 |
| tuesday, november 5th, 2002. 9:51pm i got the flu. i started getting it on saturday but i kinda just thought that it was a mental issue, not really a physical one.... but i did recognize the achiness and the headaches, so i wasn't sure. then by last night i had a horrible fever and i hurt all over and felt miserable. i stayed here all day except to take my math test (which i got 95% on). so i am a little bored. i am on my fourth movie today though. i love that i got a dvd player on my computer. i have to say that it is nice to have someone there for you when you feel like shit. i have my roomates asking if i need anything every five seconds, rose offering to brush my hair or rub my back, cecilia offering me medicine and food. and it's nice to have humberto for the times when you need a hug and someone to whine to. "What? you feel bad? why didnt you call me?" "You were studying." "So? i still would have come." Funny how i get the warm fuzzies from everyone because i got sick. haha i found the silver lining to this cloud i suppose. |
|
| wednesday, november 6th, 2002. 11:59pm well i think i am just about healed. i woke up at like 9:15 today dehydrated and hungry so i went and had breakfast (quickly cause i felt like i was dying) and then i came back and took a full dose of tylenol pm. my plan was to sleep enough to recover. i slept very fitfully all day. i had a horrible fever and i was constantly either too hot or too cold until i reached the point where i was just completely sweaty and could not cool down. i woke up around 4:30 this afternoon. my eyes were all puffy and i smelled bad. i took a nice long shower and put on fresh clothes and went to dinner. i still had a little bit of a fever until a few hours ago. but now i feel a lot better. i'm just really worn out. but not sleepy. it's late and i want to go to bed but that's not happening. and i look like hell. my eyes will not un-puff. anyway, i think i'll go find something to do now. adios. |
|
| tuesday, november 12th, 2002. 10:34pm well i am anything but healed. my symptoms got a little better.... and then much worse this weekend. i went to my class that's in the basement of my building yesterday and everyone was so horrified by my appearance that i decided to go to the doctor. i hadn't before because it costs me money to go. and i'm cheap. but when james saw me from the side and said "hey nicole" but then when i turned and faced him, he said "oh sorry i thought you were nicole." "i AM nicole!!!!" it was horrible. my eyes have gotten even puffier than before and i look like a freak. so i trekked to the student health center and saw a doctor. first i saw some bitch nurse. she was mean. but then the doctor asked the normal questions, looked in my ears, didnt find anything, looked in my throat and almost had a heart attack. she diagnosed me with strep throat on the spot. she said she didnt even need to test it because it was so bad. so now i'm on antibiotics and some medicine for my nausea so i can finally eat. she said if i dont get better in a week they will test me for mono! oh my gosh shoot me! i dont want to feel like this forever. i can barely get out of bed and i just feel gross. help! |
|
| sunday, november 17th, 2002. 2:01pm well i'm finally better. by wednesday night the antibiotics had done their job. thank goodness, i thought i was dying. really. it's so nice to be able to leave this horrible room now. and eat. i missed eating too. but anyway yeah. i'm fine. life is ok too. i caught up on all the work i missed from my classes. i had a pretty mellow but fun weekend. funny, haven't seen my boyfriend all weekend, but that happens i suppose. lately, i tend to be in a really good mood for like half the day and then it's like it just falls apart and i get in this horrible, annoyed, crying type mood. i don't know why. i think i'm just still missing something, you know? but hey, i'm going home next weekend so who cares! haha i get to go home on friday i'm so excited. FOR A WEEK! i love thanksgiving. and i love that U of I gives a week long thanksgiving break. ok so this school doesn't all suck. anyway, yeah that should be fun. i'm also chaperoning a church trip to CPYA while i'm home. that's so funny since i'm like barely older than the kids i'll be chaperoning. but i'm excited because it will be fun and hopefully it will be a chance to get to know some of the younger kids from my church that i was never in youth group with. anyway yeah i'm going now. i feel like a nap. i dont know. maybe i'll go get some coffee in the commons or something. who knows. |
|
| tuesday, november 19th, 2002. 11:24pm where did the time go? i have had a full day. i don't get many of those so i will be thankful. i have only taken 2 pictures on the roll of film i have to fill before i go home. i think i'm afraid people will think i'm weird if i just whip out my camera and start taking their pictures. but you gotta start somewhere i guess. so i'll do it. tomorrow. i always say i'll start tomorrow. but now i only have two days left so i have to get my ass in gear. i have totally been pigging out today i need to stop. i bought chocolate. that is a deadly thing to do. ok i think i'm going to get ready for bed. goodnight. |
