Author's note: Thanks for waiting patiently during the break! I�m really going to try to up my productivity, and hopefully I�ll finish writing episode 504 before the end of the year � that�s the goal, anyway.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to all the people who offered words of encouragement during my time off, your patience and kindness is what keeps me writing.
Part 1 Teaser - Failure�s �Stuck on You� begins with the opening fade in* (in consequent scenes this song looks like it�s being performed by Amnesia)
Airport outside Boston
It was late morning, and the airport was crowded with people scurrying hither and thither, catching planes or seeing off loved ones, the occasional face looking lost in the crowd.
Generous sheets of sunlight spilled through the large square glass windows, covering all these people with a pale gold mist � those who come and go, those who flit silent and rushed to their next destination, those who are tangled in the linearity of time � but most, in doing what they�re so frantically doing� living� do not notice.
At a pick-up location, a wide black transistor belt whirred, bringing forth baggage for the people who had just come off a flight from France. Most of the luggage had been picked up already, and the remaining items were scattered around the belt, lethargically making their winding way until they could be hauled off by the few people still loitering around the belt, waiting for their last suitcase or bag.
An innocuous black backpack was one such item, and as it travelled around the bend, a hand grasped its handle and lifted it up, its owner striding quickly away from the belt and into the waiting area. The hand was thin and white, the nails lacquered with unkempt black nail polish.
As he walked, Josh Sutherland looked upon the sunlight that lay in bright squares across the large hallway, and smiled at the sight.
I heard you driving in my car
Then in a frozen bar
I claimed I didn�t care for you
But your verse got trapped inside my head
Over and over again
You played yourself to death in me
He strode up to Faye Archer and Ryder Forrest, who were waiting impatiently some distance away. Faye was wearing an ankle-length black coat, her hair cropped and white-blonde; Ryder�s darker blond haircut looked as though it had been shorter but had grown out, and it was by now unkempt and tousled. He fixed his grey-blue gaze on Josh, who was also wearing a black coat that reached below his knees, making him look even more diminutive than usual. Josh, holding the backpack in one hand, smiled at his friends, brushed stray strands of black hair off his face, and raised his eyebrows.
The others nodded, and the three of them turned, walking down the hallway, shoulder-to-shoulder. Josh glanced at Faye as they strode along, the two exchanging a smile.
***
New Rawley, Ball Park
Whack! The baseball bat made a clean collision with the oncoming ball and sent it soaring. Sean McGrail tossed the bat down as he began to sprint toward first base, sunlight glinting off his hair.
Bella and Grace Banks, as spectators in the crowded stands, jumped up and cheered as the ball flew into the air, further than anyone could reach on the outer field. Without even looking at Sean�s progress around the diamond, it was clear that he�d just hit a run that would send two of his teammates, not to mention himself, safely home.
I thought I�d drop you easily
But that was not to be
You burrowed like a summer tick
So you invade my sleep and confuse my dreams
Turn my nights to sleepless itch
***
An Apartment in New York
Hamilton Fleming lounged lazily at the kitchen counter, enjoying the warm sun-drenched atmosphere and at the same time attacking a heaped breakfast tray. He took a huge bite of scrambled eggs on toast, chewing and swallowing quickly to flash a charming smile at the matronly Latina who was pan-frying bacon behind the stove. Consuela smiled back, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her young houseguest, whom she had already decided was her personal favourite.
Jacqueline Pratt, still in pyjamas and dark hair sticking up in all angles, half-climbed, half-stumbled down the stairs. After being handed her ration of breakfast identical to Hamilton�s, she sat down beside him, the two exchanging a brief good morning kiss.
Stuck on you, �til the end of time
I�m too tired to fight your rhyme
Stuck on you �til the end
You�ve got me paralysed
***
Saint Martin, Hotel
The sun cast bright rays on the water in the Olympic-sized hotel pool, some light filtering through to the clear blue depths and some glancing off the dappled surface. Will Krudski looked up from his comfortable seat by the water as his friend Scout Calhoun scurried past with a tray of drinks, sidestepping a couple of middle-aged women on lounge chairs. With a polite smile, he set the drinks down beside a couple of guys his age, who were busy readjusting their designer sunglasses against the light. The guys eyed him, disdainfully, and carelessly flung a few bills onto the tray. Scout smiled again, pocketed the tip, and walked quickly back to the bar, grinning at Will as he passed.
Will chuckled and looked back at the guys who were now sipping at their tropical fruit punch, without a clue that they were just served by a boy whose family and fortune was more prominent than that which they�ll ever receive from their own fathers. But that was the way things were: some people simply were an embodiment � an extension, in living flesh � of their family trust funds and age-old mansions; and others, though they could have been, were not.
Shaking his head, Will returned to his journal, chewing on his pen.
***
New York, the Pratts� apartment
Holding on the telephone
I hear your midrange moan
You�re everywhere inside my room
Even when I�m alone
I hear your mellow drone
You�re everywhere inside of me
The dim light from outside suggested that the time was evening. Inside the spacious bedroom, Jake scurried around, clad only in black underwear. Hamilton lounged on the bed with a smile, following her every move with his eyes and clearly enjoying the view.
She found what she was looking for at the bottom of the closet. Triumphantly, she emerged with her starched white binder in hand. He watched as she quickly fastened the thing around her chest, checking in the mirror to see if it still fitted. Slipping into a pair of loose cargo pants, a short-sleeved shirt layered over a long-sleeved one, and parting her hair down the middle, she turned to him with a tentative smile.
He grinned, giving her a thumbs-up before hopping off the bed to kiss her passionately on the mouth. She smiled against his lips, steering him conspicuously back toward the bed.
***
Boston, a smallish club
The blackboard outside the club announced the performers to be Amnesia, a local four-piece rock band. Inside, it was crowded and a great deal many people, surely more than the floor was supposed to hold, were jammed onto the dance floor. Faye flailed about enthusiastically in the front row. Josh, lead guitarist and vocalist, could just make out her smiling face from behind the blinding stage lights. He grinned at his friend, hearing the music fall back into the anthemic chorus. He kicked his effects pedal and overlaid the wall of sound with a simple guitar riff, leaned into the microphone, and smiled as he sang.
Stuck on you, �til the end of time
I�m too tired to fight your rhyme
Stuck on you, �til the end of time
You got me trapped inside
Ryder Forrest stood behind the crowd, leaning against the bar with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Like somebody straight out of a 40s film, he seemed to blend into the smoky darkness, his eyes intent upon the stage, the band, and their petite frontman.
If anybody had been watching him through the 50-minute set, they would have been surprised to realise that he never took his eyes off the androgynous singer, a small wistful smile flickering at corners of his lips. His gaze never left Josh, not even during the breaks between songs, not once.
***
New Rawley
Will and Scout, suntanned and looking a great deal better for wear than they did at the end of Summer Session, jumped from the bus that was pulling to a stop by the curb. Laughing and chatting, they made their way to the gas station, where they promptly found Sean and Bella outside, clearing out some of the junk scattered around the yard. Calling out, they greeted their friends and took turns hugging Bella, whom they hadn�t talked to in a long while, seeing that they�d left just as she returned from Carson a few weeks ago.
Scout glanced at Will as the strawberry-blond boy enveloped Bella in a giant embrace. Over their vacation in the Caribbean, the two of them had fortified their friendship. One of the things that Will had admitted to worrying about, was the strange situation that he and Bella seemed to find themselves in now. Having broken up halfway through Summer Session and Bella leaving shortly afterward, he wasn�t sure if they could still be counted as �friends�, and he was anxious about being uncomfortable around her. But as Scout watched the two hug and fall to chatting with Sean with obvious ease, he had to smile: looked like Will was overanalysing, again.
He didn�t expect it either, to be fair. The Bella that he knew in the summer was so drained, so lifeless that it was hard to think of her as comfortable in anybody�s presence anymore. However, something was definitely different about her now � not in the way she looked, because she look the same as always, with long blonde hair and a creamy, glowing complexion; but she simply felt different. It seemed as though her trip, taken for whatever reason, did her a world of good. And he was glad for that, glad to see that his friends all seemed to have found a better place for themselves in the world.
As for himself it was no different. He had worked hard over the three weeks away from Rawley, determined to become more mature and responsible. He only hoped that once school was back, he would continue this way and � well, it was all for a goal, wasn�t it? Project Fall Semester: get his ex-girlfriend back together with him. One hell of a task, but bring it on.
He grinned to himself, and joined in the conversation, slapping Sean good-naturedly on the back.
***
Jake�s black motorbike took a screeching turn off the highway, and swerved into the small road leading to Rawley Academy. Stopping at the gates, Jake undid her helmet and turned around to smile at Hamilton, who was for once happily residing on the �bitch pad�. He leaned in, and engaged her in a slow kiss.
I can�t escape your incessant whine
When you beam it out
All across the sky
No, I can�t escape your insipid rhyme
When you shoot it deep
Straight into my mind�
Part 2
*opening credits and theme song*
Rawley Academy
It was a morning in the late summer, the day before Fall Semester was due to start. The leaves have not yet started turning, and the warm, languid temperature made it impossible to think that fall was just around the corner.
