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Chapter 15
The next two weeks passed quickly but not easily. Nikita could not manage to gain confidence in the operatives who had been sent as the security detail. She kept up the show though of getting them set up and trained in her "program". Trepidation over the mission still lingered and it affected how she was acting. She tried not to let it but that was almost impossible. A constant headache seemed to be the result. Sleep came in bits and spurts. She had dreams every time she tried to ease her exhaustion. It left her irritable and snappish, requiring her to keep a tight leash on her temper. Thus there was a coolness and an air of being detached about her. She deliberately keep Greg at a distance. It only seemed to attract him more.
Michael was no help in the situation either. He refused to address it further with her. Questioning his reasoning behind it had only lead to another late night fight which she had walked out of. She still hadn't told him of Madeline's visit. She knew it would only give him further aggravation and another source of hostility. The night of the fight had been her last visit to the cottage anyway.
Out of anger at her or in keeping with the profile, she wasn't sure, he had distanced him more and more from Greg. It had Greg worried. The 'friendship' he had developed with Michael was special to him. And to see it unraveling was upsetting . He saw it as another loss and that was something he was not ready to handle.
Gradually Greg had opened up to her. He had loved Margeaux very much regardless of the way she had treated him. Nikita had decided he was an idiot for doing it. She let herself appear that she was interested in him but was holding herself aloof. It was easy to do, it fit perfectly with her mood. He used every excuse he got come up with to keep her at the house to spent time with her and to get her to interact and take care of Reese.
Instead of her seducing him, he was trying to do it to her. But for her there was no temptation. Just the wish to have it all over and done with. Nikita knew what he was up to. The game he was playing on his side of the board was to show her how well she fit in his and Reese's life. And how much the little boy needed someone to take care of him. So while getting to know Greg and using his loneliness against him, Nikita was falling helplessly for Reese. He was an genuinely sweet child with an enormous amount of affection to give. He was a sensitive little one and reacted to harshness with tears. The lack of anything but that from Greg angered her. Greg's persistent snapping with him often plunged him into them.
The signs of neglect were clear. Even if Greg was using it as a front to get her to spend more time with him and the baby, it was wrong. He would forget to change him, clean him, once even he forgot to feed Reese. She was becoming worried about leaving him with Greg. It became a catch-22. The more time she spent at the house, the more he left her to do things that related to being the woman of the house. And that only made Greg respond more to the temptation she had started in him. She wasn't quite sure how much longer she would be able to keep up the charade. The bitterness of the lies she was living had a bad effect on her. She didn't like that.
When Michael came over, she saw a major hurdle to get over but no idea how to accomplish it. The bond that had developed between Michael and the child was strong. They were hooked on each other, there was no other way to describe it. There were parts of Michael's emotions that came out only around Reese. That only added to Nikita's misery. She wasn't allowed access to those emotions and it hurt.
The coldness and bare civility he gave her was like a cut from a knife. She hoped it was only because of the mission. And not the bitter words about the past, the Section and their relationship they has thrown at each other during their last fight. The words she had held back the first time got said then. Anger and temper had gotten the best of her and she had lashed out. Every time she thought about them, the regret got stronger. * 'You'll never have any heart because you're too much of a coward. As for a soul forget that , you sold that to the Section a long time ago and they have a no return policy. I'm not donating anymore of mine to your black hole of a life!'*
She wished she could have taken the words back or turned back time. Anything to take the look from his face. Immediately she had tried to apologize but he had withdrawn from her. Reaching out, she had tried to touch him, only to have her hand viciously smacked away. He had lost it then. His own temper and held in emotions exploding to the surface. He railed against her for almost 20 minutes before she couldn't take it anymore. Through tears and anger at herself and him, she had screamed a vicious statement at him before she had walked out. He was the spitting image of L' Araigne. He just used words instead of his fists. Then she had thrown in the comment about Merle.
Once again she did something without thinking. He had been beyond anger after she said that. The ground between them had crumbled beneath their feet. At the time, it had been a just reward for the invectives he had hurled at her. Now she wished fervently that she hadn't said something that not only was untrue but not even something that she actually thought. She knew that there was no way for that Merle could be ashamed of Michael. But she had made the comment anyway. His eyes and face had gone dead at that. His mask had come down like a concrete slab. Stiffly she had left and then cried for a half an hour in the car. She had never intended to hurt him so spitefully. Nikita hated herself for doing it. There was no way to apologize for it. She was more than wrong to say it. If he never let her close again, it was probably not enough.
She also had to question herself about the end of the mission. Could she just return to Section One and go on like this had never happened? Reese needed a family. He needed to be loved. Nikita wanted to provide that love and that family. So now she would not only have to pull Michael away but herself too. It wasn't going to work. She hoped the help she had asked for would though. It was the only chance she and Michael had.
Nikita reflected on all this as she played with Reese in the yard. Greg sat silently on the porch. He and Michael had a bit of a confrontation over how Greg treated Reese. Michael had warned him about the attitude and Greg resented it. They had exchanged words and Michael had loudly left. Greg had been morose and silent ever since. Later he had revealed to Nikita that today was his and Margeaux's anniversary. He was having a hard time dealing with it and Michael getting on his back had not helped his mood. He wasn't happy about anything in his life. Nikita had suggested a picnic or something like that to maybe make him feel better. He had refused.
