あいの惑星

Why Date Someone Temporarily?

By temporary dating, I mean teenage relationships. I don't like how teenagers "go out" with someone, say they love them, spend every moment with them, put them as priority above their friends, kiss them and sometimes even have sex with them, and THEN quit dating them and completely forget about them! Where is the logic in that? Media certainly doesn't help; they promote romance all the time, where a person "falls in love" with another person instantly just on the basis of looks and a few conversations.

Teenagers are stupid. They always want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, as if that is the most important thing in the world. They see someone who is cute and think they're in love with them. If tis a boy, he usually only wants you for sex. If tis a girl, she usually only wants you to show off to her friends. This is why teenage relationships don't work out. Girls get bored and guys either get what they want or not, and then where does it leave them? They break up. This is very stupid, considering that when you get a lover, you put them priority over your friends. You tell them everything personal about yourself, you spend every minute you can with them, and are closer to them than any other human being in the world. Then you break up and never talk to them again. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT?!

Don't get me wrong, I don't think people should be asexual or anything. Teenage relationships are fine, as long as you are more than a lover -- you're a friend. I think tis stupid for people to get into a romantic relationship when they aren't friends first. You don't even know the person you're getting involved with. Why not just be their friend first? See what their personality is like. You'll probably find out stuff about them you don't like. Then you will rethink going into a romantic relationship with them. But unless you end up hating them or something, you will probably form a friendship with them that will last for years, instead of rushing into a relationship with that person that you barely knew, spilling your heart to them, and then breaking up soon after and never seeing them again. It makes perfect sense to do it the way I'm talking about. I mean, you don't spot a person of the same gender as you, and think, "Ooh, they will be my new best friend." You get to know them first before you decide they're your best friend.

If you're going to get close to a person -- closer than you are to your family and friends -- then the relationship should last forever, longer than any friendship.

2007 Rewrite

My friend Katie was always boy crazy. Even in elementary school, she had a crush on every boy who talked to her, including her second grade teacher. She didn�t start getting boyfriends until middle school when it became normal and cool to do so. I didn�t see her much for a few years until we had a class together in ninth grade. Then I heard more than enough about her many relationships. In September, she told me about her troubles with JR, her boyfriend at the time. She was upset because another girl was flirting with him. Then the next month, I overheard her excitedly telling her other friends in the class that she broke up with JR. Her reason? �Our relationship wasn�t going anywhere.� Where did she expect it to go? She told her friends that she didn�t want another boyfriend until next year. But by the next month, she already had a new crush�an eleventh grader named Vince. She told me that he liked her too, but he had a girlfriend. So much for being faithful. However, Vince wasn�t nearly as bad as Katie�s next crush, another eleventh grader named Chris, whom she started seeing in January.
On the 17th, she told her other friends, �Chris wants me to have sex with him. What should I do?�
On the 18th, Katie told them, �Chris likes nineteen other girls. But I know he�s not using me!�
On the 19th, she showed her friends how long Chris� penis was�as long as a ruler, apparently. She discussed giving him a blow job. Katie was excited and giggly, but her friends told her it was gross. I didn�t say anything because Katie wasn�t telling the information to me, but I agreed with her friends. Putting one�s mouth on a penis is no different than putting one�s mouth on a toilet. How could Katie be so stupid? It was so ironic too, because we had just been taught to avoid sex. We even got free pens that had a phrase written on them that said, �Pet your dog, not your date.� So much for that. On the 25th, Katie told her friends that she didn�t like Chris anymore and now had a crush on another boy. Who knows what sexual favors she gave to Chris before she stopped liking him.
I assume Katie told her other friends about her boy problems instead of me since they were probably more experienced with boys than me. I learned enough about stupid teenage relationships just by observation; I was glad to never be in one.
She once asked me if I ever had a boyfriend. I had said not really, just a boy named Alan who was one year younger than me when I was in second grade. I didn�t care one way or the other when I agreed to be his girlfriend, and I didn�t care one way or the other when he left me a couple weeks later for another girl. He was nothing more to me than an acquaintance who happened to be a boy. Katie said that Alan didn�t count as a boyfriend, because it happened when we were in elementary school. I agree it doesn�t count, but for a different reason�because of the relationship�s shortness, not because of our age. How were Katie�s middle school and high school boyfriends any different? She was older than me when I had my boyfriend, but her relationships were just as short and immature. She seemed to go out with any guy just because she thought he was cute, and not any other reason.
Katie is just an extreme example of the stupidity of temporary dating. But other people aren�t much better. Romantic relationships seem to be the complete opposite of friendships; they form based on appearance, and they end quickly. Friendships last for years, and they are based on personality, not looks. You don�t spot a person of the same gender as you, and think, �Ooh, they will be my new best friend!� You get to know them first before you decide they�re your best friend. Likewise, you should get to know your love interest as a friend first, not as a stranger, before letting them get close to you. People say they love their lover, spend every moment with them, put them as priority above their friends and family, confide in them more than their friends and family, kiss them and sometimes even have sex with them, and then quit dating them and completely forget about them! What logic is there in kissing and having sex with a person who is no different than a stranger, risking getting diseases and females experiencing the physical pain of losing their virginity and both sexes possibly experiencing the mental pain of a breakup? People don�t let their friends or family touch them sexually, so why should a stranger be allowed to do that? Love is supposed to be stronger and deeper than friendship, yet so-called love relationships don�t last long at all. People don�t even really love their lovers! If they did, they would stay together for life, just like close friends do. Lovers date for a few days, weeks, months, maybe years if they�re lucky. But eventually the relationship ends unless they get married; but even half of marriages end in divorce, so what�s the point of getting married? Unless a couple is planning on staying together for life in a committed relationship, there is no reason whatsoever to engage in romance. The media tries to make us think that having a lover is the most important thing in the world. Unfortunately most people are convinced by the media, so they start out at an early age collecting dates, which only ends up hurting them in the end and wasting their time, money, and life. If people are going to get close to another person�closer than they are to their family and friends�then it only makes sense that the relationship should last forever, longer than any friendship. Prairie voles stay with their mate for life; why can�t humans?
In eleventh grade, I asked Katie how many total boyfriends she has had in her life. She said that she had about seven, including the one she only went out with less than a day and then dumped him because he did drugs. I asked who he was. She said his name was John. �John Sagun?� I asked.
She said no, and that she didn't know who John Sagun was. I told her that he was also known as JR. She still didn�t know him. I tried to refresh her memory by telling her that he was one of her boyfriends in the beginning ninth grade, that she got mad when Brianna was flirting with him, that Katie and JR broke up because their relationship �wasn�t going anywhere.� She still didn�t remember JR. So I showed her my Spottie Dottie Friend File, a book I gave out to all my friends to fill out. It asked survey questions like �Who has the best personality?� and �Who is the cutest couple?� and �Who has the most awesome eyes?� and �Who do you love?� and �Who is the cutest guy?� I had let her fill it out in the beginning of ninth grade, so naturally she had written �JR!!!!!� or �JOHN SAGUN!!!!� as her answer for every question. I showed this to her, and she still didn�t remember him. I went to my last resort�I showed her his yearbook picture the next day. Still she did not remember JR.
�You don't remember your own boyfriend?!� I asked in disgusted shock.
If she forgot him, she probably forgot most of her other boyfriends. So she must have had well over seven. Katie re-filled out the Friend File, replacing all her old answers with �Landon,� her latest lover. He dumped her a couple days before though, just because she went to Benicia High School, and he didn�t want her hanging around him all the time. What a stupid reason to dump someone!
�Yeah,� I told Katie. �We�ll see if you remember Landon two years from now.�
�I'll remember Landon,� she assured me.
In twelfth grade, I asked her if she remembered JR yet. She said yeah because he called her recently. I imagine the conversation went something like this:
"Who's this?"
�JR.�
"Who?"
I felt sorry for the guy, not even remembered by his ex-girlfriend. I asked who she was dating now. She said some guy named AJ who didn�t go to our school.
�I thought you were going out with Randy?� I asked.
�I was, but we broke up the day before prom,� she replied.
�Why?� I asked.
She said something about her friends not liking him and his parents not liking her. She didn�t go into details. Later I found out that the real reason was because Randy was afraid Katie had STDs. I wouldn�t be surprised if she did. She told me she didn�t, but who could trust what Katie said? She might have just forgotten.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws