Acknowledgements: Thanks to EV for all the info on hospital procedures. Also a big thank you to Rhysenn whose lovely Harry/Draco fics managed to cure me of my writer's block. :)
Author's note: It�s no secret that I am horribly displeased with the way this episode had turned out and consider it one of my worst to date, so I would really welcome constructive criticism in hopes of making future episodes better. In the meantime, thank you for taking the time to read this utter piece of crap.
Part 1 Teaser
*Shihad�s �Pacifier� starts up with the opening fade-in*
The sky overhead glimmered a bright cobalt blue, fluffy white clouds floating lazily across the distant horizon. The season hovered on the delightful edge of spring-turning-into-summer, and a warm breeze was blowing, bringing with it the sweet scent of wildflowers whose colourful blossoms brightened up the wayside of a stretch of empty highway.
In the distance, a red Corvette could be seen gliding down the road, going at breakneck speed. From the look of things, it had just left Carson and was now heading towards the town of New Rawley. Faye Archer was in the driver�s seat, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel in time to the thumping beat that blasted out of the car stereo.
--�You feeling good today / Cos I got told that you were / smashed up on your own motorway / But it's okay / The first upon the scene, a life support machine / But still collapse as if you were some accidental star��
� I love this song.� She sighed happily.
� Who doesn�t?� Josh Sutherland answered. He was sitting next to her, the only other passenger on this trip. Tiny with dark hair cut in a neat Louise Brooks bob, eyes hidden behind huge black sunglasses, he managed to carry off the '50s film starlet look admirably� that was, until the onlooker realised that he was in fact a very pretty boy.
Leaning forward, he turned up the volume on the stereo and sat back contentedly, grinning. The wind whipped his hair in his face and he sputtered, brushing a few tendrils out of his mouth, � I really need a haircut.�
She laughed, � I love your hair as it is.�
� But it�s so impractical.� He answered, fishing a new black beret out of a shopping bag at his feet. Ripping off the price tag, he tried to hold his hair in check with the aid of the hat. Tilting it at a rakish angle, he adjusted the rearview mirror so that he could check out his reflection.
" You look fabulous, darling." Faye told him dryly, " Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to drive here."
He adjusted the mirror back to its original position, � Does Ryder even know you�ve taken his car?�
� Like I would ever tell him I borrowed it.� She scoffed, � He wouldn�t let me touch it with a ten foot pole. But something�s wrong with my car so I had to take it into the shop.�
� Serious?� He rummaged around his pocket.
She shook her head, � Nah, just making some weird noises. Bella said she could fix it pretty fast. But you said you wanted to go to Carson��
� We could�ve taken my car.� He answered.
She raised an eyebrow, � Your car? No thank you, I don�t think I�d feel comfortable travelling in something made entirely of rust.�
� I�d rather risk the car falling to pieces than have you at the wheel.� He pointed out, smirking.
� Ooh, nasty.� She glanced at him with a mock grimace.
--�Do you know what the time is? / Is it messing with your mind, kid? / Are you hurting all the time? / And you need a pacifier / Come on, let's take a look outside��
Turning her eyes back on the road, she grinned, " I saw you checking out that hot guy in the music store."
He smiled, " Like you weren't."
She laughed, " Yeah, but I didn't make it that obvious. You, on the other hand, had to wipe the drool off the checkout counter."
" And I am rightfully entitled to drool, while you, my dear, are in fact bound to the duties of an exclusive relationship." He pointed out, " Hence, I think I'm more in the right than you are. Anyway, I think I know him." Pushing his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, he mused, " He looks pretty familiar, I think I've seen him hanging around a few gigs we did back in Boston."
" Groupie?" She asked, grinning suggestively.
" Hardly." He drawled, " Though I wouldn't mind."
" Speaking of, did I mention my roommate is dying to meet you?" She smiled, " She's been a fan since forever."
" Cute." He laughed, " I'm not that unapproachable, am I?"
" She is begging me to introduce her because she's too nervous to say hi to you herself." She glanced at him with a grin, but exclaimed loudly when she saw that he had lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply and leaning back into his seat. � Hey!� She reached over and plucked it out of his mouth, � You know how I feel about these.�
He groaned, peering at her over the top of his sunglasses, � Shouldn�t you be going after Ryder instead of me?"
She tossed the cigarette out of the window, � Oh, he's beyond help.� Looking at him again, she sighed, � But when did you start smoking? It�s really bad for your voice, you know.�
He shrugged, � Started a long time ago, actually." Hearing her groan in disdain, he hurried to add, " Don't worry, I'm only a social smoker."
" And that's supposed to be a comfort to me how?" She retorted.
" I'm not chain-smoking?" He suggested meekly.
She sighed again, shaking her head.
He rolled his eyes, holding his hands up, � I am cutting down, okay mother?�
She laughed, � Good boy.�
--�Don't look so worried you know, there ain't no hurry / Cos life's supposed to ebb and flow / now you're all clear to go / And when you're out there / No, they can't catch you / Precious star, you are the best at what you are��
They drove on for a while in silence before she spoke again, � So� you picked a lot of things up when you first came here, huh?�
� You mean things like smoking?" He laughed, amused at her transparency and touched by the obvious concern, " That�s one of the better habits I�ve picked up. A lot of things� in probably the worst possible sense, yeah.�
� What, exactly?� She glanced at him, � I mean, you have implied that things have� happened since you left England, but you never seem to go into detail.�
� The details aren�t nice.� He pointed out, � Let�s just leave it at that, okay? Most of it is behind me now and I don�t intend to revisit anytime soon. Having a horribly messed-up childhood seems to be the 'in' thing right now and whenever I talk about it, it feels like I'm trying to cash in on�� He frowned, "� pain."
She nodded, but after a beat added with a smile, � That however, reminds me of something, and believe me, you�re not going to get off the hook this time.�
He groaned, � I know where this is going.�
� Why did you get kicked out of Andover?� She looked at him, � I can�t believe you still haven�t told me after all this time. What happened?�
He grinned self-consciously, adjusting his sunglasses yet again.
--�Do you know what the time is? / What's messing with your mind, kid? / Are you hurting all the time? / And you need a pacifier / Come on, let's take a look outside / Come on, let's take a look outside��
Part 2
*Opening credits and theme song*
Rawley Boys� Academy, Common Room
Will Krudski stood in a corner of the room, talking on the phone and mindlessly toying with the cord as he spoke hesitantly, � Hi, is Bella there?�
He waited a while for Bella Banks to get on the line. � Hey,� he said softly, � Um� listen, I�m really sorry but I'll be late for our date tonight.�
Listening for a moment, he sighed, � I know. But the thing is�� He got interrupted, and paused, listening to Bella talk before replying, � Yeah, the production.�
Another pause, and he chewed on his lip, � Rehearsals are not really going to plan, and we have to spend a lot more time on them than we had planned, yeah, Finn and I are pretty stressed out about it�� Stopping again, he ran a hand over his face wearily, � Yeah, I'll be about an hour late. Listen, I�m really sorry��
" It's okay, Will." Bella stressed over the line, " I don't mind waiting."
� Great, great." He smiled with relief, " Well, I�ll see you around eight thirty, okay? Yeah� we'll do something then."
Hanging up the receiver, he still could not help a sigh. Despite Bella�s understanding, he still felt terrible for altering their plans. Rawley's Shakespearean production was really starting to pick up speed, and as student director, he had suddenly found more than just a fair load of responsibility on his shoulders. Enough to force any sort of social life out of the picture, anyway.