Thanks to the Banks family, Will was able to leave his belongings at the gas station, packed away in cardboard boxes. As he carried them up the stairs, staggering into the dorm room he shared with Ryder, he could not help a wry smile. How many times had he done this by now? Imagine that, moving in and out of Rawley Academy was becoming mundane to Willie Krudski from the sticks.
*Will�s voiceover begins*
�It sometimes surprises me to think about how involved we are � with events, organisations, people, even the world. Being involved can come in many forms: with school, with work, with goals and expectations and relationships. Some people want to jump straight into the centre of the action, while other people hang around the edges, wary and unwilling to get entangled. Even when we don�t want to get involved, we often find that we are, and can only try to make the best of the situation.�
His good mood was tainted when he saw that his roommate has evidently already returned, scattering his belongings around the room in such a haphazard fashion that Will wasn�t even sure which bed belonged to him. Deciding that it was Ryder�s own fault for not staking out a spot prominently, he shoved a half-open suitcase off the bed by the window, spilling Armani silk shirts all over the floor. He stared at the clothes for a moment, feeling slightly guilty and wondered if he should pick them up. Then, remembering exactly how much effort it was to room with Ryder, decided that the blond Brit deserved all he got. He set his cartons down, kicked Ryder�s stuff to his side of the room, and went about settling in.
He was plugging in his laptop when Finn poked his head into the room, �Krudski.�
�Hi,� Will grinned, straightening up, �come in.�
The teacher obliged, �Had a good vacation?�
�Yeah, just relaxing by the Caribbean,� Will smiled, �as you do.�
�As you do.� Finn chuckled, �It�s awfully nice of Scout�s parents to treat you to the trip.�
�Yeah,� Will replied, beginning to unpack another box, �I thanked them profusely over the phone. I wanted to do it in person, but they were so busy they couldn�t make time for the annual Calhoun family trip. Scout was pretty gutted.�
�That�s too bad,� Finn sympathised. Though, being a live-in teacher at the most elite private school in the country, this sort of thing was hardly a surprising occurrence. �So, any big plans for this semester?�
Will glanced at him with a knowing grin, �You mean if I have yet another wonderful but brazen idea that�s going to turn me into the psycho slave-driving bastard we have all come to know and loathe?�
�Would�ve put it differently, myself,� Finn grinned, �but you got the gist of it.�
�Nope,� Will announced, �I�m going to be Joe average this year. Study, friends, work, crew, that sort of thing. No more added responsibility. Although��
Finn sighed inwardly, �What is it this time?�
�Oh, it�s just,� Will smiled, �you know how the New York Times takes in summer clerks? The applications close near the end of this semester, so��
�You�re thinking of applying?� Finn grinned, �Good for you. I was going to suggest it but it looks like you�re more in the loop than I am.�
�Wonders of the internet, huh?� Will winked, �Hey� I�d really appreciate it if you could write my recommendation letter.�
Finn smiled, �Of course.�
�And I hope there are some students who are looking for tutors?� Will asked tentatively.
�Yeah,� Finn half-turned, gesturing down the hall, �I�ve got the sign-up book back in my office, why don�t you drop by later?�
�Sure, and thanks.� Will said gratefully. Finn grinned and walked out into the hallway. On the way back to the office he passed Jake and Hamilton, who were trudging along with their cartons of belongings. Jake offered a cheerful �hey, Finn� while Hamilton managed a small nod. His grudge against Finn, having reached its heights earlier this year, was fading, but he remembered it. Discovering that your mother�s affair wasn�t exactly something that could be easily forgotten.
Nevertheless, he was committed to not dwelling too much on the past nowadays. Not when his life seemed pretty good, anyway. He glanced at his girlfriend and smiled.
Jake, on the other hand, was not smiling. �What the hell�� she muttered, looking down the Main Hall.
Hamilton furrowed his brows, and looked in the direction in which she was staring. His jaw fell open at the sight.
The hallway, lined with noticeboards for student use, was entirely covered in posters. Or, to be exact, covered in what seemed like millions of copies of the same poster: very loud, very colourful, and entirely familiar.
All of these posters advertised one thing.
REACH. The Rawley Effort Against Conventional Heterosexuality.
�Well�� Jake uttered after a pregnant pause, �I guess we know who�s back at school��
�Hey guys!� A cheerful voice interrupted, �come help me put these posters up!�
�Speak of the devil.� Hamilton muttered as they turned around and came face to face with Josh, whose tiny frame was all but crushed under the weight of a huge stack of REACH posters that he was carrying. The boy had a manic glint in his eyes, �I�ve been taping up posters ever since I arrived.�
�We can tell,� Jake said dryly. �Uh� Josh? Don�t you think we have enough up already?�
�It�s all about publicity, people,� Josh thrust a stack of posters at her, and dumped the rest of them into the arms of one confounded Hamilton. �All right, I�ve done my share,� the androgyne said in a huge rush, �be good little darlings and put these up around the girls� campus, will you? I�m thinking of throwing some lesbians into the mix. Anyway,� he checked his watch, �I�ve got to speak to Finn about setting up a Clubs Day, to show the new kids what REACH is up to. I was thinking of dressing up, you know, a mini Rawley Mardi Gras type thing? And I was talking with some of the people from schools in Boston and we might end up doing something together sometime� Gotta run, so much to do before classes start�� In true Continental style, he hurriedly kissed the air three inches away from Jake�s cheek, then the other side, and moved onto Hamilton. The taller boy stepped back in alarm, �Whoa��
Josh took no notice and scampered off, calling over his shoulder, �First meeting today at four, same place, both of you�d better be there, and try to recruit some people in the meantime�� He disappeared around the bend, leaving Jake and Hamilton gape-mouthed and staring at the empty stretch of hallway, where cartoon clouds seemed to dissipate.
She turned back to him and raised her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes skyward, �That�s it, he�s officially gone insane.�
***
Josh had indeed spent the whole morning tacking up posters. He was so into it, in fact, that he had dumped his stuff in his new dorm room and didn�t head back until after lunch. As he walked briskly down the hall he was mentally counting the things that he had to do before classes started in a couple of days� time � it struck everyone as crazy that he was so involved this early in the term, but he knew that he had to keep himself preoccupied somehow. There were a lot of things that crept up which he didn�t particularly want to think about.
He walked into his room with plans big and small swirling around his brain, and didn�t even notice that somebody else was in the room until the other boy spoke tentatively, �� hey.�
Josh looked up and felt his heart skip a beat, �What are you doing here?�
Malcolm Harding smiled, a little sadly, at the reflexive questioning, �I live here.�
�I didn�t mean to sound�� Josh began to say, contrite, but quickly fell into silence when Malcolm looked at him and shook his head with another pensive smile. He never needed to hear explanations like these: the thought was enough.
They stared at each other for a few moments before Malcolm moved his gaze down to the floor. �So...� he said softly, �how was your trip?�
�It was good,� Josh said automatically, his mind reeling at the implications of having to share a dorm room with his ex-boyfriend. �How was� uh, the rest of your summer?�
Malcolm glanced up at him, his gaze steady but melancholic. By not replying he somehow managed to say more than he could have, ever, in words.
***
Edmund High
�Hey!� Bella swooped down beside Sean at his lunch table. �How are you?�
�Decent,� he mumbled through a mouthful of chicken sandwich, and swallowed. �What�s up with you?� he asked, eyeing her radiant expression with equal parts suspicion and amusement.
�I never noticed how many cool clubs and teams we had around here!� She exclaimed happily, stealing an apple off his lunch tray. Polishing the shiny fruit with her shirtsleeve, she grinned, �I�m trying out for the girls� basketball team.�
He raised an eyebrow, �I didn�t know you were the type.�
�Hey,� she laughed, �I whipped your ass into shape way back in sixth grade and I could still do it now.�
�Sixth Grade, yes,� he said with a grimace, remembering none too fondly the growth spurt that she�d hit back in the day, leaving her almost a head taller than him and obviously at a bit of an advantage where basketball was concerned. �But now?� he eyed her with a disbelieving smile.
�What�s that look supposed to mean?� She chuckled and took a bite of the apple, �Think I couldn�t take you? Why don�t you come over to the gas station after school��
�You don�t have a basketball hoop at the gas station,� he interrupted.
�Let me finish,� she took another bite and mumbled through the mouthful of fruit, �why don�t you come over to the gas station after school, fix up a basketball hoop by the side of the house, and then I�ll kick your ass.�
He couldn�t help but laugh, �So this isn�t an invite for a game, it�s getting me to do some hard labour for you.�
She grinned and shrugged without an answer. He tilted his head, �What do I get out of it?�
�Some awesome pointers from Ms. Bella Banks herself, of course,� she chuckled, standing up, �I gotta go, I need to sort some things out with one of my teachers. See you after school.�
�See you after school,� he echoed, watching her walk briskly out of the cafeteria. With a confounded smile at the speed she had conducted this entire meeting, he went back to his sandwich.
