written by Tammy
Chapter 9
Madeline surveyed the long row of brick houses as she walked along the sidewalk. The neighborhood was quiet, neat and clean. A few children played with a jump rope and others were drawing on the sidewalk with chalk across the street. One waved at her and she waved back, sending a small smile with it. There was a serenity here that she envied. She stopped at the one with 543 detailed in gold paint on the glass over the door.
Yes, Claude was a clever man but fortunately he had, for the first time, made a mistake. Though it was a transparent one for him. Using the drop off at the coffee shop was a good idea but he was not suppose to be contacting them yet. That was her decision and hers alone. The moment had to be perfect. When it was most needed would be when it was used. And that had not yet occurred. Madeline was going to have to issue him a warning. Leaving without her permission and then having to find him due to his refusal to say to where were serious infractions to the rules. He had to have had a reason for it. She had a pretty good idea what...no..... who the reason was.
The porch of the house was bare except for a large planter that held a profusion of plants. A late season yellow-jacket flitted lazily among the few still viable flowers. She rang the doorbell and patiently waited.
As the doorbell rang Claude got up from his lunch, frowning. He heard Jerrod call in from the living room where he was reading. "Dad, want me to get it?"
"No, Jerrod." He stuck his head into the living room. "I've got it."
"Any pizza left?"
"On my plate."
"Oh, okay." He waited till Claude left the doorway and grinned. "Unguarded...you lose Dad."
Claude opened the door and stepped back as he recognized Madeline. "Madeline," he stammered.
She smiled warmly but it felt cold as it passed through Claude. "Hello Claude. How have you been? I missed our phone call last week. I was hoping nothing was wrong."
"Everything is fine." He wanted so much to just close the door in her face. Quickly he tried to remember where Katie was. She had been out back, playing with the older girl from the house behind them and their new puppy. She had mentioned something about eating dinner there.
"May I come in?"
"Yes...but of...sure. Come in. " He moved over and Madeline walked in. The large house suddenly didn't seem very big to him at all. Awkwardly he stood there, unsure where to take her. The kitchen put her closer to Katie, the living room to ... He heard the noise on the stairs at same time as Madeline did. His head and eyes snapped up as he saw the smile reappear on her face.
"Hello Annika."
Annie finished coming down the stairs and stood silently for a moment. She held Reese on her hip. He eyed the woman at the door from around the cup he was drinking. Annie debated what if anything to say to the creature who once again was invading her home and her existence. Her peace of mind once more tattered. Bitterness piled up in her throat. There were so many invectives she wanted to hurl, to show her anger and her hate. But there were children here. She was not going to have them hear her yell and cause fear. A long time ago she had made the promise that a child would not fear in their home. That promise had been injured in terms of Katie. She would not see it done again. So instead she inclined her head. "Madeline."
"It's been a long time. You look well."
"You do also. We seem to carry the time gracefully."
"Yes I agree. I take it this is Reese. May I?" Madeline held out her hands. Annie looked quickly to Claude whose eyes told her that there was no real choice at this point. Reese twisted away as Annie started to hand him over. He didn't know this person and it worried him. He looked with slightly watery eyes at Annie.
"Not mama. Ou Kay?"
Annie shot Claude another look which she hoped Madeline missed. Reese was looking for Katie and he didn't want to go to Madeline because she wasn't his mommy. Reese didn't like to be touched too much. He picked those he let and others he let know he didn't like it. Trying to be helpful, Claude said, "It's okay Reese." He was about to say that she wouldn't hurt him but the words stuck in his throat.
Madeline lifted the little boy into her arms and peered into his eyes, smiling rather melancholically. "Hello Reese. It is good to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you." Reese held himself stiffly away as he looked at her. He didn't like her, the look plain on his face. He shifted his eyes to the area just over Claude's right shoulder. A smile spread across his face. He lifted his arm behind his head and tossed the cup.
Jerrod caught it easily and gave it a quick flick at Reese. "Thanks Pieces but I don't like your juice. Got mine own." He held a soda can. Reese held out a hand.
"Reese some." He said clearly.
"Nope, soda's off limits for you."
"Bad! Ou Kay?"
"Playing with Callie and the puppy. Mom, can he go out to see the puppy?"
Annie shook her head. "No, he just had a bath and we have company." Besides it would only serve to draw in Katie. Jerrod and Reese had already said too much. Annie saw the careful study that Madeline gave Jerrod. He had little interest in her though and shrugged his shoulders as he took a drink of soda. Reese watched him expectantly.
"Madeline, this is Jerrod." Claude said carefully watching for Annie's reaction. She remained calm for the moment. He knew she saw Madeline as a threat but she was controlling herself. He could feel her aggression though, Annie wanted very much to have it out finally with her.
"Nice to see you again Jerrod. You are quite a bit bigger than the last time I saw you." So much bigger. You were only a few days old. Not even ready to really be born yet. Some decisions are so hard....
Jerrod gave her a quick smile. He didn't remember her face but he knew the name. "You work with Michael and Nikita. Nice to meet you." He pointed at Reese with the can. "But you've got your entertainment there. I'm going upstairs to read. Pizza was good, Dad. Later all." He thumped up the stairs and they could hear a door close.
Madeline looked back to Reese who was studying her intently now, his brows knitted together. The anger on his small face very clear. But it was easier to look at him than at the handsome boy who had stood behind Claude. He brought back more memories than she cared to acknowledge. Mentally shaking herself, she looked around for a moment. "Where's Willie?"
Annie came forward and took Reese from her. She hadn't missed the flick in Madeline's eyes. "He has a touch of the flu...just like he does every year at this time." She leaned in closely. "Remember, Jerrod is MY son. He had been since the day you had that woman leave him with us. Don't ever imagine anything else."
Claude saw Madeline's jaw-line tighten and he knew he had to defuse the situation. "Let's go into the living room and relax. Madeline..." He plucked Reese from Annie's arms. ".....here take Reese and get comfortable in the living room. We'll get something to drink." He guided Annie by the elbow to the kitchen. They could hear Reese's protests increasing in volume.
"That was a stupid thing to say!" he hissed at her once they were in the kitchen.
"I was making sure she remembered. She took Reese away from Michael and Nikita. She could take Jerrod."
"She doesn't have the guts. Think about it. What would the story be ?"
