonna be but� S: Really? R: �we�re doing the television show, ok, live to the EAST� S: Oh, got it. R: �so I CAN be in both places at once. S: I see. R: Airs at 5 o�clock UPN 44, cable 12. It is a combination of entertainment news magazine, so I�ll have correspondents. This is like the graduating class of TRL comes to this show. N: Nice. R: That�s what we�re, and instead of JUST music, it�s music, movies, tv, it�s all of it. We�ll have reporters all over the country filing reports live, uh studio guests, live music performances. We�re building this complex, all glass, at Hollywood & Highland. S: You�re gonna be the Mary Hart of your new show. This is gonna be like� R: (laughing) The Mary Hart� why do I have to be a girl? S: Entertainment Tonight. R: Can�t just I be a guy on my own show? S: Be Bob Goen, fine, whatever. R: No I don�t want to be that guy. S: I�m just saying� she a bigger star. R: Well it�s not QUITE Entertainment Tonight, it�s a little, I think it�s gonna be a little less perfect� S: Cooler. It�s gonna be cooler. R: I call it a little less perfect than ET. N: Nice. S: Real polished. R: You will get the uh the information, the substance and the content that ET would deliver, but this is definitely I think more of an honest approach, and it is live so� S: What would you be wearing? R: Crap like this. S: Really? R: Yeah, things that you�ll like, you won�t like, ya know, t-shirts, tennis shoes� S: Sure, nice, kinda like on American Idol I was always like, �How does he get away with wearing�� R: Well ya know what, that was a huge deal. That was a really big deal. S: It�s great that you were able to sorta just wear what you wore to work that day. R: Well they didn�t� yeah they didn�t love that at first, they were like� S: Too bad for them. R: Ya know you get notes from the network. S: Hey you�re the personality. R: Yeah right. S: �Hey man, I�m a personality.� R: What�s, what am I gonna do? Why is there� S: You�re gonna play uh, this is Celebrity Operation, this is the second board we�ve filled, I think Woody Harelson and Flea started this board off. R: Yeah. N: It�s almost done. S: Who else is on that one? It is almost done. N: I have no idea. S: A whole bunch of people on there. N: A bunch of scribbles. I can�t even read them. S: Yeah you can�t read them. Somewhere we have the whole list. R: How does this work for radio? S: Uh you put it underneath your microphone� R: Yeah. S: And if you can�t pull your bit, the board� N: That�s the difference� M: Don�t worry about the radio show. S: Forget the radio show. N: That�s the difference between Northern California and Southern California. Up here it�s like, �Uhhhh whatever.� S: We don�t care. They�ll figure it out. R: And we�ve never asked! S: We don�t know. R: And now we�re taking a still shot. S: You�re doing the Adam�s apple cuz you�re a talker. R: Alright good. M: (laughing) R: Alright, by the way, this is, what I�m doing is I�m sticking my tweezers into the center. S: Ah you don�t have to describe it. People know how to play Operation. (BUZZ) N: AAAHHH!!! Jesus! R: Can I go back for more? N: Yeah yeah. R: Well there�s no way I can get that. S: Yes you can. R: (making a noise like he�s trying) (BUZZ) N: AAHH!!! S: Squeeze the tweezers together. R: Well but� there�s a stem! S: He hasn�t played since he was, you have to squeeze the tweezers together, they�re too fat. N: I like that. �There�s no way I can do this.� It�s like dude, 8 year old kids do this. R: Got it. S: He did it! He did it! M: Yaaayyy! (clapping) H: Hey Ryan, can I ask Ryan one quick question? R: Yeah. S: This is for Ryan. R: Hooman. H: Is it true that you�re dating Tiffani Amber Theisen? S: Oh my God, is that true?! R: Nah it�s not true. H: Is it true that you guys were hanging out yesterday walking around? R: That�s true. S: What are you guys like best friends or what? What�s the deal? R: Yeah we�re pretty much best friends. She uh� S: I just got a wink, he�s TOTALLY dating her. N: (laughing) S: He�s lucky, she is really hot. I�d date her. R: No, can I tell you the truth? S: Ok. R: She and I have been� Can I tell you the truth? S: You can. R: Like you�re going to say, �No don�t tell us the truth, make it up.