Welcome to Limbo ---------------------- If I had to describe it to you (and mind you, I find myself increasingly reluctant, as I stand here in the roiling clouds of judgement), a paradox might be a woefully inadequate way to describe the clash in imagery that I am presented with. On one hand, I am rooted to the ground on a stormy plateau. Clouds roil all around me, as far as the eye can see, and the sky is a depressing gray. There is no sun that can be seen, no change at all in the constant grayness that is dragging my soul into an abyss. If this is eternity; I want out. On the other hand, I can make out what looks to be .... yes, it's indeed strange .... a stage with lights and people moving about. It comes through misty and hazily, however, and at times I am not sure whether it is real or just illusion. As I wait here, in this limbo of thought and soul, I begin to wonder if everything I have ever lived was real or if it was all just a very convincing illusion. The all encompassing grayness is beginning to wear on me, and I am starting to believe the latter. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Game Show "And now, ladies and gentlemen", the announcer's voice broke through the everpresent silence for the first time, "I welcome you, come one, come all, to Limbo, where we celebrate those brave souls who are able to overcome their mortal failings and join us in the glorious universe beyond. Shall we meet the newest candidates, ladies and gents?" An overwhelming sound of applause filled my ears as I involuntarily began to move forward towards a whirling, flashing portal of light that reminded me vaguely of my time in Las Vegas, Nevada. Next to me, I could see a few people I recalled from Earth: Bill Gates, Martha Stewart, and George Bush. Why they were here ... I could not fathom. Then again, nothing about this trip made much sense to me. As we walked through the portal of light, it suddenly disappeared, and we were left sprawling uncomfortably on top of each other. The applause slowly died down, as the announcer approached us, with a big smile on his face, and a pleasant manner. "Well, hello there", he said gently, "Nice to meet you. I'm Rick; I'll be your guide. Sorry about the rough entry .... I'll have to talk to the coordinators later." "But, now then", Rick said, "We have important things to discuss." Bill Gates, brushing himself off, shook his head as if to clear it, and demanded, "Now, look here; I don't know what kind of sick joke this is, but I demand to be returned to the nearest U.S. embassy immediately. I was in the middle of an important merger ..... Why are you laughing?" Rick, shaking his head sadly, said, "Denial. It's one of the first things I've seen people do when they come here; they don't want to admit that everything is going to be different from now on. It's a rare person who admits up front that they have died and now it is time to move on to the next stage of existence." Rick gave a measuring glance to Gates. "I'm afraid it's going to be a bit more complex for you, my friend. You have a hardened, dark soul. You've made a lot of money, but it was at the cost of the most important thing in your life. I am so sorry, but the test may prove that it is best for you to go back." Gates shuddered slightly. "I don't know what he's talking about. Does anyone know what he's talking about?? I want to go back to my old life! My rich life! The one where I have more money than anyone else on the freaking planet. Give me that, I beg of you!" Rick said tightly, "Nobody can give you that now, Gates." Suddenly, a bald headed man with a poor fitting tupee stuck his head out of an office behind the stage. He whispered loudly, "Get on with it, Andre! The audience wants action." Rick nodded. "It's time that we got started." Rick raised his voice slightly, and aimed towards the microphone. He changed his tone to his announcer's voice. "All right, people. Here's the deal. These fine candidates, these worthy candidates, are going to be given the test of their short lives. I say short, of course, because they came from Earth." Brief titters came from the humans in the audience. Rick smiled lightly. "Anyway, this is not the sort of test that you cram for; at least, not successfully. You don't "crack the books" for this test, because, quite frankly, there are no books associated with the learning for this particular exam. "This test's difficulty is based on its simplicity. It doesn't ask that you know a lot of facts, but it does require that you know yourself. "Know thyself", the ancient proverb states, and that is what this test measures. However well you know yourself ...... I mean, really know yourself ...... that is what your score will be." "One other thing: The test changes; it's dynamic. No two people will get the same test. Even one person will never get the same test twice. This test will constantly adapt and present new material based on the person's current life situation." "Now, candidates ...... are you ready to see if you've got what it takes to compete in the next phase of your existence?" There were grumbles and mumbling from the three famous notables. Martha Stewart was the next one to complain. "Now see here ... I've had some experience with the judicial system in my time, and this whole setup with its carnival atmosphere feels like a joke. If this is the afterlife, it must be the wrong one. Please tell me that God made his first mistake, Rick sir?" I couldn't help but notice that Martha was shivering subtly with .... fear? She didn't sound afraid, but possibly something about this situation had touched her primeval subconscious deeply and it was reacting with fear (or something very like it). I also noticed that something similar was happening with Gates and Bush as well. Strangely, all I felt was calm and tranquility. "God doesn't make mistakes, Ms. Stewart", Rick said amiably, "Not that I speak to him much; a bit too high up on the totem pole for a little man like me, you know? But, no, I can tell you with certainty that your being here is most definitely not a mistake. The Rebirth Management department is most efficient about their work. I wouldn't press the matter, though: they're a little touchy ..." The last comment he made in a confidential whisper with an easy grin. "Mr. Bush", Rick sighed, "I suppose YOU have something to say? Go ahead and say it; but quickly, for we must get on with the show!" "No, sir, actually ... I'd rather just be silent for now." Rick smiled approvingly, "One of your few wise decisions, Mr. Bush. I am pleased." Then, Rick turned to me. He looked me over appraisingly and nodded. "Ladies and gentlemen, here we have our everyman, a young person who has died before his time, but who has displayed almost every noble trait and few of the unpleasant ones. He was not perfect, but was willing to admit his faults. He was open and sociable, pleasant to all he knew, with few enemies. He had a solid education, a good career, a pretty fiance; in short, everything working for him. He didn't have the wealth that our formers did, but he was a good, solid individual with a beautiful soul." "It doesn't matter that Severn Golding died of a car accident at the age of 21, on the brink of marrying his girlfriend, one Lianna Jasper. What does matter is that his soul is as pure as gold, and an example to these wealthy individuals whose souls are almost the exact opposite." "Now it's time to calculate the probabilities. My personal favorite time, but I'm a mathematician, so I don't count. Yet this is an important part, as you will see ....." A holographic scoreboard flashed into the air above the candidates. Rick glanced up at the scoreboard for a moment, but then gazed back at the audience, and resumed his oration. "Keep those probabilities in mind, as they predict within a reasonable accuracy how well (or how poorly) our candidates will fare at their respective exams. " "As is our typical policy, we let the candidates vote on who will be first into the "frying pan" (as I believe the colloquial verbiage is on Earth). This is amusing for everyone except the person being tested, so without further ado, let us have the vote!" A robotic contraption ambled onto the stage just then, and began handing out ballots to the "candidates". As I was handed a ballot, I saw the text rapidly phasing in and out for a few seconds, but quickly stabilizing at English. I felt a moment of curiosity at how that had been accomplished, but tossed the question aside and went to casting my vote. I chose Bill Gates to be the first tested candidate, because I had never been fond of Microsoft. The robotic contraption came by again after a couple minutes to collect the ballots, and it gave the four sheets of material (I don't think they were made of "paper" as I knew the common substance) to Rick. Rick nodded to the robot, and turned his attention to Bill Gates. Gates shuddered at being the sole attention of Rick, but tried to hide his fear. "Gates", Rick said mildly, "You're to come with me. The exam room awaits." "Why do I feel ... as if my own death warrant has just been signed?" "I didn't say that!", Gates said, "What the hell?" "Gates", Rick said wearily, "Thought and voice are one and the same here. There is no differentiation. However, the greater the thought, the louder it may be. Most thoughts are no more than whispers; your latest thought just happened to be very great in emotion, thus: it echoed very loudly." "I see", Gates said in a very small voice. "Gates", Rick said with a small smile, "Don't worry; you will get another chance. This isn't eternal death, you know: just a chance to start over on your home planet of Earth. You'll get another body, with another family, another set of circumstances. It'll be slightly easier, too. Eternal death only comes after excruciating failure. But, wait! We haven't even given you your test yet ........ let's go, Gates." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- New Opportunities: Bill Gates "Gates! Get over here." "Yessir?", the young farmhand queried, as he hopped off the fence and hurried towards the tractor repair station where his employer was standing. "Ah, there you are. I've been looking for you, William. Nobody else knows mechanical objects quite like you .... what can you do with this thing? It's been giving me trouble all morning!" "Lessee, sir. I'll give it my best shot .... give me 5 minutes, okay?". William Horseshire Gates, born to unknown parents and raised in an orphanage near Albany, NY developed a strong reputation as an independent and resourceful individual. He ran away from the orphanage at the tender age of 11, and found work as a industrial employee (under the table, of course, to avoid government regulations) but found it extremely distasteful. When he discovered his talent for fixing mechanical objects, and simultaneously developed a relationship with John Severn of Johnson and Backer Farms, he instantly won himself a position as a "mechanical engineer" based on his extraordinary ability. Now, as he worked on the "broken" tractor, he saw that one of the components was simply rusted out ... typical of farming equipment (poorly maintained and/or in need of repair). "Uh, sir", Bill said, "Looks like this component ... several of the rivets in the transmission are rusted and loose. What exactly was the problem you were experiencing?" "Well ..............." And so William Horseshire Gates went forward to found the Gates Maintenance and Repair Company, which saved companies who owned large-scale mechanical equipment thousands of dollars, and made Gates a moderately wealthy man (although never as wealthy as his previous status). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Game Show "Well, that was very positive.", the announcer Rick smiled, "I only wish all our candidates had such a bright future ahead of them. Unfortunately, our next candidate will not be so lucky ........." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- New Opportunities: Martha Stewart Marsha swabbed the mop head across the floor of the 7 Eleven. A car radio was blaring oldies across the street. Two teenagers, ambling arrogantly, entered the store and walked past her obliviously. They asked the cashier for two packs of Marlboros and one of the teenagers went and grabbed a cold beer before the transaction was complete. Marsha had worked at this 7 Eleven for only a week. She had lost three consecutive jobs before this, mostly because she was trying to hold down a job simultaneously while attending college classes (she wanted to get her associates in business) and take care of the children that her boyfriend had so thoughtfully left her with after he had gone off and abandoned the "family". Fortunately, her employer was a somewhat close family friend ... in the sense that he knew her sister's family quite well. She herself did not know her employer well, but because of that connection, she hoped that minor discrepancies in her work history and performance would be overlooked as long as the long haul paid off. Unfortunately for Marsha, she unluckily develops a stress-related illness and is unable to complete school, is unable to continue working, and just barely is able to get on welfare before she becomes completely homeless. She lives in a one-room apartment in Bethesda, Maryland in the cheapest area of the city, with a roommate. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Moving On: The Everyman's Story And now I suppose you're wondering what's happened to me? Did I go back, like Bill Gates and Martha Stewart, presumably Bush too? To answer that, I'd like to quote a paragraph from the announcer, Rick: "You've seen the wealthiest Earthmen, the most prestigious Earthmen, the greatest men of their time, ladies and gentlemen, and where did it get them? On Earth, sure, it gave them great and wondrous things: all the wonderful toys that money can buy, all the entertainment you could ask for. Even, to a certain extent, relationship. But was all this real? Was this true reality?" "No, my dear friends. As you all know, as definitely our Everyman knows, none of the things that our wealthy compatriots were pursuing represent true Reality. They are a bauble in the rain, shining brightly when all is dark and cloudy ...... but vanishing when the sun comes out from behind the clouds." "On Earth, most people wander forever without ever seeing the shining bauble, the point of light that is there to show them the way. That's okay; it is meant to be that way. But there are a very few who DO see that bauble, those for who it is so clear that it is like a revelation every waking moment. These people are meant to be our guides, and the rest of us must pay attention to the guides ..... lest we wander astray." "Unfortunately, this advice I give you now will always and forever be forgotten the moment you set foot back in the Universe. For a fog of doubt and confusion besets the inhabitants of that place ..... beware ............... But I digress. Severn Golding?" "Our last candidate, Mr. Golding, will not be going back. In fact, he need not even go through the indignity of judgement, so sure I am that he is pure of heart and gold of spirit." "Congratulations, Severn Golding! Welcome to the greater Universe. Your new life begins here." A thunder of applause drowned me suddenly in a wave of approval. I could actually "feel" the waves of emotion coming from the thousands of people in the room. All around me, I could see the relatives that had died coming from the left to make their greetings. It was a wondrous time. And on that note, my new life began.