Common
Sense
Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never! This is the
definitive rule to live by!
DO
NOT, I repeat DO NOT, while stoned and sucking nitrous
oxide out of a balloon in the presence of two bongs
abruptly decide to stand on your head, as you may
topple over, spilling both bongs and getting bongwater
all over the carpet.
If
you don't know which way to pass it, just pass it
to the left (You are supposed to anyway).
Never
mess with the lighter when someone wants to light
the bowl.
Never
under any circumstances touch anybody else's bud without
asking.
When
you say you are going to match a bowl, make sure you
can before you say so. And make sure it's of the same
quality, because not everybody likes a tossed salad.
Never
say to someone who has smoked their weed with you
"I'm not high". It's rude.
Never
roll seeds or stems in a joint, or blunt. You just
get a headache, and burn holes in your clothes
seeds
explode like popcorn. Plus seeds stank!
Don't
fuck with people when they're Stoned, let them enjoy
the High.
If
someone drops the weed, the person who spots it first
should be strongly considered to take first greens.
NEVER
NEVER NEVER! Show or tell anyone about what you are
growing in the backyard!
Always
be sure to break your weed up before you pack a bowl.
Stems are no good for long term health and seeds taste
like barbecued chicken
some people are vegetarians.
If
one has their own weed and they double hit it, it's
their damn weed, don't bitch. Conversely, you don't
have to ask to hit your own weed twice, its your weed.
General Smoking
Etiquette
If
a person passes on one round DO NOT assume that they
are passing on the next round.
Never
bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If
you don't like it don't smoke it!
Cover
your mouth when a hit starts kickin' your ass. No
one needs to you cough and spit all over them, and
besides, you don't want to risk damaging the goods!
If
someone smokes you out and you have weed of your own,
it's polite to match at least one bowl.
If
you are privileged enough to afford nugs constantly,
don't bitch about everyone else's schwag.
Always
remember to smoke as much as possible and when you
are fucked up quit, you wouldn't want to waste weed.
When you're high you're high.
While
smoking weed and you have to cough, never hold it
in just because no one else has coughed. If you have
to cough, cough (You get more stoned after you cough
anyway).
When
waiting in the rotation for the smoke, don't anxiously
put your hand out, it'll get there. On the converse,
if someone's bogarting the smoke, politely or humorously
let them know, but it's never cool to bitch.
When
smoking nugs, and there is a switch to a lesser quality
(but no less appreciated) type of Bud, be kind and
let the rest know, in case they want to handle their
hits differently, if ya know what I mean
ALWAYS
CLEAN YOUR PLATE (finish your bong loads, everybody
deserves a fresh hit).
If
someone has not smoked weed from the particular device
that you are using, make sure to help them out until
they get the hang of it. You are not only just being'
a good friend, but you aren't wasting your weed either.
General People
Etiquette
Always
remember to thank a person who has gotten you high.
Always
ask before lighting a cigarette, just because a person
lets you smoke-out in their house does not mean that
you can smoke cigarettes.
Never
go to someone's house expecting him or her to get
you high. Thank them when they do get you high.
If
you're a pot "virgin" or a light weight,
let the fact be known. No one likes getting thrown
up on or having a passed out stranger on their hands
due to inexperienced toking.
If
you've been invited to toke with someone don't bring
strangers along unless the "tokey" is all
right with it..
If
you do bring someone along with you make sure they
aren't buzz killers, mooches, or narcs.
If
you're in a large group of people and only one person
has weed, do not keep asking them to smoke. They are
too many to smoke out sometimes. People don't want
to waste all their money on everyone else.
If
smoking in a dorm room, always pass the spoof directly
after passing the bowl.
Always
rag on somebody you know can't handle much but tries
to clear a monster bong rip, and coughs their fuckin'
brains out and pukes. (Especially in front of women).
You
are not doing anyone a favor by smoking their weed.
Never expect them to get up in order to pass you the
bowl or remind them every time it's their hit.
Treat
your smoke-out
buddy the way you wanna be treated.
Never
act grumpy or bitchy before smoking...just relax.
Afterall, you'll be happy in a little while anyway.
Never
ask to borrow or have a persons bong, bowl, blunts
or papers without offering to smoke them up, too.
When
scoring for a friend it is never polite to expect
that they will just give you a nug, you have to make
the decision before hand whether or not to pinch a
nug.
The
morning after a long night, and it just so happens
you never made it back home, never, I mean never,
take the last bong load or the last hit left in the
pipe. Leave that for the owner of the house.
When
toking in a group, make it obvious that you're passing
to the next person. No one wants to be rude and grab
it but at the same time
let's not waste the smoke, or make people ask, "Is
that a pass?".
