Scene: Mussolini�s House, Bar mitzvah Hut, Frolicking Field, Egg Store, Streets, The Beach.
Characters: **In Order of Appearance** Hitler (H), Mussolini (M), Little Jimmy (LJ), Italian Chef (IC), Dubya (D), Osama Bin Laden (OBL), Saddam Hussein (SH), Lady (L), Ninja Gregory (N), Pirate Timothy (P), Clerk ( C ), Penelope The Chicken (PC), Stalin (S), Chuck (HB), King Mitch (KM), Lead Mongol (LM), Gnomes (G), and Mysterious Voices (MV), and Napoleons Ghost (NPG)
*All are sitting down in Mussolini�s house after running from the bar mitzvah*
H: *Out of breath* Well that was the best-est bar mitzvah, EVER!
M: I agree, I can�t help but think that we forgot something.
*Cuts back to the bar mitzvah place. Little Jimmy is talking to the Italian Chef. The Italian Chef is knitting and sort of paying attention*
LJ: *All angry and such* Everyone always comes to get their grooves back! Well this must stop now! I�ve had 24 bar mitzvahs and never finished one�they always leave when something funner happens. Or they find their crazy fun groove. Just once! I�d like to find my groove and become a man. Just ONCE! Well you know what?
*Time passes and Little Jimmy clears his throat*
IC: *Stops his knitting* Oh, no what?
LJ: I�ll seek my revenge on that, that indespicable Hitler. And maybe his friends too! Also we could make brownies to taunt them. *Laughs evilly* Cause who can resist brownies? *Time passes* WHO I ASK, WHO!?
IC: *Still knitting but stops and sighs* Oh, no one boss, no one.
LJ: Exactly! Then we could�throw them a bar mitzvah! And ditch them there and they will feel my pain! My pain of ditching and sadness�*Feels pain once more*
IC: Can I help? I like to be evil. One time I cooked a turtle and served it to people for dinner. *Laughs evilly* And I pushed an old man too�before I did it he was all like: *Old man voice* Stop you foolish youngin� your going to make me have an accident�*Regular voice* Then I pushed him and he was all like *Old mad voice* Now you gone and made me have an accident! Way to go sunny! *Shakes his fist*
LJ: That was more than a little disturbing�but I guess you can help in the EVIL! Hence the we in my speech. Now lets go make invites to their bar mitzvah!
IC: Can we call it a: *Finger Quotes* �Bar Mitzvah�?
LJ: Well�I guess. *The Italian Chef squeals with glee* Now for the invites!
*Leave to make invites. Cuts to Mussolini�s house*
D: *Yells* Mussolini! Come to me, my child!
M: *Mussolini comes to Dubya and sees Saddam and Osama all sitting in there with him* Yes?
OBL: *Twirling his beard hairs with his fingers* We was talking about stuff, and we need your help. *Stops*
M: *Interested* Uh huh. Go on.
SH: Well we need to get back to our own time. We-
D: *Interrupts* I MISS BABS!
SH: Thanks for interrupting. JERK!
D: Oh anyti-*Realizes that Saddam wasn�t thanking him* Hey! That was mean. *Is Saddened* You have hurt me Saddam, deep down, in my soul, my precious, *His voice trembles* precious SOUL!
SH: I am sorry. *Shouts happily* Lets be friends!
D: OKAY! *Both Hug* I feel better and hug-oh-riffic! Like a fuzzy little bunny who gets hugged a lot�*Feels special*
M: *Impatient* Yes well that�s all fine and dandy but what did you want me for?
OBL: *Agitated* I told you we need to get back to our time. *Tears up* Dubya misses Bab�s, I miss being a terrorist, and�and Saddam, well he misses hiding from the Americans!
M: I see. Well I will do what I can and think of a grand plan! I know we had a plan before�but I forgot what it was. So! I�ll make a newer grander one! *Leaves to his thinking room. As he leaves he mumbles* Now I thought I wrote it down�*Snaps* I knew I should have looked at those papers before I shredded them�but NOOOO! I just shred whatever�s lying around�*Hits his forehead repeatedly* Stupid Mussolini, stupid, stupid, stupid!
