DELICIOUS....DISTURBING part 8 Author: vangiekitty Disclaimer: The X-Men aren’t mine. If they were, they’d all get a lot more action. J Here is more. Do you like it? Let me know. Sorry if the content offends anyone but I figure even the X-men get off sometimes, right? At least they do in my fics. J vangiekitty Delicious…. Disturbing part 8 A scant five minuets after she had scrambled into her sleeping bag, Jean heard Logan enter the tent and throw himself tiredly onto his blankets. She tried unsuccessfully not to think about what had tired him out. “Sorry, Darlin’.” He said shortly. “’S Ok, Logan.” She mumbled, trying to sound sleepy. “Go to sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.” “I kinda doubt that, Jeanie.” Logan sighed heavily and turned over. Soon his regular breathing filled the tent. Jean tried to follow his example, but she had been sleeping most of the day while Logan drove. And try as she might, she just couldn’t get the image of Logan touching himself out of her mind. She couldn’t help thinking of how huge…No. She had to stop! But the thoughts and images wouldn’t stop. Jean grew more and more uncomfortable as the heat grew between her legs. If only she dared to seek release. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to touch herself. Why should Logan be able to relieve his urges and not her? She felt that at the very least it might wear her out and allow her to get some sleep. Jean listened carefully; Logan wasn’t exactly snoring, but he was breathing deeply and evenly. She was almost positive he was asleep. As quietly as possible, Jean squirmed over on her back and slipped off her sweat pants. They were too hot to sleep in anyway. She spread her legs and began to stroke herself, trying not to make a sound, but she couldn’t help moaning aloud when she finally reached her climax. She had always been very vocal during sex, a fact that used to annoy Scott to no end. Beside her, she heard Logan say dryly, “If you need to take care of yerself Darlin’, don’t mind me, just go on and do it.” Jean froze with her small right hand still between her legs. Quickly she snatched it away and clamped her legs shut. “Caught red-handed.” She thought, stupidly. Aloud she said, “Um, Logan. I thought you were asleep.” “Well I was Darlin’, until you woke me up. What’s goin’ on over there anyway?” “That’s none of your business!” Jean snapped. She felt utterly mortified at the idea that Logan had heard her in such a private moment. Of course, she had witnessed him in the same situation earlier that evening, but that was different. At least she’d had the decency not to mention it! Beside her in the dark, Logan cleared his throat. “You’re right, Darlin’. What you do is none o’ my business. If it’s any consolation, you’re not the only one who had to take care of yourself tonight.” “I know.” Jean replied, surprising herself . “I watched you.” She heard him chuckle, a deep rich sound that ran through her and made her shiver. “Tit for tat, eh Darlin’? Well, I suppose I should ask if ya liked what ya saw.” “I don’t know.” She said, surprising herself again. She was just full of surprises tonight, she thought to herself. “I only have Scott to compare it to,” she continued, “But it seemed… ah… rather large. I don’t see how you could possibly…um…*use* it . I mean,” she hesitated, “Scott wasn’t nearly that large but it was always…kind of a …tight fit.” She couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Logan took it in stride, however. “Ol’ Cyke probably just didn’t take the time ta make sure you were ready, Darlin’.” He remarked, matter-of-factly. “What does that have to do with…the way we used to fit together?” She was intrigued. Next to Logan, she realized, she was almost totally inexperienced. He sounded so sure of himself and she sort of envied him for it. “It has everything ta do with it, Darlin’.” He explained, carefully. “Look, did Scott ever check ta make sure you were… aroused enough to…accommodate him before he just went divin’ in?” Jean felt herself blushing at the very personal question. “Um…no.” she admitted “It was always just pretty much whenever he felt like it. Which wasn’t very often.” She added. It no longer seemed strange to be talking to Logan about such intimate secrets. Maybe the fact that they had witnessed each other in such compromising positions made her feel more at ease discussing her sex life, or the lack of it. “But then,” she resumed after a pause, “Sex with Scott was always pretty… well, let’s just say I never saw any fireworks.” “Shame.” Logan remarked. “Pretty lady like you deserves fireworks, Jeanie. So ol’ Cyke didn’t please ya, huh?” “Well, at first he did. When we first got together I was a… well, I’d never been with anyone else. So I didn’t have anyone to compare him to. But he was just never very, I don’t know, adventurous sexually.” Logan snorted. “*Adventurous*?” Ya wanted to play Tarzan and swing from the chandelier or somethin’?” Jean heard the laughter in his voice and laughed herself. “Not quite. I just wanted to try… new things. But he wouldn’t, mostly.” She sighed. Logan rolled up on his side and looked down at the delicate profile of the woman lying beside him in the dark. She was so beautiful! He had never expected to have such an intimate conversation with her, but somehow, it didn’t seem strange at all. “What kind of new things, Darlin’?” he asked curiously. “Oh, I don’t know. Different positions. Um… oral stuff, I guess.” She was embarrassed again. “Can’t believe we’re talking about this!” she thought. But she seemed unable to stop this wholly inappropriate conversation. Besides,somehow, she felt Logan understood her. “You mean oral sex? Cyke didn’t even want ta try oral sex?” Logan was incredulous. “Um…no. Once I tried to..um…you know, go down on him.” God, she felt like such a kid, explaining this to Logan. “I read in a woman’s magazine you should… Anyway, he pushed me away. We didn’t have sex for two weeks afterwards. I got the idea that he thought what I did was…inappropriate .” Slutty, her mind said. “I didn’t have the nerve to try again.” “So I guess he never…went down on you either.” Logan said slowly, unbelieving. “God, Darlin’, how the hell could he resist it? Resist you?” “No he never did.” Jean felt herself blushing so hard, she felt sure she must be glowing in the dark. “Scott resisted my charms quite well, I guess.” “He