Annie's voice was sarcastic. "Oh I'm sure she'd have no trouble at all in taking care of that! I refuse to let him become like she is! Not one of them!"
"You forget Michael and Nikita are them too!"
"They're differ...." Annie started to say when the commotion outside the foyer cut her off. The front door slammed open and the sound of voices belonging to little girls filled the air. Claude stared at Annie who covered her mouth with a hand, tearing welling in her eyes. Madeline would know everything the instant she saw Katie. "Merde!" Claude groaned and hurried to the foyer as Reese sounded off.
"Kay! Kay!"
Claude was behind Katie just as she stopped at the entrance to the living room, Callie on her heels. "Hi, who are you?" He felt his heart dropping through the soles of his shoes as Madeline flashed a look at him before she focused on Katie. Reese had pulled himself up on the end table and stood there watching the scene solemnly. Somehow he sensed that something serious was going on .
Annie leaned down to whisper into Callie's ear. "I think you better head home, honey. Katie can play later, I promise." She ushered the little girl out the door and closed it. Her chest felt tight as she leaned against the door to watch Katie's profile in the living room door. The secret was out. Dread filled her as she wondered what was going to face Nikita and Michael when Madeline got back to Section. Claude might feel it prudent to move as soon as tonight.
"My name is Madeline." It surprised her how quickly the friendly expression disappeared from Katie's face. Her eyes darkened just like her mother's and the body bristled with vibes of dislike. Katie reminded her very much Nikita, even the blonde hair. It had been bobbed but was growing out, it would one day be long and straight like Nikita's.
Katie walked into the living room and picked up Reese. He threw his arms around her neck and hung on. Her eyes narrowing as she looked at Madeline, she held onto Reese tightly. This woman was the reason she and Reese were here and not with their mommy and daddy. Her being here made Katie feel very angry. This woman could come but they weren't allowed to. The unfairness made her furious.
This was Madeline. This was the woman that mommy and daddy worked for. She wasn't supposed to know about her. Daddy had said to keep secret many of the things he had told her that night. Katie's tone was harsh and it astonished Claude and Annie with her rudeness. "You better leave soon. I don't like you. You don't belong here. Our mommy and daddy does but you won't let them. You're gross and I hate you. I hope you die alone."
She started to plow passed Claude and Annie but stopped and looked up them. "You can yell at me later. I'm going up to my room. I don't want to be near her." She went up the stairs and left Claude and Annie looking at each other in shock..
Madeline cleared her throat and sat down on a chair. "Well, that went very good. She appreciates me as much as her mother does. I guess that old cliche about the acorn and the tree are true." She paused absorbing the bluster of Katie's words. "How long did you think you could keep her a secret for them? She was why you left before I told you to and why you refused to tell me where you were. You were hiding her from me."
"We were keeping her from being poisoned by that place. Michael wants her to have a chance at something normal. Just like he wants for Reese." Annie spat at Madeline.
"You had no right to keep her secret from me. You had a responsibility. You shirked it. You were under orders. You disobeyed!"
"Madeline, shut up!" Claude had stepped forward. He was not about to be lectured by her. He had taken on a huge burden after giving her the most important thing in his life. And this was how she was going to act? After everything he had done for her. Everything he and his family had been through for them. And now to be told about his responsibility and his duty. He felt they belonged first to Michael and to his own family. Section was very low on the list.
"Would you like to rephrase that, Claude?" Madeline stood up. He had never acted like this to her before. "I don't like your tone."
"As a friend says, deal with it. You listen, I have done everything you have ever requested of me. Damn it Madeline, 14 years ago I gave you and Section my world. What do you think I'd do? I grew up being his confidante, his second skin. He asked, I gave. That's the way it's always been. He took the worst beating ever because of me. The bastard almost killed him." Claude turned towards the window, a hand to his forehead.
Suddenly he twisted in place, his face contorted into a grimace. His voice was low and raw. "You think you know how he ticks. You think you know everything about him. You only know the half you helped create from the pieces you picked up. That and the parts you've pulled out of him since then. But there is more. A lot more."
He chewed on his lip for a moment. "I would do anything he asked of me. Whenever he asked. He asked for Nikita and Katie. I never even thought of saying no. I never have... You were suppose to help him. You told me you would. You would make things right for him. You'd make the bad go away for him. You never even tried. He isn't guilty of everything she told you about!!! There were times when he couldn't do what L' Araigne wanted him to do, when he crumbled into himself and retreated. I did them!! Have you ever heard him say he remembers the beginning and the end but never the middle. That's because he didn't do them, I did! He wasn't the one. You were suppose to make sure he knew that!! Why do you keep the lies going?"
"Claude, what are you talking about?" Annie grabbed an arm which he shoved off. She had always known that there was more between Claude and Michael than just a strong friendship. She had never been able to put her finger on it. Now she wasn't sure she even wanted the words said. A new side of Claude was coming out. Annie took a deep breath. No, she'd been this far, she would take it to the end. As Claude had said to her that night in bed after he had brought Michael and Nikita home....they were in too deep now to swim back.
"You may want to think about packing your bags Annie. I'm not Mr. Clean, I'm just as dirty as she is. So give you something to chew on there, Maddie? Give you a new perspective on things? He only did about half of what he thinks he did for L' Araigne. Half of what you believe!!! I have always tried to keep him safe. To do as he asked because I owed him my life and more than I can even begin to explain. He asked me to keep that little girl safe. To keep...his daughter safe and now his son too until he can bring them together with him and Nikita as a family. And I will die trying to do that if it's necessary." He stood tense and unflinching in front of her.
Madeline sighed and sat again. She looked at the floor. "Believe it or not I understand. I told you to do the same for another child. How could I expect you to do any less for him? I can't. You've known him longer than anyone in this life. I never did thank you for anything you done. I have always just demanded and expected you to do it. I need to make amends for that. Your service is terminated. I'll no longer be calling you for any help. There is only one thing I require of you. If you do this for me, I will make sure none of you will want for anything."
"Don't give me empty promises. I don't appreciate them. I don't need them either." He felt Annie's hand lace into his. He gripped it tightly and felt her squeeze back. "You can't give me anything that you can't take away at your whim. I don't want anything except for you to stay away. Leave my entire family in peace."