SH: YAY! Now we might get to go home sooner! *All Cheer*
*Cuts to Little Jimmy and the Italian Chef finishing up the invites to Hitler�s �Bar Mitzvah�*
LJ: *Finishes his last one* Ah, finished and they look so spiffy! *Marvels at the spiffy-ness of the invite* I really think that the purple trim goes with the lacy inner parts.
IC: It sure does! Hitler is going to freak when he gets this. Then he will show up and take a potty break and *Loudly. It makes Little Jimmy jump* BAM! We all leave! *Laughs evilly*
LJ: *Hesitates but laughs along evilly* Well I say we go and mail these puppies! *Picks up his box of puppies. Barks are heard*
IC: *Stops him* Hey, hey, hey, we don�t mail puppy�s, we sell them door-to-door, remember?
LJ: *Laughs at his mistake* Oh yes, I�m sorry you little puppies I didn�t mean it! *Sets down the box of puppies* Now lets mail these puppies! *Picks up the box of puppies again. More barks are heard*
IC: NO! We don�t mail puppies! Do you have a hearing problem?
LJ: Yes�*Tears up and sets down the puppy box. Time passes* Now lets mail these invites! *Picks up the puppy box*
IC: *Heavy sigh and then snatches the box from Little Jimmy* What is wrong with YOU!? We don�t mail puppies!
LJ: *Sad* Well�well why not?
IC: Cause we sell them door-to-door! And they get all�like dead in the mail.
LJ: *Laughs* Oh right. Now lets mail these invites!
IC: Now you�re talking! *They go out and mail the invites to everyone and then sell some puppies door-to-door*
LJ: *Goes to a door. He knocks and some one answers* Want a *Loudly and excitedly and tilts his head* puppy!?
L: Sure! *Takes the puppy*
*Cuts to Hitler�s house as Hitler, Gregory, and Timothy are talking*
H: So Gregory and Timothy�what do you want to do?
N: I�m not sure, what do you want to do Timothy?
P: I�m not sure either�want to go throw eggs at Stalin�s house?
H: DO I!? *Time passes*
P: Do you?
H: I DO! Now that I have back my groove I can do anything! Lets go to the egg store and get some eggs!
*They all get up and get ready to go to the egg store and then leave*
H: It�s convenient that the egg store is right next door to my house�I wonder why I never really noticed it�oh well lets all go in and get some eggs!
*All enter the egg store*
P: *In awe* There�re�there�re so many EGGS! *Hops around giddily*
N: Lets just get a whole bunch of them! *They both run into the back room laughing and giggling*
H: *Goes up to the counter* Hello, I would like some rotten eggs please! Make sure they are extra rotten!
C: Are you fella�s going to go egg some ones house?
H: *Panicking* Uh no, we aren�t. We just like rotten foods, you see we do dares and see who can eat the most. *Laughs all nervously. Then seriously* We�re odd.
C: You sure are�*Rings it all up* Okay that comes to about $20.00.
H: TWENTY DOLLARS!?
C: Yes, $20.00...
H: Oh alright. Just making sure�can never be too careful�you know?
C: Oh I know�I wish I were more careful. *Remembers painful times and time passes*
H: *Snaps fingers* Hey buddy I aint got all day!
*We hear Timothy and Gregory laughing*
H: *Sighs* What are you two doing? *Turns around. Looks in shock* Where did that chicken come from?
P: We found it.
H: Where did you find this chicken?
N: In the back, where they keep chickens and milk out the eggs.
H: They don�t milk eggs out of chickens you fool. *Parentally* Don�t you put that chicken on your head. *We hear gobbles* Get that chicken off of your head. *Yells* I SAID GET IT OFF! Don�t make me come over there�HEY! You put that finger down. PUT IT DOWN! Oh when Mussolini hears this is he going to be so mad. You wont even be able to breathe! *We hear laughter* NOW PUT DOWN THAT CHICKEN! *Sighs and turns to the clerk* I�ll be taking that chicken too.
C: Alright now that comes to a total of $32.64.