When
someone else is hitting, don't laugh or do something
to cause laughter until the hit is over and the weed
has been passed.
If
you are a smoker with children, even if you are comfortable
smoking with them around, ask your guests if they
feel comfortable as well. It's weird when a kid walks
in and sees you getting high.
When
everyone has smoked and your buddy shows up late,
help him get started fast, it's no fun being the only
guy who's not high.
Fuzzy Buddy
Fun
If
your animal likes a good buzz, it's all good, but
don't leave your stash out where they can get at it.
If they eat it, and get very high, they do dumb &
uncoordinated things (like falling down a whole flight
of stairs, resulting in a broken wrist and herniated
vertebrae).
If
there is an animal near by that enjoys a good smoke,
blow one their way. DON'T EVER FORCE SMOKE TO AN ANIMAL.
Karma Police
If
someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using
the excuse that its okay for them to bogart it since
it's their weed, this is definitely not cool. The
punishment depends on the quality of the weed and
how much they put in. (If it was real crappy and they
were real cheap with it, then you rag on them.
Never
bogart! (i.e. hogging the joint/blunt/piece etc.;
"nursing"; keeping the weed being smoked
for a longer period of time than necessary, taking
numerous hits before you pass. Definitely not cool.)
If
a friend gets you high sometime in the future you
need to get that friend high...Never ask someone for
some Pot when you know they only have a little and
you never return a favor to them. You're greedy.
If
you are smoking with two other people and you are
the middle person, you do not get a hit every time
it passes you. Just because you are in the middle
does not allow you extra hits.
When
you are high, try to be careful about the homeowner's
stuff. Being "so high" is not an excuse
for breaking stuff.
Don't
be the shady one that leaves someone out of a circle
just because they happen to be in the next room at
that point in time.
Do
not smoke and run. It is very rude to smoke at the
owners house and then leave straight away, unless
they want you to.
Do
not EVER jack anyone's lighter, piece, bong, weed,
etc.
If
for some reason you are to break the bowl/bong that
you're using, you are obligated to buy one of equal
value in the NEAR future.
If
you are with your friends and you tell them you'll
smoke with them and get them high as hell, don't tell
them if you are only going to smoke about 3 hits worth,
cause that's nothing but a weed tease!
Don't
ever mess up the rotation. This could cause someone
to lose their hit. You would not want to be skipped,
so why would someone else want to?
Don't
give shotguns so that you can sneak in some hits before
blowing especially if it's not your weed. It's shady
and obvious (to experienced smokers).
Never
steam someone's weed to add weight. Bad Karma!
If
you know someone that's always nice to you whenever
you have Chronic and never gives a rat's ass about
you any other time, let em know you don't wanna be
taken advantage of with your Stash. They are called
Free Loaders.
Just Cruisin'
If
the passenger in your car is breaking up the weed,
by all means possible, turn corners slow. Nobody likes
wasted weed all over their car.
When
smoking in a friend's car ("hot boxing"),
never open the windows (unless they ask you), this
allows everyone to enjoy the smog.
When
smoking in someone's car never burn the seats, and
if you do, NEVER try to hide it.
Blunt Rules
Puff
Puff Pass. No exceptions!
When
smoking a joint or a blunt, don't ash the ashes on
the floor if you are inside.
Don't
ever ask anyone who doesn't know how to roll a blunt,
to roll a blunt. Its just a waste of weed, and time.
If
the joint or blunt starts to run (aka canoe), don't
just keep on smoking, FIX THE RUN!
If
you are going to smoke a joint or blunt and you didn't
either buy the smoke or put in on it, at least offer
to buy the papers or the Phillies.
If
you are smoking a blunt or joint of someone else's
weed, ASK them what they want to do with the roach.
Some people save them some don't.
Never
flick the cherry off of the spliff or blunt. It pisses
hot rock all over the place and wastes good drugs.
Bong Rules
If
you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough
in the bowl for a whole other hit, you should save
the smoke in the chamber for the next person. (Don't
let go of the shotgun and take it all yourself)
NEVER,
and I repeat NEVER take a shot of bong water, not
even on a dare. It tastes like complete ass and you
will more than likely puke from it.
Again,
when using a bong, don't blow out the ashes, unless
that's what the "homeowner" does.
Don't
drool in the bong when taking a hit. There's nothing
worse then watching a person salivate in your bong
then pass it on.
If
you are ever to hit off a gravity bong and cash a
whole bowl in one hit, be prepared to spit and cough
all over the place, requiring you to need water. Also
be polite if your friend needs water and don't hand
them an empty cup. Prepare to be stoned as hell.