"Fine, for the most part you'll have it. But you need to do this one thing. Stay hidden. Keep them safe and away from others' eyes. All of them. Just when I ask, can you come to where I say? It will only be to bring Reese and Katie. Nothing else I swear." She looked from Claude to Annie. "I know it is probably impossible for you to believe. Just as I find it impossible what you've related to me about the past. Try to come up with another story for next time, OK? " This time she got up and walked past the two stunned people. "I will contact you when I need them." The door closed behind her.
"Does she mean we're free?" Annie said softly.
Claude went to the window and looked out at the slow walking figure that moved down the street. His face was neutral but Annie could hear the fear in his voice. " No, there's not such thing in Section one. Don't believe her. Madeline doesn't know truth, only lies and what they can get for her. We're going to have to go. About what I said..." He turned to look at Annie, only to find himself alone. Annie had already gone to pack. "I didn't lie" he whispered
As Madeline got into her car down the street, an enigmatic smile formed on her face. She knew very well that they would be gone by morning. Claude didn't trust her and he was perfectly right not to. The past few months had hardened her. The soft side that had started to emerge had been crushed by Oscar's manipulations and deceptions. Then swept away into the gutter when she realized how many of them had lied to her. Oscar said all of this had started because Martina had implanted Reese with a microchip that had the same directory in it that she had planted on Nikita.
Reaching into her pocket she pulled a PDA. A graph of spikes displayed on it. She looked out the windshield for a moment deep in thought, trying to remember the frequencies Birkoff had told her to look for. She snapped her fingers. The chip would give readings somewhere in the 50Hz area and the 2.5 GHz area imbedded in human tissue. Looking back down, she super-imposed normal readings over Reese's. They matched spike for spike. Her face tightened and she tossed the PDA into the empty seat behind her. Either Oscar was still deceiving her or Martina had played him like a well worn deck of cards.
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Christine looked up at the door slid open. Doyle walked in, a smile on his face. "Hi." she said. "Whatcha need?"
"To give you a thank you. And invite you for dinner."
"Why?" Christine got up and pulled x-rays down from the lightbox. He watched her walk back to the desk.
"For saving my butt from Michael." He ambled over and sat on the edge of her desk.
She shrugged. "Like I told you before...he would have stopped. Even though he was mad."
"Maybe, maybe not. Sorry I hit you. I was a little out of my head."
"Forgiven. Just remember I like to stay in control of mine." Doyle reached out and ran a finger down her cheek and to her lip. Christine pulled back. "Don't do that."
"I was just checking to make sure I didn't do any lasting damage. It doesn't feel like I did." He smiled at her, making sure she was looking into his eyes.
Standing up, Christine pulled her clinic jacket on and steadied herself. "Sorry but I'm otherwise engaged this evening. Was there anything else you needed?"
"Whoa, close the freezer door. It's getting real chilly in here. What do you mean 'sorry'?" He stood with her, reaching out a hand again which Christine ducked away from.
"I have something else I'm doing tonight. I will have to decline your invitation." And on that note she left the room. A cocky grin crossed Doyle's face. She was going to be interesting.
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Raymond concentrated hard but he was unable to leave the room of white where he had first encountered Nikita. He was sure this was where he should be. He had felt a pull and been fairly certain that it had come from her. Michael was asleep at the table but he had not been overtly dreaming. With a dissatisfied smile, he stood up from the bed and studied Nikita.
The blanket fell from Michael's shoulders as the dream started. He tried to pull away from the invisible hands but they pulled him in anyway. His wants here were never important. Almost like being awake. He closed his eyes tight but the noises, the smells and the images were still there. He couldn't hide, he couldn't stop it, he could only wait it out as always.
"Donnez-moi une petite cle`
S'il vous plait
Pour ouvrir la porte au soleil.
Donne-moi une petite cle`.
Je vous prie
Pour fermer la porte a` la pluie
Une cle` qui fait clic
Une cle` qui fait clac."
The two small children held hands and splashed in the mud puddle in front of a small cottage as they sang the song together. The boy had cinnamon brown hair and intense green eyes. The girl had medium brown hair and brown eyes the shade of soft fresh dirt. They ended each line with their feet stomping in the muddy water. They were wet and splattered with mud. The smell of lilacs was everywhere. Spring was revealing herself in all her glory. "Michel!! Paige!! Allons c'est immediatement!!!" A tall woman with her long reddish brown hair tied in a pony tail came out the front door. She shook her head and said, "Ughh!! Mon Dieu!! Vous regards!! Que vous ferais!! Je n'ai pas le temps pour vos espieglerie!! Vos pere ici serat bientot. Maintenant allons!!" They laughed and shouted happily. Papa would be home soon. He would not be pleased about the mud but then Papa did not stay mad for long. Mama did not either. She liked to smile too much to stay angry at anyone. Not matter what kind of mischief you caused.
The boy pulled on the hand of the girl trying to get her out of the puddle and instead to run towards the cottage. Suddenly there were screams, the sounds of gunfire, people running to and fro. The small house was in flames. The boy stood frozen in the midst of the chaos. His hands were clasped over his ears and his mouth was open in a scream of his own. The girl huddled on the ground, at the feet of the screaming boy, screaming as he was with her hands clutching his leg. A figure in blackish green grabbed the small boy and ran into the smoke with him. A man in grayish white grabbed the girl and shouted after the running figure. Above the dim, the child screamed for his mother.
Slowly Michael approached the burning cottage, through the smoke he could see a tall figure with long blonde hair. He reached out a hand, amazement on his face. He tried to go to her. Then a figure appeared on the ground in front of him. He knelt beside her. It was the woman who had come out of the cottage before it had exploded in flames. Her eyes were staring blankly and her forehead was covered with clotted blood. A man with features similar to Michael's crawled towards him through the smoke. His words echoing eerily above all the noise. "Mon fils! Pour quoi?" Another figure took shape from the first. "Poltron! Sans valeur! Es un faible! I will take your heart! I will take your soul!" With the last word he disappeared. Michael swung around.
Tears streamed down his face. He looked down as he felt clawing at his leg, The little girl pulled at his pants. "Don't you love me, Michael? Why did you not come for me? Pourquoi d'me ne cherches pas? Pourquoi Michel? Pourquoi? J'ai la frousse mon salopard de frangin. Te soucieres? No because you don't know how? You'll never know how!" The girl started to hammer his shin with the small fists, blood-curdling screams came from her lips. He looked up in time to see the figure from the ground pull a knife across the throat of the blonde figure as he pushed her out of the smoke and to the mud. Michael lunged forward screaming.