Jake Pratt and Hamilton Fleming sat on one of the couches, playing a video game. Will joined them and noted with disinterest that Jake was kicking Hamilton�s ass, as usual. Checking his watch, he realised that he had exactly eight minutes to himself before he was needed at rehearsals again. Sighing heavily, he tried to relax and enjoy those eight minutes to a maximum.
*Will's voiceover begins*
'The physical equation for change in momentum for an object is dp=Ft; and the equation for momentum is p=mv. Since my niche is in literature and not in physics, my idiot's version roughly translates to "upon impact, the force exerted on something is directly related to how long said impact lasts for, how heavy the thing is, and how fast it was going immediately before impact." It's quite simple to draw intuitive conclusions from that: If you're going somewhere at high speed, and you stop very suddenly, you're going to get hurt. It's only worse if you're weighed down with something - aside from the physical, responsibilities, emotions, thoughts - they can all crush you at a moment's notice, if changes arise faster than you could detect.'
� YES!� Jake exclaimed, tossing the controller on the coffee table with a loud clack, � Who�s The Man?�
Hamilton groaned, putting his controller down and admitting begrudgingly, � You are.�
� You know it.� Jake grinned, leaning back into the couch, putting her arms behind her head contentedly. Catching sight of Will�s tired appearance, she asked, � You okay, Will?�
� Yeah, you look awful." Hamilton commented, wrapping an arm around Jake�s waist.
� Thanks.� Will replied dryly, � Just what I need to hear.�
" Sorry." Hamilton apologised, " You know what I mean. You look like you could use some rest."
� The production is getting busy.� Jake commented, � How are you coping?�
� Just barely keeping myself ahead of the game.� Will admitted, sighing, � I feel like I haven�t slept in days.�
Jake and Hamilton smiled sympathetically. � Must be horrible, trying to deal with all that responsibility.� Hamilton commented, � I have a hard enough time being in the play, can�t imagine what it must feel like trying to run it.�
� Well, I don�t recommend it.� Will groaned, � And crew starts tomorrow. God, it looks just like one huge sleep-deprived hellish nightmare from now until the end of finals."
� Oh, that�s right.� Jake remembered that the crew team for Rawley Boys' were starting their training the next day, halfway through Spring Break. Glancing at Hamilton, she asked, � Do you think we�ll get back in time?�
� I think so." He said, " If we leave Carson early tomorrow morning we should make the practice.�
� Where are you going?� Will asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
Jake smiled, � We�ve got an out-of-town trip planned.� She shrugged, � You know, after everything that�s happened this semester, we thought we deserve a break. A mini-holiday for the two of us.�
Will raised an eyebrow, � Overnight trip?�
� Yeah, it�s not what you think.� Hamilton said blandly, tilting his head back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling, � She�s already given me the sexless lecture."
Will snorted with laughter, " Come again?"
Hamilton glanced at Jake, who was blushing. " We're going to some B&B in Carson," he told Will, making a sour expression, " and she asked for separate beds."
" Before you start getting any wrong ideas�" Jake jumped in quickly, " It's just a trip, okay? Why does everything have to be about sex with guys? It�s like a camp-out, except��
� Without tents and indoors.� Hamilton finished quizzically, looking at her.
� Uh� yeah.� She blinked.
� Well, wrong ideas are not my business anyway.� Will laughed, standing up, � Have fun. I�ve got to get to rehearsals.� He groaned, � Again.�
� Hang in there.� Jake told him sympathetically.
� Thanks.� He sighed, trudging toward the door. Suddenly remembering something, he stopped and asked, � Guys, is Scout coming back today?�
Hamilton glanced at Jake, � I think so.� He replied, � He said he would be back before crew starts.�
* * *
New Rawley
On Main Street, a large bus screeched to a stop next to the curb. The doors opened with a hiss and Scout Calhoun was one of the first people to jump down. Tossing a backpack over his shoulder, he looked around with a smile. Squinting against the sunlight, he made out the elegant shapes of the Rawley Academy buildings in the distance, and set off toward them on foot.
Within minutes he passed the local gas station, where Bella was working on Faye's car. " Hey!" He called, walking over.
She looked up with a smile, " Scout, you're back! How was the trip back home?"
He shrugged, " Same old. But it was nice seeing my parents again."
" It must be annoying to have only been there for a week." She remarked, " After all the time you spent away from home."
" Can't be helped." He shrugged again, " Crew starts tomorrow and Finn wants all of us to be there. Besides," he grinned, " I miss not having Faye around."
She smiled, " She'll be glad to have you back."
" Is that her car?" He gestured at the black convertible, " Is something wrong with it?"
She looked down at the car and shook her head, " She just needed me to check up on some stuff, nothing serious."
" That's good." He grinned, " I've got to go. See you later, okay?"
" Can't wait to see her, can you?" She winked, laughing.
He blushed and passed up the question, thus yielding a silent affirmation. Making a small salute, he started to walk away.
" See ya." She giggled, walking into the shop.
Scout had only turned away from the gas station when he ran into Ryder Forrest and Sean McGrail, who were coming out of the diner across the road. " Well, if it isn't Gay Boy back from the break." Ryder smirked at him.
Scout groaned. It wasn't enough that Faye was still calling him Gay Boy every chance she got, now her brother had picked up on it too. " Hi, Sean." He said, purposefully ignoring Ryder.
Sean smiled, " Hey man, how's it going?"
" Good." Scout nodded.
" Right, ignore me." Ryder said idly, lighting up a cigarette and handing Sean a matchbook, " Subtle."
" I�m not trying to be subtle," Scout said, walking away, " See ya, Sean."
" Bye." Sean grinned, pulling a pack of Malboro's out of his pocket and pushing open the matchbook.
Scout doubled back and eyed him suspiciously, " You're starting to smoke now?"
Sean rolled his eyes, " Would everyone please stop making such a big deal about it? Yes, I have, and I don't know why everyone thinks it's their personal duty to remind and stop me."
Ryder smirked, " Man's allowed to do what he wants, Calhoun, stop trying to mother everybody."
Scout scowled at him. Why was it that everyone could see Ryder was a bad influence on Sean, except Sean himself? He shook his head and started to walk away - he had much more important things to do than to engage in irrelevant banter with Ryder� making out with the nasty Brit's sister, for example. He grinned to himself in anticipation. A cellphone rang and he reached into his pocket, only to realise that it wasn't his that was ringing.
Behind him, Ryder flipped open his phone and drawled into the receiver, " Hullo?" A pause, and he said, " Yes, speaking. Who is this?"
Scout began to walk off again, only to stop in his tracks when Ryder exclaimed, his voice suddenly tight, " What? Is she all right?"
Scout whirled around. Ryder's brows were furrowed, nodding as he listened, " Yes, yes� how bad is it?"
Scout walked closer. There was only one person that he knew whom Ryder would be even remotely concerned about, and she happened to be Scout's girlfriend.
" But she's all right?" Ryder exhaled, " Yes, I understand �" He lapsed into silence, and after a few moments said, " Carson Community Hospital? Thank you for calling, I'll be there as fast as I can."
" What happened?" Scout asked as soon as Ryder hung up, " Did something happen to Faye?"
Ryder looked at him, " She was in a car crash."
" Is she all right?" Scout demanded in a shrill voice, paling visibly.
" Well, they said it's not too serious." Ryder inhaled deeply on his cigarette, trying to calm his nerves. Starting to walk off in the direction of Rawley, he muttered, " I've got to get to Carson."
" I'm coming with you." Scout said, running to catch up with him. For once, Ryder didn't object. Sean followed the two of them, " She's in Carson?"
" The hospital." Ryder nodded curtly, starting to walk a bit faster. However, Scout came to an abrupt stop, " Hey�" he said, hesitant.
" What?" Ryder asked irritably.
" Her car� it's in the shop." Scout pointed across the road, to where Faye's car was parked in the gas station.
It was Ryder's turn to grow pale, his jaw dropping as he realised what that must've meant.
" What?" Sean looked from one guy to the other, " What?"
" She always steals my bloody car when her one's in the bloody shop!" Ryder yelled, " The guy on the phone said she totally trashed the car! I am going to kill her!"
* * *
Rawley Academy, auditorium
Will looked around him. The auditorium was nearly empty, save for a few actors who were standing near the stage, looking at him and Finn expectantly. He looked at his watch, and looked toward the door hopefully. No one came through.
" We really can't afford to lose rehearsal time like this, Will." Finn sighed, " I thought you wrote up a rehearsal schedule."
" I did! And I made sure everyone's got a copy!" Will exclaimed, " I don't know why they're not here!" Looking at the people standing around onstage, he demanded, " Does anyone know where Josh and Faye might be?"
" Uh�" Malcolm Harding, a classmate of Josh, said hesitantly, " Josh said he was going to Carson this morning. I think Faye went with him."
Will tossed his clipboard aside in disgust, " Damn it!"
" They're not usually this irresponsible." Finn sighed, " I'll have to talk to them when they get back."
" They are the goddamn leads!" Will exclaimed, " And it's not like they don't know what a tight schedule we�re working on."
" He said�" Malcolm tried to intervene, " He said he would be back in time for rehearsals. I don't know what's wrong."
Will glanced at Finn, who shook his head with resignation. Picking up his clipboard again, he scanned it and sighed, " Okay, um� let's skip ahead to the next scene on the schedule. Places, everyone."
* * *
Rawley Lake
Hamilton stood just outside the patch of woods near the lake, wearing a rather large backpack and looking around furtively. Satisfied that no one seemed to be within sight or earshot, he called, " Coast is clear."
Jake wheeled her bike out of its hiding place, tossing him a helmet, " Okay, I think we're good to go."
He mounted behind her, fastening his helmet, " Do you know how much I've been looking forward to this? Life has been beyond stressful lately� everything seemed to have happened this semester."
" Yeah." She sighed, doing up her own helmet, " It'll be good to get away from it for a while. Not to mention�" she looked over her shoulder and grinned at him, " I get to spend it all with you."
" No interruptions." He smiled and they shared a brief kiss before she turned back, the engine roaring to life. The bike sailed off in the direction of Carson.
Part 3
Carson Community Hospital
The Emergency Department waiting room was relatively empty, clearly not a busy time. Ryder itched for another cigarette, but eyeing the huge �no smoking� sign on the wall, he instead settled for strumming his fingers nervously on the smooth wooden armrest of his chair, an incessant series of clicks grating on the ear. Sean watched him out of the corner of his eye, slightly amused at his loss of composure. They had come in Sean's car, with Ryder complaining loudly the whole way about how much he was going to kill Faye when he got here, but Sean suspected that the tirade was in fact just a cover for how concerned he really was for his sister.
Scout paced up and down the small length of the waiting room, checking his wristwatch before turning sharply toward Ryder, � Will you stop that?�
Ryder glanced up, � What�s your problem?�
� Your fingers,� Scout complained irritably, � The noise is driving me crazy.�
� You�re the one who�s prancing around like a maniac.� Ryder retorted.
� I'm not prancing," Scout stuck his hands deep in his pockets, " And even if I am, it's only because I�m worried.�
� So am I!� Ryder hit the armrest with his fist, harder than he meant to. Wincing, he glared at Scout.
� Guys, calm down.� Sean intervened, " We're all worried, okay? You don't have to�" He trailed off as a nurse appeared from the hallway, walking toward them briskly, � Mr Forrest?� She asked, looking at the three guys inquisitively.
Ryder jumped up, � That�s me.�
� You can see your sister now.� She informed him.
� Is she�� He began to ask, and she nodded, � She�s fine. Now, you can see her but we won't be able to let her go until someone signs the hospital release papers�"
" I'll do that." Ryder announced, but she shook her head, " I'm afraid you don't have the authority, sir. Rawley Academy had been contacted and someone is on their way to authorise the release of both Miss Archer and Mr Sutherland, who I understand hasn't got legal guardians in close proximity either."
" Josh," Ryder widened his eyes, " How is�"
He was interrupted by Ms Braden, a teacher from Rawley Girls', who had just walked through the doors. Seeing Ryder and Scout - whom she had grown to know from the school production, she marched briskly up to the nurse and extended a hand, � Kathy Braden, I�m here on behalf of Rawley Academy.�
The nurse smiled, � Great, Ms Braden, if you�ll come through with us, we�ll get everything sorted out in no time.� She nodded to Ryder, indicating that he could follow.
" Hey, what about me?� Scout stepped up, anxious, � I need to see if Faye's all right."
" She is." The nurse reassured him but shook her head apologetically, � But it's only immediate family members right now, sorry."
" Why?" Scout demanded, " You said she's fine."
" I'm sorry, it's just standard procedure." She shrugged, " You'll be able to see her soon, as soon as the discharge papers are signed."
" But I need to see her! We haven't seen each other in a week!" Scout started blabbering, his nerves getting the better of him, " She needs me!"
" Oh, please." Ryder rolled his eyes, " Get over yourself."
" Shut up, Ryder." Scout glowered, then turned back to the nurse, " Please? I won't disturb anything� anyone, I promise."
The nurse looked uncertain and Ms Braden touched her on the arm, " Surely you can cut some slack? It doesn't seem very busy here and I don't think he'll get in the way." She gestured at Scout's desperate look with a smile, " Look at the poor boy."
The nurse sighed reluctantly, " I really shouldn't do this, but I suppose it can't hurt. Come on then."
* * *
Emergency Room
" Ow, ow." Faye groaned as she moved uncomfortably, sitting on the examination bed, " Ow." She looked relatively unharmed, although she had a small bruise in the middle of her forehead. For the most part though, it was only the fact that she was sitting up ramrod straight and her constant 'ow's that gave away that something was wrong.
Josh watched her from his seat in one of the plastic chairs by the bed, " That bad?" He too was sitting up stiffly, flinching with sudden pain as he touched the back of his neck gingerly.
She grimaced, " Just think yourself lucky you didn't break anything."
" I said I didn't trust your driving." He reminded her.
" You kept distracting me!" She exclaimed, " It's not like I drive into lamp posts intentionally. Ow." She placed a hand over her left rib carefully and grimaced again. After a pause she moaned," Ryder is going to kill me when he sees his car."
He winced when he tried to nod, realising quickly that it wasn't a good idea, " Yup."
" I'm sorry." She said sheepishly.
He smiled, trying not to shake his head at the same time, " It's okay� I think. Save your apologies for Ryder, god, you're going to need it."
The door burst open, " Faye!" Scout exclaimed, running through the door ahead of everyone else, heading straight for her with a stricken look on his face.
But not as stricken as Faye, as she tried to dodge him without moving, " No hugs! No hugs!" She yelled, and then as an after effect of the yelling, clamped a hand to her ribs, " OW! OW!"
Scout stopped halfway, arms still stuck out, " Why?"
She grimaced, " Fractured ribs."
He didn't know what to do, and in the end resorted to sitting down cautiously next to her on the bed, " How bad is it?"
" Painful." She pouted. Looking up, she flinched when Ryder walked through the door. " Faye." he said, trying not to look too concerned, " You okay?"
She smiled feebly, " Yeah. Just a couple of fractured ribs."
Scout suddenly noticed Josh off to one side, shrinking away slightly when Ryder walked in. " Hey, Josh." He acknowledged the other boy, " How are you doing?"
Josh sighed, " Not as bad as her. At least I didn't break anything, it's just whiplash."
Ryder looking at him quickly, swallowing. Josh didn't miss the look, and he glanced up at Ryder before looking away again, wincing as he turned his neck. Ryder made a move as if to stop him, frowning at the expression of pain that flickered across Josh's face, but stopped himself mid-motion.
" How did you get fractured ribs from a car crash?" Scout asked Faye, wanting to touch her but much too afraid to.
" Seat belt." She sighed, " The doctor said I would've flown out through the windscreen if I didn't have it on. But as it was�" she shook her head, " The impact was too strong. Something had to break." She groaned, " And of course that something had to be my ribs. Ow."
Scout winced as he heard the pain in her voice, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him, smiling pitifully.
" Well, since it looks like you two are, however bruised, still fit to go back tonight, I think I'll go and sign the release papers." Ms Braden told them, turning back to the nurse, who led her out of the door.
" Faye�" Ryder began as soon as the two women had left the room, his anger barely constrained in his voice, " The car."
" Not now, Ryder." Faye moaned, " I'm sorry, okay? I'll make it up to you later."
Ryder clenched his jaw and glared at her. Faye, unusually sheepish, looked down.
But the look in Ryder's eyes softened almost imperceptibly, despite his expression of great displeasure. " Fine." He spat out, turning on his heels, " I'll wait for you outside."
Scout stared after him, " That was a bit harsh."
" Are you kidding?" Josh asked, wide-eyed, " That reaction was about a hundred times better than we expected. He must be getting soft." Uttering a small laugh, he struggled out of the chair, " I'm getting out of here."
" Josh," Faye reminded him, " I don't think we're supposed to leave the room until someone comes and gets us."
" With a wheelchair." Josh pointed out, " And they'll insist on using it, too. No thank you, I think I'll slip out before that happens, it's all a bit embarrassing. I'll be in the waiting room."
" But�" Faye protested.
" Besides, I feel like a really big third wheel sitting here." Josh grinned, pushing open the door and walking out. " I'll see you in a minute."
Scout smiled, impressed by the other boy's mindfulness. Josh let himself out quietly, the doors swishing closed behind him.
Faye looked at Scout, taking his hand, " You came back."
He grinned, " Yeah. I just got off the bus when I heard that you were in an accident, so I came here in Sean's car, I haven't even been back to the school yet." He frowned, " God, Faye, don't scare me like that."
" I'm sorry." She smiled with embarrassment, " I didn't mean to make such a big hassle for everyone."
He stared at her, " God, I'm just so relieved you're all right!" Resisting the impulse to hug her, he instead ran a hand across her forehead, tracing the outline of the bruise without actually touching it. " Where did that come from?"
" I banged my head on the steering wheel." She said sheepishly.
He sighed.
" You could kiss it better." She suggested with a smile. " Or better yet, kiss me."
" Can I?" He looked doubtfully at her.
" Scout, I'm not made out of paper." She emphasised, " You can touch me, you know."
He grinned and leaned forward.
" Oh�" She said as an afterthought, " but please, please avoid the ribs."
He chuckled, kissing her softly.
* * *
Rawley Academy, auditorium
Will trailed out behind everyone else, rehearsals finally finished for the night. He looked at his watch and wondered if it was worth the effort to have the date with Bella at all. He felt totally dead both mentally and physically, maybe it was better just to call her and cancel. He needed the sleep.
" Will!" Finn called from behind him, switching off the auditorium lights as the two of them walked out the door, " Do you have a minute?"
" One whole minute? I very much doubt it." Will sighed, " What is it, Finn?"
" I need to talk to you about your scholarship." Finn replied, " You know, how you're going to keep it next year."
" Yes, I know I have to be top of English to keep the scholarship." Will replied, " That was one of the conditions, I know."
" I'm not worried about that," Finn said, walking along with him, " but you're forgetting that new provisions have been put in since the scholarship was nearly cancelled."
Will groaned, " What else do I have to do?"
" Average a B plus over all your other subjects." Finn replied, " That shouldn't be too hard for you. I just thought I'd mention it because the production is taking up a lot of your time and I don't want anything to happen to your scholarship because of that."
Will stopped walking, " Average a B+ over all my other subjects?"
" That's not going to be a problem, is it?" Finn asked, worried, " I checked over your midterm results, and you cleared the mark easily."
" But that was before the production started getting stressful!" Will exclaimed, " In case you haven't noticed, I suck at all things math and science related."
" But your midterms�" Finn began, and Will shook his head, " That was when I still had the time to cram. I really don't think I can pull that for finals."
" I think the scholarship is more important than the production." Finn told him gently, " You might need to sort out your priorities, Will."
" You're right." Will ran a hand through his hair, feeling like he should be tearing it out, " Thanks for warning me, anyway. I'll try to study some more."
" If you need any help, you know where to find me." Finn told him, " See you at practice tomorrow."
Will nodded numbly, watching the teacher walk down the halls. Clamping both hands over his face, he groaned.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
Bella looked at her watch. Will should�ve made it there by now. She smoothed her skirt over her knees and looked around with boredom. Feeling too impatient to sit still, she stood up and started to pace around the room, looking out the window. Reaching for the telephone, she dialled a couple of numbers before putting the phone down again. What was the point? She knew that he was caught up in the production, he couldn't help it.
Charlie walked in from the kitchen, looking surprised at the fact that she was still there. " Will not here yet?" He asked.
" No." She sighed, starting to pace again.
" You're still waiting for him to turn up." He remarked, leaning against the doorway.
She thought the remark was redundant but answered nevertheless, " Yes, I am."
He waited for a moment before asking carefully, " Do you realise how much you've been waiting for him lately?"
Her head jerked up. " He's just really busy, daddy." She replied faintly.
" I know." He said quickly, " I was just� it was just� I'm just saying."
She didn't answer.
* * *
Carson, random B&B
Jake and Hamilton followed a matronly woman up a flight of stairs, the two of them holding hands. Hamilton couldn't stop smiling: Jake was wearing a midriff top and tight jeans that were slung low over her hips, and she looked hot. It had been a while since he'd seen her in women's clothing, and he was very sorry that he didn't get that opportunity more often.
" How about you dress up as a girl again for the Halloween Ball this year?" He whispered in her ear as they reached the top of the stairs and walked across the landing.
She laughed, " Hamilton, Halloween's like six months away."
" I know." He murmured, " Just wanted to put in an advance order."
She chuckled and was about to reply when the woman took a turn, pushing a door open, " Here's the room."
The couple walked in, looking around with mild curiosity. " TV, heating - not that you'll need it with the lovely weather we've been having - and two single beds like you asked for." The woman smiled at them, " Have a nice stay, kids. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
" Thank you." Jake and Hamilton chorused, watching the woman walk out, closing the door behind her.
Turning back to Hamilton, Jake smiled, " Well, we're here."
" You know, you're just cruel to be leading me on like this." He drawled, wrapping his arms around her waist, " The two of us all alone, in a cosy B&B in Carson where no one knows you're a boy in your spare time, and you had to ask for two single beds?"
" Watch my lips Hamilton." She enunciated clearly, laughing, " I don't know how many times I've got to say it for the message to get through: This is NOT a chance to jump me, I just thought it would be nice to get away from Rawley for a night. So don't�" She laughed when he tried to growl sexily, " Stop it."
" Don't stop it?" He raised an eyebrow, " Okay, I won't." Grinning, he kissed her deeply.
