Scene: Stalin�s Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness, Mussolini�s house, and The Bar mitzvah Hut
Characters: **In Order of Appearance** Stalin (S), Lead Mongol (LM), Hitler (H), A Voice (V), Dubya (D), Pirate (P), Ninja (N), Chuck (HB), Mussolini (M), Osama Bin Laden (OBL), Saddam Hussein (SH), Joe (J), Old Man (OM), Italian Chef (IC), Lady (L), and Little Jimmy (LJ)
S: *Plotting Hitler�s doom. Laughingly* Yes, yes, YHES! This is going to be great. First my gang of Mongols and I will go over to Mussolini�s house. We get Hitler to come out and then WHAM we hit him. Stuff him into a sack and hang him up like a pi�ata! We then get our bats and or sticks and hit him till he explodes and candy comes out.
LM: *Watching patiently* Wouldn�t guts come out boss?
S: *Startled* HUH? When did you get here�oh, well yes guts will come out� But I�ll throw up some candy and we will all be happy. And dance�I like to dance.
LM: YAY! *Happy dance* Me likey candy. I member when I kid back in home land of Portugal, I eat candy and say yum candy good. *Smiles and rubs him tummy*
S: Who doesn�t like candy?�WHO!? *Twitch* Any who back to my evil plotting of DOOM. *Mumbles* Lets see I went over the WHAM *Makes a fist and hits it in his other hand* and the pi�ata and candy coming out�uh. *Back to normal voice* Oh right, right then we eat the candy and have a victory dance! *Demonstrates dance* We will then tell his friends he is dead and laugh in their dumb faces! *Points his finger in the lead Mongols face and laughs manically*
LM: *Starts to laugh but doesn�t get it* Yes boss that was funny. I laughed�and uh *Strokes his chin and thinks* Uh *He sites there with a blank stare and drool coming out of the corner of his mouth*
*A couple minutes later he is still thinking*
S: Alright then�enough silence and thinking for you Mongol, cause obviously we get no were when you try it.
LM: Uh right boss! *Does a salute*�I will just stand here and make you look smart and pretty. *Stands up strait with his legs together and arms at his side like an army man*
S: *Smiles* Oh that sounds nice�*Pretties himself and then stands there in a pose to look all pretty*
LM: *Marvels at Stalin�s beauty with his hands together by his chin and his head tilted* Wow boss your so pretty. I could gaze at you forever and ever and ever an-
S: *Interruptingly* Well let�s not cause you�ll creep me out�with your staring and your smelly-ness. *Waves his hand in front of his nose and makes a disgusted face*
LM: *Is proud* I sure do smell something awful don�t I?
S: *Chuckles* You sure do, you filthy stinky slob, you�
LM: *Grins showing missing teeth and what not* I also have bad dental ness. Just look at my teeth! *Grins more and points*
S: So I see. *Cringes and what not* Hey your talking skills got better. *Suspiciously* Why?
LM: I think it�s from hanging around you boss. You�re an inspiration to us all. And by all I mean me! *Points to himself*
*Mean while back at Mussolini�s. The house is bustling everyone has something to do. Hitler unparticular. Hitler walks into the phone booth and picks up the phone and dials a phone number*
H: *Mumbles as it rings* I sure hope this is the Pirate and Ninja agency cause I need some Pirates and Ninjas *A voice comes on and says*
V: Hello you have reached the Pirate and Ninja protection agency. Please leave a request after the beep. *BEEP*
H: Hello, *Tangles the phone cord around his fingers* this is Adolph Hitler. And um I�m at Mussolini�s house. *Jokingly* I think we all know where that is. But anyway I would like to put in a request for some Pirate and Ninja protection. Please respond soon I fear something HORRIBLE is going to happen. *Hitler hangs up the phone* Now I must wait. But for how long�*Crazily* A day? A week? A month? A year? THE MADNESS! *Ring-Ring. Hitler picks up the phone* Hello.
D: *Dubya�s voice* Hitler get off the phone it�s for me!
H: FINE! *Hangs up. Mumbles. Crosses arms* Stupid people. Don�t they know I can use the phone too? *Yells* I HAVE RIGHTS! *Stalin conveniently runs by the open window*
S: No you don�t. You groove-less German freak!
H: Go away! Why are you here anyway?
S: Just taking my mid-day jog. You know you can�t run away from your fears all the time! *Walks away*
*The phone rings once more and Hitler answers it*
H: *Mumbles* But he�s the one running away�well walking� *Regular voice* Hello.
V: Hello. This is the Pirate and Ninja protection agency we are calling to return your call. We have sent over some Pirates and Ninjas to protect you against anything that might get you. Like a crazed enemy with a gang of Mongols�or something worse
H: We got to watch out for them.
V: What do you mean we?
H: Oh, well nothing. Anyhow thanks very much�do you know what time they will be showing up at Mussolini�s? *Ding-Dong* Well that was fast.
V: We are the fastest EVER sir�
H: I suppose so�*Chats on*
*Cuts to the door were the Pirates and Ninjas are waiting*
D: *Shouts* I�ll get it! *Runs to the door and opens it and sees the Pirates and Ninjas* EEK! It�s Pirates and Ninjas! They�re here to get me! Not again! *Runs to the bed room and hides in the closet in fear. Bites nails*
P: *Shouts casually* Relax�Um what�s your name?
D: *Walks back to the door sniffling* Dubya.
P: Relax Dubya we are here to protect Hitler. We will fend off foes that want Hitler to suffer and be in pain! Like Mongols would�those Mongols. *Shakes fist*
D: Oh YAY! Hitler and me are friends so I have nothing to worry about. Unless I hurt him or something. But I would never do that to him�cause Hitler ROCKS! * Does the arm cha-ching motion*
N: Exactly. Hitler is something special�*Winks*
*Chuck and Mussolini run to the door to see who�s there*
HB: *Butting in* He sure is� Oh sorry Hello, I�m Chuck *Puts out a hand for them to shake* Where is Hitler?
P: *Shakes his hand* Nice to meet you. I�m Timothy and this is Gregory the Ninja. Yes where is Hitler?
M: In the phone booth� Hello I am Mussolini *Puts out a hand*
P: *Shakes his hand* Hello it�s nice to meet you. I�m Timothy and this is Gregory *Points to the Ninja*
M: Yeah you just said that�
P: Okay.
N: You�re so neat! You have a phone booth?
M: Yes. Who doesn�t? If you don�t then you�re just not up to date on the new-est fads!
P: Lots of people don�t�I think your just making up fads.
M: Well we make things up from time to time! STOP MOCKING ME!
N: I�m not, your ever so neat! I have a poster of you!
HB: *Nods* He sure is! Hey so do I! We�re neat!
M: Yeah it was a fun day when I got drunk and had posters made.
N: And we thank you for it!
*Cuts back to Hitler on the phone*
V: Like I was saying before we are the speedy-est Pirate and Ninja protection agency ever.
H: Aren�t you the only Pirate and Ninja protection agency ever?
V: Well yes but we still are the fastest.
H: Well I guess�any who thanks a bunch for the Pirates and Ninjas they are going to be good protectors. I can feel it in my enormously large brain! It�s so large and powerful! And it knows all things. Like two plus two! *Time passes*
V: Well what�s the answer?
H: Four! Duh!
V: Well good for you�um bye now. *Mumbles* You German freak!
H: *Angered* Bye then! *Hangs up in an angry fashion. Mumbles* Darn people not wanting to talk to me. Every one is all like �Ew it�s Hitler lets not talk to him� *Shouts* I�LL SHOW THEM! *Shakes his fist at something and then walks out to the door into the area with the Pirate and Ninja*
P: You must be Hitler *Puts out a friendly hand* I am Timothy and this is Gregory *Points to Ninja*
H: *Moves the hand and hugs them* You must be my protectors�*Stuttering* I LOVE YOU! Platonically of course.
M: No they are over there. *Points to where they are* Your hugging the coat rack.
H: Oh�hehehe�*Hugs them*
N: Right back at you big guy! *Snappy finger thing* The love�if you got lost in my statement.
H: *Feels special* Well I have a feeling that Stalin my arch enemy is going to do something horrible. Cause you know him. Darn Stalin!
M: Yes we do. What a punk he is. With his world taking overings, and such.
*Cuts back to �Stalin�s Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness�*
S: I�m going to go get the mail Mongol. Stay right here. Or else *Glares*
LM: *Sighs* Fine, I�ll stay here. Can I touch things?
S: No! Remember last time? When you touched my brain switcher and you acted like a pig. And the pig acted like you. Do we want that?
