YA3:10 - Tender is the Night

Featured songs from this episode are available for download. Just right click and choose 'Save Target As'.

Honey God by The Feelers ('performed' by Amnesia)
Teardrop by Massive Attack

Author's note: The dates and times are especially fuzzy in this episode and I apologise if anything seems illogical or out of sequence. Title not associated with F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'Tender is the Night'.
Additional disclaimer: The two songs that Amnesia play in this episode are not original pieces, even though it is made to look like the songs belong to them in all senses. �Honey God� is by The Feelers and �Passive Aggressive� is by Placebo.
Acknowledgements: First of all a huge thank you to Sharon (a.k.a. Jake) for beta-reading; and again to Rhysenn, whose wonderful HP fics have prompted me to take much more care with my own writing style.

Part 1

Teaser

Bella�s room

*Placebo�s �Every You Every Me� starts with the opening fade-in*

Bella Banks looked up from her homework with a start.

Shaking her head, she wondered why she suddenly felt strange, as though miniscule electric shocks were running up and down the back of her neck. Frowning slightly, she glanced around, absently taking in the familiar surroundings of the bedroom that she shared with her sister Grace. It was late and she had stayed up to finish a history report for school that was due the next day.

Only a desk lamp remained on, throwing most of the room into darkness. Her eyes travelled over the room - messy on her sister�s side, immaculate on hers - without really seeing, her brows furrowed in concentration. Something felt weird.

Her eyes fell on the window. If she leaned back slightly, she could see - through the crack in her gauzy curtains - the moon outside, partially concealed by dark clouds. As she looked she thought she heard something, and she stood up, walking quietly to the window. Parting the curtains with one hand, she peeked outside, pressing her forehead to the cool glass.

--�Sucker love is heaven sent / you pucker up, our passion's spent / My heart�s a tart, your body's rent / my body's broken, yours is spent��

On the street beneath her window, a black BMW convertible was parked with its top down. Bella recognised the car, it belonged to Faye Archer, her friend who went to Rawley Girls� Academy on the edge of town.

The street lamps were all lit, of course. But the intricate network of brightness and shadows that formed from the light falling forth, meant that the car was rather conveniently concealed under a veil of moving darkness. As Bella squinted to see better, the clouds overhead suddenly shifted, a torrent of silvery moonlight cascading down.

--�Carve your name into my arm / instead of stressed, I lie here charmed / Cos there's nothing else to do, every me and every you��

Faye wasn�t in the car. Instead, Bella saw the unmistakable harsh profile of Faye�s brother, Ryder Forrest. He was leaning back in the driver�s seat, and even from the distance Bella could�ve sworn he was smirking. And it wasn�t hard to see why: her sister, Grace Banks, seemed to have melted all over him.

One of Ryder�s hands tangled itself in the tousled mess that was Grace�s hair and they were making out with a ferocity that made Bella blush violently and step away from the window, the curtain falling back into place and shielding them from view. But the image of them lingered before her eyes a second longer than she would have liked, the picture of Grace pressing up to Ryder and his other hand fumbling beneath her shirt a little too graphic and more than a little nauseating.

--�Sucker love, a box I choose / no other box I choose to use / Another love I would abuse / no circumstances could excuse��

� Oh, no.� She whispered to herself, pressing a hand to her temple.

Although she and Grace hardly had the same circle of friends, it was still horrible to see her little sister fooling around with the person she liked the least in this whole town. Granted, Grace fooled around with a lot of people in this town� but Ryder was different. Bella hated him with a passion - he was the kind of guy whom every Townie girl got told they should avoid, but his charms usually meant that the advice was heard then promptly discarded.

--�In the shape of things to come / too much poison come undone / Cos there's nothing else to do / every me and every you / Every me and every you / every me��

Bella couldn�t understand how the two of them could have shared the same blood. It wasn�t that she didn�t love her sister� she did, but she didn�t like Grace much. Love and like were very different things, and although Bella loved Grace with all the love that came from sisterhood and having to mother her all those years they were growing up, she had never really bothered to get to know her.

Without her conscious self really noticing and perhaps driven by something almost like morbid curiosity, she stepped gingerly back up to the window and peeked out again.

--�Sucker love who's known to swing / prone to cling and waste these things / Pucker up for heaven's sake / there's never been so much at stake��

Good, Ryder�s hand was out of Grace�s shirt. And it looked like she was backing away� no, wait, she leaned forward and kissed him again. Bella grimaced. Okay, now Grace was walking away and Ryder was lighting up a cigarette. Something flickered like lightning in his hand and it took Bella a moment to realise that it was the silver lighter that he always carried around with him. With a sense of detachment she watched him inhale deeply on the cigarette then breathe out, a thin white cloud of smoke hazing up the air before him.

--�I served my head up on a plate / it's only comfort, calling late / Cos there's nothing else to do / every me and every you / Every me and every you / every me��

Bella�s gaze shifted and she spied Grace walking toward the front door, smoothing back her hair and rearranging her shirt. Turning, she waved at Ryder and he lifted a couple of fingers in a careless salute before stepping on the accelerator, a sudden squeal of tires puncturing the quiet of the night as the car zoomed down the street, heading in the direction of Rawley Academy.

--�Like the naked leads the blind / I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind / Sucker love I always find / someone to bruise and leave behind��

Bella watched the car with a frown until it was out of sight. With a resolute and disgusted shake of the head, she turned and walked toward the door.

--�All alone in space and time / there's nothing here but what here's mine / Something borrowed, something blue / every me and every you / Every me and every you / every me��

Part 2 - Opening credits and theme song

Bella�s gas station

Grace let herself in soundlessly, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Leaning back on it, she ran a hand over her flushed cheeks and exhaled, trying to return her breathing pattern to normal. Immersing herself in the darkness, she grinned to herself as she recalled the lopsided smile that Ryder tossed her way before speeding off into the night.

*Will�s voiceover starts*

�Tender is the night, or so they say. Maybe it�s true; strange, crazy events do seem more likely to happen when they lie wrapped in shadows. It�s an almost idyllic saying, making night tender and darkness gentle, when we all know there�s more to the night than simple comfort. Sometimes, under the cover of darkness, we find out more things than we have ever bargained for.�

The light on the stairwell snapped on without warning, and she stifled an exclamation of surprise when she saw Bella walk down the stairs, a stern expression on her face.

� Hey.� Grace tried to sound nonchalant as she walked forward.

� What were you doing with Ryder?� Bella made an effort to keep her voice down, as not to disturb their father sleeping upstairs, but her tone remained sharp nevertheless.

Grace narrowed her eyes, � You were spying on me?�

Bella had the decency to look embarrassed, � Grace, you shouldn�t be hanging around with him� and god, what were you doing?�

� Knitting a sweater,� the sarcastic retort came fast, � what did it look like I was doing?� Heading into the kitchen, Grace opened the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice. � And what�s it to you?�

Bella followed her into the kitchen and handed her a glass when she saw that Grace was about to drink straight from the carton. Grace rolled her eyes and sat down next to the kitchen table, filling the glass silently.

Bella sighed when she saw that Grace wasn�t going to make the effort of getting up and putting the juice back in the fridge, and she did it herself, as she spoke, � I don�t want to see you with him.�

� Excuse me?� Grace snorted, � Since when did I have to have your permission to hang out with who I want to hang out with?�

Bella paused. � He�s bad news, Grace.�

Grace glanced at her over the top of the glass, � He�s not that bad.�

� Grace!� Bella put her hands on her hips, � This is Ryder Forrest we�re talking about.�

� Sean hangs out with him all the time.� Her sister replied defensively.

� Sean, in case you haven�t noticed,� Bella retorted, �Hasn�t been a good judge of character lately.�

� So?� Grace raised an eyebrow as she finished the juice in a few gulps and put the glass down, � I just don�t see what the big deal is. You never cared about who I hung out with before.�

� But this is Ryder!� Bella exclaimed.

� And it�s none of your business.� Grace replied crisply, standing up and walking away.

Bella�s hand closed over the dirty glass on the kitchen table and asked quietly, � Are you sleeping with him?�

Grace turned, her eyes narrowing to catlike slits in the darkness.

Bella looked away, � I worry about you, that�s all.�

� That is so none of your business.� Grace stressed, � But so what if I am? What�s it to you?� She smirked slightly, � It�s not like you�re going to stop me.�

� Oh, Grace.� Bella sat down by the table, running a hand wearily across her face.

� Don�t Oh Grace me,� her sister replied crossly, � I�m old enough to know what I�m doing.�

� And what are you doing?� Bella looked up, her eyes flashing with anger, � Because to me it looks a lot like sleeping around with half the guys in this town!�

Grace stared at her, her cheeks draining of colour.

Bella�s eyes widened as she clamped a hand to her mouth, � Oh, my god, I�m sorry�� Standing up hurriedly, she tried to explain herself, � I don�t know what came over me, oh Gracie, I�m so sorry, I didn�t mean that��

� No, you did.� Grace said dully, � I know you did. That�s what everyone thinks, isn�t it?�

Bella shook her head silently, still in shock from her sudden outburst. What on earth possessed her to do it? She couldn�t believe she had just said that to her little sister.

True as it may have been.

Under the single light in the stairwell, Grace�s face was contorted with shadows. With a heavy heart Bella saw the look in her eyes harden. It suddenly occurred to her that her sister was really just another complete stranger.

� Well, screw them.� Grace spat out, � Like I cared anyway.� Without another word she turned and flounced up the stairs, closing the bedroom door with more force than was necessary.

* * *

Rawley Boy�s Academy, Finn�s classroom

The afternoon sunlight poured through the windows in bright shafts, catching floating dust motes in the air, casting a black shadow from Finn onto the blackboard behind him. He had on his glasses and was leafing through papers, absently rubbing a hand over his chin.

He looked up as he heard the door to the classroom open. Will Krudski sauntered in, striding quickly across the room, carrying his lanky frame with considerable grace. � You wanted to see me?� He asked.

� Yeah, sit down, Will.� Finn nodded at a desk closest to him, and Will promptly sat down on it, � What�s up?� He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, � This isn�t about the production, is it? I thought we worked things out.�

� No,� Finn put his pen down, � you�re doing fine with the production. And your schoolwork, I might add.� He smiled, � I�m very proud of you, Will. I didn�t really think you could juggle school and the production and crew all at once, but I�m very pleasantly surprised. You�re doing very well so far.�

Will shrugged, his eyes clouding over for a moment, � Well, I took your advice and sorted out my priorities.�

Finn nodded, � You�re doing a great job. But that�s not what I wanted to talk to you about�� He was interrupted as the door opened again and Josh Sutherland walked in. � Josh, great.� The teacher grinned, � Have a seat.�

Will watched as the other boy perched himself on another desk. For the life of him he couldn�t understand how anyone could be wearing black all over, not to mention long sleeves and army boots, in the sort of warm weather that they�d been having. Still, Josh didn�t look like he was going to fall into a heat-induced faint anytime soon, a remarkable feat, really.

Josh smiled at him by way of acknowledgement and turned back to Finn, � What�s happening?�

Finn stood up and walked around his desk, leaning back against it as he scanned the two of them, � Each year, NYU hosts a literature symposium for high school students. Top English scholars from select schools are invited to attend, and this year Rawley can send two students. Ms Braden over at the Girls� Academy and I have been discussing this for a while now and we think you two will best represent the school at something like this.�

� Us?� Josh asked, baffled, � What about Faye? She�s getting better grades than me.�

Finn shrugged, � Not according to our records. You�re averaging slightly higher than her� of course, we have to take into account that you�ve only transferred here not long ago, but looking at averages, you�re coming top in the junior class, and she�s a close second.�

Josh tried not to look too pleased, � Cool.�

� Anyway,� Finn continued, � The symposium is this weekend, and it�s going to be at NYU, surprisingly enough. There�ll be quite a few writing workshops being run and I hear there�ll be a lot of interesting guest speakers. Philip Kerr had been confirmed; so has Ida Gaskins, she�s going to be commenting on Shakespeare; Margaret Atwood looks like a maybe at this point�� his eyes shone as he counted the possibilities, � It�s going to be an excellent opportunity.�

� This weekend?� Josh repeated, furrowing his brows.

