Author�s note: Given my shiny new Jared Leto obsession, it shouldn�t come as a surprise that 30stm was name-dropped into this episode. :D (And no, their new album isn�t actually that hard to find online. It�s rather good, too � I recommend it.) The film that Josh and Leah saw, if you�re interested in this sort of background info, is 2003�s Willard, starring another of my recent obsessions, Crispin Glover.
Additional disclaimers: �Tangible ass-kicking� is a cute concept lifted from Buffy season 7. �I let � dress me. Not literally.� is lifted from Buffy again. The whole �this is the beginning of my happiness� concept is lifted from The Hours. Amnesia�s three songs are listed up top as downloads in the order that they appear in this episode; none of them belong to me.
Acknowledgements: Thanks muchly to the posters on the Fan Fiction Writers Q&A thread on fanforum, who told me a lot about the college application process and various colleges.
Part One
Teaser
The weather had been glorious for the past week, and signs of spring were finally stirring in the streets of New Rawley. The afternoon sunlight coated the sidewalks with what seemed a thin layer of gilt foil, lending warmth to the air still chilly with the last clinging vestige of winter. The roadside white cedars were starting to bud, and the daffodils in the window box at Mrs Taylor�s Bed and Breakfast had burst into bloom.
Not that Jake Pratt noticed any of this as she strode down Main Street, heading toward Friendly�s, arguing with Spencer Harrison at her heels. �It�s not gonna work!� she exclaimed heatedly. �You�re insane if you think that�s gonna be the same as mine.�
�You just don�t want to admit you spent the whole day coding for nothing,� he replied calmly, looking down at a printed sheet of computer code. �I�m telling you, this works, and it�s ten times more efficient than yours.�
�No freaking way,� she grabbed the printout from his hands. �Where�s the part that deals with the prime number algorithms, huh? You completely skipped it; if you try to run it without the exclusion, there�s gonna be breaks. The whole thing�s gonna come crashing down.�
�If you haven�t noticed,� he pointed at the code, �the function that excludes all odd numbers already took care of that; if you put in a prime number command, it�d be completely redundant.�
She looked put out for a moment before she brightened. �And what about two?�
He raised an eyebrow.
�Two. It�s prime, and it�s even,� she said triumphantly. �Your function didn�t catch that.�
�Yes, you got me there,� he said dryly. �There�s no way this can work now. There�s no way I can just write one more line of code eliminating the possibility of two being generated; my code�s dead and buried. Let�s go with your ten pages instead of my three.�
�I� I�� she stuttered as they neared the diner, flipping her hair out of her eyes. �You�re so annoying!�
�You�re just pissed off cos my code is far more elegant,� he chuckled. �And it works. Look, we�ll test it in class tomorrow; if there�s a bug, then I�ll concede defeat and we�ll go with your version.�
She frowned at him. �You don�t look worried.�
�Why should I be?� he shrugged, grinning. �There are no bugs, I can put money on that.�
�God, you�re so full of yourself,� she rolled her eyes skyward, folding her arms across her chest.
�So are you,� he said blithely. �Which is why you�re having so much trouble accepting I�ve written something better this time. Come on, Jacqueline, you know this is gonna get us an A.�
She narrowed her eyes at him. He merely smiled, and waited.
�A-plus,� she finally said, begrudgingly, breaking into a small smile.
He laughed, rolling the code up and patting her on the shoulder with it. �I�ll see you tomorrow, then.�
Hamilton Fleming, who was walking up the road, caught sight of them just as Spencer turned to go. �Hey, Jake,� he called, jogging up.
�Hey,� she turned, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
Spencer turned back around, giving Hamilton a friendly smile. Hamilton, however, looked distinctly less welcoming. �Hey man,� he said, extending a hand. �I�m Hamilton, Jacqueline�s boyfriend.�
�Nice to meet you,� Spencer said easily, and they exchanged a handshake. �Spencer Harrison.�
�Me and Spencer are working on this project for our computer class,� Jake said. �I told you, remember?�
�I remember,� said Hamilton, darting another look at Spencer, his expression guarded.
�Well, I�d better get going,� Spencer said, waving his roll of code at Jake. �Gotta go add that horribly difficult, nearly impossible, one line about the two. Can�t imagine how I�ll ever manage. It�ll take me hours.�
�Shut up,� she said, making a sour face. �I hope it kicks your ass.�
He merely laughed. �Good meeting you, Hamilton,� he said, turning away. �See you in class, Jacqueline.�
�Bye,� she said with a smile, waving him off.
Hamilton nodded stiffly, narrowing his eyes as Spencer sauntered down the street. �You didn�t tell me you were doing the programming project with a guy,� he said, turning to Jake.
She looked at him as if he were crazy. �It�s AP computing, Hamilton. Nearly everyone in the class is a guy.�
�But not everyone?�
�Well, no,� she admitted. �But Sydney was working with someone already, and Nancy�s a total spaz� why? What�s wrong with a guy? I lived in guys� dorms for nearly two years, in case you forgot.�
�It�s not the same,� he grumbled as they made their way into the diner. �And that guy��
�Spencer,� she offered helpfully, hiding a smile.
He gave her a Look. �Don�t you think he�s kinda� pretty? Guy looks like he should be wearing tights and doing ballet, or something.�
�No, I think you�re thinking of Josh when you say that,� she said slowly, looking like she was trying hard not to laugh. �Actually, Spencer�s into Tae Kwan Do; he won the junior interstate a couple of years ago.�
�Oh, a jock,� he said as they claimed the corner booth, looking somewhat vindicated. �Must be annoying then, having to work with him.�
�It is annoying,� she sighed dramatically, sneaking a peek at him. �I spent all night last night writing this awesome code for this prime number algorithm�� Upon catching his blank look she laughed, planting a kiss on his cheek. �It�s part of the project. Anyway, I write this great code, and today Spencer shows up with the same thing, except it�s three times shorter than mine and about ten times simpler.�
�That�ll show him,� he said with a satisfied smile, kissing her on the forehead. �Well done, baby.�
She gave him an indulgent look. �You have no idea what I�m talking about, do you?�
He blinked. �Yours is way longer than his and way more complex; that�s gotta be a good thing, right?�
�You�re so cute,� she laughed, kissing him again on the cheek. �Not when it comes to programming, Hamilton.�
�So you�re saying�� he furrowed his brows. �His� was� better?�
�As much as I hate to admit it, it kicked my ass. Or at least my code�s ass. If it has an ass that can be kicked��
�Huh.�
She watched his crestfallen expression and couldn�t help chuckling. �You�re jealous.�
�What? No,� he said emphatically, turning an interesting shade of puce.
She merely raised an eyebrow.
�Well,� he muttered. �Maybe. I mean, yeah. This guy�s all� good at the hacking and stuff.�
�Actually, hacking and programming are kinda two different things�� she couldn�t help pointing out, laughing again when he gave her a dirty look. �I�m just messing with you,� she chuckled. �You�re so cute when you�re jealous. You get all worried and look like you�re gonna die of confusion.�
�I don�t look like I�m gonna die,� he grumbled, but couldn�t help a smile when she kissed him again, on the lips this time. �I have nothing to worry about?� he asked softly. �Cos you know I suck at all this computer stuff. And if you weren�t kidding about the Tae Kwan Do thing, I don�t think I can take him down in a fight to defend my honour or anything.�
�You don�t have to,� she laughed. �Seriously, you have nothing to worry about from Spencer. He�s so completely full of himself. Thinks he�s better than everyone.�
�I thought his code kicked your code�s ass,� he said, mischievously. �Wouldn�t that mean he is better��
�Shut up,� she chuckled again, quietly, leaning in to give him another kiss.
He kissed her back with a smile, pulling her closer. Before he could immerse himself in it, however, someone coughed loudly beside them. Hamilton pulled away reluctantly, glancing over his shoulder.
Pagan Leigh stood at their booth, looking half impatient and half embarrassed. �Hey,� he said, shuffling from one foot to the other.
�Pagan!� Jake exclaimed, looking as though she were about to jump up but rethought the idea at the last moment. �What are you doing here? I mean� what do you want? Um, I mean��
�It�s like this,� he said, equally uncomfortably. �My dad called. Um, he would�ve called you directly, except he didn�t have your number, and, um��
�Your dad?� she repeated, her eyes widening as she glanced back at Hamilton.
�Yeah,� Pagan said, looking down at his feet. �The thing is, he kinda wants to� talk to you. I mean, have dinner. With both of us.�
She just stared.
�I mean, only if you want. I� I said I�d ask you and, well,� he shrugged. �Here I am, asking. We�re having dinner tomorrow night, he�s coming down from New York and� I guess he wants to see you.�
�I�m sorry,� she murmured. �I�m still kinda stuck on the whole �having dinner together� part.�
�You don�t have to say yes or anything,� he muttered. �I�m just the messenger here. It�s up to you. He just thought� maybe he should, you know, get to know you. Now that the thing with my mom�s kinda smoothed over and�� he trailed off, shrugging again.
She blinked slowly, still looking shell-shocked. �What about you?� she asked after a moment of silence, gazing up at him. �Do you want me to come?�
He looked back at her, his gaze steady and very blue in the afternoon light, and he made no reply.
Part Two
*Opening credits and theme song*
Rawley Boys� Academy
�So how�s Operation Free-From-Ryder going?� asked Faye Archer, bouncing up and down on the bed and waving her hands in the air, drying her new coat of nail polish.
�Do you have to call it that?� groaned Josh Sutherland, who was sitting next to her, holding the bottle and looking faintly green with her constant jiggling. �And I think I�m gonna be sick.�
�You�re such a pansy,� she stuck her tongue out at him, stopping her bouncing with an effort. �So, managed to scam a single room again. How come you get all the luck?�
�Yeah, if you call driven-out-of-my-own-dorm-room-because-I-have-to-get-over-your-brother-or-risk-going-insane �luck�.�
�And such a drama queen.�
He gave her an exasperated look. �Can you be a little supportive?�
�Touchy,� she muttered, raising an eyebrow. �What�s the matter with you today?�
He shrugged, putting one last stroke on his little finger before putting away the bottle. The varnish was standard black today, glossy and opaque. Wordlessly he held his hands up to the light, tilting his head as he examined his handiwork.
She tucked her legs beneath her and turned to face him. �It�s this date with Leah tomorrow, isn�t it? God, why did you ask her out if you�re not into her?�
�Who said I�m not into her?� he said, defensively.
�Your overwhelming and infectious enthusiasm?�
�So I�m not jumping around and giggling like a pre-pubescent girl on uppers. Shoot me.�
�Just because Malcolm shot you down doesn�t mean you had to grab the first available person in line.�
�God, it�s just a date, okay?� he slid off the bed, striding to his dresser. �It�s not like I proposed marriage.�
She fell silent, watching his reflection in the mirror. �I just worry about you.�
�I�m all right,� he said after a pause, turning back. �Really. Anyway, how are things with Scout? You guys are disgustingly cuddly lately.�
�As you keep reminding us,� she looked suddenly bashful. �We�re� great. Everything�s great. He� he�s changed a lot this past semester.�
�So I�ve heard.�
She nodded, playing with his bedspread, a smile tugging at her lips. He watched her, a momentary shadow crossing his eyes before he turned again, glancing at his reflection.
�It�s good to know that at least some people are happy,� he murmured.
