"I look like a two-dollar whore."

Spinoffs.

The movie/TV industry views it as a way to capitalize a success's glory into another form, a movie or show, to get more ratings/money.   Now, in this perspective this only works at the time it's taking place:  when a show goes into reruns, these are the episodes in which you turn them off and find what lies on other channels.  Why?  Because, most likely, the main characters are either present for an 1/8 of the show (beginning and the end) or rather speaking in stilted lines that go along the lines of "And meet my new next door neighbor" or "Welcome back to town, let me introduce you to...."  And so forth.

Many popular shows had spinoffs or episodes dedicated to spinoffs.  Off the top of my head, "Married...With Children" had about five, one lasting for 13 or so episodes.  "Cheers" even had a few.  Hell, even "Star Trek" the original series had one written by Roddenberry himself.   But the sad truth is that most spinoffs rarely last.  Sure, they may hang around for a while even IF they're picked up, which is highly unlikely.  And if they do, they often can't escape the shadow of their parent and are compared to that same cloth.  Then they die.  Often more than not, they either kick off after the first failed season or last to their maximum lifespan of five seasons.  Sure, a few last longer than that but often their parent show either kicks off or the spinoff creates it's own spin which makes it tolerable.  Spinoffs, as a general rule of thumb, don't last long for this world.

And note that all the examples I used above are sitcoms, which spawn rapidly each season and die with the same speed.

The shows we review here at Odd Cinema are different.   There are not many spinoffs here.  In fact, I have yet to think of one single show that has appeared on this website that has spawned a successful spinoff.   That leads us to our experiment here, where we start with what I glossed over in the "Seven Wonders of the World Affair" review:  The third season of "The Man From UNCLE."

"Man From UNCLE" at this point in it's short lifespan was reaching the climax of it's 'humor/action' stage.  Remember, this was the season that spawned the universally hated "My Friend, the Gorilla Affair."   So, at the end of the second season, some of the producers created a spinoff series in the form of a "Man From UNCLE" episode known as "The Moonglow Affair" which featured Solo and Kuryakin getting knocked out by some strange THRUSH gas.  So, to fill in for them was April Dancer (played by a very young Mary Ann Mobley, before her eyes became constantly widened by constant plastic surgery), an up-and-coming secret agent still wet behind the ears.  To train her, UNCLE chief Waverly assigns Mark Slate who is very near the retirement age of forty.   We are given the hint that Slate is an expert at this, having trained Solo.  And, to make this even more odd, Mark Slate is played by Norman Fell, Mr. Roper himself.

So, to be blunt, Mr. Roper is training the second Ms. Drummond on "Diff'rent Strokes."  Talk about annoying '80s sitcoms coming back to annoy you.

But, despite the fact that both actors are still twenty years from those times, "The Moonglow Affair" is one of the better episodes of "The Man From UNCLE."  At the end, April and Mark are partnered up and Waverly 'misplaces' Mark's file so he is allowed to work for UNCLE without fear of retirement.  Thus, the stage is set for a bunch of all new adventures that include UNCLE and Waverly (who, I should mention before I forget, Leo Carroll of "Tarantula" fame).  Now, how could this possibly go wrong?

Easy.  Take the formula that worked for an episode, and change EVERYTHING.

Mobley and Fell were sacked.  The part of April Dancer was given to a young Stephanie Powers (yes, of "Hart to Hart" fame) and the part of old warhorse Mark Slate was inexplicably given to a twenty-five-year-old British pop star named Noel Harrison.  Apparently Waverly hid Slate's file a bit TOO well.    Either way, both of these actors played their roles to the hilt and after twenty-so episodes, the "Girl From UNCLE" was canceled.   But why?

Simple.  While the actors were changed,  so had the writing.

In the "Moonglow Affair," April was an agent capable of fighting on her own behalf.  In the series, however, April was reduced to looking pretty and not doing a damn thing to save herself.   They might has well saved themselves the trouble of hiring Powers and put a mannequin in her place, for crying out loud!    And this fault lies at the hands of the writers.  And maybe the producers.  After all, the times were changing....but nobody had faith in a female agent.  Sadly.   So, April often played the foil to the newly-rejuvienated Slate, her character was written down, and the show was canceled and it's promise forgotten.  And so "Man From UNCLE" went into it's fourth and last season bleeding and eventually bit the bullet.

However, in today's experiment, we visit the most popular episode of "The Girl From UNCLE," called "The Mother Muffin Affair" starring Boris Karloff as an old lady whose crime syndicate is holding a girl for hostage.  Plus, Mark Slate is nowhere to be seen.  This was an little experiment by the producers of the UNCLE series to give "Girl" a bit closer continuity to "Man."  So while Mark Slate is off helping Illya Kuryakin in "The Man From UNCLE: The Galatea Affair," Napoleon Solo is with April in "Mother Muffin."  Got that clear?  Good.  Now, for the plot:

April and Solo are caught in a hotel room by Mother Muffin and her forces.  Said forces are hovering all over their hotel room, ready to strike.  So, Solo thinks up a plan that involves April's sweater and a lot of broken glass and a somewhat realistic Brit accent from Ms. Powers.  Anyway, the plan works somewhat, and both agents are captured by Mother Muffin, who wants to make both agents into wax figures ala "Bucket of Blood."  They escape, Mother Muffin catches them again, they escape again, finally defeating Mother Muffin and return the hostage girl back to UNCLE.  The end.

A bit short?  Well, to be honest, there isn't much plot to go into.  The whole episode is screwed up beyond belief and only lets us know the plot until the very end.  Why is the girl being held hostage?   I've completely forgotten.  All I know is that the whole episode was just a bunch of amusing sequences tied together with interesting scenes between April, Solo, and Mother Muffin.  That's it.  There's a tape involved somewhere, but it's just eye candy for the masses.  You get to see Boris Karloff in woman's makeup, what more do you want??

RATING:  The whole episode is just about Boris:  Boris is an old lady, Solo is there doing neat stuff....but somehow, someone forgot to explain it all to the audience before going off on it.  It's badly written, and maybe a sign that "The Girl From UNCLE" deserves all it's bad critiques.  Well, "Moonglow" gave me hope.  Maybe next time I won't be so burned.   One and a Half Stars out of Four.  And that one star is for Boris: he played a woman quite well.

As of this date, no "Girl From UNCLE" episodes have been released on tape, besides "The Moonglow Affair."  And TNT still owns the rights.  Cross your fingers and maybe they'll show a few when they have the chance.