Looking at her watch, she saw it was naptime for the little tiger. Sweeping him up in her arms amid squeals of laughter. She carried him up to Greg and tried to deposit him in his lap. Reese had refused, clamping onto her, screaming . Greg had pulled back, angered by Reese's reaction.
Nikita was getting used to the reaction by now but it still bothered her to see it.. As Greg had tried to take him, Reese had been mumbling something she couldn't understand. As he had been touched, his words became clear. "NO! EES MAMA!"
She and Greg looked at each other. He shrugged and walked into the house. Feeling the weight of what was happening heavily on her shoulders, she carried Reese inside. Sad and feeling oddly detached, she put him to bed. She intended to leave without seeing Greg. Things were very uncomfortable. However Greg had been standing outside the room as she had closed the door.
"Excuse me." She tried to walk around him but he moved in unison with her.
His voice was low and soft. "I need to talk to you."
"That's ok. Forget it. Consider it a freebie. I'll be on my way." She sidestepped him and started to go down the staircase. *Please just stay quiet Greg. Let me just walk away.*
"I'm falling in love with you, Jo." Nikita stopped on the stairs. This was how it was supposed to go. It didn't mean she had to like it or even be comfortable with it. *I don't like this. It feels wrong .I've told enough lies to others. I've told enough to myself. They just snowball. You can't stop them once they start.*
She went with what her original plan had been. "No you're not." She knew he would reach for her then and he did. She had a half hearted attempt to shrug him off allowing him to think that there was some feeling for him inside her. She stood stiffly in his grasp. Sadly she looked at him. "I refuse to be a replacement model for your wife and substitute mommy for your child. You can not be falling in love with me. Think about it long and hard. Cause I'm not interested. Get it?"
"No. I am falling in love with you and I think you're feeling the same thing. You're not a replacement or a substitute. You just the very unique, very real but mysterious woman who's doing a wonderful job with making both me and a little boy feel happy." Then he kissed her.
She forced herself to return it. Nikita felt unfaithful and ashamed. The lies to Greg weren't the cause, it was the ones she was perpetuating for Reese. When this was over she would go back to the Section and her hell there. Reese would be left to experience the grief and hardship that life was going to give him through this man. And it wasn't fair. No matter how many different ways she played it out, there was not a happy life for Reese if he stayed with Greg. There was something else there too. Another bad feeling or emotion she couldn't name. Her skin crawled with the sensation of it and of his kissing and touching her. Then they heard the sound of breaking glass.
Grateful for the distraction but dreading what the distraction was bringing with it, she yanked away. "Stay here with the baby." she had ordered him. Cautiously she slipped down the stairs. Her handbag laid on top of the desk. Soundlessly she retrieved it and pulled her gun from it. Then the world exploded in bright colors. She crashed to the floor. Her blood roared in her ears and her vision flickered in and out. Stubbornly she fought for her senses and consciousness. Something screamed in her head that this was not from the Section. That the bigger picture had just snapped into focus and that she might die before she understood it all.
With a grunt of pain, she pushed herself up against the wall, using it to guide her way up from the floor. Level was a difficult concept for her as she fought to get her bearings. The back of her head felt like it was on fire. Weak fingers tried to fire the gun. The gun was knocked from her hand and she felt hands grab her. Senses returned at that moment. Throwing herself sideways, she flipped the attacker over her head as she rolled. She came out of the roll, fingers brushing her gun and wrapping around the muzzle. She hauled herself to her feet, backing towards the living room to have more space. She was still dizzy but she could see and hear to fight.
Now to have room to draw them out and away from upstairs.
The attacker was male and strong. Her thoughts flew as she sized him up, looking for an advantage or weakness. Her assessment was stopped as she was grabbed by the throat from behind. Both hands came up. One in a fist to slam backwards into the face of the person behind her. The other with the gun as far as her armpit. She fired and hit at the same time. One punch, 3 bullets and one satisfying release of pressure. Then the sound of thudding as the body hit the floor. The first one came at her headfirst in her stomach, driving her over the body behind her. The falling she couldn't stop. The landing drove the breath from her and she felt dampness as the still healing wound across her abdomen opened. It was still tender and now was split open again.
The world was wavy but she refused to give up. She clawed at his face despite the hood and she used the butt of the gun to smash into the side of his head. Nikita drove her knee up viciously into his crotch. As he reared back, she hit him as hard as she could in the jaw with her gun and jammed her knee into his back as best she could. Pain was slicing in waves of black across her vision. Never had getting hit in the head hurt so much. The slap across her face made her mad and her eyes tear. She hit him again, trying to roll to get him off the top of her. He was too heavy. A heavy fist came from the right across her jaw and the world went black. With a laugh, he pulled off his hood. "Best bitch in the Section...yeah...best dead one now." He grabbed her gun and held it against her cheek. "Say good night Gracie." he said with a snort.
"Good night." He looked up in the direction of the voice. Michael fired once. The attacker fell. With an impassive expression, Michael shoved the rest of the man's body off of Nikita and scooped her up off the floor. The stain on the front of her shirt worried him as well as the mark on the floor where her head had been. He turned only to come face to face with Greg holding a gun at the level of his mouth. He brushed past him. "Put it away."
With extreme gentleness he laid Nikita on the couch. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Greg was still standing there. Gritting his teeth, he repeated himself. "Greg, put the damn thing away. Go get Reese and bring him down here. Then get me ice, bandages and some towels."
"Don't..."
