Scene: Fidel�s Cuban Palace
Characters: ** In Order of Appearance** Babs (B), Dubya (D), Hitler (H), John Taylor (JT), Fidel Castro (FC), Osama Bin Laden (OBL), Simon Lebon (SL), Saddam Hussein (SH), Andy Taylor (AT), Nick Rhodes (NR), Roger Taylor (RT), Chuck (HB), Mussolini (M), Some Guy (SG), Napoleons Ghost (NPG)
*The gang is spread out across the floor out of breath. Except for Babs, who�s running around decorating in a coffee high.*
B: *Talking fastly* You guys EXCITED!?
D: *Mumbling* ...Shut up Babs! I�m tired.
B: *Giggles* Oh you! *Runs out of the room*
H: *Sitting up* Did anyone call anyone for the party? I have a feeling we might not have.
JT: *Raises hand* I think I might have.
H: Well okay. Are they going to bring Cocaine and get their snort on like a bunch of cocaine snorting hippies!?
JT: *Outraged* NO! *Causally* They do heroin.
FC: Oh no you don�t! Your not bringing a bunch of... *Confused* What do you call a heroin addict?
OBL: A... Hero? *All nod in agreement*
FC: Yeah, okay. Your not bringing a bunch of heros to my party! Okay?
JT: What if they sooth you with melodic tunes?
FC: What kind of melodic tunes?
JT: ... The melodic... kind?
FC: *Considers it* Hm... Wait, no!
JT: Damn. Okay, I guess I�ll go cancel the stripper too!
FC: Damn right!
JT: But she was exotic, and going to pop out of a cake. And then smell me.
FC: John... I doubt that.
SL: I don�t! I�d sniff you any day. So I can see why she would sniff you. I mean I might even give up sniffing some one else, just to sniff you! Like, some kind of whore going back to...a life of crime?
FC: Simon... What? That didn�t make sense, not even close to it.
SL: I guess what I�m saying is. Your sexy. So come and dance with me.
FC: Your not dancing!
SL: *Moves his arms around flowingly* There. Is that dancey enough for you?
FC: NO! Simon, shut up!
SL: No John! NO! I would never shut up! Cause your like a shoe. I shoe filled with mayonnaise. And I like mayonnaise. Don�t you?
FC: Simon, what the hell are you talking about? I shoe with mayonnaise in it? What?!
H: *Sighs. Shouts in anger* I guess I�m going to go call some random people for the party. Thanks a lot Simon! *Runs out in tears*
*All look to Simon*
SL: What? Oh that? Yeah. Yesterday I said I would handle it.
SH: And you didn�t?
SL: Does it look like I did?
AT: *Looks around* Well, how did we all get here?
NR: Andy... we�ve been here.
AT: Thanks to who?
NR: Hitler�s groove.
AT: That�s not true! Your lying! *Puts his hands over his face and starts to cry uncontrollably*
*All non-Duran Duran-ies look around confused*
RT: He�s a drunk. *All �Oh�*
*Walks back into the room and sits down. Simon walks over to comfort him by placing his hand on Hitler�s shoulder. Hitler shrugs him off*
H: Oh Chuck! Hold me! *Runs over to Chuck and whispers* It was horrible, he was all over me! His hands touched me places, I never wanted someone�s hands to ever be. *Sobs quietly into Chuck�s shoulder*
HB: *Rubbing Hitler�s head* In know, I know. *Glares at Simon*
SL: Okay.. *Slowly leaves the room*
D: Where did Babs go?
B: *Runs back in screaming* OH GOD! Get it off me!
D: Get what?
B: This streamer on my shoe. It�s trying to EAT me! Don�t get too close it�ll get you too!
D: *Screams in terror*
FC: *Walks over and pulls it off. Both Dubya and Babs scream, together* Yeah, it�s only crape paper...
B: You weren�t there. You don�t know!
FC: *Crumples it up and tosses it away* Babs I�m cutting you off. No more coffee.
B: *Screams. And slowly falls to the ground. Clinging to Dubya* No! I need it to live. Fidel, don�t do this! *Fidel walks out of the room* Fidel! *Screams as she reaches out and Dubya holds her back.* Fidel! *Starts to cry. Says in almost a whisper* Fidel...
*With both Babs and Dubya quietly sobbing, Mussolini, Saddam and Osama quietly sneak off*
M: Wow... That was something. Eh?
SH: Yeah... You guys want to go call some people for the party.
OBL: SURE! When is it?
M: 2:00-ish?
SH: That sounds about right! *All �Woo!�*
*Cuts to Duran Duran and the others back in the living room, or something*
JT: *Watching in horror*
SL: *Staring at John in utter glee* John... *Pokes him* John? You know, your so cute when your shocked. Just thought I�d tell you.
JT: *Looks at Simon* Shut up.
SL: Well, only cause you said to. *Sits quietly. Staring at John*
JT: Stop that!
SL: *Simon turns away. But makes very noticeable glances towards John*
JT: *Sighs*
*Ding-Dong*
FC: *Screams* I�ll get it! *Runs to the door all excited like, and looks through the peep hole. Or whatever that thing in the door you can see out of is called. You know? The one that makes things like all rounded and stuff. That thing.* It�s the guests!