***
The diner
�And then what did you say?� asked Grace Banks, wide-eyed.
She and Pagan were sitting at the counter, sharing their customary after-school snack of fries with butterscotch sauce. The diner was crowded with high school kids both Rawley and Edmund alike, and she cast a cautious glance over her shoulder, even though she�d seen Jake and Hamilton walk out earlier. �God, talk about putting you on the spot,� she said, fuming quietly. �Did you give her a piece of your mind?�
�I just looked at her,� he laughed, popping a fry in his mouth. �Didn�t do anything. Just stared.�
She couldn�t stop giggling. �And then?�
�And then she got all red and started mumbling,� he chuckled. �Kinda hard not to feel sorry for her, so then I told her it�d be cool if she came.�
She stopped eating and turned to stare. �Is that a joke?�
He shrugged, contemplating the plate of fries.
�She�s having dinner with your dad � and you � and suddenly you�re okay with that now?�
�I�m not okay with it,� he said in a low voice. After a pause he glanced at her. �I don�t know what I am; I dunno how I�m supposed to feel about it.�
�Forget about how you�re supposed to feel,� she said gently. �How do you feel about it?�
He shrugged again, reaching for the last fry.
�Don�t shut me out, Pagan,� she said after a pause, watching him break the fry in two and nibble thoughtfully on one half.
�I�m not,� he said, handing the other half to her without looking in her direction. �I don�t know what I feel anymore. I mean, it was so simple a couple of months ago; she ruined my life and it was so easy to get her kicked out of Rawley and�� he trailed off, shrugging for the third time.
�She�s growing on you, huh?�
He looked askance at her, an expression of mild alarm crossing his face.
�I�ll take that as a yes.� She smiled. �Hey, you have to admit that�s gotta be a good thing in the long run.�
He looked like he was about to shrug again, but instead he brushed his hair out of his eyes and glanced out the window. She watched him, her gaze travelling over his pale features and the transparent cobalt of his eyes.
It wasn�t until he turned back to her, looking a little caught by her intense scrutiny, that she snapped out of her reverie and, with an embarrassed cough, turned away. �So, um,� she said, �I gotta get home. Bella�s cooking dinner tonight and god forbid I show up late, she�ll probably throw a hissy fit.�
�Don�t want that to happen,� he laughed as they made for the door. �I�ll see you later, Grace.�
She waved over her shoulder as she crossed the street. He watched her, still smiling, turning away only when she disappeared into the gas station altogether.
As he started towards Rawley he passed a parked black Porsche, from which Ryder Forrest was emerging. Seeing Ryder do a very obvious double take upon seeing him, Pagan merely sighed and kept going. Everybody mistaking him for Jake was becoming routine.
Ryder stared after the other boy�s retreating figure for another moment, looking confounded. Then, with an incredulous shake of the head, he walked into the diner, heading straight for the back booth. �Fancy seeing you here,� he drawled as he walked up to Sean McGrail, who was tucking into a double cheeseburger. �What are you, like, living here now?�
�Very funny,� Sean shook his head good-naturedly as he scooted to one side. �What�s up, Ryder?�
Ryder slid into the booth, pulling a packet of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket. �Not much.�
�A-hem,� Sean coughed meaningfully, tapping the �no smoking� sign on the wall.
Ryder eyed him with amusement. �And since when did you start caring?�
�Right about when you turned into a giant ass. Wouldn�t kill you to respect other people for once.�
�Don�t need a lecture from you, McGrail,� Ryder lit up. �Just came by to ask if you wanna hit that party tomorrow night over at Blaine�s.�
Sean raised an eyebrow. �Are we party-friends now?�
�Don�t break out the champagne yet, mate,� Ryder said dryly. �What do you say?�
�Sick of hanging out with your sister all the time?� smirked Sean, taking another wolfish bite out of his burger.
Ryder narrowed his eyes at him. �Watch it.�
�You gotta admit it�s getting kinda pathetic,� Sean smirked again. �Count me in.�
***
Main Street
Night had fallen by the time Will Krudski finished his shift. Shivering in the evening chill, he hurried from Friendly�s, wheeling his bike toward Rawley. The neighbourhood was very quiet, street lamps pooling circles of soft yellow light around his feet.
*Will�s voiceover begins*
�First dates can be tricky things. More often than not, you go on them to further some existing motive; trying to turn a simple friendship into something more, perhaps, or trying to pick up where you left off. I guess a lot of the time first dates are gateways to developments in your life, a real chance for something new.�
The air of tranquillity was quickly broken when he heard someone call his name. �Will, wait up,� called Scout Calhoun, riding up behind him. �Hey man,� he said as he braked beside Will, �going home?�
�Yeah.� Will answered, pushing off again with Scout following close behind. �You just finish your shift, too?�
Scout was a part-time cleaner at the local beauty salon. �Yeah,� he said as he caught up beside Will. �So how�s things, man?� he asked. �It feels like I never see you anymore.�
�Yeah, me too,� Will said with a low chuckle. �I don�t think I�ve seen you come up for air in the last week, getting back together with Faye and all.�
Scout smiled. �It�s been a good week.�
Will waited for him to continue, but Scout merely rode on, grinning to himself.
�That good, huh?� Will teased gently as he caught up once more, and as he said the words he could feel a vague, prickling sensation in his chest, as though he had been very slightly winded. Shaking his head with a quizzical frown, he darted a glance at Scout.
The other boy was still smiling. �We have a date tomorrow night,� he said as they rounded a bend in the road, heading toward the Rawley gates. �Our first �official� date since��
�Since you got back together,� Will finished for him. �That�s cool, man, I�m happy for you.�
�I�m happy for me,� Scout laughed. �And believe me, I can�t even remember the last time I was this happy. Everything�s just going right for once, you know? Last semester was one disaster after another, and now it just feels like things are all falling into place. You know what I mean?�
�Yeah,� said Will, offering a smile as Scout glanced over his shoulder. But as Scout looked away, the smile fell from Will�s face and he shook his head again, following Scout into the school gates and toward the dormitory lights in the distance.
He didn�t know what was wrong with him; he�d felt fine when he finished his shift. But as they stopped by the dorms, chaining their bikes to the stands, he could feel the tangible silence between them, as though he had left something unsaid.
�You all right, man?� asked Scout as he straightened, glancing quizzically at Will. �You look a little down.�
�I�m okay,� Will replied automatically, semi-surprised at Scout�s sudden perceptivity. �Just tired from my shift, I guess.�
Scout nodded. �I gotta head over to the girls� dorms,� he said with a small grin. �Hang out with the girlfriend, you know. Catch ya later?�
�Of course,� said Will, frowning again when Scout gave him a pat on the back before striding off into the darkness. �See ya, man,� he said, furrowing his brows as he watched Scout head down the lakeside path.
There seemed to be something about Scout that troubled him, though he couldn�t place a finger on it; it was like trying to recall a dream that was floating just inches from waking memory. After a few moments, he gave another, more resolute shake of the head, and headed up the stairs. The memory would come when it wanted to be found.
He was halfway to his room when he stopped abruptly, a wave of shock and panic rushing up from the pit of his stomach like the floor had been yanked out beneath him.
Scout had a faint scent lingering on him, very familiar, like blackcurrants� blackcurrants and snow.
And that, incomprehensible as it may have seemed, was precisely the thing that had sent Will into a bad mood. He knew it, too.
***
Edmund High
�God, I�m so dead,� moaned Bella Banks as she and Jake walked to school the next morning, her nose buried in a book. �I completely forgot about that stupid pop quiz. Mr. Davison should die a slow and painful death.�
�Whoa,� Jake glanced at her with a smile. �Need a little anger management, girl?�
�Well, maybe not a slow and painful death,� Bella muttered, scanning her book and nearly bumping into Sean as he caught up with them on the stairs. �I�ll be happy if he gets trapped in some hell dimension where he constantly has to take pop quizzes day in and day out. Hey Sean.�
�Hello ladies,� he drawled with a teasing grin, wrapping an arm around each girl�s shoulder. �How are we this morning?�
�Dude, you never get sick of this,� laughed Jake, wriggling from his grasp.
�And you of all people should know why that is,� he chuckled. �Cool points, man. Hanging with two hot chicks? I�m, like, the envy of the school.�
�Even if one of them is the official cross-dressing freak?� asked Jake teasingly, while at the same time Bella looked up from her book and said, �Even if one of them smells like monkey grease twenty-four-seven?�
�Monkey grease kinda smells good,� he grinned at Bella, mussing her hair affectionately. �And Jake? I swear if you repeat this to any of my guy friends I�ll have to kill you, but you were actually kinda cute as a guy.�
Jake couldn�t help a loud guffaw. �Don�t let Hamilton hear you say that.�
�I can take Ham in a fight,� Sean grinned. �You, on the other hand��
�Before you say anything else, I�ll take that as a compliment and let�s move on,� she chuckled, turning to Bella. �Stop worrying, girl. It�s just a pop quiz; think about something nicer.� She wriggled her eyebrows. �David, maybe?�
�Oh, I forgot he was coming over to see the Amnesia show,� said Sean, joining in with a meaningful look. �Long-distance relationship workin� out for ya, then?�
�Shut up, guys,� said Bella with a small laugh and a roll of the eyes. �I need to concentrate. See you later.�
�Everyone�s coupling again,� Sean said to Jake as they parted ways with Bella and continued down the hall. �Bella and David, Scout and Faye� it�s depressing, is what it is.�
�I thought you were living it up with the single life,� she glanced at him. �Aren�t you going to that party tonight?�
�Yeah,� he brightened visibly. �Ryder�s going with me. We�ll hook up, easy.�
�Not with each other, I hope,� Jake laughed. �Seriously, dude, I don�t see what you see in that guy.�
Sean spread his hands. �He�s my friend. He�s cool.�
�As far as I�m concerned, he exists purely to make my life hell,� she shrugged. �I guess we�ll just have to disagree on this one. Here�s my stop,� she paused at the door to her computer class. �See you at lunch?�
�See ya,� he departed with a grin and a wave, and she strode into the classroom.
�Great, you�re early,� said Spencer, barely glancing up from his workstation. �Take a look at this: I managed to whittle down the code by another twenty lines last night. And there�re no bugs, I ran the stress tests before you got here.�
�God, you need a life,� she teased lightly, taking a seat next to him. �Whoa,� she murmured, scanning the code. �This is�� she trailed off, glancing at him.