***
Rawley Girls� Academy
�Oh, my god!� shrieked Leah Rickard as she saw Faye making her way down the hall. She bounded up to the blonde, �What have you done to your hair?�
Faye grinned at the redhead, �Nice to see you again, too.�
Leah eyed Faye�s short haircut with critical scrutiny, �this is break-up hair.�
�Observant,� Faye was surprised, running a hand through the chunky layers, �is it that obvious?�
�No,� Leah smiled, �I just heard from Caroline that you and Scout broke up. Sorry about that, by the way.�
�Don�t be, I�m not.� Faye said lightly, shrugging off the subject, �How was your summer?�
�Oh, Summer Session was all sorts of fun,� Faye said blandly, rolling her eyes, �but at least I got to spend a few weeks in Paris afterward.�
�That must have been nice,� Leah said, �hey� um, so, like, is Josh back?�
Faye laughed out loud at the not-so-discreet shift in conversation, �Yeah, he is.� Sneaking a look at Leah, she grinned, �Still not over the obsession?�
Leah blushed, �Shut up.�
�He was pretty close to not coming back, as a matter of fact,� Faye said as they made their way upstairs, �he hasn�t been having an easy time lately.�
�Really?� Leah glanced at her, worried, �What was wrong?�
Faye shrugged. �Everything. It wasn�t so much one particular thing but a whole lot of stuff all clumping up together, you know? I think our time away did him some good, but with the new semester and everything�� she shrugged again and sighed, �I guess we�ll see.�
�I hope he�s all right,� Leah said quietly.
�Yeah, well, me too.� Faye sighed again and came to a stop in front of her room, �Want to come in?�
�I better go unpack first,� Leah decided, �but let�s catch up over coffee sometime.�
�Definitely,� Faye agreed and waved her friend on. Ducking into her own room, she grinned at her roommate, �Good morrow to you, my darling Ms. Bennett.�
�Right.� Paige Bennett said, �I swear, you get weirder every time I see you.�
�And I shall take that as a compliment,� Faye replied blithely as she fell onto her bed and stretched out.
�You always do,� Paige laughed, �how was your vacation?�
�Plenty of relaxation,� Faye sighed dreamily, �shopping, sightseeing, a romance blossoming in front of my eyes��
�Really?� Paige turned around with interest, �Between who?�
�Whom,� Faye couldn�t resist correcting. Paige rolled her eyes and the blonde shrugged, slightly embarrassed, �well, let�s just say I wish there was a romance��
�Did Ryder hook up?� Paige asked, knowing of the older boy�s track record with members of the opposite sex.
�No,� Faye replied, �and even if he did, I wouldn�t exactly call it a �romance� if you know what I mean.�
Paige laughed out loud, �Good point. So it was Josh.�
�He didn�t meet anyone either,� Faye said, �I didn�t say anything actually happened. Just that I wish it would.�
�Stop being cryptic,� Paige said, �who do you want hooking up with who?� As an afterthought she added, rolling her eyes once more, �whom.�
Faye laughed, but a thoughtful look settled into her eyes. Paige waited, but no answer came.
***
Will and Ryder�s Room
Will settled back on his bed by the window, looked around his surroundings, and smiled.
His side of the room looked as though it came straight out of the Rawley catalogue. Ryder�s side of the room � a combination result of Will shoving all the Brit�s stuff onto his floor, and Ryder himself not exactly being the cleanliest of people � looked like Ground Zero. Which was just the way Will liked it� another semester has begun, and in this one, he was determined not to lose out to Ryder Forrest. He leaned back, stretched out his legs, and picked up his dog-eared copy of Catcher in the Rye.
The door flew open with a loud thunk. Ryder stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and eyes narrowed, scrutinising the mess on his side of the room. �William,� he drawled.
�Gregor,� Will replied with a small sneer, referring to what Faye said was Ryder�s real first name.
�Mind telling me what is going on here?� Ryder eyed Will�s immaculate side of the room and worked his way past various obstacles to his bed, which was entirely buried under his clothes.
Will feigned innocence, �What? It�s all your stuff, I just threw it on your side.�
�I can see that,� Ryder muttered, starting to pick up his shirts and toss them one by one into his closet. After a moment a small glint came into his eye, and he smirked to himself. Skirting around the boxes and furniture that stood in complete disarray, he rummaged through his suitcases and promptly came up with a CD that he inserted into his player. The sound of Cripple Mr Onion�s �A.I.� thundered out of his expensive, large speakers, and a metallic, droning voice pulsated through the room.
All bound and fettered down
this wretched child in time
Careless created
and careless pushed aside�
A nerveless wreck inside
pulse of potential tries
Inside its tiny fractured mind
a pinched and stuttering thought climbs�
The music started off not being particularly hard, and hence not too annoying. Will glanced at Ryder out of the corner of his eye and chuckled, �Is that supposed to annoy me?�
Of course, no sooner than he�d finished his sentence, the song suddenly burst into a loud, fuzzy, clomping wall of sound. He fought back a wince. �WHAT?� Ryder demanded over the din, nodding his head to the beat and smiling innocently.
Will swore under his breath. He couldn�t very well let slip that the song, which Ryder seemed to genuinely enjoy, was in fact wearing on his nerves� because it was too loud. With this in mind, he yelled back defiantly, �I LIKE THIS SONG!�
I'm alive, though I'm not the same as you
I'm not breathing, but I'm being
Ryder shrugged. �GOOD,� he shouted, and proceeded to turn the volume up another two or three notches. Will could have sworn that the furniture was slowly being shifted across the room by the reverberating bass frequencies. The song echoed inside his eardrums, making him feel ill. Nevertheless, Ryder was watching him closely, challenging him to back down; and so he managed a sickly smile.
Without fear, without hate
and without kindness
Without human weakness
and without human graces�
Part 3
The Gas Station
Bella looked up from the gas pumps as Jake�s motorbike swerved into the station. �Hey girl!� She called happily, running up to hug her friend, �How have you been?�
�Decent, decent,� Jake laughed, hugging her back before taking off her helmet. �And you?�
Bella grinned, �I�m good. Did you have fun in New York?�
�Oh yeah,� Jake smiled, crossing her arms and leaning forward on the bike. Bella sat down on a nearby concrete block. �So what did you two do? Sightseeing?�
�Not exactly.� Jake laughed, �Let�s just say� we didn�t spend too much time outside of the apartment.�
�I getcha,� Bella giggled. �You look happy.�
�I am happy,� Jake affirmed. Getting off the bike, she came to sit beside Bella, �And you know what? Lately I just, you know, feel really girly. Going back to being a girl in New York rocked.� She glanced down at her biker jacket and grey men�s jeans, and made a face, �I wasn�t looking forward to being back in these clothes.�
�It must be hard,� Bella sympathised, �want a girly sleepover sometime to recuperate?�
Jake�s eyes lit up, �Yeah, that�d be great. Although�� she sank down in her seat, �I can�t this weekend.�
�Where are you going?� Bella asked carefully, seeing the brunette�s expression darken.
Jake glanced up, �England.�
�To see your mom?� Bella said, �That should be fun��
�It�s not really to see my mom,� Jake interrupted with a sigh, �I�ve got to� go to Court.�
�What for?� Bella asked, startled.
�Remember a guy called Grant McMillan?� Jake asked, her tone suddenly icy, �the guy who tried to rape me about six months ago? His hearing is this week, I�ve got to go testify.�
�I�m sorry,� Bella said quietly.
�No, it�s fine,� Jake said, shaking her head slightly, �I just want to get this over and done with, you know? Put him behind bars or something. I�ll be happier knowing he�s somewhere where he can�t drug young girls. I�m perfectly happy to go.�
�Does Hamilton know?� Bella asked.
Jake nodded, �He�s been really supportive. My mom, too. She�s going to be at the hearing.�
�So I suppose she hired a really good lawyer to argue your case.� Bella said, �Sorry, I didn�t even know the whole thing was going to Court until today. I just assumed he went to jail straight away or something��
Jake cracked a smile, �Hardly. You know he�s like a famous actor over there. They are having a special hearing � you know how they usually have a judge and a jury? He�s like, �special�, right?� She made quotation marks with her fingers and rolled her eyes, �so we�re having a judge�s hearing without a jury, that�s the way they do it with cases that cause public controversy because they are scared the jury�s� you know, tainted. And we don�t get to hire lawyers, it�s a criminal case so the Crown prosecutes him, not me personally.�
�That sucks,� Bella said sympathetically.
�And he�s obviously hired the best defence lawyer in the Commonwealth,� Jake said sullenly, �but I�ll be damned if we actually let him get away with this. I could kill the guy.�
�I know,� Bella said quietly, and fell silent.
A moment later Jake looked up with a small smile, �Let�s not worry about it. You want to hear something weird?�
�Yeah, sure,� Bella perked up, glad to have a distraction.