She kissed him back before pulling away slightly, " I'm serious. I don't want anything to happen that we might regret later, okay?"
" I don't think I'll regret anything when I'm with you, Jake." He said sincerely, staring into her eyes.
She smiled, " I know. But�"
He sighed, lowering his eyes to the floor, touching his forehead to hers. " Yes, nothing will happen tonight, you have my word."
" Good." She said matter-of-factly. Then, a twinkle in her eye, she added, " Of course, that doesn't mean we don't get to do other stuff."
He growled again and she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck before their lips met in another kiss.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
Will ran into the shop, gasping for breath as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing a backpack onto the counter, " Bella?"
Bella was lounging on the couch, reading a book. Hearing Will's voice, she glanced up and saw him standing there, flushed and struggling to get his shirt off. " Whoa�" She exclaimed as he dropped it on the floor, now topless and rummaging through the backpack, " what are you doing?"
He pulled a blue polo shirt from the bag - his Friendly's uniform. She stood up from the couch, her face falling. � You�re working?�
He threw the shirt on, accidentally sticking his head into one of the short sleeves and grunted with frustration as his head, unsurprisingly, got stuck.
� Tell me you�re kidding.� She demanded in disbelief, folding her arms.
He tugged at the sleeve impatiently and after a few seconds of confused fumbling, managed to get his head through the right hole. Hurriedly straightening himself up, he moaned, � Bella, I can�t say how sorry I am, but I have to go, okay?� He yanked the bag up from the counter, � I�m so, so sorry, but I completely forgot that I said I�d cover Tom�s shift today and I�m already late as it is� I�ll make it up to you all later, I promise��
She didn�t even get a chance to respond before he dashed out again, running across the street and almost crashing through the glass doors of the diner.
Part 4
Carson Community Hospital
Ms Braden leaned over the reception desk, signing the last of the release papers. Not far away from her, Sean and Josh sat in the waiting room, conversing with each other quietly. Although Sean had seen Josh a couple of times when Amnesia - the Boston-based band to which Josh belonged - had come to play at New Rawley; and Josh had heard of Sean through conversations he had with friends at school, they had only just met.
Behind them, the set of doors leading to the ER hallway opened and a wheelchair rolled out, a nurse behind it. Catching sight of Faye sitting in the wheelchair, Sean and Josh stood up, the latter smirking slightly.
" Can I please get down now?" Faye asked the nurse, her face rather red, " I feel really stupid sitting in this thing." Scout walked alongside the wheelchair, smiling at her indulgently.
Josh grinned, " Told you so. You look quite stupid too, in case you were wondering."
" Thank you, whiplash boy, for that insightful comment." She replied dryly, � And the fact that you were in the exact same predicament as I am, until you made your stealthy escape, is one to be proud of?"
" Damn straight." A corner of his lips curled up in his signature half-smile, looking rather pleased with himself at not having had to suffer the indignity of being wheeled out.
" Can I get out of this thing now?" Faye asked again, " There's absolutely no point why I need to sit here and I don't know why I couldn't have walked the long and arduous journey of twenty metres. There's nothing wrong with my legs."
" It's just standard procedure." The nurse replied, smiling, " but seeing we're nearly at the door, you can get off the wheelchair."
" Thank you." Faye replied gratefully, struggling out of the wheelchair and wincing again as a sharp pain shot through her ribs. Scout looked stricken, � What?�
� Nothing, nothing.� She hurried to say, placing a hand on his shoulder for support, � Can we please just go home?�
Ms Braden walked up behind her, at the same time as Ryder sauntered back inside, carelessly tossing his cigarette butt into the darkness outside the building, � Well, that looks like everything.� Ms Braden announced, � Okay kids, we�re ready to go.�
* * *
Friendly�s
Will carried his tray over to the counter, biting his lip as he set it down. God, he felt awful for deserting Bella like that. Truth was, he was just so busy lately that everything started slipping his mind, and it wasn't until he was leaving for their date when he realised that he had an extra shift at the diner, and it was much too late to call and switch with anybody.
The crestfallen look on her face kept wavering in front of his eyes whenever he thought of her, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could bear the incessant try-fail-hope-disappointment cycle that their relationship was stuck in.
The bottom line was, he just had no time. Everything in his world had just suddenly joined together to form a gigantic suffocating force that he could not see a way to avoid, everything demanded his attention and everything threatened to crush him under the weight of responsibility, giving him no time to even take a breath.
The production meant that he had to oversee a cast and crew of nearly 60 people who, more often than not, had no idea what they were doing; His scholarship at Rawley could be dropped if he didn't get more time to study; Entire nights were wasted if he had a shift at the diner; He still had to drop by home often to check on his mother, whose safety from his father was always a pressing concern, especially in light of recent events; Crew was starting the next day with Finn already warning them that it was going to be a full-on season� how was he supposed to fit Bella into all of this? Where did she come in? The bell above the diner�s door chimed and he snapped out of his thoughts, turning to see who had come in.
Bella walked over, a tentative smile on her face.
� Bella!� He exclaimed, surprised, � what are you doing here?�
She shrugged, � Well, I figured, if we couldn�t spend our time together on a proper date, I can at least keep you company while you worked. I have tonight free, after all.�
He stared at her, " You know I'm sorry, right? It's not supposed to be like this� you're not supposed to be fitting yourself around my commitments."
" Will, it's okay." She laughed, " I know how stressed you are. Don�t beat yourself up over it."
He sighed, � God, Bella, why are you so good to me?�
She smiled, leaning across the counter. He kissed her softly on the forehead, then again on the lips.
� Your boss won�t mind some distraction on your part, right?� She asked, grinning.
He chuckled, � Not really, unless��
His pause mid-sentence made her look up, in time to catch the expression on his face, his jaw dropping as he watched the door. She glanced back and sighed with exasperation as a crowd of forty or so teens appeared seemingly out of nowhere, cramming into the diner and spilling into the seats, yelling across the tables at each other. She had forgotten that the outdoor cinema had just reopened for the summer, and by the look of things, these kids had just come back from a screening.
�� a huge crowd of customers show up.� Will finished his sentence, his eyes narrowed.
* * *
B&B at Carson
The room was eerily quiet. Jake sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at her hands. Hamilton stood a few feet away, leaning against the dresser and contemplating her coolly.
� Jake�� He began, folding his arms across his chest.
She shook her head silently, not looking up.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, � Look, I have no idea what just happened there, but I��
� Don�t.� She whispered, � Just� don�t.�
� Don�t WHAT, Jake?� He exclaimed, � What�s wrong? One minute everything�s fine and we're together and it finally feels like our life is coming back to some sort of normal, and the next, you�re pushing me away again! What�s wrong? Is it me? What did I do?�
� Nothing.� She shook her head, � I� nothing.�
� Jake, I don�t understand!� He exploded, � You�ve got to help me out here, okay? Why are you doing this?�
� It�s not you!� She looked up, blinking, � It�s not you, okay?�
� Well, it affects me.� His blue eyes were wide and accusing, � What�s this all about? Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?� Stepping forward, he made a move as though to sit down next to her on the bed. She flinched, and he threw up his hands, exasperated, � Exactly! What�s wrong with me, Jake? Why are you suddenly so scared of letting me touch you?"
� I said, it�s not your fault!� She shook her head violently.
� Then what, is it yours?� He demanded, � Look at me, Jake.�
She avoided his eyes, � I don�t know� I don�t know. Look, I just need�� She swallowed, �I need some space right now.�
� Space from what?� He demanded, � Space from me? We've been through this already, you know that. I thought we worked things out.�
" But�" She looked down, " I'm sorry, I don't know� I don't know why this is happening, I thought�"
" You thought what?" He asked.