If
the bong spills, don't hide the fact from the homeowner.
Offer aid if they select a course of action for cleanup.
(And don't forget to put more water back in!)
Never
drop the lighter into the water of a gravity bong.
Never rest a lighter on the top of your bong. Sooner
or later, it'll go swimming.
Suck
slow never fast or you will be coughing all over the
place, waste your weed and maybe even get a mouthful
of bongwater.
Don't
hit or knock the bowl if it is not pulling through.
Bongs crack, bowls break. Use a poker. If it's your
bong hit away.
When
smoking a water bong, NEVER, under any circumstances,
EVER blow INTO the bong. This will result in the soakage
of your Nugz.
Rules for
Joints
The
person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it
is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hits.
If
someone rolls a nice joint, it's good to give the
person a compliment on their rolling skills.
When
it is your turn to hit the joint, take your hit and
then pass it on. Some people have a tendency to tell
a story or something whenever it is their turn and
hold on to the joint for a long time. We call this
"Nursing the Joint" or "story Toking"
.
If
you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend,
it is polite to roll a joint, (a small one, if you
wish) and smoke with the person who sells you the
stuff.
When
the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem
with it, put the roach in a bowl and finish it that
way.
Always
ash the blunt or joint before passing it. It sucks
getting ashes on your clothes.
NEVER
DROP THE BATTON! but if you drop the joint, everyone
who is smoking gets to slap you once; and by all means
never let it go out...that's a No No.
When
smoking a joint, NEVER try to do your Snoop Dogg (from
Half Baked)
impression. Trying to power hit will only cause you
to suck up the whole thing and burn your lips. True
Story!
Rules of the
Pipe
If
someone is too uncoordinated to light the bowl (due
to being too stoned or the person is just a retard,
then they must relinquish control of the lighter to
someone more able to get it lit. This does not mean
the person who lights gets free hits... this privilege
tends to get abused.
If
someone is so stoned that they blow into the bowl
and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must
be ragged on and the person can't smoke on the next
round (unless it was their stuff)...others have told
that when this happens, the 'perp' gets a lighter
burn, but that is a little too painful for some!
If
smoking a joint or a bowl, never put the whole thing
in your mouth and get it all sopping wet. It's disgusting.
It
is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without
notifying that person of its possible cashed-ness.
A proper warning would be "Here ya go...I think
it might be cashed."
The
person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity
to take greens (first hit). It doesn't matter whose
bowl it is.
When
smoking out of your buddy's glass, never clean their
bowl or shine their glass for them without asking.
They may like the bowl resin-ated, or the glass dull.
When
someone asks you if you have a match to their bowl,
and you do, it is polite to say so.
To
all the Glass Owners keep
the mouth piece and the carb holes clean. You don't
want to gross out your guest.
Some Quick
Advice...
Never
underestimate the gravitational, stoning ability of
RESIN! In times of being "highly"
challenged, a good scrapin' of that tired [glass]
bowl will yield it's stoning size equivalent, TWO
FOLD, to the quality of the forging dank. Remember,
recycling is hip now! Not only will happy days shine
again; your blazed ass
will get to rewatch your favorite pieces recolor.
...And always stash you resin paper
clip
in the same location...it really sucks when you've
lost your basic means of scrapin' the black
tar...but
in that case, just heat the bowl to about the temperature
of Hell, and suck...just be careful not to be the
one who gets burned by the scorching bowl...'cause
someone always does... =) .............Additionally
you can boil your pieces in some water and collect
the resin that way. works especially well with glass.
Munchies!
If
you smoke with someone in your house, you should let
them eat some of the food you may have lying around.
Munchies happen, so don't be cheap with your food.
On
the other side of this, always offer to go on a food
run, especially if the person whose house it is got
you high. An even better idea is to go ahead of time,
so when the munchies kick in or the dreaded cottonmouth
occurs, you'll be prepared and be able to enjoy the
high.
If
someone does offer you food, don't totally pigout
on it. They had to pay for it, and most people have
better uses for their money than buying food for their
guests. (Like buying more weed)
If
someone asks for a sip of your drink, you must give
them some. (cottonmouth is not fun)
Converse
of the above: if you ask for a sip, don't take a large
gulp .
If
smoking a lot of someone's treez, always offer to
throw down funds or to buy food or drinks...don't
be a taker.
The
least high one at a smokeout has to order the take
out and count the money. If it is done incorrectly
it won't turn up and you get no munchies. If you're
not high don't be a bitch.
Edited
and revised by: Heidi Lee