Chapter 9: Transformations

 

Standing at his threshold, she looked pretty much like Gnash remembered. She still had the soft features and the even softer curves. There were no obvious manifestations that something was different: no horns or spines, no facial ridges or fangs, no blinking neon sign saying “demon residing here”. At times her eyes seemed to glow a luminous green, but otherwise she appeared human. The way she looked at him now though, she carried herself with an otherworldly confidence that was definitely a departure from the Tara he’d seen through the eyes of his special statue. Gnash smiled graciously. “Please come in.”

 

She entered with just the slightest inclination of her head. “This shouldn’t take long.”

 

Gesturing with his taloned hand, he offered her a seat. She at first looked as if she would decline but then sat herself down on his old-fashioned chair. He took a chair opposite her. “Would you like something to drink?’

 

“No, thank you. I would prefer we get straight to business.”

 

Gnash nodded. “A demon after my own heart. I am Gnash. May I call you Tapas? Is that your true name?”

 

She frowned at him. “No. Please call me Tara. That’s my name.”

 

It was Gnash’s turn to frown. He scrutinized her, trying to discern if there was any way that the orb transformation might’ve gone wrong, but he couldn’t figure how that could be. He sensed a demon presence. Was Tara powerful enough to suppress the demon?

 

As if reading his concern, she said, “The orb was properly invoked. Tapas is here.” She placed a hand on her chest. “That‘s why I’m here. You placed the restriction on the orb’s invocation. I wouldn’t be here if it didn’t happen correctly.”

 

This was true, Gnash decided. The restriction he placed on the orb that she come here first wouldn’t have worked if the orb was unsuccessful, but he had expected the demon to take over its human host, not the other way around. Tara did seem to thrum with great power of demon origin, so why was the demon staying subdued? Gnash was now getting concerned. He’d wanted a powerful ally or at least to remove Tara from their side. He didn’t want a powerful opponent. He decided belatedly that perhaps he should’ve reinvoked the statue to watch what happened after the merging. To figure the current situation out, he would have to dig a little for information. “Please, tell me what happened after the orb was invoked. Did the other witch, Willow, harm you?”

 

“She tried to stop me, but I didn’t let her.”

 

“Did you kill her?” That wasn’t necessarily part of the restriction he’d placed on the orb, but the demon, Tapas, likely would’ve tried to kill someone after such a long seclusion without a proper avenue for violence.

 

Tara seemed slightly offended by his questions. “No. I only did what was necessary to get her out of the way and protect myself. I won’t hurt her unless I have to. I do love her.”

 

Gnash’s confusion and concern only grew with this answer. “I can’t allow you to oppose me,” he warned.

 

“And I won’t unless you make me do so. I love Willow and my friends, but Tapas has given me a new freedom, and I have you to thank for that.” She sat up even straighter as if outwardly manifesting her newfound confidence. “Before, I was afraid of using magic freely, and that restricted my abilities. Tapas has power to give me, and lives for the freeing of that power. I understand now, and I understand how my powers were restrained before when they didn’t have to be. You’re part of the reason for that, but I can’t let you destroy Willow as a show of my gratitude, so if that’s what you’re expecting...” She shook her head in negation. “Maybe we can bargain on the rest. I’m sure we can come to an understanding that is mutually beneficial to both of us.”

 

Gnash smiled. Oh, this was most interesting indeed. He was a demon who used magic to further his purpose. Tara now housed a demon for whom magic was the purpose. He was sure they’d be able to find some common ground. Even after all these years, magic never failed to surprise him.

*********

“We shouldn’t have given the stone to the demon, you know.” Anya’s responding look of annoyance reminded Willow that this was about the fourth time she’d said this in the past few minutes. As if her look wasn’t enough, Anya reminded her anyway.

 

“Yes, I know. You’ve only told me five times so far. I still don’t agree.” She picked up the talisman and the piece of shirt, holding it slightly outwards for emphasis. “Stuff we need to get Xander back, so me glad.”