LM: Yes, that was fun!
S: No it wasn�t. You pooped everywhere! We don�t want that. Trust me.
LM: I guess we don�t. *Saddened*�I�ll just sit here in this chair. *Sits*
S: *Walks upstairs and out to the mailbox* Bill, bill, bill, oooh coupon book, bill, an invite to my nephews bar mitzvah I am so going to that! And that�s it for the mail. *Walks inside and sets the mail on the kitchen table and then walks back to his �Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness�*
LM: Get anything good? Did I get anything!?
S: I got an invite to my nephew�s bar mitzvah and mostly bills�you got nothing. As usual
LM: Aw I never get anything! *Is sad* So when is this bar mitzvah?
S: Tomorrow� It�s going to be some good fun. I�m going to take THIS! *Picks up Hitler�s groove and shows it to the Mongol* And carry it in this neat little sack I made. Just look at it! It�s all great looking and I stitched my name into it and �Hitler�s groove located here.� in bright blue letters! *Points to his name and statement*
LM: *Scratches his head* But, why?
S: Why to what? Bringing his groove or putting it in the little sack I made?
LM: Both! Cause I aint not no smart person.
S: I know�well cause if I didn�t Hitler would come into my house and steal it back. You know how evil that Hitler is. Once I stole his sweater vests�and he stole them back! The nerve of that guy! And the sack is so neat. Just look what I can do with it! Watch this�*Places Hitler�s groove box in the sack* Ta-da! *Poses awkwardly*
LM: I get it now! It all makes perfect sense to me. But I never met him. I guess I could hate him. FOR FUN!
S: If you ever do you�ll know how evil he is! But pretending to hate him will work!
*Cuts back to Mussolini�s house*
H: *Shouts* I�m going to go get the mail!
M: Alright tell me if there is anything good�any ways *Cuts to Hitler walking out to the mailbox*
H: *Opens the mailbox* Lets see: Bill, bill, threat, poison, antidote, junk, coupon book, and something for me. *Opens up the letter* I�ve been invited to a bar mitzvah. *Gets happy* FINALLY! *Runs inside to share the good news with everyone*
OBL: Whoa! Slow down there Hitler. *Slows down Hitler* What is it?
H: I�ve *Deep breath* been invited to a bar mitzvah!
OBL: *Girlish scream of glee* No way! That is so exciting. Lets tell the others! *Both enter the living room*
H: Guys I�ve been invited to�a�a bar mitzvah!
D: No way! Can we all go with you?
H: I don�t see why not.
M: Wait, I already knew. And I told you about it.
H: Oh yeah�but now I have an invite! This is one joyous occasion! I�m going to need to get my sweater vest from the dry cleaners.
P: *Heroically* NO NEED! We will do it! In the blink of an eye. Now you all blink
H: Well ok! *Pirates and Ninjas run out and in the blink of an eye are back* Wowzers, that was some fastness!
N: *Chuckles* We are super fast! And smart. Like a robot! Except robots are slow. *Thinks* I�ve got it! We are as fast as a cougar and as smart as robots. And we float like butterflies and sting like some kind of thing that stings people. Like uh an electric eel!
D: Wow that rolls off the tongue smoothly.
N: You shush! *Puts his finger up to his mouth in the shushing fashion*
*All start yelling but Saddam calms them down*
SH: Fella�s, why are we fighting? We are all friends here. Forgive and forget all this silly feuding.
ALL: *Not at once* Fine�sorry everyone.
*Back in �Stalin�s Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness� Stalin is getting ready to go after Hitler*
S: Alright lets g- AH! It�s a bee! *Screams and runs around swatting and trying to get away from the bee* Ow! It stung me�*Lights go dark except for a spot light on Stalin* Once I take care of the Hitler, I will began my war against...the bees! Any how back to my getting ready to get Hitler! *Puts on his black sneaky outfit* Come on Mongols we have evil to bestow upon people!
LM: Alright boss. Yay! EVIL! *Clears throat* Do we get black sneaky outfits too?
S: Yes they are in the front closet. But make it fast!
LM: *Walks to the closet. Shouts* I don�t see them!
S: *Sigh. Shouts back* Behind the vacuum!
LM: *Shouts* Oh alright I see them now! *Dresses up* I am ready. Want to know my worst fear ever boss?