�Amazing. You can say it.�
�I knew you were gonna say it for me,� she said with a roll of the eyes. �Seriously, you laud yourself enough for both of us.�
�I did well and I am proud, ain�t nothing wrong with that,� he grinned as he slipped on his headphones. �If we don�t get an A-plus on this baby, I�m calling in the lawyers.�
�You�re always wearing that thing,� she said, nodding toward the headphones. �What are you listening to?�
�30 Seconds to Mars,� he said, taking off the headphones again and looking amused. �Heard of them?�
�Are you kidding?� she demanded. �I love them! Have you heard the new album?�
He looked vaguely surprised. �It�s not released for another couple of months.�
�Not if you know where to look,� she said with a glint in her eye. �Have you tried downloading from��
�Of course I�ve tried,� he said impatiently. �All the files online are dummy copies; I couldn�t get a single working version.�
�I�m not saying it�s easy,� she said, rather triumphantly. �But I managed to get the promo copy, it was on a reviewers-only site with wicked encryption, but��
�You�re good at hacking, I get it,� he interrupted, smiling. �Are you trying to prove something?�
She could feel a small blush crawling up her cheek. �I dunno what you mean.�
�You�re pissed that I nailed our assignment,� he said matter-of-factly. �And now you�re trying to prove you�re better than me at something computer related.�
�You� you�re�� she stuttered. �You�re so annoying!�
�Because I�m always right,� he chuckled. �Calm down, Jacqueline. I�ll admit I didn�t manage to download the album, encrypted or not. So,� he smiled. �Do I get to hear the new songs?�
Despite everything she couldn�t help a grin as she rolled her eyes skyward. �I�ll burn them for you tonight.�
�So,� he said after a pause, scanning the code as he spoke. �Is your boyfriend into this band?�
She glanced at him. �Dunno.�
He quirked an eyebrow, but offered no reply as he slipped on his headphones again. She stole another look at him, chewing on her lower lip as she turned toward the computer once more.
***
Rawley Academy
Faye strode down the hall, heading toward her next class. However, as she rounded a bend, she was promptly tugged into a secluded hallway. �What the�� she exclaimed, only to have the rest of her sentence cut off when Scout�s lips promptly closed over hers. Fighting a smile, she gave into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
They broke up after several long moments, and she pressed her forehead to his with a grin. �Have you been waiting here to ambush me?�
�Maybe,� he chuckled, kissing her again.
�Because you know my timetable by heart?�
He gave her earlobe a little nibble, grinning slyly. �Maybe.�
She giggled. �Stalker.�
�Maybe,� he murmured, kissing her again gently, brushing her hair away from her face.
She kissed him back before she pulled away with another laugh. �Can you say anything other than �maybe�?�
He grinned, trailing a hand down the side of her hip. �Maybe��
�Down boy,� she gave him a little push. �I gotta get to class. Save some energy for tonight.�
�That�s what I like to hear,� he grinned suggestively. �I�ve kicked Ham out of our room for the night, you know.�
�Hoping you�d get lucky?� she laughed as she walked off, waving over her shoulder.
�Something like that,� he called, chuckling.
He could hear her laughter even as she crossed the hall. With a self-satisfied smile, he, too, went on his way.
***
Rawley Boys� Academy, common room
�Scout kicked me out of our room tonight,� said Hamilton as he, Will and Michael Tan lounged on the common room couch. Flicking haphazardly through the television channels, he sighed loudly.
�I thought you hang out with Jake in the evenings anyway,� said Will, taking the remote from him. �You practically live at my mom�s place as it is these days. We�re looking to adopt you any day now.�
�Jake�s having dinner with her dad tonight,� Hamilton said, looking rather unenthused at the idea.
�Yeah, Pagan mentioned it,� Michael piped up. �Intense, huh? The dreaded reunion.�
�Does her dad even know Pagan got her kicked out of school?� asked Will.
Hamilton and Michael both shrugged.
Will raised an eyebrow, whistling through his teeth. �That�s intense all right.�
�She wanted to go,� said Hamilton, pressing both hands over his face as he fell back against the couch, sighing wearily.
�I�m sure it�ll be fine,� Will said. �It�s just dinner.�
�Yeah,� added Michael. �He doesn�t say it outright, but I think Pagan�s sorta coming around to the whole sister idea.�
�He couldn�t have figured that out before he got her kicked out of Rawley?� Hamilton mumbled.
�Are we still hung up about that?� demanded Michael, sharing an exasperated look with Will. �You gotta let it go, Hamilton.�
�Okay, okay,� Hamilton held up his hands sullenly. �So what are you guys doing tonight? Mind if I tag along?�
Michael and Will glanced at each other. �Homework, I guess,� said Michael, stifling a yawn.
�It�s a date, then,� Hamilton said. �I gotta catch up on my assignments anyway. The teachers are going all-out this semester.�
�Our friends are out tonight, dating, meeting long-lost fathers,� said Will, gloomily. �While we��
�Study,� Hamilton and Michael finished for him in unison, exchanging a sullen look.
Part Three
New Rawley, Main Street
�Do I look okay?� asked Jake nervously, smoothing down her shirt again. She and Hamilton were standing outside the gas station, with her bike leaning against one of the pumps. The sun was about to set behind them, the sky a luminescent, nacreous pink. Jake was clearly in no mood to appreciate her surroundings, however. She checked her watch again, chewing her lower lip.
�You look great, Jake,� he said, kissing her on the forehead. �And you�ll be fine. He�s the one who wants to meet you, remember?�
�I know,� she said, though her tone made it clear that she didn�t think it that much of a comfort. They turned when they heard the door open behind them, in time to see Grace and Pagan walk out of the house. Jake half-raised a hand as though in greeting, before a sudden wave of awkwardness settled over her features and she lowered it again, darting a glance at Hamilton.
Meanwhile, Pagan turned back to Grace, his face drawn. �This is so weird,� he whispered. �I can�t believe we�re actually gonna do this.�
�It�s just dinner,� she said soothingly, gazing up at him. In the fading light her hair was glowing copper, her eyes bright blue. �You�ll be fine,� she said, and she stepped forward, giving him a quick hug.
He hugged her back. She smelled faintly of flowers, and she was small and soft in his arms. When he pulled away he could feel his face burning. �Um, yeah,� he mumbled, taking a quick step back. �I�ll see you later.�
It may have been a trick of the light, but as he turned he thought he saw a flicker of disappointment in her eyes. But when he glanced over his shoulder, she merely gave a little wave, and went back inside.
�God, girls,� he muttered under his breath as he made his way to Jake and Hamilton; he was sure he was still blushing. Sticking his hands deep in his pockets, he nodded as he approached Jake. �Ready?� he asked, trying to sound casual and knowing that he must have looked anything but.
If it was any comfort, she looked every bit as freaked as he felt. �Sure,� she said shakily, with another glance back at Hamilton. He squeezed her hand quickly. �I�ll see you later,� he said, kissing her on the cheek.
She nodded, turning back to Pagan. �Let�s go,� she said, gesturing at her bike.
Despite everything else he could feel excitement rippling through him at the sight of the motorbike. A smile tugging on his lips, he put on the helmet that she handed him, and got on the passenger seat.
�Hold on to me,� she said as she kicked the ignition into life. He hesitated, for just a moment, before he obliged.
As they set off he stole a quick glance over his shoulder, at the sight of Hamilton standing there, his hands in his pockets, looking thoughtful in the light of the setting sun.
***
Ryder�s room
Ryder sat on the windowsill, smoking a cigarette and looking over the grounds below. The sun was nothing but a gold aura over the distant treetops, and the lights have been switched on over the quad. Occasionally figures crossed the grounds here and there, most of them students traversing to the dining hall.
His eyes travelled over the figures slowly, not realising what he was looking for until his gaze fell on two people crossing the grounds, heading toward the parking lot.
Josh was wrapped in a long black coat, the wind whipping his dark hair away from his face. Even from the distance Ryder can see his cheeks were bright with cold. Leah walked beside him, teetering a little in a pair of heels. Her red dreadlocks were startlingly brilliant in the fading light, and Ryder thought, rather uncharitably as he snubbed his cigarette out, that it looked like her head was on fire.
He watched them until they disappeared into the parking lot, undoubtedly heading to the pile of rust that Josh called a car. For a moment Ryder let himself wonder where they were going on this �date� of theirs, what they�d be doing, before he gave his head a violent shake and clenched his jaw. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he dialled Sean�s number.
�Hey,� he said when the other boy picked up. �It�s me. Let�s get to that party.�
***
The gas station
�I�ll get it! It�s mine!� Bella hollered as someone knocked on the front door. Thundering down the stairs and skidding over the rug, she wrenched the door open with a wide smile. �Hey!�
David Stephenson was standing out on the steps, a duffel bag thrown over one shoulder. �What�s yours, exactly?� he asked with a laugh. �The door, or me?�
�Both,� she chuckled, letting him in. �How was your trip?�
�Uneventful,� he cast a quick glance at the empty living room before he leaned over and kissed her, dropping his bag on the floor.
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him. �I missed you,� he murmured against her lips. �Missed this.�
�Me too,� she smiled, kissing him again before pulling back. �How long can you stay for?�
�I don�t have class on Monday, so I won�t have to leave until Monday afternoon.� He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. �We�ve got the whole weekend together. I can�t wait to see you guys play tomorrow at the fundraiser. You nervous?�
�It�s gonna be a big crowd,� she said. �I mean, I�ve played here before, but that was just at parties and stuff; this is kinda a big deal. I just can�t believe it � this time last year I went to that show, you know? And now I�m gonna be up there playing to the crowd? It�s insane.�
�You�ll be great,� he smiled, taking her by the hand. �I know it.�
�I�m glad you think so, Mr. Stoic Supporter,� she giggled, pulling him in for another kiss.
***
Rawley Boys� Academy, common room
�All right,� Will announced as he settled down in the couch. �First thing on the agenda: the algebra assignment.�
�Yay,� said Hamilton, his tone completely devoid of enthusiasm. �Can�t get any better than algebra.�
�Please,� Michael rolled his eyes from his seat on the floor. �Math is cake. I�ve got a two thousand word essay due on Shakespeare in three days and I have no clue what I�m even writing about.�
�That�s why the study session is a good idea,� said Will, sounding a little too perky for his own good. �We can help each other with this stuff. Come on, it�ll be fun! We�ll get work done.�
Michael and Hamilton shared a Look. Before either could say anything, however, a derisive laugh came from the open doorway. �Oh, that�s beyond pathetic, William,� said Ryder, leaning against the doorframe. �Even for you. Extolling the rapture in studying now, are we?�
�And this coming from a guy who had to repeat the tenth grade,� Will replied crisply. �I guess we differ on our definitions of �pathetic�, Ryder.�
�Whatever,� Ryder rolled his eyes, �I�ve got a party to go to. I hear everyone in town�s gonna be hitting it tonight, not that it�d matter to you losers. See you around.�
�I hope not,� said Hamilton loudly to the other boy�s retreating back. Ryder merely laughed and went on his way.
�Jerk,� muttered Hamilton, looking back down at his assignment.
�I�ll say,� said Michael, while Will nodded vehemently in agreement.
They fell into silence, leafing through their respective homework, though none of them seemed to be putting pen to paper.
After a few moments, Michael cleared his throat. �Maybe we are a little pathetic,� he said tentatively. �I mean, it�s a Friday night.�
�And we�re doing maths,� Hamilton drawled, snapping his book shut. �As much as it hurts me to agree with Ryder, I gotta say there�s got to be something we�d rather be doing.�
Will sighed, closing his textbook with an expectant look.
�I know Finn and Ms. Bradford are on a date tonight,� said Michael, brightening. �I overheard them making plans. They�re staying in and cooking. We could go spy on them.�
Will and Hamilton stared at him, their expressions one of mingled incredulity and disgust. �Are you twelve?� Hamilton asked.
�Just trying to come up with ideas,� Michael said, looking defensive.