H: *Screams all shocked like* I�m not ready!
D: Neither is Babs!
B: *Looks down, and is shocked* That�s true!
H: Come on guys, lets glam up for the �Party�!
HB: YEAH! We�ll look positively fabulous! And maybe a little risk-ay?
B: We can only hope!
*All run off giggling. Except Dubya, who is kind of being dragged*
FC: Okay... *Opens the door. Beckons them in* Come in, come in. *Lifts a plate* Care for a cheeto!?
SG: Sure! *Eats one* Thanks!
FC: Your welcome!
*More and more guests pile into the room and Fidel offers more cheetos. Cuts to Duran Duran setting up for their big gig*
JT: A one, a two. A one, two, three, four! HIT IT!
AT: *Andy strums a chord on his guitar, hiccups, and falls over* I�m okay...
SL: Oh John, your so sexy when Andy falls, and you look over all shocked, and the winds throws your hair to the side like that. Carelessly, but oh so sexy. You know what I mean? Well here I�ll show you. *Digs a picture out of his pocket* I took this that day we went to the beach. You know. The day you went swimming in the nude. And I video taped it all.
JT: Simon, what!?
SL: There you go again, being sexily shocked. It�s so sexy!
NR: Oh god, is he bleeding!?
AT: NO! Don�t clean it up. It�s my red wine!
RT: Andy, stop messing around!
NR: *Turns to Roger* Roger, we got this. Okay? Why don�t you just go over there. *Points to some place off to the side* and, you know. Go back to not standing out.
RT: *Puts his head down in shame* Well...Okay. *Walks away*
JT: Okay... *More practicing ensues*
*Cuts to Osama, Saddam, and Mussolini*
M: Man, do you think anyone�s actually going to show up?
OBL: Well... Lets see. You said be here at two, and it was about 4 O� Clock when you called. So... Maybe!
SH: It�s true! They might show up!
*They hear a loud crash. And they all run out to the living room and see Fidel laying on the ground in some broken shards of vase*
M: Oh GOD! Wha... how... Who did this!? *All stand silent.* WHO!?
OBL: Oh god...what is that? A Vase?
SH: It�s pronounced Vase. Like with a Z.
OBL: No, Vase. Like different than your way.
SH: NO!
OBL: YES!
M: Guys! Fidel is seriously hurt! Some one�s got to do something.
FC: *Starts to giggle, then laughs hard. All look down in shock and disgust* Ohhh, I so had you guys! You got SERVED! Oh and by the way, either pronunciation is acceptable.
OBL: Oh
SH: Yeah, both. Eh?
M: *Outraged* Fidel! Why did you do that?
FC: Well...I wanted you guys to come out here so we could all head out back and party. And I thought it�d be fun to scare you.
M: Well, I guess it�s alright then.
FC: Your such a good sport. *Pats Mussolini on the back*
M: Yeah I am! *They all walk outside*
SH: Wow, look at all these people! I am impressed Fidel!
OBL: And these steamers!? Man, this must have taken at least a good 5 minutes.
FC: That�s TRUE! It did!
*Hitler, Chuck, Babs, and Dubya all come rushing out. Babs, Hitler, and Chuck are all glammed up. And wearing very revealing clothes, which are a tad risk-ay*
B: We�re HERE! *All laugh and walk in with linked arms. Passing by Fidel* ... Fidel.
FC: Babs.
H: Lets mingle!
HB: *Claps* Oh goodie!
D: *Slips away for a minute* Wow, guys. Did you see those streamers?
OBL: Yeah we did! Amazing, eh?
D: My god, yes!
*Duran Duran start to rock out heavily*
JT: Alright, you guys know what to do! Party!
*Everyone starts to jump around and a lot of people are �Woo!�-ing. And there might be some guy screaming out �Party!� real slow like. I don�t know. It�s a party. ALSO John might be throwing some cocaine into the air and spinning around as it falls down on him.*
HB: Man, what a party!
B: Yeah!
H: *Hitler, caught up in the heat and rage of the party screams out as loud as he can* SEX!
HB: *Seeing Hitler do this, he feels an urge to also scream out* ORGY! *Then everyone starts to mosh, a lot. Which I guess they think is an orgy? It seems so*
*Just then the earth starts to shake and rumble. The grounds starts to separate and a green light emerges from the depths of the earth and a green misty fog like substance flows upward. And the Ghost of Napoleon emerges*
NPG: Who DARES disturb my peaceful, yet kind of not peaceful, and ghostly SLUMBER!? Was it YOU!? *Points to Andy*
AT: Well... sorta.
NPG: What do you mean sorta. You can�t sort of do it. You either did, or didn�t. Pick one.
AT: Then I didn�t. But I did take a minor part in it. *Napoleons eyes fill with rage* But I�m drunk!
NPG: Oh, well then okay then. Who!? Who was it!
H: I did it! It was ME. Not any of these guys, but ME. Hitler! Adolph Hitler, that�s ME. I did it!
