Hey how ya doin? my name is Guido an i'm gonna guide ya true dis caper.
Ya See dere's  these two wise guys who really aint to  wise if  ya know 
what I mean. Dey have dis stoopid desire to make themselves to be sumbody.
An what it is, is dat they have this impeccable idea to rob a house of 
monetary repute if ya get my drift. I aint gonna blow it fer 'em, we got 
a code ya know! Sumtimes tings just dont go da way ya wannem to, but a wise 
guys godda do what a wise guys godda do. Now da pieces of dis puzzle jus dont 
jive, and sumtimes dey fit togedder like a thong bikini on a Sumo wrestler, 
it'll work but it aint pretty, badda bing badda boom. Never da less it's the
effort dat count's right. Ya jus godda have da faith that moves mole hills an 
not worry aboudit. It may turn out to be an effort in fertility, but ya godda 
give em an A for consumption.

Ya see these two guy's, AKA as Tony  Big Thumbs and Little Nicky Numbnuts 

aint what ya call the sharpest knives in da drawer but they got a strong constipation, 

and  that makes up fer their lack of imagination and moral indebtedness. So in da 
world of crime and maladjustment they got what it takes to purport success in
nether regions of ill gained gratuity. Are ya following me so far?

Here is the fractural account aboud how Little Nicky Numbnuts got into a jam with the 

racket a few weeks back, it seems dat he had a case of sticky fingers when it came to 

counting the loot. They came up shorter than a midgets zipper, so Numbnuts had to grab 

a hat til he could figure out arestitutional consolodation. That's when he and Tony big thumbs

put their noggins together to try an restore the depleted monetary malfunction. They learned a valuable lesson, that being this, If your gonna ride the road ya godda pay da toll. Yeah I know 

Beretta usta say dat all da time but aint it da truth? 

Now,  these two bad guys decided dat they was gonna knock off some joint and pay the misinterpreted funds back to the ill tempered proprieters of the missing numbers money. 

Which would set them straight in da eyes of the under world. Then they could resume their reputational performance and return Little Nicky Numb nuts to the stamina to which he was accustomed to. Thinking along da lines of self preservatory longevity they chose to heist a 

bundle at the local seven-eleven store.Dat way they wouldn't need to boost a short for da

getaway. Being in da neighborhood it wouldbe real convenient, cause it was within walking 

distance from their digs. In their eyes convenience store took on a whole new meaning.

 Piece of cake eh?

Now here's the skinney on this capernicous caper. it was aboud midnight on a saturday, when 
Tony big thumbs and Little Nicky Numbnuts decides to kick open the glass door of the 8th an 
Broadway Seven-Eleven store. Trouble is the door opened out an not in, Little Nicky Numb nuts 
broke his foot an Tony Bigthumbs crashed right through da door, sliding in like Babe Ruth 
towards home plate. It was just a matter of seconds before Numbnuts hopped in on one foot to 
rescue the dazed and confused Tony Big thumbs. Nicky yells, Ouch ouch,  this is a stick up,

an trips over the sprawled out Tony Big thumbs who is laying there drooling on da floor. Once 
again Tony is clobbered when Nicky numbnuts knees him in the back of the noggin sending Tony 
into la la land. So there in front of the register lays these two stoopid hoods, one of em is 
drooling and the other one trying to nurse a broken foot and a sporty new broken wrist. So 
Numbnuts finally gets to his foot and stands there hopping on his one good leg, while his wrist 
is bent and flopping around like a gay guy at a one legged ass kicking contest. Meanwhile da 
gangsta Tony has managed to crawl to his hands and knees again. He raised his head and his 

eyes lit up like he just seen a ghost or sumthin but he woke up a just in time to see the Arab 

Rajah Akmehd, the store owner clock him with a 2 liter bottle of pepsi cola, which promptly 

exploded upon impact sending Tony Two Thumbs to a carbonated Val-hallah. Semi-smileing he 

laid there fizzing like a fresh dropped alka seltza in a glass of water. The spray sent Nicky 

Numb nuts into a spin, and losing his balance he fell forward into the display of motor oil which promptly sent him sliding upon the oil slick into Rajah, knocking his feet out from underneath

him. Which was a good thing cause Rajah was gonna crease his skull with a two foot pepperoni

stick. Now, Here we have Rajah, laying there on the floor of this Seven-eleven Along with a

 fizzing Tony Big thumbs and an oil soaked Nicky Numbnuts who's still spinning when the fuzz

bust in to see what the commotions all aboud. Needless to say there were no words to explain

this befuddled mass of inexplicatory happenings, so they were all hauled off to da hoosegow. 

Rajah was released on the stipulation that he would not apply any more terroristic assaults with
pepperoni sticks and pepsi bombs upon robbers of the general public. As far as Tony big thumbs
and Little Nicky Numbnuts goes I aint seen nor heard from em in a year now. Guess they was

sent upthe river. The moral of the story is this, Well hell there aint any moral to this story, just

theconsequences of a bungled heist of a seven-eleven by Big thumbs and Numbnuts, both of

whichis a bad combination for the mis-guided extraction of funds by a couple a not so wise-wise

guy's Eh!  

Keep it honest, Cause the lesson of this indigent self illusional perpetration is that crime
don't pay, Unless you get away with it..heh, heh!

Watch out for Arab's weilding their meat sticks eh!

Later, Guido