To access Index go to bottom of page and click on "home".
A humorous poem on academic life at Simon Fraser University(1970)
It can sometimes be seen rising out of the mist.
While others declare; It can�t really exist!
But it does you know, I have seen it you see,
I have been to the land of the "Twaddle-de-de.
I was screwed, stewed, and pitted before getting free-
Of the Twaddlers up there who tried diddling me.
You seekers of knowledge and little round scrolls,
Beware, I tell you! Keep off of that Knoll!
High on the hill it can clearly be seen.
Some people think it�s the start of a dream
Where a short spell up there will bring peaches and cream.
-If you listen awhile you can hear them alL scream.
Now the twaddlers up there seldom ever make sense,
And the systems designed to bring in the pence.
The Computers kaput and it�s gone all to Hell
When a class is so loaded the dumbest can tell
That three hundred can�t sit for a spell
On Eighty-four stools in a class and do well!
All the twiddlers and fiddlers will smile and be nice
And hint, to your life,- they have just added spice.
As sweet as can be they�ll suggest that you can -
Change all your courses! Make a new plan!
They�ll ignore the fact that you�ll now have to cram
For a class that you�ve missed by two weeks from this scam.
It�s run by a Twaddler dressed up in a gown.
And down in the low-lands her name gets around.
It was unrealistic to place it so high.
Not many can climb to that place in the sky.
It forces the poor to give many a sigh.
When they miss the last bus; you can hear them all cry.
It was not meant to be a home for the poor,
Or an exit from surfdom; of that I am sure.
Each twaddler assures you, you can make the grade,
Knowing full well that the plans have been laid
And designed to insure that each step has been made
To see that the ones left with wit--slowly fade.
On the subject of tests I�ll try not to bore,
For the twaddlers up there are still keeping score.
They�re laughing their guts out at students who tried
To juggle three books on a desk a foot wide
While working a problem that had a flip side.
For that the head Diddler must really take pride!
On a clear sunny day the place shines very bright.
And some people say it is our guiding light.
But just between students at night in the pub.
Between friends you might say as they drink chug-a-lug.
The twaddlers are known. But who cares a plug?
Dad�s footing the bill - so why pull out the rug?
But here�s a queer thing that I�d like to expound.
It�s dimensions are mentioned in a book that�s around.
The quadrangle, its angle, the use of each space.
That�s right! It�s the Bible that mentions the place.
It�s Solomons Temple; take that grin off your face!
I�m not here to imply you�r imbued with such grace!
Now I will leave you, cause I know damn well
That all of you there have been put in a spell.
You dream of the day when you will come down
With a scroll in your hand and enter the town
To bedazzle the lowly in black cap and gown
That you earned in four years with a few thousand pound.
Not so, my sweetlings, I�ve got news for you,
Not many from there will make good- I speak true!
Our paper work structure is overdone now
And science becoming a uselesss brown cow.
Psych this - and Psych that - can not tell me how
I can substitute brains for some real decent chow.
It�s sad you�ve been diddled by those on the Hill.
And truth is well known for a real bitter pill.
But swallow it quick, before you get ill!
Or become a Twaddler yourself on that Hill!!!!