"NOW!!!" With a exhale of frustration, he returned his attention to Nikita. If he hadn't come back to apologize to Greg, she'd be.... He pushed the thought away. There was going to be no apology now. He had seen the look in Greg's eyes. Carefully he rolled up her shirt so he could see her abdomen. It didn't look bad but when she came to, it was going to hurt like hell. Just like her jaw was going to, he thought as he traced the line of it with his knuckle, the hand slightly trembling. It was the same side Bauer had bruised so badly. It seemed only yesterday he had noticed the shadow of it had finally faded. Briefly he wondered how she had gotten it, what had lead up to it. He hadn't asked and she hadn't offered him anything about her time with the man either.
The answer would have to wait for later; again. Greg carried in a still half asleep Reese. He laid him down on the floor next to Michael and left again. Frowning, Michael watched him leave. He exhaled deeply. Things were now definitely out of whack. Nothing has been said about Nikita being attacked and it had not been a show either. He looked over at the floor near the door. The intruder laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling. The guy wasn't Section and Michael had a feeling neither was the other one. They were agency issued. *So what the hell is Operations doing? Or as Nikita has been trying to get me to understand who's trying to get us out of the way?*
Reaching down, he pushed a curl off Reese's cheek. A half smile appeared which quickly left as he heard Nikita moan softly and saw her hand move towards her head. He hadn't looked at it yet and he didn't want her to touch it til he did. He caught it and leaned down to whisper to her.
"Easy, you got hit hard a couple of times. Can you understand me ok?"
"Yeah," she said softly. She reached up with the other hand to his shoulder and her fingers dug in. Hopefully some of his steadiness would pass through to her. She felt like she was on a boat that was being tossed by heavy seas. She didn't have the guts to open her eyes.
"Are you dizzy?"
Nikita licked her lips and swallowed. "Uh-huh. I'm bleeding?"
"Yes, that wound from getting grazed is open again and the back of your head. I don't know how bad it is until I get a look at it."
"What did he hit me with?.......Is Reese ok?" She still wasn't talking above a whisper but her voice sounded stronger.
Michael gave that half smile as he looked back at Reese who was now fully awake; sitting and staring up at him. "Yes, he's right here. He just woke up."
"Greg?"
"Fine, thanks for asking." Greg dumped the things Michael asked for on the couch and left again.
"He's still mad at you."
Looking in the direction Greg took, Michael shrugged. "That's his problem. I said what I thought needed....to be.....said."
"Why are you talking like that? What's wrong?"
"Watching somebody showing off. You think you're smart, don't you? Proud of yourself too?"
"What?" Nikita asked in a more normal voice. She was afraid to move her head so she opened her eyes and looked sideways. She smiled as she was greeted by the triumphant look on Reese's face as he stood next to a kneeling Michael.
"You mean him. Hey Reese." She reached out to touch the tip of his nose with her finger.
Reese patted her arm as Michael bandaged her stomach. "Uht mama?"
Michael froze, a slight tremble back to his hands as he took in Reese's words.. His eyes drifted from Reese to her, the expression indecipherable.
"Did you hear what he called you?"
Nikita closed her eyes with a sigh. "He's been doing that for about the past week. I should have stopped him. Sorry."
"We both broke the rule here."
Opening her eyes back up, she searched his face, not quite sure what she was looking for. A sign or something that maybe he was going to be able to let go. She didn't see it. "I tried to tell you that. You wouldn't listen."
Michael chewed on his lower lip for a minute. "Neither did you." They watched each other for a moment. Reese tugged at his shirt sleeve.
"Uht, Mi......Mi?"
Reaching over, he ruffled Reese's hair affectionately. Nikita watched the look that passed between the man and the child. There was no way Michael was going to let this be. Just like herself. But maybe something good would come of all this. Maybe through this little boy, Michael could lay his own to rest. Then with one ghost settled perhaps the others would follow suit. Or he could at least let go of some of the guilt and self blame.
"I want to sit up." With Michael's help, she eased herself into a sitting position on the edge of the couch. Reese watched with huge eyes but without his usual screeching because his demand was not immediately met. Once she seemed stable, he picked up Reese and put him on Nikita's lap. The tyke seemed pleased with himself. He gave a happy little sigh and folded his hands together in his lap. He looked up at Michael with a grin as Nikita wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Michael smothered the smile that tried to form in response to Reese's grin. With a sigh, Nikita lowered her head so her mouth and nose were in the baby's curly hair. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the calming effects of the child leaning against her. She took a quick look into the hallway. Greg leaned against the doorjamb, staring angrily at them. "He's pretty peeved Michael."
With a sigh, he stood up. "I know." As he turned, Greg was right in his face.
With a voice that was low and tight, he said, "Like I told you earlier today....Leave."
"I'm not going to get into this with you, Greg. There is no reason for us to fight."
"Oh and the little family like scenario I just got treated to in my house with my son and my..."
"Your what? Your employee? Your acquaintance? Or were you implying something else?"
Nikita's head was pounding and she was not looking forward to a repeat of the posturing they had performed that morning. "Will you two boys stop the chest puffing and find out where someone from the security detail is. I want this place secured so I can go back to my room."
Simultaneously, they said, "You're not going anywhere." They glared at each other. Suddenly Greg pushed Michael. "I meant it when I said leave!"
Michael stood his ground. Nikita gave a loud sigh. "If either of you get this child upset, I will take him and walk out the front door. Regardless of whether either of you like it or not and I will drive the both of us back to my hotel room. Am I getting through to either of you?"