� S: No I don�t want to hear the truth. Let�s hear something interesting. R: Um she is uh, been friends of mine, we�ve been friends forever, for a long time actually. For like, I don�t know, 5 years or so. S: Since she was on Saved By The Bell? R: So� actually after Kelly Kapowski. It was a� post Kelly Kapowski. S: When she was Valerie? R: It was more the Valerie days we met and became friends, yeah. S: I see. N: Nice. R: So that�s pretty much it. But there�s no dating. H: Wait wait, Ryan are you gonna go visit other radio stations now? R: I have to go to the one where I used to work. N: Nice. H: We want you to call us after you do that. S: Who is that? Is that Don Bleu? Who is that? R: It�s Don, it�s Don Bleu. S: Yeah you have to call us after that and just tell us how we measure up to the legend. N: (laughing) S: You need to check in with us throughout the broadcast. H: Promise us that you�re gonna do that because that�s what all the celebrities do. S: It�s what all our celebrity guests do. R: All of them do that? H: Yeah yeah. S: They call us after each interview. R: Ok. And does Don like that? He gets� he doesn�t know. H: Sure! S: Just don�t tell him, he has no idea. N: That guy�s on cruise control, c�mon man. R: Oh really? Alright. N: He�s all about the check. R: Well ya know I used to work there, so� he�s all about the check. N: It�s like, �Hmm whatever.� R: Cuz you guys do it for the love. S: That�s right! We just love coming in here. R: You just wanna give back. S: I just want to wake up early, pleeeaaase. R: I know. You just want to get up at what, 4? S: Yeah. R: 4 o�clock. S: I wish they would just let us start the show at 4. R: As a matter of fact it�s a shame you even take money for this gig. S: I know. R: Isn�t it? S: Well that�s why we give it all to charity Ryan. R: You just wanna give back. S: That�s true. R: You know what�s great about you guys? You are truly givers. N: We�re for the community. R: I know. S: Can�t you feel it? R: I do. S: Can�t you feel it coming off of us? R: Ya know if any radio station has the giving back love, it�s Alice at 97.3. S: Thank you Ryan Seacrest! (applause) N: Wow! H: Ryan, you promise? You promise you�re gonna call? N: Dude, this is the million dollar question. R: Yeah. N: What excuse on earth possibly did you have for missing Jim Pratt�s bachelor party? R: Oh you know Jim Pratt? N: Oh yeah. R: Jim Pratt works with me by the way at the radio station in Southern California, Los Angeles to the listeners here in the Bay Area. N: That, that should explain a lot. S: One of NoName�s best friends. N: (laughing) S: You guys have a lot of common friends. R: It should explain a TON. N: (laughing) R: I heard, what was it? Didn�t you guys go and Carson Daly was with you and the bus broke down and he called for a helicopter? N: Yeah, there was� R: Yeah that�s practical. N: Yeah. S: It worked out though. R: Did he� N: How could you, what were you doing? I just need the question answered. R: Well you guys drank for how many hours straight? N: Uh I lost count. R: Right. N: I don�t have that many fingers. R: I unfortunately had to balance a couple of jobs and if I cocktail I can�t do ANY of them. S: Is that so? R: Yeah I can�t cocktail for two days straight. You guys drank for two days straight, I know� N: Yeah it was crazy. R: �I saw pictures of this thing. N: I was the gorilla. R: (laughing) You were the gorilla?! (laughing) N: (laughing) R: I didn�t see that one, but� I�m playing along. S: (laughing) R: You were the gorilla?! (fake laugh) (whispering into the mic) Don�t know that