"Tears" Notes

NC-17 is not something I write. In fact, I usually bolt in the other direction. It makes me squeamish and I quickly read over those parts, unless I think it's something beyond "Chicka-pow-pow" music...

But I had something to say with "Tears of the Child" and it couldn't be told in an "R" format.

This isn't a "porn" story. If you only read the first half, well, then yes, it sounds like it. But this is a tale about abuse, pure and simple, and how it affects the individual and those around him/her. Abuse, no matter how long ago, affects us for the rest of our lives. If we don't deal with it, it becomes a shield we cannot pierce, a stumbling block that will destroy us. As painful as it is, it must be faced--and I wanted the reader to face the pain on both sides of the issue. Whether or not I succeeded is up to you.

It *is* an uncomfortable tale to tell.  I wrote it primarily from Wolverine's point of view, because he was the outsider who had to reevaluate himself, through his wife. He had the tough job of  understanding what 'Ro went through and he had to get it through his head that his wife had a problem--a problem that he couldn't solve, and  never could solve. In some ways, I saw Wolverine as ignorant--not stupid, just self-serving. He felt satisfied, and was satisfied that Ororo was enjoying herself. The rest was immaterial to him, until he discovered the truth.  But only as her husband could he stay committed with her and help her grow to maturity through it, and in the end learn something about himself. If he weren't loyal to her, or committed to her, it would never have worked. It doesn't work in the real world--why should the X-world be any different?

Is some of what happened here true? Yes and no--embellished surely for the X-Men genre, but pieces of it are true. None of it, fortunately, happened to me, but this stuff happens. I actually pulled my punches for some of the story. Rwanda is a real place with real, horrific mass murder conflicts. People get hacked to death with machetes, maimed by them. Children "disappear" from Africa daily, often to be sold into slavery--sometimes to rich North African countries. And sexual abuse of this magnitude happens everywhere--to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives. And we never know, we never think outside of our comfort zones. Better yet, why aren't we looking beyond appearances to see real truth--?

Well. I didn't intend for this to be a preacher's forum, but I didn't quite succeed. Suffice it to say that this story is extremely graphic, but it could have been more so. Unless you're ready to face such issues, don't read it. But if you do read it, I hope it sticks with you for the rest of your life. Not for graphic purposes, but for learning ones.

May the ending of such crimes come soon.

--"nina."