NPG: Okay, okay. I get it. Yeeesh. But, Hitler. Why?
H: Well... I don�t know.
NPG: Oh come on. Don�t lie to me Hitler. I can see right through you.
H: And I can see through YOU!
NPG: Oh, *Chuckles* Hitler, you rascal! *Hitler blushes* But seriously Hitler. Tell me.
H: Well, you see. It was all a clever ruse.
NPG: *Is shocked* A ruse!? At... at my expense?
H: *Hitler feeling rather ashamed, nods*
NPG: *Is shocked...more* I am... Shocked. That�s what I am!
H: I had reasons! It�s not like I woke up this morning and decided to humiliate you! *Starts to tear* Okay!? It�s not like I plan this stuff all the time. *Sobs* This is all so out of control. I don�t even know why were here!
D: Pst, your groove.
H: Oh yeah! You have my groove! You... you MOBSTER! Oh, *Chuckles* I meant to say Monster. Ha, silly me.
NPG: I... I has no idea.
OBL: I think you did. What with you taking it and all.
NPG: Ohhh, yeah. About that. I thought this was your moms. Cause I mean it was in this big Purple box with gold ribbon lining and this pink tassel. It also said in nice girly letters Hitler�s Groove. I mean, I just thought, finally after all these YEARS! You know?
H: Well I can see how you got it all mixed up. But it�s still mine! And that�s never going to change.
NPG: Well... *Takes Hitler�s groove out of his back pocket* I want you to have this.
H: *Hitler takes it in his hands* What is it?
NPG: What do you mean what is it!? It�s your groove!
H: *Looks at him in disgust* Uhg. You ruined it.
NPG: *Looks ashamed* I�m sorry. For real, I am.
H: I know. I saw the iceberg, and I see it in your eyes. Tell me the truth!
NPG: *Confused* What?
H: *Chuckles* OH, HEH! I�m sorry. Sometimes I quote Titanic.
SH: You never have before.
H: SHUT IT!
SH: *Is shocked* Fine!
H: Oh god, we�re all SOOOO emotional. JESUS FREAKING CHRIST!
NPG: Lets PARTY!
HB: I thought you hated parties.
NPG: Only when I am in the place under the over world.
D: Frisky.
NPG: ... No, not really.
D: Oh...*Looks sad*
B: Anyhow... PARTY! *Everyone breaks out into a ferocious party of sorts. Babs immediately goes for the coffee, and gets all coffee drunk. They all party deep into the night.*
H: *Looking at everyone* Well guys... I guess this is it. I got my groove back, and me and Chuck are officially holding hands. This was more than I could ever ask for. Even if I did ask for it, it�s more than I could�ve asked for. You know?
M: I know Hitler...I know.
H: That�s all that really matters.
HB: *Chuck comes out with the bags* Come on Hitler we�ve got to catch that Bus!
H: Okay. Hurry guys write down your numbers for me. Me and Chuck just got this new house out in the country or something. And I now have my own PHONE! So I need number for an address book.
D: Aw, how sweet.
H: Yeah... Okay. Anyhow, Hugs! *All hug and such* I�m sure Chuck sends his love. And I�m pretty sure we�ll meet again. *Walks away to Chuck and they get on the bus*
D: Welp! Me and the Misses best be off to the White House.
B: It�s just A white house honey. Stop thinking you�re the president. Your NOT! Even if you were, your not a very good one. Remember that whole ordeal that was your presidency?
D: Yeah, okay. *A helicopter flies down* That must be for ME!
B: Oh me too! I hope there�s coffee!
D: Yeah, lets not hope.
B: Oh but I am!
D: *Sighs. As the board* Bye everyone! *Waves frantically*
OBL: Well I guess it�s just us now.
SH: What are you talking about. Duran Duran is still here! And Napoleons Ghost is around somewhere.
OBL: *Looks over* Well, what do ya know!
SH: I knew a lot of things. Your kind of lacking in that area.
OBL: Oh you!
SH: We�ll me and Osama are going to go on a Cruise of sorts. Maybe to PERU! Who really knows. I don�t that�s for sure. Be me must get to Florida to go. So... We should go now. G�bye Fidel!
FC: Farewell my friends. Farewell.
*The two run off into the sunset. Or sunrise. Depending on what time it is*
JT: Well, mind if we crash here?
FC: Only if you can promise you�ll never sleep with Simon.
JT: I promise!
SL: JOHN!?
JT: Simon you knew what this was.
SL: You mean a hot, hot love fest?
JT: No, a love hate relationship. I have to hate and you got the love. See how it works.
SL: NO! Not even Andy knows what your talking about. *Turns to Andy*
AT: Actually Simon, I do get it.
SL: Nick!? *Nick nods* Even you Roger? *Roger nods* Oh Roger! You good for nothing whore! *Time passes* Well, I guess this means I should just try a LOT harder!
JT: *Sighs*
*This scene ends with Simon being creepy and Fidel laughing a lot I guess. Also the others are there. Being... there. You know how it is. Anyhow. This scene ends like that. Also Napoleon�s Ghost serves drinks!*
And Scene