"He's sleeping Toni, it's late you should have called," he said frowning at her.
"Billy I need to see him."
"Can't it wait till tomorrow?" he asked, a little unnerved by the look on her face.
Toni shook her head. "No it can't, it's waited long enough," she answered gesturing to the locked door separating them. He reluctantly agreed and slipped the card into the door opening it for her. "Have a good night Billy," she said, dismissing him and then quietly closing the door behind her.
Sitting her things down, she glanced around the lavish room, his things were everywhere. She walked over to the sitting area and picked up a Tampa jersey that had been thrown carelessly over the arm of the sofa. She held it close to her inhaling his scent. Nick's movement from the bed brought her out of her thoughts. Putting the jersey down, she crossed the room to where he lay sleeping, his blonde hair completely a mess. The sight of him laying they're looking so peaceful caught her off guard. She suddenly knew she couldn't do this. She covered her mouth with her hand to keep the sobs of pain that threatened to escape her mouth. Turning, she began to walk out of the room until the silver frame next to the bad caught her eye. She stood starring at the picture of her and Nick, his arms wrapped securely around her waist, laughter dancing in their eyes. She reached out and picked it up transfixed in the memories it brought. Her tears fell softly on the picture, clouding the image. "Oh Nick," she whispered.
Hearing her voice brought Nick from his sleep. He sat up rubbing his eyes and then he saw her there, holding the picture he never left without, tears falling down her face. "Toni," he said in amazement as he slipped out of the bed and made his way to her. She gasped as she felt his arms circle her waist. "Baby what are you doing here?" he questioned, still stunned to find her here and in his arms.
"I'm sorry Nick, this was a mistake," she said softly, drying her tears. She began to pull away.
He pulled her back into his arms this time making her face him. "Baby you came halfway across the country in the middle of the night. Toni please tell me what's wrong," he said, lifting her eyes to meet his.
"Nick," she began and then fell against him sobbing. He'd never seen this happen to her. She'd crumbled into his arms like a little girl. He held her tightly wanting desperately to say something to make it all go away. He knew she needed something from him but fear held his emotions and feelings back.
Softly and gently his hands ran over her back, quieting her.
She looked up at him her eyes still wet with tears. "Nick I came here because," she took in a breath. "Because I love you and I need you, I need you to hold me, I want you to touch me again, to tell me that you love me too," she couldn't stop she had to say it all before she lost her nerve. "I don't know what to do anymore, I can't do anything I can't feel anything but pain. I love you so much and we're drifting apart, please Nick help me, help us find each other again. I've never felt like this. Nick, I can't live like this anymore," she said her voice falling off. "I can't live without you, I don't know how to," she finished in a whisper.
She hadn't looked at him the entire time. She'd stared down at the floor afraid to watch his eyes. She waited for a response from him and when she got none, she turned to go. Nick's soft whimper made her turn. She looked back to find him standing there, tears running down his face.
She stopped, afraid to move, afraid not to. She had never seen him like this. She'd just assumed he had no tears. "Toni please come here," he whispered. She crossed the room quickly and at once he pulled her to him.
The tears slid down his face as he ran his thumb over her cheek. "I'm sorry. I love you Toni. I wanted to tell you, to hold you. It scares me, I didn't know I could feel this strong about anything. I'd shut myself off to everything and then you came into my life. You made me so happy. I started thinking it couldn't last, I couldn't be that lucky to have found someone," he stopped, choking back sobs.
"Nick please talk to me," she pleaded, brushing away a tear.
"I couldn't have been lucky enough to find a woman who loved me, just Nick, not the Backstreet Boys, not my money, just me. You never wanted anything Toni. You always gave to me. You never asked for anything. All you've ever wanted was my love. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you and Toni, I do need you. I need you more than I know how to express. I just never knew how to show you. Please Toni please," he couldn't continue. He slid to his knees burying his head in her tummy and cried.
She gently ran her fingers through his blonde hair. "Nicky, please what?" she asked gently.
He looked up at her intently. "Please show me how, tell me how to make you believe I love you," he finished in nearly a whisper.
She drew in a breath. "Nick just tell me, hold me, let me know how you feel. When you have something on your mind, share it. I wanna be in your life, not just a part of it you visit from time to time," she answered. He stood pulling her to him. His hands ran over her face. "I want you in my life Toni. I don't wanna lose you. Please tell me it's not to late, that you still love me."
"Nick I've always loved you. I always will," she answered reassuring him.
Licking his lips, he slowly brought his lips to hers and tenderly kissed her. Without any resistance, she accepted him as his tongue passed her lips caressing every inch of her mouth. His hands resting on the base of her neck pulled her closer to him, deeping the kiss. No words were spoken as they fell onto the bed together still wrapped in a world of one another.
His body covered hers, blanketing her in him, wanting to let her know he was there and more than that that he was hers. Softly his kisses trailed over her neck as he unbuttoned her shirt, wanting to feel her heart beating against his. Carefully he slipped it off her shoulders, placing light kisses on the exposed skin, cherishing her body. Laying her back down, he removed the jeans from her body, running his hands over the soft flesh of her thighs. Carefully he slipped off the silky fabric of her panties. Never had he felt like this. He never knew touching a woman could be this amazing. Feelings of need and love running through him, he slowly removed the last piece of fabric separating them and found her eyes, still clouded with tears.
His lips found hers and ever so tenderly he entered her. Her soft moans against his lips sent chills through his body. There was no lust, no need to be in a rush. The slow erotic rhythm of their lovemaking bringing them closer to one another. Nick's eyes never left hers. His soft professions of love and tender apologies left Toni trembling under him. Toni couldn't handle anymore, the intense feelings running through her soon left her crying and begging against his lips. "Nicky please please I need to feel you, please don't leave me. I love you," she managed between straggled breaths.
"Shh babygirl, I'm here. I love you. I'm not going anywhere," he answered, calming her fears. Their lips met in a heated kiss and sensing her intense need, his pace quickened needing to bring her over the edge, to lose themselves in each other. The sounds of her breathing and cries of his name drove Nick into a passion she'd never seen in him before. His hands found hers, intertwining their fingers together holding her hands down to the pillow, his eyes burned with a deep blue, the tears in them making them sparkle.
"Nicky," she breathed as her release found her, feeling her cling to him calling out his name. Whispering her name against her lips before capturing them in a soft tender kiss, he soon fell into a release of his own.
No words were spoken as they struggled to come down from the incredible high that comes only from being with that one person you love more than anything else. Lying there in his arms holding onto him tightly, Toni realized she had finally gotten the answers to all of her questions. No longer would she wonder if it mattered, because in one night, with pure honesty and a deep felt confession of love, she realized he mattered more than anything else to her. She'd never wonder what to do without him because he'd always be there and as for how was she to live without him, the answer had always been quite simple. She couldn't, and now she knew she'd never have to.
How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh and I
I need you in my arms need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave baby you would take away everything good in my life
(Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take everything real in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever
Ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby cause you know that your everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
How do I breath without you
If you ever go
How do I ever
Ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live)
How Do I live: Trisha Yearwood
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