Despite the fact that my budding spirituality has grown to be a very important part of my existence, I've kept all talk of spirituality and my faith to this section of my website, in essense I've made two distinct and seperate sites...both of which I happen to run. Even the link from the homepage into my spirituality pages is almost hidden, yet availible. Why have I done this? Who knows exactly. It's possibly that I wanted to keep the two subsites as their own animals. The main site is basically me being me. Funny, rude, stupid, annoying...whatever...it's my playground...my room basically. And like my room it's rather a mess...but it's still me. However...in these spirituality pages I'm exploring, and your coming with me damn it, another side of me that I often times keep to myself. I made it not only to show the world in part what I am, but also to try and maybe help anyone who is looking for the information and just can't find a reliable source. Or maybe they would like one site that will gateway them to other sites so it's easier to keep track of...who knows...but there it is.
Since this is a disclaimer/explanation page it would probably do to share a little more about myself in regards to this part of my site. As you may have already guessed (and if you haven't you must have been looking at a different site because it seems to me to be pretty obvious) that I'm a Pagan. More appropriately I'm a Neo-Pagan. If you're confused check out my definitions page for...well...definitions. For those too lazy to click over and click back...let me explain it a different way. I'm not Christian. Though I was born into a Christian family and raised as a Christian, over the last couple years I discovered that this is not who I am. I do not believe in a good 90% of what Christianity states or does. Looking back I realize now that I was never really Christian...I was always what I am (something I haven't totally defined for myself...but more on that later). Even my early belief systems that I made up for myself completely independent of spiritual beliefs reflected a Pagan outlook on life. It just took me a while to figure that out.
I officially define myself as a Solitary Eclectic Neo-Pagan (wow...more terms...keep referencing the definitions page). I used to call myself Wiccan (which is why most of this part of the site uses that term. I realized recently that that term limited who I really was a little too much, so I changed it (fancy that...changing things so easy). I still practice mostly under Wiccan beliefs, but I also incorporate things which are distictly not Wiccan in nature. In this I never stop learning and I don't limit myself to what I am or what I can become. I define it in this fashion. I don't know what I AM, but I do know what I am NOT. It leaves me open to explain to myself and others what exactly is a part of the AM and what is part of the am NOT. Confused yet? Good...there's still more to go.
I'm basically still in the proverbial "broom closet" as witches go. In other words I give no outward appearance of being a witch. Picture in your mind what you think a witch would look like. Yep...there's the black cloak, the staff, the wand, etc etc etc. I look nothing like that. In fact...were you to meet me on the street you wouldn't know to look at me that I was anything different from you. I don't even wear a talisman or pentacle like most of my kind do...at least not yet. If anything the only thing I resemble is a really tall, really hairy hippie. That's actually a good description. I look and dress as if I would be more comfortable hugging a tree then sitting in a board room or a major corporation (and that is true of me also). Now...I don't really do this to hide like some witches who fear the repricussions of being a witch in a world filled with witch-haters. This is just my nature. I blend...I fall into the scenery. This is who I am. Non-descript, I don't stand out much...even for a really tall really hairy hippie. And that's the way I like it. Now I'm not saying I'll stay in the broom closet forever. I'm just saying I don't need to flaunt it.
So what else is there to tell you? Well...a couple things. First off (and this fits in with the disclaimer idea)...this site is mostly my opinion and view of things and therefore is inherently biased. While what I've written here tends to go along with the majority of what others believe...there are some who would disagree with some of it...and that is their right. I don't care what you believe...I just hope you believe something. I'm even more then open to other's opinions about what I write (so you can e-mail me).
Also I feel the need to point out (and this goes back to knowing what I am NOT). I am not a Satanist. I know it's popular for non-Pagans to believe that anyone who isn't Christian is a Satan worshipper. It's simply not true. Satanists do exist...but they are not Pagans and they are most certainly not Wiccans...and they aren't even most witches (though some believe that there are Satanic Witches...this does not reflect on Witches in general...just those who happen to worship Satan). Satan is a Judeo-Christian construct, not a Pagan one. In fact...Pagans don't even believe Satan exists...and so it's a little hard for us to worship him. It would be like saying that you worshipped the Easter Bunny. Well...if you don't believe he exists...you can't worship him can you? It would also be like saying Christians worship the Buddah or that they worship the Hindu Goddesses Shiva or Kali. This is simply not true because Christians do not believe these deities exist...therefore they cannot worship them. SO...no true Pagan, Witch, or Wiccan worships or gains their power from Satan because to us...he just doesn't exist. Now that I've gotten that out of the way...you basically know where I stand. I hope this portion of my site...if nothing else...helps to dispell some of the myths and misinterpretations of what it is to be Pagan...what it is to be a witch. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a good person who would rather cut my own leg off then hurt anyone. They also know that I'm just like anyone else. I just believe in something a little different from your average Joe...and I practice magick on occasion. I worship a Goddess as well as a God and I don't try to convert people. That's another thing about most Pagan beliefs...there are no missionaries and prostlytizing is strictly prohibited...something Christians haven't figure out yet. There is no need to try and force others to believe as you do. Individuals will believe what they believe...and it will be different because individuals are by the nature of things...different. As as long as you don't hurt anyone...I couldn't possibly care less if you were Christian, Buddist, Hindu, Muslim, Wiccan, Shaman, Astaru, Druidic, etc etc etc. There is no one true religion...no one true faith. Divinity lies within you as well as without...and it's up to you to figure out how you want to find it....
Peace, Love, and Light to all who remain true to theirselves!