13 Demon Street: "The Girl in the Glacier."

This episode is included as an extra on the SWV "Terror in the Midnight Sun"/"Invasion of the Animal People" DVD release.   Buy it to see how good the FX can be on a foreign sci-fi film and how much Jerry Warren sucks for changing it into something evil.

Somewhere in a mining town in the mine-happy part of Sweden, "where people have lived uneventful lives for thousands of years,"  a strange fossil is found:  a naked woman in a block of ice.    One of the scientists that studies it keeps noting it is naked and at the same time, seriously tries to convince the audience that he's madly in love with her despite the fact that she is probably dead.  In fact, it might be because she's naked.   In fact, I'm starting to think that it IS because she's naked, and in the ice.

Make your own conclusions.

Anyway, one of the scientist's associates merely wants to cut the icy slab open and dissect the obviously dead woman in the name of science.  However, the lovelorn scientist--who keeps turning down his wife because he's so in love with Naked Ice Woman--refuses and eventually goes to warm the ice and free his apparent kindred spirit.    He interrupts the associate and kills him.  Then, the scientist starts the unmelting process and the title character opens her eyes.   Finally, the scientist melts the block of ice only to find slush and water....no girl at all.

Needless to say, this story is dull, bleak, and ultimately confusing.   Why the hell did the Naked Ice Girl melt?   Was she even there in the first place?    Perhaps the writer of this story, Curt Siodmak, was forced to cut a lot of the story--all of it?--to fit it into the half hour format.  Or there was none in the first place and this is just a filler episode designed to just get another episode under the belt and no more.   Since ol' Curt was also the director and producer on this little insomniac cure, I imagine this was the case.  Truly boring.

Through to give credit where credit is due, there is one particular scene that could provide some horror if it wasn't edited so badly.   During the final melting sequence, the camera cuts between the faces of the Ice Girl and the scientist.   The scientist has a look of grim determination while the brave actress, immersed up to her eyeballs in water, gives him a glare that could have been very effective if they didn't immerse her up to her eyeballs in water.    In fact, it looked like some idiot put her into a water tank that had been made up like a ice block and just poured some water in.  The problem is..

1)  Glaciers are not full of water;  but rather ice.

2)  If you melt a glacier from the outside, the outside will melt before the inside will, making the whole scene look rather silly as opposed to keeping the suspension of disbelief going strong.

And the part that ruins this is that instead of cutting back to the actress giving her benefactor the evil eye(s), it cuts to an inexplicable shot of a mannequin immersed totally in the glacier!   Apparently as this certain block of ice is being melted, it fills up the interior with water!!   Huh?  But....oh, never mind.  Just never freaking mind.

BOTTOM LINE:   It's an interesting extra, but it makes no real sense.  So a man kills another man for the love of a dead woman..or a woman that never really existed or....oh, to hell with it.  I'm giving it more thought than it deserves.  It's an interesting extra but easily a very very bad way to spend half an hour.    Zero stars out of Four.   And not even a dull intro and outro by Lon Chaney, Jr helps on a humorous level.

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