�Well, as tempting as voyeurism sounds,� said Will dryly, �I�m gonna pass. Is there anything we can do that doesn�t involve watching other people get it on?�
�There�s always that party Ryder mentioned,� Hamilton smirked. �Although I don�t think it�d meet your requirement.�
Will looked a little put out. �So it�s either watching random people making out in dark corners, or maths?�
�Your call,� said Hamilton, leaning back against the couch with a drawn-out sigh. �You guys know I�m just going with the flow tonight.�
�Counting the hours until Jake gets back,� Will said, rolling his eyes. �Believe me, we know. Come on, let�s go check out the party. We need to get you off your ass.�
�And maybe get the chance to grab some girl�s ass,� Michael piped up as they got to their feet. �Never know. Tonight might be my lucky night.�
Will groaned as he and Hamilton shared another weirded-out glance. �I swear, you�re the strangest kid I�ve ever met.�
***
Scout and Hamilton�s room
�This is nice,� said Faye, hugging her knees to her chest.
She and Scout were camped out in the middle of the room on a picnic blanket, with an array of food spread around them and George looking on from inside his terrarium atop Scout�s desk. The main light was off, with only Scout�s bedside lamp lending a soft glow to the romantic atmosphere.
�Yeah,� he murmured, leaning in close to brush a strand of hair from her neck. �It is.�
�Don�t do that,� she giggled, moving away from him. �It tickles.�
He wrapped an arm around her waist. �You�re not getting away that easily.�
�Oh yeah?� she grinned, turning back toward him. �Why not?�
�I won�t let you.�
�Is that right?� she murmured, kissing him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. A moment later she pulled back, running a hand through her hair. �Hey,� she said, a little self-consciously. �I was� I�m kinda wondering��
He raised an eyebrow. �Yeah?�
She looked like she was fighting a frown. �I mean, it�s not a big deal, but I just wanted to know, you know? And it�s not like it�ll affect things either way, but��
�What is it?�
She glanced down, toying with her hands. �I�m just wondering��
�This so isn�t like you, Faye,� he said after a moment, with a nervous grin. �You�re freakin� me out here. Whatever it is, just say it.�
�Okay, okay,� she held up her hands. �I just wanted to know� when we weren�t� together, was there anyone else? I mean�� she glanced away uncomfortably. �Did you� date anyone else, or��
He blinked slowly, looking somewhat confounded by the question.
�Like I said, it really doesn�t matter,� she said in a hurry. �I just wanna know, you know?�
�Faye Archer,� he said, a small smirk crawling up his face. �Could it be that you�re jealous?�
�That�s what I�m asking,� she said, looking back at him. �Is there anyone to be jealous of? I mean, did you ever, I dunno, go out with Paige or��
He placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer, kissing her quickly before he pulled back. �No one.�
Her taut expression relaxed into a smile. �Really?�
�Really,� he said firmly. �Why would I want anyone else?�
She blushed, glancing down.
�Since when did you get hung up on things like that, anyway?� he pulled her closer, letting her perch in his lap. �It�s always been you. It�s not like you don�t know that. Unless,� he leaned back, looking suddenly alarmed. �Did you� I mean, was there someone� for you? After we broke up? In Paris?�
�Wouldn�t you like to know,� she giggled, kissing him on the forehead.
�Hey, that�s not fair!� he exclaimed. �I told you mine.�
�Only cos there�s nothing to tell,� she grinned.
�So you�re saying there was someone in Paris?� he asked, his face falling.
She gazed at him, her expression cryptic, and he looked back, forcing a smile. �Hey,� he said, shrugging. �I asked. And after all, you broke up with me, so I guess it makes sense��
She didn�t answer, and a moment later he looked away. �Did you have fun?� he asked softly. �Was it� serious?�
�Does it matter?�
He bit his lower lip. �I guess not.�
A small grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. �Really?�
�Really,� he said, turning back to her with a tentative smile. �I�ve got you now, right? That�s what matters.�
She kissed him gently, brushing his hair away from his forehead. He kissed her back, hugging her closer. �This is what matters,� he repeated, pressing his forehead to hers. �This. Right here. Everything else I can deal with.�
�That�s good to know,� she murmured, kissing him again before she drew back, a mischievous light in her eyes. �And by the way? There wasn�t anyone in Paris. Or back here. Or anywhere. There was nobody except for you.�
�Why didn�t you just say so?� he demanded, looking flustered.
�Where�s the fun in that?� she asked coyly, leaning forward to kiss him once more. �I guess I wanted to see how you scored in the whole �keeping your jealousy in check� department.�
�Oh yeah? And how did I do?�
�Passed with flying colours,� she murmured against his lips, smiling.
�And�� he grinned suggestively. �Do I get a reward?�
She toyed with his shirt button, chuckling low in her throat. �Yeah, I�d say you do.�
***
Carson: the Pazza Luna
The waitress showed Pagan and Jake to their table at the corner of the restaurant, leaving them with a couple of menus and a pitcher of water. Pagan pulled out Jake�s seat for her before taking a seat for himself, and the gesture was so startlingly familiar that she chuckled despite herself.
�What�s so funny?� he asked, looking perplexed.
�Oh, nothing,� she smiled. �I just remembered my first date with Hamilton here. It was a disaster. He kept trying to be a gentleman.�
�And�� he frowned. �That� obviously� offended you?�
She shrugged. �I think it�s a bit arcane, is all.�
He raised an eyebrow. �Arcane?�
�You know,� she poured herself a glass of water. �Old-fashioned.�
He hid a smile. �I think you mean archaic.�
After a moment of thought, she also poured a glass of water for him. �Huh?�
��Arcane� means mysterious. �Archaic� means old-fashioned. Thanks,� he took the offered drink with a smile.
�Oh,� she looked put out for a moment. �No one ever told me.�
He tilted his head, looking pleased with himself, and she couldn�t help chuckling. �Hey,� she said, �your clothes� they�re different these days.�
�Yeah.� He looked down at his long-sleeved shirt and distressed jeans. �I let Grace dress me. Uh,� he glanced up, looking sheepish. �Not literally.�
�It suits you,� she said lightly. After a moment she couldn�t help adding, �So you and Grace are, like� um��
�Oh!� he exclaimed, his eyes widening. �No! I mean� not yet� uh,� he looked down at his hands, a tide of red sweeping across the tops of his cheekbones. �I dunno.�
She couldn�t help laughing at his very obvious discomfort. �But you want to?�
He was by now a very profound shade of scarlet. �Is it that obvious?� he asked, his voice an embarrassed whisper.
She chuckled. �I don�t think so. I guess� maybe I should just know these things, since I�m your��
She stopped suddenly, her gaze flickering away for a moment before they met each other�s eyes. He stared back, his embarrassment seemingly forgotten. For a moment he looked as though he wanted to say something, but he gave a small shake of the head and lowered his gaze.
�Well,� she said, clearing her throat and looking away again. �Yeah. You know.�
He didn�t reply. Or perhaps he simply didn�t get a chance to, as the sound of approaching footsteps made them look up.
Simon Leigh was being shown to their table. �Hello,� he said awkwardly, extending a hand toward Jake as she got to her feet. Halfway there, however, he seemed to change his mind and instead opened his arms as though he wanted to give her a hug. She paused, taken aback, but just as she stepped forward he seemed to think better of it and re-extended his hand. She shook it, both of them smiling self-consciously as they resumed their seats. Pagan glanced from one to the other, looking as though he didn�t know whether to laugh or grimace at the awkward exchange.
***
New Rawley: restaurant
�He was cool,� Josh said emphatically as he and Leah got shown to their seats. �I�m glad they didn�t kill him off at the end.�
�Cool?� she frowned as they sat down. �He was awfully creepy.�
�That�s what�s cool about him,� he grinned, opening the menu. �I love this guy. And didn�t you just love the score?�
�With the accordions?� she laughed. �It was pretty interesting, but come on, I�ll take guitars over accordions any day.�
�Now you�re talking.� He looked up from the menu. �So, what kind of music are you into?�
�You know, the usual.� She shrugged. �Radiohead. Oasis. The whole Britpop thing.�
�Radiohead kinda missed the wagon on Britpop,� he smiled. �Busy trying to break America when the whole Oasis-Blur war went on.�
�Just as well they didn�t burn themselves out,� she chuckled. �So are you ready for the show tomorrow?�
�A subtle shifting of topics,� he teased lightly, raising an eyebrow.
She blushed, giving him a small shrug.
He grinned back. �It�s just a gig, nothing major. We�ve got it covered.�
�That�s awesome,� she said enthusiastically. �I can�t wait. I loved the fundraiser show last year. That was about when you enrolled at Rawley, wasn�t it?�
�Good call.� he contemplated her thoughtfully. �You know, I don�t think you�ve ever missed a gig we�ve had in New Rawley.�
The blush was growing more prominent. �I like your music, is all,� she said, sounding a little defensive.
�Don�t get me wrong,� he chuckled. �I think it�s awesome. It�s just I�ve never, you know, dated someone who�s into the band so much.�
�Is it gonna be weird?� she asked, glancing up at him.
He smiled, and as he looked away from her there was a hint of melancholy in his eyes. �I guess we�ll see.�
Part Four
New Rawley
The party was already underway when Will, Hamilton and Michael showed up. �Do you even know whose party this is?� Michael yelled over the din as they made for the punch bowl.
�Blaine Clarke,� Will answered. �I used to go to grade school with him.�
�Not that you exactly need to know whose house it is at one of these things,� Hamilton pointed out absently, his attention already captured by a throng of people over by the window. �Hey guys,� he said as he walked off, �I gotta��
Michael and Will exchanged a quizzical look as he left them without even bothering to finish the sentence. �What�s up with him?� asked Michael, pouring himself a glass of punch.
�Beats me,� Will shrugged, throwing another glance at Hamilton over his shoulder. The other boy was approaching the crowd lounging by the windowsill.
They seemed to be Edmund kids, whom Hamilton didn�t recognise. Most of them had paper cups of beer in hand, and a couple were smoking something that smelled suspiciously unlike cigarettes. There was one boy in a black leather jacket who was standing at the edge of the group, listening to the others� conversations with a vaguely amused smile. He turned as Hamilton tapped him on the shoulder, raising an eyebrow.
�Hey,� Hamilton said. �Spencer, right? We met yesterday.�
�Oh, yeah,� Spencer flashed a quick smile. �You�re Jacqueline�s boyfriend. You here with her?�
�Nah, she�s got something else on. And my name�s Hamilton, by the way.�
�Hamilton, all right,� Spencer said with another vague smile, darting a glance at the others, who didn�t seem like they were paying attention. �You go to Rawley?�
�Yeah,� Hamilton replied. And after a pause he added, �Me and Jake go way back.�
�I kinda gathered that,� Spencer said mildly, looking askance at him as he took a sip of beer.
�Yeah� well.�
There was an awkward beat, and Spencer raised an eyebrow. �You okay, man?� he asked, the smile still playing about his lips.
�Yeah, why wouldn�t I be?� Hamilton replied, crossing his arms over his chest. �I just, you know, came over to say hi. Now I�m gonna�� he pointed toward the beer keg, �you know.�
�Get a drink,� Spencer finished for him, smiling again.
�That�s right,� Hamilton said, staring at Spencer a moment longer before he turned abruptly. �Well� bye.�
�See you around,� Spencer called after him. And lazily, almost as an afterthought, he added, �Say hi to Jacqueline for me.�
Striding away with a faint blush spreading across his face, Hamilton narrowed his eyes.