one. S: You know who Ryan reminds me of? He� M: John Peak. S: Is John Peak here? M: It�s John Peak. S: John Peak. R: I don�t know who John Peak is. S: To the T. The way he talks� M: Ryan, look behind you, the Hardy Boy picture right there. S: Yep there�s John. That�s from the 80�s. N: That�s old school though. R: He has way too much hair though. S: Yeah that�s old school. R: His hair is higher than mine. S: But you guys should meet just because you� N: They�re� it�s a doppelganger. S: They�d be like little yin and yang. So crazy! R: What�s John Peak do? S: He�s our PD. N: Our PD. R: Oh that�s your program director? S: Yeah. N: He�s great. R: How old is he? He looks 15. S: He� that�s when he was 15 actually. I don�t know, what is he, 40? N: Not even. H: He�s 37. S: Is he really? N: Ageless. R: Wow. M: He�s ageless. S: Yeah, he is ageless. And he is so metrosexual and then some. R: Oh he is? S: Yeah. Um� H: Hey Ryan, you gonna call, yes or no? R: See he�s, Hummus over here, Hummus or Cumis, whatever the hell� Cumin� N: (laughing) Hummus. R: Hooman, uh, yeah I�ll call you guys, I gotta get the number. S: Yeah we�ll give you the hotline. R: I�ll call you guys. I�ll have Tiffani call you. S: We need you to check throughout the� not Tiffani call us! N: (laughing) S: Ryan Seacrest call us. Alright, so it�s called On Air with Ryan Seacrest, it debuts in January. R: January 12th, live 5 days a week, UPN 44, cable 12, 5 o�clock. N: Huge. S: Very nice. There�ll be a courtyard just outside the studio where live music acts perform� R: Do you know what we�re building is like the Times Square for LA, it�s all� S: That�s what it sounded like, yeah, like the glass� R: I know I know, you want me to stop. She�s gotta go to break. S: I don�t actually. R: It�s 7:32, 32 past the hour. S: I don�t have to break, I�m just gonna get traffic, we�re gonna keep going. R: You don�t? When do you have to, you don�t have to� N: Never. R: This is the greatest show ever. Like on my show I got a bunch of crap I gotta get to and I�m always getting cut off by it. S: Nah we figured it out. N: Nah. S: Nope, not us. R: That�s great. We can have 42 minute talk segments, fantastic. I gotta� It�s this John Peck guy, what�s his name? S: John Peak. N: John Peak. R: John Peak. M: No it�s not. N: It�s his genius. S: Matty�s the guy. R: Oh it�s you guys. N: It�s the genius of Matty. R: Oh I see. S: Our producer. R: Just lock the door and go, �Let�s get some traffic.� H: Nobody gave him credit for it either. Nobody gave him credit. R: Hooman, are we ready for some traffic or what are you doing? H: No no no, I just want to say� S: Ryan, really what is, what is your deal this morning? Can you stay? R: I can stay for a couple more minutes. S: Oh can you really? R: I have to leave in like 5, 10 minutes. H: Let him stay, let him stay. K: Yeah let him stay! It doesn�t matter. S: Oh believe me, I�m not trying to push the guy out of here, I just don�t want to be the bitch that keeps him late. M: Get traffic. S: Get the traffic and then we�ll come� H: The handlers don�t care. R: Let�s take some calls or something. S: Oh my God, that�s a great idea! 800-400-FM97 if you�ve always wanted to� N: This guy works in radio, listen to that! (laughing) S: I know! We�re learning here. R: I�m just thinking to myself, �They�ll be huge fans cuz I filled another break.� Everyone laughing. R: Check that one off. S: This is perfect, less work for us to do. N: Oh man. (deep breath) R: NoName has a plastic bag, what is that? S: Alright traffic this time is brought to you by the genius that is Ryan Seacrest. Go ahead Kathy. (traffic update) S: Thank you Kathy. K: Welcome. R: You weren�t even listening to Kathy by the way, don�t even pretend that you were listening. K: No they don�t. S: I can�t listen to Kathy, I�m busy entertaining YOU Ryan Seacrest! R: Kathy, don�t, if she ever says, �Great job Kathy,� she has no idea. K: Ryan, they�re not SUPPOSED to listen, that�s their time to kinda regroup. S: This is our, that�s right. N: It�s when we focus. S: We don�t take commercial breaks. R: Well how the hell do you pay for this thing if there�s no commercials? The whole hour doesn�t have a commercial? N: People just listen. S: From 7 to 8 and then from 8 to 9. R: Look at Matty, Matty over there like, �That was me, that was all me, I figured that one out.