Michael stood from the chair with a yell. It crashed to the floor pulling Raymond from the room where Nikita laid. "NO! NOOO!!! KITA!!!"
Raymond was able to catch him just as his knees buckled. Warily he lowered Michael to the floor. His eyes were wide but Raymond doubted he was seeing anything but the images of his dream. The whimper was soft, like a child not wanting anyone to hear him. It sounded full of fear and pain. Michael began to tremble as he lifted a hand to touch the edge of the table. "NO!" burst out of him in a scream. He flew to his feet, staggering back against the sink, a hand to his mouth and another searching frantically for something along his waist band.
Cautiously Raymond stood. Michael was now awake but not fully cognizant of where he was. "Michael, are you alright? Do you want me to get you something?" He held a hand, palm up and fingers lax, outstretched towards him. Then he did the same with the other. "Do you remember where you are? Do you know who I am?"
Easing himself along the cabinets, Michael watched the man in front of him. He swallowed hard and tried to control the shaking of his body. "Get away from me....Don't hit me anymo......" He stopped and ran a hand over through his hair as he looked around.
Then Raymond saw something he hadn't seen in many years of practice. It was almost as if Michael had pulled another face from his pocket and slipped it on. All fear was gone. All the confusion also. His eyes and face were blank. All in less than a second. He stood straight and pushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear. A brief look was cast at Raymond and then he looked towards the bedroom before he started around the table. "Pardon the outburst." Michael refused to meet Raymond's eyes.
Grabbing a piece of paper, he shoved it at Michael. "Sit and do it now."
"What?" He looked down at the paper Raymond had crumbled against his chest.
"Sit and draw them now. Try it. I want to see you do it. Your parents and your sister right now. Sketch them."
With his face still neutral, he grabbed the paper and the chair. He set it up right and took the pencil Raymond held out. He quickly sketched 3 heads with hair, one smaller than the rest. Raymond pointed to that one. "Why is this one smaller than the other two?"
"It's my sister. I haven't seen her since she was 7. In my dreams when I see her she is only that old." His voice was tight and strained, the pencil held at an angle to the paper. He studied the shapes for a moment and picked the first one. Raymond watched. Michael's expression didn't change but the eyes grew darker. The muscles along the jaw tighten somewhat. He drew a broad thick line through the first one. Then he tried the second. The eraser managed to eat through the paper to the table top.
Michael's expression then began to change. Raymond could see the anger and the frustration rising. He went to the third. He hesitated, as if unsure where to start. He got a chin formed and part of a nose, then stopped. He started again, then put down the pencil. He looked over at the top of the table on the other side. Then his eyes shifted to the window. "I can't. They're blank."
"You can't or you won't?" Raymond pulled the paper out from under Michael's hand. "I think it's cause you won't." He slammed it face down on the table in front of Michael's hands. "Because you're afraid. They're the past and you're afraid to confront the past. "
He stood shoving the table forward and the chair backward at the same time. His eyes blazing and teeth clenched together, words hissed from his lips. "I said I can't!"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time. I still don't believe you. What do you feel when you try to draw them?" There was no response. "I asked you a question."
"I don't have an answer."
"What did you feel when it happened?"
"I don't remember."
"How do you feel when you're having a dream, Michael? What about this one?"
"Sometimes fear. Sometimes pain. Usually nothing at all." It was a lie and Raymond knew it. Michael was holding back.
"Don't lie to me and don't lie to yourself. There are no sometimes. How do you feel in your dreams? Give me some respect Michael by not lying to me. This is your chance to express yourself. I'm not going to take something away because you admit to not being sure of yourself or afraid. I'm trying to give you back to yourself. You think you're heartless, soulless? Help me to get it back to you. She can't do all the work herself. I won't let her!! She needs some too! You want the future? You work at it! It doesn't come free of charge!"
Michael scowled at Raymond. The words hurt because they were true. "Helpless. Powerless. I can only watch. I can't stop it."
"How often do you have this dream that you just had?"
"What does that matter?"
"Answer me! I can't help you like I can others. You're too closed. I felt something but I thought it was Nikita. You've got a brick wall around you that's a mile thick. Knock the damn thing down! How often do you have the dream you just had?"
"3 or 4 times a week."
"Same night or different nights?"
"Different."
"Does it change?" Again the silence. "Does it change?" Still no answer. He grabbed the front of Michael's shirt. "Answer me!"
Michael knock the hand away. "No!"
"Tell me what happens in it."
"I can't."
"Yes you can, you're too afraid."
"I'm not afraid of a dream. It's not real."
"But it was real at one time, wasn't it?"
"Yes, parts." The response was soft and edged with regret.
"What happens in that dream?" He watched as Michael's expression changed, as if he was turning his emotions off.
"As an adult I watch Paige and I as children playing in a mud puddle. Mama comes out, yells at us because we are all dirty. Papa is coming home soon and she wanted us to stay clean. I try to pull Paige towards the house. Suddenly there are all these people running around."
"You're shutting down! Shutting me out! Stop it! Can you see your mother in your dream? What about your sister? What do you feel?"
"Yes. I'm scared, confused, powerless. I want to stop things. No more..." He tried to pull away.
"The rest of the dream!" Raymond refused to move. He had to get in somehow.
Michael took a deep breath. "There is gunfire and an explosion. There is a figure at my feet. It is my mother, she's dead....her forehead bloody. Then my father is crawling towards me, asking me why. Then he becomes Philippe. Berates me. Says he'll take my heart, my soul. Then he disappears. Paige is at my feet asking why I never looked for her and how scared she is, that I never cared about her because I don't know how. Then I see Philippe through the smoke and he has Nikita and he cuts her throat, throws her to the ground. I try to get to her but I can't. Then I wake up screaming. Most of the time I don't know where I am. There is only the dream."
"What do you think is the meaning of this dream?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do. You just told me."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. You said it never changes. You try to get to Nikita but you can't. Everything is taken from you or disappears in this dream. You are powerless to stop or change any of it. Why? Because in real life you couldn't either. You weren't to blame for any of it! Your father asks you why .... he wants to know why you still reliving it and blaming yourself. They don't blame you. They never did. Someone came up with that idea and planted in your head, where it would have a fertile place to grow. It's your control mechanism and you perpetuate its viability every chance you get. Some people are controlled by power, others greed, some lust, you it's guilt. It's noose around your neck and shackles on your hands and feet. Take back your life by not letting them have control over your head anymore. Control this one dream and the rest will follow. Control the guilt and forgive yourself. Let go of it! Then you'll have your life. Just the way you want it."