Finn nodded, � From Friday afternoon to Sunday night.� Seeing the look on Josh�s face, he hastened to say, � Yes, I�m aware that it unfortunately clashes with the Junior-Senior prom, and I�ll understand if you don�t want to miss that, but I do want you to think about it seriously. This is a great opportunity��

� Oh, but you see,� Josh sighed regretfully, � I would skip the prom, I really would, I�m not that fussed about it and this sounds great. But I can�t� my band�s playing at the prom, we were booked three months in advance.�

Finn�s face fell, � I forgot about that.�

� I�m sorry.� Josh said, � I wish I could go��

� No, I�m sorry.� Finn sighed, � I should�ve remembered about that. Well, it looks like you�re out of the question. What about Faye? Do you think she�ll be interested in skipping the prom to go to the symposium?�

Josh shrugged, � I�ll ask her, but I wouldn�t put money on it. Last time I saw her, she was spending a fortune on her dress.�

Finn grinned wryly, � It�s okay. Sorry to have taken up your time, Josh.�

� No worries.� The dark-haired boy said lightly, hopping off the desk, � I�ll ask Faye about the symposium thing and send her your way if she wants to go.�

Will turned back to Finn as Josh let himself out, � That sounds great, Finn. Um� are there any costs that I need to cover or anything? Is it going to interfere with the production, going for the entire weekend? Are you coming too?�

Finn grinned, � Whoa, one question at a time. No, the school will take care of all the costs incurred, and yes, I will be going with you.�

� Production.� Will reminded him.

� No problems there.� The teacher said confidently, � After all, most of the cast are upperclassmen, and seeing that the prom is on Saturday night, the entire weekend is pretty much unusable for rehearsals anyway.�

� Cool.� Will grinned, � This sounds fun, I can�t wait.�

* * *

Faye and Leah�s room

Scout Calhoun looked up from his seat on the blow-up armchair as Faye Archer breezed into the room, planting an airy kiss on his forehead before falling into his lap dramatically, � I�m back.�

� What did the doctor say?� He asked, realigning so that they were both half-leaning on the back of the armchair, facing each other.

� Totally healed.� She grinned, running a hand experimentally up her side, � Painless and fussless.�

� I don�t think there�s such a word as �fussless�.� He reminded her, smiling.

She threw him an amused look, � Oh, you just don�t know of it.�

� Is that right?� He murmured, leaning in to kiss her. She smiled and wrapped an arm around him. He pulled back slightly, watching her violet eyes shift out of focus, her lips curved in a smile.

� This doesn�t hurt?� He whispered, running a finger up her side.

� Nope.� She whispered back.

He placed his palm on her ribcage, tracing one of the fine straight bones with his thumb, � This doesn�t hurt?�

� Nope.� She shivered a little under his touch.

� And this�� he leaned so close that his lips flickered over hers as he spoke, � doesn�t��

He didn�t get to finish because she leaned forward ever so slightly and kissed him, placing her hand behind his neck and pulling him to her.

* * *

Carson, Dr Perkins� office

� I think it�s because everyone made such a big deal out of the fact that I wasn�t raped.� Jake Pratt said thoughtfully, tugging on her hair, � I could always see it on their faces, it�s never about what I went through that mattered, it was really just� did he go through with it? Did my mom walk in on time?� She shrugged, � It was never about me, really.�

Her psychiatrist Dr Perkins nodded thoughtfully, � And you resented that.�

� Well, I thought they were missing the point entirely.� Jake settled back into the comfortable armchair in which she resided. � It�s like there�s whole new level of trauma that needs to be dealt with if I had been raped, and since I wasn�t, they assume the trauma is pretty much nonexistent.�

Hamilton Fleming, who sat next to Jake, glanced from his girlfriend to the psychiatrist and back again. His face held no expression of great interest� in fact, it even looked slightly bored. He was fidgeting a little, trying to keep his attention to what was being said, but since a lot of the conversation was introspective silence, broken occasionally with questions being answered by questions, he was finding it hard to concentrate.

� But you do realise that the trauma would probably have been a lot more severe if you had been raped?� Perkins asked, nibbling on his pen.

Jake nodded slowly, � Yeah, I do know I�m lucky my mom walked in when she did.�

� How�s your mom coping?� He asked.

She glanced at Hamilton, frowning, � I don�t know.�

� Grant was her boyfriend at the time,� Perkins pushed his untidy dark hair out of his eyes, � How do you think it made her feel?�

� Well, she got really mad at first.� She said quietly, � Then, when she calmed down, it was like it took too much effort to make conversation beyond everyday small talk. When I left London we were barely talking to each other because�� shrugging, she continued, � I guess we were too embarrassed.�

Perkins surveyed her coolly, and she looked down, � I haven�t really thought about what she felt. We just stopped discussing anything to do with Grant��

He nodded sagely, writing something down on his notepad.

She continued talking, looking hesitant, � She calls me more often than she used to, and for a while she really wanted to make me go to Germany, where she was doing a play�� she trailed off.

� But you�d rather stay here.� Perkins said gently, smiling a little and glancing in Hamilton�s direction, � That was even before you guys had made up, right?�

Hamilton blinked, � Well, there was that big scene at the airport.�

� But yeah, in the end I stayed.� Jake grinned.

Perkins smiled again, scribbling in the notepad. � So how are things between the two of you now?� He asked without looking up, � Are you feeling any improvement, Jacqueline?�

� A little.� She admitted, � All this talking is working on me.�

� Good.� He said with a small grin, his pen still scrawling away.

� But�� she trailed off, leaving an expectant silence.

Hamilton and Perkins both looked at her, � Yes?� Perkins prompted.

She shrugged self-consciously, � I don�t know, I feel like I should be getting better faster or something, you know?�

Perkins leaned forward, as did Hamilton, � What do you mean?�

She shrugged again, � I can� feel the fear going away.� She glanced at Hamilton and he smiled at her, the smile that used to make her melt and now made her ache inside. � But� I still get scared. Hamilton�s been so supportive and I feel like it should be helping, but it�s turning out to be��

Hamilton frowned, his brows knitting themselves together.

Perkins leaned back, his eyes darkening to a deep emerald colour behind round wire-rim glasses; � You�re saying that having Hamilton close by is� distracting?�

� What do you mean by that, Jake?� Hamilton demanded.

She looked at him and pleaded, " God, please don�t get mad.�

� Then tell me what you�re talking about.� He replied.

She looked down at her hands, � I keep on feeling like I should be on my guard when you�re around, Hamilton. I�m nervous when you�re near me because I don�t know how I might react if you come closer.�

He pursed his lips, throwing a disappointed and somewhat hurt glance at the thoughtful-looking psychiatrist before looking away.

* * *

Rawley Boys� Academy, common room

The Commons was crowded, students trickling back from dinner to settle down for an evening with their peers, as usual. The TV was on in a corner of the room, predictably tuned to WWF wrestling, and a ring of guys had already gathered around it, hooting and cheering on the long-haired, distinctly evil-looking musclemen. Others were sitting around the bookcases, trying to get through homework en masse.

Will, Jake, Hamilton, Josh, Scout and Faye occupied a couch near the windows, sitting or standing, all hunched over a large sheet of paper that was spread over the coffee table. A diagram was crudely drawn on it, and could be vaguely made out to be a plan of the school auditorium stage. Will was gesturing energetically with a pencil in hand, � I just don�t see a feasible way of having thirty people flooding the stage practically simultaneously.�

� Well, that�s what I�ve been saying.� Faye said, � You don�t have to do that. If you turn on a black light and do that continuous flickering thing, it should be easy enough to do with less people, and slower.�

� It will be a lot more scary too.� Josh nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, � We can easily find a way to make it more grotesque��

� Grotesque?� Jake interjected, � Do we want grotesque?�

� Grotesque is one of the key elements of the Gothic style,� he replied with confidence, � I don�t mean blood and gore and such, I just mean� the lighting will add to the mysterious and desolate effect.�

� It would make a big impact.� Hamilton said thoughtfully, � I like it, it starts the whole show with a bang.�

� Plus, it fits in with the set.� Faye mused, � And the music��

� That reminds me,� Will interrupted, turning to Josh, � How�s the music going?�

The other boy examined his nails as he spoke; today they were painted shiny gunmetal grey. � It�s going okay. I heard most of the arrangements last week and they�re starting to really come together.�

� And the band?� Will inquired, � You�ve got to remember that opening night�s two weeks away, pretty much everything has to be finalised now.�

� It�s all settled.� Josh reassured him, � the band�s coming this weekend for the prom, remember? I�ve asked them to stay behind on Sunday so we could practice for the production.�

Scout glanced at Faye as Josh said �the prom� but she was too absorbed in scrutinising the diagram to notice.

� But they know what they�re doing?� Will asked, still looking panicky.

Josh smiled at him soothingly, � They know what they�re doing. We just need a bit of practice.�

Will nodded, � That�s about it, right? We�ll have a look at the black lights at the next rehearsal.�

� So we�re done?� Hamilton asked, standing up.

� For the time being.� Will agreed, � But we�ll have to have another meeting soon. Don't forget that��

� The production is two weeks away.� Everyone else finished for him, groaning. � Honestly, Will, we get it.� Jake rolled her eyes, holding out a hand to Hamilton, who pulled her to her feet, � Just say the time and we'll be there."

Hamilton nodded in agreement, " But uh, we gotta go, we still haven�t had dinner yet� came back from therapy a bit late.�

� Therapy?� Josh repeated, looking at them inquisitively.

� Uh�� Jake muttered. She had almost forgotten that he did not know that she was a girl. The whole near-rape drama had pretty much drawn to a close by the time he arrived at Rawley, so Josh in fact knew very little about their needing therapy or any of it, unlike the others. Who had been with them the whole way, through the confusion and euphoria, the break-ups and get-togethers, the laughter and the tears.

� We, uh, have issues.� Hamilton coughed nervously.

Josh looked as though he wanted to inquire more, but Faye came to the rescue as she placed a deft hand on his shoulder and turned him around, � Josh, didn�t you say you needed to talk to me?�

� Oh, that�s right.� He remembered. Jake and Hamilton chose the opportunity to slip out of the common room.

It wasn�t that they didn�t trust Josh with the secret or that they feared intolerance from him, but pretty much everyone had felt that the less people who knew about Jake being a girl, the better. Shared information - particularly juicy secrets such as this - did have uncanny tendency to spread like wildfire, particularly in the enclosed space of boarding schools. And it wasn't just run-of-the-mill gossip either, Jake's residency at Rawley itself constantly remained at stake - it was sometimes hard for everyone to remember the seriousness of the situation.

� Literature symposium in New York this weekend.� Josh told Faye, � I would go, but I�m stuck playing at the prom. Finn asked if you wanted to go.�

� I�m going.� Will supplied from one side before wandering off to the group of guys gathered around the TV set.

Faye raised an eyebrow at Josh, � You mean, instead of the prom?�

He grinned, � I told him it wasn�t very likely.�

� No.� She agreed, � Not at all. Asking a girl to skip her own prom is like�� She paused slightly, not sure what sort of simile she could spin out of this one and decided not to bother, � well, it�s very difficult.�

� I figured.� He shrugged and headed for the doors, � Well, if you change your mind Finn said to go find him.�

� Thanks.� She replied, watching him turn the corner. Turning back to look at Scout, she was surprised to see him watching her intently. � What?�

� So, what are our plans?� He asked.

� Plans?� She raised an eyebrow.

� For the prom?� He said slowly, looking at the surprised expression on her face, � Like, when am I picking you up? What sort of corsage do you want? It�s two days away and why haven�t we talked about this earlier?� Watching her lips fall into a round �o� of surprise, he added, � And why do I get the feeling that something�s terribly wrong?�

� Scout�� Disbelief made her voice sharp, � don�t you know?�

� Know what?� He asked, suddenly nervous.

� God, you don�t know, do you?� She exclaimed, her eyes wide.

� Know WHAT?� He demanded again. The look on her face was making him uncomfortable� he was sure that she had some sort of strange bombshell to drop, and he wasn�t at all sure that he wanted to hear what it was.

