'IF'
IF it were not for Vietnam My life might mean so much more IF I had not seen the sights I saw Nor been a Corpsman in Our Corps IF I had not stared death in the eye And watched as death stared back IF so many of my buddies had not died Maybe my life would still be on track But most days My Life feels worthless And I think that I know why For I believe in Nam with my buddies Is where I should have died IF I had died there in Nam Then I would not be here My Life would have ended long ago No Confusion, No Remorse, No fear And although my body survived the war There is a part of me still there Now I merely "Go through the Motions" Doing my best to TRY to care I have stood firmly in the Past and watched As the Present came and went The Future has unfolded But my "Time Warp" has been bent For no matter where I try to get I end up in Yesterday Back in a war so long ago In a land so far away I hear the screams I hear the cries I do my best But My Buddy still dies I am stuck in the Past In a land void of life There is no happiness Only pain and strife This is the land of gloom Which squeezes its' grip on me I am stuck forever in the Past With death and misery I hear the echoes of the many lies That my Country falsely told "Go serve and fight in Vietnam Stop Communism before it takes hold" IF I had not believed every word IF I had only questioned what was said IF I had realized then what I realized now Maybe "My Soul" would not seem dead I trusted My Country I did not want to let her down So I served and did the best I could But it was My Country who let me down Written by PFC Loyde P. "Snake" Arender, USMC on July 01, 2000, this poem "IF" was co-written, inspired by and is dedicated to one of the best friends a Marine can have "My Corpsman" HM2 R. Keith "Rocky" Miller who "patched me up" on 3 of the 5 times that I was WIA in Vietnam while serving with Kilo Company 3rd Battalion 26th Marines in 1969. Semper Fidelis Loyde P. "Snake" Arender
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