Chapter Twenty-Four
Interlude II: I am a Slave
I am a product of my past. My history has forged me into what I am now. Each outcome from the path that my life has followed has lead me into the dark street. If things had happened differently I would not be where I am now.
Things would be different. A family to love and hold. Joy at seeing the rising sun of a new day. Hope from being able to make something good and decent out of life. The promise of being something greater. Something better. To make something out of myself.
I would have had friends. People that I would care for. That I would help and guide as they helped and guided me. In their support I would draw strength. It would be an honest kind of support. Not the kind that was demanded due to the situation, but the kind that comes from just wanting to help.
I would grow. Become stronger. Become wiser. I would see the world in a different life. I would see different parts of the world and realize how rich life can be with all its joys and experiences.
Things would be different. Would I be as happy? Would I be as glad? Would I even notice? Would I know how to live a life so different to the one that I am in? How would I act in such a world where my gut instinct to do things is the wrong instinct? Am I not made for this kind of life where hope and joy is commonplace? Would I feel alone in such a promising life?
I wouldn't. I wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't know how to react. I would be lost and confused. All because of the events in my life which have shaped the way I perceive the world. The why I view my own existence is a reflection of what has happened to me. I cannot imagine living any other way simply because I would have no idea how to live that way.
I am a slave to my past.
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