H: *Pulls out his money and pays the clerk and they all leave* I was very disappointed and ashamed in you two tonight. What possessed you to ask like such fools, and in public? Eh, it doesn�t matter. Lets take these eggs and go *We hear a gobble. Sigh* and your chicken and go egg Stalin�s house!
N: Yeah lets! *Laughs evilly*
*All arrive at Stalin�s house. More gobbling is heard*
P: I�m going to name you Penelope, yes your Penelope the chicken. You and me are going to be best friends till the end of time! How long are we going to be friends?
PC: Gobble dee gobble
P: That�s right! The end of time� *Moves his hand in a half circular motion over their heads* Penelope why do you gobble if you�re a chicken�don�t chickens cluck for something.
*Penelope shrugs*
H: *Finger to his mouth* Shh, if you keep it up we are going to have fried chicken for dinner!
N: *Excited* Oh goodie I love fried chicken! Can we have corn bread and black-eyed peas too?
H: *Sighs* You don�t get it. I meant we are going to make fried chicken out of Penelope.
PC: *Gasps* GOBBLE!
P: Penelope says that was a cruel, cruel game to play. And you should feel ashamed.
N: HEY! You can�t make chicken out of Penelope. She�s a chicken! Lets put two and two together here Hitler.
H: *Yells* Will you just shut up!
*Stalin�s lights flick on and the door opens. Hitler and friends hide in the bushes*
S: Who�s out there? Your lucky it�s dark out. *Gets hit with an egg and falls to the ground* Ow� *Starts to cry*
PC: Gobble gobble gobly goooble dee gobley!
P: Penelope says �It�s not night time you incompetent fool! Your wearing eye patches!�
S: *Realizes* Hey what do you know! I am�*Chuckles* No wonder I�m not tired� Oh I am so crazy!
H: *Throws another egg* Take that JERK! *Stalin gets hit and falls to the ground in slow motion. Screaming out �No� all slow like*
*Everyone runs away laughing and pushing each other. Gobbles are heard. Cuts to Little Jimmy and the Italian Chef*
LJ: Now that those invites have been mailed we just have to wait by the phone for the RSVP�s *Sits by the phone and it rings, rings again, and again* Phil!
IC: Yes my evil master Jimmy?
LJ: Get the phone!
IC: Yes master! Right away. *Picks up the phone* Ello, ello!
KM: I�ve gotten your note. And I�m in for the torture and evilness against those people who escaped. *Flashes back with Mitch narrating* I took them to my waiting room, which so happens to be linked with a poker room. And some how they escaped. No note or anything, I was bringing some massage oils for them and we were going to talk of our dreams and aspirations for the future. With foot massages! *Flash back ends* But now, now it�s personal. I shall seek my revenge on account of them not leaving me a NOTE! It was very hurtful�
IC: *Drawing a picture not really listening. With his head tilted holding the phone between his should and his head* Uh huh, may I ask who is calling?
KM: Oh tis� I King Gnome Mitch! *Thunder cracks. Evil laughing is heard. Dramatic music plays. And King Mitch clears his throat* Well that was odd wasn�t it?
IC: Well it was something else� Any who we have a plan and everything. Now first we start with�*Fades and cuts to Hitler and the gang*
H: *Practicing* Well thank you for your services but we no longer need you. No that doesn�t sound right�ARG! Umm�I don�t want you with me any more. NO! *Sighs* How will I break it to them that I don�t like them any more? *Hear knocks on the door. Turns* Oh Timothy and Gregory I didn�t notice you there.
P: *Sassy* We get the big picture Hitler!
N: What picture? Hitler did you draw me a picture? *Playful* Come on you can tell me. Oh is It! *Points to Hitler�s Portrait* Is it this one? Oh it is! Isn�t it? I can tell by your blank stare that it is!
P: No Gregory, we are getting no picture. Hitler doesn�t want us around any more�
N: Hitler�is�is that true?
H: Yeah that�s the gist of it.
N: YOUR LYING!
*Hitler gets handed Penelope*
P: Take her, they don�t allow her back at the academy. *Tears up* Be gentile with her. *Cries are heard and he runs out*
N: Well I�m taking your portrait any who. So I can remember you. Here take my uh�*Takes off his belt and hands it to Hitler* Here take this.