 

The Xander-like voice was obvious to Willow, no doubt a jabbing reminder of when he’d used similar wording, which just happened to be from another guilt-filled moment from her past. Willow often wondered if she was the only one who caught the other woman’s subtle digs and supposed that Anya’s ability came from over a thousand years of perfecting the art of subtle verbal swordplay. Taking a calming breath, she decided she would not let Anya get her goat. “Yes, I’m glad about that too.” There, that ought to spoil her fun. Okay, maybe she needed help.

 

“And I won’t feel guilty about it either, in case you were wondering.”

 

“No guilt,” Willow repeated, though she doubted either one of them actually believed it. “We better get started,” she added as she looked at the items on the table: everything they needed to do the spell. Willow didn’t think she could take explaining Tara’s disappearance to Buffy and Angel without at least having a returned Xander as a distraction. Maybe when Xander was back, the ache and horrible loss wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe the fact that her efforts with the orb had been unnecessary in hindsight wouldn’t resonate so thoroughly. Maybe she wouldn’t feel like a part of her had died. Maybe, but she doubted it.

*********

 

Buffy watched the two figures for a moment as they finished off the last of the demons. She admired the teamwork, the graceful arc of their swings and kicks, but noted with a smirk that she and Spike made an even better team. She knew it was Spike in charge at the moment, even if she couldn’t quite see the ridges and fangs, because the style of fighting was purely his. As Buffy moved closer, the last demon went down in a spray of blood, some of which hit Conner. Spike snickered, and Conner pushed at his arm.

 

“You did that on purpose,” the teen accused him.

 

Spike looked at him innocently around his fangs before snickering again. “’Course I did, mate. Takes art, that does.”

 

“Good job,” Conner said, patting him on the back. He got his entire arm in on the action, coincidentally splattering some of the demon blood on the back of the leather duster.

 

“Oi, hey, watch the leather!” He straightened, and his gaze swept up as she approached. “Slayer, love. Got you a present, pet.” He poked the dead demon with his boot.

 

“Just what I always wanted,” she replied sarcastically and with a smile. Just as she started to study its characteristics, the demon began to dissolve away. “Looks like it was defective. Guess you’ll have to get me something else.”

 

“Yeah?” he breathed, pulling her closer. She felt her body mold easily against his.

 

“Um, hey,” Conner said, reminding them of his presence.

 

Spike rolled his eyes Conner’s way as he let go of her a bit. “One of these days, kid, you’ll keep your mouth shut, and maybe you’ll learn something.”

 

“Spike!” She whacked him soundly on the chest. “We’re supposed to be helping Xander.”

 

He just leered at her, sticking the tip of his tongue between his fangs. Okay, why did that make her tingle in all the inappropriate places? “Can’t help it, love. I heard what you did to that vampire. A few vamps who were scared outta their wits happened by and spilled their guts. You know I love it when you get all forceful.”

 

Even Conner had to smile. “You should’ve seen them. They were running like they’d seen a ghost.”

 

Spike’s face morphed, and Angel emerged. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said. “I should’ve put him back earlier, but he was all hyper from the fight still.”

 

“It’s okay,” Buffy said. “Partly my fault. I’m a little hyper myself. It’s been a frustrating night of beating heads, but getting little information for my trouble.”

 

“I’ll take Conner home,” Angel said. “Then we’ll see what we can do about that.”

 

“Ah geesh, at least Spike doesn’t try to cover with the lame euphemisms,” Conner teased him. “And do I have to go back to the mansion?” He managed not to whine, but his puppy dog face more than made up for it.

 

“He can stay at the house with us. He probably wants to meet Dawn anyway,” Buffy teased. Angel had confided to her once how Conner had looked all starry-eyed at Dawn’s picture when he’d shown it to him.

 

Confirming Angel’s interpretation, Conner flushed. “The mansion’s just not very comfortable,” he grumbled even though they all knew Conner could make himself comfortable on a rock.