The silence was heavy. Sensing that neither of them was willing to back down, Nikita started to get to her feet. At first she was fine, but then things got wavy around her. She swayed on her feet and would have dropped Reese if Greg didn't grabbed her with one arm and Reese with the other.
"I can handle this without your expertise, Michael" Greg said pointedly.
With a final look at Nikita, Michael started to walk towards the hallway. He hesitated for a moment before throwing out a sarcastic comment as he faced them. "And you're welcome for saving her life too. Anytime...just yell. Oh one other thing"
"Yes?" Greg replied icily.
Michael fixed his eyes on Nikita. "What did you do to piss him off, Jo?"
Nikita looked at him with huge eyes. "Excuse me?"
"This was Oscar's stunt. See him over there. Works for Oscar's friend George....you screwed up somewhere. I think it's time for a talk."
"Michael, don't start with him."
"He already laid out the ground rules, Jo"
Greg looked from Nikita to Michael; he was completely baffled. "Don't Michael. You'll only hurt Nikita and yourself if you get into this. It's being taken care of. Lay off til then."
"And where do you get that idea from?"
"I talked to Madeline." Michael watched Nikita carefully. She had seen Madeline. She had easily slipped into the ruse he set up and shared a good bit of info. There was a bigger picture on the screen and he had no idea what role he was suppose to be playing. She would have to tell him later.
"Great. Thanks a lot." He strode out of the room and slammed the front door closed. Nikita flinched at the sound. It only made her head hurt more. She had a definite feeling the fuse on the powder keg of trouble they had here had just been lit. Pushing her way out of Greg's grasp, she staggered over to the other intruder who laid in a heap on his side.
Slowly, Nikita got to her knees and then rolled the body to its back. The hood came off with several attempts. As the face came into view, a sound of pain came out of her. She began to tremble with rage, fear and sadness. The dead intruder was Mullin. She looked over at the other dead body. He was not familiar. Greg watched as she turned her head back to the one in front of her. Her eyes closed and she lifted her face to the ceiling. Softly but with a venomous tone, he heard her say, "God damn you." He had to wonder who she was damning. He hoped it wasn't him.
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Chapter 16
Over her loud protests, Greg had taken her car keys and made her stay in bed for two days straight. He'd gone to the hotel room and grabbed her some clothes. Fortunately, he had stuffed everything in her duffle bag. He had been attentive, caring and tender to her the whole time. He tried to kiss her only once and she had pushed him away, asking for time and space. Things had happened to her recently that made his touching her very uncomfortable. Reluctantly he had accepted her excuse. But the majority of the touching didn't stop, just the attempts at kissing her.
The two days had given her time to think. This was one giant set up. The evidence to prove it was clear and strong. Agency and Section people were involved. To think she and Michael had trusted Mullin so many times. It was scary. And the explanation of the security team as to their whereabouts when the latest attack occurred had been flimsy. Chasing an intruder...yeah right. They had probably shown them the way in. She has sent them all packing. It would probably be a decision that would haunt her later. She would deal with it then.
As she sat on the edge of the bed now, she debated how to handle what was coming. Greg was not the most patient man and his advances had gotten bolder. She repressed a shudder at the thought of them. For an instant, an image of Bauer overlaid with one of Taylor popped into her head. She gave a little flinch and reached into the pocket of the duffle bag and pulled out what was in it.
Three things rested in her palm. Two vials with a clear liquid and Michael's ring. She picked up the ring with the other hand and closed her hand around it, bringing it to her mouth. She held it there for several seconds as she thought about Operations' threats and the rest of the mess she was in. With lips pressed tightly together, she shoved the ring back in the pocket. She couldn't think about Michael right now. She shook the vials in her hand.
Greg was waiting for her downstairs. He was making them dinner to have in the sunroom. To thank her for what she was doing for him and Reese. With a deep breath, she stood up and made her way down. It was quiet when she got down there. He was no where to be seen. A small table was set up in the sunroom complete with already poured glasses of champagne and lit candles. Quickly she poured several drops into one of the glasses, watching and listening carefully. It was more than Christine's instructions but she couldn't bank on them working instantaneously She sat down at the other one. Purposely in the chair with her back facing the door.
She forced herself not to pull away as he slid his hands over her shoulders and kissed her gently on the neck just under her ear. "Hungry?" he asked teasingly.
"I could be. What did you make?" She watched as he set down a tray.
He lifted the lid with a flourish. "Cheeseburgers! And I didn't overcook them either!"
Nikita actually had to laugh at him. He was genuinely proud of himself. "What made you think I liked cheeseburgers?"
His smile faded as he sat down. "You don't?"
She laughed again. "Yes I do. Don't worry."
The smile returned as he took a slug of the champagne. "You seemed like the type who would like them. But not with a toasted bun, it just has to be fresh. You know soft and chewy."
Nikita took a bite of the burger to hide her reaction. He was really laying it on thick. She wondered how long before the drug started to affect him. He watched her eat for a moment and then got up. He flipped on the C/D player by one of the chairs. Soft, slow and heavily bassed blues filled the room. He beckoned at her with his fingers as he took another slug of the champagne. "Come here and dance with me, Jo"
Steeling herself for what was assuredly going to start next, she joined him. It didn't take long for him to make his first move. Swallowing hard and fighting the nauseous feeling in her stomach, Nikita played along with him. His kisses were insistent and strong. He easily picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Fumbling with her clothing , he lowered her onto the bed. She was fighting the urge to shove him violently away. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears, mixing with the sounds of voices. The voices matched the faces that popped into her head. Bauer and Taylor both came at her from memory. She wanted to scream at the wave of feeling that began to wash over her.