H: No I couldn�t *Turns away*
N: *Turns Hitler around* Why sure you can. *Hands it to him* Take it!
H: No! I can�t�I wont!
N: Why not? My belt not good enough for the �Great ole Hitler�?
H: No, it�s the only thing holding up your pants�
N: Oh. *Laughs* I�ll mail it to you. *Winks and leaves*
H: *Shouts* Your pants are still down!
N: Like I don�t know that! *Walks away more. Yells* Bye Hitler! I hope we see you again some time�maybe in a picnic of sorts. Or I could save you from a big evil gnome� Only time will tell!
H: Possibly�*Ponders that and shouts* Bye Gregory� Tell Timothy I said bye too!
N: *Shouts back* Can do! *Waves and walks away more*
*Hitler walks over to Mussolini�s house*
H: *To himself* How could I have done that? I needed them to help protect me�what if Stalin shows up again with more evil? Or what if I meet an old foe? *Is in shock* Or a new foe!? I just don�t know what to do�*Knocks on Mussolini�s door*
*Inside*
M: *Laughing. Hears the knock* I�ll get it! *Runs up to the door and opens it. Hitler is crying. Mussolini is concerned* Hitler what is it? *Brings him in and sits him on the couch. The room goes silent as they all pay attention to Hitler�s issues*
H: Well *Sniffle* I�sent Gregory and Timothy back to the agency�*Burst into tears*
HB: *Gasps* But now who will protect you from Stalin and the other evils?
H: I don�t know�*Time passes with sniffles* I just couldn�t have them with me any more. They were getting annoying and�were loud when we egged Stalin�s house�
M: You egged Stalin�s house? *Disappointed* Hitler what were you thinking?
H: They brought it up and I thought it would be fun and�I�I�m just so ashamed! *Runs up to the guest room and locks the door*
HB: I�ll go comfort him
M: *Stops him* No�he has to think of what he has done.
*Cuts to Stalin and the Lead Mongol walking to the Bar Mitzvah place*
S: I can�t believe I left my neat groove carrying sack here�*Sigh* I left you in charge of it! But can you do anything right!? NO!
LM: Yeah boss I�m pretty pathetic�*Shakes his head in disapproval*
S: ARG! I know it�*Opens the door and sees Little Jimmy and the Italian Chef throwing darts at a picture of Hitler* Oh *Shocked to see them* I�m sorry I didn�t know any one was here I�ll just leave. *Starts to leave and sees that it�s a picture of Hitler the darts are hitting* Hey�you hate Hitler too?
LJ: WE DO! He ruined my bar mitzvah!
S: Oh my gosh! So do we! *Runs over to them. Happily* He ruined my life!
LJ: Wow would you like to help us embarrass him and stuff?
S: I really do want to help! Tell me everything!
LJ: Ok here�s our plan. *Whispers*
*Cuts to Dubya in the Kitchen*
D: *Screams in pain*
*Osama and Saddam run in concerned*
OBL: Dubya what is it?
D: I burned my self on this popcorn�curse you popcorn! You think you�re so great and *Talks slower* tasty and�delicious. Probably cause you are! *Hugs the popcorn bag* Ow it�s hot! *Drops the bag* Nooo! *Gets on the floor and starts to eat it*
SH: *Shakes head* Dubya get up! *Picks up Dubya* Well next time wait and let it cool before you open it. Okay?
D: NEVER! I could never let this precious, precious food get cold and un eaten. It has to be eaten as soon as possible! And even if it�s dirty�it mustn�t go to waste!
SH: Well fine but when you get burned, or get some kind of disease again don�t come crawling back to me!
D: Okay! I�ll go to Mussolini!
SH: Good! Cause I wont help you!
D: Fine then! *Stomps out of the kitchen* Mussolini?
M: Yes Dubya?
D: I burned my self! *Whimpers*
M: *Is shocked* BURNED YOURSELF!? Let�s get some ice on that. PRONTO! *Runs into the kitchen to get ice. Gets ice and runs back* Here you are *Places ice on the burn*
D: Ah. *Sigh of relief* It�s cold�thank you.