She glanced up at him, looking as though she wanted to speak, but she remained silent.
" Tell me." He said through clenched teeth, " I can't stand seeing you like this."
" Fine!" She blurted out, the rims of her eyes turning red, " I thought I'd be fine with this whole�" She paused for a moment as she tried to find the words, "� physical intimacy thing, okay? But damn it, I'm not, I'm�"
" Is this to do with what happened in London?" He sighed, realisation suddenly dawning on him, " It's still the thing with your mom's boyfriend, isn't it? God, why does everything always boil down to this thing with him?"
" I�m sorry!" She exclaimed, burying her face in her hands, " I just� everything just reminds me of him, everything reminds me of that night, everything went wrong and everything is still going wrong and I have no way to stop it!"
He stared at her, " Everything?"
She didn't reply.
" Everything?" He repeated, " Does this�" He gestured around the room, " � make you remember what it was like?" He swallowed, " Do I make you remember?"
" I don't remember." She whispered hoarsely, looking up, " Because I've never forgotten what it feels like. It's more than just something that happened, don't you understand? It's still here with me, it's always with me� The way I felt when he tried to�" She paused, trying to regain some of her composure, " It's a feeling - it's a disgusting, horrible, terrifying feeling�"
He stared at her, aghast.
" And it's in my blood." She murmured. " And I can't get rid of it, no matter how hard I try."
" Jake," his eyes burned into hers fervently, " when I touch you, does it feel like�?"
She stared back at him, but did not answer.
He swallowed with difficulty, " When I kiss you, does that feel like�?"
" I'm sorry." She whispered, " I'm sorry."
Hamilton clenched his jaw to stop his lower lip from trembling, " What� what am I doing to you?" He choked out, " What am I doing?"
" I�" She blinked, tears swimming in her eyes, " I want to let you touch me� but I can't."
" Because every time I touch you, you can't help but think of someone else." He sighed.
" No." She stared up at him.
" No?" He repeated.
" Because every time you touch me," a tear rolled down her cheek, " I can't help but want to die."
* * *
The road from Carson to New Rawley
*'Milk' by Garbage plays*
Sean was at the wheel, and from the rearview mirror he could see Ms Braden's car trailing behind him. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he regarded Ryder's stony expression.
" Cheer up, man." He told him, " You've got to sort out your priorities. The sister's more important than the car."
--�I am milk, I am red hot kitchen / And I am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean�'
" Only marginally." Ryder scoffed, lighting up again.
" You can't mean that." Sean smiled and shook his head, " I saw the look on your face when you found out she was in an accident. Even though you try to hide it�"
Ryder sighed, " Shut up, Sean, please do."
Sean grinned, " What? Getting too mushy for you, Mr I-Don't-Care-About-Anything?"
Ryder glanced at him, sighing again, " Fine, you want to know the truth? I'm relieved beyond belief, okay? She's the only person who I really give a damn about and I'm glad she�" He suddenly paused, making a horrified expression as he realised that he had actually started talking about his emotions, for god's sake. Shaking his head, he continued gruffly, " � isn't dead or anything."
Sean couldn't help laughing at Ryder's abrupt and very obvious change in tone, " Good to know, man. Good to know." Looking sideways, if he didn't know better, he could've sworn that Ryder was blushing just a little.
Sean grinned again, amused. Turning back to keep his eyes on the road, he remarked, " So that was Josh."
Ryder suddenly frowned slightly.
" He looked different on stage." Sean mused, " He's a lot prettier than I remembered. I honestly thought he was a girl when I saw him walk out into the waiting room."
Ryder smiled thinly, " A common assumption."
--'I am lost, so I am cruel / But I�d be love and sweetness, if I had you / I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you�'
* * *
Josh sat beside Ms Braden in the teacher's car. Peering out into the darkness that surrounded them, he fixed his eyes on the bright red taillights of Sean's car. He could just make out the dark outline of Ryder's head, leaning back against the top of the seat. He swallowed and looked away, then wished that he hadn't. Looking away involved moving his neck, and that hurt� a lot.
--'I am weak, but I am strong / I can use my tears, to bring you home / I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you�'
Faye and Scout were talking quietly in the backseat. Josh couldn�t making out what they were whispering, only that Faye was giggling a little, which then led to her inhaling sharply, � Ouch, please don�t make me laugh, Scout.�
� Sorry.� Scout whispered, " Does it hurt?"
" A little." Josh could almost hear the pout in her voice.
" I'm sorry." He said again, his voice tinged with concern.
--' I am milk, I am red hot kitchen / And I am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean / I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you / I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you�'
A dull aching had taken the place of the initial sharp pangs of pain, and Josh could feel the discomfort all the way down his spine. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat; it didn�t help much. He stared ahead, watching the dark shapes of Ryder and Sean in Sean�s car, Scout and Faye�s muffled words sometimes drifting toward him, voices so full of tenderness that he found it hard to listen to. He suddenly felt very lonely, sitting up there in the semi-darkness.
--'I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you / I�m waiting, I�m waiting for you / I�m waiting� I�m waiting� I�m waiting� for you��
* * *
Friendly�s
Will weaved through the hordes of customers, glancing wearily at the wall clock. It was late� really late, but the influx of students had in fact increased, seeing that the late-night screening of the outdoor cinema had just finished. Also, it was the middle of Spring Break, he reflected, which meant that most of the kids who went to Edmund High didn�t have much else to do these nights - except for hanging out at the diner and crowding up the place, of course. Normally he wouldn�t have minded in the least, but lately, the crazed frenzy that was his life was really starting to take its toll on him.
He caught sight of Bella, sitting at the counter and talking with a couple of kids from school. She caught his gaze and he smiled apologetically. She grinned back, making a �don�t worry about it� expression before turning back to the discussion at hand.
*a couple of dissolves with camera framing the wall clock, indicating the passing of time*
An hour later they were still there. The diner, although it had emptied out somewhat, was still busy enough to keep Will's hands full. The people Bella were talking to had left, she had sipped through three milkshakes and was contemplating a fourth, covering a yawn with her hand.
� You don�t have to wait around, you know.� Will told her as he scurried past, looking still more apologetic, � You look tired.�
She shook her head, stifling another yawn, � It�s all right, I�m good.� Secretly though, she was asking herself what the point was for her coming at all. They had barely spoken two words to each other all night.
He looked at her worriedly before walking off again, grabbing a couple of menus and heading towards yet another group of kids who had just walked in the door.
Part 5
B&B at Carson
The blinds were pulled shut, letting only a minute amount of morning sunlight filter through to the darkened room.
Jake and Hamilton lay in their respective beds, both staring up at the ceiling.
� Are you asleep?� She asked quietly.
� No.� He answered, turning to look at her.
She didn't reply or maybe didn�t know what to reply or maybe she knew that she didn't need to reply.
Sighing loudly, he flung off the covers in a sudden movement and sat up, placing his bare feet on the floor and grimaced as warm flesh made contact with the cold wooden floor. She could feel his eyes travel over her supine form on the bed, and she turned away slightly, biting her lower lip.
" This isn't working." He told her.
She closed her eyes, dreading what was to follow, " I know."
" You can't even bear to let me touch you, for god's sake." He muttered, running a hand through his hair, " How can I help you if I can't even�" He broke off, shaking his head exasperatedly.
" I'm sorry." She said for the zillionth time, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, " I'm sorry� I just can't."
He sighed, � You can�t be sorry for something that�s not your fault.�
� But it is me.� She said softly, � It is. I just�� She shook her head sadly, � I just can�t shake it. I don�t want to push you away, Hamilton, I just��
� You just have to. I understand.� He finished for her. " But�"
" But it's not working." She said with a small, rueful laugh," You said that already."