 

Buffy took pity on him. “We’ll find you something to eat.” She looked towards the horizon, noticing the glow of false dawn. “It’s almost sunrise anyway, so maybe we can all take a break from the demons until tonight.”

 

“I hope you have a lot of food. He eats like a horse,” Angel remarked putting a hand on Conner’s shoulder.

 

“Dad,” he complained, but he didn’t move far from Angel’s side.

 

Buffy slid into step on Angel’s other side, trying not to feel too guilty that she felt good about this small moment. She couldn’t help it though. Soon she’d be asleep in Angel’s arms for a little while with Conner and Dawn safe under their roof. Maybe later she’d wake up Angel or Spike. Closing her eyes, she breathed in the dewy air and tried to make it last, pretending for once that it would happen just as she hoped.

*********

Gnash said nothing for a long moment, trying instead to read Tara’s intentions from the expressions on her face, but he couldn’t read anything. He couldn’t read her thoughts either and had long since given up trying. It just went to show that he’d become over-confident recently, falling back on his magic when his powers of perception failed him. It didn’t help either that his current target for revenge was so easy to read. What he couldn’t glean from reading Spike’s mind, he’d seen written all over the vampire’s face easily enough. Tara was a different creature entirely. Whatever might’ve been readable in her expression before the merger was now lost in the face of this new, cool confidence.

 

She finally spoke. “Of course I’d prefer it if you didn’t try to kill anyone, but I know that is likely not an option. So, who can I get you to spare?”

 

“The boy Xander should be rescued from the dimension he’s in fairly soon.  I have no further interest in him.”

 

“And Dawn. You have no reason to bother with her.” It wasn’t a question, and her tone left no doubt that she wasn’t willing to negotiate on that point.

 

“No. Nothing against the little girl,” he acquiesced. There was no need to argue over the little things.

 

“I’d rather you not kill the vampire,” she said.

 

Gnash narrowed his eyes. “Since he is my main target for revenge, I don’t see how you can possibly think I’d agree to that.”

 

“I didn’t figure as much, but I thought I’d give it a try,” she replied. “I have become somewhat fond of Spike. I also spent a lot of time and energy researching and getting that soul for him. I’d hate to see all that go to waste.”

 

Gnash considered this and decided this was likely the influence of the demon as well as Tara’s personal feelings for Spike. Of course the demon would find killing the vampire a waste of a good spell. There was likely still magic involved in keeping the soul and demon bound, and Tapas would find the destruction of such magic unpalatable. “Perhaps I could consider another option, but I will likely try to destroy both the vampire and his Slayer. I also can’t promise to spare The Destroyer.”

 

Tara furrowed her brow. “You are speaking of Conner?”

 

“That may be his name here, but that is not what he is.”

 

Tara sat straighter. “Fine. Just remember to spare Willow, Xander, and Dawn. Anya also has done you no harm, though she is of less concern to me.”

 

“I won’t harm the ex-vengeance demon if it can be avoided,” Gnash said. “Professional courtesy,” he added to explain himself.

 

“Fine,” she said. “I suppose you wish me to create havoc with my new-found powers?”

 

“It need not be havoc,” Gnash acquiesced. “I’m sure you’ll find something both entertaining to you and beneficial to me while remaining out of my way.”

 

“And I’m sure you’ll let me know if I don’t,” she replied knowingly. “So, if we are done here…” She rose from her chair.

 

Gnash stood as well, though he tilted his head just a little. “You aren’t going to insist that I not harm Buffy?” He knew he shouldn’t have asked, but curiosity usually got the better of him.

 

“It isn’t really necessary,” Tara said.

 

“Meaning you don’t care one way or the other?” he asked, though he knew that was likely an incorrect interpretation.

 

“Meaning that if you go against her, you will lose.”

 

Gnash blinked in confusion. Tara seemed so certain. With all the power he possessed, how could she be so sure? He searched her eyes, looking for any hint of doubt there, but saw none.