She stared at him, � You can�t go.�

He hadn�t really expected that outright. � What?� He exclaimed, � Why? What?�

� You can�t go.� She repeated, � You�re a sophomore. You aren�t invited.�

� But I�ll be your date.� He said, nonplussed.

� You can�t be my date.� She was still staring at him, wondering how on earth he couldn�t have known about this, � There�re rules. Only juniors and seniors are invited, and you can�t bring dates from other schools or even from other grades.�

� What?� He raised his voice, �You�re kidding! That�s the stupidest thing I�ve ever heard!�

� This isn�t the Cotillion or the Halloween Ball, Scout.� She said gently, � The school has really strict policies about the prom. It�s strictly a Rawley upperclassmen affair��

� But they can�t do that!� He interrupted angrily, � That�s insane! What do you mean you can�t take dates from other grades? Who came up with these rules?�

� Not me.� She said dully, � Scout, how could you not know? I never mentioned it because I thought all this time that you knew we weren�t going together, I mean, everyone must�ve known ��

� Well I didn�t.� He said tightly, � I made plans already.�

She closed her eyes briefly, � You didn�t.�

� I did.� He sighed, � God, now I feel like an idiot.�

� And I feel really bad,� she said softly, � What plans did you make?�

� Well, it�s not important now, is it?� He said sullenly, looking down.

She bit her lip and put an arm around him, leaning her forehead against his shoulder. But before she could say anything comforting, a shadow fell across the two of them and they looked up.

Finn shook his head in exasperation, � Miss Archer, how many times do I have to tell you that the boys� dormitory is out of bounds?�

� But�� Faye started to say something but he shook his head, � I know you were here before for the stage committee meeting, but it�s pretty obvious that it�s finished. You better get back to the Girls� Academy.�

Faye pouted, but knew better than to argue with the teacher. She slid off the couch and turned back to Scout, genuine worry shining in her eyes, � I�ll talk to you later, okay?�

He nodded numbly but suddenly looked up, his eyes fastening upon Finn in a desperate sort of new hope, � Finn, are you in charge of the prom at all?�

� Not really.� Finn frowned, � Why?�

Scout leaned forward, � Is there any chance that I might be able to get in?�

Finn gazed at him for a second before realisation dawned in his eyes, � Oh��

� Is there?� Scout asked again, vague optimism shimmering in his expression.

Finn paused, � I wish I could help, Scout, but��

� The answer�s no.� Scout finished quietly.

� I�m sorry.� Finn shook his head, � The rules are very strict, it�s the most formal event of the year, the school is adamant about keeping it self-contained and guests are extremely select.�

� Well, it�s stupid.� Scout said with vehemence. Faye sighed and ran both hands through her hair, a gesture that he had come to know as a sure sign that she was distressed. Since that didn�t happen very often with Faye, he fought back an urge to reach out and comfort her, despite his own sorry predicament.

� I agree.� Finn couldn�t help saying, � But unfortunately, I don�t have the power to change the rules.�

Scout nodded slowly and Faye leaned in, pecking him briefly on the lips, � Talk later.�

� Yeah, sure.� Dejection weighed heavily on his voice as he watched her walk away with the teacher in tow.

Part 3

Bella�s gas station

The sun had begun its slow descent from the Zenith hours ago, though the day hardly looked as though it was starting to end. Summer was approaching with quick and silent grace that almost resembled a feral animal of some sort, its furtive presence only sometimes betrayed by the rapidly lengthening days and balmy breezes that brushed across skin like dry, warm fingers.

Bella looked across the road at Friendly�s, where Ryder and Sean McGrail sat, their postures languid behind the glass windows. Sean was gesturing something and Ryder was stirring his coffee, a small sneer on his face as he watched the other boy recount whatever it was in muted detail.

Bella set her jaw and lowered the hood of the car she was working on. Steeling herself, she strode quickly across the road and pushed open the door to the diner. Ryder and Sean did not notice her, but she walked up to them and planted herself firmly in front of their booth, her arms folded across her chest.

� And then she was�� Sean stopped mid-sentence when he felt eyes on his back and turned around quizzically, � Bella! Hey.�

Ryder looked up with a slight smirk, � Hullo, luv. What can we do for you today?�

Bella ignored his greeting, � What do you think you�re doing with my sister?� She demanded, eyes blazing.

Ryder raised an eyebrow, � I should think that�s very obvious.�

� Ugh.� Bella resisted a grimace, � Ryder, you� you are despicable.�

" Point to the girl who knows the big words." He looked vaguely amused, � Despicable, am I? Grace didn�t seem to think so.�

� Don�t touch her.� Bella said through gritted teeth, � Or I�ll make you pay, I swear.�

� No can do, love.� Ryder stirred his coffee some more, looking thoughtful. As an afterthought he added with a sly grin, � And way too late, in any case.�

� I can�t believe you!� Bella exploded, throwing her hands in the air in an abject gesture of disgust, � You know I hate you, right? And I can�t believe Gracie would go out with someone as horrible� disgusting� as you!�

� Whoa, Bella, calm down�� Sean tried to intervene but she ignored him as she leaned over the counter, � I�m warning you, Ryder, stay away from her.�

� And if I don�t, I suppose you�re going to�� he raised an eyebrow, unfazed as he took a sip of coffee, � Do what, exactly?�

His cool grey eyes were not doing a very good job of concealing his amusement, and she felt an angry blush crawl up her cheeks. � Just do it.� She said through gritted teeth, and before he could reply she turned on her heels, the bell above the door tinkling as she threw it open and ran back into the gas station without a backward glance. Both Ryder and Sean stared after her.

Sean turned back to Ryder, baffled, � Okay, what the hell was that about?�

� Something about Grace Banks, I gather.� Ryder said idly.

Sean watched him and said, sounding a trifle accusatory, � You didn't tell me you were dating her."

Ryder shrugged, � I don�t think dating is the word I would use.�

* * *

Rawley Boys� Academy

The halls were crowded, as school had been just let out, throngs of students swarming through the halls as they ran back and forth from classrooms to dorms, tackling, ducking, laughing and calling to each other across the hallways in displays of youthful exuberance.

Josh carefully threaded his way through the people, heading for the music rooms and hoping to catch some alone time to practice before the band got here. Turning a corner, the noise from the main hallways diminished somewhat and he heard someone call out his name from behind. Turning, he saw Malcolm Harding, one of his closer friends at Rawley, running toward him. � Josh, do you have a minute?� He asked, slightly out of breath.

Josh smiled, � Sure. What�s up?�

Malcolm shuffled his feet uncomfortably, � I was wondering��

Josh arched an eyebrow when the other boy stopped talking, looking down.

� I mean, I know this is kinda last minute and everything�� Malcolm mumbled after a significant silence, watching the floor intently, �� and I know I really should�ve done it sooner and I tried to a couple of times but you were always heading off somewhere and I was going to a few days ago but I kinda got nervous and um�� he stopped suddenly, aware that he was babbling.

Josh looked at him quizzically, � Excuse me?�

� Want to come to the prom with me?� Malcolm said in a hurry, turning a rather endearing shade of pink.

� Oh.� Josh�s eyes widened, � Oh! Um��

� You know what, never mind.� Malcolm said quickly, � I shouldn�t have done that, I was just��

� No, it�s not that.� Josh exclaimed in a hurry, � I�m happy that you asked me, but��

Malcolm forced a smile, � Don�t worry about it, it was just a suggestion.�

� No, I really am.� Josh emphasised, � It�s just� I already said I�d go with someone else.�

� Oh.� Malcolm replied, biting his lip.

� But I would�ve loved to have gone with you.� Josh said with a genuine regretful smile, � Seriously, if I had known� I�m just going with a friend. Sort of as a favour.�

* * *

Rawley Boys� Academy, common room

� You�re going with JOSH?� Scout barked. It was just as well that the common room was deserted because his volume was definitely loud to the point of being embarrassing.

� Yes, that�s not going to be a problem, is it?� Faye demanded, � It�s more of a favour than anything else, you realise.�

� No, I don�t.� He shot back, � You know how I feel about you two and date-like scenarios. Of course it�s a problem!�

� God, Scout, don�t you trust me?� She asked crossly, � He�s going to be onstage with the band, he�s not even going to be anywhere near me for half the night! I think you should thank him for agreeing to go with me so that I didn�t have to go find someone else for a date!�

� You could�ve gone alone, couldn�t you?� He yelled, � Why do you have to go with a partner?�

� My partner is Josh, for crying out loud!� She exclaimed, exasperated, � You know, Josh Sutherland? The guy who I haven�t had a relationship with ever? The guy who I claimed was not straight enough for me? The guy who�s always been more interested in my brother than me?�

� Okay, so he�s not straight.� Scout seethed, � But he�s not totally gay either! I don�t like the thought of the two of you together! I mean, you�re always together! Half the school think you�re a couple because you�re the leads in the play and you always hang out together��

� Exactly,� she sighed, � We always hang out together, because we�re friends. Have we ever been anything more than friends? No!�

He set his jaw stubbornly, � Well, I still don�t like it.�

� I don�t need you to like it.� She glared at him, � And I don�t need your permission to go to my prom with a date of my choice!�

� I�m your goddamn boyfriend!� He shouted, fists clenched by his side.

� And you should trust me when I say no one�s replacing you.� She retorted, � It�s for one night, and we are going as friends. What is the big deal?�

� The big deal is my girlfriend going to her prom with someone else!�

� Because you can�t go!� She clamoured, feeling as though they were going round and round in circles. � God, just get over it!� Jumping up, she stormed out of the common room.

Scout glared after her, slamming a fist into a wall nearby with a dull thud.

� Ouch, that had to hurt.� Will commented, walking into the room and brushing past Faye, who was so angry that she didn�t even bother acknowledging him, � What happened?�

� She�s going to the prom with Josh.� Scout replied icily.

� So?� Will asked quizzically.

Scout looked at him in disbelief, � What do you mean So? They�re going to the prom together while I�m stuck here, forbidden to go!�

� Well, what did you expect her to do?� Will asked, � Not go at all?�

� Yes!� The words burst forth before Scout rendered sense of them. Wide-eyed, he said quickly, � I mean��

� Man, I hate to tell you,� Will frowned, � but that�s kind of selfish.�

� She�s the one being selfish!� Scout shouted, � I can�t believe she�d just desert me like this!�

� It�s her prom, Scout.� Will said mildly, � She�s entitled to go.�

� Well, she didn�t have to go with Josh.� Scout replied crossly, � She could�ve gone stag, or I�m sure she could�ve�� He waved a flippant hand in the air, � � found some guy in REACH who would�ve been happy to take her��

� Josh is in REACH.� Will reminded him with a smile.

� Yeah, but he�s bisexual!� Scout exclaimed, � He could like girls, he could like HER!�

� Scout,� Will said, barely able to constrain his amusement, � Calm down.�

Scout looked at him, still seething, �I just don�t see why she had to go with him, of all people.�

� You�re jealous.� Will sat down next to him.

The other boy sighed, � Fine, so what if I am? I�ve always�� he trailed off, sighing again.

� Man, I hate to break it to you this way,� Will was grinning by now, � but think about it. If Faye had ever had any romantic interest whatsoever in Josh, and I mean ever, do you really think you would�ve stood a chance with her?�

Scout turned to him, gape-mouthed, � What�s that supposed to mean?�

Will shrugged, standing up again, � Why don�t you think about it? Anyway,� he continued, � I just came in here to tell you I�m leaving for the symposium in New York.�

� Yeah, that�s right.� Scout said, remembering, � Have fun on the trip.�

� I think I will.� The other boy nodded, grinning, � I�ll be back Sunday night.� A mischievous glint in his eye, he added, � Don�t do anything naughty while I�m gone.�

� Not damn likely.� Scout said sullenly, waving him on.

* * *

Carson, Dr Perkins� office

Hamilton watched the patterns on the tapestries that hung on Dr Perkins� walls, finding them quite hypnotising, in fact. The afternoon sun threw slanted rays on them at such an angle that some colours seemed to fade away and others, jump out at the eye much more vividly. He had also noticed that there were a few golden threads woven in with the duller cotton threads, and when the sunlight struck them they gave off little flashes of light.