"Words," Michael said softly. He pushed past Raymond and closed the bedroom door behind him. He leaned his forehead against the door as the darkness enveloped him. He could hear his mother's voice, saying how much she and Papa loved him. "I can't stop blaming myself. I was weak. I was wrong. It was all my fault...." He slid silently to the floor, it was darker there and safer. Maybe Raymond was right. But then again, maybe he was wrong. Wondering caused pain and he was sick and tired of hurting all the time. Why couldn't anyone understand that?
Taking a deep breath, he got to his feet again and went over to the bed. Nikita still had not moved much since he had laid her there this morning. Going around, he got in bed next to her and leaned against the headboard staring into the darkness around the bed. "I have to take you back." He looked over at the still figure beside him. "They'll come for us if I don't."
Chapter 10
Restless and unable to sleep, Michael had long ago abandoned the bed and stood next to the window staring at the dark trees. He had already decided what to tell Operations. The loss of the car had not been avoidable. He had traveled the road himself and had felt unsure in the daylight. The impression would be made that in the dark in a high performance vehicle that was being driven for the first time....
Unfortunately, he could hear the sarcastic comment that Operations would make. That she shouldn't have had the car if she couldn't handle it. The fact that they had found almost 2,000 pound moose about 10 feet from the car would not have any bearing. There was another fact that he had not yet started to consider either. When they had lowered the car unto the lot at the garage, brake fluid had run off the lift. Yes, there was under chassis damage. It had rolled a number of times down the side of the ravine. But this car was meant to take damage. Not only was it based on the car Ferrari drove in Grande Prix races but they had modified it once they got it.
The fluid only said one thing to him. Someone sabotaged the car. She might have been speeding but she was a good driver and there should have been no problem stopping the car. All right perhaps she might have sideswiped a few trees, even he could have done that . As he thought back to the road, he tried to remember tire marks or something that said she had tried to stop and made a mistake doing it. He could recall nothing. The deputy had remarked on it as well. He thought the lines might have been cut by something.
He sighed as a thought he had tried not to give credibility to intensified. Jon Jae had left a sign. He would resurface and it would be to cut through the heart of Michael's life. Just as he felt Michael had done to him. It would not be beyond him to make the attempt, but this soon? No, he hadn't brooded enough yet. Perhaps it was meant as a warning instead. That he wanted what that knife and bracelet implied not to be ignored or forgotten. Would he strike like that though? How would he have known where and when? It meant that there was another leak in Section One. He smirked as he heard Nikita's voice in his head.
"Time for a good plumber around here. The chewing gum isn't holding anymore."
Michael looked over to the bed. He could barely make her out on the bed. Once it was light they were leaving. He had to get her back to see Christine. He had allowed himself to be delayed long enough. It had been foolish to give into the whim to stay and listen to the old man. He shook his head. Raymond was far from old. He was the same age it seemed as Operations. But the fact still remained. A mistake had been made. One that could mean that she would be like this....
The door opening brought him out of his dark thoughts. Raymond stood in the dim light coming from the main room. "You're still awake."
"I'm not tired."
"What's this 'someday'?"
"Why are you asking that?"
"She screamed it the first time I had contact with her. When I dozed off on the couch, I was with her. That's where she thinks she is. She's decided it's real. Nikita is extremely happy and content. She has everything she has ever dreamt about. A husband she is very much in love with and who feels the same about her. A family that is happy and whole; safe and solid. Right now her reality is you, the kids, Christine and Simon as a family. It's going to be difficult to reach her. If not impossible. If this doesn't work, you will need to get her back to that place as fast as possible. A doctor may be what's needed."
Swallowing past the sudden dryness in his throat, Michael answered quietly, "For her, 'someday' is when Section is over and done. When we are free and together with the children. It's a dream she holds onto very tightly. I wish I could say the same. Lately, it is too far away for me to believe in it. She is more comfortable with those dreams and hopes. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable with all of it. Nothing fits like it should, nothing at all. " His voice was low and Raymond could hear the sadness in it. But for now he was more worried about the woman on the bed. For him, that's where the discomfort was coming from now.
"You live by water in a cabin? She has spent a lot of time there?"
"Yes."
"That's where she thinks she is. For her it has been a couple of weeks, for us a few hours. At first she thought things were not right but that is something she has tried to put at the back of her mind. She wants to enjoy this happiness, it's something she's been longing for. For her, most of the day was spent with the children. She is waiting for you to come home and is a little worried because you are late. She is also worried about your sister, Christine. There is a problem with the pregnancy. Simon is afraid and that is worrying Nikita. She wants you home just in case."
Looking over at the bed again, he could see her more clearly. Raymond's words echoed in his head along with his own dark thoughts. Mistakes had taken Simone and Merle. They had almost taken Nikita away from him twice before. Too often he had let the past and fear impact and endanger those around him. It was time he started taking some of the control back that everyone seemed to think he possessed. Time to take back how he used to be because what he was now wasn't working. She had thought him fragmented before. If she only really knew how at loss he felt.
In one swift movement he was at the bed and lifting her into his arms, Raymond stopped his motion with both of his hands clamping down onto Michael's upper right arm. "What are you doing?"
"No more delays. No more how to make Michael whole. Too many have tried for too long. It hasn't worked. I'm done being everyone's work-in-progress. Right now the only thing that matters is getting her back to Section. Christine needs to look at her."
"I need to help you two. There are things that need to be done. Any transition at this point is going to be extremely difficult for you both."
"Unfortunately, that is nothing out of the ordinary for our lives." With a gentle twist, Michael stepped around him and left the room. Raymond followed, visibly agitated.
"You don't know how to reach her. You can't even reach yourself. How the hell do you expect to help her?"
Michael stopped at the closed front door. "Open it!"
"Michael....the two of you need to move forward, get beyond the past. Not just in your dreams but in reality too. You've got to say good-bye to all of it." Raymond knew he was fighting a losing battle with keeping them at the cottage and it brought a desperate tone to his voice. A tone that was not lost on Michael but one which he knew in everyone's best interest had to be
ignored.
