The DVD revolution, despite it's inability to produce an cheap and effective recording device, has its moments. In fact, they are quite nice moments.
If you were like me and grew up in the early to mid 1980s, you were probably gifted in a way that anyone before or after will never be able to understand. On the worse (?) side, you were subject to the first pangs of bright and flashy commercialism combined with cartoon shows that hocked the stuff. While that doesn't approach the levels of today's crass selling techinque, it did lead to some excellent products. G.I. Joe was only 3 3/4 inches tall, but his popularity was much much bigger. There were robots that could change into modern day vehicles, combining the love of science-fictiony robots that could crush buildings with the pizzazz and VROOM of cars. It was an age where anything could be built around a sports car or a Phil Collins soundtrack. It was an age that had a glimmer of excellence and an odd sort of optimism that was quickly branded 'old' in the 'the more miserable the better' 1990s.
I should note that Phil Collins was better back then, too. Note: whatever happened to his music? Perhaps that's like Stephen King's writing. Maybe some geniuses do their best, most insightful work when they're going to a personal crisis. Not all, but some. Those some who ride their popularity until they get really, really pathetic and found themselves shit out of luck in middle age.
Well, thanks to the DVD revolution there are various things that are being released that, thanks to the almost-snobbishness of the VHS age, would have never seen the light of day otherwise. I would like to say that one of these things was the entire run of "Transformers," but I would be lying. Rhino Home Video already read my mind and started releasing the damn things to tape before burning some discs for our enjoyment. And enjoy I did.
If you're unfamiliar with the entire plot of Transformers, I'll fill you in: it's a battle on Earth between some ragtag renegades called Autobots and their opposites, the Deceptions. They originally come from some world called Cybertron. The Autobots got their asses kicked and landed on Earth 65 million years ago and fell into some giant coma. After awakening for some reason, they decide to get back at the Deceptions. Oh, by the way, they also happen to transform into modern-day cars and shit (apparently foreseeing the future is one of those hidden abilities. I didn't say this was all logical) and continue their battle on Earth thanks to some really annoying human beings who really need to be stepped on.
That was the series. The movie, however, takes place in that wonderful little land we call THE NEAR FUTURE. The Autobots are planning on taking over Cybertron once and for all. This all goes to hell when the Deceptions are discovered to have been spying on the heroes and take them out. And they do, for the first 26 minutes of the movie. There's gunfire, three or four rock songs are played at certain intervals as certain characters are taken apart, blown away, and the commanders of the Autobot and Deception Armies (Optimus Prime and Megatron, respectively) are killed.
Yes, this was meant for kids. And that is my point: nowadays, animation is either watered-down childrens' fare that deals out cliched little 'life-lessons' that mean nothing and a bunch of naked marketing. Sure, they had this back in 1986 (in spades, as this movie was introducing new characters left and right), but this also had DEATH. The main hero, Optimus Prime, was KILLED. Dead. Never to return. Dead, gone, get out the tissues and repackage the action figure for value later on, he was DEAD DEAD DEAD. I would like to see the producers of "Pokemon" do that to Pikachu. That would probably start a freaking riot. The shows were for kids, but they also had story back then. A shame, really, to see such an era end. Of course, thanks to various events, nobody trusts children anymore. And they wonder why they freak out when life finally does catch up with them.
Define irony.
Okay, so Megatron isn't really dead but badly wounded. His second-in-command, Starscream, throws him out an airlock and assumes command of the Deceptions. With his dying breath, Megatron swears revenge which is granted by your local neighborhood Galactus Planet-Eater ripoff called Omicron (voiced by Orson Welles!?). Omicron grants Megatron a new life, in exchange for eating Cybertron. Megatron tries to refuse, but succombs. He is transformed into Galvatron, and returns to Cybertron with his new army and lays waste to his traitorous crew. Starscream ends his life by being blown in two.
Meanwhile, the Autobots deal with the death of their leader by taking the matrix out of Optimus Prime's body and donning black trenchcoats. No, wait. The Matrix is like the crown of the Autobots; whomever has it is THE LEADER. Of course, the new commander called Ultra Magnus (voiced by Robert Stack?!) believes himself to be but, turns out, not to be. Which is kind of funny, considering that the Ultra Magnus action figure was a white version of the Optimus Prime figure (which was originally red), with a few additions like shoulder armaments, a new head, and a bigger gun. No, the new leader turns out to be the hothead called "Hot Rod," who turns into RODIMUS PRIME, the new leader of the Autobots. The Autobots fight the Deceptions, they win, the movie ends. Any more description would be pointless, but that's the basic plot. Omicron is stopped by the Matrix for some reason.
Well, the movie is a lot less plotless than I remember it being, but it shows a great deal of entertainment. While some moments are plainly stupid (anything with the humans...all TWO of them), most of the movie is action/adventure and just flows along. The whole Omicron plot wasn't really needed aside from rebuilding the menace of the Deceptions, but all and all the soundtrack really adds to the overall coolness of the picture. Granted, seeing it once was enough for me, but it's good to have that little piece of my childhood back. One should never forget where he/she came from. To do that is to lose one's self.
ADDENDUM: The only extra on the disc is a completely pointless ten minute interview with the music composer. I forget this name, but he worked on Rocky 4 and this is what got him this gig. He didn't meet with the producers themselves, threw some shit together to bind together the rock bits (which take up 75% of the freaking film!!), all of which is completely pointless. To add insult to injury, Rhino graced their "G.I. Joe: The Movie" disc with commercials from the '80s, hocking the toys! Why couldn't they do the same for this??? Was it too hard?? That missed opportunity aside, the disc is basically perfect. Even though I should dock a few stars off for thinking that the dumbass conductor had ANY insight into the making of this film in ANY respect.
RATING: A nice slice of my childhood, and not a half bad movie. Better than Pokemon 2000 or Rugrats in a Washer. Four Stars out of Four. Highly recommended.