Greg began to tremble and then he stopped moving. With a choking sound of disgust, she shoved him off. Shaking as if frozen through, she tried to straighten her clothes. Uttering a cry of frustration, she balled her hands up into fists. "Stop it Nikita! Right now stop it and get control of yourself!!!" Looking around the room, she tried to stop the shaking. It was useless. Grabbing the lamp from the nightstand, she threw it on the floor as she wiped her mouth several times with the back of her hand. Then she tipped over the nightstand. She scattered as much of the room as possible. It had to look as if a struggle happened. She pulled down one side of the drapes and pushed open the glass doors. There was going to be no being here tomorrow to tell Greg about what a great time they had together. She snatched the lamp off the floor and cracked it over his head. When he came to, he'd think he had been hit over the head and she had been attacked again. And whoever had attacked her, took her and Reese away. That fit into the profile and she hadn't had to.... She repressed that shudder and the sick feeling in her stomach again.
Then she went to Reese's room. He was standing up in the crib, watching her with a grin on his face. "Mama!" he said gleefully. This was a treat for him. Someone was actually in his room in the middle of the night. Nikita knew he thought it was time to play.
With a look of getting ready to cry, she yanked open one of his dresser drawers. "I wish you would stop calling me that. It's not going to happen. There's no way it can. I can't be anyone's mama." The tears started then.
She grabbed a diaper bag from the tree rack in the room and started shoving stuff into it. She didn't worry about being neat. Finishing that, she went to her room. First she pulled the ring from the duffle bag and jammed it on her finger. Rummaging around in the bag, she pulled out a cell phone and turned it on. The display read "call 888-708-3400". Everything else she left.
Spinning on her heel from the door, she strewed things across the room from drawers, pulling the covers from the bed and knocking down things from the dresser. As she started to leave again, she caught sight of herself in the mirror that topped the dresser. She looked like she was suffering from one of the fits her mother used to have. Hair was wild, clothes were rumpled, face wet with tears and eyes swollen from crying. The dark bruise on her jawline and cheek only intensified the effect. For a moment, she felt 10 years old again being swept on the current that was one of Momma's whirlwind moods. *I look just like Momma just to.*
"I'M NOT MY MOTHER!!!" The shout ripped from her as she grabbed the lamp she had tossed on the floor and hurled it at the mirror. Both items shattered and bits of glass flew back at her. She drew back, turning her face to avoid the fragments. As she looked over the shards littering the dresser and floor, she gave several short bitter laughs. "Just perfect, 7 more years of god damn bad luck! Stupid bitch!"
She went back to Greg's room. He laid still and quiet on the bed. His chest rose and fell with slow deep breathing. Looking around the room, she tried to figure out where he would have hidden her keys. A search of both nightstands proved fruitless. "Where did you put them? You told me yesterday that only way to find them was to come to your room!" Turning her attention to the dresser, she started yanking open drawers, pulling things and leaving them where they landed. Nothing there either. She yanked the cell phone out of the waistband of her skirt and tossed it next to Greg. The call would go directly to the phone Michael had and he could handle the rest.
Opening the small door on the dresser revealed several folders and envelopes, a video cassette and her keys. Grabbing them she started to turn around but then hesitated. Nikita looked back at the folders, envelopes and the cassette. Debating, she chewed on her forefinger for a minute. She looked over at Greg on the bed then back at the items in the dresser.
Deciding they might be important in figuring out what they were caught up in, a thought that she had no idea how she came to, she grabbed them and went to get out of the room. She had to get to their meeting point. This mission had to be finished. She couldn't take anymore of it.
As she passed the bed, Bauer's face popped into her head again. Nikita forced the image away. She knew that things were finally catching up with her. The effects of the stress of the past few months were cutting large chunks out of the shell she kept around herself. Yes, she let her emotions show but there were things she buried inside. Just like Michael did. Things she didn't like to deal with....like her mother, the stuff that had happened with Taylor, how she had abandoned Katie, life on the streets and now Bauer's attack.
Katie had been brought to the surface and pulled into Nikita's hell. Now the others were clamouring to be dealt with too. Michael had said that what Taylor had done was rape, that was something she had never faced up to. Bauer's attempt had brought the memories and feelings associated with it closer to the light of day. Even though she tried to keep them covered up. Now the almost tryst with Greg had laid them both bare. The shaking started again as she struggled for control. Fear, loathing, sadness and anger made her feel completely vulnerable and alone. Staggering from the room under the weight of her emotions and memories, she went to get Reese. She hope Michael would be where they had planned. She needed him and his protection. The world had to be kept away for a while til she could deal with it again.
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Sounds and images floated around him. He felt curiously disjointed from the world. As if he was only a witness to his own downfall. Vaguely he remembered being pulled from his bed and bundled into a vehicle. In echoes, he could hear CC's voice telling him he might have to make a sacrifice to keep them all alive. Sacrifice so that she could get the intel to bring George down, to show he had sold them out to the worst people for the worst reason. He swallowed dryness, it hurt to breathe too. The constriction of his chest just another method.