He stared at her, " You know I love you."
" But?" She prompted, feeling like life itself was spinning away from her. Love wasn't enough. Hamilton wasn't enough. In the end, there was only herself, and� the neverending fear, the memories that refused to be bleached pale by time.
" But�" he stared down at his hands, clasped together tightly in his lap, " I just can't take this anymore. We can't do this anymore."
She could feel the tears coming again, and she hated herself for it. " So you want what?" She choked out, " A sort of a break for us, or something?" It terrified her to say it, that she was giving him a chance to walk away from her, because she never wanted that. She wanted him to stay, and if he couldn't actually hold her like the way she longed him to, he could maybe still stare into her eyes in that special way that only he could, and maybe she could find comfort in his gaze.
But the words were out of her mouth and she could almost hear them fall, threatening to become reality. He looked up and she didn't want to look into his eyes, lest she saw confirmation in those blue depths. She turned her face away from him and blinked back the tears.
" No!" He sounded shocked, " Of course not!"
She turned toward him again, surprised, " No?"
" Jake, did you really think I'd break up with you?" He had an incredulous look on his face, " Have you gone insane? After everything we've been through? You need me."
She stared at him, the wave of relief crashing over her so huge that it rendered her speechless and expressionless for a moment.
" I was going to suggest that we go to a counsellor.� He said, " You know, try to work this through. It's more psychological than anything else, right? We can't work it out on our own."
She suddenly laughed, amazed at the fact that she had, for a moment or two, seriously thought that he was going to desert her. Maybe he was right, maybe she was going insane. This was Hamilton, for god's sake. Hamilton. He wouldn't do that to her, he loved her.
He loved her.
" Why are you laughing?" He asked, confused.
She looked at him, a smile still evident on her lips as she answered not the question that was asked, but it gave all the answers. " I love you."
* * *
Faye�s room
Faye felt sunlight fall on her eyelids, the early morning warmth exquisite and luxurious on her face. She smiled contentedly, and proceeded to raise her arms above her head with the intention of a good stretch.
Scout, who had fallen asleep in the blow-up armchair that he had all but claimed, was jerked awake by a high-pitched squeal of pain. � What�s wrong?� He demanded as he jumped up and rushed to Faye�s bedside, panicking.
She replied, white-faced and with a degree of difficulty, � I am stupid.� Managing a sickly smile at him, she asked, � Can you get those painkillers that the doctor prescribed for me? I think I have a need for them right about now.�
He grabbed the small prescription bottle from her table, making sure it was the painkillers that he grabbed and not her usual bottle of sleeping pills. He sighed, � First sedatives then painkillers. You�re going to overdose sooner or later.�
� You know what?� She said as he helped her sit up, � I don�t even care. I get messed up, pills make me better, yay for pills.�
� Or,� he suggested helpfully, � You could just drive more slowly.�
� Thank you, mother.� She said offhandedly, taking the glass of water that he offered. Popping a couple of the pills, she set the glass down and turned to look at him with renewed interest. � Didn�t you go back last night?�
He ran a hand through his rumpled hair and grinned self-consciously, " Well, I couldn't leave you here alone, could I? I mean, Leah is still on vacation and there's no one here�"
" Scout," she smiled, " I keep telling you, it's a couple of fractured ribs, that's all. I can still take care of myself."
" I just want to be with you is all." He looked down, " Make sure you're all right."
She stared at him. He stared back, � What?�
She blinked, then smiled, casting her eyes downward. � Nothing.� She said, reaching out to take his hand in both of hers.
* * *
Bella�s gas station
Bella sat by the gas pumps, watching Will's lanky figure approach the gas station, coming up Main Street. She made no move to get up.
� Hey.� He greeted her.
� Hey.� She echoed, looking up at him.
� We never got a chance to hang out together last night.� He said regretfully.
� Yeah, I�m sorry I bailed.� She sighed, � I guess I was more worn out than I thought I was.�
� Nah, it�s cool.� He shrugged, � I mean, you didn�t have to be there anyway. You must�ve had something better to do with your time than just to sit there and watch me work.�
She stared at him, but he didn�t notice. � Breakfast?� He suggested cheerfully.
She smiled, standing up. But before she could even answer, he suddenly clamped a hand to his forehead, � Oh my god, Crew! I completely forgot!� Stricken, he turned to her, � I can�t believe it, it totally slipped my mind. We have our first practice today!�
She would've never believed that it took so much effort to force one smile, � It�s okay Will, just� go.�
He threw a worried look over his shoulder as he sprinted off, leaving her standing immobile in the sunlight.
� What are you looking at?� A voice behind her asked a moment later, and Bella jumped, whirling around, � Sean! Hi.�
The blond boy squinted at the direction that she was staring at, � Is that Will? Man, did you like, propose marriage or something? I�ve never seen that guy run so fast.�
� Oh, ha ha.� She grimaced, � Funny, Sean. He just remembered he had crew practice.�
� Oh, yeah.� He nodded. After a moment he asked, � So did you hear about Faye and Josh?�
� What about them?� She asked, puzzled.
� They were in a car accident last night.� He told her, watching her eyes widen in alarm.
� Really?� She demanded, � Are they all right?�
" Pretty much.� He answered, � Got a bit bruised though� Faye's got a couple of broken ribs, I think."
" And Josh?" She asked.
He shrugged, " Just whiplash."
" Ouch," she grimaced sympathetically, " At least they're all right."
" You're quiet today." He remarked, " Are you okay?"
She smiled weakly, " I don't even know anymore."
* * *
Rawley Lake
The crew team had just pulled up to shore, Finn forgoing his usual spot in the motorboat for the coxwain seat instead. The team struggled out of the narrow canoe, massaging their sore arms and shoulders. First day back at training was bad enough, but add to that the first seat - Fleming - not showing up at all, it wasn't surprising that everyone looked as though they were going to drop dead on the spot.
That was also why, when Jake and Hamilton came tearing all the way up the bank from the grove of trees where they had just hidden Jake's bike, they received a lot of dirty looks from the rest of the team. They tried their best to ignore the others' resentful glares as they ran toward Finn, coming to a stop in front of the teacher and gasping for breath.
� Mr Fleming, Mr Pratt.� Finn looked at them sternly, � I see you finally decided to show up.�
� Sorry, sorry.� The two panted.
" First day back at practice and two members of the team had already failed to make an appearance at all." Finn shook his head with disappointment, " I'm not pleased with the two of you."
� We�re really sorry.� Jake spoke up, � We took a trip yesterday and it took longer for us to get back than we thought and when we got back it was already��
� I don�t really want to hear it.� Finn silenced her mid-sentence, � And 'taking a trip' doesn't qualify as an excuse in my book. I don't want to see this happen again, you understand? Consider this a warning."
� Yes, sir.� Hamilton replied dully, exchanging a miserable look with Jake.
" Practice same time, same place tomorrow, and I expect you to be there." Finn was getting awfully fed up with people not showing up where they were supposed to be, that was clear. He sighed, waving Jake and Hamilton on. The couple turned and headed off toward the dorms dejectedly.
On the way they passed Will and Scout, who stood by the lake talking. More accurately, Scout was telling Will something, and Will was freaking out.
" What do you mean they're both injured?" He exclaimed, " How bad is it? Can they still go to rehearsals? How long is it going to take for them to heal completely? Oh my god�"
" What's going on?" Jake couldn't help overhearing.
" Faye and Josh were in a car crash last night." Scout told them.
