X-Men, The Live Action Film!

by HooDoo

Disclaimer: Standard stuff. No money made. Characters not mine. Please don�t sue.

And yes, I did like the movie. Very enjoyable. But the X-men have opinions that may or may not coincide with my own . . .

Enjoy!



Jean voiced the thought everyone was pondering as they walked out of the theater.

"So," she said timidly, "what did you think?"

Scott caught her hand. "It was okay."

"Really?" Logan questioned, cupping his hands around a match to light his cigar. He took a drag. "I think I smoke more in real life."

"It�s PG-13, Wolvie," Jubilee piped up. "They didn�t want you corrupting kids and stuff. Although they did have you riding a motorcycle without a helmet."

He grunted in agreement. "Yer right. Even if they did make it Cyke�s bike."

"Well," Professor Xavier broke in quietly, "I personally believe that, although the story was nothing like our trials and tribulations in reality, it will be plenty for the general public to absorb. And Patrick Stewart did a marvelous job of portraying me."

"Don�t even get me started on that!" spit Logan, to everyone�s surprise.

Remy, who had already made it to the van, turned back with a start. Everyone stared at Logan.

"Oh come on!" he continued, seeing the astonishment on their faces. "Hugh Jackman? He�s so friggin� young! I mean, he did an okay job an� everything, but please. Everyone knows Kurt Russell should�ve been cast as me!"

"Kurt Russell?!"

Logan stared back at them as if they were slow. "Yeah�Kurt Russell. You ever see Escape from New York? Or Escape from LA? Think about it�Snake Plissken is just like me! Snake is Wolverine!"

Thinking it over a second, Remy agreed. "He be right."

"I guess I do wish Nicole Kidman would have been cast as me," Jean said quietly.

"And what was with me being a doctor?"

"That was so they didn�t have to put Hank in the film," Ororo replied sagely.

The others nodded.

"Poor Hank. Should we tell him?"

They venomously shook their heads.

"Well, ah have tah say ah was sorely disappointed with Anna Paquin as me," Rogue, who�d been quiet until now, said loudly. "She�s an English girl! Her Southern accent kept fadin� in an� out, when she remembered tah do it at all!"

"You know," Scott said thoughtfully, "the guy playing me . . . what�s his name? James Marsden?"

"Wow! Was he a hottie!" Jean interrupted.

Scott glanced quickly at her. Jubilee clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Oh�oh, I�m sorry, honey!" she corrected herself, blushing. "Please, go on."

"As I was saying, that hot James Marsden actor depicted me very well," Scott continued. "Although I had always pictured Ben Affleck or Keanu Reeves in the role. But . . . am I always such a stick in the mud?"

"You mean a dick?" Logan snorted.

Everyone cracked up.

Before Scott could retort, Remy said,

"At least you all be in de movie. Poor Remy, he get no mention at all!"

"That�s right!" Jubilee hastened to add. "You were all doin� stuff, and all my cameo was was me sittin� at a stupid desk!"

"She did look like you, though, darlin�," Logan pointed out, slipping an arm over her shoulders.

"I guess . . .."

Professor Xavier interrupted the group. "All right, everybody, all right. I know everyone has an opinion about the film, and that is fine. But may I ask that we continue our conversation in the vehicle on the way home? We�re beginning to draw a crowd."

Sure enough, movie goers were stopping and pointing. In s second someone would be bold enough to come and ask for an autograph.

With that, the team packed into the van, Ororo driving.

"So what about the bad guys?" Jubilee questioned. "I think Ray Park made Toad really cool!"

It opened up a new can of worms, and they argued happily the whole way home.