***
Pazza Luna
�I liked the calamari sticks,� said Simon Leigh as he, Jake and Pagan rinsed their hands in the finger bowls after the entr�e. �The sauce had a good kick to it.�
�Yeah, too much kick,� Pagan croaked out. He grabbed his water goblet and took a couple of hasty gulps, looking a little nauseated. �God, dad, your taste buds must be so dead.�
�Jacqueline liked it,� Simon said, sounding simultaneously defensive and smug as he glanced at Jake. �Right?�
�It was pretty delicious,� she grinned, raising her eyebrows at Pagan.
He rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his cup. �Great, I�m sitting with two freaks of nature.�
�You know it,� Simon laughed out loud as he leaned back to let the waitress clear their table. �So how are you finding school, Pagan? Settling back in fine?�
�It�s all right,� Pagan shrugged. �School�s school.�
�Yeah?� Simon looked at him. �You doing okay? I worry about you sometimes. You�re not used to going to school with all these other kids��
�Seriously, dad,� Pagan interrupted, looking a little embarrassed. �It�s fine. I�m fine. Rawley�s cool.�
�That�s good to hear,� Simon said, his concerned expression relaxing into a smile. �And what about you, Jacqueline? Still at Rawley Girls�?�
Pagan�s eyes widened as he darted a glance at Jake. She caught his startled expression and bit her lip, looking down quickly. Girls� Academy or not, it was after all his fault that she was no longer at Rawley. �Um�� she said slowly, stalling for time. �Actually��
Simon looked expectant as he leaned forward, the picture of sincere curiosity. Jake chewed on her lip again. �Um��
�Actually,� Pagan said quietly. �Jacqueline�s not at Rawley anymore. Uh, she� I mean,� he took a deep breath. �I mean at the end of last semester, I��
�I decided to change schools,� Jake suddenly interrupted, lifting her head. She didn�t look at Pagan. �The past few years I sorta� changed schools a lot. Rawley was getting a little� predictable, so I decided to switch to the local high school to be with some of my friends.�
�Oh,� Simon said, looking a little taken aback. �Wouldn�t that affect your chances of getting into a good college?�
Still not looking at Pagan, Jake shrugged. �I think I�ll be okay.�
�All right,� Simon said, dubiously, glancing at his son.
But Pagan was staring at Jake, the look in his eyes half surprised, half grateful.
***
New Rawley: party
Ryder leaned against the back wall, eyeing the crowds with disinterest as he lit up, barely glancing over as a scantily-clad girl sidled up, placing a hand on his shoulder. �What are you doing here all alone, handsome?� she purred. �I�ve been watching you all night. I�ve heard a lot about you, Ryder Forrest.�
�Is that right,� he said, matter-of-factly.
�Big with the cool guy act, are we? Wanna come dance with me?�
He contemplated his cigarette. �No thanks.�
�Not much of a dancer, huh?� she tossed her hair over one shoulder, looking up at him salaciously. �We can work around that.�
He finally turned toward her, his eyes travelling over her youthful face, the expanse of smooth skin accentuated by her skimpy top. His expression was inscrutable.
�What do you say?� she murmured. �How about we head on upstairs? We can� talk.�
He gazed at her for a moment longer, his lips finally curving up in his trademark lazy smirk. She smiled back at him, confidently, running one hand down his arm.
�Maybe another time, luv,� he said, exhaling a thin plume of smoke.
She stared at him. �What?�
�Not tonight,� he said, turning away. �All right? I�m not your guy.�
She shot him a venomous look as she whirled around and stalked off, jostling past Sean as he walked up. �Whoa, dude,� he exclaimed. �What did you just do? Shoot down that total hottie?�
�She wasn�t that hot,� Ryder said dismissively, striding toward the door. �Come on, let�s split. This party�s dead.�
�Are you sure we were looking at the same girl?� Sean demanded, chasing after the other boy. �In fact, are you sure we�re at the same party? It�s rocking, man; where the hell are you going?�
�Home,� Ryder said without further elaboration, stepping out onto the street. �Are you coming or not?�
�But we just got here,� Sean said, perplexed.
Ryder stopped at his Porsche and finally turned around, his eyes looking almost black in the dim light. �I�m over it,� he said. �This whole party scene? I�m over it. Once you bag one of these girls you�ve bagged them all, wouldn�t you say?�
�I guess�� said Sean dubiously. �But dude��
�I�m over it,� Ryder repeated, throwing his cigarette butt onto the ground and stepping on it with more vehemence than necessary. �Are you coming or not?�
�But we just got here!� exclaimed Sean, exasperated. �And I thought we were out to have a good time, man!�
�I changed my mind,� Ryder said flatly. �Like I said, I�m over it.�
�When did that happen, in the fifteen minutes between when you walked in that door and when you walked out again?�
�Pretty much,� said Ryder, sliding into the driver�s seat. �Aren�t you sick of it, Sean? It�s all meaningless. It�s all fucking meaningless.�
�Since when did you care about meaning, Ryder?� Sean demanded. �Since when did you turn down beautiful women? God, you sound like� you sound like��
He stopped suddenly, staring at Ryder. �God, I know what this is about,� he muttered. �It�s him, isn�t it? You�ve completely lost it, man. You�re totally in��
�Finish that sentence,� Ryder interrupted, his eyes narrowing, �and I swear to god you won�t be seeing any action, with anyone, for a long time.�
Sean stared back for only a moment before a smirk stole over his face. �Whatever, man,� he said. �I think it�s kinda� you know, sweet.�
�Are you asking to be punched in the face?�
�Whatever, dude,� Sean laughed, holding up his hands and backing away. �I�m goin� back to the party. I�ll grab a ride home with someone else. You have fun with� whatever you�re doing.�
�I�m not doing anything!� Ryder called after him, furiously. �Why the hell would you think I�m doing anything? I�m going home to sleep, you plonker!�
Sean merely waved over his shoulder as he went, chuckling to himself.
***
New Rawley: restaurant
�You�re kidding,� Leah laughed. �That�s what you called your band at the start?�
�We thought it was the coolest band name in the world,� Josh laughed, burying his face in his hands. �But of course we were very very stoned, and as it later turned out, we realised we had to make a name of ourselves with that� well, name; and suddenly �The Earthly Garden of Cannabis and Gay Sex� didn�t seem all that appropriate anymore.�
Leah was laughing so hard that she was tearing up. �I�ll say. So what made you decide on �Amnesia�?�
Josh was still laughing, but for a brief moment a shadow crossed his face, too quickly for Leah to notice. �Forgetting about stuff seemed like a seductive option, too,� he said with another shrug. A pause, and he smiled brightly. �So, Leah, you�ve been sitting here listening to me talk shop for the whole evening. Let�s talk about you for a change.�
�Oh, let�s not,� she giggled. �There�s no way I can top The Earthly Garden of Cannabis and Gay Sex.�
�We�ll see about that,� he raised an eyebrow playfully. �I feel like I know nothing about you. What do you like doing in your spare time? What�s your favourite movie? Stuff like that.�
�I like everything,� she shrugged. �You know. The usual. Don�t really do favourites.�
�Come on. There must be some stuff that you like better than others.�
�I have pretty broad tastes,� she shrugged.
He gazed at her with a small smile. �Did you like Glitter?�
�Okay, I wouldn�t go that far,� she chuckled.
He waited expectantly, but she looked back at him with wide eyes. �Tell me more about Amnesia,� she said, with enthusiasm. �I wanna hear about how you guys recorded the EP over summer vacation.�
�Come on, Leah.� His smile was a little forced. �Don�t you wanna talk about something else? I feel like we�ve been talking about Amnesia all evening.�
�Well,� she grinned mischievously. �It�s your fault for being in such an awesome band.�
�Flattery will get you everywhere,� he chuckled, but as he looked down, there was a flash of disappointment in his eyes.
***
The gas station
�I�m sorry we don�t have anything better than this,� said Bella as she helped David fold open the couch in the living room. �I keep saying to dad we need a spare room, cos god knows I�ve had enough living with Gracie all these years, but somehow we just never got around to it.�
�I like couches,� he answered with a grin. �Reminds me of good old freshman year. I had the roommate from hell, so half the time I ended up crashing on my friend�s futon.�
�Good to know you�re used to it,� she laughed. �Makes me feel less guilty.�
�Yeah.� He sat down on the couch, adjusting his glasses.
She watched him for a moment, chewing on her lip. �Hey,� she said softly, sitting down beside him. �Can I ask you a question?�
He glanced at her. �Shoot.�
She inhaled deeply, and exhaled again. �What are we, David?�
He gave her a small smile. �Are we having �that� conversation already?�
She looked at him. �Don�t you think it�s time?�
�I thought you were the one who wasn�t ready to talk about it,� he said, taking one of her hands in his. �I didn�t want to push it.�
�I know I�ve been kinda slow. About us.� She looked down. �I just didn�t wanna rush into something, you know?�
�I get that.� He gave her a small smile.
�But I think I�m ready now,� she smiled back at him. �You know, to fully commit to this thing. Trying to make this - whatever this is - work. I mean, long-distance relationship, whatever� I�m prepared to give that a go.�
�I�ve been waiting to hear that,� he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again.
She kissed him back softly, her lips curving into a smile.
***
Scout and Hamilton�s room
�This,� said Faye. �Is heaven.�
She and Scout lay in his bed, bodies pressed close together lest one of them should fall off the side. Hugging the sheets closer to her chest, she sighed happily, nuzzling into his shoulder.
�Yeah, it is,� he replied softly, kissing her on the top of the head. �And you know what? For me, this is happiness.�
�Well, good,� she glanced up at him. �I�d hate for it to be your unhappiness.�
�That�s not what I meant,� he chuckled, kissing her again. �And you know it. I just meant� it�s right here, you know? Happiness. We�re soaking in it.�
She gazed at him, her eyes slightly misty. �Yeah.�
�All the time you�re living your life, and you feel happy, and you think, �this is the start of happiness.� You think that true happiness is just around the corner and once you turn that corner everything�s gonna be good forever.� He ran his forefinger down the length of her arm; her skin was smooth, like sun-warmed marble. �But once you start thinking like that it never gets here. I figured that out. I understand that this is happiness. It isn�t around the corner; it�s right here.�
�Wow. Aren�t we Mr. Philosophical Wanker today?�
�Laugh all you want,� he kissed her again. �You know I�m right.�
At length she said, very quietly, the look in her eyes soft and affected, �Yeah, I do.�
He hugged her closer, as though he wanted to crush her into him. �Hey,� he said suddenly. �You�re graduating soon.�
�Another few months,� she said, biting her lip.
�And then you�re doing that internship in New York, and then going off to college, and I�m stuck here for another year,� he said in a low voice, his eyes growing dull. �Then what, Faye? Can we keep doing this?�
She looked up at him again, the look in her eyes equal measures amusement and reassurance. �You really have any doubt?�
He shrugged. �I just worry.�
�Don�t worry, baby,� she murmured, placing a hand on his cheek. �We�ll work it out. I could travel to New Rawley every couple of weeks, and you could come visit me at the dorms too, sleep over sometimes.� She grinned. �You�ll be the envy of all the high school guys, visiting your sophisticated college girlfriend.�
He couldn�t help laughing. �Speaking of sleeping over, we gotta figure out a better way to do this than kicking Hamilton out all night.�
�Yeah, that was real nice of you,� she giggled. �Not that I�m complaining.�
�As much as I like Hamilton,� he brushed his lips over her forehead. �He doesn�t exactly compare to you. If it�s a toss-up, then��
�You choose the sex over the roommate,� she laughed. �Fair call.�
�That�s what I�m sayin�,� he grinned, kissing her again.