M: Anytime ole chap! *Calls* Oh Hitler!
H: *Shouts from another room* Yes?
M: Meet me in the kitchen. YOU TOO CHUCK! We have some things to chat about�
HB: Okay! I�ll be right there! I just got to finish my salad�*Eats* Okay here I come! *Runs into the kitchen*
*Ding-Dong*
*Saddam, Osama, and Dubya all shout �I�ll get it!� and run up to the door and open it a gnome shadowy figure stands in the door way and they all get sprayed with dust and fall over and are dragged away*
M: *Enters the room calling them all* Osama, Saddam, Dubya? I have that plan for you guys to get back to the future� Where are you all�oh well I�m going to have some tea! *Excited* YAY! I�M GETTING TEA! *Runs into the kitchen excited*
*Cuts to Little Jimmy, Italian Chef, Stalin, and the Lead Mongol getting everything ready for Hitler�s �Bar Mitzvah.� Mitch enters*
KM: Well thank you guys for telling me where these guys were�now to take them to my EVIL field of frolicking. TA! *Waves and leaves*
*Cuts to Hitler, Chuck, and Mussolini*
H: *Shrieks* DUBYA, SADDAM, AND OSAMA ARE GONE! And by the looks of this they were dragged! *Heroically* I shall search for them with my pals Chuck and Mussolini! But before that I�m going to check the mail! *Runs out to the mail box*
M: *Screams*
*Hitler comes running back with the mail and asks*
H: What�s wrong?
M: Dubya, Saddam, and Osama are gone!
H: I know I just said that�
M: Oh well I was just trying to help�
HB: *Screams* Dubya, Saddam, and Osama are gone!
H, M: WE KNOW!
HB: WELL FINE THEN! Hey what did we get in the mail?
H: I will check now! *Check what�s in his hand* Hey we got a �Bar Mitzvah� invite� It�s today! But we must look for our friends�I can�t make it. *Is sad. Drops to his knees and looks up into the sky with his fist shaking all pointing to the sky* Is this your kind of FUNNY!? HUH? DO YOU!
*Awkward silence*
M: Well Hitler I didn�t set this up �
H: Oh well alright. *Looks at chuck* Ahem!
HB: Hey I didn�t do it either!
H: Then let us look for our friends! *Start to leave Mussolini�s house is search for their friends but realizes that Penelope isn�t with him* Oh wait guys I got to go make sure Penelope will be safe without me. *Walks into the guestroom and make sure Penelope is ok. Walks out* Yeah she�s fine�now we can leave! *They all leave*
*After looking for several hours it�s now night time and they find a clue*
HB: JINKIES! I dun found Osama�s turban it�s all turbany and stuff!
M: We must be going in the right direction!
*They hear Dubya�s screams coming for a beautiful field were you could frolic but it seems to be evil all at the same time*
H: Golly did you hear that!
HB: *Eating an ice cream cone. Mouth full* Hear what?
*Again there was Dubya�s screams� coming from the same direction*
M: I wonder why he is screaming!
*Cuts to Dubya, King Mitch is plucking his eyebrows with tweezers*
D: Why are you doing this to me? Why not the others?
SH, OBL: SHH! Be quiet! We don�t want to have our eyebrows plucked�that hurts!
D: *Sarcastic* No really?
OBL: Really!
KM: I was going to do them next�but since you said that I will now pluck yours even longer! *Laughs uncontrollably*
D: *Screams* WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?
KM: All of your eyebrows really need a plucking.
All: *Nod in agreement and say words like Yeah, uh huh etc. and Mitch plucks again*
KM: Oh and I�m torturing you. WITH PAIN!
D: Not pain!
KM: That�s right. Pain!
*Dubya screams and it cuts back to Hitler and the gang*
M: There it was again. HURRY! Lets run in this direction. *Points to where the screams are coming from and they all run towards it. Also there is a flickering light coming form the same direction*
H: *Trips and screams in pain Mussolini and Chuck stop* No go on without me!