� S: No we figured out a way to do it, we just have to take longer commercial breaks. R: Oh ok, alright. N: We have like 3 minutes of commercials an hour. R: But that comes later. S: It does, it does come much later. K: So we can gab more. S: That�s right! Kristen� R: Thanks Kathy, great job. N: Kristen wants to blow sunshine up Ryan�s ass. S: Alright Kristen, welcome to the program. Caller Kristen: Hi! R: Hi Kristen. Caller Kristen: Hi NoName, Sarah, all you guys. I just love you guys. Ryan, I used to listen to you back, I lived in the valley in LA� S: Omigawd Caller Kristen: �and every� no I�m from here Sarah. R: Oh now how do you feel? S: I take it back. R: Now how do you feel Sarah, huh?! (laughing) S: Well I�m feeling chastised actually. My bad! Caller Kristen: You were fantastic. I listened to the morning show which is NOTHING compared to this morning show, sorry Jamie and Danny� R: That�s the other morning show. Caller Kristen: �but this show is 10 times better. R: Wow. Caller Kristen: And um you�re just fantastic, I think you�re hilarious. I�m an old school listener, so good to hear you on the radio up here. S: That is so sweet Kristen. R: Thank you so much for calling and being old school and going way back. Caller Kristen: You�re welcome! Take care you guys. S: That�s great. R: Bye sweetie. S: Alright bye. R: Alright. S: Lisa you�re on. Caller Lisa: Hey Ryan, I love you. R: But� S: Ohhhhh Caller Lisa: But I�m also curious about� R: God I�m so used to this �but.� N: (laughing) S: �I love you but�� This American Juniors thing� R: The cadence of the question, (high voice) �I love you� (low voice) �but� why�d you do American Juniors?� Caller Lisa: I love you but I�m curious about American Juniors. I know it didn�t do as nearly as well� R: You�re what by it? S: Curious. R: Curious, ok. What�s the� S: Lisa, are you there? Caller Lisa: Yeah I�m here. R: Define you�re curiosity. S: Yeah what is your question about the American Juniors? Cuz I have some questions too now that you�ve brought it up. (dead air) Thanks for bringing it up Lisa. Caller Lisa: Ok you�re welcome. S: Alright, so American Juniors� R: (laughing) Wow. S: �What�s happening with this band and is it a band and why is the music� c�mon, the music that they put� that one song with the bad video� R: What, they�re kids, c�mon, they�re kids� N: That�s no excuse. S: No excuse. R: Do you have any kids? S: Yeah I do have kids. R: Alright, I mean come on, the kids are just trying, they�re squirrels trying to find their nut� S: They got rid of, Morgan was the best one of all of them. R: Morgan, I love the fact that you even remember Morgan. S: Are you kidding me? I loved that kid. N: Ryan doesn�t even remember the names. R: (joking) Wait, which one was that? S: Who? R: Was that that the uh, was that the guy or the girl? That was the guy. No I remember. The uh the kids actually are, they are doing something, I can�t tell you when they�re gonna have something out, but I know that they�re working, I saw them together in a studio, they�re doing something. It was really an opportunity to sort of keep the time period warm and do something for the kids because like you said earlier, we�re all about giving back, and this was just a way in. N: (laughing) S: Did you ever kiss Debbie Gibson? R: No I don�t find her hot. I�m not attracted to Debbie. S: Is that so? R: That�s true. S: She�s definitely attracted to you. R: Really? S: Oh my God. R: She�s not my, ya know what I mean, she�s a sweetheart, but she�s not my type. S: She�s too tall, that�s what it is. R: She�s too tall, I don�t like, I gotta be honest, I�m not, and I�m gonna get in trouble for saying this, I cannot REALLY date for a long period of time a woman that�s taller than me. I have this complex about it. N: Really? R: Yeah, a total complex. Matty�s like, �Me too.