� Hamilton?� Jake�s enquiring voice suddenly registered and he jumped, � Yeah, what? I�m here.�

Dr Perkins smiled at him sympathetically, � Hamilton, are you finding the conversation hard to follow?�

� What? No.� He tried to stifle a yawn, � I mean, not really.�

� You know, you don�t have to come to these sessions.� Jake said softly, � It�s okay if I just come on my own, it�s not really your problem anyway.�

� Of course it�s my problem.� He quickly replied, � It concerns me. No, I�m fine, I just lost my concentration� go on.�

She threw him a distracted glance before turning back to Perkins, � Well, like I said, I feel fine half the time. It�s just that� occasionally��

� Specifically when Hamilton touches you?� Perkins enquired, his bright green eyes darting toward Hamilton again.

Said boy sighed inwardly while Jake answered, not without a trace of hesitation, � � Yeah.�

� We know that already.� Hamilton said irritably, � I�m the one who makes the problems resurface, I know, I know.�

� It�s not that simple, Hamilton.� Perkins told him earnestly, � We�ve got to explore why exactly that is. We really have to delve into Jacqueline�s mind to see what really triggers these reactions as they stand. It�s not just you, you�ve got to understand that. Maybe it�s something about you, or who you are in relation to her, but you can�t hold yourself to be the cause or the catalyst of these problems.�

� You lost me.� Hamilton said blankly.

The psychiatrist smiled, � What I mean is, please don�t think of yourself as the person who brings out these problems. It�s who you are in relation to Jacqueline, and the events that she went through, that makes this notion of you that she fears. She�s not scared of you, she�s scared of her idea of you.�

� What�s that supposed to mean?� Jake and Hamilton demanded simultaneously.

� It means,� Perkins said slowly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, � That maybe it�s time to examine your relationship in detail. Are you two�� He gestured generally in their direction, � �close?�

� You mean like physically?� Hamilton asked, his brows furrowing.

� No, I mean emotionally.� Perkins clarified, � How dependent are you on each other?�

� Well, a lot I think.� Said Jake, � We�ve been through a hell of a lot this past year and we�ve come to rely on each other.� Hamilton nodded his agreement and they shared a smile.

Perkins jotted something down on his notepad, � And are you ever�� he searched for an appropriate word to use, � � anxious about this degree of dependence?�

� Anxious?� Jake repeated, thrown by the strange choice of words, � Why would we be?�

Perkins leaned forward on his chair and looked at them, � Well, are you?�

Hamilton looked at him in confusion. Perkins looked back and his eyes seemed to be saying something, untranslatable, but strangely comforting. He smiled lightly and glanced at Jake once more.

� I guess sometimes I wish I had more space to myself.� Jake said slowly, sounding almost surprised at what she was saying, � I guess sometimes how much I rely on Hamilton could be a little�� She trailed off, and looked to Perkins for help.

He readjusted his glasses and looked at her evenly, � If you�re looking for a word, go with your gut instinct.�

She nodded, and in a whisper said, � Suffocating.�

Hamilton gave a start and looked at her, taken aback. She glanced away.

Part 4

Rawley Academy

Josh paced anxiously by the guest parking lot, checking his watch every few seconds.

Since he had to perform onstage for most of the night, he was granted permission to skip the tux that was otherwise demanded of the guys attending the prom. Instead, he was wearing black dress pants, and a matching jacket was slung over his shoulder. A silky black shirt hung loosely over his slender frame, and as he craned his neck to look into the distance, the fading sunlight caught a motif on his left shoulder, a tiny design in the shape of a silver dragon, the only visible detail in the otherwise entirely black ensemble.

Checking his watch again, he looked up as he heard the squealing of tires. A moment later, a van swerved into the parking lot, pulling up crookedly and taking up two parking spaces instead of one. Visibly relaxing, Josh�s face lightened into a smile.

The doors slid open and the first person to emerge from the van was a petite girl with waist-length brown hair, who promptly shrieked and ran up, wrapping him in a huge hug, � Josh! Wow, you look great!� She exclaimed, a gigantic grin breaking over her face.

� Hey Em.� Josh acknowledged the band�s bassist affectionately, ruffling her hair, � You lost your plaits.�

The last time Emily had been at New Rawley, her hair had been braided and a good deal shorter. She grinned, � Yeah, they were growing out and getting messy. But you,� she squealed again, � you look so pretty! Oh, I�ve missed you so much.� Impulsively, she reached out and hugged him again.

� Emily,� a disgruntled voice called from inside the van, � Come get your own stuff because I�m not carrying your amp this time, no matter how hard you beg.�

Josh couldn�t help laughing as he walked forward, � How�ve you been, guys?�

Two heads popped into view, respectively those of Ben, the guitarist; and Alex, the drummer. � Rawley agreeing with you much, Josh?� Ben grinned as Josh stepped in front of them, beaming.

� God, I missed you guys.� Josh sighed as he hugged first Ben, then Alex, � I�m so glad you�re here.�

� Are we late?� Emily asked as she clambered back into the van and emerged with a guitar case, which she put on in the fashion of a backpack. Reaching back inside, she grabbed a mass of cables and leads.

� Well, you�re definitely not early.� Josh took an amp from the mess of equipment inside the van, and staggered away, waving an arm, � I still have to pick up my date, you know. Come on, we�ve got to dump all the stuff this way.�

With muffled groans, the rest of the band followed him, dragging with them instruments and pieces of equipment.

* * *

Faye and Leah�s room

Faye stood back from the mirror and twirled around, � Verdict?�

Leah nodded appreciatively from her seat on the dresser, � Lovely.�

Faye had chosen a long violet dress to match her eyes, and the cool satiny fabric seem to float around her, bringing into sharp focus her eyes which, tinted with contacts, were of the exact same shade. She turned around and gingerly touched her hair, which was twisted into a sleek chignon at the back of her head, exposing an elegant curve of pale throat.

� I�m jealous.� Leah announced, picking up a bag of chips on the dresser and munching absently.

� Because I�m going to the prom with Josh?� Faye asked with a smile, perfectly aware of Leah�s none too discreet obsession with the singer.

� Well, that too.� Leah acknowledged, �But, I was going to say that you get to see the band tonight.� Faye turned around and raised an eyebrow at her. Leah shrugged and looked away, � He looks the prettiest when he�s singing.�

The look in Faye�s eyes softened almost imperceptibly as she took a step toward her roommate, � You�re going to the after-party, right?�

� Am I invited?� Leah looked doubtful.

� It�s open house.� Faye told her, � And Josh will be there, you know. Plus, you might get to meet the rest of the band.� Seeing a flicker of nervousness cross the redhead�s face, she laughed softly, � They�re only people, Leah.�

� And I�m just an obsessive stalker-type person.� Leah sighed, � To each his own.�

There was a spot of silence, which made the soft knock on the door more prominent-sounding than it was. � That must be Josh.� Faye said, checking her watch. Leah jumped down from the dresser, almost as though she had been stung, and she looked like she didn�t know where to hide. Faye giggled at her, and opened the door.

Scout stood in the doorway, his hands stuck deep in the pockets of his jeans. As the door swung inwards he looked up, ready to say something, but his jaw fell as he saw Faye framed in the doorway, all incandescent dream of violet satin and violet eyes.

� Hey.� She said in a low voice, watching his reaction with a tinge of pleasure, which resulted in a faint pink blush that seeped across her cheeks.

He was still speechless, watching her shimmer, the light from the hallway casting a golden veil over her features. Behind him he could faintly hear the hurried footsteps of other guys who had come to pick up their dates for the prom, and the halls were quietly buzzing with excited chatter, broken often with the sharp clicks of stiletto heels.

She stepped back to let him inside and soundlessly, he obliged, not being able to take his eyes off her.

� This is my cue.� Leah said delicately, hiding a smile. With catlike grace, she slipped out of the door and closed it gently behind her.

Scout barely registered that Leah had left the room. Still gaping, he tried to speak coherently, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he heard to his horror a string of unintelligible sounds that made no sense whatsoever.

Faye laughed lightly, � Um, I�ll take that as a compliment, I think.�

And with her laugh, the spell was broken and recast all at once; the shimmering dream was suddenly gone and replaced with a pang that hit him full in the chest. His head cleared, and he suddenly remembered what he was going to say.

� I told you a long time ago that I was going to stop acting like such a child and I just realised I hadn�t stopped at all.� He said in a hurry, watching her intently. She stared back, her lips curving up slightly.

� It�s your prom,� he sighed, the words cascading from him, easier to say and believe than he had thought possible, � you should be able to go and have fun without me trying to guilt-trip you. I�ve seen you with Josh and I know you have fun with him and it�s not up to me to tell you who you want to go with, I do trust you.� As an afterthought he added, his blue eyes earnest, � And Josh.�

Her smile was bright with relief, and he felt that familiar aching tug in his chest as he watched her eyes crinkle at the edges, looking mischievous and tender at the same time.

� I�m sorry.� He whispered.

� You know what?� She said softly, � I�m sorry too. I�m sorry about being so insensitive, and you�re right, I could�ve gone stag instead of going with Josh��

He smiled, � But you wouldn�t get to dance then.� Reaching out, he touched her cheek gently, � And you deserve to dance with someone, even if that someone can�t be me.�

She raised an eyebrow, � Are you implying that I�ll be a wallflower if no one went with me?�

His smile faded for a moment before he realised that she was only teasing. Grinning, he stepped closer, � You�ll never be a wallflower, even if you tried.�

She breached the short distance that lay between them, her cool fingers closing around his wrists. The simple gesture made his heart do a funny little leap against his ribcage, and he felt as though he was drowning in the moment. � You are beautiful.� He whispered.

Her lips brushed against his as she spoke, � I am, or I look?�

� You are.� He told her clearly, a moment before their lips met in a kiss that neither of them had quite expected the intensity of, a tenderness that burned, a hollow ache lodging itself in both their throats as he wrapped his arms around her waist, gathering her to him and wondering if there was really any feasible way of not letting go. Ever.

� Ahem.� A cough issued from the doorway, and an amused voice asked, � Mr Calhoun, would you please kindly remove your lips from my date of the evening?�

� You�re just jealous cos she�s not kissing you, Sutherland.� Scout mumbled against Faye�s lips, smiling.

� Insanely jealous.� Josh replied dryly, watching them with an indulgent smile. Faye finally disengaged herself from Scout�s grasp and turned to Josh, grinning, � Okay, let�s go.�

� You might want to fix your lipstick first.� He pointed out with a good-natured smirk, � You too, Scout. As much as I appreciate boys who wear makeup, that really isn�t your colour.�

* * *

Bella�s gas station

The sun had not quite set, but the street lamps had already been snapped on; the soft yellow circles of light that emanated from them melded with the golden glow of dusk, making everything burn with an orange sheen.

Sean walked toward the gas station, his footsteps heavy. It was a rare evening these days that he had to spend without Ryder by his side, and he was surprised at how lonesome it felt. The British boy had strange charisma to him, an odd sort of allure that made people appreciate him when he was near, and miss him when he was gone.

He should be arriving at the prom now, Sean thought as he checked his watch, pushing open the door to the Banks� shop. Before he had even entered, he could see through the glass door the figures of Bella and Grace. Grace was slumped on the couch while Bella sat nearby, with a consoling arm over her shoulder.

As he entered, Bella looked up and some unidentifiable emotion flashed across her features, which disappeared in a moment as she saw that it was Sean in the doorway. � Hey.� She said dully, the orange glow from the outside skies flickering in her eyes. Grace didn�t acknowledge him at all, but merely turned away, the sunset spinning her hair into threads of shimmering russet.

Sean stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly, � What�s wrong, Grace?�

� Ryder.� Bella answered curtly.

Sean sighed. Bella�s - and indeed most of his friends at Rawley�s - animosity toward Ryder was, in his opinion, unfounded and more than a little unpleasant. Walking closer, he asked, � What happened?�

� The prom.� Grace sniffled after a pause, her back still towards him.

Sean raised an eyebrow and Bella exhaled, explaining, � Ryder said he�d take her to the Rawley prom.� Turning back to her sister, she tried her best to console the distraught girl, � It�s just a dance, Grace. It�s not the end of the world.�

� And?� Sean sat down by the couch, furrowing his brows.