S: Sure. That could be useful. *Starts to laugh evilly*
LM: *Interrupts the evil laughter* Being attacked by Pirates and Ninjas cause they are sneaky and they have ninja skills and swords. They could make me have peg legs and eye patches. It would be utter madness. I�d die in fear of them.
S: *Laughs* You said UTTER! *Laughs more*
LM: *Laughs* I sure did boss. *Slaps Stalin on the back* HA HA HA! That was a good one, Eh?
S: *Is disgusted. Slaps his hand* Don�t touch me you filthy slob!
LM: I�m sorry let�s be friends. *Opens arms for a hug*
S: Alright! But no hugs! You�re smelly�
LM: Oh come on! *Walks closer and closer with open arms* Once your around me for a while you wont even smell the bad smell.
S: NO, GET AWAY! GET AWAY! Any who lets go to Hitler�s house and fulfill my evil plans of horror and doom. Hitler will be all like �the HORROR AND DOOM!�
LM: That was very original boss. You�re a genius! And a snazzy dresser!
S: MHM! Now shoosh. We have to be very quiet from now on cause�uh- well cause I said so.
*Lead Mongol nods starts to hum the James Bond tune (Wa-na-na, Wa-na-na, Na-na) something to that effect*
S: I said no noises. *Slaps him lightly on the noggin* You silly gooth�I mean goose *Looks around frantically to see if anyone herd that*
*Both Stalin and his Mongols walk to Hitler�s house very quietly*
S: *Whispers* Ok now to execute my plan of evil! *Stalin knocks on the door. Deeper voice* Telegram for Hitler!
D: *Walks to the door but doesn�t open it* Hitler it�s for you�
H: Okay. Uh oh my HORRIBLE sense is all tingly. Pirate and Ninja come stand behind me. I think I might need your help!
P: Right away master! We obey! *Salutes*
*Hitler comes running to the door and answers it. Stalin try�s throws him in a sack. But then the Pirate and Ninja see him*
H: Pirate and Ninja get them!
LM: AH! Pirates and Ninjas!
*The Pirate and Ninja hurt Stalin and his gang of Mongols and they run home crying*
N: We took care of that jerk! And those Mongols.
H: Thanks a bunch guys. *High five* I knew Stalin was going to do something HORRIBLE! I could tell�I have a sense for these things. Remember back in the house when I said my HORRIBLE sense was all tingly?
N: Yes we remember. And we are here for you. To protect you, make you safe. Safe like an endangered species that is being protected.
*Cuts to Stalin in his house*
S: *Sniffle* That was embarrassing wasn�t it?
LM: Sure was boss�*Hangs his head in shame*
S: And I didn�t even get to kill Hitler like I wanted to�*Is saddened* When will Hitler DIE!?
LM: Probably around some time in 1945. Give or take a year.
S: Yeah probably. You always know how to make me feel good. That�s why I have you here. Well I best get ready for that bar mitzvah that is tomorrow.
LM: Hey me too! Cause you know you and me are pals and I know you want me to go too! Don�t you? Don�t make me go into some kind of break down�
S: Alright, alright you can go. But don�t embarrass me. Like when we went to the carnival and you yelled out �Look there�s the big smelly bearded pig!� and you ran over to it. And jumped on it�s back and shouted ye-haw lets get this piggy on the move.
LM: I remember. But that�s not embarrassing. Well maybe an incey bit.
S: Well it was a woman!
LM: So?
S: So she was self-conscious about her beardedness and her smelly-ness and being fat! And you rode her like a horse!
LM: Oh I make one mistake and every one gets all upset! Alright then. No embarrassing you, on purpose. I promise!
S: Thanks.
*Cuts back to Mussolini�s*
H: Alright well guys I need to go home now. My dog Joe needs some interaction with another living creature. Besides the blender� *Shouts* Bye all!
M: Bye Hitler�See you tomorrow at the bar mitzvah! Oh, bye Gregory and Timothy!
N: Bye! See you tomorrow. *To Hitler* This is going to be some fun!
H: I know Pirate and Ninja.
P: Why must you call us Pirate and Ninja? WE HAVE NAMES!
