Author's Notes: Double Vision

I've been asked if "Double Vision" is from my own personal experiences. No, it's not. Not directly, anyway. There are many in my family who are alcoholics and drug addicts but no, I am not one.  Still, I grew up with the knowledge, since my mother was a drug/alcohol counselor, and I grew up with the implications, since my mother is an adult child of an alcoholic. Alcoholism isn't pretty. I wanted to paint that picture, and get the reader to understand that it's not the picture we always see of the typical drunk. And alcoholism isn't Andy Capp, or "Arthur" or Otis from the Andy Griffith Show. It's more like Nicholas Cage in "Leaving Las Vegas." And even that's more of a glorification of the total reality. It's ugly. Deal with it.

So, why Scott?

Well, Scott, in my opinion, seems to live in denial. He doesn't accept the truth if he disagrees with it, even when the answer's plain as day. He literally has to hit an emotional bottom before he will change. In his life, everything is a pattern…deviate from the pattern, and he is lost. I decided to break the patterns in his life—shatter them into pieces, in fact. I wondered how he'd cope. Who is Scott Summers, inside? Can he live without his emotional pillars? My story was an attempt to find out. I think that without emotional maturity, Scott Summers would turn to something to dull his pain until something else forced him to deal with his emotions. Poor Scott: Great leader, emotional midget. But he's learning. Always learning…

I've enjoyed watching Scott learn over the years, but he has some really big blind spots. Some writers have picked up on this, and I've enjoyed watching those writers deal with his blind issues. They pick up on the irony of his name, "Cyclops," and play with both his physical and emotional blindness (which, of course, is why I called this series "Double Vision"). Scott doesn't see what's in front of him. He never does. Not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to. He either has too much faith in individuals or he has too little belief in the wickedness of the soul. He can be a black and white thinker. He misses subtle cues. He's a Diligent man with a heart that screams for release. To me, he's often at odds with his heart—his heart screams the truth at him, but his head refuses to listen. And so he falls into emotional tailspins.

I see Scott as a man whose still waters run deep. Who is he? What's the measure of a man? Could Scott accept help if he needed it? How far would he fall before he'd reach for help? Would he ever ask for help?

Sometimes, too, I think he acts like a "dry drunk" in the comics (look it up). He acts like an alcoholic without taking a drink. I just took the one step further, and made him become one.

People have asked me why "Double Vision" is so short. Yes, it could've been longer, and I've played with the idea of padding it—and I probably will, down the line. But for now, I wrote the story that needed to be said. I had to tell the tale and get it off my chest, without glorifying the downward spiral and without miring it in pathos or pathetic posturing. I had to deal with my own emotions, through Scott. And Scott had to deal with his. Perhaps in the future you'll see more, or you'll see a sequel. For now, though, if the story made you think or dream or cringe, then it did its job.

--"nina."