Jake laughed, �So Hamilton and I arrive back at the dorms this morning, right? We walk into the hall, and the place is like, entirely plastered in REACH posters. Then Josh comes up to us holding this huge stack of the same poster and tells us he�s going to totally revive REACH this year and he looked absolutely insane. The guy really needs to chill.�
Bella laughed, �I didn�t know he was such an activist. So you and Hamilton are going along with it?�
�I dunno,� Jake picked at a stray thread on her shirtsleeve. �It�s weird, you know? We were happy enough being a part of REACH, but it just feels more and more like we�re one of the leaders. We�re totally involved in the whole gay scene in Rawley,� she rolled her eyes, �whatever that is, anyway. And neither of us like it cos it�s all a lie, we just don�t know how to get out of it.�
�Why don�t you try and get out of REACH?� Bella suggested.
�Josh will kill us,� Jake said emphatically, running a hand through her hair.
Bella thought for a moment. �Have you considered telling him about�� she gestured at Jake vaguely, �you know?�
�That I�m a girl?� Jake wondered, �I�ve thought about it, but� it�s just, we�ve been pretending to be gay around Josh all this time, you know? After that thing with Romeo and Juliet last semester, and everything else� he�s going to be so pissed off if he finds out about me now. We can�t tell him, I think most of the reason he likes us is because we�re �gay�.�
�He�s not like that.� Bella said mildly.
�No, that came out wrong,� Jake sighed, �all I mean is, REACH is such a big part of him, you know? He�s so involved with it � and if he found out that Hamilton and I have been lying about this to him for so long, how�s he ever going to trust us with anything else?�
�You�ve got a point,� Bella said thoughtfully, �so you�re not going to say anything to him?�
�No�� Jake said slowly, and sighed again. �This is screwed, isn�t it? Maybe we should think more about backing out.�
***
Finn�s Office
Finn sat at his desk, going over the new semester�s teaching schedule. The Venetian blinds were half-closed, letting in only slivers of the sunlight and lending the room a dusky, old-fashioned feel.
�Hey,� Will poked his head into the office, �can I sign up for the tutoring program now?�
Finn looked up, taking his reading glasses off, �Sure, come on in.� He rummaged through the mess on the desk and emerged with a black notebook, �You know the drill. You sign up for whatever subjects you want to tutor, and we�ll pair you up with suitable people.�
Will nodded and flipped open the book. �Hey!� he exclaimed, �Anita Simons signed up to tutor all the subjects I wanted to do.�
Finn glanced at the page, �English, history, introduction to philosophy� yup, that she has.�
�What does that mean?� Will furrowed his brows and began to print his name below Anita�s, �Only a few students sign up to get tutored as it is; does that mean we�ll have to split them between us?�
�Yeah,� Finn scratched his chin thoughtfully, �it�s funny, I didn�t know she was interested in tutoring.�
�I know why she�s doing this,� Will mumbled, �she hates me. She�s not doing it because she likes it, and we all know she doesn�t need the money� she�s just doing it to piss me off.�
�I�m sure that�s not the reason,� Finn smiled. Will shrugged and finished writing down his details. �Thanks,� he said grimly, handing the book back.
�I�ll see you in class,� Finn called as the door closed behind the tall boy.
Will walked out of the building, sat down on the lawn and squinted against the sun. �Bitch,� he muttered under his breath, �evil, evil bane of my existence.�
�And to whom do we owe this crown of derision?� Somebody laughed out loud, catching his sentence.
Will turned around, startled. Faye stood behind him with an Asian girl in tow, identical smirks evident on their pretty faces. �Hope you were talking about somebody I know,� Faye said, sitting down beside him.
Will took no notice of her. �Maria?� he asked incredulously, looking at the other girl.
�It�s only been three weeks,� Maria Ishizuka said with a smile, �forget me already?�
�Well� you look so different,� Will admitted, �where are, you know, all your piercings? What happened to your blue hair? I thought you were going to that place in Tokyo where everybody is the epitome of weird.� He scrutinised her closely: as far as weird went, she wasn�t. The eyebrow ring was gone, as was the labret piercing, the multiple earrings, the nose ring, and the industrial bar. Even her hair was straight, long, normal.
�Yeah,� Maria sighed, falling dramatically to the ground, �I went. And let�s just say� people really know how to dress to impress there��
��Impress� as in �making quite an impression�,� Faye offered, �get her to show you her photos later.�
�So,� Maria continued, �I walk around at Rawley, I get a few raised eyebrows; but when I get there, I�m like the lamest person. And believe me, there wasn�t much I could do to change the situation. Those people were beyond piercings and tattoos, if you know what I mean.�
�Not really,� Will grimaced, �and let�s keep it at that. I don�t think I want to know. So you decided to go the other extreme and get back to being� normal.�
Maria laughed, running a hand through her jet-black hair, �For the time being.�
Will eyed her sceptically, �You got rid of all your piercings?�
She chuckled, �You know me well.� Poking out her tongue, she showed them that she�d still kept a single tongue stud. �For a keepsake,� she explained.
�So, now that formalities are out of the way,� Faye interrupted, �who�s the evil bane of your existence, exactly?�
Will rolled his eyes, �Anita Simons.�
The girls nodded sympathetically. �Enough said, really,� remarked Faye, �can�t blame you either.�
�What did she do to you?� Will asked with interest.
She shrugged, �Nothing much. We just don�t get along.�
�That�s one better than me,� He said, �I think she�s got it in for me ever since I apparently wasted her summer doing the Summer Book.�
�It�s her own fault if she had a boring summer,� Maria rolled her eyes, �kinda lame for her to blame it on you.�
�Thank you,� said Will emphatically, �at least somebody agrees with me.� Checking his watch, he stood up, �Hey, I�ve got to bail. I�m meeting Scout for lunch�� he trailed off suddenly, glancing at Faye.
The blonde laughed, �It�s only his name, Will. Jesus, did you think I was going to faint or something?�
He smiled with embarrassment, �I dunno.� Leaning close to Faye, he added, �He misses you, you know.�
She shrugged, looking as though she couldn�t care less.
***
Rawley Boys� Academy
Scout walked down the hall, shaking his head at the wall-to-wall REACH posters. �Crazy,� he muttered to himself, turning the corner to see Jake walking quickly ahead. �Jake, my man!� he called out with a jesting smile, �You know Hamilton�s this way.�
She didn�t turn around, seeming as though she didn�t even register that he was calling her name. Scout furrowed his brows and tried again, �Earth to Jake! Yo, Jacob Pratt!�
The slim brunette turned around the bend and promptly disappeared out of view. Scout stared after her, confused.
�What are you lookin� at?� Will asked, walking up. Hamilton followed close behind.
�Hey,� Scout turned to greet his friends, �Jake just ignored me. I called her name two or three times and it�s like she didn�t even hear me.�
Will shrugged, �Maybe she didn�t.�
�Nah,� Scout gestured, �she was just over there. Weird.�
�You sure it was her?� Hamilton asked, �I thought she was at Bella�s.�
�It was definitely her,� Scout said, sure of himself.
Hamilton frowned. �I�m sure it�s nothing. Come on, let�s go to the diner, I�m starving.�
***
Faye and Paige�s room
Don't you mess with a little girl's dream
Cos she's liable to grow up mean
Faye smiled at the beginning of the song that came on the radio, and turned the volume up. It was �Control� by Poe, an anthem of self-asserted femininity without being overtly political about it, a state of being that she loved and hoped she�d always be a part of. Nodding her head to the beat, she finished inflating her blow-up chair with a bicycle pump.
Surprised you to find that I'm laughing?
You thought that you'd find me in tears
You thought I'd be crawling the walls
like a tiny mosquito and trembling in fear
Well you may be king for the moment
But I am a queen understand
And I've got your pawns and your bishops and castles
all inside the palm of my hand
Swirling past her bed and shoving random items in random places where they happened to fit, she stepped to the beat and happily sang along. Grabbing her hairbrush off the dresser, she struck a pose in front of the mirror.
While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
cos I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me�
I was taking control
Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control, control�
�Fabulous show,� Josh said with a small laugh, having just opened the door to witness the song and dance routine of his normally composed friend. Faye grinned and thrust the hairbrush at him, �Sing, my pretty!�
�No, thank you,� he said with a chuckle, stepped inside, closed the door behind him, and exclaimed as she grabbed him by the waist and twirled him around, �What are you doing?�
�Dance with me,� she wriggled to the beat, �you know you want to.�
He rolled his eyes and obliged, falling into rhythm and dancing unenthusiastically. �Ryder wants to do dinner at Friendly�s.�
This is beginning to feel good
Watching you squirm in your shoes
A small bead of sweat on your brow
and a growl in your belly you're scared to let through
You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole
�Is eating at the diner a big deal now? Just go,� she said, twirling her hands above her head.
He stopped dancing and looked at her imploringly, �I can�t go by myself.�
She swirled, turned her back on him and instead watched him in the mirror, �Why?�
�Cos I�m scared of being alone with him,� he replied matter-of-factly, �you know that. There wasn�t one moment in Paris when we were together without you.�
She also stopped dancing and put the hairbrush down. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, she said, �Maybe it�s time to change that.�
�What�s the point?� He sighed, and repeated, �Really, what is the point? Just come.�
She sighed too, and nodded.