***
New Rawley: the party
�Come on,� said Michael incredulously. �You�re saying that if you had a good chance of getting laid tonight, except that your roommate is in the way, you wouldn�t kick him out?�
�Well�� Will pondered the question, taking another gulp of warm beer. �I dunno.�
�Mr. Moral Highground strikes again,� Michael rolled his eyes, getting himself another drink from the increasingly empty keg. �Hell, I�d kick Hamilton out in a heartbeat.�
Will laughed. �At least you�re honest.�
�What�s he doing, anyway?� asked Michael, craning his neck to see the other side of the room. �Who�s that guy he�s hanging around?�
�Spencer Harrison,� said Will in mild surprise. �I didn�t know Hamilton knew him.�
�You obviously do.�
�Not well,� Will took another swig of beer. �The guy didn�t really hang out with anyone in school.�
�So what is he, loner? Nerd?� Michael offered helpfully. �Oh, I know. Hippy mother who dressed him up in tie-dyed shirts and scared off any potential friends?�
�No, I just meant most of his friends aren�t in high school,� Will gestured toward the crowd by the window. �Dropouts, some of them. A couple�s in art school, and a couple�s at the community college in Carson.�
�Ah,� Michael nodded knowingly. �Stoners.�
�I wouldn�t say that either,� Will laughed. �At least, can�t say for sure. What�s with you and giving everyone labels, anyway? Obsessive-compulsive need to categorise?�
�Obsessive-compulsive need to figure out where I stand in the social pecking order,� Michael deadpanned without missing a beat. �Gotta know if my sparkly Barbie hi-tops are still gonna be trendy with the in-crowd this year.�
�Good to know.� Will drained his cup and went to get another.
�So anyway,� Michael contemplated his own beer. �You think Scout and Faye are, like, finished by now?�
Will gave him a semi-horrified look. �What�s with the voyeurism act, Michael? You�re freaking me out.�
�Believe me,� Michael laughed. �It�s not an act. Come on, it�s just a question.�
�I�m not sure I�m comfortable with this line of questioning,� Will said with a small shudder.
�I was just wondering if Hamilton�ll get to sleep in his own bed tonight.�
�And that would affect you how?�
Michael glanced at him, looking just a tad tipsy. �I�ll tell you, if you promise not to tell anyone.�
�Oh, this can�t end well,� Will groaned, downing the rest of his cup in one gulp.
�I think Faye�s hot,� Michael grinned as though he were letting Will on some giant secret. �And I mean really hot. Damn smart too. And funny.�
�You have a crush on her,� Will said after a moment of silence, staring down into his empty cup.
�Duh,� Michael grinned again. �Don�t worry, I�m not pining; I�m just hoping Scout knows what a lucky bastard he is.�
�Yeah,� Will murmured. �I hope so too.�
�Listen, I gotta use the bathroom,� Michael patted him on the back as he walked toward the stairs. �See you in a bit, man.�
Will nodded, but did not say anything. Nor did he look up as Michael disappeared into the thick of the crowd. He merely continued gazing at the bottom of his empty cup, the look in his eyes alternating between calm realisation and horrified shock.
�Oh,� he murmured. �This is so inconvenient.�
Part Five
Pazza Luna
�Thanks for dinner,� said Jake as she, Pagan and Simon stepped out of the restaurant. �It was� really nice, talking to you.�
�It was my pleasure,� Simon said, his gaze solemn as he extended a hand.
She looked down at the proffered hand, chewing on her lip for a moment before she stepped forward and hugged him instead, quickly, looking semi-surprised at herself for doing it. After a stunned second he hugged her back, his expression caught between shock and relief. �Let�s do this again sometime,� he said as she drew back, hopefully.
�Yeah,� she gave him a faint smile. �That�d be� nice.�
Pagan looked from his father, to Jake, and back again. �It�s good to see you again, dad,� he said.
�You too,� Simon gave him a light punch on the shoulder. �So you guys are headed back to school?�
Jake nodded, gesturing toward her bike.
�Well, drive safe,� he gave them another smile. �And I�ll see you later. Both of you.�
They watched as he headed toward the parking lot, still looking over his shoulder as he waved goodbye.
�Thanks for covering for me,� Pagan said after a moment of silence. �Earlier. About the whole kicking you out of school thing.�
�He didn�t need to know.�
He glanced at her. �Thanks anyway. I appreciate it.�
She nodded as she unlocked her bike and tossed him a helmet. �Hey,� she said, almost as an afterthought. �My friends � the guys from Amnesia � are having this video screening thing tomorrow. At Bella�s house. Do you� maybe wanna come?�
He smiled as he got on behind her. �I wouldn�t wanna crash.�
�They won�t mind. Plus, Grace�d be there since it�s her house.�
�All right,� he smiled again. �I�m in.�
She returned the smile over her shoulder before she revved the engine. In a cloud of dust they sped away from the restaurant, heading back toward New Rawley.
***
Rawley Girls� Academy
�Thanks for a nice evening, Josh,� Leah said as they walked back to the dormitory. The spring night still held a definite chill, and as they made their way down the lakeside path they both stuck their hands in their coat pockets, hunched over from the cold.
�Thanks for accompanying me,� he answered, with a brief, measured look in her direction as though he wanted to say something else. He didn�t, however, and they arrived at the girls� dorms in silence.
�So,� she said as she turned on the steps. �Is it just me, or did you go awfully quiet sometime during the evening?�
He gave her a faint smile. �Sorry.�
�Nah, it�s okay,� she shrugged, sitting down on the stone steps and hugging her knees to her chest. �I dunno what I expected.�
After a moment�s thought he sat down next to her. �It�s not that I didn�t have fun��
�Please,� she shook her head with a little roll of the eyes. �Let�s just say I felt less awkward after we�d slept together. I guess we�re just not cut out for the dating thing.�
He sighed. �I�m sorry.�
She glanced at him. �It�s not your fault. You didn�t know I was gonna go all obsessed groupie on you.�
He cracked a smile. �You noticed too, huh?�
�It�s� kinda strange,� she said after a pause. �I was a fan of Amnesia for so long and then suddenly I�m hanging out with you guys and talking to you and finding out what you�re like, and I dunno when it was that I stopped seeing you as �the guy from Amnesia� and actually as you, Josh. And��
�Were you disappointed?� he asked, looking suddenly withdrawn. �Because I�m not the person who you thought I was?�
Slowly, she turned to face him. He didn�t meet her eyes.
�You�re a person, Josh,� she said. �I don�t think I can ever understand that enough, with all the pictures I have of you in my head.�
He nodded, still not looking up.
�You need someone who understands you as you really are,� she said quietly. �And I guess I�m not that person, even though I�d like to be. Badly.�
He smiled faintly. �Ain�t that always the way.�
�Damn straight,� she gave a low chuckle, getting to her feet. �Thanks for walking me back.�
�Hey,� he jumped up and gave her a quick hug. �You still coming to the video screening tomorrow, right?�
�Of course,� she tossed a smile over her shoulder. �I�ll see you tomorrow.�
Long after she disappeared into the dorms, he remained outside, gazing up at the gibbous moon, the faint silver light glinting off his eyes.
***
New Rawley: Susan Krudski�s house
Jake cut the engine as she rode onto the driveway, cruising into the garage lest she disturb the other inhabitants of the house. Checking her watch, she locked up the garage door and strode over to the house, getting her key out as she went.
She was so intent on finding her house key in the dim light that she didn�t see Hamilton on the porch until she nearly collided with him. �Oh my god!� she exclaimed. �Give me a heart attack or something!�
�Sorry,� he giggled, coming out into the moonlight. His eyes were very bright, and his cheeks were flushed. �How was dinner? Where�s Pagan?�
�Good� and I dropped him off at Rawley. Are you drunk?�
�Just a little,� he grinned, grabbing her by the waist. �There was this party in town and Will and Michael and me didn�t wanna sit around studying, so we went, and there was lots and lots of beer��
�Yeah, I get how parties work,� she said, sounding simultaneously puzzled and amused. �What are you doing here?�
�Waiting for you,� he kissed her softly. �Waiting to hear how your night went.�
�You didn�t have to wait out here,� she said, a little touched. �I was gonna call you.�
�Well, I wanted to see you,� he smiled, kissing her again. �And tell you I love you.�
�I love you too,� she grinned. �Even when you�re drunk and acting kinda weird. What�s up, Hamilton?�
�Why, you need another reason?� he chuckled. ��I love you� isn�t gonna cut it anymore?�
�You�re just kinda� confusing tonight,� she said truthfully. �Not that I mind, but yeah, it�s a little strange.�
He looked down for a moment, his expression suddenly serious. �Look,� he said quietly. �Here�s the thing. I was at that party tonight, and� I went and talked to that Spencer guy.�
She raised her eyebrows. �And?�
�And that�s it,� he shrugged. �We talked. He�s kind of a jerk.�
�I could have told you that,� she said, rolling her eyes. �God, what is it with guys? I can�t stand him, okay? I don�t get where this is coming from.�
�I don�t know, either,� he shrugged, looking away. �I just don�t like seeing you with him.�
She stared at him, her expression growing taut. �I don�t think that�s exactly your concern, Hamilton.�
�No, I didn�t mean�� he sighed. �I�m not trying to forbid you to see him or something��
�Good,� she said, her tone decidedly cool. �Because I really don�t think that�s your call.�
�Look, you know that�s not what I mean,� he said, a little exasperated. �I just worry about you with that guy. I don�t trust him.�
She didn�t look mollified. �I can take care of myself, Hamilton,� she said quietly. �How many times do I have to tell you before you�ll believe me? We�re just doing this project together, it�s not like I�m letting him in on my personal life.�
�I know, I know,� he sighed again. �Look, I didn�t come here to piss you off. I just wanted to know how the dinner went with your dad and say good night and I love you and I didn�t mean to make you angry��
�I�m not angry,� she said, softening. �And I love you too. I just� you know I don�t like it when you try to take over. I�ve always taken care of myself, Hamilton; me living here now, going to Edmund, that�s not gonna change anything.�
�I know,� he nodded, pressing his forehead to hers. �I�m sorry. I�ll try to stop. I know you can handle yourself; a lot better than me anyway.�
�But thank you for coming over,� she kissed him. �I mean it. It was really sweet. And I had a good time at dinner; it wasn�t that awkward and� and I think things are going really well. That�s something, right?�
�It is,� he smiled against her lips. �Definitely.�
***
The gas station
�Okay, here we go.�
�I don�t see anything. Is it working?�
�Hold on� okay, now it should work��
�Somebody pull the curtains, I can�t see anything with the sun on the screen.�
�I�ve got it� is that better?�
�Yeah, thanks. Hey, pass the popcorn��
�Shh, it�s starting!�
�Sorry. Just wanted my snacks, you know.�
�Shut up! Some of us are trying to watch this thing!�
An image flickered to life onscreen as sombre guitar notes faded in. It was a still frame, of a dark-haired girl standing beside Rawley Lake, staring across the glimmering water. She was clad in a thin silver dress, her feet bare on the grass still damp with morning dew.