Bella glanced at him, � Did you know they aren�t allowed to take people who don�t go to Rawley?�

� Hmm,� he murmured, � Actually, I think I remember hearing that a while ago.� Flashing a small sympathetic grin, he added, � Stupid rich bastards.�

� That�s not making me feel any better, Sean.� Came the muffled reply from Grace.

� Sorry.� He tried to look contrite, � But Grace, you know Ryder�he�s Ryder. He doesn�t make promises.�

� But he said he would take me!� Grace looked up at him, � I had no idea� I thought we were going together until��

� Until this afternoon.� Bella finished for her, seething, � That creep actually had the nerve to come in this afternoon and tell her��

Grace buried her face in her hands, � Shut up, Bella.�

� I�m trying to help.� The blonde told her in frustration, � Look, you�re the one who�s making a big deal out of it! And the guy is a slimeball��

� Hey,� Sean said quickly, � That�s my friend you�re dissing there, Bella.�

� And I think I�m justified!� She exclaimed, � He said he was going to take her, but he actually knew all along he wouldn�t be allowed? What sort of loser does that?�

Grace�s expression twisted itself into a half-smile, half-grimace, but she didn�t speak. Sean was surprised to see her so upset over this: usually she flitted from guy to guy at dizzying speed, always flirting, never lingering� it was daunting to see her this out of character. � I know he doesn�t take a lot of things seriously,� he said slowly, �� but this is just� mean.�

Bella looked at him and asked coolly, � And you just figured that out?�

His glance was quizzical. She sighed, � Sean, Ryder doesn�t do things for a reason, you know. He does it just for kicks. This is probably just fun to him, setting Grace up and letting her down.�

Sean�s eyebrows shot up, � He�s not like that.� He defended his friend, � You and Will and Scout might think he�s evil incarnate or something, but you know what? I don�t see it. I just don�t. He�s a guy who likes having fun, that's all, and I don�t think it�s fair that you�re blaming him for this� he probably just forgot about the rules and was too embarrassed to admit it.�

� God, Sean!� Bella stood up, agitated, � Why can�t you see it? The guy�s nothing but trouble! Ever since you became friends with him he�s only given you trouble��

� That�s not true.� He shouted at her, � You�re totally misinformed where Ryder�s concerned, you just can�t see straight because you resent him for that time he nearly found your letter��

� This isn�t about that, Sean!� She yelled.

� You never gave him a chance! � He yelled back.

� Guys!� Grace suddenly exploded, � Stop it! I don�t care if he forgot or not, okay? It�s just a stupid prom and he can take whoever he wants to take, I don�t care anymore.�

� If you don�t care anymore, then why are you getting all worked up about it?� Bella asked sensibly.

Grace glared daggers at her, � Shut up, you think you know everything, but you don�t, okay?�

� What? I was just trying to help!� Bella exclaimed again, bewildered, � I told you Ryder was bad news and you didn�t believe me!�

� You know what,� Sean said suddenly, turning on his heels, � I�ve got to go find him. Ask him what sort of game he�s playing here.�

� No!� Grace exclaimed, � What do you think you�re doing? This is so embarrassing, it�s my problem, okay? Why are you two trying so hard to make it yours?�

� Because you�re my sister!� Bella shouted at the same time as Sean yelled, � Because I won�t let him treat you like that!�

There was a moment of silence as Grace stared incredulously at the two of them. Sean paused and glanced sideways at Bella, whose face was flushed and she sighed, sitting back down on the couch.

� What, you�re doing this to protect me?� Grace demanded with a small condescending sneer, � I�m not eight years old, guys, I can take care of myself.� Without another word she turned and ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door for good measure.

Sean was silent for a moment before looking at Bella, who avoided his eyes.

� I�m going to find him.� He said again, taking a step towards the door.

� What, now?� Bella sat up straight, � Be reasonable, Sean, how are you going to get into the Rawley grounds for a start? And what exactly are you trying to do here? What are you going to ask him even if you do get the chance?�

� Grace is like my sister too, you know.� He said stiffly, striding away, � And Ryder can�t mess with her. If he forgot about the rules, that�s one thing; but I won�t let him get away with playing around with her like this.�

� Sean�� she began to protest, seeing the new angry resolve that sprung over his expression like a dark tide, and she stood up, � Sean, wait��

But he had already walked out, the door swinging shut behind him.

* * *

Rawley Academy, main hall

The hall was lavishly decorated. There wasn�t so much a theme to the decorations than simply plain extravagance, thousands of silver fairy lights covering the walls and ceilings, and small mobile fountains were placed all around the hall, lit up from within and making the water that was spouting forth shimmer blue.

Josh and Faye threaded through the throngs of people, waving hello to their classmates who appeared to be transformed by the glimmering silver lights, immersed in clouds of satin and taffeta, velvet and lace. Everyone had the tendency to, in their evening wear, appear much older than they really were, as though they weren�t at a school event but rather just another one of those parties that their parents always threw - where glamour was just another way of life. People faded into sparkling shadows of themselves, it was a place where everyone was beautiful, yet everyone was just a blur.

After all, it was a high school prom, and no one really looked at anyone else. Made the hours of preparation sort of pointless, really.

A DJ was playing for the first half of the night, enabling Josh to mingle with the others for a couple of hours before he was due to take the stage. His bandmates had gone for a quick bite in town before coming back, and he was starting to get fidgety. Faye noticed his growing uneasiness and grinned at him, � Getting nervous?�

� Just hyped up.� He shrugged, tossing a grin over his shoulder as he saw Jesse and Lance - fellow members of REACH - walk by.

She nodded and looked around distractedly. He followed her eyes and they came to rest on a far corner of the room, where Ryder was standing with a dark-haired girl in a tight red dress. Without noticing it, his smile faded. Resisting the urge to bite his lower lip, he tugged on his hair and tucked a strand behind his ear, more out of habit than necessity.

� Who is that?� Faye pondered, squinting, � Looks like Anita from my English class.�

� It�s her older sister, I think.� Josh replied blandly, turning away, � Do you want to dance?�

She glanced at him, � Sure.� They made their way to the dance floor, which was already swarming with couples. Drawing Faye closer, Josh grinned as they swayed in time to the music, � Oh, Scout�s going to kill me if he sees this.�

Her smile clouded over for a moment as she shook her head gently, � Nah, he�s cool with it.�

� Like hell he is.� He looked up at the ceiling, the fairy lights reflecting off his eyes, adorning the aquamarine depths with flecks of silver. � The guy is so into you that it�s hard to watch him.�

She shifted slightly under his touch, � I feel kind of bad for leaving him like that.�

He paused and gazed at her with a thoughtful expression, but she looked away with a small smile, � Hey, I think Malcolm�s staring evilly at me.�

� Where?� He half-turned.

� He likes you.� She announced without even a trace of doubt, � Oh, ouch, he looks like he�s ready to kill someone� me, by the looks of it.� Shuddering comically, she turned back to Josh, � What did I ever do to him?�

He laughed softly, � He asked me to come to the prom. You know, as his date.�

� What?� She widened her eyes, � Why didn�t you?�

� I already said I would go with you.� He replied with his familiar lopsided smile.

� But I could�ve easily not have gone with you,� she sighed, � oh, now I feel even worse for being a third wheel.�

� You are by no means a third wheel.� He told her, � There�s nothing between me and Malcolm� well, not yet.�

She watched his bashful grin and thought that he hadn�t looked cuter in a long time. � Wow, you really like him, don�t you?�

� I think he�s cute, yeah.� He tried to shrug casually, but his blush more than gave him away. Faye laughed, � Well, what are you still dancing with me for?� She stepped back, � Go ask the boy to dance!�

� I don�t know�� he looked doubtful, � What if he came with someone else?�

� You came with me.� She pointed out, � Go, ask him for a dance, his eyes are burning holes in my back.�

Josh smiled, sticking his hands in his pockets, � You don�t mind?�

� Not at all.� She affirmed, giving him a small push in the direction of the other boy, � I need to go get something to drink anyway. Have fun.�

Again he smiled happily, backing away. She watched him as the last song drew to a stop, a tiny spot of silence quickly replaced by the opening notes of Blur�s �Tender�. She grinned to herself as she saw Malcolm�s eyes widen as Josh walked up and proffered a hand to him, which he took hesitantly, a shy smile creeping over his features.

Turning away, she walked toward the refreshment tables, getting herself a glass of iced water. Stopping to say hi to a couple of people she knew from the production, she moved toward the French doors, hoping to catch a bit of fresh air.

--�Tender is the night / lying by your side / Tender is the touch / of someone that you love too much / Tender is the day / the demons go away / Lord I need to find / someone who can heal my mind��

Looking up at the moon in the night sky, she breathed in slowly the scent of the night. The moonlight poured down like water, and she felt its cool caress on her skin as she closed her eyes, suddenly wishing that she were somewhere else. She wasn�t having half as much fun here as she thought she would.

Her thoughts were still swirling around what had happened in her dorm room hours earlier, when Scout had walked in with an apology on his lips that momentarily froze as their gazes locked, an instant that was kept long enough for her to feel something run through her, like distilled lightning.

Something, she thought, that she was sure she wasn�t able to feel anymore.

Looking at her watch, she couldn�t help a sigh when she saw that the prom was far from over.

--�Come on, come on, come on / Get through it / Come on, come on, come on / love's the greatest thing that we have / I'm waiting for that feeling / I'm waiting for that feeling / Waiting for that feeling to come��

� Not having much fun?� A voice asked from beside her and she jumped, not realising that her brother was leaning against the door, regarding her with a cool expression.

� Not really.� She admitted, � You?�

He shrugged out of his tuxedo jacket and set it on the back of a chair, � Came out here for a smoke. My date�s suffocating me, she hadn�t let me out of her sight for the entire night.�

She grinned, � I didn�t think you�d mind her crawling all over you.�

� Generally no.� He grinned back, sticking a cigarette in his mouth, � But� I don�t know.� Shaking his head slightly, he walked out of the doors, � Something just feels a bit off, for some reason.�

--�Tender is the ghost / the ghost I love the most / Hiding from the sun / waiting for the night to come / Tender is my heart / for screwing up my life / Lord I need to find / someone who can heal my mind��

� You okay?� She called after him, concerned. He half-turned and spread his hands as if to say �how should I know?�, and proceeded to light his cigarette as he walked across the lawns. Sighing, she turned again and stepped back inside, downing the rest of her water and stopping to chat with Gareth Rickard, Leah�s brother.

--�Tender is the night / lying by your side / Tender is the touch / of someone that you love too much / Tender is my heart you know / for screwing up my life / Oh Lord I need to find / someone who can heal my mind��

Part 5

Rawley Boys� Academy, common room

� It�s so quiet in here.� Jake tossed Hamilton a can of coke as she walked in, looking around the empty room almost suspiciously. � I guess everyone�s at the prom.�

� All the upperclassmen.� He confirmed as she sat down next to him on the couch, � And everyone else would, presumably, be out on the town on a Saturday night, instead of being at school with us two losers.�

She chuckled, � Back on the self-depreciation streak again?�

� Can�t help it.� He shrugged, suddenly looking solemn, � All this talk at therapy isn�t exactly doing good to my ego.�

She closed her eyes and sighed, � You know we�re not going there to make you feel bad.�

� Of course I know.� He said dismissively, opening the can with a loud hiss. � We�re going there to make you better.�

� But I don�t want to do that at the expense of you.� She said, sitting up, � Look, Hamilton, I�ve been watching you at these sessions lately, and��

He shrugged, � I get bored, I get offended, and I don�t do a hell of a lot, I know. Therapy may be a good thing for you, Jake; but I�m not benefiting from it.�

� Like I said,� she watched him, � if you don�t think you need to go��

� I don�t know.� He took a swig from the can, � I feel like I need to be there for you.�

She gazed at him, � I appreciate that, I really do. But��

� It�s not necessary for me to be there holding your hand anymore, I get it.� He peered at her, � You know what? I�m fine with that. I�ve been there with you for a while now and I can see Perkins is a pretty cool guy. So�� he shrugged lightly, � If you don�t want me there, just say the word and I�ll leave you alone at those sessions, if you think they�d be better for you that way.�

� I do want you there.� She exclaimed, albeit uncertainly, � This is about you and me, isn�t it?�

He sat up straighter, his blue eyes meeting her hazel ones, � Not any more, Jake.�

Her lips parted slightly in surprise. He smiled gently and said, � It�s about you exorcising your demons. Letting everything go. And I can see I�m becoming more of an obstacle than a help to your recovery.�

� What�?� She managed to whisper, � Hamilton, where did you get that idea�?�

� Well, aren�t I?� He asked, not expecting an answer. � I can see it perfectly clearly when I listen to you talk to Dr Perkins. Every time you talk to me, it always seems as though you�re holding back because you�re trying really hard not to hurt my feelings, talking about how I make you feel vulnerable and scared and��

She tried to speak but he shook his head, indicating that he didn�t want to be interrupted, � You know what? I�m not offended by that. I�m not, really. I know how you feel for me.�

Raising a hand slightly, his fingers brushed against his chest for a moment, � The feeling in here� I know what it is. I know you feel the same way about me, because I�ve been listening to you for the past three weeks and I can see you�re just as in love with me as I am with you. I don�t need any more reassurances.�

� Hamilton�� She was moved and found it hard to say anything beyond the huge lump that suddenly rose in her throat.

