Scene: Mussolini�s House, Alley way, Restaurant, Flower Shop and, A Limo
Characters: Hitler (H), Mussolini (M), Dubya (D), Osama Hippie Squirrel (OHS), Saddam Hippie Squirrel (SHS), Stalin (S), Eva (E), And Hitler�s Buddy (HB)
*Hitler takes in a big morning yawn and stretches as he takes in his first morning breath. He gets up and wakes Mussolini*
H: Good morning ole chap! Shall we wake the others or go and do other stuff?
M: I say we wake the others�they are the only ones who know how to make breakfast.
H: *Looks dumbfounded* How is that!? I know how to make breakfast!�Oh well let�s wake them.
M: Righty-o ole chap.
*Both walk into the guest room and wake Osama, Saddam, and Dubya*
H: Wakey, wakey! Time to make us breakfast Dubya!
D: Five more minutes momma I don�t want to make the bacon!
M: NOW DUBYA! We don�t have all morning, wait *Ponders* we do�BUT STILL, get up.
D: Alright. *Said like the wrestling announcer* Now who wants some breakfast.
OHS: *Hops around excitedly* I do! I do!
SHS: *Does some hopping also* ME TOO!
D: OKAY! *Goes to the microwave room*
*Both run into the kitchen and get ready for a grand day*
H: I�ll set the table, because that�s all I can do. Except admit I am gay in front of Eva and lose her forever! *Cries*
M: *Pats Hitler on his back* There, there Hitler�it�ll be ok. Lets just go enjoy another of Dubya�s fine breakfasts!
H: *Sniffles* Alright. *Sniffles some more*
M: HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Dubya can�t make breakfast he can only make popcorn! How silly are WE!?
H: Quite silly! But mainly your silly, cause I said I knew how to.
M: Oh yeah, I am.
*Mussolini runs to the microwave room all saving the day style*
D: *Laughing evilly* YOU CAN�T STOP ME NOW! I�m unstoppable! You�re all pathetic, weak, and stupid! DIE MORTALS, DIE!
M: *Unplugs the microwave* I think you can go sit in the corner! NOW!
D: *Is saddened* Alright *Walks to the corner all saddened. Mumbles* Stupid Mussolini. Oh look I�m Mussolini I�m so great. I�ll show him *Looks evil as if he was thinking of something*
H: Hey I can make breakfast!
M: Yes you can, now go Hitler. GO! And make us a great breakfast! *Time passes and Hitler just sits there* Or I will beat you *Shakes his fist*
H: *Frightened* Okay, okay I�ll make it! *Runs into the kitchen and makes bacon and eggs for all and then serves them* Here you are Osama, Saddam, Mussolini, and Dubya. What do you all say?
All: Thank you, Hitler
H: Yeah! Don�t make me hit you all with my tap dancing cane! Do you want me to go get it? Cause I will and you will feel my wrath! *Demonstrates his wrath*
*All are frightened*
M: NO! We learned our lesson Hitler.
H: At least you learned your lesson, didn�t you. *Holds up his cane*
OHS: We said we did! Sheesh!
D: This means I learned two lessons today, never try and make popcorn for breakfast and always say thank you, or else�
H: YAY! Group hug.
*All come together and hug in a group fashion*
SHS: That was some fun, wow you guys are the best-est ever in the whole world!
*All blush and say (Not all at once) �Oh you, you�re the bestest ever too�. Mean while in Stalin�s� Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness. Stalin makes up a concoction of �Forget me� dust*
S: Ha Ha Ha! I�m so evil! I�m going to enslave the world and there is nothing you can do to stop- *Interrupting ding* Oh yay my muffins are done! *Takes out his muffins and eats some* Oh theses are scrumptious! *Eats some more* Well any way, no one can stop me from my evil pl- *Ding* YAY! My pie is done. *Eats some* Oh yay it�s Blueberry! *Clears throat* No one can stop me from my evil pla- *Ding* Darn you food! Hey it�s banana bread! *Eats some* No one can stop my evil plan�*Laughs evilly* Now to finish my �forget Me� dust concoction! *Laughs evilly. Cuts to Hitler*
H: Lets take those plans you had and bring them to life Mussolini!
M: Okay, but first I must go ALONE to get the �Forget Me� dust from an old college buddy.
D: *Curious* Why alone?
M: He hates everyone but me.
D: Ohh well I could always try and be his friend.
M: No it wont work. He hates you, already. Well TA!
*Mussolini leaves every one at his house*
H: I�m going to go out and set plans for everything that Eva and me did on our last date�before the INCIDENT. *Dramatic Music* And I�ll get some fun stuff too�
OHS: Yay! Fun stuff! May I go too?
SHS: Oh, OH ME TOO?
H: Fine, but I�m not getting you two anything, you understand?
OSH: Yes we understand, But�
H: *Interrupting* NO BUTS! *Twitch* And that�s final!
OHS: Okay, what if I win the lottery and I will get lots of money. Will I get stuff then?
H: No, cause your un-lucky!
SHS: Why must you be so mean Hitler? HUH!? HUH!?
H: It slipped I didn�t mean it. But you did sign a legal bonding document that says you will give all your lottery money to me!
OHS: No I didn�t!
H: Will you sign this paper?
OHS: Oh sure I will! *Signs* What tis� this anyway?
H: HA HA HA! You signed the legal bonding document!
*There is much tension is the room. Then they leave for the places that Hitler needs to go to and they all walk past Dubya*
SHS: Bye Dubya!
*Dubya isn�t listening*
SHS: FINE!
*They all leave*
H: First stop is at that one restaurant to make reservations! *Hitler leaves Osama and Saddam out side tied to a tree and then walks in and makes reservations. Then he walks out* There! They have been made! *Unties them both*
OHS: I saw an old man walking by! *Jumps up and down with glee* It was exciting.
H: Good for you! Now down too the flower shop, hey look the Italian restaurant how neat it�s just were it should be. Now I will go and get those flowers for Eva and some chewing gum and breath mints. I�m going to tie you up again. *Ties them up and walks into the flower shop*
H: Any ways I think I�ve done everything I need to do, so lets head on back to Mussolini�s. He�s probably worried sick!
SHS: YAY! Cause you�re a big meany and a huge punk!
H: I�m hurt, very, very hurt *Whimpers*
SHS: I am sorry, it�s just that being tied up like a dog isn�t my type of fun! *Is angered*
H: FINE! Just leave me alone you big fat bad man!
SHS: I�m not fat or a bad man, you are! I�m leaving. *Starts to walk away but is caught* UNLEASH ME!
H: FINE! *Unleashes Saddam* Happy?
SHS: Yes, now I am leaving you forever. I don�t care if I am a squirrel for the rest of my life! As long as you�re not near me I�ll be good! *Runs away into the obis*
OHS: What have you done, you ignorant fool! Now we will never see him again, you know Hippie Squirrels have no sense of direction, lets go find him. *Time passes* NOW!
H: ARG *Sighs and says in an agitated way* FINE! Come on lets go�
OSH: *Yells in searching for Saddam* Saddam where are you? Come back! Hitler is very sorry!
H: Yes I am very sorry, I want you back as my friend!
SHS: HELP! I�m lost!
H: No you�re not your right next to me silly!
SHS: I like the attention�
H: Yes well let�s get back to Mussolini�s I bet he�s back and still worried sick!
*All walk out of the obis and back to Mussolini�s house*
H: *Shouts* Mussolini? Are you home yet?
D: No he�s not yet! But I see you are! Where have you been? Huh you never even told me you were leaving you just got up and left me all alone! I was talking to my self for over and hour and I was worried sick! I thought you were kidnapped or you locked your self, Osama, and Saddam in a closet again.
H: I�m sorry I thought you knew, I mean we walked right past you as we left.
SHS: I even said bye to you too!
D: *Feels silly* Well I forgive I guess� But you can�t make up for the time I lost �chatting with you�
H: I guess not, let me console you. *Consoles Dubya* Wait�why didn�t you check the closet for us if you were so worried?
M: I was making collages�want to see!?
*All nod with excitement*
D: Check it! *Shows them*
H: Why�it�s beautiful.
*Cuts to Mussolini going into a dark alley way and goes to a door*
M: Hey ole buddy!
S: Well hey!
M: So, the weathers nice.
S: Yeah, been very mild this season. Well, here it is! *Hands over the �Forget Me� dust*
M: Thanks! Ta!
S: Ta, ole friend, ta.
*Mussolini doesn�t know it�s Stalin, and Stalin doesn�t know it�s Mussolini either. Then Mussolini goes back to his house*
M: Hey every one I am back from my adventure to the alleyway!
H: YAY! Lets go out and fix all this Eva disliking me!
M: Okay lets go out, did you get everything for the big night out on the town?
H: Yes I did! I�ll go get them! *Runs and gets his flowers, breath mints, and chewing gum. He then suits up and gels his comb over. To himself in the mirror* I look spiffy. *Snappy finger thing*
*Both run out to the limo and then get in it*
H: There�s her house, I wonder what she�s doing in there right now?
*Flashes into Eva�s house and she is signing �Angry, Angry Eva� in her shower. Cuts back to Hitler*
H: *Walks up to Eva�s door and rings her doorbell. Sighs* Here goes nothing! Or everything! *He prepares his �Forget Me� dust. Hums the hungry, hungry hippo song*
E: *Answers the door and as soon as she does Hitler blows the �Forget Me� dust in her face. Eva coughs* Oh hey Adolph. *Notices that she isn�t ready* Oh my word I�m not ready for our date! I�ll be right back, please come in!
H: *Goes in, whispers* It worked!
E: HUH?
H: Oh nothing! You look beautiful Eva, lets just go out. I have a great night planned!
E: Alright, but should I at least put on some clothes, I�m in a towel.
H: *Chuckles* Yes I guess you should.
*Eva walks into her room and gets dressed up, Hitler puts three breath mints in his mouth and Eva then walks out and they leave*
H: I hired a stretch Limo for us. I hope you like flowers, cause I got you some. *Hands Eva flowers*
E: Oh they are so pretty! I love them.
H: I thought you would. *Pauses* You look ravishing this evening, Eva.
E: WHOA HITLER! Let�s take it slow I don�t want it to be like some crazy fastness, you know?
H: *Blushes* Oh I�m sorry well lets get on with our date. *Is slightly angered. Mumbles* Dumb Eva not being fast and what not
E: Huh Adolph?
H: Oh Nothing. *Mumbles more*
*Both walk into the car*
*We hear a car breaking down only ten minutes into the ride (which is their limo)*
H: Oh no! This isn�t good *Starts to tear*
E: Hitler, Hitler it�s ok! It�s only one set back it�s not like your dinner reservation are going to be bad, or that the board walk is going to be too crowded, and it�s not like your admitting something very secret�like say your gay. See how much worse it could be?
H: *Gets nervous and thinks to himself. �She probably just described our whole night, I must stop this horrible vision from coming true. I must lie to her!�. Says out loud* It could be worse Eva your right! *Thinks that he is thinking it to himself* Phew that was a close one!
E: Huh? What was that you said Hitler?
H: Oh nothing, hey look we are moving again. HAZZAH!
E: *Looks puzzled* Hitler your so quirky�But kind of in a scary way though.
H: *Angered* Oh I�m sorry Eva! I�m sorry my standards aren�t as high as yours! Jeez, I thought we were having a great time and then WHAM you hit me with this stuff. Well guess what! You aint all that great your self-missy! God, I can�t take this your always like oh I don�t like taking it fast so lets just stop with the fastness. WHAT IS THAT!? It�s not even a word! You should just stop judging me you fat jerk-o! DIE! Just die! Well, you know what! I am gay too! Okay? I don�t need this constant pressure to be strait from you! Okay? So we are through you can rot in a place where things rot! *Yells* Stop the car *Car stops and Hitler stomps out all ticked off and upset*
E: *Dumbfounded and upset she starts to cry but then stops* Did he say he was gay? Ewww *Starts to gag*
H: *Mumbles to himself as he walks home* Stupid Eva always judging me! *Does this till he walks up to Mussolini�s house. He gets up to the door opens it up and is greeted by every one*
M: How was the date Hitler?
H: *Cries and runs over to Mussolini* Hold me! *Mussolini holds him.* It was horrible! She made mean comments and said I was scary. So, naturally I lashed out and admitted I was gay to her. *Cries into Mussolini�s shoulder*
M: *Pats his back* There, there, she was no good anyway. Sit here I�ll go make you some coco. You want some coco?
H: *Sniffle* Mhm, I do. Thanks Mussolini.
M: No thanks needed, I�d do it for any of my friends going through a rough time in their life!
*A thunderstorm starts up and the door is busted open by Stalin*
S: That�s right just like me! *Dramatic music and thunder cracks and lighting strikes*
H: *Girlishly* AHHHH!
S: He helped me with finical troubles! I was making a concoction of �Forget Me� dust and I didn�t know who it was at first, but I check some video camera footage�
D: *Interrupts* Why are you recording things like that?
S: I was suspecting that a odd ho-bo was stealing my light bulbs that are in my lamp out side my door!
D: And? Was he?
S: Yes, he was�
M: That�s beside the point!
S: Is it? Is it really?
M: Yes! Get on with it! *All sit there silently* The STORY!
S: Oh right any ways. I check the footage and I saw Mussolini and he�s helping me out. Now I can make a big weapon of mass destruction! Thanks Mussolini! *Laughs evilly*
H: No! NOOO!! Mussolini!? How could you!?
M: But, I didn�t know!
H: *Hitler starts to cry and runs to the guest room where he sees Chuck, his gay sailing poker buddy, playing poker with Saddam and Osama* CHUCK!? What are you doing here? I thought you died when you jumped out of the window, back when I lost my groove!
HB: *Is singing �Hitler�s Gay Sailing Poker Buddy� to Osama and Saddam then finishes and sees Hitler* It was only one story Hitler. After I jumped I followed you and found you were here, and I met these two nice fella�s. They wanted to play poker as much as I did so we played! I�I still love you Hitler!
H: *Is shocked and happy* You followed me!? Your so nice, and I�m sorry for the mean-ness I happened to bestow upon you.
HB: It�s ok I forgive! Now play some poker with us!
H: Okay! I love poker!
HB: *Starts to sing* If I was invisible I would just watch you in the showa!
H: Okay�lets just play poker.
*Back in the living room*
M: LEAVE! You have caused enough troubles!
S: *Evil like* Ha Ha Ha! I think I have! But I like to cause more so, I think I�ll punch Dubya. *Pushes Dubya*
D: *Dubya falls backwards over a chair* OWW! You jerk! *Cries*
M: GET OUT NOW! *Punches Stalin*
S: Ow!! I�ve got a bloody nose. YOU JERK! *Runs out*
M: Are you okay Dubya? *Helps Dubya up*
D: Yes, but now we must get Hitler�s groove. Cause this time it�s personal! For me anyway�
*They both hear Hitler having some fun, and run in to see what it is*
M: Hitler are you mad at me? I punched Stalin cause he pushed Dubya and because of what he�s done to you.
H: No I�m not mad at you, I was just upset. I know you didn�t do it on purpose!
M: I would never do that to you you�re my best friend.
H: *Tears of joy* You are?
M: You bet your sweet bippy!
*Every one joins in on the poker and played deep into the night. After that they told stories of things that made no since like a pig marrying a crazed baboon*
OHS: *Yawn* Hmm it�s getting late lets all go to Sleep.
All: OKAY!
OHS: Good Night Dubya, Mussolini, Saddam, Hitler, and Chuck
SHS: Good Night Osama, Dubya, Mussolini, Hitler, and Chuck
H: Good Night Saddam, Osama, Dubya, Mussolini, and Chuck
M: Good Night Hitler, Saddam Osama, Dubya, Mussolini, and Chuck
D: Good Night Mussolini, Hitler, Saddam, Osama, and Chuck
HB: Good Night Dubya, Mussolini, Hitler, Saddam, and Osama
*And they all have a fun time going to sleep*
And Scene