| grayline tour stories |
| GRAYLINE TOUR STORIES |
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| Friday July 20th, 2001 New Liskeard, Ontario |
| Hey, it's Pete again continuing on. There ended up being no show this day so we just hung around Northern, Ontario sighteeing. We were staying down the road at the McBride household in Notre-Dame-Du-Nord which was actually in Quebec. The house itself was located on the Temiskaming Indian Reserve just outside of town. We were scheduled to play at the community centre the next day. Carol McBride was actually the Grand Chief for awhile and was very instrumental in getting a proposed garbage dump at a mine site in Northern Ontario scrapped. Their house has a lot of very interesting Native heritage stuff to look at and we always enjoy our stay there. With nothing to do we decided to check out some of the sites that people had been talking about and put up some more posters. We had always seen signs for the old Cobalt mines on our trips up North and decided to take a tour. Our guide was female and very cute and seemed a little apprehensive at first... maybe we had the look of sex hungry convicts out on a day pass or something. We all agreed though that if there was any gang banging to be done, Darren was last. (fuck you guys- Darren) There was also another group with us so any crazed sex thoughts were only played out in our minds. (Pete hadn't jerked off for like 3 weeks at this point so he is getting a little backed up and delusional or something- Randy) (fuck you we all wanted to bang her- Pete) (um, yeah, you're right-Darren and Randy). So off we go on the little tour and it was actually pretty cool to check out the old mines. It was really cold in there like a freezer and it was 32 degrees celsius outside. We got to wear hardhats which were pretty special. It was crazy to hear how many people were killed working in these things. Death traps really. We hung around in Cobalt for a while and talked to some of the kids about the show on Saturday but nobody had a way there and all said we should play in Cobalt. Then it was off in the quest to find Devil's Rock. The story of Devil's Rock says that a young Native girl was to be married in a ceremony to someone she didn't love. It was one of those arranged marriages for status things and on the day that she was supposed to be wed she jumped to her death from the peak of Devil's Rock. This was a big stone cliff overlooking a small lake. Supposedly when you looked at the side of the rock peak you could see the outline of a face. There was also supposed to be a waterfall and be really cool. Okay, Randy here. Everything sounds all good and touristy so far but let me tell ya what happens when we get to Devil's Rock. It takes us awhile to find this place because people keep giving us vague directions. Like "go down about a mile to Uncle Bruce's house and make a left. When you get to where I lost my virginty with cousin Becky you'll make a right and you'll see some cows..." No, not that bad, but pretty close. We come to this campground and you have to hike through some woods to get to the rock. They say it takes about 45 minutes to hike there and there's two paths. One for normal people and one for hikers/climbers. We get some water and start up the hill. We met some people coming down who said it took an hour. Fuck it, we're here, we're going up 'cause it's supposed to be cool. We set off at a quick pace and it's hot as a motherfucker. We hear shit running in the bushes and Darren is a little unnerved thinking rabid raccoons or something. At one point Pete screams and is off sprinting like Ben Johnson. Thought he heard a snake. This isn't a path, it's a fucking obstacle course. Hate to see what the hiking trail is like. Anyways, we finally get to the top after about 35 minutes and we're all panting pretty good and... and... nothing!! We're confused. The trees end and there is a maybe 6-8 foot outcropping of rock that overlooks a lake. We're at the edge of a tree line that has a wire perimiter fence around it to keep you from venturing too close to the rock and taking a tumble over the lip. We look to the left and to the right and can hear voices from either side of us. We scoot throught the trees and there are small areas sectioned off on more barren sections of the rock for taking pictures. One young family is having a picnic. There's no waterfall and we realize that the only way you could see the supposed face on the rocks was to look up from in the water. We hiked all the way up for this? I hear Pete crashing through the trees and me and Darren follow him. He jumps over the fence at one point and heads towards the edge of the rock. "Fuck this," he says, "it's too fucking hot" and starts to take off his clothes. "You're fucking crazy" Darren says and Pete replies "who cares, nobody's gonna see anything." Darren gets out his camera and starts taking pictures. In a flash Pete's naked and says "take a picture of this!!" and starts shoving a very erect cock through the holes in the chain fence!!! I was in fucking tears!!!! It was beyond classic. Darren was laughing so hard he couldn't see and then Pete jumps on the ground and lays all out yelling at me to take some Playgirl type pictures and make sure I got some nice scenery in the background. Holy fuck, it was the funniest thing I'd seen in years. With all that done we headed back down the trail and cursed the day we'd ever heard about Devil's Rock. It was getting later so we headed back to New Liskeard to find some food and something to do. Okay, so I'm gonna take over now. Darren here. After we left Devil's Cock we ate at some Chinese food place and then hit the night life... we went and saw the Vin Diesel movie. Lot's of hot chicks and cool cars in it. Fluff movie for sure. So now it's like 8:50 on a Friday night in New Liskeard so what are we gonna do? Hmmm, so we head off to Tim Horton's to find it FUCKING CLOSED!!!! What kind of piece of shit town doesn't have 24 hour Tim Horton's much less one that is closed at 9pm on a Friday?!!! New Liskeard. We hear there's another one on the highway but fuck that. So we're sitting on the steps of a bank on the main corner in downtown staring at traffic. Some kid comes with a remote control car and starts ramming it into Pete's shoe. I was hoping he'd kick it into traffic after awhile because it got fucking annoying after like 20 minutes!! The kid finally deked and we were tallying up all the Liskeard strip cruisers. The idiots that drive up and down the street over and over and over. We must have looked like idiots ourselves just sitting there. So I decide to whip my cock out and see if anybody notices. I walk back and forth with my dick hanging out but most people won't even acknowledge you're there. "Oh honey, there's a young punk standing on the sidewalk. Don't look at him, he might rob us... Look away look away." I think a couple of people saw and then we saw the cops coming down the road giving us the big stares. They kept driving by looking at us. Fucking smalltown pigs. We packed it in and headed for the Tim's out of town on the highway for our fix and went back to Darryl's house and crashed. Wish we had a show. Wish I was at fucking home. One more day left in the tour and I'll be bck in my own bed. My happy place. |
| Let me say for the record that I had nothing to do with these guys for the last three days and I didn't have any part in this debauchery and mayhem. I am a good, wholesome Greek boy. And contrary to popular opinion, that wasn't me in the trailer park in Truro with my pants around the ankles yelling "what goes on tour, stays on tour!". These guys are about as responsible and honest as your common criminal. Gossip mongers and shit disturbing trouble makers at best. Nick |