He remembered what he had overheard George telling someone on the phone. The others were not worth that much except for the one from Israel. Martina was worth 10 to him, by finding her the rest would be easy. She was the key. Section one had to be watched though. She had been to see them. Close contact with the leader and one of the female operatives.
The female operative was a problem. No telling what she had been told by Martina. She was close to the second in command. The real dangerous one George had referred to. Same went for him. She easily could have shared things with him. Chances were very good they were in on it as well. Yes, the first attempt on them had been poor. L' Araigne had his own self interests at heart. Just wasn't up to the job. He might even toy with them for a while, there was lots of fodder there for fun. Lots of ammo from the past to throw at them. The end for all was extermination, including the kid.
Oscar had been shocked and repulsed to hear what had been said . That's when he knew that they had it figured right. They had the perfect bait but he wasn't about to use it. CC had expressed the same. Just keep him safe and give him a good life. It would make up for a few things. But that wasn't George's view. He saw gain for himself. Oscar was determined he was not going to get that gain by killing innocents and thus ruining lives and the future. But they needed hard proof not an over-heard phone call and a bunch of circumstances..
The muted light from above that bathed him suddenly grew hot and intense. He didn't bother to open his eyes. He'd ordered the same treatment for too many others. He sensed Madeline standing there and knew the look he would see in her eyes if he were to gaze into them. There would be reproach, hate, anger, disgust but nothing of how she used to look at him. What he had done to draw attention away from George so he would make the wrong move out of a false sense of security and impunity had destroyed any hope of seeing that again.
"What did they offer you, Oscar? What could be worth so much to you to sell out us and your self respect?"
Licking his dry lips, he hoarsely uttered two words before the pain started, "The future". And then it did.
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The beeping on the PDA finally cut its way into Michael's deep sleep. Exhaustion had finally knocked him down. There had been no nightmares just blissful oblivion for a few hours. With heavy eyes he looked at the display.
As he read the message on it, all sleep disappeared from his body and his mind was instantly alert. It was Nikita.. She was on her way to the rendezvous point and she had Reese with her. He felt unease slide down his spine as he yanked on the pants he had thrown on the chair. He had not expected things to go so fast and not the way they had. He was suppose to take her and Reese from Greg's, not her meeting him at the cabin he had given her directions to just in case..
A hand through his hair pulled it out of his face. All he grabbed was his jacket, PDA and phone. Digging in his pants pocket, he pulled out the car keys. He was just about to shut the door behind him when he saw the sketch laying on the coffee table. The drawing of the woman cradling the child still unfinished. He hesitated for a moment, the Section would send someone out to clean things out. He looked around, knowing that after they were done there would be no evidence that he had existed here. The picture would end in a storage room, a trash pile or even worse on Madeline's desk.
That thought gave he some fear. With that drawing and the other sketches in it, she might be able to figure out what he had done to make it possible. Yes, it would give clues as to how he was going to be able to make Nikita, Reese and himself disappear. As well as the truth about Katie. Going back in , he tucked the pad under his arm and then left. He didn't want to leave any evidence behind about that. He wanted to give Nikita that 'someday', that tomorrow that they were owed and deserved. They had a right to it and he was going to make sure they got it, one way or another.
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The small cabin the directions led to was tucked deep in the woods. The last house Nikita had seen had been over 5 miles ago. Reese had fallen asleep in the car seat after only a few minutes on the road. It really wasn't that far from either the cottage or the house. But it was hidden. She had driven carefully because she still could not completely stop the shaking of her body. Her stomach was in an uproar and her head pounded viciously.
Letting the car roll gently to a halt, she studied it. It was small but seemed sturdy, safe and secure. Something she needed right now. Gently she lifted the sleeping boy from his car seat and carried him instead. The light was on the wall as she had hoped. It didn't light much but enough to see the portable crib against the wall near a set of doors. After placing Reese in it, she quickly gathered the remaining things from the car. With a quivering sigh of relief, she closed the door and leaned up against it.
Looking around the small cabin, she found it to be clean but it smelled musty and unused. In a way like a elderly aunt's house would smell. She remembered once visiting Litta's Aunt Meg. Aunt Meg had been ancient and her tiny living room had smelled just like this. It was not too long after that she and Taylor...."No Nikita! Stop thinking about it! Bury it!" she whispered forcibly to herself.
Still trembling, she went across the room and looked into the alcove behind a pair of swinging floor to ceiling shutters. In there was a bed, a dresser and another door. Likely it was to the bathroom. There was a light switch on the outside of the doorjamb. Flipping it plunged the cabin into darkness again. That was good. In the dark you could hide away. No one would be able to see you or find you.
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Madeline looked up as Christine came into her office. The way Madeline looked greatly concerned her. The usually warm toned skin was taut and lacked any color except the dark circles that stood out like bruises under her eyes. Those eyes were swollen and red rimmed, the whites were blood shot. There was no light in them either, in that moment they reminded her of Michael's. Both when he had lost Merle and when he thought Nikita had been cancelled. Madeline had lost something precious to her and Christine knew it had to do with her patient in isolation in Medlab.
"How is he?" Madeline's voice was low and raw. Even to her own ears. Never had an interrogation eaten into her heart and soul as this one had. The precious ember she had tucked away for so long was flickering in and out.
What he had told her was too much to believe. None of it was possible compared with the evidence she had. It was impossible. But she wanted to believe him so much. They had worked together for too long and fought against too much for him to have done those things everything else said he did.
"Stable for now. What about you?"
