Gemini Man:  "Return of the Lion."

So here we are:  "Inhumanland Fridays" on the Sci-Fi Channel.

And, thanks to a cleaning out of their vaults, the public at large with cable connections are enjoying a bit of nearly-forgotten cheese from the 1970s in the form of "Gemini Man."  This would be a good day except for two things:
 

1. Sci-Fi constantly insists on giving each of these shows that appear on there the MST3K treatment by flipping up these cards while the episode is playing that foreshadow minor (and therefore humorous?) events onscreen.  Gee, thanks for giving me reason to revoke the praise I heaped on you, Sci-Fi.  You canceled MST3K for what reason now??
2. The fact that, despite everything, they ignored my email plea to air some of the episodes that aren't available through trade/taped lines.  Even through they aired "Escape Hatch" which I did not, they did air FIVE of the six episodes I already had.

So, while I sit here while the day's rotation of shows reaches it's end, I bring to mind the very first episode of Gemini Man I ever saw, "Return of the Lion."  It must have been a good year ago, ever since I saw the MST3K episode "Riding with Death," which shows the Universal treatment of failed shows by editing them together in a half-assed movie.  "Riding With Death" was not bad in this respect, not compared to the movies Universal culled from "Kolchak, The Night Stalker."  If you ever see "The Demon and the Mummy" on Sci-Fi schedule, then you will know what happens when the Universal TV Movie syndrome goes horribly wrong.

But back to "Lion."  Ironically, it was never aired in the '70s due to the fact that Gemini Man was canceled after it's fifth show (which, I believe off hand, was "Escape Hatch").  So, along with six other episodes, "Return of the Lion" didn't air until twenty years after along with most of the episodes.  And, thanks to epguides.com, it shows that this episode was the very last episode produced before Gemini Man was buried and forgotten.

"Return of the Lion" begins with Sam Casey (Ben Murphy) helping a removed dictator back to his post at an unnamed African country.  The dictator, of whom we'll call the Lion because his name is supposed to be that and I'm too lazy to look it up, is an arrogant shithead who keeps believing that we was helping his downtrodden people.  This is the first sign that we're going to forego all the action that is usual in a Gemini Man episode to play out a half-assed morality play that will eventually change the Lion's outlook.  But what about the action part?  Well, the Lion is returning to this country (hey, the name of the episode, go figure!) because he was overthrown by a bunch of his own people, who are now in the thralls of some mercenaries who want their own country.  Okay, a somewhat complex plot but it'll do for now.  Nevertheless, it's Sam's mission to take the Lion back home in a helicopter.

So, we are tortured with the basic premise of this plot:  Sam arguing with the Lion about how wrong the Lion was and the Lion arguing about this and that until someone gets sick of all this plot and fires a missile at them.  A stock footage missile, to boot.   But, thanks to Sam's expert piloting skills, the helicopter is hit in the rotor and manages to crash successfully, knocking both men cold.  Then the mercs come to check on the damage...

Five points to whomever thought that Sam's power of invisibility would come into play.  Good job, you've watched the series.

So begins the rest of the episode:  Sam and The Lion keep running from the mercenaries who want the Lion dead so they can keep their power.  However, along the way the Lion meets his people and finds that he has been treating them like rubbish despite his claims.  Of course, he is quite thickheaded and eventually urks Sam to such an extent that Sam actually kicks his ass.    Yes, a fist fight.  No mamby-pamby shit about being politically correct and being the better man, Sam Casey just cuts into this man and wails on him.   Quite ironic for a '70s action show where stereotypes were played to the hilt and this scene wouldn't be that kosher.  Surely, the Lion is deluded!  All he needs is a gentle hand to show him the way!!

Yeah, right.  Keep wishing, bleeding heart.  Like the old line goes, 'there are some men you can't reason with....'

But this fight and interesting exposition on the character of Sam Casey ends when both men are captured by the mercs.  Quick thinking, Sam lies about leading the Lion as his prisoner to the mercs themselves, under the leadership of another (fictional) leader.  The mercs believe Sam and take both of them into custody.  The Lion is tied up at camp, while Sam enjoys the friendship of the mercs until they hit the sack and Sam goes to save the Lion.  All for naught.  The mercs are one step ahead, telling Sam that there is no leader that he speaks of, and holds them both hostage.  That is, until Leonard (the head guy of INTERSECT, played by William Sylvester) finally breaks his own orders to intercede and goes off to save them......

Of course, I won't tell you the ending.  That would be telling, you know.  Besides, why would I review something in total that I want you to see?  Besides, it's the final episode....almost anything can happen.....

But this episode was the perfect opener for any watcher of Gemini Man.  It describes the character of Sam Casey in small amounts while playing the '70s speech of equal rights and all that jargon.  But the real point here is the plot, which takes some clichés and plays upon them, such as the mercs actually showing some cleverness (the triple-cross at camp).  And that's what makes this so much more superior to "Night Train To Dallas:"  no cops showing up at the last moment to save our hero's hide, no painful attempts at humor involving forty-year old men posing as college football teams.  Sure, by this time the part of Dr. Abby (Katherine Crawford) had been weeded out as so much deadwood, but the plot moves as it should and actually makes some sense.  If you dig past all the issues-loaded dialogue involving the Lion's ignorance about his own people, it makes for a good hour of just popcorn action.

RATING:  The plot works in this one, thank God.  Three stars out of Four.  Check it out next time Sci-Fi has it on....which, since they're airing Manimal twice in as many months, means this one is bound to be shown again.  Check it out and tape it.  It deserves to be remembered in some capacity.