The Master: "Max" (Series Pilot)

You were expecting a true martial arts film, weren't you?

But no, this time this Zbu is exploring the dark, dark recesses of the '80s.  Way, way back then in the days of The Go-Gos heyday, when "Family Ties" and other annoying sitcoms were considered entertainment, we also had the rise of hour-long drama shows.  Here in America, we also had the rise of popularity in Asian Culture.  Most notably, the "Ninja" craze, created by the disposable (and nowadays really, really embarrassing) movies of Chuck Norris and various Asian actors who took Bruce Lee's name is changed it into very possible spelling variation.  If you grew up like I did in the late '80s and early '90s, you can see when video games spat out Pac-Man and Mario and ingested a thousand or so fighting and 'ninja' games.  Throwing stars and swords littering the screen.   A game of "Ninja Gaiden," anyone?

My point is:  the only difference between the movie industry and the television industry is TV has to wait until the new season starts to rip off a trend.   And TV is a better gauge to see when a trend finally bottoms out.  Because, you know, the show will hit the shithouse in ratings and get canceled.

So welcome to the early '80s, the vague beginnings of the 'Ninja' craze that died as the '90s formed.  Our experiment today is a little-known show that only lasted thirteen episodes called "The Master," starring an older Lee Van Cleef as John McAllister, the very first Occidental (the opposite of Oriental: or white, if you really can't find your dictionary) trained in the art of the Ninja.    If this sounds familiar, then you must have had Comedy Central earlier in life:  this is the unedited version of "Master Ninja" which was shown twice on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Did I say twice?  I meant FOUR times, considering that "Master Ninja I" and "Master Ninja II" were really the first four episodes of the series.  There, your mystery solved.

No, wait:  in a complete departure from most forgotten TV series, "The Master" had it's entire thirteen-episode run released on VHS cassette during the advent of the video craze by Trans-World Entertainment.   While the show had it's good side and wasn't as bad as the MST3K boys would lead you to believe, the real reason Trans-World Entertainment was able to release it was because at the time it was releasing the films of Sho Kosugi (under the guise of "Ninja Theatre").  Since Mr. Kosugi was both the trainer and an actor in "The Master," it only seemed natural to release it to video.  Sadly, the series was also released under the name "Master Ninja" but is NOT the same movie you will see in the MST3K versions.  When you see "Master Ninja" under the Trans-World Entertainment label (which are readily available on Ebay; it's where I got mine), you are getting the full uncut versions, not the bastardized versions put out by that company that butchered "Marooned" into "Space Travelers" and "The Blade Master" into "Cave Dwellers."

Or "Time Walker" into "Being From Another Planet" and so on, and so on.  In fact, the only movie that deserved that edited treatment was "City Limits."   But I digress.

The Plot:  Max Keller, despite having a lisp, is a rogue traveler who makes his way through America in his souped-up van and companion hamster (I kid you not), getting into trouble and righting wrongs and leaving bars through windows.  We are shown his questionable Robin Hood ways in the first seconds of the show where he
 

1)  Leaves through a window, and
2)  Does the old 'tip all the bikers' motorcycles over,' which gets them pissed and so on.
 

Cut to Japan:  John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) receives a note that informs him that he has a daughter he never knew about.  But, being a ninja is like being in the Mafia, and just as difficult to leave.   Just as he fights off various ninjas in his house, he is chased by Okasa (Sho Kosugi), a former student-now-ninja-master of his.  Just as McAllister gets in his plane, Okasa nails him in the back with a throwing star.  Okasa believes his former master dead.

Now, everyone, sing along at home:  But Okasa thought WRONG.  And if you said that right, you get a star.

McAllister survives and meets up with Max at another bar, after McAllister saves Max's ass (a horrifying thought, my apologies) from the corrupt law enforcement that wants the airfield.   Max offers McAllister the chance to travel with him but the ninja master initially turns them down.   Until the corrupt law shows up and catches the airfield on fire.  Then McAllister accepts Max's help to stop the law to save the airfield, which means so much to the father of the girl and so on and so on.

This leads to the obligatory 'training scene' in which McAllister trains Max in the way of the ninja.  Or tries to.  Or, rather, Lee Van Cleef's young, thinner, and more flexible stunt double takes over and does the really hard work.   Sadly, even through McAllister's outfit is black, it's really obvious that whenever he needs to do something it is NOT Lee Van Cleef in that outfit.  How much would it cost to pad out the stunt man's suit a little and film it in a way that doesn't make it painfully obvious that it's a double?  But no matter.   Max gets the shit kicked out of him, and the world is better for it.

Anyway, Max and the Master take the battle to the corrupt law by invading a building the Corporation inhabits.  By saying 'Corporation,' it's really '80s lingo for "The Evil Behind the Episode."  You know, the guys who bought out the cops so they can get the airfield any way possible so they can build evil things like pollution plants or whatever.  You know, whatever was considered bad back in the "Vigilante/Reagan" days of the 1980s.  Just accept it, it'll go down easier.  Anyway,  The Master is able to break in until he meets....OKASA!!

Shock!  Dismay!  What the??

Okasa apparently has trailed his Master (ha, ha) to America in order to finish the job.  This leads to the neat part of the episode where Sho Kosugi and Lee Van Cleef's stunt double face off in a fight scene which I'll admit is pretty damn cool.  In fact, the Okasa outfit (a ninja suit with metal chainmail around the head and shoulders) is neat.  I want one.  I mean it, I want that and a sword and stars and....

Sigh.

Anyway, the Master shows that he's still the teacher and takes out Okasa, knocking him out instead of killing him.  Thus, the overlaying plot of Okasa hunting McAllister continues unabated.  Then the airfield is saved, the Corporation is put down, and everything is happy as Max and the Master travel together to find the daughter.  And evade Okasa.  And......so on.  For twelve more episodes.

RATING:  Despite the obvious stunt double and sometimes stilted acting of Timothy Van Patten ("Max"), the show is your typical '80s TV fodder.   The influence of Sho Kosugi is apparent and he nearly steals every scene he's in.   Not that bad, it's watchable, so hunker down and watch.  It's not John Woo, but it's a nice way to end the day.  Two and a half Stars out of Four.