Chapter 14:  Guilt



�Paul broke up with you!  When, this morning?� Asked Cyn, sounding surprised.

Dot nodded in reply, and entreated us to come in.  I felt very uncomfortable and hesitated entering Dot�s room, but Cyn wasn�t having it. She just pulled me in along with her.  Dot must have been too distraught to notice me, because she didn�t even acknowledge my presence.

�Did he say why?� Cyn asked as we entered the room.

�He said it wasn�t working out anymore, and that he wanted to spend more time concentrating on the band.� Dot sobbed out. 

Paul had obviously lied to her, or at least left some things out.  When did being in a band stop him from having a girlfriend? If he truly wanted it to work out it would. You didn�t see John breaking up with Cyn.

�I�m so sorry, Dot.  Is there anything I can do to help you?� Cyn asked.

Dot just shook her sad head saying no.

While they were talking I was feeling terrible, I knew that in some way it was my fault that Paul had broken up with her.  I mean I knew he was already thinking about breaking up with her, he had told me so.  However he probably wouldn�t have done it this soon.

Cyn and Dot were still talking when I saw Cyn�s eyes stray to the bed.  There were suitcases full of clothes occupying the bed.

�Are you moving out?� Cyn asked in shock.

�Yes, I�m moving home to my parents house.  There�s no reason for me to stay here now,� She said trying not to burst into tears again. 

�Yes there is!  I�m here, and Anne will be moving in soon.  I can help you, and I�m sure Anne will too.� I feebly nodded.  �You can make it� Cyn said trying to convince her.

�But you have John and he�ll be over here all the time.  And then you�ll go to the Cavern or some other place and I�ll know I can�t go there anymore.  It�I�it�ll just be too much� Tears now streaming down her reddened face.

�Well if you�re sure.  I mean I can�t stop you, but I don�t want you to go� Cyn said and went to hug her.

�It�s for the best Cyn, and I�ll miss you too.  We just wont be able to see each other as much,� Dot said being extremely sensible considering the situation.

�Well if your really, really sure.� Dot nodded, and Cyn gave up the fight �Do you want me to help you pack?� she said sighing.

�No, my mum should be here soon, and I�m almost completely packed.� She went over to a writing desk and wrote something on a slip of paper. �Here�s my number.  Give me a ring, okay?�

�I promise I will, as long as you return the favor once in a while� Cyn went to hug Dot one more time, and I inched out the door leaving them to say their goodbyes. I was a horrible, horrible person.

A couple minutes later Cyn came out and we walked silently to her room. She unlocked the door and we stepped in.  The room was nice, but a little on the small side.

�Well, I guess there are now two rooms open, and both right next door to me� Cyn said, giving me a weak smile.

�I�m so sorry Cyn.  I can�t help but feel responsible� I expected her to be surprised at my statement, but it was me who was surprised.

�Oh, because Paul likes you?  Don�t be silly, this has been coming for quite a while�

�How did you know?� I said, partly ashamed and partly relieved.

�Am I blind?  Besides that John told me, oh and so did Paul�

�What!�

�Well, he didn�t come right out an say it. He knew that you had given me your room number, and he kept asking me to give it to him�

�And did you?� Hoping the answer was yes.

�Yes, I did.  That�s why I called you so early this morning.  I wanted to talk to you, before he could. And I wanted you to meet Dot, to see how you reacted to meeting her. Which you did well, you looked rightly ashamed.  Of course I had no idea that Paul had already broken up with her, or I never would have paraded you in front of her� She said looking me in the eyes.

I did feel ashamed, and was feeling very queasy.  Cyn sensed my discomfort.

�Don�t worry Anne. I still like you, I was just seeing if you were the right kind of girl for Paul.  Like I said before, Paul had been wanting to break up with Dot for a while now. I have known about it for a few months now�

�From John?�

�Yes, and from Paul.  You could tell he was just tolerating her.  Dot is a dear girl, but she isn�t right for Paul.  She is too sweet, and Paul needs someone to keep him in check sometimes.  I think you two will be great together.�

�Really?  You�re not angry with me?� I said fearfully.

�No, why would I be angry at you?  You�ve done nothing wrong, and Paul hasn�t really either.  Dot and him weren�t working anymore; it was time for them to break up. So come on let�s go� She grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door.  �The landlord should be back by now.�

I talked to the landlord, who was a very sweet elderly man and secured my room next to Cyn�s.  I didn�t take Dot�s even though it was a little larger, it would have been too creepy.

When I was through filling out paperwork, Cyn and I continued our shopping trip like nothing had happened.  Well, almost.  We did talk about it, but it wasn�t strained, I knew I could talk to her without her getting upset.

The shopping trip was a fruitful one.  I bought five new dresses and the underclothes to go with them.  The most important thing though was a hairdryer!  It was a little scary looking because it was enormous.  It was a bonnet attached to this big machine, it was kind of like a smaller version of those big dryers they have at salons.  However I was not going to complain, it was a hairdryer.

Cyn and I parted at the bus stop after shopping at the last store.  I was riding the bus because I was going to stay one more night at the hotel, but the boarding house was in walking distance for Cyn. 

We hugged and Cyn told me not to worry that everything would work itself out.  The bus came and took me back to the hotel. 

I walked into my room, and laid down on the bed exhausted from shopping and the events of the day.  My head had just reached the pillow when there was a knock at the door.

I reluctantly went to open it, not quite sure if I was ready for what was to come.

�Hello Paul,� I said before opening the door.
Chapter 13
Chapter 15
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