"I'm not a concern. Is Simon still with him?" Christine nodded yes. Madeline held out a disc to her. "Give this to him. Tell him I'm counting on him to help with this. I'll be with him in about 15 minutes."
"Of course. Are you going to be ok, Madeline?"
"You're worries would best to be placed with Michael and Nikita for now."
The words chilled Christine to the bone. Simon said things were bad but now she knew just how bad. She prayed to God they would be able to get there in time. When Nikita had called at home she was scared. Very scared and very shaky. She'd been able to get Christine a location and pleaded for help. Christine's first reaction had been to contact Simon. But getting here she had been confronted by the patient who they now discussed. He had been dumped on the floor in Medlab. "Keep him alive." was the only directive she received.
Demanding Simon's help with him, she had shared Nikita's phone call with him. She had no worry of Operations overhearing them. Her first step had been to sedate him. He had been in a lot of pain. Simon said he was going to help them. Was she willing to help? How could she not? Maybe after they got them out, she and Michael would have a long talk. It was time to get reacquainted.
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Thunder rumbled and echoed through the air as lightening lit the trees at odd intervals. It gave the trees a skeletal look that reminded Michael of the wicked witch's forest in The Wizard of Oz for some reason. He vaguely remembered the story from seeing it as a child with Paige. She had been scared to death of that wicked witch. He had thought she had been pretty cool. He remember the awful tricks he had played on her for a week after they saw it.
It led to the one and only time his mother had been actually angry with him. It had to do with one of the cats, something from the movie. What had he done...that was it; the hair dye and food colouring stunt Paige had pulled and he had covered for her. It was strange to be thinking of Paige all of a sudden. Snippets of a dream danced at the back of his mind but he wasn't sure if they were recent or not. He would think about it later.
He was at the cabin. As he pulled up to the small building, it was dark and silent except for the usual summertime insects. Glancing at his watch, Michael knew Nikita should have had enough time to get here with Reese. Had something happened and he'd been lured here on purpose? Or maybe she knew something was going to happen to him at the cottage and she needed to get him out of there before it did? There was no clear explanation and he wasn't going to get it until he went inside. He turned off the lights and got out of the car. Unsure of whether on not the electric worked or was even available, he grabbed a flashlight from under his seat. Testing to make sure it had power, he went to the cabin door.
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The sound of the thunder brought her up out of a troubled sleep. Bauer and Taylor both chased her there. And every time she had just about evaded them, Elouette, Momma or Operations showed up to block her way. She listen to the quiet of the woods and the cabin as she laid face down in the bed. Then Nikita heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. Her shaking began anew as she reached for her gun on the pillow on the other side of the bed. Panic gripped her sides as she heard the door open and saw the shine of a flashlight as she turned her head to look at the swinging doors.
Memories of Taylor with a flashlight exploded in her head. He was coming back after all this time. He still had no brains or maybe it was more a matter of not using the ones he had. If he thought he was going to touch her again, she would show him what his brains looked like. And if he even thought of taking the baby away from her again, he would die a slow agonizing death.
Slowly she got to her knees and brought herself up straight. She wasn't that scared little teenager anymore. Not by a long shot. She was a frightened woman right now. Alone with a small child in the middle of the woods in a strange place.... But she knew how to defend herself and she knew how to kill now. There would be no more threats, no more pleading and no more hurt.
Gritting her teeth together and biting back the terror that wanted to scream out of her throat, she brought her gun up to point at the doors. He wasn't going to have the smallest chance to say anything.
But what if it wasn't Taylor? What if it was Bauer? Taylor she could deal with, the fear of him was from the past. The fear of Bauer was fresh and raw. Taylor was weak, it would take nothing to stop him. Bauer was stronger and not afraid to hurt her to get what he wanted. Hadn't he hit her so hard in the face she had the marks for weeks? The way he had touched her, groped her.... She just wanted to hide from the thoughts and the memories but she couldn't.
Where was Michael? She couldn't find the strength to protect herself anymore let alone the child sleeping just outside the door. She had fought Bauer off once, that had been easy. She had been fighting for Michael then. Bauer knew how to control her now. He knew about Katie. He knew her, what motivated her. Wasn't that what he was doing right now? Controlling her with her fear and her memories, as if he was holding a gun to her head. She was not the one for him but he didn't acknowledge that fact. Now he was back for more.
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Michael cast the flashlight around the room. Reese laid in the portable crib, quietly asleep. Nikita was nowhere to be seen. Several bags laid on the floor just inside the door. Carefully he stepped over them and checked on the baby. He appeared safe and comfortable in the crib, sucking his thumb as he slept, a teddy bear held tightly in his grasp. Looking around, it appeared nothing else had been touched. She had to be somewhere near. Carefully he pushed open the doors and .....
Nikita filled the chamber on the gun after she heard the click of the safety come undone. She realized there would have been no way for Taylor to find her. However Bauer wouldn't have had that problem. He had access to the Section and their good graces too. Hadn't they protected him before? Of course and they had protected him again. He wasn't going to catch her off guard this time. He wasn't going to shove her down and try to rip her clothes off again or get to put his mouth on her....
The gun trembled in her hands. She didn't turn away from the light as Michael flashed it in her eyes. The sight of her threw him. Her hair was in disarray, her clothes wrinkled and twisted on her body. Her face glistened with sweat and tears. She held her gun straight out at him as she knelt ramrod stiff in the middle of the bed. The weapon shook in her hand. Her eyes were dark and filled with fear. But there was no acknowledgment of him or the flash of light in her eyes.
