Scene: Glass Room and Poker Room
Characters: Dubya (D), Osama (OBL), Saddam (SH), Hitler (H), Stalin (S), and Hitler�s Gay Sailing Poker Buddy (HB)
*Saddam, Dubya, and Osama are still watching through the one sided glass window into the empty room*
D: It looks like a poker room� But why were we dragged here to a poker room? Those gnomes are so complex�and short. They are like little midget hippos. All hippo-y with the fatness and shortness they posses!
OBL: Your telling me. That�s creepy of them. They�re creepy! *Yells* HEAR ME GNOMES YOUR CREEPY!
D: *Whispers* And short!
OBL: AND SHORT!
SH: *Confused* Mini hippos? No their like midgets!
D: I said midget, but FINE! You win�just crush my dreams! You dream crusher! *Is sad*
SH: That hurts Dubya. I don�t mean to crush dreams�it just kind of happens. You know?
D: *Sniffle Sniffle* Mhm I understand. Group HUG! *All hug*
*Hitler, Stalin, and Hitler�s Gay sailing poker buddy (Chuck) all enter the room. Hitler gets up on the table and sings �Emotional Roller Coaster� and then sits back down*
OBL: It�s Hitler�WHOA! I adore Hitler. He�s so dreamy�look at that stash. He should be a runway model!
D: They sure love to sing�*Screams uncontrollably* YAY FOR SINGING!
H: Did you guys hear something?
S: No�did you?
H: Yes that�s why I asked. But I guess it was just the wind. But there�s no windows. *Dramatic music. Gets beady eyed* Suspicious!
D: Ah Ah Ah CHOO!
OBL: Quiet! I�ll beat you! *Raises his fist*
S: Did that mirror just sneeze? And the threaten to beat me?
H: No�your crazy�you�crazy�freak head!
S: Like a fox who has rabies! And has a gimpy leg. So he kind of hobbles�OH! He�s sick too!
H: Why would you want to be a fox infested with rabies? And who has a gimpy leg? AND influenza!
S: I think it would be fun! *Time passes*
H: *Slowly* Ok�I�m glad that you�re a sailor like you wanted to be Chuck� I wanted to be a tap dancer. But I couldn�t because I am a poor tap dancer�
HB: I�m also excited about our dreams coming true. Except yours�that didn�t come true. *All enthused* Now let�s play poker!
All: *Not all at once* YEAH! *They go to sit at the table*
HB: I�ve got cards *Pulls out his deck of cards* Are you ready for some POKER!?
*All shout at once �Yeah!�. And then Stalin and Hitler become very competitive. Hitler�s gay sailing poker buddy deals the cards*
S: Your going down Hitler! *Laughs manically* Cause I�ll push you to the floor!
H: No, your going down after I push you! �To the floor! *All serious* I�ll bet my groove and some other stuff *Happily* like this muffin! I found on the way over here. *Places his groove box with tassels and his muffin in the center on the table* Now lets play us some poker!
S: I�ll kill you and take your groove Ha Ha Ha *Evil Like*
H: Umm why would you kill me if you could just win it?
S: Cause! I�m grand.
H: That�s what you think!
S: No! Because I don�t think! Take that Hitler! TAKE THAT!
HB: *Screams* STOP! Can�t you see your constant fighting is tearing us apart! I can�t take it any more! *Starts to suck on his thumb and rock back and forth. The cards are mysteriously dealt*
S: Ha Ha! My cards are better than yours!
H: Wanna Bet?!
S: That�s what we�re doing! You dumb person, you!
*All place their cards down. Stalin wins*
S: Ha Ha Ha! I got your groove Hitler! Oh and this muffin *Eats the muffin. Sings �I�ve Got It Now� and then does a victory Jig*
H: *Saddened. In agony* NOOOO! MY GROOVE!
HB: Didn�t you see!? I was having a break down! Console me!
H: Hold on a second! Hey Stalin I declare a great world war! *Laughs maniacally*
S: *All serious* There was already a great world war.
H: Oh well then� I�ll start another! Cause I have the power! What should I call it?
S: Hmmm *Strokes chin* WWII?
H: No�Hitler�s War: Volume 1?
HB: NOOO! What about us!? Think of the children! And us! Please think of the children! AND US! But the children! The little children in particular. Cause they are so little and fragile. And a great world war could rob their mom�s and dad�s of jobs and life�s, and their tacos�*Spazzy* GOD I LOVE TACOS!
H: SO! *Heavy arg related sigh* I can�t take this from you any more! All the nagging and constant needing me to console you! It�s always console me this console me that. Well guess what I don�t need you!! Were through!
HB: *In agony* NOOOO! *After a time of tears and whimpering* Well fine, I�ll just die! *Crazily* You�d like that wouldn�t you! WOULDN�T YOU!? *Twitches*
H: Whatever floats your boat pal! Cause I don�t care about you! Not anymore. Your just a pathetic poker playing sailor wannabe! Who will never amount to anything!
HB: *Is shocked* I can�t believe you said that! Fine I�ll die. Goodbye Hitler. *Jumps out window and screams but it�s only one story*
S: What have you done? *Concerned* Incompetent fool!
H: YOU SHUT UP! YOU�RE THE FOOL, YOU *Thinks* Uhh you�FOOL!
S: Never! *Shakes fist angrily and shouts some more* I�m leaving to go conquer the world! *Starts to leave*
H: But it�s my war!
S: Not anymore!
H: *Is saddened* But�
S: No Buts! I must go conquer! *Leaves*
H: Not before I do! *Stomps out of the room*
HB: *Climbs back into the room through the window. Yells in a searching fashion* Hitler?�Hitler? Where are you? I know that I was being a little �clingy� earlier but I am sorry. Are you hiding from me?
D: *Cough* Opps he probably herd that�
SH: Shh now he defiantly heard you!
OBL: *Shouts* Will you two be quiet! *Whispers* Crap I yelled!
HB: What�s going on back there, behind that glass?
D: *Yells* Oh nothing-
SH: *Interrupts* Will you stop talking! *Hits him*
D: Ow *Hits Saddam back* Don�t hit me I�m trying to help!
HB: Just tell me where Hitler went talking�glass�
OBL: We aren�t sure�but he left, that�s for sure, so go search for him!
HB: *Heroically* I must search for you Hitler! *Leaves to search*
*Osama Bin Laden, Dubya, and Saddam Hussein have watched in horror and gave Hitler�s gay sailing poker buddy some help*
D: Poor Hitler�.*Sad for Hitler*
SH: Poor Hitler!? Poor HITLER!? Poor US! We are stuck here, in the past!
OBL: *All mellow* Relax! I�ve got brownies! *Happy and what not* They are so good you will forget your troubles�and live in some kind of dream world. Like me!
D: Brownies don�t solve every problem!
OBL: *Saddened* Well no need to be a jerk about it!
D: I�m sorry that was uncalled for. I feel bad�forgive me?
OBL: Sure, I can�t stay mad at you, look at that face! *Pinches it all grandma or aunt styled* All is forgiven! Alrighty lets get out of here.
D and SH: OK!
D: I�m hungry lets get some Italian food! And popcorn!
OBL: OK! We all love Italian food it�s so grand and good. Certain people disagree, but not us!
D: I like Italian food too, it�s so tasty! Just like popcorn!
SH: WAIT! Before we go we best check and make sure that that fellow aint around here waiting for us. *Checks to see if he�s there* Nope he isn�t lets go�*Leave glass room to go to an Italian Restaurant*
*Cuts back to the glass room and Mitch enters*
KM: I�ve got foot massaging stuff. And- *Drops it all in horror* They�re not here�is there a note? *Searches around in a panic* No there is no note�I just wanted to be their friends�*Drops to the floor. On his knees. Cries. In agony* Why!?
And Scene