While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
cos I was miserable
***
The Gas Station
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me�
I was taking control
Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control�
Bella sang along with the radio as she set about polishing a customer�s car, rubbing the chamois cloth over the hood and moving her hips in time to the beat. Sean, standing on a ladder that leaned against the side of the house, laughed at her, �Glad to see you concentrating on your work.�
�You can talk,� she called back with a smile. He grinned and turned back to the task at hand � fixing a basketball hoop to the side of the garage office. Hammering the last few nails into the backboard, he scrutinised his handiwork and announced, �Here you go.�
She looked up and surveyed the hoop, �That looks great.�
So this is how it feels
to breathe in the summer air
The feel the sand between my toes
and love inside my ear
All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And you're not welcome here
Come here!
He grinned again and climbed down the ladder. Before he could say anything, she grabbed a basketball sitting by the steps and sped past him, leaping up and tossing it through the hoop.
He whistled, �Good going, Banks. Looks like there might be a place in the team for you yet.�
�Let�s hope so,� she ran after the ball, dribbled for a few moments and tried another shot further down the drive. The ball circled on the rim for a couple of seconds before it fell through the hoop. She punched the air in victory, �I rock!�
Come a little bit closer
Let me look at you
I gave you the benefit
of the doubt it's true
But keep in mind my darling
Not every saint is a fool
�You�re better than I thought,� he remarked, surprised, �when did you get so good?�
She shrugged and took another shot. This time she missed and he caught the ball as it rebounded off the backboard. �It�s just time for some changes,� she said blithely, �balance life out, set goals��
He attempted a shot from where he stood, and the ball bounced off the rim of the hoop. �You�re like a different person since you came back.�
�I am,� she said, catching the ball and began to spin it expertly on one finger. Sean�s jaw dropped. She glanced at him and smiled brightly, �It�s all about equilibrium.�
While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
cos I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me�
I was taking control
Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control
Don't you mess with me�
Part 4
The Diner
Hamilton whistled through his teeth as he watched Bella and Sean through the window of Friendly�s, and turned back to Scout, Will and Jake, �I didn�t know Bella could throw like that.�
Will smiled knowingly and took a bite out of his burger, not bothering to verify the statement � he had been well informed of that fact since sixth grade. However, Scout turned and stared out the window. �Whoa,� he said as Bella executed a perfect three point shot, �she�s way better than me.�
Hamilton stifled a snort of laughter and glanced discreetly at Scout�s short legs.
The other boy, thankfully, did not notice. �Hey,� he suggested, �why don�t we go and have a game?�
�I can�t,� Hamilton declared and glanced at Jake, �We�ve gotta go to a REACH meeting.�
�Hey, who put all the posters up around campus?� Scout asked, frowning, �I haven�t seen one single wall that�s not completely covered.�
�That was Josh,� Jake rolled her eyes, �apparently he�s gone insane after breaking up with Malcolm, or maybe it was the three weeks overseas with Ryder that did it.�
�It�s cool that he�s taking a stand,� Will said tentatively, �but don�t you think he�s going a bit far with all the posters?�
�God yeah,� Hamilton sighed, �but we can�t talk sense into him. He�s got zillions of plans for REACH this semester.�
�You mean like more dresses at dances?� Scout laughed out loud, �I wouldn�t mind seeing more of that.�
Hamilton threw him a withering look, �Of course you wouldn�t. You don�t have to wear the dress.� Turning back to Will, he continued, �It�s getting kind of uncomfortable.�
�Yeah, he keeps expecting us to totally support whatever he does,� Jake added, glancing at her boyfriend, �but� you know, everything�s fake with us so it�s becoming kind of difficult.�
�So you don�t want to get more involved but he�s sorta sucking you in?� Will asked.
�Yeah, something like that,� affirmed Hamilton.
�It just feels wrong,� Jake added.
Scout turned back from the window, �Look, you guys don�t even want to be in REACH anymore, by the looks of things, why don�t you just quit?�
�We don�t want to just quit,� Jake said, �we like hanging out with the guys.�
�You just don�t want to pull the gay pride thing anymore,� Scout nodded, �sure, I get it. Just tell Josh you want a smaller role or, I dunno, tell him about�� he gestured at Jake, �you. Then he�ll understand� why you�re quitting, at least.�
Jake shared a look with Hamilton and shrugged, �We could try talking to him about backing out. Anyway,� she checked her wristwatch, �we better get going.�
�I�ll come with you,� Will said, getting to his feet, �I should make sure Ryder�s not sabotaging my room. I think he has it in for me this semester.�
�So what else is new?� Scout laughed, waving his friends out, and made his way across the street to talk to Bella and Sean.
***
Will and Ryder�s room
Will peeked into the room cautiously, wondering what the chances were that Ryder had set up a bucket of water � or something worse � on top of the door. Nothing fell on him, but the strong smell of cigarette smoke assaulted his nostrils. Sputtering, he strode into the room and glared at the other boy, who was lounging on the windowsill. �I could get you kicked out for this, you know.�
�What, smoking a fag?� Ryder glanced at him, �I doubt anything so drastic would come from that. Go ahead, little William, nark away all you like, just don�t blame me when you lose all your friends.�
�Come on,� Will snorted, �I don�t think anyone�s going to be too heartbroken if you left. Put that thing out now or I�m telling Finn.�
�Or I�m telling Finn,� Ryder mimicked, rolling his eyes skyward. �I wonder, do you actually have a life outside of what Finn gives you? How many favours do you have to perform to have a �buddy� like that?�
�What�s that supposed to mean?� Will bristled.
�You know exactly what I mean.� Ryder didn�t bother looking at him. �He�s going to handle everything for you, isn�t he? Whatever happens, run crying to Finn and he�ll sort it out for you. Ooh, my roommate smokes; ooh, I�m an overstressed basket case with a permanent stick up my arse. Well, let me tell you something. He�s just a pathetic good-for-nothing loser and you�re just his pathetic good-for-nothing boy-pet.�
�Ryder�� Will said in a low voice, �you have no idea how close I am to beating the hell out of you right now.�
Ryder glanced at him carelessly, tapping his cigarette on the inside of the windowsill, letting flakes of ash fall onto the polished wood floor.
Very slowly, the corner of his lips curled up in something resembling a smile, �Go on, hit me if you can. Tell on me. Tell him you can�t possibly live with the smell of smoke in the air; tell him to kick me out and you�ll repay him plenty tonight by��
�That�s not true and you know it,� Will said through gritted teeth, blood rushing to his face.
Ryder trained his calm gaze on the fuming boy�s face. �Maybe that is so,� he drawled, �but I know a lot of people who�d think exactly what I think. How many people can you sway, Townie?�
***
Classroom
�This meeting of the Rawley Effort Against Conventional Heterosexuality will now come to order,� barked Josh from his seat at the teacher�s desk. The few people present threw a bunch of strange looks in his direction before stopping their chatter, and turning dubiously to the self-appointed despot.
�Right, first things first,� he said with a great air of ceremony, �a big welcome to our new members.�
�New member,� said Jake with a smile, �and we all know her.�
The others laughed and all eyes came to rest on Leah Rickard, who was blushing. �Um, hi,� she said, �just wanted to, you know, see what�s going on.�
�All queer-friendly people are perfectly welcome in our meetings,� Josh said authoritatively, nodding. �Okay, second thing � when I was in Boston I talked to a few people in high schools over there, trying to arrange for a get-together for local gay and lesbian societies��
�When did you do that?� Malcolm, who�d been quiet since the moment he stepped into the room, couldn�t resist asking. �I was with you in Boston most of the time.�
Josh glanced at him and quickly looked away, �This was after I came back from my vacation.�
Malcolm nodded, his expression blank. Jake looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and bit the inside of her lip. When did the two break up? Why? They seemed perfectly happy when they came back for the Cotillion. Things change so fast when one doesn�t pay attention.
�Anyway,� Josh continued, not looking at Malcolm, �we�re thinking of some type of event� you know, like a public concert or something to raise our profiles.�
�A concert with Amnesia?� Hamilton wanted to know. The band took part in a fundraising event last year for paediatric cancer and that gave a good turnout from the local area.
Josh shook his head, �We were actually thinking of pooling our resources, and getting some really good performers, you know � celebrities.�
�That could be cool,� said Thomas Greenwood.
�It means we�ll have to establish a treasury,� Josh said quickly, �and we�ll have to do some fundraising.�
Hamilton looked dubious, �Fundraising� for a gay event� in New Rawley? I can�t see that going down too well.�
Josh looked at him disapprovingly, �Just leave that up to me, okay? I�m going to talk to the Board of Trustees for funding, because we�re a club that�s been established for a while so we�re entitled to some money; but I�m just saying we might need to do something more to get extra.�
Hamilton shrugged, exchanging another look with Jake. �You�re not thinking about getting us dressed up again and parading down Main Street or something like that, by any chance?�
�We�ve got to do what is necessary,� Josh merely said, a manic glint in his eye. Hamilton couldn�t help a pained grimace.