The chill of his next words ripped through Raymond and made him swiftly open the door. "Then let me start right here, Doctor. You have just become a portion of the past I am choosing to say goodbye to. If you wish to see your own future, do not make me put her down to open the door. You will regret it. I certainly will not."
The light from the car outlined them as Michael settled her in the car. The blank mask was back on his face as Raymond watched. As the troubled young man was about to get into the vehicle, Raymond gave one more thing to him to think about. "If you ever want to put the dreams to rest Michael, put them to rest. Say goodbye to those who have been lost and the past. Otherwise you don't stand a chance."
"I never thought I ever did" came the bitter retort as the car door closed loudly and then disappeared down the gravel road . Raymond hung his head. Failure and other spirits laughed at him from the deep shadows that crept close again as the car lights faded away.
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"No, he's fine. But I'm not going to lie to you, Chris, he's scared. Can you blame him? He loves you and the baby. He doesn't want anything to happen to his family. "
Nikita switched the phone to her other ear and pulled the pillow tight up to her chest. Christine sounded alone and upset. "Did you see him today? He said you were going to bring the kids over and work on the nursery."
"Oh we did. Brought him a bowl of raspberries too. Reese insisted. Made him sit and eat them too. I like the colors you picked. That light teal and white look great."
"Kita, thank you for helping. I know it probably hurts."
Nikita shrugged. "Like Annie says, if it happens, it happens. I'm not going to let it get to me. It's not bothering me at all. OK? Nuts...." She tossed the pillow onto the bed and tossed back the sheet.
"What's wrong?"
"I left the last bucket of berries out on the deck by the door. If I don't do something with them, then every raccoon for miles, along with their striped buddies is going to be hanging out here for dessert." She started down the stairs.
"Will Michael be home soon?"
"I think so." She looked at the microwave as she walked into the dark kitchen. "The plane was suppose to land about 2 hours ago. He could have been bumped and since we've been on the phone for an hour and Katie was on it before that, he might not have been able to get through. Listen...it's late. You need the rest. Go to sleep."
"OK sis, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for being there. Love you."
A smile spread across Nikita's face. "Got to keep things even Steven. I'll have him stop over tomorrow and see you. Love you too. 'night." She hung up the phone and set it on the island. Flipping on the light over the sink, she cautiously opened the sliding glass door. There was a chittering sound and the sounds of an animal on the wooden deck. The light from the kitchen reflected 3 pairs of eyes at her from the far end of the deck.
"Go pick your own." She grabbed the bucket from besides the door and closed it tightly, locking it. The berries had not been an excuse to get off the phone. The raccoons and skunks had been plentiful this year and she didn't want to entice them to visit. Katie liked to sleep with the window open, only the screen keeping the outside where it belonged. It would not take a lot of effort on a raccoon's part to figure out how to open a flimsy screen.
It didn't take long to finish up the berries and put them away. They would be good with breakfast in the morning. As she closed the refrigerator she noticed the calendar hung on the front. A frown spread over her lips. It had been about a month since she had woken up on the kitchen floor. And still she hadn't had any luck remembering the time between crashing the Ferrari that night and waking up to Reese screaming. It was a complete blank. Chris had been really worried so Nikita played dumb and acted like everything was fine. The only one who knew the truth was Simon. Going back to the sink, she turned the water on, rinsing it out, still deep in thought.
Simon had somehow known she was covering and confronted her about it. As usual he had proven to be a good friend and filled in a lot of the gaps for her. Then it hit her. As she realized the date she recalled something Simon had told her. The twelfth was coming up in a week. It would be her and Michael's second anniversary. That meant that tomorrow was the second anniversary of Section One putting disbanded.
That also meant that Seymour would be calling just to touch base and remind everyone he was still human and not yet a computer game. Though Simon at times had expressed doubts which had earned him nasty messages on his office system if it was usable at all. There had to be bribes and apologies before he was up and running again. Maybe she could convince him to leave that damn lab of his to come see Chris. As much as he used to drive them all nuts, he and his snack collection were missed. Darcie would love to see him too. She still carried a big torch for him.
Colanders are the worst thing to wash.... Nikita almost jumped out of her skin as two arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. Hands slipped under the material of her satin top and caressed the skin underneath. A voice whispered in her ear. "You appear to be a little wet. Ummm...Tell me something, mon cherie, is your husband home? Perhaps you are lonely...."
A warm mouth slid down the side of her neck to her shoulder. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and leaned into him. She gave a light slap to the hand that started slipping up from its resting spot on her stomach. "He should have been home an hour ago. But since you're here I guess you'll do. It would be nice to have a house-boy upstairs to help warm up the sheets before I get in."
Her answer was a growl against her shoulder and a hard hug. "If somebody hadn't been on the phone all night..." His tongue traced little circles over her skin. She bit her lower lip to keep from moaning. He still could make her head swim, even after the length of time they had been together.
"That was your daughter. I'm taking her to the doctor to have that phone removed from her ear. I think it's attached somehow."
"Do you think I could get attached to you?" Michael's hand started sliding up again and she pulled it away. He gave a little moan as Nikita pushed him back with an elbow. Disappointment was clear on his face until he understood that she only wanted to turn around to face him. A smile pushed the unhappy little boy look away as he tightened his grip again. "I don't like traveling without you."
Draping her arms around his neck and playing with some of his hair she gave him a small kiss on his mouth. "And I don't want them pulled out of school as often as you go away." Watching the expression that played across his face, she tugged playfully on a lock of hair. She didn't understand that smirk. "What was the smirk for?"
"Thinking about what was going on in our lives at this time 2 years ago and then listening to you complain about me going to Paris, Katie constantly on the phone and pulling the kids out of school. The difference is amazing. I can't believe how much has happened and how good it's turned out. You know what tomorrow is, don't you?" He pressed her up back against the sink cabinet.
"Two years." She shivered as he brought up a hand and slid his thumb across her lower lip. Pulling her head away, she tried to quell the response she wanted to give. She knew the action caught his attention. She could feel it in the way his body tensed.
"What's wrong? Did someone call, come by?" Michael's voice held deep concern and worry filled his eyes. Nikita knew he still feared someone showing up at the door or the voice that might be on the other end of the phone. She still carried the fear herself and faced it down every morning when she woke up. Only there was something extra in hers. The fear that this was all a dream that she was going to wake up from. And she was quite sure if that happened, it would break her heart.
