"Don't even think about it," Matt warned, turning to face Tim.

Tim gave him an innocent look despite the amount of alcohol he'd already consumed. "What?"

"What, my ass," Matt mocked him. "I know that look, and I can see where it's directed. Don't even fucking think about it."

Tim turned his gaze away from his friend to once again look over the bleached blonde kid standing a ways back from the crowd of sweaty, drunken, screaming punk rockers. "Too late," he replied to Matt, a smirk crossing over his lips.

A groan issued from Matt, sounding more like a deep growl. "Do you have any idea how old that kid is?"

"Does it matter?"

"Probably not to you. It might to the state of California," Matt informed him. "He's 17." Tim gave a nod of understanding, not that he really cared, and Matt rolled his eyes. "Jailbait, Tim."

Tim laughed a full, throaty laugh. Turning, he crumpled up his empty cup and tossed it towards the trashcan. Matt raised an eyebrow at him inquisitively, and Tim grinned.

"Never stopped me before."

With those careless last words, Tim left Matt shaking his head and prowled across the messy dancefloor of the Gilman. Some local band was on stage, attracting most everyone's attention and drowning out the sound of just about everything else. Tim reached his destination, leaning against the wall next to the lithe blonde who's dark eyes were focused on the stage.

He leaned over, close to the kid's ear, and whispered. "Hey."

The object of Tim's attention jumped slightly, startled. He turned and managed a shaky sort of smile at the older man. "Hi," he muttered unsurely.

Tim nodded his head towards the stage. "Good band, huh?"

With a glance back at the band, the kid shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, I guess. Their music is okay, but the lyrics lack substance...they sound just like everything else that's come out recently," he told Tim. Tim was a bit surprised by the response, from his body language he'd expected a short answer or even a nod from the kid. Instead, he'd actually shown some depth. Tim was impressed.

"What's your name?," he found himself asking.

The kid gave him a small smirk, amusement shining brightly in his eyes. As if he knew Tim hadn't wandered over here to ask him about the band. As if he knew exactly why Tim had wandered over here. It was unnerving, in a strange sort of way.

"Jesse."

Tucking that information away, Tim extended his hand. "I'm Tim."

Jesse took his hand and shook it briefly, but firmly, looking straight into his eyes still with that knowing smirk. Tim's senses reeled at even the small amount of contact, as if he'd stuck his finger into an electrical socket. He retrieved his hand, almost regretfully, but remained trapped by Jesse's gaze. Faltering, he looked away from the younger boy and nonchalantly across the pit. He caught a glance of Matt glaring at him, and only offered him an arrogant smile in return.

Once his eyes found their way back to Jesse, he noted that he'd turned around and was watching the band again as they performed their last song.

"So, uh...," Tim tried to think of something to say, to get Jesse's attention back on him. This wasn't usually so hard, most of the time Tim could smile at someone and they'd be his for the night or however long he wanted them. However, he trailed off this time as soon as Jesse looked at him again.

"What, you going to ask me if I come here often?," Jesse inquired once it was apparent that Tim had nothing more to say. His smirk widened to a grin and Tim felt a familiar tightening in the region of his crotch. He managed to grin right back at Jesse.

"Nah," Tim told him, leaning close again so that he didn't have to shout. "I was actually going to ask if you wanted to get out of here..."

Jesse couldn't help the slight tremor that ran through his body as Tim's warm breath passed over his neck. He may have only been 17 years old, but he wasn't stupid. He knew what this older - and undeniably gorgeous - punk wanted from him, and under any other circumstances he would have laughed, backed away from the man and left promptly. Instead, he gave a mute nod.

Tim felt the smile on his face grow. His libido rarely led him wrong, and he had an idea that this was a conquest very worth persuing. He grasped Jesse's thin wrist, tugging him in the direction of the back exit. Matt growled a warning at Tim as he passed, but it went unheard and probably unheeded as the pair left the crowded club in favor of the concrete and cool air outside.

Once outside, Tim released Jesse's wrist and dug a cigarette out from underneath the rim of the baseball cap he wore over his messy, light brown hair. Retrieving a lighter out of his pants, he offered the cigarette to Jesse after lighting it and taking a drag. Jesse shook his head.

"Don't smoke," he replied.

"Why?," Tim asked with a small smirk. "Cuz you're not old enough?"

Jesse raised an eyebrow at him. "How do you know how old I am?"

Covering his mistake, Tim shrugged. "Just a guess. You don't look eighteen."

"Well you don't look twenty-one, either," Jesse countered. "But judging by your breath I'd say you've been drinking anyway."