didn’t deserve you, Darlin’.” Logan said darkly. “How could he have such a beautiful woman and not take the time and effort to pleasure you properly? Why any man in his right mind..” His voice trailed off. But suddenly, though she wasn’t even touching him, Jean received a clear mental image of herself, naked and sitting astride Logan’s face. The picture was so clear, so real, that for a moment she could almost feel his mouth… “Logan, please!” she cried, blushing furiously. She was horrified, yet dreadfully intrigued by the image. “Besides,” she added, without thinking, “I’d crush your head!” “Did you catch that thought, Darlin’? Sorry.” He remarked, seemingly completely unembarrassed to have shared such an intimate fantasy inadvertently. “But you forget,” he added with a low chuckle, “I’ve got an adamantium skull. You couldn’t crush it with a sledge hammer, let alone yer sweet little… self.” He finished lamely. He cleared his throat, finally aware of having crossed the invisible line. “Um. So I guess Cyke just didn’t want ta try new things.” He returned to the earlier topic of conversation. Jean was relieved. It was still an embarrassing subject, her lack of a sex life, but it was infinitely better than the previous tangent they’d somehow gotten off on. “No. He didn’t. He never wanted to try any…um…position but, you know, the man on top…?” “Missionary position.” Logan supplied dryly. “Yeah. And he didn’t even want to do that very often.” “He…. denied you often, Darlin’?” The question was matter of fact, but Jean heard the compassion and the hunger beneath the surface of the words. “All the time. Oh, Logan- I don’t know why I’m telling you all this! But it’s just that… well, I never felt like I got enough, you know? And I never knew why. I thought I was a …a slut. That’s what Scott said. He said only a slut would want it so much! But the professor, he told me before we left that it wasn’t my fault. That it was part of my mutation. And part of me wants to believe that, because then my…feelings, my cravings wouldn’t be my fault. But another part of me is scared to believe it because if the professor is right about that, then what if he’s right about everything?” “What else did he tell ya, Darlin’?” Logan asked quietly. “He said,” Jean was crying openly now, the hot tears rolling slowly down her face. “He said that if I didn’t find someone to …satisfy me, my body would take control. That I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I don’t want that to happen, Logan! But I don’t know what I can possibly do about it. I want to wait until I find someone who loves me, someone I can love in return. I don’t want to just…. you know. I mean, I’m not into casual sex. I’m just not that way! Or at least, I don’t think I could be that way. I hope not.” But her voice sounded dead, and hopeless. “I know you’re not like that, Darlin’.” Logan soothed. It was on the tip of his tongue to say, “ I love you. I want to be there for you, Jeanie.” But he stopped himself. It didn’t matter that it was the absolute truth, it would sound too opportunistic. Like he was only saying he loved her to get into her pants. But, God! He did love her, so much! If only he could make her see it. He promised himself that if he ever got a chance to be the one she turned to, he would satisfy her every need, emotional and physical. It was almost criminal the way that idiot Cyke had neglected her! And made her feel like a whore for wanting what it was only natural for her body to crave. He instinctively understood how hard life had been for Jean. She was highly sexed and yet too well bred to do anything about it. It would probably be better for her if she would just give in to her body’s incessant needs. But she would never do that. He remembered some of what the Professor had told him before they left and feared for Jean’s sanity. Professor Xavier had explained to him that such an extreme sexual dilemma could induce a schism: a temporary double personality. He would have to watch for the warning signs. But he didn’t think he could follow the Professor’s instructions in the event of such a situation. Jean would never forgive him. And he could never forgive himself… Beside him, he heard her, still sobbing quietly. “I just don’t know what to do.” She whispered softly. “I wish I could tell ya, Darlin’.” He replied, the longing in his voice filling the small, dark tent. “But it seems like I can’t help ya without hurtin’ ya. You know what I mean.” It wasn’t a question. Jean understood him. She felt a strange affinity for her friend that she never had before. Somehow, despite their personal difficulties of the past few days, or maybe because of them, they had grown closer, much closer. They had talked about things tonight that she had been ashamed to admit to her best girlfriends. She knew she was starting to have feelings for him but it was all so confusing. Were her feelings true and real? Or were they simply the product of the strong sexual urgings of her body, trying to get her to mate? And , more to the point, would Logan even want to have a relationship with her? After all, she hadn’t behaved in a very ladylike manner lately. After what he had heard her doing…and she had admitted to watching him do the same! She never should have revealed what she saw, never! But it had been so easy to talk to Logan, so right somehow. She didn’t feel that he judged her as Scott had. And he had behaved like a perfect gentleman throughout their whole conversation, well… except for that one thought. The image flashed across her brain again, making her blush. It was all too confusing. Better to sleep on it, maybe things would seem clearer in the morning. Drying her tears, she decided to do just that. “Good night, Jeanie.” Logan’s voice was low and comforting; it made her feel at ease. Finally, after her physical and emotional release, she felt able to sleep. “Good night, Logan. Thanks for listening to me.” She mumbled, then sleep overcame her. She didn’t know that Logan lay awake, long into the night watching her beautiful profile in the hazy half-light and thinking…. AUTHOR’S NOTE: Well, look: I tried to do this tastefully but I’m not sure you can do a Tasteful story that includes autoeroticism . But anyway, I tried. Sorry if I didn’t succeed. vangiekitty P S- do I have to mention again that this is an alternate universe? I think it’s pretty obvious, don’t you?