Watching him, she remarked upon how serene he seemed, simply sitting there, telling her earnestly that no matter what had happened, no matter what was happening and what might still happen, he knew that she loved him. And he loved her.

He shook his head again, gazing at her intently, � Look, I need to get this out� so please don�t say anything, just� listen.�

She swallowed, nodding.

� So�� he looked away for a moment, trying to gather the thoughts to him in the form of words, � I�ve been thinking a lot, these past few days. About what you said about us in therapy, how suffocating it might be��

She opened her mouth and seemed as though she wanted to argue the word choice again, but he shook his head, indicating that he wasn�t finished. � No, it�s all right. It�s the truth� and I think we�ve gone through enough for me to be able to handle the truth.�

� I just want to say that, no matter what you do, I�ll support you. If you sincerely want me there at therapy, then I�m happy to go� just say the word, and I�m there. But,� he smiled gently, � to me it looks like you don�t need me there anymore. The simple fact of me being there is starting to be a nuisance more than anything. You need to tell Dr Perkins everything, all that you feel and all that you need to get out� and I feel like I�m almost intruding that way. After all, what you feel is private, I don�t need to be there for every moment of it� just every moment you actually want me to be a part of.�

� God, Hamilton�� she whispered, � I can�t even tell you how much this means to me��

He laughed softly, indulgently, � You don�t need to.� Slipping his index finger under her chin, he carefully tilted her head up and whispered back, � I know.�

She took his hand soundlessly, blinking.

� And that�s why I�m moving out.� He concluded without further elaboration.

Her eyes widened, � What? What do you mean?�

He looked down at their clasped hands, allowing himself a small smile. Glancing up again, he said in a soft voice, � You need your space, Jake. And you know when I was spacing out in therapy yesterday? I was actually thinking about that. How just by being there, I�m making you remember over and over again. And you can�t heal if I�m breathing down your neck every second� so I need to back away, give you some space to yourself.�

� But� you�re all right with that?� She asked in a small voice.

As sudden as the proposal may seem, she had a feeling that it was a long time in coming. To be truthful, it did cross her mind, that sharing a room with Hamilton at the present moment was doing more damage than good to their relationship, but she refrained from saying anything. However, now was different. She had entirely underestimated how much he was noticing and comprehending, and she couldn�t believe that he was being so wonderful about it.

Her heart ached with tenderness as she looked at him, her hold on his hand tightening.

He grinned, � I wouldn�t be suggesting it if I wasn�t okay with it.�

� But where would you go?� She asked softly, � Back home?�

� I guess.� He shrugged, � Or just another room in the dorms, it�s not important. I just want you to be happy again.� Gazing into her eyes, he said quietly, � Just� get better, okay? For both our sakes.�

She nodded silently, swallowing again, determined not to cry. She had cried too much already, and now� now wasn�t a time for tears.

� I love you.� He said, in a voice so soft that she could hardly hear him, and he smiled.

Such a familiar, loving smile.

She didn�t think that she could touch him lately. She had been much too scared to, knowing that the icy fear in her heart would cause her blood to run cold as she moved too near; knowing that she could not shake the terror even as they touch, too reminiscent of what happened beyond her control all those months ago.

But she looked at their hands and saw that their fingers were intertwined, bringing no fear, only comfort. And as she leaned forward, she knew that this time� as their lips met, there would be no fear. No fear in that one kiss. That one kiss that told her everything she needed to know, that he would stand by her no matter what. The kiss was tender and unhurried and sweet, borne of love and not passion� and that was all right with her.

He froze for a flicker of a moment as she kissed him, too surprised to react. He had thought that she couldn�t really bear to do that� but she was kissing him. Tenderly, quietly, and he dared not move because the moment was so perfect in its gentleness.

She kissed him tentatively, almost marvelling at the fact that she hadn�t pulled back yet, hadn�t felt the fear take absolute control. After a stunned moment, he kissed her back just as softly, both of them uncertain and apprehensive.

She pulled back and opened her eyes slowly with a dreamy smile, � I must be getting better.�

� You must be.� He agreed, a broad grin breaking over his face.

* * *

Rawley Academy, main hall

Josh rejoined Faye at the refreshment table, looking slightly flushed. She grinned at him, � Had fun?�

He smiled but did not answer, gulping down a glass of water and gasping as the icy liquid dashed down his throat. Behind them, the crowd shifted and Alex ran straight towards them, grabbing Josh�s arm, � Where the hell were you? Do you know what time it is? Why haven�t you gotten your eyeliner on yet? We�re supposed to go on NOW!� Behind him, Faye could see that Emily and Ben were already onstage, plugging in their guitars.

� What, now?� Josh demanded, looking at his wristwatch, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

� What, you didn�t realise that you spent that much time with Malcolm?� Faye teased, � Too caught up to notice?�

He ducked his head and smiled, giving away silent affirmation as he let himself be dragged along by Alex, the drummer gripping him tightly by the arm as though he might disappear again. Faye followed them across the hall as they made their way to the stage, and he paused just before the side of the stage. Alex exchanged with him a small slap of the hand in their customary token of mutual good luck.

� Give me a minute.� Josh told Alex, and the other guy nodded, passing him an eyeliner pencil before disappearing behind a curtain that separated the wings from the rest of the hall.

� Have fun up there.� Faye told Josh as he tossed her the eyeliner with a pleading look. With a smile she proceeded to shade his eyelids liberally with the soft black kohl, � Mascara?�

� No time.� He groaned, looking up toward the ceiling as she carefully lined the bottom rims of his eyes, � Faye, sorry about deserting you. Now and before.�

She shrugged as she handed back the eyeliner, � It�s okay.�

� You�re not having fun, are you?� He demanded.

She lowered her head and shrugged again.

He watched her for a moment before asking, � Why don�t you just leave? You know you want to go be with him.�

� But I should really stay here to see you play�� She started to protest, but he cut her off, � You can see me play any time, Faye. You�ve been wandering around disoriented all night and it�s pretty clear why.�

She blushed and he grinned at her, � Just go.�

� You don�t mind?� She asked timidly.

� I�m going to be up there surrounded by my adoring fans,� he said dryly, � I�m sure your presence won�t be sorely missed.�

� Freak.� She laughed and hit him on the arm. He yelped and backed away, disappearing into the curtain folds with a smile. She watched as the velvety material fell before him, and without another thought, turned and made her way across the exit.

Just as she reached the doors, she heard the DJ announce, � Guys, this is the band you�ve been waiting for all night - please give a big hand to�� he paused dramatically, � Amnesia!�

She smiled as she let herself out, the heavy doors closing again behind her, muffling the whistles and cheers as Amnesia took to the stage.

* * *

Bella�s Gas Station

Bella knocked softly on the door, � Grace, can I come in?�

There was no answer. Bella shook her head and opened the door.

Grace was sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, which were drawn up to her chest. � What do you want?� She asked dully.

Bella smiled, � Hey, this is my room too, you know.�

Grace watched as her sister flicked the lights on, made her way across the room and sat down on the foot of her bed. She winced slightly at the sudden torrent of light that burst across the room, chasing away the darkness but somehow managing to compound the gloom.

� How long have you known Ryder?� Bella asked quietly.

Grace had half a mind to snarl �mind your own business� like she�d normally do. But a mixture of disappointment and strange kinship meant that she merely shrugged and said, � Ages.�

Bella raised an eyebrow and Grace shrugged again, � Well, he hangs out at Joe�s place, you know. We just see each other around.�

� But you guys haven�t been�� Bella paused, biting her lip, � � for that long?�

� What? Screwing each other?� Grace finished for her with a sardonic smile, � God, you�re such a prude sometimes.� Smirking at the uncomfortable look on Bella�s face, she shrugged yet again, � No, we haven�t been doing that long.�

Bella looked away. She couldn�t help it, she just didn�t understand Grace�s lifestyle, nor did she really want to understand it in more detail.

� It�s just,� Grace mused, more to herself than to Bella, � I thought he�d be different, you know? I thought he might be the person who might mean I get to be more than just�� she trailed off, then started again, � And that was why I was so hung up about this stupid prom business, I just thought��

� Grace,� Bella sighed, � We�re talking about Ryder.�

� So you keep saying.� Grace narrowed her eyes, � You don�t even know him, so don�t go around telling me I should avoid him at all costs.�

� I know him enough.� Bella said resolutely, �I�ve hated everything that I know so far, and I don�t expect the rest of him to be any better.�

Grace was silent as she turned her head, watching the night outside.

� Gracie�� Bella prompted, laying a hand on her sister�s arm.

Grace didn�t move. When she spoke, it was in a monotone.

� You think I like being the slut of New Rawley? Don�t� don�t bother correcting me, I know everyone sees me like that.�

� I don�t want to be that girl, Bella, I honestly don�t. I don�t know what went wrong. It was just a gradual thing� and before I even realised what I was doing, I had become something that I don�t recognise, let alone like.�

Bella�s hold tightened on Grace�s arm, a subconscious reflex almost.

� You don�t like Ryder, that doesn�t matter at all to me.� The look in Grace's eyes was faraway and unfocused, as though she was talking from a place deep within herself. " I don�t really like him either� but I thought he might be able to take me away from here, you know? Maybe for once I could be what I want to be instead of what people think I am."

With a grimace that seemed to pass itself off as a sneer of disdain, Grace continued, avoiding Bella's eyes, " You want to know why I was so hung up about this stupid prom thing? Because I thought, if I go, maybe I can pretend I�m better than what I actually am."

" Wait�" Bella furrowed her brows.

" I know that sounds so screwed up, but you wouldn�t understand, would you?" Grace laughed shortly, looking into her sister's eyes before turning away again, � Everyone loves you, Bella. You�re the princess, the one everyone fall over themselves to adore. I�m just your slutty little sister.�

" That's not true!" Bella exclaimed. " Since when was I anything better than this?" She gestured at herself carelessly, the tangled hair, the flannel shirt and faded jeans. " And you� you're not�" she stopped suddenly, not knowing what to say to counter Grace's demeaning look at herself. Because even she herself thought it was true.

Painful to admit, but true nevertheless.

� Remember the Cotillion? We were both there, I�m sure you remember." Grace continued, not taking her eyes off what lay beyond the windows. " You were there with Will, wearing a white gown like everyone else, and you were beautiful. What about me? I think I was the only person there who wasn�t wearing white� I was so embarrassed when I walked in the door in that hideous pink dress and realised it was wrong. No one had bothered to tell me about the dress code, not even my �date�. He only took me because I begged him to, did you know that? I thought then, like this time, I might be able to pretend I�m one of those girls who have everything, and didn�t have to do things�� she laughed wryly, � � or people, to get what she wants. But then I saw you there, and I realised I could never be what you are. People were talking about you all night, did you know that? You didn�t fit in, but that was different to how I wasn�t fitting in�I didn�t fit in because I�m just a stupid Townie slut, but you� you were better than them. All the guys couldn�t stop raving about you.�

" Grace�" Bella whispered, " I didn't know any of this."

Grace either didn't hear her, or ignored her altogether, �� And I knew I could never be you."