"I am twenty-one," Tim countered, as if that would make his inebriated state all right.

Jesse stuffed his hands in his pockets, lightly shrugging his shoulders to indicate that it didn't matter. Tim took a long drag off of his smoke and exhaled lingeringly, watching the boy next to him. Jesse turned his head to look at him and Tim found himself grasping for something to say again.

"You play anything?," he finally managed, reverting back to the safety net of musical conversation.

"What, like badmitton?," Jesse asked. Tim gave him an odd look and Jesse grinned, showing that he was joking. Then he shook his head. "I fuck around with guitar a little, but mostly I just write."

"Lyrics?," Tim questioned.

"No, novels," Jesse replied. Another grin showed that he was once again joking.

"You sure are a sarcastic fucker," Tim told him.

"Yeah," Jesse conceeded. "What about you? Play anything?"

Tim nodded and exhaled a cloud of smoke before speaking. "Guitar. My roommate plays the bass, we've been trying to get a band together."

"Oh, glorious, another three-chord punk band for Berkeley to boast about," Jesse said, his tone underlaced with snideness.

"What, you don't like Berkeley?," Tim asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"It's fine, the scene just seems...kind of stale," Jesse explained. "I mean, you can only say 'fuck the government' so many times before it gets old. It's like it's all technique anymore."

With a thoughtful nod, Tim tossed his cigarette to the gutter and turned down a sidestreet.

"You have a destination in mind?," Jesse asked. Tim slowed down until the kid was next to him again, then grinned sort of animalisticly at him.

"Maybe," he replied. "You gunna follow anyway?"

"I figured you would have already asked me to come home with you," Jesse stated, not really answering his question.

"Does that happen a lot?," Tim asked curiously.

"People asking? Yeah," Jesse admitted.

"What about you following?," Tim continued.

"No," Jesse told him, his tone a little too proud to be harmless. Tim made a small noise of consideration, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt. He let the silence draw out for a minute, then stopped walking. Jesse stopped as well, looking at him expectantly.

"You wanna come home with me?"

Jesse looked at the ground, quietly debating for a moment. Tim found himself a bit nervous, realizing he actually wanted this kid to come with him - not just anyone, but Jesse in particular. He couldn't exactly place why, but there was something in Jesse's brown eyes that he hadn't seen before, and something in the way he acted that was indescribably alluring. Finally, Jesse lifted his head and shrugged carelessly, as if he hadn't had to stand on the sidewalk and think about it for three minutes.

"Sure."

Tim grinned and led the way across the vacant street, Jesse tagging along behind him. They walked in silence, the night air punctuated by the sound of cars on nearby streets and every once in a while something would move in an alley. After a while, Jesse spoke up.

"You do this a lot," he stated, not a hint of questioning to his voice.

"Do what?," Tim asked, turning to look at the figure beside him. Jesse was looking at the ground again, seeming a little more insecure than he was before.

"Go to a show, and find someone, then ask them to go home with you."

"What makes you think I do that lots?," Tim queried innocently. Well, sure, he did do that very thing quite often, but that didn't mean he'd have to own up to it.

"I...," Jesse started, then paused for a beat. His voice dropped a bit. "I've seen you."

Tim tilted his head and considered this. It meant two things - one, that Jesse knew he was a slut, and two, that Jesse had been paying attention. He tried for a moment to decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing, but gave up and decided it just was. Besides, Jesse was still following him.

"Yeah, well...," Tim started. "I guess I do."

"Why?," Jesse asked before he could stop it, raising his eyes to Tim's form again.

"Why?," Tim looked over at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...well, fuck," Jesse realized what an asshole he would sound like if he told Tim exactly what he meant, but he decided that the gates were open so why not let the flood out. "Do you feel like you have to take people home because it justifies your existance or something? Can't you just...be yourself, and not have to be good enough for other people?"

Tim found they'd both stopped walking as Jesse spoke and were now looking at each other, bathed in an orange glow. The sound of bugs swarming around the streetlight above them was the only thing keeping the silence at bay; Jesse staring at Tim and awaiting an answer and Tim looking back at him not knowing what to say. Again he had the unsettling feeling of Jesse looking through him instead of at him and he had to focus his eyes on the wall behind the boy before he could answer.

"If you didn't want to come with me you didn't have to," was the reply he managed.

"I know that," Jesse told him.

Looking back at Jesse curiously, Tim shrugged and started back down the street. A second later Jesse followed, aware that he wasn't going to answer the question but only more intrigued for that fact. Something about the man in front of him was practically begging for Jesse to dive into his brain and pick it apart, and Jesse helplessly followed that ill-advised sense of instinct.