� Same deal right? What is that, Napoleon complex isn�t it? S: That�s what it is. N: Huh. H: Hey Ryan, if I come down to LA can we hang out? R: Where are you?! H: Right here. R: Oh sorry. He�s behind me in the other room. N: Don�t turn around, you�ll be afraid. S: Don�t turn around. (laughing) N: AAAHHH!!! What are you?! H: If I see you in LA, will we be hanging out Ryan? N: Definitely not dude. Stupid question. S: Please be honest. R: Probably not, I can�t even hang out with my friends right now. S: You can�t, you won�t be able to cut through his handlers. R: There�s a lot, I got, ya know what, there�s just people everywhere. S: How come you have so many people with you? R: Well one works for me and the other is sort of working with the television part of all this. Ya know, we were in town last night, I was at a big dinner last night� S: Oh did you? N: Where at? R: �so these people are just� where at? S: More giving back? R: The Clift N: Nice. S: Oh really? How nice. H: The Redwood Room? R: Up top, the Spanish suite. S: Mmmmmm H: Ahhhhhh N: Wow R: Fantastic by the way, the Spanish suite. H: Who was there? S: Oh the Spanish suite, ooooh H: Where was I? Who was there? S: Tell us about it. M: Oh wow, how was the chicken? (laughing) R: These were uh advertisers� S: That�s the hotel with no sign. R: �advertisers, buyers of the new television show and the folks at UPN 44 and cable 12. S: Mmm, so you�re doing a little (kissing sounds) R: Doing a little ass kissing. N: A little business. R: But ya know what, these guys are, ya know when you can tell? I think they were actually pretty excited about the show. (silence) I�m just telling you� (Everyone laughing) R: �ya know when you can tell someone�s tuning out, you know when you can tell someone�s bored? S: So they were� R: Sarah? N: You�re not biased or anything. S: �they were kissing your ass too. R: No I don�t think they were. S: Mmmm hmmm. R: But the Spanish, that hotel�s SWEET. S: Oh yeah. It�s beautiful. R: I heard you can�t get in there on the weekends though, I heard it�s packed. S: Apparently not. N: You can get in man. S: It�s so cool though now with the� N: You gotta be loving that now man, now you�re nation-wide. S: Yeah you�re Ryan Seacrest. N: You�re large. S: All the doors are open to you now Ryan. R: All of them. There�s not a door I can�t get in. H: Do you have a crazy groupie story for us? R: I had someone move in underneath my house. Like not move in, they didn�t put furniture down there, but� N: Like in the crawl space? R: �they lived under the house for a week, yeah. M: Oooooh R: That was exciting. N: Nice! S: Oh my God. R: Yeah I had to uh leave and� S: Put rat poison down there. R: (laughing) Yeah. N: Were they sneaking in your house, eating your food and stuff like that? R: No they would just stay, I mean it was a woman, she just stayed under for a couple of, I had no idea. N: Was she homeless or was she just crazy? R: I really didn�t get into the conversation. S: In love? N: Really? R: I think she, I�m gonna go with crazy, but� (laughing) N: Dude, this would have been great for your radio show. �Today we have a woman who�s been living under my house for a week.