"No....they put.... admitted Chrissy yesterday." She watched as worry started to mix with fear and sadness.
"Is she and the baby ok? What happened?" Nikita could hear the dread in Michael's voice and knew old painful memories were turning over in his head.
"Yes, she had a check-up yesterday. Her pressure was dangerously high and she was just starting to go into labor. Complete bed rest and 24 hour care till her due date."
Michael chuckled a little though his face still told her he was worried. "She will go stark raving mad in 3 days. They expect her to last almost 8 weeks in there? That place drives her crazy enough as a doctor, wait till she is on the receiving end. Did someone check her for weapons before they admitted her?"
Nikita gently popped his chin with a closed fist. "Don't pick on your sister like that. She's not here to defend herself. Si could use a friendly face or two until this is all over with. He asked Darcie to run things for him till this is said and done."
Tilting her head, he gave her a long kiss. With a small sigh she broke it and laid her head against his shoulder, her mouth pressed to the side of his throat. A smile played on her lips, He always smells so good. As he started to speak, she placed small kisses on the spot, enjoying the feel of his voice through the skin. "Do you think she'll be ok with all that? Claude could probably help.
Do you want me to ask him?"
"She helped Simon start it. She knows the ropes. Though it is a lot of work. We can check with them tomorrow. See what they say." Her voice trailed off as she started to put other kisses along his jawline. "What are you wearing? You taste salty."
He laughed at the comment. "Peanuts, what else? I was on a plane." Michael pulled her head back slightly so he could kiss her again. This time his kiss didn't say hello. It was hungry and demanding. He kissed her cheek and then the area below her ear to her neck. Softly he said "And you taste like raspberries."
A hand had slipped up her skin again and made her catch her breath. "The kids..."
"Are asleep?" He pushed the spaghetti strap of her top off her shoulder with his tongue. Without realizing it, she had released his neck and had been working on unbuttoning his shirt.
"Uh-huh," she answered absentmindedly, her attention more on his hands than what he was saying. "Michael, stop....leave...stop...ahhh...wait....please...."
"Why? It's just us...10 days is too long." His eyes glittered and it made her smile.
I love that look he gets. Turned on and in love with me....with only one thought on his mind. "You've been keeping count?" Having pulled his shirt free, she began to loosen his belt.
"Yes." He shrugged his shirt off and it dropped to the floor. Unfastening his belt, she started to work on the button of his pants. He pulled away a little, a teasing smile on his face. Catching both her hands in his, he brought them up to his chest and pressed them palm first against his skin.
Pouting a little, she looked at him with a mock worried expression. "What's wrong?" He shook his head and reached over to grab an end of the lace that kept her tap pant set top closed. The satin tie loosened easily and slid from its loops. It started to fall open and she snatched a hand back to stop it but was blocked by his.
"Stop, let it do what it wants." His voice was getting huskier and while his eyes still glittered, she noticed that they had gotten darker. She let a knowing sly smile curve her lips and answered the look in those eyes with her own. It earned her a swift yank hard against him. "Don't look at me like that or you'll be sorry. We won't make it upstairs." He tried to kiss her but she avoided his mouth.
"I thought you weren't worried about the kids. They're asleep remember?" This time he was able to kiss her, hard and hungry. His tongue demanded a response which Nikita readily gave.
He suddenly jerked away making her catch her breath. His words were hushed. "You're right...the kids...you do get a little loud." Michael moved swiftly away from her and slipped up the stairs that ran to the back of the studio.
For a moment she stood in shock, feeling slightly insulted. Then the smile flashed back into place. "You son of a ...." She followed him quickly, knowing full well he was probably laying in wait for her at the top. He wouldn't be able to hide though she had let the light on the nightstand on. At least she thought she had. When she got to the top of the stairs it was completely black.
Cautiously she moved to the other end. Nikita could sense him but locating exactly where he was proved difficult. Her ability to locate something in the dark had dulled with the time out of Section. "Where are you smart aleck?" She felt his nearness the instant he tackled her. Though she hadn't realized how close she was to the bed until he dumped her on the mattress face first. A shiver ran through her as he teased her ear with his mouth and pressed down against her now bare back. In the tackle and playful struggle, her top had slipped totally down to her waist, leaving her back exposed.
"You lose." He whispered as he kissed her ear before moving across the back of her neck pushing the hair out of his way. She couldn't stop the long moan as his tongue now traced the curve of her spine to just below her shoulder blades and across. His hands gently kneaded her shoulders, getting rid of the tension she carried there.
"I don't think either of us is going to lose tonight. Oh, God, that feels good...." she groaned as his tongue slid back up and he continued to massage her shoulders. After a few kisses to the back of her neck, he rolled her over, catching the hands that came up to wind around his neck. He forced them down to the mattress on either side of her head.
His mouth was lightly against hers as he said thickly, "Good is just a start." His kiss kept her from making any other comment.
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Nikita gently smacked Michael across the face with the pillow. "You are a beast!" She hit him again with it as he halfheartedly defended himself. He laid flat on the mattress while she straddled him. The pillow was once again held above her head in a threatening gesture.
"Admit it, you snot!"
"I did not!" She smacked at him again, only to have the pillow ripped out of her hands. He grabbed the front of the t-shirt she wore and yanked her forward and down. She braced herself on either side of his head, her hair falling down over the both of them.
"I was here, an eye and ear witness."
"Bull..." Nikita was interrupted by a long kiss. She relaxed her arms and snuggled against him, playing with his hair as they kissed. The sliding wood door at the bottom of the back stairs thudded open. "Uprising ahead." she whispered and then realized what she said and how she was laying on him. Laughter spilled out of both of them as they exchanged quick kisses between the chuckles.
"Alright who did it? Who let him watch Bill Nye again? And you two...yuck!" Katie folded her arms across her chest and stood next to the bed. One foot tapped impatiently on the floor and several fingers mimicked her foot.
Michael pushed Nikita's hair out of the way and looked over at Katie. "Enjoy the fact that your father loves your mother so much. You're lucky." He kissed her again.
Katie made a face at him and rolled her eyes. Nikita relaxed against him and laid her head on his chest just beneath his chin. With a content look on her face, she looked over at their daughter. "Don't say it either Mom, I see the comment in your eyes." It was Nikita's turn to roll her eyes as she felt Michael smother a laugh. Katie could be sensitive sometimes, especially in the morning.