 

“If our business is concluded, I am leaving now,” Tara said.

 

Gnash nodded and walked to the door, opening it for her. “I suspect we will not see each other for a long while.”

 

“That’s likely. I have much to do. A lot of time to make up for.”

 

Gnash watched her leave and closed the door. Standing there, he felt unsure. For the first time in a long time, he doubted himself. It didn’t make sense. How could she think the Slayer would defeat him? She didn’t even know he existed. Then why was it that Tara was so certain? And why was it that he was now worried?

 

Gnash stared at his home and wondered just what he should do next. Maybe it was time to play his trump card.

*********

 

Instinctively Xander flinched when he heard the electric crackle and saw the flash of light, expecting yet another victim for Angelus and yet another round of feeling useless for himself. What he didn’t expect was the sound of his name, rough and almost breathless.

 

“Xander.”

 

He looked up, startled to see Anya. Instinctively, he knew he wasn’t the only one aware of her presence. He threw himself across her partially raised body, knocking her back down flat as he covered her.

 

She grunted a bit, then complained, “Xander what are you…”

 

A pressure followed by a loud buzzing and a horrendous snarl cut her off short as Angelus reached them only to come in contact with Xander’s barrier. The pressure lifted as he flung himself away from the pair on the ground.

 

“You can’t keep this up long, boy,” Angelus bellowed then moved some distance away to wait.

 

Squirming, Anya pushed at his chest. “What was that, and please, I’m all achy from the dimension traveling.”

 

“An, I’m going to push up on my arms, but stay put okay? Trust me on this.” He waited for her to nod, before lifting himself up onto his elbows.

 

“But now you are going to explain right?”

 

“Right,” he said. “God, An I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you, but wait… A demon didn’t send you here, did it?” His stomach lurched, his momentary joy cut short by the thought that she was the next intended dinner for Angelus. He didn’t think he could live if it meant he might eventually lose his fight to protect her, only to see her violated and murdered.

 

“No, Willow sent me here to get you out.”

 

“Oh, Thank God. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could spend here with that monster.”

 

“The one that plowed into us, but was somehow repelled?”

 

“Yes. It’s Angelus,” he informed her.

 

“Angelus? But what is he doing here with you of all places? This can’t be coincidence.”

 

“No, it’s not. And it’s something we’ll definitely have to consider later, but right now, I need to know what the plan is, because eventually he’ll start trying to think of how to get you away from me.”

 

Anya took a breath. “Right. I think my head is starting to feel a little less like someone is banging it inside a drum, so I’ll give you the short version.” She wiggled again, extracting a rock from behind her back and shoving it away from her. She sighed in relief. “Okay, Willow’s the one with the big power, so she’s making with the magic at home. I’m linked to her through this.” She held up a strange looking metal disc that was connected to a chain around her neck. “I can only supply a little magic myself, because this place holds little magic energy.”

 

Xander shot a wary glance over towards Angelus, making sure he was far enough away not to hear them. “We better talk softly. If he gets wind of what we are doing…”

 

“Right, we don’t want him tagging along,” she concluded.

 

“And I might have a little magic energy myself,” he told her, indicating his own strange adornment with a little awkward shifting to reach it, making sure to keep his weight off of her at the same time. “This is what keeps my barrier working to keep Angelus from hurting me.”

 

Anya brought her hand up to touch the glass orb. “Clever. Our enemy is very adept at magic. Oh,” she said suddenly. Her eyes opened a little wider. In a moment, he felt it too, a persistent thrumming that vibrated their bodies. “Willow’s starting to get through,” she said. “This may be unpleasant, but we’ll get you home.” She smiled at him. “So it will all be worth it.”

 

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

 

She blushed lightly, making her look beautiful despite her disheveled locks and smudged face. “Maybe,” she breathed, “but don’t let that stop you.”

 

“You are amazing, Anya.”

 

They said little else, instead looking at each other and trying to ignore the constant and increasing vibrations that indicated the gathering magic. Xander only hoped it wouldn’t get too uncomfortable and that Angelus wouldn’t do something before it could work.

