(slow tone of a bell in rain) Silent in the shower I hang my head to cry I whisper this can't be so many questions why I got this sick feeling inside of me I can't escape Don't know if I should forgive or if I should hate The light dims and the candle falls asleep Only the cat tries to bring comfort to me I can't accept so I tried to hide it behind the smile Maybe it will die or maybe I will forget after awhile I try to hold myself until I can find a way For the time I could face it and say it's o.k. But instead it ate at my soul and took over my mind Silent for so long its like my eyes have went blind I knew for so long waiting to hear it from you Rumors kept coming and I denied them too Out of love I held it tight and wouldn't let go It was a truth that I didn't want to know (cc1) If I could have faced it like I should Maybe I could have forgiven you But I didn't have the strength Maybe I could have forgiven you For just another hour to fight Maybe I could have forgiven you So many times I got drunk just so I could ask you But even then I didn't have a shimmering clue And my life went on hold cuz I didn't care anymore I was losing everything that I was working for Yet I hid it from myself afraid to look farther in But it kept killing me over and over again More intense then the time before more pain The longer it went the harder I lived in shame To a point I didn't understand what was happening Miserable like a bird with a song but broken wing Then I found myself reaching out for anyone there You kept leaving like you didn't even care Then you told me the truth about what was wrong But then it felt too late you let it kill me for too long Then it was you who had not the strength to fight When I needed you the most you left me alone in the night (repeat cc1) Today I am living after I accepted the rumors tale And I understand where I fell down and I failed Was it love this I can't really tell or if I even know Because it was too easy for us to let it all go So many hopes and broken promises lay in the wake A terrible tale of a story of simple give or take Forgiven you too late or maybe I forgave right in time To stand here and realize that your love was never mine Though it was tough to walk through that hell I learned a lesson and broke a cycle within myself For these things left misunderstood come back to repeat Like your first husband your doing the same thing without me As I prepare myself to be given to another I find myself pausing to look back and to wonder I'm receiving the gifts of life and things of truth I wonder if they was originally meant for you (repeat cc1)_______________________
WROTE BY: NIGHTHORSE