H: Really? Well you could have said something to me�so I wouldn�t make the mistake. *Is angered* But NO! Everyone likes to not inform Hitler. Cause I guess that�s the new fun thing to do. *Is saddened*
P: I am sorry. Well *Pirate steps forward* I am Timothy and this *Puts out his arm to introduce the Ninja. The Ninja steps forward* is Gregory.
N: Hello. As you have heard I am Gregory! It�s nice to be using real names. And not some kind of nickname.
H: I want a nickname!
P: Maybe later.
H: Hooray!
*Cuts to �Stalin�s Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness�*
S: I�m going to go throw some rocks at Hitler!
LM: *Is watching the nature channel with a pig rolling around in mud and oinking* Oh sure boss. Have fun *Drinks some �Diet Dr. Super Human Powers Cola�*
*Stalin leaves and we see him creeping up through the bushes and towards the door way where Hitler Gregory and Timothy are*
S: *Runs by the door to throw rocks at Hitler* HA HA HA! I got you!
H: No you missed. See! *Points to Mussolini�s broken window were the rock went through*
S: Darn�I�ll get you Big H and your little friends too. Ha ha ha ha *Poofs away in a cloud of sinister dark madness smoke*
H: Hey that�s a great nickname! *Gets all-mystical* �The Big H� *Mystical-ness ends* Well then it�s settled I will be called The Big H! Ok well bye everyone *Leaves with his Pirate (Timothy) and Ninja (Gregory)* It sure is dark out�I�m glad I live right next to Mussolini. *Walks to his house and goes in*
J: *Excitedly* RUFF RUFF!
H: JOE! *Runs and gives Joe a hug* I missed you boy. Did you miss me?
J: Ruff ruff ruff ruffers!
H: Interesting! *Ponders*
P: *Concerned* What is it?
H: Oh nothing Joe is just rambling on about things. *Laughs* Like one time he talked for hours until I got him a mussel. Now I have to put it on him every night. *Doggy human mumbley talk* Don�t I Joe? Yes I do. Yes I do! Who�s a good doggy? You are. YES YOU ARE!
P: Yes well you best get to sleep. We don�t need sleep. Cause well we are Pirates and Ninjas. And we are great!
H: *Chuckles* You sure is. Well first let me go get my clothes ready. *Walks into his room and gets out some khaki pants, a slick dark belt, nice high socks, shinny new loafers, black long sleeve shirt, his newly cleaned sweater vest, his comb over comb, and all his other dressings* Well I better go iron this so they are nice and wrinkle free *Irons clothes* Finished. I�ll lay them on the couch. No! I�ll put them on hangers! I am so smart. *Thinks to himself �What�s two plus two? Why four of course�. Shouts* I am brilliant! *Gets into his sleep clothes and gets into his bed and goes to sleep*
N: *In the morning he shakes Hitler* Wakey, wakey. It�s bar mitzvah time!
H: Finally! *Showers and sings some songs from previous scenes and then gets on all his dressings*
P: *Whiney* Hurry Hitler will we be late! *Gets antsy*
H: *Works on comb over* One moment I must perfect my comb over. *Perfects it* PERFECT! *Snappy finger thing to the mirror* Hey baby! *Smacky thing* Why am I so amazing!? *(Rhetorical)*
*After more perfection in his mirror they leave for the bar mitzvah, *Anouncy* Mean while back at Stalin�s*
S: *Tries to tie his tie. Screams of anger* I can�t get this dang tie to tie! *Rips off his tie and yells at it* You stupid tie! YOU MUST DIE! *Throws it to the ground and stomps on it. Evil laughing* Alright I am ready to go! Come on Mongol.
*They both leave and come into the bar mitzvah*
LM: Hey we are early! YAY! *Dances around*
S: I think we are in the wrong place. *Looks at the sign and reads* ARG! This is little Timmy Johnson�s bar mitzvah. My nephew�s is next door�let�s go. *Leave and walk into the next place*
LM: Yay! Were late! *Dances again*
S: Hey clams! *Eats some*
H: *Gasps with terror. Dramatic Music* It�s Stalin. I must cower in terror!
M: *Slaps Hitler* Snap out of it. He�s only a person who won at poker. You�re better than he is!
H: Ow� *Rubs his cheek* That hurt. But you�re right! *Walks up to Stalin all tough like* Hey Stalin!
S: *Casually like it�s a friend* Oh hey Big H! *Notices it�s Hitler. Gasps* Big H! What are you doing here? He�s my nephew. Not yours!
