ALTERNATE VERSION!
Scene: Mussolini�s House, Alley way, Restaurant, Flower Shop and, A Limo
Characters: Dubya (D), Osama Bin Laden (OBL), Saddam Hussein (SH), Hitler (H), Mussolini (M), Eva (E), Stalin (S), And Hitler�s Buddy (HB)
*Hitler takes in a big morning yawn and stretches as he takes in his first morning breath, He gets up and wakes Mussolini*
H: Good morning ole chap! Shall we wake the others or go and do other stuff?
M: I say we wake the others�they are the only ones who know how to make breakfast.
H: *looks dumbfounded* How is that!?�Oh well lets wake them.
M: Righty-o Ole Chap.
*Both walk into the guest room and wake Osama, Saddam, and Dubya*
H: Wakey Wakey!!!! Time to make us breakfast Dubya!
D: Five more minutes Momma I don�t want to make the bacon!
M: NOW DUBYA! We don�t have all morning, Wait we do�BUT STILL, get up.
D: Alright, *said like the wrestling announcer* Now who wants some breakfast
OBL: YOU KNOW I DO!!!!!!
SH: ME TOO!!
*Both run into the kitchen and get ready for a grand day*
H: I�ll set the table, Because that�s all I can do. Except admit I am gay in front of Eva and loose her forever!!! *cries*
M: *Pats Hitler on his back* There, There Hitler�It�ll be ok. Lets just go enjoy another of Dubya�s fine breakfasts!
H: *sniffles* Alright *Sniffle, Sniffle*
M: HEY!!! Dubya can�t make breakfast he can only make Popcorn!
D: *Evilly Laughing* YOU CAN�T STOP ME NOW! I�m unstoppable! Your all pathetic, weak and stupid! DIE!!
M: *Unplugs the microwave* I think you can go sit in the corner! NOW!
D: *is saddened* Alright *walks over there all shlumpally dragging his feet and is ashamed and sad, Mumbles* Stupid Dubya. Oh look I�m Dubya I�m so great. I�ll show him *looks evil*
H: Hey I can make breakfast!!!!
M: Yes you can, Now go Hitler GO! And make us a great breakfast, *Pauses and Hitler just sits there* or I will beat you *shakes his fist*
H: *Frightened* Okay, Okay I�ll make it! *Runs into the kitchen and makes bacon and eggs for all* Here you are Osama, Saddam, Mussolini, and Dubya What do you all say?
All: Thank You!
H: That�s more like it!! Don�t make me hit you all with my tap dancing cane! Do you want me to go get it? Cause I will and you will feel my wrath!!! *Demonstrates his wrath*
All: *Frightened*
M: NO! Were will learned our lesson Hitler.
H: At least you learned your lesson, Didn�t you* Holds up his cane*
OBL: We did!! *In Agony* Just don�t hurt us!
D: I learned two lessons today, never try and make popcorn for breakfast and always say thank you, or else�
H: YAY! Group hug.
*all come together and hug in a group fashion*
SH: That was some fun, wow you guys are the best-est ever in the whole world!
*all blush and say not all at once* �Oh you, you�re the bestest ever too�
*Mean while in Stalin�s� Sinister Tomb of Dark Madness, Stalin makes up a concoction of �Forget me� dust*
S: Ha Ha Ha! I�m so Evil! I�m going to enslave the world and there is nothing you can do to stop�*Interrupting Ding* Oh yay my muffins are done! *Takes out his muffins and eats some* Oh theses are scrumptious! *Eats until it goes back to Hitler and friends*
H: Lets take those plans you had and bring them to life Mussolini!!!
M: Okay, But first I must go ALONE to get the �Forget Me� Dust from an old College buddy.
D: *Curious* Why alone?
M: He hates everyone but me
D: Ohh
*Mussolini leaves every one at his house*
H: I�m going to go out and set plans for everything that me and Eva did on our last date�before the INCIDENT. *Dramatic Music* And I�ll get some fun stuff too�
OBL: Yay! Fun stuff can I go too?
SH: Oh, OH ME TOO??
H: Fine, But I�m not getting you two anything, You understand?
Both: Yes we understand, But�
H: *interestingly* NO BUTS! *Twitch* And that�s final!
OBL: Okay, What if I win the lottery and I will get lots of money. Will I get stuff then?
H: No, Cause your un-lucky!
SH: Why must you be so mean Hitler HUH!? HUH!?
H: It Slipped I didn�t mean it, but if you do will you signed a legal bonding document that says you will give all your lottery money to me!
OBL: No I didn�t!
H: Will you sign the paper?
OBL: Oh sure I will *Signs* What tis� this anyway?
H: HA HA HA! You signed the legal bonding document!