Reaching behind him, he felt for a light switch. Finding one, he flipped it on. The small light on the bedside table flickered to life. Nikita never acknowledged that coming on either. She still acted as if she didn't even see him. Cautiously Michael approached the bed, one hand reaching out to her. "Nikita, it's me, Michael. Can you hear me?"
There was no verbal response from her but the gun and her arms began to shake violently. The shudders spread from her arms down her back. Slowly Michael put his knee on the bed and placed his palm on the barrel of the gun. Then he started to press down on it, forcing the muzzle down to the mattress. "Nikita, let go of the gun. Let it fall down. I'm here now. I'll protect you. I won't let anything happen to you." He could feel the resistance in arms through the pressure he placed on the gun.
A whimper of pain came out of her mouth and tears started to fall more rapidly. She let go of the gun suddenly and started to slap at the air. "No. Stop. Don't touch me. NO. NO."
Michael grabbed her, pulling her close. She struggled against him. "Nikita, he can't hurt you. I'm here. I won't let him touch you."
"Can't let it happen again!" She shoved at Michael and pushed him almost off the bed. She scrambled off the other side. Backing into the corner, she wrapped her arms around herself and slid to the floor. She whimpered again and then turned her face into the wall.
He eased himself down to his knees in front of her hunched form. He remembered what Madeline had mentioned to him about Nikita's encounter with Bauer. He hadn't gotten around to talking to her about it. Michael had a strong feeling he knew now. Either Bauer had or come very close to .... He closed his eyes, controlling his temper. There was no way for the bastard to hurt her again in the flesh. He would have to find a way to get the creep out of her head now.
Reaching out, he tried to get her to look at him. "Nikita, he can't hurt you anymore, I made sure of that. I got rid of him. He's been dead for weeks."
Nikita slapped his hand away, trying to pull into the corner more. "Don't" she whispered.
"Kita, please. It's me. Let me make it better."
"Can't." Nikita felt back in the present but the past still buffeted her. She didn't want him to see all the garbage she held under the surface.
"Let me try." Michael reached out to touch her face again. He had to reach her somehow. This was not how she normally dealt with things. He was used to anger, what his mother would have called 'sange-chaudiere'. Not like this emotional collapse or whatever she was having here. With an animal like deep throated scream, she was out of the corner and out of the room.
Now he was the one scrambling to his feet. He knew she was headed outside and the slamming open of the cabin door only proved him right. Her temper was showing now. This wasn't going to be pretty. Whatever she was going to hurl at him though he wasn't going to get angry at her.
Not like he had in their last fight. Things had been said on both sides that were wrong, deliberately hurtful and some even hateful. He regretted it and when he had seen her the first time after the argument, he could see it in her eyes too. He shouldn't have put off talking to her about Bauer. Things were bad as they had stood when he had first awoken to the PDA. Now they were on a rapid course it seemed to get worse.
As he got out the door, he sensed her swing and dodged it. As Michael came around, he saw her standing there to the right of the door. The wind had picked up and was beginning to whip her hair around. The brief flashes of lightening lit her face to reveal anger and fear mixed together in her expression. Everything was focused on him. Both her hands clenched in fists at her sides. She still shook like she had been doing as she kneeled on the bed.
Nikita's words slashed at him like a knife. "WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE?!?!?! WHY...WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!?!?! Nikita whirled away from him to face out to the woods. He dropped his head for a moment, cursing himself. She was right, he hadn't been there when she needed him. He hadn't been strong enough to .... "I came for you as I promised I would."
She spun back around. "YOU WERE TOO LATE!!!! YOU LET HIM TOUCH ME!!!!" He could hear the hysterical edge to her voice. He didn't know what to do though. She didn't want to be held. Maybe it was best just to let this fit run its course. Maybe right now to get herself back to some semblance of normal she needed to vent. She had every right to. Especially if what he was strongly suspecting was true and her words were changing that to knowing.
It wasn't fair to fly at him like that but she couldn't help it. Nikita needed to get some of it out. And there was no one else to direct her anger at. He has been doing it to her. Well, it was just his turn. He didn't turn away or flinch or yell back at her either. He didn't express anger. He took the verbal beating she gave him.
As she went on, the anger turned from Bauer to Taylor and began to swing away from him and more to the world in general. He didn't stop her. Michael let her temper wear itself down. He made a mental promise to her as he listened to her spit out things the man had done and words he had said. He would find Taylor and they would have a talk. A long one about the things he had done. And then he would take care of Taylor the same way he had Bauer.
Nikita stopped as the anger finally seeped away and the shaking subsided. The fear was no longer there. Just a coldness and an emptiness. It was like a well that was deep and dark .Now she knew where Michael hid his emotions. It served him so perfectly maybe she should try it too.
She was standing so still that he wasn't sure if she was with him any longer. He came closer and embraced her. She let him draw her into the circle of his arms.
Michael held her tight and close. "I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and make it so it never happened."
"Then there wouldn't be here and now or us." Her voice was empty and wooden.
He said then only thing he could think to say at the moment. "I love you."
"He used to say that since I said yes the first time, there was no more saying no. I guess he was right." She pulled away suddenly and looked at him. "Were you serious about Bauer?"
"Yes, he dead." * I promise one day to make the rest go away for you too.*
End of Part 7
continue on to Bitter Refrain, Part 8
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