�That�s Lydia,� Grace whispered to Pagan, quickly glancing around the roomful of people at the screening. �One of David�s friends. She was freezing her ass off the day they shot all this.� A pause, and she added tentatively. �That was the day we met, too.�
He gave her a sideways smile as vocals kicked in on the audio track. Quickly, they turned their full attention back to the video.
I�ve seven moons for seven seas
Won�t let them get the better of me
Nor pass me by, nor pass me by
My seven fears have fears of me
They�ll take their leave eventually
Well they can try, yeah they can try
She stared down at her rippling reflection, her expression vacant and forlorn. Slowly, she took a step back, then another, before she turned her back on the water and walked on. The camera lingered on the empty frame for a moment, taking in the pale morning sky, the water silver-gilt under the early sun.
My love was strong, for now is gone
Eleven stories up from the second floor
She said love not worn is a love not done
You let me know
Now talk down the girl, talk down the girl
Her feet were nearly translucent, her veins showing up a bare hint of blue beneath the porcelain skin. Step after step they went, the hem of her dress dragging over the wet grass. She didn�t seem to notice.
A couple of short cuts later she was traversing down Main Street of New Rawley, lifting her face to the sun. The street was deserted, and she walked down the centre of the road, step after step, gazing at the surrounding shops and empty windows, as though she were looking for something in particular and, at the same time, for nothing at all. In the background, the music swelled into a melancholy chorus.
Still little known is known to me
So little colour left to see but black and white
Just black and white
A silhouette at seventeen
If they can find what�s left of me
Burnt the fire, burn in the fire
She pressed a palm up against the window of the diner, and peered inside. There were people there; a lot of people, in fact, talking amongst themselves. A few were laughing. None of them looked outside.
The camera held the frame, slowly zooming in to capture the look on her face, which was soft, wild, filled with a sort of inchoate longing. She stared at the people inside the diner, her hand still pressed against the glass, hard, as though she had wanted to punch a hole through it. Still, none of them caught sight of her. She flickered, as though she were a holographic image, and as she turned away she started to fade away, the edges of her form blurring against the clear sun.
My love was strong, for now is gone
Eleven stories up from the second floor
She said love not worn is a love not done
You let me know
Now talk down the girl, talk down the girl
Across the road, then, to see what was on the other side. The gas station came into view, a bleached, grainy version of it at least, looking simultaneously more real and somehow more dreamlike because of the added austerity. She stepped up, she and her silver dress with the dark damp hem, up to the plate-glass window, and she looked inside.
Amnesia was playing in the living room. Alex in the corner behind his drum kit, Emily half-perched on the couch with the bass guitar, and Bella leaning against an amp on the other side. Josh stood at the centre of the room, his Fender Jag slung low across his hips as he leaned into a microphone and, as she watched, continued to sing.
There�s little more for us to say
You�ve made your mind up anyway
Another world, in other words
And I hate to leave you here this way
Yet I can�t think why you should stay now
I miss my girl, I miss my girl
The video was shot some time ago; his hair was longer and obscured most of his face. There was a haunted look in his eyes, a self-evident fragility reminiscent of his slide into desolation. Faye withdrew her gaze from the TV for a moment, glancing back at him. He caught the look and gave her a smile, reaching over to take her hand. She gave his fingers a brief squeeze.
My love was strong, for now is gone
Eleven stories up from the second floor
A love not worn is a love not done
You let me know
Now talk down the girl, talk down the girl
His eyes were closed as he sang the chorus, and she stared at him through the window, shivering slightly. The look in her eyes was more tangible now, desperate, as though she was hoping for any sort of contact at all. She was almost completely transparent, a mere shadow pressed against the windowpane.
The music grew to an impassioned crescendo, and he opened his eyes. For a moment he remained still, gazing at the window, the whisper of a girl standing on the outside looking in. The band played on, but he abandoned his microphone and stepped toward her, the expression on his face half curiosity and half disbelief.
She looked back at him, and her eyes were brimming with tears.
Love will talk down the girl, talk down the girl
I�ll still talk down the girl, talk down the girl
Love will talk down the girl
Talk down the girl
He reached out, and his fingers touched the windowpane, pressing against her hand on the other side. For a moment it seemed as though they could reach through this cold divide, and find something to hold onto on the other side. Then she flickered, her eyes full of sorrow, and faded out of sight altogether.
He stared at the empty space before him, his hand still lingering against the glass. A pause, and the song ended, the scene fading slowly to black.
***
Leaving the others inside the house, chattering excitedly over the video and congratulating David on a job well done, Ryder quietly slipped out the door, lighting up a smoke as he went.
Once outside, he leaned against the wall and inhaled deeply on the cigarette, closing his eyes against the early afternoon sun. It was yet another clear spring day, and the air was laced with the faint scent of freshly mown grass.
In all honesty, he didn�t even know why he had come. Ostensibly he had shown up because Faye had asked him to, but�
He exhaled, watching the smoke trail out before him and running a hand through his messy hair. Beside him, there was the sound of the door opening and closing again, and then footsteps. He didn�t have to look to know who it was.
�Bum a cigarette?� Josh asked, coming to stand beside him.
Ryder handed him one without looking. �What happened to your brilliant plan of avoiding me?�
�Not really feasible in a town as small as this,� Josh said with a slight smile, taking Ryder�s proffered lighter.
�I liked the vid,� Ryder said after a pause, watching Josh light up.
�David did a good job. Not exactly the most commercially viable thing we could have done, though. It�s not cut out to be a single. Too slow, too artsy.�
�Maybe you�ll appeal to the underground,� Ryder glanced at him with a quirk of the lip. �Be a cult band.�
Josh cracked a smile. �Yeah.�
�Well,� Ryder looked disinterestedly inside the house. �I�m gonna head back. Good luck with that fundraising thing tonight.�
�Are you coming?�
Ryder paused, glancing quickly at Josh. �Maybe,� he said. �If I have nothing else on.�
Josh nodded, watching Ryder turn away, his expression slightly wounded.
�The date with Leah,� he began, looking surprised at himself for speaking. �Last night.�
Ryder stopped, but did not turn around.
�It didn�t exactly go spectacularly,� Josh said, casting his gaze firmly on the ground. �Well, it sucked, more or less. And before you ask, I don�t know what I plan to achieve, telling you this. I just�� he sighed. �I thought you might like to know.�
With his back turned, Ryder clenched his eyes shut, exhaling quietly.
�Well,� he said finally, his voice cracking a little. �I don�t. It�s none of my business.�
Josh stared at him, a hint of colour flaring across the tops of his cheekbones. �You�re right,� he said after a moment. �I don�t know why I did.�
Ryder gave a curt nod and strode away. Behind him, Josh dropped his gaze, tossing his unfinished cigarette on the ground.
***
Back inside the gas station, the atmosphere had settled into that of an impromptu party. Bella and David were sitting by the counter, deep in conversation with Alex and Emily over the finer points of video production. Pagan and Jake were talking, much to the apparent surprise of Grace and Hamilton, who sat beside their respective friends looking rather perplexed. The others were lounging around the TV, where the video was playing for the third time, the sound muted down to faint background music. Leah was the only one who was still paying avid attention, looking mesmerised from her seat about three inches from the set.
�I�m gonna get a drink,� Scout said to Faye, kissing her on the cheek as he got up from the couch. �You want anything?�
�Orange juice would be good,� she smiled at him.
He gave a small salute. �Will?�
Will, who had been quiet the whole morning, gave a start and looked up. �What? Oh, um, no thanks.�
Scout nodded and headed into the kitchen, ruffling Faye�s hair as he went. She swatted his hand away, laughing. Will watched out of the corner of his eye, looking suddenly a bit ill.
�You all right?� she turned to him. �You�ve been awfully low-key today.�
He managed a weak smile. �I�m fine.�
�Too much to drink at the party last night?�
He burst into nervous laughter. It was only when she raised her eyebrows that he trailed off, looking even more nauseated. �Sorry,� he said. �I thought that was a joke.�
�Because alcohol is always hilarious,� she said, deadpan. �What gives, Will? You�re all� wonky.�
�No, no wonkiness,� he said quickly. �Just� I�m just fine.�
�Girl problems?� she asked knowingly.
He jumped at the remark, his head jerking up as though he were a string puppet.
She grinned. �Girl problems it is. Come on, let�s hear it.�
�No!� he exclaimed, his voice charged with panic. �Um, I mean, there�s no girl problem.�
�Come on, Will,� she said in a singsong voice. �Local agony aunt at your service��
�She trying to give you advice again, man?� Scout asked, setting a glass of orange juice down beside Faye.
�Yeah,� Will said with an air of relief. �Please, make her stop.�
�Stop?� asked Scout with a grin as he kissed Faye on the cheek and sat back down. �Dude, I think you�re forgetting who you�re talking to.�
�I love my Mr. Fix-it,� Faye giggled, shifting herself so she could perch on Scout�s lap. �So come on, spill. Who�s the lucky chick?�
�You two are impossible,� Will groaned, falling back against the couch.
�That�s why we�re so good together,� Scout said with another grin, glancing at Faye.
�Perfect fit,� she said, kissing him quickly. He pulled her in for another, longer kiss.
�Yeah, perfect,� Will said under his breath, turning away. Scout and Faye merely grinned at each other, their expressions one of identical mischief.
Meanwhile, Josh had made his way back into the room, and seeing Jake begin to pack up the TV cables and the laptop, sauntered over, sticking his hands in his pockets. �Hey,� he said.
She glanced up, looking a little surprised to see him there. �Oh, hey.�
�So, um, thanks for doing this,� he gestured at the AV equipment. �We really appreciate it.�
She gave him a small smile. �Don�t mention it.�
�So, uh,� he glanced at Hamilton, who had joined Leah in rewatching the video. �How are things with you?�
�Good,� she answered lightly. �I�m living with Will�s mom now.�
�Yeah, I heard.� A pause, and he glanced at her, licking his lips nervously. �Hey, um� I�m sorry we haven�t talked before now. You know, since��
�It�s not your fault,� she said quickly. �I mean, I probably deserved it, after what I put everybody through.�
�You had your reasons,� he said, looking a little awkward. �Everybody always does. I�m just sorry we were so freaked out by the whole thing that we kinda� shut you and Hamilton out. And that was wrong of us. I mean, the whole point of REACH was to not do that, you know? Not judge on these kinds of issues��
�I lied to you,� she interrupted quietly. �I lied to everybody. I understand why you guys did what you did. It�s not about me being a girl. I get that.�
He was silent for a moment before he looked up with a smile. �But we�re cool, right? We�re good?�
�Yeah.� She returned the smile. �We are.�
Part Six
Edmund High: football field
�Hey,� Will said as he found Bella in the backstage area of the annual paediatric cancer fundraiser. The raucous sounds of the performing band trickled through to backstage, making him shout just to be heard. �Just came by to say good luck and have a good show.�
�Thanks,� she smiled at him, struggling to tie a length of black ribbon around her neck. �If I don�t manage to choke myself to death with this thing first��
�You need a hand with that?� he asked, grinning.
�Please,� she sighed with relief, handing the ribbon over. �Josh came up with the brilliant idea of going back to the band�s goth roots tonight.�
�Yeah, I saw,� he chuckled, glancing over his shoulder at the rest of the band, standing not far away and tuning their respective instruments. �He�s kinda hard to miss in that dress.�
She laughed out loud. �I have no idea how many of those he actually owns. Did you know I actually borrowed this,� she indicated her own outfit, �from him? That�s just wrong on so many levels.�
�I never thought I�d say this, but you look good as a goth,� he smiled, tying the ribbon behind her neck.