H: Well his mom and me dated back in our school days. *Is proud*
S: But, you�re gay! *Is confused*
H: Shut up you! I was confused and not knowing of my gayness. YOUR MOM SMELLS!
S: Why does every one say that!? *Runs to the bathroom upset and slightly sickened*
D: Battle of wits right there! YAY HITLER!
H: Yes I am victorious! But for how long? *Gets hit in the head my an elderly old man* Ow! *Runs away*
OM: I�ll teach you to make my little son cry. Come back here. And YOU *Points to Dubya* Fetch my whacking stick!
D: Right awa-
P: *Puts his arm out to stop Dubya.* No Dubya that would be hurting Hitler. Then we would have to hurt you. Do we want that?
D: *Is saddened* I guess not. *Sits*
OBL: I�m going to get some punch!
SH: Me too. *Both go to get some punch and food* Wow! *Takes a bite* This is some good food!
OBL: Sure is! *Gobbles up the food*
M: Guys hate to interrupt but those are the flowers. Foods over there *Points to the food*
SH: Oh *Both run over to the food* This food is scrumptious!
OBL: Sure is Saddam! Although those flowers has some goodness in them. *Sigh* Oh well! *Both eat on*
*Cuts to the pirates and ninjas both laughing*
N: And look he�s all Mongol-y *Both laugh hysterically*
LM: I am angry! *Mongol and the Pirate and Ninja get into a fight* Lets take it outside! *They all go outside*
H: Uh oh I am all alone with no defenses. *Gasps* Oh my gosh. My groove is sitting there just waiting for me to grab it. *Goes down to get it but the elderly man gets him*
OM: *Slaps him with his whacking cane* Not so fast sunny jam! I�m going to get you! And eat your inners for break fast!
H: I�m not afraid of you. *Pushes him over*
OM: Ahh! *Falls over like a tree* Help! I�m like a turtle on his shell�*Whines more*
H: *Points and laughs and then picks up his groove* Finally. Stalin is beaten! *Sings �Revived�*
S: *Comes out of the bathroom* Phew! Don�t go in there. I had some bad clams earlier�*Looks at Hitler is disbelief* You�you�ve got your groove? Impossible! It was protected by my�*Screams of anger* WHERE IS MY MONGOL!? And the old man�
OM: Help! *Flailing his arms* I told you I�m like a turtle on his shell. That means I am helpless. Don�t make soup out of me! *We hear Mussolini laughing at the man*
IC: *Comes out of the kitchen* Oh look a turtle! *Walks over and picks up the old man* Gosh you�re a heavy turtle�but your full of meat! Mmm I can taste you now. *Walks back into the kitchen and we hear screams and boiling. Mussolini gasps in terror*
D: Um alright�moving on�
IC: *Opens the kitchen door and yells* The turtle is finished!
D: YAY! I am in front of that line. *Pushing through the crowd* �Scuse me, Pardon, coming through, watch it, move it or loose it. *Looks at the �Turtle�* YAY TURTLE! *Takes a big hunk and eats it up* Oh this is so good!
S: The old man has failed me! And now�now you have your groove. I am no more! *Gets to his knees* Why world!? *All long and drawn out* WHY!? *Cries*
*Pirates and ninjas enter the room again*
P: Well that�s done! *Claps his hands in a getting rid of dirt fashion*
N: Yep! We took that evil Mongol and hung him on a flagpole by his underwear�and he�s only wearing his underwear. *Everyone rushes outside*
LM: Boss I have embarrassed you! I am ashamed�*Is ashamed*
L: Who�s that guys boss? Cause who ever is�well he or she is a bad boss that�s for sure! *Crowd agrees* A bad boss indeed!
LM: Oh Joe is my boss. Joseph Stalin. *Crowd points and laughs at Stalin*
*Stalin slinks away and then runs home upset and humiliated*
H: *Laughs some more* Oh that was great�and now it�s time for me to head on home� Why didn�t chuck come?
HB: I did come but I had some bad shrimp and have been in the bathroom since we got here.
H: Oh yes I remember now�I don�t eat shrimp. Well I think we should all get home now! This was the best bar mitzvah ever. *Everyone leaves and Little Jimmy gets up to the podium*
LJ: But I didn�t do my bar mitzvah! Where are my parents? Is the priest even here? *Cries*
And Scene