|
| wednesday, november 20th, 2002. 11:43am today i had a spanish paper due. we do this in-class correction thing which is ok as long as you get a native speaker or two to correct it, since they're the ones that really know spanish. anyway, the topic this time was important to me because we had to write about a story we read by Rosario Castellanos who is an author who writes about the indigenous culutres of Chiapas. The topic was the way poverty forces other cultures to do things that seem barbaric to us. Of course this was important to me since i have been there and seen some of that poverty among the indigenous people firsthand. But the girl who corrected my paper, who is one of the native speakers, completely tore apart my paper, like every sentence was wrong. Not only was this a blow to my self esteem and my confidence with my spanish, but it frustrated me since i had actually involved myself in writing that paper. i know that she was just being helpful, making my paper the best she thought it could be, but it's kind of traumatizing you know? haha i better get an A now. |
|
| wendesday, november 27th, 2002. 11:59pm well i'm officially home now. actually i've been back in oregon since friday afternoon but dont tell. i went and chaperoned CPYA. It was so much fun i got to bond a lot with some of the kids from our youth group and i thought it was just a really great experience for me. i never really got to know the younger ones that well, you know? hopefully i'll be able to do things with them when i'm home more often. anyway, the week was interesting, i went down to U of O to see courtney and all of our other friends down there with julia. that was a lot of fun too. i really miss courtney a lot. yesterday i didnt do much really. today i had lunch with my mom and ran errands. stopped by and saw my old boss. i really wish i had a job. he said he'd hire me for the summer though. he said if i apply at the pretzelmaker in the mall in moscow to have them call him, he said i would make a good manager for them! wow! what a compliment. the thing is i know i'm a good worker i just have to get a job. the whole money issue was so frustrating to me today that i almost started crying. actually instead of that i just went and took a nap. you're not supposed to sleep to escape your problems. i just couldn't help it i guess. i wish i could just win the lottery. the thing is there's just so much i want to do. and combined with money and the whole relationship thing i just dont know how i'll do it. i want to go study in chiapas 1st semester next year. but there i will have no access to the internet or phones or anything for 4 months. and i won't be earning any money and i won't be getting a full semester of credits. then i want to major in bilingual education. but i can't do that at Idaho so i'd have to go to Boise State. but if i go to Boise State i'd be leaving behind humberto. and i know that that's way far in the future and my relationships never last as long as i think they're going to, but you never just want to PLAN on them ending you know?? and to top everything off brian told me today that chris really IS engaged, which shouldn't bug me since i don't love him anymore and i don't have anything IN COMMON with him anymore, and i'm completely completely happy with someone else, but then i think "wait, i used to think I would be the one marrying chris"..... and it's just weird to think that it's someone else now and that's ok. sometimes i think i am the girl with the most relationship-related baggage in the whole world. ok. well i would like to say that i have just completely babbled all of my worries and concerns super fast and so if they don't make sense, just ignore them. my mom told me that my webpage used to be really entertaining and funny sometimes. but now it's just depressing. next time i promise i will find a funny story to tell, ok?? |
|
| friday, november 29th, 2002. 3:27pm i have to admit that one of the most fabulous parts of being home is the toilet paper. you think they give us Charmin Ultra in the dorms? no way! i'm considering stealing some. there's a whole big Costco package of it in the bathroom. no one would miss a few rolls. my thanksgiving went well. it was the typical 15-person dinner followed by chasing around my cousin's two daughters who think i'm the best playmate ever, then the desperate search for somewhere to take a nap. i also rented Amelie last night and made my parents watch it. i hate foreign films but that one is good. my mom just hates foreign films. i think my dad thought it was alright but he said he got tired of reading. what can ya do? i thought it was really cute. i've never seen a cute foreign film before. I must say i didn't envision spending so much money here in salem. i only have like 5 bucks left and now my friends want me to go to red robin with them tonight. i really dont want to take money out of the bank i'm poor enough. seriously just THINKING about money makes me want to burst into tears. oh yeah i'm going to guy buy a lottery ticket today. |
|
| November 2002 |