� R: Yeah unless it�s your house because� N: (laughing) R: �that�s when you decide not to continue having contact with that person. S: Don�t make that person famous. M: Yeah. R: But that, that�s one of those things you never REALLY think�s gonna happen to you. N: Dude that is an awesome story. R: Trust me� S: Did you move? R: �anyone that� no I didn�t� anybody that says that they�re bothered by people who say hi or want to take a picture, I think is, is full of it because� N: That�s so funny. R: �ya know it�s like the reason is so people see it and they recognize it� N: Sure. R: �and they, they hopefully like what you�re doing. Ya know it�s like, does it pain you when somebody walks up and says, �Hey I love your show�? S: No. N: I�m stoked. R: �Oh I can�t stand it when people bother me in a restaurant and they say, �I love listening to you guys every morning.�� I mean come on! You love that. N: Sure. S: But the thing about radio is that you� R: There�s anonymity. S: �there is anonymity, and you get to have kind of the best of both worlds. You�re, you�ve got like the little mini local fame where you can call up and get a table� N: And then you�ve got the crazy people living under his house, which is great. R: Unless you�re NoName, can�t get a table. S: Right, unless you�re NoName and nobody knows your name, and uh, but you get to sort of like live your life kind of incognito, like I can go to the park with my kids and ya know be dressed in sweats and look like crap� R: Yeah. S: �but YOU have now crossed over to the tv world� N: Sure. S: �where suddenly it�s not, you�re not just that, that�s why he�s got the posse, I just figured the whole thing out, you gotta cut through� R: Sure, body decoys. S: That�s right. R: Oh so really, is that why? I could use that then, why is it? Why do I have the posse? Cuz I might wanna use it. S: Because� R: Because I� S: �that way people can�t come up to you as easily. R: Oh that? N: They�re deflectors. R: No I actually, I quite enjoy� S: No deep down inside you can�t stand it, c�mon, tell the truth. R: I like, I�ll talk forever. I� (muffled) S: By the way, when did you start filling in for Larry King? R: Uh Larry, it�s, how�d that happen? I�m sitting there going, �I�m sitting in the studio�� N: I�m still thinking about people living under your house. S: I see Nick and Jessica are on, I�m like, �Oh I�m gonna watch Nick and Jessica.� I�m like, �Hey that�s Ryan Seacrest!� R: Yeah, well, Lar� S: And dude, WHY did you let them go on about God for so long?! I was like, �Come on Ryan!� R: I left. I walked out. S: �Talk about her breasts!� R: (laughing) S: �Or something! Why she looks like a sheet of paper when she turns sideways!� R: It is CNN. Ya know, there is a little bit of a tone you take when you�re on CNN. S: (frustrated groan) For God�s sake. R: Ya know how that happened? S: How? R: Larry and I met in an airport and I� I REALLY was, I really like the guy. N: Sure. R: I think he�s VERY good at what he does, and he does a live show, he�s done it for a long time, so I walked up and I introduced myself and he said his wife watched American Idol, we got to talking, he had six bags of books and all this heavy, the guy� N: And Garlique. R: �shouldn�t be carrying a lot of heavy bags. S: Sure. R: So I� you said garlic? N: Garlique. R: Garlique? N: Ya know he pimps the Garlique. R: Oh he does pimp the Garlique? N: Yeah. R: He pimps the Garlique. (laughing) N: You work in radio dude, you don�t know that? You�ve never heard� R: He pimps� Larry King and pimp in the same thought just� N: You�ve never heard Larry King�s commercials? (Larry King impersonation) �I�m Larry King. Garlique settles my stomach.� R: No that doesn�t run. M: That�s just a nighttime ad dude. S: (laughing) R: That doesn�t run on mine� but anyway, so I carried some of his bags, we got to talking, he invited me on his show, I went on as a guest, then after the show he said, �I want you to host the show for me.� So I think I�m gonna do it again in a couple of weeks too. S: How many times have you done it? R: Uh I�ve done it once. S: Oh just the one time. R: I did it once and he was great. He said, �Who do you want to book?� and I said, �Nick and Jessica.� S: Ah. R: I mean that was the reason that they were there, because I just find that whole thing so God dang fascinating. N: Sure. R: Did you see where they signed like an� allegedly a $20 million dollar deal? S: It�s sickening. N: Nice. R: Brilliant! N: You should try to live under their house. R: Again, good for them� I might. Good for them. N: They need that, that would be a good little episode. R: Ya know what, more power to �em. S: I absolutely love that show. R: I do too. S: It�s a total guilty pleasure. R: The marathon, I�m s� I can�t, I�m just bummed that I�ve seen all the episodes now so� N: (announcer voice) �We�ve found someone living under our house and it�s Ryan Seacrest.� (screams) NOOOOO!!! (Everyone laughs) S: (imitating Ryan) �Can I be your guys� pool guy?� N: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! R: (deep breath) Ok. S: Oh my God, let�s see, plug new show, there it is, On Air with Ryan Seacrest starts in January. Thanks for hanging out so long. R: Yeah, it�s been� fun, thank you. S: Has it really? R: Yeah, I, I�ve enjoyed it. It�s great. N: This guy loves radio man. R: I do. S: He is a radio guy. Well we were even saying, cuz we had you as a mystery, what do you feel, what do you think about being a mystery guest? Kind of like, you feel a little gypped that you had to be a mystery guest? R: No. S: Spend the first five minutes just saying yes or no. R: No, why? From like my point of view how does that feel for people to sit in this chair and do it? No it doesn�t bother me at all, as a matter of fact I think I�m gonna do it on my show now. S: Is that so? R: Yeah, it doesn�t bother me. S: That, Guess the Celebrity, listen for all these� R: I actually, the most difficult thing about that is not being able to� S: Talk. R: �just speak, cuz they�re like, �Mel Gibson�� S: You�re a radio guy. R: Exactly. You wanna fill time. N: Totally. R: Ya know. S: Exactly. R: It doesn�t bother me at all, no, and it�s funny to hear what people guess. N: (laughing) S: Yes. R: �Michael Jackson.� What?! How? Just cuz of my jacket and they can�t even see it. Alice at 97.3. S: Wow. N: (laughing) M: See he knows how to reset a room! R: That�s what�(muffled) If you�re just tuning in it�s Sarah� N: I�m taking notes. I�m learning how to do my job. M: Teach them how to do that. S: Yeah let�s, can you please� N: Say �Alice at 97.3 FM� R: It�s 7:43 at Alice 97.3� First of all at this radio station you have to be, you don�t want to be over, a little too excited, you know what I mean, let�s save that for some of the other stations. Like you guys are, we�re here hanging. S: Yeah, it�s casual. R: So they flip it on, I mean� S: It�s as real as it gets in San Francisco. R: �you�re barely sitting up. S: It�s true! (laughing) I�m sorry. R: If you�re slouching� N: I�m on my cell phone. �Hello?� R: If you�re just flipping us on, it�s 7:44, Alice at 97.3 FM, Ryan Seacrest is with us, he�s been hanging out for WAY too long. S: He was our mystery guest this morning. R: He was our mystery guest earlier. N: He has a new show coming on� something� UPN 44/Bay Area cable 12. R: Thanks for listening NoName. S: On Air. R: On Air with Ryan Seacrest, UPN 44/cable 12, weekdays, 5. N: American Idol is not a racist show according to him. R: Correct. S: And according to me too. N: He claims metrosexual, he has no problem putting out bad music and promoting it. S: The #1 metrosexual. R: I sing cheesy music out loud, I�m good with it. N: He loves it. S: Favorite song of all time? R: Of all time� (sighs) Oh HUGE question� S: I suppose it�s too hard. R: Of all� for us in radio that�s a� S: What�s the first one that pops into your head? R: God, I see so many different artists. Alright, first one, of all time, can�t be Man In The Mirror, uh� S: Oh my God. N: (laughing) R: I�m kidding, I�m kidding. M: That�s what you said. R: I�m totally kidding. S: That�s what you said, that�s it. M: That�s it, Man In The Mirror. S: Write that down, Ryan Seacrest�s favorite song is Man In The Mirror. R: Well it�s 5 minutes and 25 seconds of pleasure. S: (singing) �The man in the mirror�� N: (laughing) S: I have to admit I sing that one to myself occasionally. R: Isn�t that scary what we do alone? S: On Wednesdays we do guilty pleasures, and it�s the songs� R: Oh come on� S: � songs that you wouldn�t� R: I do that too. S: Oh do you really? R: I played Bel Biv Devoe �Do Me� on my station, which is a station kinda like this, the other night. S: Yeah, sure. R: Criss Cross �Jump Jump� I played on Friday. N: Sure. Now do you do Metal Monday? R: I don�t. S: Yeah this morning we did �Home Sweet Home� by Motley Crue. R: See that, I have to tell you, the �Pour Some Sugar On Me�, the �Love Bites�, big fan of that. S: Sure. R: Love that stuff. S: Do Metal Monday, that�s what we do. R: That�s what we should do. S: That�s our excuse to play Winger� R: To play all that stuff� Winger� M: Hey hey hey, we gotta keep some of our own stuff here. S: Yeah actually it�s true, if we give it to him, Jamie and Danny will steal it. M: Seacrest is gonna get written up for all these things. S: I know. R: Do you do Tesla? I like a little Tesla. S: We just, we played Tesla last week. N: Last Monday. R: Yeah. S: �Modern Day Cowboy� R: Oh God. H: Do you guys do movie reviews down there? R: Uh� (laughing) N: Hooman wants a job. S: Yeah Hooman so� N: Will you take Hooman? S: Hooman you scum! H: I�m kidding! It was a joke! S: You�re totally trying to jump ship just cuz he�s bigger than us! H: I just wanna know what he wants to do, he�s not that big. R: Hooman� 7:45, Alice at 97.3 FM. Did you, um, what was the story with Love Actually? How did it do? H: I didn�t see that one. R: What the hell�s� S: It actually took in 6.6 million dollars, which is good because it was on very few screens. R: Ok. S: It was good for sixth place. R: Cuz THAT�S the one I wanted to see. I tried to see it yesterday but it wasn�t playing anyplace. S: I�m a Hugh Grant fan to tell you the truth. It was very limited release. R: It was very limited, he does a lot of the same, but God, I love it every time. S: What�d you think of the Matrix? Did you see that? R: I�m not a big, I, I can�t get into the Matrix, I� S: It was terrible. N: Nap time? R: �I didn�t even get, like the first one I didn�t really even like, so� M: Wow. R: Yeah. I know. N: Wow. R: Relax Matty. I gotta go. S: By the way, this is the international sign for I don�t know what. R: Yeah apparently, he�s grabbing me and getting me out of here. N: (laughing) R: Listen, 7:46, thanks for having me on. S: Thank you for being on. (claps) Ryan Seacrest everybody. And he�ll be calling us throughout the day. R: Apparently. S: Or will he? R: Oh no, and if he doesn�t, he�s a prick. N: (laughing) S: We�ll place our bets. R: I know how that goes. S: And right after this we are going to do our jury of 8 as to whether or not Ryan Seacrest was good as a mystery guest because as you know, Matty said, fought violently and vehemently against him being a mystery guest while NoName and I said he�s the perfect mystery guest. R: I like the usage of vehemently, that was nice. S: Agree� thank you, thanks so much. N: Big words, she uses the big words. R: I like that, you�re going out. N: I just go, �Uh huh, dude, yeah, uh huh, dude, yeah.� R: You�re a nodder. N: Yeah, uh huh. H: Hey Ry! R: Yeah. H: Don�t forget to call us from the other stations. R: Yeah I got the message kids. I got it baby. S: Ok great. Back in a moment, it�s Alice. |
| Thanks to Matty for sending me a cd of this interview and to Alice @ 97.3 for the pictures. I transcribed this entire 40-minute interview myself, so please do not share it without giving credit. |
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| NoName, Ryan, & Sarah |