After the meeting Jake tugged on Hamilton�s shirtsleeve, and they loitered around while Thomas and Leah sauntered out of the room. Malcolm looked as though he wanted to speak to Josh, but seeing that the other couple obviously also had something to say, he gave up and walked out behind the others. Thoughtfully, Jake gazed after him for a moment before turning back to the matter at hand. �Josh?� she asked, tentative.
The smaller boy looked at her and smiled with embarrassment, �If this is about the whole calling the meeting to order thing, I apologise. I think I went just a little overboard there.�
Jake laughed, �Just as long as you don�t turn into Kristy from the Baby-Sitters� Club.�
There was a moment�s silence as both boys stared at her, uncomprehending. She blushed and quickly diverted their attention, �Anyway, we wanted to talk to you in private.�
�Go ahead,� Josh steepled his fingers and leaned forward, �is something wrong?�
�Well� not really,� Jake admitted, �we�re just� um�� She cleared her throat, casting a helpless glance in Hamilton�s direction.
�We sort of want to take a back seat where REACH is concerned,� he came to the rescue and said in a rush.
Josh�s eyes widened, �Why?�
Jake shrugged uncomfortably, �I don�t know� it�s just� we�re not very comfortable being on the soapbox all the time.�
�I get it,� Josh�s shoulders began to slump downward, �it�s me, isn�t it? I�ve gone overboard with this entire thing and I�ve scared everybody off.�
�No�� Hamilton hurried to say, �we just think� we�re not the best people to help you get the word out.�
�Why?� Josh asked with a dejected look on his face, �If you think you�re not the best people to help with the cause, can you name anybody else who�d do a better job?�
Hamilton fell silent. Jake squeezed his hand and debated whether to say what was on her mind.
Josh watched her with a rueful smile, and slowly nodded, �I know you want to say �Malcolm�. It�s okay, I know he�s good at this type of thing too. But�� he sighed, �I just can�t work with him at the moment. We�re sharing a room and the situation, as it is, is pretty much unbearable already.� Folding his arms, he rested his forehead wearily upon the desk, �Nothing is going my way.�
Jake sighed sympathetically, laying a hand on his shoulder, �Everything will get better.�
He lifted his head a little and looked her straight in the eye. �Would it?� he asked softly, �Because it feels as though the world is passing me by. I can�t grab onto any of it� I can�t control any of it. That�s why I did all that stuff with the posters, with this meeting� and all I do is screw things up. You guys don�t even want to be a part of us anymore.�
Hamilton shared a look with Jake. �Look,� he said, �we�ll help out, really. We just weren�t sure, but�� again he glanced at Jake, who shrugged slowly in a helpless fashion. He nodded and continued, �� you can count on us. We�ll do everything to help you get this thing off the ground.�
�Thank you,� Josh offered a small smile, and the cloud of misery in his eyes lifted, if only a little.
***
The Diner
Scout had been hanging around town all day. After chatting with Bella and Sean, he came back to the diner and caught sight of the matronly owner behind the counter. �Vicki,� he called, �can I talk to you for a sec?�
�Sure thing, Scout.� The older woman smiled warmly at her former employee, �What can I do you for?�
�I was wondering if you have any job openings?� he asked hopefully, �I want to start working at the diner again and I knew you didn�t have any spots left during the summer but��
She smiled apologetically, �I�m sorry��
�It�s cool,� he shrugged, �could you give me a call if any position comes up?�
�Of course,� she said, just as Will and Maria walked into the diner. �Looking for a job, Scout?� Will asked.
The other boy turned around, �Yeah. There�s no opening though.�
�My mom�s looking for a cleaner in the salon, you should go talk to her.� Will offered, �I don�t know how much it pays but�� he winked at Vicki, �you can�t get much less than working at the diner.�
Vicki hit him on the arm, albeit good-naturedly. �I think it�s time for another beating, smartass.�
�It�s time for a raise,� Will laughed as Vicki disappeared into the kitchen. As they found a spare booth, he asked Scout, �trying to be self-sufficient?�
�Absolutely,� Scout looked serious, �I�m taking responsibility of my life.�
�You read like a crap coming-of-age movie,� Maria pointed out, �doing it for a girl, no less.�
Scout shrugged, �If responsibility is what she wants, then it�s what she�ll get from me.� Glancing from Maria to Will, he asked, �When did you two meet up?�
�I found him in a fit of rage out by the lake,� she laughed, �apparently his roommate hadn�t been very nice with the taunting.�
�He was smoking in our room,� Will explained, �and when I tried to make him stop he said all this stuff about me being Finn�s pet.�
Scout and Maria shared a look. �Can�t blame him,� Scout said mildly, �you are Finn�s pet.�
�He made it sound shady,� Will replied huffily, just as the door opened and who else but Ryder walked in, with Josh and Faye in tow. The blond cast a glance over Will�s rapidly reddening face, and smirked, �It is quite the dodgy affair, William� or should I say jailbait?�
�You� you�� hissed Will, trying to come up with the nastiest word he could think of, ��fuckwit!�
Ryder widened his eyes in mock shock, �Ooh, jailbait learned to swear. I�m so scared.�
�Play nice, Ryder,� Faye reprimanded casually, leading the way to a booth in the back of the diner. As she passed Scout she gave him a cursory glance, and shifted a little closer to Josh. It was a move that Scout couldn�t help but notice, and he set his jaw at the sight.
As the trio slid into their seats, Josh glanced at Ryder with a smile, �You�re being way too harsh on Will.�
Ryder looked surprised, �I think he deserves all he gets.�
�Just for being smarter than you?� Faye teased, picking up the menu.
�No,� Ryder said witheringly, �just for acting as though he�s smarter than everyone else. You think any sixteen year old actually has anything interesting to say about life? You think he actually knows what he wants? At most he�s read a few books and thinks he knows how to go about life, what he wants to do, and even that�s bullshit most of the time.�
�Bit hypocritical for you to criticise if you think that�s the way with everyone,� Faye pointed out.
Josh glanced at the siblings, �I think Ryder�s point is, he�s not criticising because he thinks he�s better.�
�Exactly,� Ryder cast a half-smile in Josh�s direction, the closest he�d get to a grateful expression. �All I�m saying is Krudski is misguided. The wisest man is he who admits he knows nothing.�
�Don�t throw Socrates at me, brother.� Faye snorted and changed the topic, �How was the REACH meeting?�
�Well, I may have overdone the promotion,� Josh admitted sheepishly, �Jake and Hamilton want out.�
�Really,� Faye perked up at the news. She�d always wondered how the non-gay-gay-pride thing would pan out. Ryder, on the other hand, couldn�t care less: �So they decide the limelight�s too much for them?� he rolled his eyes, �typical. Rile everybody up then pull a no-show.�
�I don�t think they�re leaving just yet,� Josh explained, chewing on his lower lip, �I just don�t know what to do here. These guys don�t want to be high-profile but I can�t see how we can get established otherwise.�
�Why are you suddenly so insistent on REACH?� asked Faye, just as Ryder �suggested�, �Screw them. You�re in charge, just go ahead with whatever you want.�
�Because it�s something I actually have control over,� Josh answered Faye first, then: �and unlike you, Ryder, I refrain from treating everyone like dirt.�
The Brit didn�t so much as raise an eyebrow, �Then that�s your loss.�
Part 5
Jake�s room
�That didn�t go exactly as we planned,� Hamilton stated the obvious, sitting down heavily on Jake�s bed.
�You think we should try again?� Jake asked, tossing him a can of soda.
He caught the can and opened it noisily, �And risk him falling into another crevice of self-hatred? I think I�ll let Faye handle that one.�
�So what do we do now?� she asked, tossing back half the can in one gulp, �I mean, not only did we not get out, like we planned; I think we�re in for the long haul now.�
He shrugged, not too concerned. �Things are the way they are, we�ll deal. And in the meantime,� he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her toward him with a smile, �we have each other to think about.�
�And the case,� she reminded him, also sitting down.
He put an arm around her shoulders, �How are you feeling?�
�Nervous,� she admitted, �but I�m glad something�s finally getting done.�
�I�m sorry I can�t be there with you,� he said, �you know if I had a spare thousand dollars lying around��
�You�d be there in a flash,� she smiled at him, �I know. And I appreciate it. I�ll be okay with my mom.�
�Whatever happens, remember to call me all the time, okay?� He smoothed back the stray hairs falling across her forehead and kissed her eyebrow.
�Of course I will,� she said, pulling him in for a proper kiss.
***
The Diner
Although it was early evening, the summer sun hardly seemed any less bright. The floor looked like it was carpeted with burnished gold, and the customers were, to varying degrees, all shimmering copper.
Faye had attacked her double cheeseburger and large fries with vigour. Ryder was halfheartedly finishing his order of grilled steak. Josh, on the other hand, had been pushing a small portion of garden salad back and forth around his plate for the better part of an hour. And during that time, Faye had only seen him lift the fork to his mouth twice. She nudged Ryder�s foot discreetly under the table, tilting her head toward Josh�s plate. Her brother nodded ever so slightly, his blue eyes troubled.