Tim was a bit relieved when he heard Jesse's footsteps, hurrying to catch up with him. Even though he was wondering now if it was a good idea to bring this kid home with him. It seemed like he knew a lot more than he should, or sensed it, or something. No one had ever questioned his motives before, and fuck, that put Tim on edge a little bit.

Tim unlocked the door to the small apartment he shared with Matt, still contemplating whether this was the brightest of ideas. He nudged the door open with his foot and stepped into the messy room. He didn't have a chance to speak before Jesse had grasped his shoulders, shoved him against the wall and was kissing him hard.

Leaning away from him and breaking the kiss, Tim looked at Jesse with surprise apparent in his eyes. "That was unexpected...," he muttered.

"What?," Jesse raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it what you wanted anyway?"

When Tim didn't respond, Jesse moved forward and kissed him again, a lot less rough this time. Tim felt like he was hooked up to a very strong amp, thousands of watts of power running through his veins, but a strange feeling had settled into the pit of his stomach besides arousal. 'Isn't this what you wanted anyway?' The obvious answer was yes, he couldn't deny that, but he couldn't deny that he recognized the feeling in his stomach, too. It was guilt.

Their tongues battled for space inside their mouths, as if trying to decide who was really in control. Jesse didn't really need an answer to that question, though. By the time Tim's hands were sliding up his sides and pulling his shirt off, he'd known he was out of control for a while. His shirt was discarded onto the floor carelessly and he soon found that Tim's joined it by his doing.

Tim's hands roamed over Jesse's back with a sense of need as he pushed away from the wall. Jesse backed up, tugging Tim's hips close to his own and moaning at the contact. Tim crushed him against his own body, fingertips nearly bruising skin with their force, and relocated his mouth to Jesse's neck.

Jesse tilted his head to the side as Tim's warm lips traced his jawline and moved lower, sucking at his throat. His hands moved up from Tim's hips, sliding over the older man's back with nails scraping gently. Tim growled at the sensation, dipping his tongue into the hollow of Jesse's throat as he leaned his head back. Deft hands moved lower, fingers slipping through belt loops and tugging Jesse closer to him possessively.

"Fuck...," Jesse murmured, eyes dropping shut at the pressure against his erection. He understood a little more now, why Tim did this all the time. It felt fucking good.

Tim backed up, pulling Jesse along with his fingers still locked through the boy's beltloops. Jesse's eyes snapped open again as he was dragged, looking curiously at Tim. Tim gave him a feral sort of grin.

"We have to move...he'll be home soon," he explained, yanking Jesse into his darkened bedroom. Jesse complied submissively, crashing into Tim's chest. His mouth seemed to take on a mind of it's own, moving agonizingly slowly across Tim's collar bone and sucking lightly on his shoulder. Tim groaned, Jesse's hands snaking around his waist and up his spine. Every touch of the boy's skin against his was burning him, hotter than fire, and Tim forgot about the guilt. He only knew one thing - no one else had ever felt this good.

With a rough pull, Tim landed on the bed with Jesse on top of him. Jesse's lips detatched themselves from Tim's skin, coming back to rest on his own. Tim tangled his hand in Jesse's hair, deepening the already feverish kiss. His opposite hand slid down Jesse's back, underneath the waistband of his jeans. Jesse squirmed a bit at the touch, but moaned when Tim grasped his ass and pushed their bodies together hard.

Breaking the kiss in favor of breathing, Tim replaced his hands on Jesse's crotch. He rubbed them roughly across the bulge that had formed there, one moving up to unbuckle his belt. A few moments later Jesse was freed of his pants, pressed onto his back, and had Tim on top of him. Tim's mouth pressed bruisingly against his own and his hands moved over Tim's skin, reaching and groping for everything all at once. Tim lifted off of Jesse momentarily, undoing his own pants and tossing them blindly to the floor before laying over the boy again.

Jesse made incoherent noises of pleasure as Tim licked and sucked across his chest, his tongue swirling around a nipple before moving on to the other. He lifted his back off of the matress as Tim unexpectedly pulled his boxers of and encircled his cock with his fingers.

"Oooh fuck...," he moaned, throwing his head back as those fingers moved over his cock, their touch excruciatingly light but burning all at the same time. Tim became more comfortable as he jacked the other boy off, his mouth still exploring any uncharted skin.

Jesse literally jumped into the air at another, more intrusive touch. One of Tim's fingers had pressed against his ass then slowly slid inside, but Tim froze at Jesse's startled movement. He jerked his head back and looked questioningly at Jesse.

"Should I...," he began, but Jesse cut him off.