 

It turned out that one of his hopes was answered. At least Angelus didn’t disturb them.

 

*********

Okay, Willow thought. Pain, but pain can be good. Means I’m still alive. The magic didn’t rip me apart. Oh, and look Xander is here. She smiled and lifted herself slightly from where she’d fallen to the floor, propping herself on her elbows, and trying to keep down her nausea as the room spun in front of her. As her eyes focused again, she noticed the figure leaning against the wall watching her almost casually. Her mouth opening in surprise, she caught her breath. “Tara?”

 

Anya jerked a bit, her eyes showing that she was bracing for flight even if her body was unlikely to oblige. She was panting heavily, and she clasped at Xander lying on the floor beside her. “No! We just got him back. You can’t take him!” she yelled at Tara.

 

“An, what are you talking about?” Xander asked as he struggled to prop himself up.

 

“That’s not Tara,” she hissed softly to him. Xander opened his mouth, but his confused question was cut off by Tara.

 

“I don’t intend to harm him, Anya,” she said. “And I’m still Tara.” She titled her head and pushed off the wall in a way that reminded Willow of Spike for some reason. “Where do you think you got that last needed boost of energy to get them back here?” She sighed a little. “That was an amazing spell by the way. I felt it even in here.” She lightly touched her chest in illustration.

 

Willow realized now that amongst all the general aches in her body there was a definite tingling, especially at her fingertips, the kind of tingling that came from energy transfer. “Tara?” she asked tentatively. She held a hand out towards her.

 

“I’m not staying long, Willow. I have a lot to do.”

 

“Don’t go,” Willow begged.

 

Except to blink her eyes meaningfully, Tara didn’t answer her plea. “The three of you are safe for now, but be careful. Your enemy is powerful, and I can’t help you with him unless he breeches our agreement.”

 

Willow tried to get up from her place on the floor, but she was too weak. The spell had really taken its toll on her.

 

“The orb wasn’t random? It was related to an enemy?” Anya asked. She looked at Xander, then back to Tara. “Xander’s disappearance too, I bet.”

 

“It’s all related, even more than you realize. Think long and hard. What you do in the days to come will be very important. I can’t tell you much more than that. This is very different from anything you’ve faced. There’s no apocalypse here. The motivations are much more personal.”

 

“Revenge,” Anya said knowingly. There was no question in her tone at all, and when Willow looked at her, Anya’s face was sure. Vengeance she understood well, after all.

 

Tara took a deep breath and moved towards the exit.

 

“Tara, please.”

 

“I can’t stay, Willow. Don’t ask me to. For once, don’t try to hold me.”

 

“I wouldn’t…” Her voice caught. “I’m so sorry. I should never have…”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have, but don’t be sorry. I’m not.” She lifted her head and squared her shoulders, giving Willow a slight smile. Without another word, she left the training room and then the Magic Box.

 

Xander continued to stare at the door, his expression one of shock and confusion that explained his unusual silence. Anya’s expression showed annoyance.

 

Willow felt only loss and a nagging fear. Seeing Tara that way was somehow more disconcerting than seeing her possessed, because much of that… presence had been Tara. And she was perfectly comfortable with her new condition. Willow saw that clearly. How would they save Tara if she didn’t want to be saved?

 

“I think we lost her,” Anya said, not realizing she was cruelly cutting away all of Willow’s last, thin shreds of hope.

 

Willow’s throat constricted. She hated it when Anya was right.

*********

 

From the comfort of his home, Gnash watched the reunion with interest. He supposed he couldn’t begrudge his new partial ally a small slip or two. Besides he did want Anya to return safely. He would let them have this moment. The witch was obviously drained, and it would take her some time to regain her strength. That made this the perfect time for him to act, while she had no resources to track his magic. They would have no idea that he’d be bringing Angelus back.

 

Sure they had this moment. But the next was his.

 

TBC