�I�m full,� Faye declared, pushing her plate toward Josh, �want these fries?�
�No, thanks,� he said casually, not even looking at the plate, �Ryder?�
�Uh�� The blond scratched his chin, �I can manage half of it, why don�t you have the rest?�
�I�m not hungry,� Josh said, and the sentence was punctuated by a low growl from his stomach. He reddened, looked away as though nothing had happened, and tilted his head down slightly, so that his hair fell around his face like a dark curtain.
�You�ve hardly touched your food,� Faye said more bluntly, �you can�t be full.�
�Well, I don�t want to eat,� he said defensively, �and I am full, as a matter of fact.�
�Right,� Ryder said, �and that was a growl of fullness from your stomach.�
Josh looked up, his eyes growing bright with sudden anger, �I don�t need a third degree from you guys, all right?�
Faye sighed, �We just think you should eat more, that�s all. You�re getting thin.�
�I�m not,� he raised his voice, clamping a hand around his forearm, �flesh and muscle, see? All present.�
�More like skin and bones,� Ryder muttered under his breath, but catching a stony glare from Josh, he shrugged and turned away. Faye caught his gaze and he shrugged again. She couldn�t figure out if it was supposed to mean that he didn�t care, or that he didn�t know what to do. She hoped it was not the former.
The atmosphere at the booth had rapidly become charged. Faye fought another sigh, and changed the topic, �Any gigs coming up?�
�Just rehearsals,� Josh said, relieved that the questioning was over about his eating habits. �We�re playing at the Halloween Ball here though.�
�That should be good,� Faye said cheerfully, �so how did the band take your leaving suddenly at the end of the summer?�
�Not too well, I�m afraid,� Josh said with a wistful smile, �it was a horribly unprofessional thing to do. We still had gigs lined up when I left.�
�Hey, personal well-being comes first,� Faye said, �and I think we were all on the verge of a breakdown without a holiday to rescue us.�
�Speak for yourself,� Ryder said, glaring at the back of Will�s head a few booths away, �some of us prefer inflicting breakdowns on others.�
***
�Don�t look,� Maria advised Will, �but Ryder�s burning holes in the back of your head with his Supervillain heat vision.�
�Let him stare all he wants,� Will fumed, �I�m going to get the bastard one day, just watch me��
�Great, just in time for tough guy talk,� joked Bella as she joined their friends at the booth. �I assume we�re talking Ryder?�
�The one and only.� Will affirmed, �God, why are there so many bastards at Rawley? First Anita, then him��
�Don�t worry about them,� Maria tried to console him, �and definitely don�t let them get to you.�
�I guess the first day back at Rawley didn�t go too well,� Bella observed with a sympathetic smile.
�It was decent for the rest of us,� said Scout, �classes don�t start until tomorrow.�
�Ours started today,� Bella said, �I�ve got good teachers this year. Also thinking of joining the girls� basketball team, in fact.�
�You�ll make it,� Scout said encouragingly, �I was watching you play earlier � you�re not bad.�
�Not bad?� she laughed out loud, �I�ll kick your ass any day.�
He raised his eyebrows, �You�re on. Want a game now?�
�If you�re not too chicken,� she taunted with a smile, the two of them getting up. Maria glanced at Will, �You wanna play?�
�Why not?� The taller boy shrugged, stood up and followed his friends across the road, �Take my mind off the other crap.�
�Stop whinging, Krudski,� Scout tossed the ball to him, laughing, �and play ball.�
***
Jake�s room
A knock sounded on the door. On the bed, Hamilton stopped what he was doing � unbuttoning Jake�s shirt � and swore under his breath. Jake threw him an amused glance and sat back up, straightening her shirt and calling out, �Who is it?�
�It�s me, Malcolm.�
She glanced at Hamilton. �Hold on one sec,� she said, checking that both of them were decent before getting up to open the door, �hey, come on in.�
�Sorry to bother you,� Malcolm said with a shy smile, walking inside the room, �Hi, Hamilton.�
�What�s up,� Hamilton nodded, pulling out Jake�s computer chair for the other boy.
Malcolm sat down, biting his lower lip. �Um�� he said quietly, �I just� I came over because� I heard something about you guys leaving REACH.�
�Did Josh say something?� Jake asked immediately.
Malcolm reddened, �No. I haven�t seen him since the meeting. But um� when you guys stayed behind afterward, I� I sort of hung around outside and listened to what you were saying.�
Hamilton furrowed his brows, �Why?�
Malcolm looked down. �Can I ask you not to leave just yet?� he said quietly, without answering the question. �I know it�s a choice that should be left up to you guys, but��
�But what?� Hamilton implored, �What we do shouldn�t affect you � it doesn�t affect you staying or going.�
�It�s true that it doesn�t really affect me,� the other boy acknowledged, �but I think we all know that it will affect Josh.�
Hamilton glanced at Jake and fell silent. She contemplated Malcolm�s wistful expression a moment before speaking, �What are you saying, Malcolm?�
�I�� he absently tugged on a dreadlock. He had gotten the hairstyle over the summer, when Josh stayed with him, belonged beside him � the two of them, a couple, in Boston, and happy� at least he thought they were happy.
He blinked, realising that he�d slipped into some sort of trance, and that the other couple was still waiting. Shaking his head, he tried to pick words out from his mess of thoughts, ��I just don�t think it�s a good time to upset him right now. I mean, more than necessary.�
�It�s never a good time to upset anyone,� Jake said softly, �we�re just uncomfortable with where REACH is going��
�I know,� Malcolm interrupted, though his voice remained low, �and it�s not really my place to ask, either. All I mean is, it�s really not a good time to upset Josh now� can�t you see it? He�s sometimes hyper and sometimes depressed, he�s not eating and everybody but him can see he�s wasting away� I don�t want to risk pushing him over the edge.�
Jake nodded slowly, �I guess you�re right, but you know avoiding confrontation can�t solve whatever problem he has.�
Malcolm sighed, �I know. And I�ll try to talk to him about it, although I don�t think he listens to me anymore.� A pause, then a rueful smile, �In fact, I don�t think he ever did��
�I�m sorry about your break-up, by the way,� Jake said, and Hamilton chimed in with a �yeah, me too.�
Malcolm managed a small smile and stood up, �Thanks. Well, I better go, I just wanted to, you know, ask you to be careful around him at the moment. I don�t want anything to happen to him� I really don�t know how bad it could turn out to be.�
�Yeah,� Jake took hold of Hamilton�s hand, �we know. And you can be sure we�re not going to do anything drastic near him, okay?�
�Thanks,� Malcolm paused at the door and smiled again, shyly. Jake and Hamilton watched as he turned and walked slowly down the hall, his hands stuck deep in his pockets.
Jake emitted a small sigh, �He�s like Josh�s guardian angel.�
�Yeah, too bad about the devil sitting on his shoulder,� Hamilton said, �I swear, everything Ryder even touches must go to hell. I mean, isn�t Sean enough proof already? Now he�s gone and done the same thing to Josh.�
�I don�t think it�s quite the same thing, Hamilton,� she said, getting up to close the door, �I don�t think it�s the same thing at all.�
***
The Diner
Scout, Will, Maria and Bella came back through the doors of the diner, all looking flushed after an energetic game of two-on-two basketball. Maria and Bella had effectively creamed the guys and as they slipped back into their booth and ordered sodas, the guys were in the middle of trying to justify their loss.
�It�s our arms,� Scout explained with a twinkle in his eye, �you see, we are rowers, right? So we�ve got these big muscles�� he flexed his arms, �here, and here too,� he pointed to his calves.
Bella and Maria eyed him sceptically and began to laugh. �Just admit we�re better than you already,� Bella giggled.
�No, no,� Scout hurried to �explain�, �I�m just sayin�, you girls, being lighter, can run faster and jump higher. It�s just a natural advantage over big muscles, which have been developed in doing repetitive actions such as rowing, and as a result, has become accommodated to only those kinds of activities��
�Please, stop.� Will grimaced, �Scout, you�re getting embarrassing.�
�Lost to a couple of girls, I see,� Ryder emerged from the back of the diner, an unlit cigarette in one hand, �can�t say I�m surprised, William.�
Faye and Josh trailed behind him, identical exasperated expressions surfacing to their faces as they saw that he again stopped at Will�s table. �Give it a rest, Ryder,� Faye warned, brushing past the others and walking straight out of the diner. Scout watched her leave, the look in his eyes inert but determined.
Josh stepped out as though he was following Faye, but ended up pausing beside Ryder, smiling apologetically at Will and the others.
�I can�t believe I have to share a room with you for another year,� Will hissed, �do you even know the meaning of being civil?�
�Only to people I like,� Ryder lit up his cigarette, blithely ignoring the no smoking sign on the wall, �and believe me, you�re not one of them.�
�Just grow up, Ryder,� Maria folded her arms across her chest, �what is your problem anyway?�
Ryder gave her a quick once-over and smirked suggestively, �I don�t believe we�ve met before. Now what is a beauty like you doing with these guys, eh?�
Maria glared at him. Will sighed, �Like you said, let�s just ignore him.�
�Why?� Ryder taunted, �Think you can pretend I don�t exist and I�ll just go away?�
�Ryder�� Josh laid a hand on the other boy�s shoulder, �stop it. Let�s go.�
Ryder glanced at him, the expression in his eyes softening momentarily. With another smirk he flicked a flurry of ash on Will�s table, and turned away.