�Yeah?� she grinned, turning a little to see the others in the band. With the sole exception of Alex, all band members were wearing short black dresses, opaque tights and lace-up boots, and even Alex could not escape the fate of donning copious amounts of eyeliner and black nail polish. Josh, as usual, looked completely at home in the getup, at least much more so than Bella, who kept trying to tug down her hem another inch or two. �Thanks for the vote of confidence,� she said shakily. �I don�t feel so good. It�s a big crowd out there tonight.�
�You�ll be fine,� he said. �I can�t wait to see you perform. You�re singing too, right?�
�Just one song at the end.�
�Mmm-hmm.� A pause, and he said tentatively, �Can I ask you something?�
�Sure. What is it?�
�You know, when we were�� he cleared his throat. �I mean, the whole �us� thing last year� do you regret it?�
�What?� She turned, upsetting the ribbon that he hadn�t quite managed to tie. �Where did this come from?�
�I�ve just been thinking,� he said, dropping his gaze. �Everything we went through, all the pain we put Scout and Sean through. And in the end we didn�t even manage to stay together. Does that make you feel guilty at all? Do you wonder what things would�ve been like if we�d just� held things in check?�
She stared at him. �I guess I never really thought about it like that.�
�I wish it worked out better, Bella,� he said quietly. �I still remember Scout being mad at me for three or four months. He wouldn�t even be in the same room as me. I can�t handle that.�
�Will, I�m confused,� she said. �Why are you talking about this now? We�ve moved on; everyone�s moved on. I�m with David now, and you and Scout are friends again. And think of it this way, if you and I didn�t get together, then he might never have gotten together with Faye and look how happy they are now��
He shivered, almost imperceptibly. �Yes,� he said, his voice wooden. �They are.�
�Are you okay?� she asked. �What brought this on?�
�It�s nothing,� he said, picking up the ribbon again. �I just wondered.�
She opened her mouth, but could not find anything to say. Silently he finished tying the ribbon in a bow on the back of her neck, and he turned her around. �All done,� he said, his tone subdued. �You look great.�
�Will,� she said, biting her lower lip. �I have a confession to make. The song I�m singing tonight? It�s� it�s about you. I wasn�t gonna tell you, but�� she looked down with a wry smile. �Since we�re talking about it anyway.�
He gazed at her, his expression one of mixed nostalgia and regret. �What does it say?�
She swallowed, shrugging. �Just the ways you� you made me feel. Toward the end. Trying to figure out if it was worth it.�
His gaze was grave. �And� was it?�
�I think love is always worth fighting for,� she answered after a moment, meeting his eyes.
He drew a shaky intake of breath, a wave of sadness settling over his features. �It�s easy enough in theory,� he said, turning away.
She frowned, staring at his retreating back. But before she could say anything else, she could hear wild applause burst out from the stage area, and the previous band came running backstage. �Time, Bella!� called Josh, picking up his guitar. Behind him, Emily and Alex exchanged their usual pre-gig high-five.
She gazed after Will for another second before she shook her head and joined her bandmates, trying to push his tortured expression to the back of her mind.
***
�Who are you looking for?� asked Jake as she caught sight of Hamilton craning his neck to catch glimpses of the crowd. The football field was jam-packed, probably even more so than the year before, since the fundraiser concert had built up on publicity, and people were spilling out onto the streets. She recognised many faces from Rawley and Edmund, and during the course of the night there had been no shortage of double-takes either from various kids who�d previously known her as a guy.
�Huh? No one,� he replied absently, positioning himself behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. But as she turned back to the stage with a quizzical smile, he craned his neck again, furrowing his brows.
His gaze finally fell on a small group standing near the side speakers, Spencer Harrison among them. Narrowing his eyes slightly, Hamilton hugged Jake tighter, planting a kiss on the back of her neck for good measure. Spencer, however, was too far away to notice.
�And I know you�ve been waiting patiently for our final band tonight,� announced the MC onstage amidst a fresh round of cheers. �So without further ado, here�s Amnesia!�
Faye, having pushed to the very front of the crowd barrier, gave a piercing whistle that made Josh wince as he took his place at the microphone. �Thanks for that, Tinkerbell,� he chuckled, shaking his head as he slung his guitar from his hip, strumming a couple of experimental chords.
�You know,� Scout yelled in Faye�s ear, �you never told me what the deal is with this Tinkerbell thing!�
�You can find out on my deathbed,� she laughed. �And not before.�
He shook his head, amused, as the band began to play. The song was another new one, with a brief intro on slide guitar, backed by the hollow sound of tom drums. With only the sparse melody line behind him, Josh�s vocals entered without further preamble.
Stood alone on the porch looking over
Fields with my brandy hand
Sometimes I run, sometimes I limp
Sometimes I�m just thinking of you
Got a little excited but that�s okay
Cos everybody�s looking for love
Got a little exciting but that�s okay
Cos everybody�s looking for love
The rest of the band kicked in with bass and rhythm guitars, the tempo picking up for a rousing chorus.
At the very back of the football field, Ryder stood on the fringe of the crowd with a cigarette in one hand. His gaze had not moved from Josh since Amnesia took to the stage, and as he watched the slender figure in the short black dress lean in toward the microphone, he didn�t seem to realise that there was a knowing - even indulgent - smile playing about his lips.
You wanted respect
Then you�re acting like a child on the introspect
Hiding on the wall side, on the dark side of the bed
You�re playing in wigs now, all dressed in gold
That�s no polish, it�s the life I�m told
These are the weapons of the war
The music slowed, returning to another quiet verse. Josh gazed out at the football field, as though he could be looking for someone � or something. Ryder didn�t think about what it was that he could be looking for.
At any rate, he was standing too far for Josh to see.
You�re laced in a candy shame
Do you have a handle on your pain?
Cos I am here to celebrate your life now
I�m here to be your friend now
Yeah I�m your friend
It was times like these that Ryder finally got what he wanted; something that was as close to reality as he could manage. It was times like these that he got to look at Josh, really look at him, without interruption or the need for words, or the need for something further, the need for change.
He knew it wasn�t what Josh wanted; he knew that in the long run it wasn�t going to be enough. But for now, it would have to do.
You wanted respect
Then you�re acting like a child on the introspect
Hiding on the wall side, on the dark side of the bed
You�re playing in wigs now
You�re all dressed in gold
That�s no polish, it�s the life I�m told
These are the weapons of the war�
***
Amnesia�s set was drawing to a close. Onstage, Josh and Bella were conversing quickly as she strapped on an acoustic guitar, ready to sing for the night�s finale.
�I talked to David,� Grace shouted in Pagan�s ear as they waited in the thick of the crowd. �He promised me I could be in Amnesia�s next video � if he makes another one for them.�
�That�s awesome!� he shouted back, grinning.
She beamed at him. �Come on,� she yelled. �Let�s get closer.�
He stared, a sudden blush flaring over his pale face. �Huh?�
�I wanna be up close for Bella�s song!� she yelled, and without another word she grabbed his hand and led him through the throngs of people, pushing their way to the front. He let himself be dragged along, looking simultaneously sheepish and a little let down.
They arrived at the crowd barrier just in time to see Bella step up to the microphone. �Um, hi,� she said with a bashful smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
A round of cheers answered, making her blush. �This is gonna be our last song,� she said. �It�s a song I�ve written, and��
�Go Bella!� shrieked Grace from her vantage point up front, grinning up at her sister. �WHOO!�
�Thanks for that, Grace,� Bella chuckled, rolling her eyes affectionately. �Anyway� here�s the song. It�s called Spinning a Line. We are Amnesia, and we hope you enjoyed our show.�
She glanced expectantly at the others, who gave quick nods. Bella turned back to the microphone, taking a deep breath and beginning to strum a mellow, pretty tune.
Pagan could help noticing, with a blush and a secret smile as Bella began to sing, that Grace still hadn�t let go of his hand.
This room seems so much bigger from outside
And this heart is not as cold as it was light
You can�t see it
This day has grown longer in my sight
And this night, it is not long enough to hide
You can�t see it
You won�t believe it
Bella scanned the crowd as she sang, looking for Will. She didn�t see him, but her gaze settled on David, who was leaning against the crowd barrier, nodding his head to the beat. As he caught her eye he gave her a little wink, and she couldn�t help grinning back.
I�m spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
Spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
This day has grown longer in my sight
And this night, it is not long enough to hide
You can�t see it
You take so much more than I can give
And I failed to be enough for you to live
You can�t see it
You won�t believe it
�Hey guys!� Grace exclaimed happily as Jake and Hamilton edged through the crowd and came up behind them. �Good show, huh?�
�She�s awesome,� grinned Hamilton, giving Bella a rock & roll salute. She grinned back at him as she sang, looking confident and luminous under the stage lights.
Meanwhile, Jake and Pagan shared a tentative smile. �Hey,� he said, leaning close in order to be heard over the music. �My dad called this afternoon. He was wondering if we could, you know, do that dinner thing again sometime?�
She gazed at him, and he looked back with a shy smile. Shrugging, he added, �I had fun too.�
A smile spread across her features and impulsively, she reached over and gave him a quick hug. For a moment he froze, looking like he didn�t know what the hell was happening; but a second later he hugged her back, awkwardly, the expression in his eyes one of mingled surprise and contentment.
I�m spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
Spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
You have won
You are so much more than me
And you�ve become
More than I could hope to be
You can�t see, you won�t believe it
�Hey!� Sean called as he walked toward Ryder on the outer rim of the field. �Didn�t know you were coming. Why are you standing so far away? Come enjoy the show.�
�I�m good here.� Ryder gave a small shake of the head. �Gotta leave soon anyway.�
Sean gazed at him, a knowing smirk hanging from his lips. He turned back to the stage without saying anything more, lifting his chin thoughtfully as he watched Josh step forward to play the lilting solo during the instrumental bridge. The sound of slide guitar reverberated through the air, lending the atmosphere a sense of mixed nostalgia and hope.
I�m spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
Spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
�Happy?� Scout whispered in Faye�s ear, clutching her close to him as they swayed to the music.
�So happy,� she whispered back, kissing him softly.
Spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
Spinning a line, I�m spinning a line
Will stood alone in the middle of the crowd, letting the music wash over him, listening to the lyrics that were written for him, trying to understand the meanings it carried and the underlying current of feelings long gone.
He was trying to remember what it was like, once upon a time.
*Will�s voiceover begins*
�First dates often mean a change is coming, for better or worse. They let you have a taste of what is to come, and help you make your decisions based on your experience. Not all first dates work out; they can be sweet or awkward, fantastic or disastrous. The trick is to know how a first date might open the floodgates on an aspect of your life. Like always, we think we should be ready for the changes, but when they happen they still manage to take us by surprise.�
The crowd parted slightly, and he could just make out the figures of Scout and Faye up near the front. He still had his arms wrapped around her, his chin on her shoulder, and her head was half-turned, pressing her cheek against his. Despite the sea of people around them, the loud music, they seemed perfectly still; Will could swear that they were almost glowing.
Biting down hard on his lip, he turned away.
You oughta know by now it�s true
You oughta know by now it�s true�
