Do you work?
I did until they fired me. Bastards.
No, I get almost everything from parents/someone else.
I have a part-time job to afford extravagent things.
I have a full-time job to afford food and clothing.
I have multiple jobs to pay my bills.
What kind of music do you listen to most often?
metal or angry rock
emo or alternative
country-western or blues
that soft whiny kind of rock that gets played on Adult Top 40 stations
none of the above
Do you believe in God?
Yes.
No.
I guess, but not in a scary organized-religious way.
I'm not sure.
I believe in the teachings of Buddha.
Scariest authority figure?
a government agent
a cop
a teacher
a parent
me
Describe your last or current girlfriend.
She's a cutie.
She's a dominatrix.
She's crazy and annoying, but ((mumbling under breath)) yeah-I-kind-of-like-her-I-guess
She's my soulmate.
I never seem to have a girlfriend.
What does a girl do to make you jealous?
flirt with another guy
kiss another guy
sleep with another guy
fall in love with another guy
I won't get jealous. The fact she looks at me at all is good enough.
Would you ever actually wear... ?
a cowboy hat
a plaid shirt
black turtlenecks and leather when it's 90 degrees outside
a white dress shirt buttoned all the way to the top
a do-rag
What did the cool kids in junior high call you?
nerd
dirtbag
homo
buddy!
that scary old guy who hangs around the playground
Who did you hang out with in high school?
the cool crowd
jocks
smart kids
a small circle of friends
I was a loner. A brooding brooding loner.
What did you put on your college admissions resume?
Class President
various athletic acheivements
Honor Roll
Hall Monitor
Huh? College?
Pornography is:
gross, uninteresting, and exploitive
I completely agree with the first choice ((hides some porno behind back))
illegal
funny
I can have my own sex, thanks.
I'm sadistic! How could I hurt you the most?
punch me in the face
call me names
use the fact I don't stand up for myself as permission to walk all over me
tell me my girlfriend is mad at me
Try it. I dare you.
What do you do when you're mad at someone?
physically hurt them
break or steal their things, play tricks on them
glare at them and mutter something passive-aggressive
walk up to them and say something cryptically nasty, then walk away
absolutely nothing, except maybe complain to my friends
What are your talents?
imaginative arts (music, writing, poetry, etc.)
hands-on arts (painting, woodworking, mapping things, etc.)
sports and other manly things
deductive reasoning
being a sexy mofo
We all go a little crazy sometimes. What might you do to relieve insanity?
drink beer. beer good.
break things
yell incoherently and start crying
have sex with someone who's not my girlfriend in a public place
get out my woodshop tools and make a bunch of phallic baseball bats
Ooh, nice muscles. Do you work out?
Yes, I like to stay fit.
Yes, I like to maintain a rippling godlike upper body and then take my shirt off a lot.
Once in a while. My life is action-packed enough already.
Nah, work is hard. I'd rather watch TV.
What muscles? Is that sarcasm? Shut up.
Do you shave?
Yes, every day.
Usually, but sometimes I quit for a few days when I'm feeling depressed.
Yes, but ironically I refuse to cut my hair.
Not too often. I think facial hair/stubble is hot.
No, I don't think I've reached that level of puberty yet.
Do you consider any of the following your favorite sport?
football
dodgeball
hockey
wrestling
none of the above
What is your role in a group?
the leader
the yes-man
the hardest worker
the rebel
the guy who stands around looking clueless and keeps complaining about having to be involved in the first place
Extra windows will open if you have a tie.
....
I programmed this test based on codes from the Spongebob Squarepants quiz and the Care Bear quiz.