*There is much tension is the room, then they leave for the places that Hitler needs to go to and they all walked past Dubya*
SH: Bye Dubya
*Dubya isn�t listening*
H: First stop is at that one restaurant to make reservations! *Hitler leaves Osama and Saddam out side tied to a tree and then walks in and makes reservations, then he walks out* There! They have been made! *Unties them both*
OBL: I saw an old man walking by and I barked at him! *Jumps up and down with glee*
H: Good for you! Now down too the Flower Shop, Hey look the Italian Restaurant how neat it�s just were it should be. Now I will go and get those flowers for Eva and some chewing gum and breath mints, I�m going to tie you up again *Ties them up and walks into the Flower Shop*
OBL: BARK, BARK, BARK *Gets on all fours and goes and bites the mailman*
H: *Shrugs, goes in and gets all he needs then comes back out and laughs at Osama chasing the mail man* *chuckles* Oh Osama your so eventful!
OBL: Yes I know, I am always some good fun!
H: Any ways I think I�ve done everything I need to do, so lets head on back to Mussolini�s. He�s probably worried sick.
SH: YAY! Cause you�re a big meany and a huge punk!
H: I�m hurt, very, very hurt *whimpers*
SH: I am very sorry, it�s just that being tied up like a dog isn�t my type of fun! *is angered*
H: FINE!!!! Just leave me alone you big fat bad man!
SH: I�m not fat or a bad man, you are! I�m leaving. UNLEASH ME!
H: FINE! *Unleashes Saddam* Happy?
SH: Yes, Now I am leaving you for the rest of my life! As long as your not near me I�ll be good! *Runs away into the Obis*
OBL: What have you done, you ignorant fool! Now we will never see him again, You know Saddam has no sense of direction, Lets go find him NOW!
H: ARG *sighs and says in an agitated way* FINE! Come on lets go�
OBL: *yells in searching for Saddam* Saddam where are you!?!? Come Back Hitler is very sorry!
H: Yes I am very sorry, I want you back as my friend!!!
SH: HELP! I�m lost!
H: No your not your right next to me silly!
SH: I like the attention�
H: Yes well lets get back to Mussolini�s I bet he�s back and still worried sick!
*All walk out of the Obis and back to Mussolini�s house*
H: *Shouts* Mussolini? Are you home yet?
D: No he�s not yet! But I see you are! Where have you been? Huh you never even told me you were leaving you just got up and left me all alone! I was talking to my self for over and hour and I was worried sick I thought you were kidnapped or you locked your self and Osama and Saddam in a closet again.
H: I�m sorry I thought you knew, I mean we walked right past you as we left.
SH: I even said bye to you too!
D: *Feels silly* Well I forgive I guess�But you can�t make up for the time I lost �chatting with you�
H: I guess not, Let me console you *Consoles Dubya*
*Cuts to Mussolini going into a dark alley way and goes to a door and he asks for his �Forget Me� dust and he gets it and pays the man And he doesn�t know it�s Stalin, And Stalin doesn�t know it�s Mussolini either. Then he goes back to his house.*
M: Hey every one I am back from my adventure to the alley way!
H: YAY! Lets go out and fix all this Eva Disliking me!
M: Okay lets go out, Did you get everything for the big night out?
H: Yes I Did!!! I�ll go get them! *runs and gets his flowers, breath mints, chewing gum, suits up and gels his comb over, to himself* I look spiffy
*Both run out to his car and then get in it*
H: There�s her house, I wonder what she�s doing in there right now?
*Flashes into Eva�s house and she is signing Angry, Angry Eva in her shower*
H: *Walks up to Eva�s door and rings her door bell* *Sighs* Here goes nothing! *He prepares his �Forget Me� dust hums the hungry hungry hippo song*
E: *Answers the door and as soon as she does Hitler blows the �Forget Me� dust in her face, cough* Oh hey Adolph, *notices that she isn�t ready* Oh my word I�m not ready for our date! I�ll be right back, Please come in!
H: *goes in* But you look beautiful anyways Eva, Lets just go out I have a great night planned!
E: Alright, But should I at least put on some clothes, I�m in a towel.
H: *Chuckles* Yes you should
*Eva walks into her room and gets dressed up, Hitler puts three breath mints in his mouth and Eva then walks out and they leave*
H: I hired a stretch Limo for us. I hope you like Flowers I got you some. *hands Eva flowers*
E: Oh they are so pretty! I love them.
H: I thought you would, You look ravishing this evening, Eva.
E: WHOA HITLER! Let�s take it slow I don�t want it to be like some crazy fastness, you know?
H: *Blushes* Oh I�m sorry well lets get on with our date. *Is slightly angered, mumbles* Dumb Eva not being fast and what not
E: Huh Adolph?
H: Oh Nothing
*Both walk into the car*
*We hear a car breaking down only ten minutes into the ride (which is their limo)*
H: Oh no! This isn�t good *starts to tear*
E: Hitler, Hitler it�s ok! It�s only one set back it�s not like your dinner reservation is going to be bad, or that the board walk is going to be too crowded, And it�s not like your admitting something very secret�like say your gay. See how much worse it could be?