Her voice, so usually whiny and unpleasant, had suddenly sounded more regretful and unhappy than Bella had ever heard.

" You�re perfect, Bella. I�m nothing.�

" No!" Bella exclaimed, surprising even herself as she stood up, " No! Grace, stop doing this! It's not true! I'm NOT better than you and you have to stop thinking that�"

� The only reason why I desperately wanted to go to the prom was because you weren�t going to be there." Grace interrupted in a hurry, her liquid brown eyes dully contemplating her sister, " I thought maybe if you weren�t there taking up the attention, then I could, maybe, just for once, get to feel what it�s like being you.�

Silence.

It was a silence deeper than the mere loss of words, more prominent than mere shock. Bella could only stare at Grace in mute horror, unable to fathom what this all meant.

Grace looked away again, hiding her face behind her hair, which fell like a curtain around her wan features.

* * *

Will and Scout's room

Scout looked disinterestedly at his surroundings. Will was long gone, the night pressed up dark against the windowpanes, and the room was only lit by lamplight. He felt like moping, so he had popped Massive Attack - his trusty sulk-soundtrack in his stereo, and was now listening to �Dissolved Girl� once more, sitting on his bed, legs stretched out in front of him and a book on his lap.

--�Shame, such a shame / think I kinda lost myself again / Day, yesterday / really should be leaving but I stay��

The door suddenly swung open, and he blinked as a flood of yellow light came streaming into the room, falling into a distinct oblong shape on the floor.

A shadow stood in the doorway, made black and indistinct by the backlight from the halls. He sat up straight and the shadow shifted, walking delicately into the room amidst the rustling whisper of satin.

� Faye.� He demanded, � What are you doing here?�

She smiled but did not answer, closing the door behind her and walking toward him.

� The prom hadn�t finished,� he said, checking the clock on the dresser, � so why are you here?�

She ignored the question, and instead tilted her head at him, � You�re listening to Massive Attack again. Do you listen to that song at every moping opportunity you get or something?

He cracked a smile, � Maybe.�

" Mind if I change the track?" She asked, walking closer. Her hair had been released from its elegant twist and instead fell to framing her face, the blonde strands grazing her bare shoulders. In the dim light each strand appeared as though they were drawn from silver.

He kept his eyes on her as he shrugged, " Whatever."

She reached for the remote control and set track 3 on repeat. The opening beats of 'Teardrop' filled the room, steady and pulsing like a heart in its stoned lethargy.

He watched her as she absently swept a tendril of hair away from her face, putting the control down. Then she smiled, just a little.

When she looked at him, the look in her eyes was dreamy and faraway. " Liz Fraser." She simply said.

He nodded and felt a smile breaking over his features, warming the corners of his lips.

" I left.� She said quietly. � I left before the band came on the stage, and I definitely left before the last dance. You know, I was always going to do that.�

� Leaving before the last dance?� He repeated.

� Yes.� She said softly, � Because it's yours. It always has been."

He couldn't help an intake of breath and she held her hand out to him, " Dance with me?"

He nodded, not taking his eyes off her face. Sliding off the bed, he stood and she wound her arms around his neck, sighing as he drew her into an embrace.

--'Love, love is a verb / Love is a doing word / Feather's on my breath�'

� I missed you.� Her breath tickled his neck. � The prom was a lot less fun than I thought it would be. You weren�t there with me.�

They swayed gently to the music, his hands reassuringly warm against the small of her back.

� I didn�t know my presence there was that important.� He said haltingly.

She smiled against his shoulder, � I didn�t either.�

--�Gentle impulsion, shakes me makes me lighter / Feather�s on my breath / Teardrop on the fire, feather�s on my breath��

He could faintly feel her heartbeats against his own, and he spread his fingers on her back, making her shiver and arch up against him slightly. He didn�t say anything, merely turning his face a fraction of an inch so that they were cheek to cheek. Letting his eyes fall closed, he inhaled her familiar scent, crisp and fruity like blackcurrants and snow.

She sighed contentedly, resting her head on his shoulder. Curling her fingers in just a little, she ran them across his shoulder blade, drawing a slight quiver from him. The absence of space between them was all too obvious as she sighed again, and ran one finger down the nape of his neck. He shuddered, turned, and his lips found hers.

The kiss was insistent and demanding, like an invisible fire burning beneath skin. Without even quite noticing what he was doing, Scout slid his arm around her waist tightly, pressing the two of them together. Faye gasped softly against his mouth, and the kiss deepened still. The song in the background faded to an indistinct hum, all shimmering harpsichord and pulsating bass notes that shook them to the core.

--�Nine night of matter, black flowers blossom / Feather�s on my breath / Black flowers blossom, feather�s on my breath / Teardrop on the fire, feather�s on my breath��

Scout stepped back, just a little. He couldn�t honestly say that it wasn�t intentional. The only thoughts he entertained while Faye was still holding onto him was that her fingers were cold, yet her touch was setting him aflame everywhere all at once. Taken by surprise, she half-fell forward and they stumbled back. His calf struck the edge of his bed and his leg gave out, causing the two of them to tumble onto it.

She pulled back from the kiss long enough for her vision to focus, and he smiled up at her. The faint light gave his eyes a strange sheen, startling blue veiled in shadows and gold.

� Where is Will?� She asked, her voice husky.

� New York, remember?� He barely had time to answer before arching up to kiss her once more, tangling his hands in her hair. She kissed him back, a finger trailing across his temple. The touch ran like bolts of lightning through his veins, and he could distinctly hear blood pounding in his ears. Without any more thought he let his hand stray to the back of her dress, and eased the zipper there down. At the same time she fumbled with the top buttons of his shirt, her cold fingers brushing against flushed skin and making him shiver.

--�Water is my eye, most faithful mirror / Feather�s on my breath / Teardrop on the fire of a confession / Feather�s on my breath / Most faithful mirror, feather�s on my breath��

She pushed the unbuttoned shirt off his shoulder, her lips easing down the length of his neck. He yielded himself to the touch, eyes half-closed. Her name rushed from his lips in a soft gasp, � Faye��

� Shh�� She silenced him with another lingering kiss, � No more talking.�

--'You're stumbling in the dark� you're stumbling in the dark�'

* * *

Rawley Academy, main hall

Josh pushed his hair out of his eyes, slung his guitar down beside his hip and walked back a few steps, grabbing a bottle of water that sat on one of the amps. He hastily tossed back the cool liquid in huge gulps, and a few feet away, Emily did the same. The audience behind them had grown very noisy, and he looked over his shoulder at them for a brief moment. The stage lights were bright and hot, and after nearly an hour of playing his hair was starting to stick to his forehead in damp threads.

Still, he loved it. Setting the bottle down, he walked back to the front of the stage, looking over the people clustered on the dance floor. Most of the girls� elaborate hairdos had been shaken loose and a few couples were snogging madly in the corners, and he repressed a smirk at the sight of one particular couple who were pretty much grinding off to one side. Can�t win �em all, he mused, tilting his hip and swung the guitar back up, catching the neck deftly with his left hand. On either side of him, Emily and Ben resumed their places, ready from the break and eager to perform again.

� Okay, this next song is called �Honey God�,� Josh said into the microphone, smiling as shouts of approval met with his announcement. The band had been getting some airplay, mostly in Boston, and it was nice to see that some people had recognised their songs. Without further elaboration, he motioned that they were ready, Alex clacked his drumsticks together to the count of four, and then they were off and running� the guitars, the drums, everything coming together in a frantic melding of music, words and sheer passion.

He closed his eyes briefly and let instinct take over, his index finger barred over the fretboard and his right hand strumming furiously. Half-opening his eyes and again flinging his hair out of his eyes with a toss of the head, he began to sing.

--�Well plastic bullets scratch my face / and broken nails scratch my back / I�m shaped by passion, enslaved by power / there�s still enough for you to have��

The crowd went crazy. Josh had played at formal dances before and he had always liked watching the sumptuously-dressed people jumping around in a frenzy, looking as though they were misplaced in either space or time, caught up in the music and nothing else.

It was moments like those that he treasured. Adored, even.

--�I stole what I already had / to have enough, to have too much / I learnt what I already knew / to know enough, to know too much��

He had written this song a long time ago, when life was decidedly more boisterous, more reckless, and definitely more sordid, for lack of a better word. Remembering the certain someone who he had written this song for, so long ago, he was even more determined to do it justice, with the rush of memories that it brought back. Conjuring up the fervour wasn�t hard, he thought as he kept on playing, catching sight of Malcolm in the crowd.

He tossed his head again, angrily this time, trying to get rid of the lock of hair that insisted on falling across his eyes at every conceivable opportunity. What he didn't know was how beautiful he looked at that moment, frustration and concentration mingling into one ardent expression that swept over his features, making him seem all the more pale and fragile.

He was heart-wrenchingly lovely to watch.

When he was up there on stage he had often felt as though he became a better form of himself, the feeling of playing in front of an ecstatic crowd almost matching a narcotic high. He winked at Malcolm as he leaned even closer to the microphone, yelling out the chorus with all the passion that he could muster.

--�And give into me, my honey god / Give into me� / Give into me, my honey god / Give into me, my� honey god��

If he thought the crowd was crazy before, he honestly didn�t know what to call them now. His enthusiasm rubbed off on them, and he noted with pleasure that Malcolm watched him, unblinking, reverence shining in his eyes.

Grinning, he moaned into the microphone, � � My honey god��

* * *

Ryder could hear the music back in the halls. Even at a fair distance away from all of it, on the edge of the Rawley grounds that just started dipping into the lake's bank, he could�ve sworn that the ground was vibrating. With a start he realised that the one distinctive voice that travelled from beyond was Josh�s, singing, howling, screaming, it made no difference.

He walked slowly across the lawns, not really knowing where he was going at all. He just felt like he had to get outside for a while, the noise and people inside the crowded hall were getting to him and it wasn�t helping that his date was clinging onto him with all the tenacity and grace of a stubborn octopus.

Rolling his eyes skyward, he wondered for a moment if it would�ve been better if he had taken Grace Banks, circumstances permitting. She may cling as well as the next girl, but at least her attention span was short and she�d get distracted easily by the next rich boy that came along. And there were a lot of those at Rawley.

It had been at least an hour since he wandered out of that stuffy hall, and strangely enough, he had no desire to go back inside. Especially not with Josh on the stage, singing what was essentially - from what snippets of lyrics that he managed to pick up out here - an impassioned declaration to another guy. Forgive him, but that brought up too many memories� vivid as though it all happened a moment ago, shaded with shame and regret.

--�My honey god, yeah��

He was lighting up again when a sudden movement on the edge of the lawns made him look up sharply. � Who�s there?� He called.

The shadows shifted and to Ryder�s surprise, Sean walked forward, his mouth set in a hard straight line.

� Sean!� Ryder exclaimed, � What are you doing here? How did you get in?�

The other boy looked at him, � The gates were open.�

Ryder raised an eyebrow, � Security at this place sure isn�t what it was.� Taking a slow puff, he asked, � Why are you here?�

� I wanted to ask you something.� Sean said, his eyes glittering in the faint light.

Ryder furrowed his brows at him, � It couldn�t wait until tomorrow?�

� It�s about Grace Banks.� Sean told him quietly, falling into step with him.

Ryder glanced at him quizzically, � What about her?�

� Did you tell her you would take her to the prom?� Sean got straight to the point.

Ryder shrugged, � Maybe. I don�t know. I can�t remember.�

� Dude, don�t do this.� Sean sighed, � Did you or didn�t you?�

� Probably.� Ryder said offhandedly, � Sean, what is this? What�s it to you what I told Grace Banks?�

� Why did you do it when you knew you couldn�t take her in the end?� Sean demanded, � She�s pretty upset over it, did you know?�

� It just slipped my mind.� Ryder shrugged, � I mean, I think she asked me when she was stretched out on my bed naked, you know, so I wasn�t exactly sure what I agreed to.�

� Ryder!� Sean exclaimed, stopping in his tracks with a disgusted look on his face.

