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Michael C. Miller I
February 29, 1952 - October 2, 2004
I miss you, Dad!
My Dad and I never had an "awesome" relationship, but I do remember a lot of times that were good, and times that he showed how much he really did love me. My Dad had a funny way of showing things, but as he got older, he was easier to relate to. As a kid I never understood a lot of things about him, but as I got older the reasons for the way he acted became clearer. He was a fisherman, a total outdoorsman! He loved to fish, hunt, almost anything to do with the outdoors. He was very good at just about everything he attempted. I remember, once, for Christmas, he built a huge wooden dollhouse for me, handcarved all the wooden furniture for it, and made curtains out of blue felt! I remember going to the festivals with him because he was the only one who would ride the rides. I remember my Dad could not show affection in the usual sort of way, but he would try in other ways. He would just about give you the shirt off his back. I remember going over to visit him, and he would just go around the house asking me if I needed this, or "look what he just got" did I need it?"  He could always give me any information I needed to know about fixing a car, or rigging something to work. My Dad was real, he never pretended to be who he wasn't, that is the one thing I did admire and respect about him. I never had to wonder what he was thinking, LOL. I do miss him, I miss alot of little things about him, but mostly I miss not being able to just drop in. He was always SO happy when I would come over.

After he passed away, my brother and I went through his house. After he passed my mother gave me his Bible, which actually was my grandfather's that had been passed down. I opened it and what I found floored me.

He had saved my first haircut, documented where I was, how old I was, who did it..everything. He saved my first writing, with dates and times. The one thing that blew me away was the letter that he had written to me on a Valentine's Day when I was very little. He wrote how he had saw pretty flowers and wanted to get me a pretty flower and a card, but he could not afford it, so he wrote me this letter to tell me how much he loved me, and signed it Dada. UNBELIEVEABLE I thought as soon as I read it. Those are the times that you wish they were still with you, and that you can tell them everything you ever wanted to say.

The best gift that I got I think was actually getting time to say goodbye to him.  He lived for about 2 months after his diagnosis of cancer, and I prayed for him to be cognitive enough for me to talk to him. The next day I went in and he was sitting up, eating..only he thought that it was back in the 70's and I was a little girl. Sometimes, he would remember that I was older and we would talk for a long time. We got to mend fences, as matter of fact, he never remembered there being any kind of rift between us. It was so nice to finally talk to my Dad like I should have always been able to, but alcohol robbed us of that until then. The last few times I visited him, when I would leave he would say "I love you, I surely, surely do sweetheart". He said that a lot to me. It meant a lot. I miss him a lot, but he will always be in my heart.
My Dad and My Daughter, Gabby - 1997
My Dad, Mom, Me, and Brother - 1984
My Dad loved Bass fishing, so this is here for him.
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