Wolverine's Rant

To the tune of the famous Canadian beer commerical, "Joe's 
Rant". Take it away, Wolvie...
   
    by Dark Mark
  
	Hey. I'm not a Mountie, or a guy in a red-and-white uniform with a leaf on it.
  
	And I don't live in Stately Wayne Manor, or fear Kryptonite, or drive a 
	Wolverinemobile.
  
	And I don't know Donna, Gar, or Dick from the Titans, although I'm sure 
	they're really, really nice.
  
	I have a Professor, not a Chairman or a Legion Leader.

  	I speak English, French, Japanese, and, thanks to that sorry sonuva Gambit, 
	Cajun, NOT American. And I pronounce it "Sub-Mareener", not "Sub-Marrriner." 
	Sue me.

  	I can proudly sew up my costume whenever it gets ripped around the chest, 
	which is a lot. Makes me feel like Doc Savage or Sgt. Fury. 

	I believe in ripping some bad guy into a million little pieces, NOT terminating with 	prejudice. Confrontation, NOT sucking up to Magneto. 

	And that the Beaver is a noble and useful animal, NOT A ONE-SHOT VILLAIN FROM HOWARD 	THE DUCK.
  
	A Legacy is a virus, a Flatscan is somebody who ain't got a Legacy, and a 
	Summers is a guy who leads a group of X-Men, not some blonde bimbo who kills 
	vampires.
 
 	Canada is the third largest producer of mutants and superheroes! The first and 
	foremost producer of Canadians! And, hey...they've got ME! Nothing more needs 
	be said.
 
	MY NAME IS WOLVERINE! AND I AM A CANUCK! WHAT'S IT TO YA, BUB??
  
	Thank ya.
  
	(pause while "The Maple Leaf Forever" is played and hankies and Kleenexes make 
  	the rounds)