"ATTACK OF THE MAYAN MUMMY"

MIKE NELSON:  "You know what I'm going to do when I get back to Earth?"
CROW:  "Visit family, friends?"
MIKE NELSON:  "No, hunt down Jerry Warren."

 When you enter into the pantheon of watching B-Movies, you start to realize that's it not always just failed efforts by otherwise talented people.  In fact, more of the unique 'efforts' are more a total body of work by a certain director/actor.  The names are endless:  Paul Naschy and his werewolf flicks, Mario Bava and his excellent tastes of visuals, Larry Buchanan and his off-the-wall antics and money-saving techniques, Edward Wood, Jr. and his lack of continuity......but, this all sets you up for a fall.  Out of these certain men, they at least have some talents, intentionally humorous or not.

But when you come to the horror and death that is Jerry Warren, that is when you see what everyone eventually sees:  the pure BADNESS of the cinema.  Witness the Mystery Science Theater episode quoted above to glimpse the HORROR and pointlessness of Jerry Warren's works.  Fear it.  LOATHE IT.  Run away screaming from this man.  But, mostly, don't EVER EVER EVER try to make sense of it.

Anyway, to Exhibit A...er...I mean, the movie on our platter today.

"The Aztec Mummy" is the first of a trilogy of horror films from that feature a mummy who keeps guard over a precious, ornamental breastplate.  Throughout the three stories, an enemy known as The Bat uses various methods to obtain this breastplate, foiled each time and meeting his end in the final chapter of this series, "The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy."

Yes, I know.....two MST3K references in three paragraphs.  NOW we're truly out of Doctor Who-Land and deep into the big muddy known as B-Cinema.

Anyway, from this installment,  we are introduced to the Aztec Mummy via the Hero's (I don't remember his name, but I believe he does have one in "Curse of the Aztec Mummy" and "Robot vs.") girlfriend, who is regressed back in time to when she was an Aztec Princess who witnessed the creation of the Mummy himself and his eternal protection throughout time of the breastplate.  And, in the typical fashion of a 1930's Universal thriller, everything is solved, the Bat defeated, and the Mummy goes back to get some rest before he awakes again for "Curse of the Aztec Mummy."

So what does this have to do with Jerry Warren and "Attack of the MAYAN Mummy?"  Simple.

Way back in the late 1950s and 1960s, the Drive-In circuit was getting big.  But more material was needed.  Hence, B-grade films (not as highly financed as their counterparts) were created to make the B-side of the main feature (and hence, films like "Monster-A-Go-Go" were created.  The third MST3K reference!).  So, many filmmakers of the likes of Sandy Frank (four MST3K references--he dubbed the "Gamera" series as well as "Time of the Apes," "Mighty Jack," etc.) just redubbed these efforts, added a neat name, and threw them out in the circuit to fetch a profit.  Of course, they rarely if ever paid the people who actually made the film and that extra money when into their pockets.

For the "Aztec Mummy" series, a Florida Businessman named K. Gordon Murray took the latter two films of the series, along with various other ones and dubbed them straight from the dialogue which created some amusing exchanges.  But, at least he was exact.  If he edited, it was strictly to take any sexual or risqué material out.   All and all, a good guy.  But, others like Jerry Warren went TOO FAR, buying the films, THEN cutting out all the 'talking' portions of the film out, then replacing them with talking American men who AREN'T EVEN INVOLVED IN THE STORY to narrate the events in the film, sometimes over the footage itself (!!), sort of like "The Creeping Terror." (Fifth MST3K reference!)   Hence, it goes somewhat like this:

HARRY:  You know, Burt, the Mummy wasn't happy with strangers in his pyramid. (cut to footage of the pyramid, people inside getting scared).  They were scared, as you see, so they ran.  The Mummy chased them.

BURT:  (nods)  Ah!

Yep.  So, instead of dubbing (which would cost less and be easier), Jerry edited them into submission and made it his own flick, which has no real plot.  Hence, "The Aztec Mummy" became "Attack of the Mayan Mummy," even through I believe the Aztecs and the Mayans were completely different...plus, the Mummy is more provoked than attacked.....etc.  Plus, on top of it, I believe the main Hero is killed.  I couldn't tell.  I was in shock from being in an ancient Aztec pyramid one second then a '50s Americana diner the next one, listening to someone outside the action telling me what was going on.

So, I shrug.  To be honest, I would love to see someone buy the copyrights from the Mexican Film Company who made this film and release it as it should be, instead of hacked up into what appears to be cut footage from a 1953 teen exploitation flick.  But, since one of the reasons that Mexican Horror got into the states was because it was free (not anymore, thanks to a 1992 decision), I doubt this will happen.  Of course, then again, Rhino Home Video did release this film and one of Warren's other Mexican mishmash, "Creature of the Walking Dead," I guess anything can happen.

To give credit where due, I do believe that Jerry did see the errors of his ways (a little) and dubbed some of "Creature."  I'll have to check that out soon.

RATING:  Whatever you do, don't let bad editing and a nonsense plot ruin Mexican Horror films for you.  K. Gordon did it better and showcases it's talents MUCH MUCH BETTER.  But for this mishmash, I'll give it Two Stars out of Four, and that's because the Aztec Mummy is just too cool for this shit.