M: No we can�t�you�you�re the coffee in my cup. The frosting on my cake, the apple in my pie, the wind beneath my wings, the meat in my taco�the�wow that last one was weird wasn�t it.
HB: *Nods* It sure was weird like that time you married that monkey in Italy�crazy times.
M: *Laughs* Yes, a few too many martini�s. *Seriously* But come on Hitler we must go!
H: *Rubs his scrapped knees* Ok but it will take us longer�
M: We are only a couple yards away�PUSH THROUGH THAT PAIN. *Pokes Hitler�s scrapes*
H: OW! What was that for?
M: You must push through that!
H: Your hand? Cause that�s like a solid object�it would be hard�
M: The PAIN�we went over this.
H: *Snappy Finger thing* Riiight�
*They walk up and hide behind a tree where they see Dubya, Saddam, and Osama being tortured by Mitch. A fire is lighting the little campy place*
H: *Starts to walk up but is grabbed by Mussolini. Whispers* What are you doing? I was going to go save them!
M: *Whispers* That�s just what they want us to do!
H: *Whispers* Yeah cause they are being tortured! I�m going! *Walks out and says* Hey Mitch!
KM: Why hey Hitler! *Secret handshake* What be up dawg?
H: Why nothing much homie G! Why don�t you let my pals here go What did they do to you!?
KM: I was going to be their friends and give them foot massages but they left with out so much as a note!
H: *Gasps* Is that true fellas?
D: Well we thought he was going to hurt us�it was an honest mistake!
KM: NO! *Pushes Hitler to the ground* Now you are my prisoner! GNOMES, come get your new play toy thingy!
H: Why did you push me?
KM: Because! I�m evil. Gnomes, come!
H: But I thought we were friends.
KM: You thought wrong. Now where the hell are them gnomes?
*Little gnomes� come and drag Hitler away. Hitler is kicking and screaming*
G: We are going to shave your head and call you Suzie!
H: NOOOOOOOO! *Fades as he is dragged away*
*Cuts back to Mussolini and Chuck*
HB: We got to go save him! *Starts to get up*
KM: Huh? *Turns and sees Mussolini and Chuck* Oh more torturees. Come to me! *Chuck approaches* You are now going to�*Is hit with a rock* Ow what the�*Is hit with a bird* Ow. A bird!? *We hear chirps*
MV: Back away from my chums!
KM: Never! I must torture them for being mean to me. And stuff!
MV: Well now you must DIE!
KM: But I am so darn lovable, like chocolate!
N: I think NOT! *Ninja Moves* HI-YAH! *Kicks Mitch*
KM: *Hops around holding his leg* Ow that hurts JERK! Why I outta *Shakes first*
P: ARG! Don�t you hurt my pal! You devil in disguise!
HB: Is that�*Timothy hops out of the shadows and Chuck screams* It is! It�s Timothy!
P: Aye tis� I! Now you let my pals go!
KM: All of them? Cause I could let you and this Ninja have Dubya, Saddam, and Osama.
N: And leave chuck here? I think not! We must resort to violence!
D: *Is shocked* Violence!? Well guys keep it PG for all our youngin�s out there.
N: NEVER! We hurt people in our own way�but in the restrictions of a PG-13 environment.
D: *Agitated* Fiiine, make it quick!
P: *Takes out his sword and plunges it into King Mitch�s stomach*
N: *Kicks him all over: legs, arms, head, sides and other places*
KM: OW MY SPLEEN! *Holds the area where his spleen is located falls over with his last grasp he pulls out Osama�s brownie bag and sets it on the ground*
OBL: *Is happy* I�ve been looking for you! I thought I lost you while I took that ride in the dryer. You know the dryer gnomes�*To the Brownie bag* But shh they have cousins here� We must keep them on the low down� You saw how they took Hitler.
SH: *Gasps* HITLER! Did any of you see where they took him?
*All except Osama shake their head no*
M: But we must find him!
N: My Hitler sense is all tingly what could this mean?
OBL: *Clueless to the conversation yells out* I MISSED YOU BROWNIE BAG! I�m going to name you. But what? What would fit this�this beautiful bag? I know Josephine!
HB: HEY! *Snaps* Come back to reality buddy!
OBL: *Ignoring snaps* Oh I love you brownie bag I can�t wait to fill you up with brownies!
HB: HEY!! *Snaps more violently* Snap out of it buddy!
OBL: Whaaaa?
M: Did you happen to see where they dragged Hitler too?
OBL: In fact I did.
N: MY HITLER SENSE IS TINGLY WHAT COULD THIS MEAN!?
OBL: I don�t know� Something to do with Hitler?
N: *All shocked* Oh my�I see it all in my head! They dragged him off somewhere and he�s in a�a�barbers chair?
SH: *Gasps* They are going to shave his head and call him Suzie!
OBL: No *Shakes head* No *Gets down on his knees* Nooooo!
P: I�ll get out my Hitler tracking device! *Get out his Hitler tracking device* He�s� *Focuses on the tracking device* this way! *Points toward a big white object off in the distance*
M: We got to get Hitler before they shave his head�without his hair he is nothing!
OBL: Tell me about it�
N: AHEM! We need to find Hitler� Now lets go towards that other flickering light coming from over yonder. *Points over yonder*
*Every one walks up the hill and they see King Mitch once more with a group of gnomes poking Hitler with needles and making him suffer*
D: I thought he dun died. *Looks behind him* Hmm I guess not�*Shrugs* Oh well.
M: *Runs down the hill to the beach for Hitler. Screaming* Hitler! I�m coming don�t let them shave your head! *Stumbles and falls down the hill once at the base Mitch comes over and picks him up and sets him in a cage and locks it up*
KM: *Maniacally laugh* Who�s next? I know you�re out there! Come on down or watch from afar. Hitler will die tonight and then his little friend Mussolini or should I say Bentino!
M: NO! It�s Mussolini you jerk! To think I once thought we could be home dawgs!
KM: YOU LIE! Now shut your mouth Bentino and watch as your friend loses his hair and *Digs in Hitler�s pockets and take out his groove* and his groove! *For some odd reason drops it back into Hitler�s pocket. Whispers to Hitler* I�m not that evil�*Winks* But I�d like you to meet some of my friends! *Sings �Better Than You!�*
*Stalin, Little Jimmy and the Italian Chef approach out of the shadows*
H: *Is baffled* STALIN! I should have known you�d be behind something like this! And who are these people? Your evil minions?
LJ: No you�you�*Ponders* what am I looking for right now?
IC: Incompetent fool? Jerk? Bar mitzvah ruiner? Dumb German? Take your pick.
LJ: Oh, this is tough but! You incompetent fool! I had a little bar mitzvah and everything was going according to plan and you know what? Everyone left early cause of YOU! And you have ruined your last bar mitzvah so I have set up this little get together�sure you spoiled my other plan for you by not showing up to the Hitler �Bar Mitzvah��but now you shall pay! Pay the ultimate price!
H: That was from you? Aw if I only knew�I would have shown if I had known it was from you. BUT, some person *Looks at King Mitch* Kidnapped my friends and I had to save them.
LJ: Oh so you think we two are friends do you?
H: Well yeah. It�s obvious�why else would you have brought me here Tied me up and threatened to shave me bald?
LJ: To kill you! Did you not see all the killing stuff here? The creepy setting�my evil henchmen? Any of this clicking for you?
H: No not really�draw me a picture!
LJ: I�ll use fruits and veggie�s to show you. Ok here�s you *Picks up tomato*
H: That looks nothing like me�the hairs all wrong!
LJ: *Sighs* It�s not supposed to look like YOU! It�s�just shut your mouth! Here�s what we think of you. *Crushes the tomato*
H: I�m lost what�s with the tomato?
LJ: *Screams of badness* WE HATE YOU!
H: *Is shocked* You�you hate me? *Starts to cry*
LJ: And look I have brownies! I�m going to taunt you now! *Evil laugh*
H: Noooooo! Anything but tha- Did you say brownies? Can I have some?
LJ: NO! They are for taunting you dummy! Now get his hair cut Phil�
IC: Well lets get to shaving that hair of yours Suzie�
H: *Interrupting* But you�re a chef!
IC: I cut hair in my spare time�it�s a little hobby of mine.
H: Does it satisfy your soul?
IC: Why yes it does�
H: I�m happy for you.
IC: You should be.
H: Good cause I am.
IC: Alright then.
S: ENOUGH WITH THE SMALL TALK! Just cut his freaking hair you nitwit!
IC: Alright, alright keep your pants on.
S: I will now! You were so close to making me drop them� I�m warning you! You just do what your told to do. It�s not like you have a mind or spirit of your own! You�re just my mindless drone!
IC: Okay boss I shall cut his hair. *Leans in but the clippers are snatched from his hands by Gregory who is swinging by on a rope or a vine*
N: Ha ha no hair cutting for Hitler!
*Chuck, Timothy, Saddam, Dubya, and Osama come running down the hill to help*
OBL: *Runs up to King Mitch and pulls on his ears and runs around kicking him in the legs. And there�s hair pulling and more ear pulling* Had enough? *Backs him up to a wall*
SH: I�ll take the little kid! *Runs up to him and picks up Little Jimmy. Throws him over his shoulder and puts him up were King Mitch is* Take that buck-o!
D: I�ll go free Hitler! *Runs over to the chair and unhooks Hitler and they run to a safe place*
HB: I�ll get Mussolini out of that cage! *Goes and busts open the lock and runs Mussolini over to where Hitler is hiding out. Whispers* Stay here you two we are going to hurt the people! *Runs back*
*Both the Pirate and the Ninja say* We�ll get the Italian Chef! *They use their Pirate and Ninja powers to lure them into the corner. During this time Stalin managed to sneak off and get back to his house and then Chuck put Little Jimmy, Italian Chef, and King Mitch into the cage and made it look as if they locked it up but the didn�t lock it up then everyone goes to where Mussolini and Hitler are hiding and get them out*
M: Is it safe for us?
HB: It�s perfectly safe. They are all locked up and they can�t get out! Not that we know of�
H: Who�s up for a game of victorious beach Volley Ball!?
All: *Cheery* WE ARE!
*Cuts to the beach were a Volley Ball net it set up and �We are the champions� is playing and all the guys get crazy and play Volley Ball at half time they get into some conversations*
D: Hey Saddam and Osama did you guys see that white housed figure?
OBL SH: Yeah I saw it what do you think it is?
D: I think it�s the house that transported us here� My house. Hey how come Mussolini never told us his plan to get us back to the future? Oh well it doesn�t matter!
OBL: We shall check it out tomorrow and have some fun�but half time is over! I�m getting back in this game!
*They all play deep into the night and after hours of play they decide to go sit around the fire and chat. Hitler sets down his groove. Then the earth rumbles and Napoleons ghost shows up and steals his groove*
NPG: Oh a groove! It�ll go great with my collection!
H: *Turns in shock* Noooo! *Starts to get up but falls*
NPG: *Laughs evilly* It�s just like old times! I take a groove, some guy screams in shock or horror. It always brought a smile to my face. Now back to Cuba! Where I keep all the other grooves I�ve stolen from people. When I was still alive I used to collect grooves. But now I have restarted this hobby for the kids.
H: Yeah, yeah okay!
NPG: Okay, off to Cuba! *Flies away*
H: NOOO! Not my groove! Again! We should go home and plan to get it back again!
*They all leave and it goes to cuts to Mussolini�s house and them all going inside. Cuts back to the beach*
S: *Sneaks back and opens the cage. Whispers* There friends run free!�But why didn�t you just open the door�twasn�t locked. There was just a lock made out of sand in it.
IC: *All run free* We was bonding. And we thought it was locked! *Time passes*
KM: I�m going to get those jerks Osama, Saddam, and Dubya!
LJ: Mussolini and Hitler are going down!
IC: All the turtles are going to DIE!
*All look at the Italian Chef*
IC: Turtles are BAD!...BAD I SAY! And maybe I�ll kill some other guy they hang around�like that Chuck�Hm well off I go.
All: Well alright�*All leave*
And Scene