"Fuck no, don't stop," he pleaded in a low voice, wrapping an arm around the back of Tim's neck and raising up to lick his lower lip.

Tim resumed stoking Jesse, but he pulled his head back. He looked over the boy with a sense of epiphany.

"You've never done this before, have you?," he asked quietly. Jesse looked up at him, his face beautifully radiant and basked in sweat. Almost hesitantly, he shook his head.

For some reason, Tim found himself even more turned on by that admission. He dropped his head and kissed Jesse passionately, his hand moving more swiftly over his erection. Jesse bucked his hips, thrashing wildly under the other man and moaning loudly as he came. Tim's finger slid out of him, and Tim moved away, but Jesse was too blinded by the ecstasy he was experiencing to notice much.

Tim returned a moment later, his fingers pressing against Jesse's opening again but now coated in a cool, slimy liquid. He tensed up as Tim inserted two fingers and Tim leaned down to kiss his shoulder gently.

"Just relax," he whispered, and Jesse did after a moment. Tim moved his hand back and forth slowly, stretching the orifice gently. Jesse was just getting used to the strange new sensation when it left him.

Tim shed his boxers and sat back on his heels, coating himself with ample lubrication. Jesse watched him, silently, feeling more than a little nervous but not protesting. Tim leaned back over him, pressing his mouth against Jesse's and kissing him slowly, but with no less fever than before. As they kissed he pulled Jesse's legs up, pressing them against his chest and positioning himself against Jesse.

"Okay?," he whispered, and Jesse nodded, his eyes surprisingly clear of fear or nervousness now. He pressed into Jesse and those eyes disappeared behing his eyelids, clenched tightly. Tim ran one hand lightly over Jesse's chest, trying to ignore the pleasure his own body was experiencing and make the boy relax. After a moment he did and Tim pressed in a bit more, moving into Jesse inch by inch.

Once he was fully inside Jesse, Tim paused and looked down at him. His eyes were still shut, though not as tightly now, and his lower lip was drawn into his mouth. Tim kissed his neck very lightly then pulled away to look at him again.

"Jesse?," he whispered. Jesse's eyes shot open and he looked back up at Tim. They layed liked that, silent, for a few minutes, reading each other with their eyes. Finally Jesse spoke.

"It's okay. Go ahead," he told Tim, his voice quiet but his tone decisive. Tim nodded and pulled out of him slowly, then pushed back in. He worked up a smooth rhythm, not being able to bite back the moans that came with it. Jesse simply held onto his shoulders and rocked with him.

Suddenly, Jesse arched his back, his eyes closing tight again and his lips forming an 'O' of surprise as Tim's cock brushed across his prostate gland. "What the fuck was that...," he muttered breathlessly, and Tim didn't give him any response besides grinning and repeating the action. Jesse practically purred the second time, and Tim sped up some.

It was hard to tell who was making more noise, but both were too caught up in the feelings they were experiencing to even try. Tim was still as gentle as he could make himself be, despite Jesse's constant moans and clawing at his back. He rocked against the boy, his own fingers dug deeply into Jesse's hips until he felt release coming. He pushed in hard once more then pulled completely out of Jesse, collapsing onto him as everything around him disappeared.

Tim was seeing stars, felt the world turn upside down, and every other overused cliche pertaining to sex. He was only aware of Jesse's hands moving slowly over his back and reaffirmed the thought that it had never been this good before. He steadily started to regain his senses, rolling away from Jesse to lay on his back.

"Holy fuck," he murmured, barely audible as he caught his breath. Jesse, laying next to him, nodded quietly, pain taking place of the intense pleasure he'd been experiencing moments earlier. Tim seemed to take note of that, looking over at him. His blue eyes traced Jesse's nude form for a minute, then grazed back up to his face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jesse told him, sounding surprisingly sure of himself. Then he tilted his head. "Are you okay?"

Tim raised an eyebrow at the question. "Of course...," he said, sounding a little lost. Jesse smirked in a strange way and curled up against Tim's side. Tim pulled dragged a blanket over the both of them, letting Jesse's head rest against his chest. Jesse fell asleep almost too easily, but Tim couldn't help staying awake a little longer. That strange feeling of guilt had returned to his stomach and was keeping him up.

'Are you okay?' The words bugged him, they seemed to be more intrusive than usual. Maybe just because of the tone Jesse had said them with. But what bugged him even more than that was the following smirk that Jesse had given him. It wasn't the usual amused smirk. It was something else...it was a smirk that said 'I doubt it'.

Jesse woke up the next morning, unsurprised that he was alone. He'd hadn't expected Tim to be there when he woke up, or even kidded himself that he might be. Sitting up and stretching languidly, he spotted a note on the pillow next to him. He picked it up and looked over it.

Jesse -

Had to work. Hopefully see you at a show or something.

Thanks, Tim.

Jesse smirked to himself. Maybe it was just an inflated ego, but he sensed that Tim had taken a little too much care in making the note sound careless. He flipped it over, finding a nearby pen and scrawling across the back then resting it back on the pillow.

Standing up, he winced slightly at the pain that shot through his body and groaned very minutely. After it had subsided, he went about finding his clothes on the floor and getting dressed. He leaned over to tie his shoes, not too fond of the idea of sitting down just then, and scanned the floor for his shirt. Remembering it was in the other room, he finished with his shoes and headed out the door. He knew that just as Tim had left before he woke up, Tim wouldn't want him there when he returned.

He ambled into the living room but froze upon spotting the figure on the couch. Matt looked up at him and smiled slightly over the rim of his coffee cup.

"Hey Jesse."

"Hi Matt," Jesse replied, keeping the confusion out of his voice. The last thing he'd expected to see when he walked out of Tim's room, aside from Tim himself, was probably the bassist he'd met a few weeks ago. Matt's face suggested that he wasn't at all surprised to see Jesse there, and Jesse assumed he'd known what Tim was up to last night. He moved towards the door to retrieve his shirt.

Matt cleared his throat and leaned back against the second hand couch. "I really would have thought you had more sense than that after talking to you."

Jesse pulled his shirt over his head then looked back at Matt inquiringly. "More sense than what?"

"More sense than fucking my roommate," Matt told him flatly.

"Oh," Jesse replied. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, shrugging a bit. "I'm allowed lapses in logic."

Matt gave him a small, knowing smile. "Sure you are," he conceeded, then took another sip of his coffee. Jesse figured that was his cue to leave so he stood up and headed for the door. Just as his hand reached the knob, Matt called out to him again.

"You can't save him, Jesse."

He turned around slowly to look at the other man, his eyes speaking volumes. He shrugged and smiled a bit. "Maybe. Doesn't mean I can't try."

Matt shook his head hopelessly as Jesse pulled open the door and left.

Tim returned home later that afternoon, finding Matt in much the same position he'd been all day except now he was holding a bass. Tim grinned at him as he entered the house.

"Hey, Matt," he greeted his friend jovially.

"I really can't fucking believe you sometimes, Tim," Matt responded, looking up at him. Tim arched an eyebrow at him.

"You're still pissed at me for bringing that kid home last night?"

"I'm not pissed," Matt told him. "I'm appalled."

Tim raised his hands from his sides. "What? I do it all the time."

"Did ya even talk to him?," Matt asked, tilting his head curiously. "Even take a chance to get to know the thing you were breaking before you broke it? Do you even know his name?"

Tim scowled lightly at Matt, wondering why exactly he was reacting this way. "Yeah, of course I know his name. It's - "

"Jesse," Matt finished for him. "Will you remember it in a week?"

Tim shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "What's up with you, Matt? Did you know him or something?"

"Yes, I know him. That's present tense, by the way, just because you aren't fucking him doesn't mean he doesn't exist anymore," Matt replied harshly.

Tim's scowl deepened, utterly bewildered. "I didn't break anyone," he argued weakly. "He said it was okay."

"Of course he said it was okay. That's the kind of person he is."

"He told me he didn't ever go home with people he didn't know, though," Tim defended himself. "If that was the sort of person he is, then why would he care anyway?"

"Because he does care, Tim," Matt tried to explain. Tim gave him another look of confusion and he shook his head. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

Matt looked back to his fretboard and started playing again, and Tim stared at him for a moment then headed to his room.

Peeling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes as he entered the room, Tim flopped onto his bed. It still smelled like sex, and Tim inhaled deeply, basking in the memories of last night more than the scent. It had been amazing, like nothing else. The small gnawing of guilt he'd been feeling all day had been intensified by Matt's inquisition, but Tim was trying to push it out of his mind. Jesse was just another kid, no matter how good he was in bed...right?

Rolling onto his back, Tim heard the slight crinkling of paper. He dug the note he'd written to Jesse before leaving that morning from under his shoulder and read over it. He noted there were indentions on it that weren't there before, and hadn't been caused by him crumpling it. He turned the paper over curiously and read the words scratched onto the back.

Tim -

Just who are you trying to impress, anyway?

- J

Tim sighed, and all at once knew he was wrong. He let his hand drop back beside him and spoke quietly, but aloud.

"Yeah, Matt," he muttered. "I understand."