Ryder examined the burning tip of his cigarette, � What?�

� You slept with her?�

� Half the guys in this school has slept with her.� Ryder grinned, � I thought that was common knowledge.�

� How can you just stand here and say that?� Sean raised his voice, � God, she�s like a sister to me, I can�t listen to this� you used her?�

Ryder blinked, � Well, I said we weren�t exactly dating.�

--�It�s only fair it comes to me / It�s only fair it goes to you / We share it all around��

� God!� Sean exploded, � Listen to yourself! Do you honestly not care at all? She has feelings too, you know, she was really looking forward to going to the prom with you!�

� I wasn�t going to ruin a perfectly good shag just to tell her about the crazy rules at this place.� Ryder said defensively.

Without another word Sean grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward, � Don�t say that about Grace.� He threatened.

� Or you�re going to do what?� Ryder retorted, suddenly angry. He had seldom seen Sean getting so worked up over something, and it didn't help that he couldn't understand at all why the other boy was acting this way over a thing so trivial as Grace Banks.

� I thought you were better than that.� Sean hissed, staring right into his eyes, � I thought you had some feeling in you! You�re just like the rest of them!�

� The rest of them?� Ryder laughed, not even trying to keep the scorn out of his voice, � Of course I�m like the rest of them. What did you expect? Townie sluts are there to be screwed��

� Shut up!� Sean yelled at the top of his voice, � Don�t talk about Grace like that!� With a violent jerk he shoved Ryder away.

� Can�t take it, McGrail?� Ryder taunted, � It�s the truth, you know.�

� You�re disgusting.� Sean spat, turning away. In the distance, the music roared on still.

� And you�re deluded in the workings of this town.� Ryder called after him. Tossing his cigarette butt on the lawn, he ground it out with the heel of his shoe, � Chicks like Grace Banks? They�re there for the express purpose of being shagged, you know. It�s a fact of life! Don�t you think I know what�s been going on? This is what happens in New Rawley, whether you like it or not, it�s been happening forever.� With a shrewd grin, he added, � You know, Grace told me some pretty interesting things about her mum and some of the blokes she got around with, back in her day��

Sean whirled around, a dangerous glint in his eyes, � Shut your mouth, Forrest. Now. Before I do something I regret.�

Ryder contemplated him, his fists balling at his sides. But he could see that Sean meant business. And so he kept silent, though his eyes burned with fury.

Sean gazed at him with a long look of contempt.

Ryder watched from narrowed eyes as the other boy turned and walked away.

--'But in the end it all comes back to you / It goes to you�'

It happened in an instant.

Taking a few giant strides, Ryder caught up with Sean and grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar, forcing him to turn around.

Then in a desperate fervour, his lips met the other boy's.

--' And give into me, my honey god / Give into me�'

For a moment there was nothing but the two of them, out on those darkened lawns, Ryder gripping the back of Sean's neck, the pressure exerted by his fingers hard enough to bruise, lips upon lips, vehement and reckless and violent.

And for another few moments they stood there, lingering in that kiss and shocked into submission.

--'Give into me, my honey god / Give into me, my� honey god�'

" What the FUCK do you think you're doing?" Sean shoved Ryder away, yelling out loud.

Ryder stumbled backwards, eyes widened in shock and he regained his balance a few feet away, white-faced and speechless.

Sean dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, hard. Looking as though he wanted to say something else, he didn't. Instead he glared at Ryder with disbelief, shaking his head mutely. Without another word he strode away.

Ryder remained where he stood, eyes glazing over.

No, he didn't believe it. Couldn't.

He couldn't believe he just did that.

But the want arose out of nowhere and it consumed like it never had done.

--' Welcome to the circus you freaks / Come on in, come on in, come on in�'

A sudden cold breeze came swirling across the grounds, and he shivered violently, still standing there in his shirtsleeves.

* * *

Rawley Academy, main hall

--'Welcome to the circus you freaks / Come on in, come on in, come on in�'

Josh gripped the microphone with both hands, closing his eyes to the moment, this time, this place.

He could feel the hot stage lights shine upon his face and the weight of his guitar resting against his thigh, he could faintly hear the background music pumping its energy into all that was here, all that was now. And he could barely hear it over the deafening roar in his ears, everything was on fire, everything was lightning, everything was burning heaven and sweet resplendent hell all at once.

And that was where he wanted to be. This was who he wanted to be.

Never had Josh Sutherland felt more secure in who he was, and the experience was almost cathartic. The music demanded the presence of his voice and he lent it as another instrument, melding with the guitars and the rhythm and the fury behind everything. His velveteen voice rasped, much like splintered crystal. How this one voice could sound so clear and broken at the same time, he could not know nor understand - it was howling and angered and pained but still raw, still passionate, and most of all beautiful.

--'My honey god, my honey god, my honey god, my honey god�Yeah come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in�'

He never knew he could sing like that.

Part 6

Bella�s Gas Station

Bella opened the door quietly, walking outside. The light of dawn was starting to seep from the horizon, but the street lamps were still on. Overhead, early birds chirped cheerily.

She nursed a cup of coffee in her hands and sat down on the front door steps, breathing in the morning air. The street was so deserted and so quiet.

She hadn�t slept well last night. Her talk with Grace - or rather, Grace�s revealing monologue - had upset her more than she had ever thought possible, and it made her toss and turn all through the night.

Why did it always feel like her fault? Relationships with other people� with Will, with Grace.

Grace had screwed her own life up beyond comprehension, and Will� well, between the two of them they certainly managed to do a good job of screwing up their relationship along the way� somewhere.

Damn it, she was supposed to be the one who took care of Grace; she was supposed to be the one who cared about Will most of all.

And what a brilliant job she made of it, she thought bitterly. Truth be told, she hadn�t so much seen Will since they decided to take a break from their relationship. He was too busy� always too busy. Too busy to make even the slightest room for her.

Taking a small sip of the strong, bitter coffee, she leaned back against a pillar, closed her eyes and said under her breath, � What�s wrong with me?�

� I think that should be rephrased to �what�s wrong with life?�� Sean said behind her in a dull voice, causing her to jump. The hot coffee sloshed over her hands and she yelped, � Sean, what are you doing here?�

� Out jogging.� He said, watching her put the mug down hurriedly.

She checked her watch, � But you never jog this early.�

He looked away and she couldn�t tell if he was deliberately avoiding her eyes, � I couldn�t sleep.�

She nodded, � I know the feeling.� Remembering last night, she asked, � So, how did things go with Ryder?�

At the sound of Ryder�s name his body seemed to reflexively jerk, and he glanced at her, his eyes wide, � What do you mean?�

She frowned at his fierce reaction, � Like, did you see him last night? You said you were going to talk to him��

� Oh, yeah�� he trailed off, looking at his feet.

She narrowed her eyes, � Sean, what happened?�

� Nothing!� He exclaimed vehemently, � We just� talked, okay?� Without waiting for a response from her, he started to jog away, � Look, I�ve got to go��

� Sean!� She called after him in confusion, but he waved over his shoulder and kept on running.

* * *

Jake and Hamilton�s room

Jake opened her eyes a crack and the first thing she saw was Hamilton walking leisurely around the room, gathering up assorted daily living paraphernalia and tossing them into a couple of cardboard boxes.

� You�re up early.� She commented sleepily.

He turned and smiled at her, � Morning.�

� Morning.� She raised her head slightly and peered at her clock, � What are you doing this early?�

He shrugged, � I thought I�d start on packing.�

She drew herself up to a sitting position on the bed, rubbing a hand over her eyes, � It didn�t have to be today, you know. I�m not throwing you out.�

� No,� he answered with a grin, � I�m throwing myself out, Jake.�

She watched him walking around for a few moments before letting a tentative smile steal over her face.

She didn�t need words to describe what she was feeling, nor did she think it possible to find words to describe those feelings. Her heart felt lighter than she could ever remember, and she found it nearly impossible to grasp the simple pleasure of that moment - sitting there absolutely still, watching him do, in spite of himself, what was best for her.

� I love you, you know.� She said.

He paused in what he was doing and turned toward her, his blue eyes calm and untroubled. � I know.�

* * *

Scout and Will's room

*Amnesia plays �Passive Aggressive� in the following scenes*

The crystal display on the digital clock on the dresser glowed green, 7:25am.

The curtains let in the morning sun. Not much, but enough to gently illuminate the room.

It was so quiet.

Scout lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Breathing out softly, he licked his dry lips, then looked beside him.

--'It's in your reach, concentrate / It's in your reach, concentrate�'

Faye was sprawled next to him, still asleep.

He contemplated her carefully. Her lashes were so dark against her porcelain skin that she seemed almost doll-like. A naked shoulder was barely visible from the tangle of sheets gathered around her, and she had strewn one hand over the pillow, so small and pale in the light of day.

--'If you deny this / Then it's your fault / that god's in crisis / He's over�'

He gazed at her hand. He could see the faint blue of the veins on her wrist, a translucent fragility that he wasn't accustomed to seeing.

--'It's in your reach, concentrate / It's in your reach, concentrate�'

He turned on his side so that he was facing her, reaching out and closing his own hand around hers.

She stirred, but did not wake.

He smiled lightly, watching her sleep.

*Will�s voiceover starts*

�At night we don�t have to look too hard or search too deep, because Face Value doesn�t mean much when we can�t even see what we�re dealing with. In the blackness, all we have to lead us are feelings, unconstrained and simple.�

--'If you deny this / Then it's your fault / That god's in crisis / He's over�'

* * *

Rawley music rooms

It was an early-morning practice for Amnesia, though they had partied hard - long after the prom had finished. Those were not ideal practice conditions, to be sure; but since the other band members had to leave soon, this was all the time they had to practice together for a while, not to mention that they still had material for the production to get through.

They had each dragged their bedraggled bodies over from the after-party that lasted into the early hours of morning, each having had no sleep and way too much alcohol for their own good. That was not to mention that some members of the band definitely had more fun than they had bargained for, but that was another story for another time.

Right now they were just trying to get through the practice without succumbing to sleep, headaches, nausea, the collective buzzing in their ears, whatever. All four were only functioning thanks to several demitasse of strong espresso sitting on the amps.

Alex hit the crash cymbal and Josh took the cue to enter with his guitar riff, murmuring into the microphone. His eyes fluttered closed and his voice rang out.

--'Every time I rise I see you falling / Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?'

He opened his eyes again, the light glimmering in them. Whenever the sun touched those beautiful ambiguous irises they were a clear warm green; and when he faced away from the light, they turned cerulean blue.

--'Every time I rise I see you falling / Can you find me space / find me space�'

* * *

Rawley Lake

Ryder sat on the edge of the docks, his knees drawn up to his chest. It wasn't often that he adopted a sitting position such as this. It had always seemed too fragile, too victimised to his liking. He was still wearing his clothes from the prom, the top buttons of his shirt undone, bowtie hanging loosely from his neck.

--'It's in your reach, concentrate / It's in your reach, concentrate�'

A lit cigarette dangled between his fingers, but he just watched it burn, ash building up gradually, then flaking off into the rippling waters of Rawley Lake.

The thin morning mist had not yet cleared, and even the sunlight felt cold on his skin.

*Will�s voiceover continues*

��Or maybe they are not that simple after all.�

--'If you deny this / Then it's your fault / that god's in crisis / He's over�'

* * *

Rawley music rooms

--'Every time I rise I see you falling / Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?'

Josh�s voice reverberated in the room, and he thought it sounded worn and weak. No surprise really, given the extent of last night�s festivities. Trying hard to keep his vision focused, he concentrated on picking the notes on his guitar. Beside him, Emily staggered into a chair whilst still trying to play at the same time, evidently unable to support the weight of the bass any longer. Ben followed suit. Alex pounded on the snare drum with a wide yawn.

Josh shook his head at his bandmates with a weak smile, and continued to sing, letting his eyes fall closed once more.

--'Every time I rise I see you falling / Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart? / It falls apart, it falls apart, falls apart�'

* * *

Will and Scout�s room

The air itself seemed to have been stripped of motion. Everything was so silent, so perfectly still.

Scout did not wake Faye. Instead he simply lay there, fingers entwined with hers, his tender gaze never wavering.

*Will�s voiceover starts again*

�� And poetic as it sounds, tenderness is not restrained to the night. Maybe we should be glad.�

--'Every time I rise I see you falling / Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?�

The End

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