"What's wrong, Miss Shrew?" Nikita squelched the response to Michael's pinch on her left hip. She'd get him back later. Katie understood her mother's warning and relaxed her stance a bit.
With a dramatic sigh though, Katie pronounced the problem. "The mad scientist struck again. Anything liquid in the refrigerator has been victimized! He's such a little brat. I ought to go bang a frying pan over his head." She stomped her foot as Michael and Nikita both tried not to laugh. "Mom, there's ketchup in the milk and I think it was horseradish sauce in the orange juice. At least that's kinda what it tasted like. I wouldn't touch the ice tea at all. The Tabasco sauce bottle was laying empty next to it."
Nikita opened her mouth to reply when Michael placed his palm against it. "Excuse me. I seem to recall a story from earlier this week where a certain mom came home from work to find her daughter on the phone, as usual, in her room with the door shut. Her little brother who she was suppose to be babysitting was in the game room with the TV on. And I think I was told he was watching PBS ....Now this was about 3:30 in the afternoon. What do you think he was watching?" He waited for a response with a raised eyebrow as Nikita rolled off of him and he sat up. "Katrina, an answer?'
Knitting her eyebrows together she scowled at him. "But it was an important phone call!!!"
"Not as important as watching your brother. He could have decided to go out on the deck or worse." Nikita kept her voice stern, following Michael's pattern. A united front worked best with Katie. She was too able to use both ends against each other if she sensed a weakness.
Katie gave another dramatic sigh. "Oh I give up! OK, I messed up. Geesh...can you pleeeaassee do something about him. He's a vandal!"
"I'll talk to him again. Or would you prefer threats?" Michael kept his voice neutral even though Nikita could see he was close to losing his battle with not laughing. Especially when Katie's eyes and face lit up at the idea of threats.
"Oh, Dad! Threats would be great! Can you please?!" She turned and ran as Michael hurled a pillow at her.
"Brat!" He yelled after her as she disappeared down the stairs. Nikita started to snicker. "I have a question." He stretched his arms above his head.
"Yeah?" She stood up from the bed, gathering her hair up for a ponytail. A broad smile curled her lips and she felt very happy.
"Tell me how in the world we ended up with Dr. Frankenstein and Sarah Bernhardt reincarnates as children."
They laughed together as she leaned down and gave him a kiss. "The angels adored us too much so the Devil decided to get back at us. That's how. I'm going down to make breakfast. Take your shower so I can have mine afterwards, OK?"
"D'ac. T'aime."
"T'aime aussi. Don't use all the hot water either!" he tossed behind her as she started for the backstairs. Her answer was the closing of the bathroom door. A impish smile replaced the broad one on her face. "Actually I think I'll start the laundry first...."
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Michael looked over at Nikita's still form for at least the 100th time since he had started driving. He had hoped and prayed she would come to by the time they got back to Section One. As usual, his hope hadn't bore any fruit. The motion of the car had made her curl against the door, her eyes seemingly focused on the air vent. He wondered what those eyes were seeing. They appeared so lifeless. He desperately want to know what was going on in her head. As he turned the corner onto the boulevard for the museum he noticed the car behind him. It was now light enough for him to make out the driver.
And that driver turned out to be Raymond. Silently cursing, he pulled up to the gate and waited. There was a creak and then it swiftly maneuvered open far enough for him to get the car in. It closed just as quickly. As the car moved down the ramp into the secured parking, he looked out the rearview to see, Raymond's car stopped at the gate. Though he couldn't see him, he could feel the man's eyes on him. Something was going to have to be done. Michael wondered if Raymond knew he probably gotten himself cancelled.
He was out of the car before Scotti could even finish coming out of his booth. He lifted Nikita out of the car to come face to face with wide eyes. "What the hell happened to her?" Scotti asked loudly.
"There was an accident. Let Christine know I'm coming down. There is a man at the gate...."
"You mean the one who looks like an Indian?"
Michael nodded solemnly. "Yes, have him brought in. White room and I would prefer he not be seen by anyone until I give the OK. That includes Madeline or Operations. Get rid of his car." He had walked to the elevator while he was talking and the doors closed on his last word. He placed his cheek against the top of her head. "We're back....home."
He emerged from the elevator into the transport area. The hallway was empty and it made him frown. He had hoped they would meet him there. With a angry gesture he hit the lift button for the next elevator. That one let him onto the main floor. He could hear the commotion as the doors opened.
"Michael's on his way. He's got Nikita and she's gonna need Christine."
"Pick up! Main gate! Move it!"
Christine appeared in front of him like a magician appearing out of a puff of smoke. He put Nikita on the gurney and stood back as Christine began to examine her. Once again, I've brought her back to this prison. I keep dragging her back because I can't cut either this place loose or her. Why can't I just let her go? Release her and let her be free. One way... Christine's sharp tones to her orderly and at Nikita caught his attention. It shoved his thoughts in another direction. Wait a minute... what did he say Kita was seeing....something about Christine and my....
"Michael!" The sharp tone and slap to the arm brought him partially back out of his thoughts. Christine was staring at him intently, "Has she been cognitive at all? Noises, muscle spasms, anything."
"He said she moaned...there's been some movement....just stares"
She could tell Michael was unsettled and unsure, definitely out of character for him. But with the way things had been going? What the hell had happened to them now? Christine was beginning to think that one of them had broken a mirror or something. Their luck had been atrocious lately. Now he was talking about himself in the third person "How long was it?"
"About 30 hours."
"That's not what...." She wanted to slap him hard to bring the focus back to his eyes. He was looking at her but she might as well been a piece of glass. His eyes went through her and beyond. "Damn it! Get her down there now!" Christine shot him one last look before she whirled away.
The eyes, the voice....they were from his dreams. They were almost the same. Feeling more eyes, Michael looked up. Operations and Madeline looked down on him. Operations pointed at him and then jerked his thumb over his shoulder. With a straightening of his shoulders, Michael dragged himself together. He wanted to follow Christine. Reaching out he pulled his Section mask and cloak around him. Shut down what was a problem for him and deal with what Operations' demands were going to be. Hopefully he could convince them of what had happened and to let Raymond live. It was not going to be easy.
End of part five...
written by Tammy
Continue on to Perchance To Dream, part six
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