H: *gets nervous and thinks to himself* She probably just described our whole night, I must stop this horrible vision from coming true. I must lie to her! *says out loud* It could be worse Eva your right! *thinks that he is thinking it�s to himself* Phew that was a close one!
E: Huh? What was that you said Hitler?
H: Oh nothing, Hey look we are moving again. HAZZAH!
E: *Looks puzzled* Hitler your so quirky�But kind of in a scary way though.
H: Oh I�m sorry Eva! I�m sorry my standards aren�t as high as yours! Jeez, I thought we were having a great time and then WHAM you hit me with this stuff well guess what you aint all that great your self missy! God I can�t take this your always like oh I don�t like taking it fast so lets just stop with the fastness. WHAT IS THAT!? It�s not even a word. You should just stop judging me you fat jerk-o! DIE DIE DIE! Well Guess what I am gay okay! I don�t need this constant pressure to be strait from you! Okay? So we are through you can rot in a place where things rot!! *Yells* stop the car *car stops and Hitler stomps out all ticked off and upset*
E: *Dumbfounded and upset she starts to cry but then stops* Did he say he was gay? Ewww *Starts to gag*
H: *Mumbles to himself as he walks home* Stupid Eva always judging me! *does this till he walks up to Mussolini�s house, he gets up to the door opens it up and is greeted by every one*
M: How was the date Hitler?
H: *cries and runs over to Mussolini* Hold me! *Mussolini holds him* It was horrible she made mean comments and said I was scary so I lashed out and admitted me being gay *cries into Mussolini�s shoulder*
M: *pats his back* There There, She was no good anyway. Sit here I�ll go make you some coca. You want some coca?
H: *Sniffle* mhm, I do. Thanks Mussolini.
M: No thanks needed, I�d do it for any of my friends going through a rough time in their life!
*A Thunderstorm starts up, And the door is busted open by Stalin*
S: That�s right just like me! *Dramatic music and Thunder Cracks and lighting strikes*
H: *girlishly* AHHHH!!!!
S: He helped me with finical troubles! I was making a concoction of �Forget Me� dust and I didn�t know who it was at first but I check some video camera footage�
D: *interrupts* Why are you recording things like that?
S: I was suspecting that a odd ho-bo was stealing my light bulbs that are in my lamp out side my door!
D: And? Was he?
S: Yes, He was�
M: That�s beside the point!!!
S: Is it? Is it really?
M: yes! Get on with it!
S: Oh right Any ways. I check the footage and I saw Mussolini and he�s helping me out now I can make a big weapon of mass destruction!!!! Thanks Mussolini!! *laughs evilly*
H: No! NOOO!!!!! Mussolini!? How could you!!??
M: But I didn�t know!!!
H: *cries and runs to the guest room where he finds Osama and Saddam playing poker with his old chum Chuck the sailing poker buddy he had* CHUCK!? What are you doing here? I thought you died when you jumped out of the window back when I lost my groove!
HB: It was only one story Hitler. After I jumped I followed you and found you were here, and I met these two nice fella�s and they wanted to play poker as much as I did so we played! I�I still love you Hitler!
H: *Is shocked and happy* You followed me!? You so nice, I�m sorry for the mean-ness I happened to bestow upon you.
HB: It�s ok I forgive! Now Play Some Poker!
H: Okay!!! I love poker
*Back in the living room*
M: LEAVE! You have caused enough troubles!!!
S: *Evil like* Ha Ha Ha I think I have! But I like to cause more so I think I�ll punch Dubya. *Pushes Dubya*
D: *Dubya falls backwards over a chair* OWW! JERK! *cries*
M: GET OUT NOW! *Punches Stalin*
S: Ow!! I�ve got a bloody nose. YOU JERK! *Runs out*
M: Are you okay Dubya? *Helps Dubya up*
D: Yes, But now we must get Hitler�s groove. Cause this time It�s personal for me anyway�
*They Both hear Hitler having some fun, and run in to see what It is*
M: Hitler are you mad at me? I Punched Stalin cause he pushed Dubya and because of what he�s done to you.
H: No I�m not made at you, I was just upset I know you didn�t do it on purpose!
M: I would never do that to you you�re my best friend.
H: *Tears of joy* You do?
M: You bet your bippy!
*Every one joins in on the poker and played deep into the night, and after that they told stories of things that made no since like a pig marrying a crazed baboon*
OBL: *Yawn* Hmm it�s getting late lets all go to Sleep.
All: OKAY!!!
OBL: Good Night Dubya, Mussolini, Saddam, Hitler and, Chuck
SH: Good Night Osama, Dubya, Mussolini, Hitler and, Chuck
H: Good Night Saddam, Osama, Dubya, Mussolini and, Chuck
M: Good Night Hitler, Saddam Osama, Dubya, Mussolini and, Chuck
D: Good Night Mussolini, Hitler, Saddam, Osama and, Chuck
HB: Good Night Dubya, Mussolini, Hitler, Saddam, and Osama
*And they all had a fun time going to sleep*
And Scene