�Wanker,� Will muttered as Ryder and Josh opened the door.
�Bitch,� Ryder retorted, turning again to face him with a haughty look in his eyes.
�Scum,� Will spat out, and Maria laid a hand on his arm, �Will��
Ryder sneered, �Butt boy.�
�Hey!� Josh exclaimed, half indignant, half simply trying to soften the mood. Ryder didn�t so much turn and look at him, �You know you�re excused from all my queer insults.�
�Thanks,� Josh said dryly, �can we go, please?�
Will stood up, his fists clenching at his sides, �I�m warning you, Ryder��
Ryder faced him squarely, his expression amused and nonchalant, �Or what are you gonna do, roomie?�
�Fuck you, Ryder!� Will shouted, stepping forward and grabbing the other boy by the collar, �There�s no way I�ll let you live in my room for another day!�
�And how exactly do you think you�re going to achieve that fantastic goal?� Ryder blew a strand of smoke in Will�s face, shrugging away from his grasp.
Something dark flashed in Josh�s eyes, like a shadow passing in emerald water. He pursed his lips, crossed his arms, and spoke, �He�s going to swap rooms with me.�
Both Ryder and Will whirled on him. �Are you serious?� Will asked quickly, unable to believe his good luck.
�What do you think you�re doing, Joshua?� Ryder growled, �What if I don�t let you?�
Josh glared at him, �Why wouldn�t you? Are you actually having fun where you are?�
�Yes,� Ryder said stubbornly.
�Come on,� Josh narrowed his eyes, �don�t you want to see what it�s like, rooming with someone who doesn�t hate you for once?�
Ryder rolled his eyes, �It�s not like jailbait could do anything to me.�
�Will, you could fart on his face when he�s asleep,� Maria suddenly said. Everyone turned, looking at her incredulously, and she shrugged, �It�s just a suggestion.�
��I can�t believe you just said that.� After a stunned pause, Ryder muttered, �Suddenly I don�t find you quite so attractive.�
�Charming, Maria,� Bella wrinkled her nose. But there was a small mischievous glint in her eye as she turned to Will, �you could, you know.�
Josh and Scout smiled. Will couldn�t help but laugh. Even Ryder cracked a smile.
Part 6
Rawley Lake
The trees growing on the bank remained as lush and green as the students had left them three weeks ago. Falling through the thick foliage were specks of sunlight, just enough to lend a bit of warmth to the otherwise cool and secluded clearing, where Finn�s first class of the semester was being held.
�Welcome back, everyone,� the teacher said, pacing up and down amongst the students who were sitting scattered under the trees. �I hope you all had a good summer. You�re juniors this year, which means you�ve been removed from the bottom of the food chain that is high school��
A smattering of laughter went up from the students. �Thank god for that!� exclaimed Hamilton.
�You�ll always be a runt wherever you are,� Ryder whispered from his seat some distance away, just loud enough for Hamilton to hear. Hamilton narrowed his eyes at him and Ryder went back to listening to Finn, smiling triumphantly.
�But it also means that I�ll expect more from you,� continued Finn, looking over their faces in turn, �do you understand? As soon as you set foot in my door, I�ll expect you to live and breathe literature. I expect you to read, discuss and analyse like adults.� He paused, then said, �Most of all, I expect insight. Insight into why characters do the things they do, why events happen as they happen� why life is portrayed in the way it does.�
Will nodded slowly to himself, casting a quick glance in Ryder�s direction. Ryder caught the brief gaze, and smirked.
Will rolled his eyes and looked away from the guy who � he couldn�t help a smile every time the thought came into his head � was only going to be his roommate for a few more days. No point in letting Ryder piss him off any further. Instead he took to scrutinising the faces in the crowd, the people he had come to know over the last year. The preppy group of girls led by the ever more sophisticated Caroline Busse; the guys on the crew team; flame-headed Lena Fletcher, who was conversing beneath her breath with Jake; Jake who held discreetly onto Hamilton�s hand; Paige who sat down next to Scout with a hopeful look in her eyes; Scout who stared across the glittering lake, looking for a familiar head of short blonde hair�
Will smiled to himself: Books, insight, not to mention a new roommate� he liked how the year was shaping up.
***
Finn�s Office
�I�ve gotten consent from all of you,� Finn said, looking at the four faces lined up in front of him. Will looked ecstatic, Josh was expressionless; Ryder seemed as though he couldn�t care less, and Malcolm�
Well, Malcolm looked heartbroken. His gazed focused on the boy who, noticing the scrutiny, nevertheless managed to give a feeble smile. Finn raised an eyebrow and continued, �This is your last chance. You sure you want to switch rooms for the rest of the school year?�
�Yes,� Will said emphatically; �Yeah,� Josh said; Ryder shrugged nonchalantly. Malcolm paused for a moment, inconspicuously glancing sideways at Josh. The dark-haired boy noticed and looked back, his gaze slightly apologetic but unwavering. Malcolm swallowed, looked up at Finn, and slowly nodded his head.
�Okay,� Finn said, �I�ll take care of the paperwork. I suggest you move this weekend, for there would be less disruption than during the week.�
***
New Rawley Bus Stop
Jake checked her watch and nervously chewed on the inside of her cheek, �The bus should�ve been here ages ago.�
�It�ll get here,� Hamilton consoled her. �So you�re getting changed at the airport?�
She looked down at her boy clothes, �It�s probably the best way.�
�How nervous are you?� he asked, holding tightly onto her hand.
�Not too much,� she said, �I mean, all I�ve got to do is get up there and tell the truth, right?�
�Again, I�m really sorry I can�t be there with you,� he said earnestly, �make sure you call me when anything at all happens.�
�Anything at all.� She kissed him on the lips, and he kissed her back, slowly.
They pulled apart only when they heard the unmistakable sound of the bus pulling up. She managed a small smile, �So� this is it.�
�Good luck,� he said, following her to the doors, �call me when you get to the airport.�
�I will,� she promised, kissing him again.
�Kick his butt for me,� he grinned, �straight into prison.�
�I�ll try my best,� she laughed as she boarded the bus, �I�ll see ya when I see ya.�
�Hey,� he grabbed hold of her wrist. She turned around, puzzled, and he offered her a brilliant smile, �Come back to me, Jake.�
She grinned and nodded, �I will.�
He watched as the bus pulled away, with Jake unsteadily walking down the aisle, waving, trying to keep him in sight for as long as possible. He waved back, stood as the bus slowly climbed up the gentle slope of Main Street, and watched until it went out of view altogether.
*Will�s voiceover starts*
�No matter what the scenario, no matter who is concerned, I have found that involvement always comes in shades and degrees. It�s not as simple as the difference between the words �being involved� or �not being involved�, involvement is, like many other things in life, a whole spectrum of grey between the absolutes of black and white. We can try to control the nuances, the subtleties of being involved in anything or with anyone, calculate the degrees of involvement� but often, the results even surprise ourselves.�
***
The Gas Station
�She scores!� Bella shouted with a smile, catching the ball as it fell through the hoop for the umpteenth time, �And McGrail is left in the dust again!�
�Bella, you�re a freak,� Sean said, admiringly. �Aren�t you tired yet? You�ve been playing, like, for two days straight.�
�I�ve been bone-tired,� she answered, dribbling the ball up and down the driveway, �I didn�t do a thing all summer and that was what made me tired. You know what? I�m sick of that. I�m sick of sitting around feeling sorry for myself and have my life go nowhere.� She swirled around, her hair fanning out behind her like a sudden flare of light, �It�s time for change, Sean. It�s time to live my life.�
�Bella, what happened when you were in Carson?� he couldn�t help but ask, watching her stand in the bright afternoon sun, carelessly luminous yet strangely far away, a little unreal, almost blurry around the edges.
She smiled, and something sparkled in her eyes. �Somebody taught me a thing or two,� she merely said, passing him the ball.
He dribbled a few times and attempted a shot, which was unsuccessful. �Was it a guy?� he asked curiously, �Did you guys go out or something?�
She smiled again, cryptically. Stepping forward, she darted around him, stealing the ball and leaving him in the dust, soft strands of her hair brushing past his bare arms. �Let�s just say, I�ve never loved being single�� she said, jumping up so high that, for a moment, she seemed as though she broke free of the bounds of gravity. She was floating, suspended in midair, a fragment in time: ��as much as I do now.�
And she dunked the ball through the hoop once more
He could have caught the ball as it fell but he did not, letting it bounce by his foot and roll toward the street. She fell toward earth, landed nimbly on both feet, and chased after the ball. He turned and watched, wonderingly, at her retreating back; she seemed like a pixie, a child of the earth, a sparkling muse; the figure of a girl whom he�d begun to see again in a different light.
