Caesar: Inuyasha
Kleopatra: Kagome
Antony: Sesshomaru
Pompey: Miroku
Ptolemy the Thirteenth: Sota
Arisnoe the Fourth: Sango
Octavian: Kouga
Caesarion: Shippo
Everyone else: Eh, whoever I can scratch up.
All peoples names have been changed. Example: Julia to Metea. If you have any question as to who is who, feel free to put that in a review, or even an e-mail.
And, finally, the story!!!Twenty year old Kagome sighed, pushing a lock of her fine, black hair behind her ear, her olive skin, a trait inherited from her Syrian grandmother, gleaming from the oils rubbed on it. She sighed unhappily again. Lazzaro, eunuch, Prime Minister, and Kagome’s advisor and confidant, gave her a condescending stare. He was as unhappy about the whole mess as Kagome, but there was little he could do about it now.
Sota strode into the room. Well, it was really more of a waddle, having adopted the girth, ugliness, and stupidity that seemed to run in the male genes of the Ptolemies. And so, Sota waddled into room, followed by Akando, the overly painted, overly dressed, and overly bejeweled eunuch, Tertius, the timid scholar, and, of course, Amadeus, the lusty General. Another glare from Lazzaro stifled a sigh of discontent from Kagome.
“Is Her Majesty ready for the transaction?” asked the stuffy Akando.
“Why don’t you ask her?” replied Lazzaro with dignity. Kagome put a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling. The two eunuchs got along about as well as a hippo and a croc. Amadeus turned his head ever so slightly so that he had her in almost full view. He smiled debonairly, showing off straight, white teeth. Kagome scowled. His audacity!
“He’s trying to gain you as an allies,” said her instincts.
“Yes, but why?” her mind replied. Her green eyes danced with flame, another gift of her grandmother. “I don’t trust him.”
“Which is precisely why he’s part of you’re brother’s Regency Council,” instinct retorted.
Akando did not reiterate the question, but instead requested of both Kagome and prince, soon to be king, Sota, to be allowed to sit. Sota, buzzing with nervous excitement, could not reply, so Kagome granted the request with a wave of her hand.
“Let us continue with this, so that matters of the kingdom may be tended to.”
“Do not be so impatient my bride,” replied Sota. She had the strong urge to kick him where he’d feel it most.
They all sat at the table, Akando handing Kagome the papers. She quickly scribbled her signature on. At least this way she wouldn’t have to go through the humiliation of a public marriage. Short, sweet, and to the point. Sota followed suit.
And with that, Sota was king, and Kagome was married. She felt like throwing up.
“May the Immortal Gods bless our wedding bed, dear sister-wife. And if they are thus kind, by the seed of my loins, many Ptolomies will spring from your pretty thighs,” said Sota.
Kagome leaned in, as though to kiss him, but instead whispered “This is the closest you’re half grown cock will ever get to my pretty thighs, dear brother.”
Just like the child that he was, he banged his scepter on the table, but Kagome didn’t flinch. Instead she rose, and left. Despite desperate attempts, servants could never fully remove the mark from the table.
“WHAT?!” Kagome all but shrieked. The whole mess had started a few days back, when son’s of the former co-consul of the famous Inuyasha, and now the governor of Syria, Pallator, had come to Kagome, requesting help to fight of the Parthinians, who were attacking the borders. Kagome, against Lazzaro’s sage advice, granted the request. In itself, that was not the problem. No, Kagome hadn’t consulted the Regency Council. Big mistake. But yet, that was not the present problem. The two sons, upon talking with the commander of the army that was to go back to Syria with them, all Roman mercenaries, left after Kagome’s father had reclaimed his throne, liked getting there handsome salaries and doing little to earn them, and promptly murdered Pallator’s sons. Outraged, Kagome had the two responsible chained and sent to Syria, to let Pallator direct punishment. Again, without consulting the Regency Council.
“Please Your Highness, do not vex yourself so,” said Tertius, coming in after Akando, tailed by Amadeus, Sota, and Sango? What was she doing here? “May I be so honored as to request that Her Majesty sit, so as to not tire herself. We know she has been busy lately.”
Kagome was becoming increasingly tired of being referred to as though she were not in the room. She longed for one of her Kinsmen, or a familiar of some sort. She missed being able to snuggle into her father’s girth, and be known simply as Kagome. Not Her Majesty, Your Highness, or Kagome the Seventh Philopater, Daughter of Isis and Ra, etc, etc…..She longed for Braeden, her bastard cousin and Kinsmen, or Kirra, her lady in waiting since she was a small child. She wanted to be Kagome, who had so longed to be queen. Now she was horribly afraid, and very tiered.
“No, we do this for Her Majesty’s protection,” Amadeus answered for him.
“Protection? From what, might I ask!?”
“The soldiers are at the gates, calling for you the way the people did father once!” shouted Seto, sputtering with rage. “You’re just a puppet for the Romans! You’re worse than father!”
“And you, dear husband, are the puppet of the Regency Council!”
Amadeus quickly grabbed Akando’s arm, so as to prevent him from doing something he’d regret.
“I demand release immediately!” shouted Kagome, “And that the Princess Sango, who has no business in my throne room-“
“Our throne room!” Seto interceded. “Just throw her to the soldiers.”
“His Majesty does not mean that, Your Grace,” said Tertius, bowing low.
“We must request that-“ Akando began.
“You don’t request anything. You just demand,” Kagome spat.
“We must request,” Akando started again, “that Her Majesty Kagome the Seventh Philopater remains in her chambers. We can not allow anything to happen to the queen, can we?”
“I demand that you leave at once!” Kagome screamed.
“We go, as Her Majesty wishes,” said Akando, and with that, bowing low, he left the room, trailed by Tertius, Amadeus, Seto, and Sango.
In minutes, Inuyasha and his men could be on the other side of the river, and within another five, he and his men would be in Rome. If he did this, however, the Senators would say he was committing an act of aggression against Rome. It was absolute fop. The alternative, they had said, would be for Inuyasha to lay down his arms and enter Rome as a private citizen.
“They do not know with whom they trifle. After two decades, they still have mud for brains. They are stupider than children. My horse would even see the stupidity in that,” thought Inuyasha. If he did as they requested, Miroku and the two legions, HIS legions that he had gladly granted Miroku when asked, would descend on him and slaughter him like a stag.
All the while he had been in Gaul, subduing the rebellious Cillian, the senator’s toyed with Miroku, trying to get him to proclaim himself dictator and run Inuyasha out. And that would never do.
“Here I stand, contemplating. If I cross this river, I will be irreversibly altering all human and demon life as it is now known….If I go to Rome defenseless, I will be killed. I like my head and body quite a lot. The two do not wish to be separated, and would miss each other terribly if that were the case.”
And now it was time he called upon his great orating skills, another gift of his ancestress, Venus. He sat, upon his large bay stallion, all of his men’s eyes focused on him.
“I have been you’re commander for nine years. In that time we have conquered quite a bit of Gaul and Germania, and then re-conquered when Cillian raised arms against us. We have moved as one. Eaten the same food, slept in the same sort of tents, and lived the same way of life. A soldier’s life. Now I ask you. Do we enter Rome, with the pride and honor we deserve, or shall we dispense now? Will you defend the honor of your Inuyasha?”
The demons cried in chorus, onto Rome! For the Glory of Inuyasha!
Inuyasha was deeply moved. This was the only family he had now, with his young daughter, once the wife of Miroku, dead in the attempt to give Miroku a son. His whole world. His only child. His little Metea. He sat up a little straighter on his horse.
“Very well then! The die has been cast! Let the game begin.”
“To be my friend,” said Amadeus, leaning somewhat closer to her so that Kagome could feel his very breath on her face. She was frightened, but did not show it.
“You are my brother’s friend, are you not?”
“You would be a very special, intimate friend.”
Kagome squinted slightly, a sign of her distaste. Her instincts were, once again, never wrong.
“I see. So instead of being passed around your soldiers like a whore, I am to be your private whore.”
“I see Her Majesty needs some time to think. I will return tomorrow night for her decision.” And with that Amadeus left. That settled it for Kagome though. Far too many men were trying to rid her of this burdensome thing known as virginity.
She had to get out of Alexandria. Tomorrow.