"Healing Heart" was the very first Logan/Ororo story I wrote. Ever. After a near-marriage proposal turned an otherwise joyful time into sorrow and heartache, my heart ached for release. I had to write my feelings out, somehow. The event began eating away at me. I remembered Ororo's luck with Forge and, although I'd never read the actual issue before writing it out, I imagined how Ororo felt...I knew exactly how she felt, in fact. I bit my lip and began writing blind, thinking, "this will never work. I've never read that issue. I don't even know what happened...and here I am, thinking I'm God's gift. I'm going to post it on fanfiction.net, and I'm going to get slammed into next week." I honestly didn't know what to expect since I hadn't picked up any X-Men comics in over a decade. But I'd always seen Logan as Ororo's perfect fit--he'd always been there for her, and he'd always shoot straight with her, without pulling any punches. He'd tell her what she needed to hear, and she'd accept it from him (Seriously, I doubt she would've listened to anyone else).
As I put my pen to paper, the story began writing itself. I didn't have a Logan in my life to heal my own personal scars, but I used him as my invisible muse. He became the invisible person to whom I poured out my anger, and he was the one who told me the truth--that I didn't need him. That I was better than that. That there *was* someone better out there, if I only waited and watched...and listened. My pen wrote faster. More ideas came.
I wrote "HH" fully expecting a host of Ororo fans to point out my every technical error, but I didn't care. It wasn't for them--it was for me. It was a cathartic experience to heal my own heart, and I had to express how I felt since I couldn't tell my ex-fiancé (he was busy courting another woman, after all). I was surprised that fans actually loved the story. I'd never written a romance before "HH" and suddenly, with that little push, I began writing them all over the place. Logan's frustrations came second ("Life Dance"). I see him more of a man who misses the best because he's afraid of chasing after it. Perhaps he's afraid to be happy because he doesn't think he deserves happiness. Or he's afraid he'll screw it up. In my opinion, it's the only reason why he didn't hook up with Ororo long ago...
In any case, "HH" was written more for me than the fans, but still...if it works, I won't fix it. If my emotional frustrations helped others get through their personal frustrations, then what I wrote did its job.
--"nina."