" Oh my god," Jake and Hamilton exclaimed in unison, " Are they okay?"
" Sort of?" Will shrieked, " Are you kidding? They are immobile! What am I going to do? What is the production going to do? We can't afford to lose Romeo and Juliet at the same time! We are so screwed! Does Finn know?"
Hamilton dodged his line of rapid-fire questioning and instead asked Scout, " What do you mean 'sort of'?"
" No lasting injuries," Scout said, " but yeah, they're not going to be moving much in the next couple of weeks� at least Faye isn't. Her injuries are a bit more serious than Josh."
" Is anyone listening to me?" Will asked wildly, " This is unbelievable. We are so dead. What am I going to do?"
" Well, calming down would be a good idea." Jake offered mildly, " Look, the production doesn't open for another six weeks, they are going to be fine, stop worrying."
Will looked pleadingly at Scout for affirmation, and the other boy shrugged, " She's right. Look, Will, you're just stressed at the moment, okay? Everything will be all right."
" Yeah, don't worry about it." Hamilton consoled Will, who was looking more disoriented every day. Still, he couldn't concentrate too hard on Will's - or anyone else's - problems right now, he mused as he glanced at Jake. They still had had their own share of� god, life� to sort out.
She caught his fleeting glance and sighed inwardly. Of course she knew what he was thinking - it was kinda hard not to.
" Well, we've gotta go." Hamilton informed the other two none too subtly, " Catch you guys later, okay?"
" And if you see Faye before we do," Jake didn't forget to tell Scout, " tell her I'll drop by to see her sometime soon."
" Oh, yeah." Hamilton remembered his manners, " Josh too."
Scout nodded and the couple turned away, heading toward the dorms. Scout watched them go before turning back to Will, " I better go too."
" Going to see Faye?" Will asked halfheartedly, already trying to figure out a new rehearsal schedule that wasn't going to impair either the production's progress or the leads' health too much. So far, he was coming up blank.
Scout grinned and started to walk away, heading in the direction of the girls' dorms, � Yeah. Her roommate�s not here so she has no one to look after her, so��
� Playing Mr Perfect Boyfriend 24-7, yeah, I get it.� Will smiled suddenly, shaking his head, � God, I feel like even more of a moron next to you.�
Scout stopped in his tracks, � What?�
Will looked away, � Nothing.�
� You sure?� Scout asked, � Is something wrong with Bella?�
� No.� Will couldn't help a grimace, � I mean� I guess, actually�" He exhaled heavily, " Yeah, there is.�
Will shook his head, � Nah, it�s all right. It�s nothing serious�" He paused again, chewing on his lower lip and wondering how much truth was in that, " Well, nothing fixable, anyway. I just have�" He sighed again, " I just have too many things on my plate right now, that's all. There's not much I can do about it."
Scout watched him, � Will, I hate to come across all holier-than-thou, but�"
Will cracked a grin. Scout shrugged bemusedly and continued, � But you�ve got to sort out your priorities at a time like this, you know? Some things have to be more important than others�"
" And Bella?" Will interrupted, looking at him.
Scout was silent for a moment. " Come on, man." He finally said, " This is Bella we're talking about here."
Will nodded, thinking. " You know what?" He announced, " You're right, I've got to sort this out. Bella needs to be treated with more respect than this."
Scout smiled without saying anything.
" I�m going to go over to her place right now." Will decided, " Try to straighten some things up.�
� Sounds like a good idea.� Scout hit him on the arm, grinning, � See ya later.�
Will smiled, watching the shorter boy saunter off in the direction of the girls� academy. Turning his head in the direction of the town, he squared his shoulders and nodded resolutely, determined to make a fair go at it with Bella this time.
Part 6
Rawley Boys� Academy common room
Josh perched himself on the edge of the couch and nudged the switch on his practice amp with his toe, turning it on. He had taken to practising in the Common Room in the holidays instead of in the music rooms, preferring the wide open space that few people graced during Spring Break, most of the kids having gone home - or at least away from school - these couple of weeks.
He tugged on his guitar strap, adjusting the length. With considerable effort he managed to loop the wide leather strap over his head, and stood up from his seat on the couch. The guitar slid down and hung suspended against him for a moment, before he grimaced and sat down again, the weight evidently putting too much strain on his injured neck.
� Need any help?� Sean asked from the doorway.
Josh looked up, surprised, � Hey."
" Hi." Sean replied, walking into the room. He glanced around, obviously impressed although he tried not to show it, � You okay here? Need me to help you with anything?�
� No, it�s all right.� Josh winced as he took the guitar off again, turning the amp off in the process, � I guess I�ll just have to get used to sitting around for a few days without moving at all.� He sighed regretfully, " And just when I was starting to get used to having the place to myself."
" That sucks." Sean said sympathetically, sitting down on another couch. Still wide-eyed, he looked around and whistled through his teeth, � Wow. Now I know why Will was so set on coming. Flash place you've got here.�
Josh laid his guitar flat on his lap and plucked listlessly at the strings, � Yeah� I guess.� Peering at Sean curiously, he asked, � You don�t go to Rawley, do you?"
Sean shook his head, smiling, � Please don�t say you can�t tell me apart from the guys who actually go here. Have you seen Ryder around? I�m supposed to be meeting him here. He figured since there aren't many teachers here either, no one would get around to kicking me out.�
Josh brushed hair out of his eyes, � Ryder? I haven�t seen him this morning.�
� He's never on time anyway. I guess I�ll just have to wait here until he shows up.� Sean yawned, but his eyes lit up immediately when he saw the small mountain of video games scattered across the table. � Hey, you don� t mind if I play around with some of this, do you?� He asked, already picking one of the controllers up.
" Huh?" Josh looked up blankly, blinking as Sean's request registered, � Oh! Not at all, go ahead.�
He watched Sean fiddle with the controller, looking as though he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. Looking down, he tapped his index finger lightly on the neck of the guitar, making harmonics ring out. Glancing back at Sean again, he frowned, opened his mouth and closed it again.
Sean was oblivious as he started a game. He was enthusiastic, but clearly lacking in skill, as the beeping �game over� sounds would soon testify. He laughed, a little embarrassed, and set the controller down, " I haven't played in a long time." Turning around, he found Josh staring at him intently. Frowning a little, Sean gazed back, confused.
" How is Ryder these days?" Josh finally asked, his voice so soft that Sean could barely hear.
Sean looked at him, contemplating what to say. He knew of the complicated entanglement that was Josh and Ryder's history, and to be honest, he had no idea what to say to the boy who, in Ryder's own words, was the 'only thing in his entire being that had ever come across as some sort of guilty conscience'. Ryder Forrest's guilty conscience, that was a big tag for such a tiny person.
Josh stared down at the guitar, uncomfortable with Sean's thoughtful gaze. He resorted to toying with the pick-up switch, absently tucking his hair behind his ear.
" Ryder� he's good." Sean answered simply, not sure what else to say. Trying to lighten the mood somewhat, he grinned, " Of course, he's pretty pissed right now� Faye trashing his car and everything."
Josh glanced up and smiled lightly, his turquoise eyes flickering across Sean's face for a split second before looking down again. " So� he likes it here?" He enquired shyly, " At Rawley I mean?"
Sean shrugged, " Not really. He'd split if he had a chance. But it looks like �" He trailed off, not thinking it wise to tell Josh about all the record-altering, student-file-hacking troubles that he and Ryder had encountered a while ago.
" Yeah?" Josh watched him carefully.
" I think he's repeating the year." Sean decided to say, " He told me he'll probably have to stay another year at Rawley, he hasn't got enough credits to graduate."
Josh blinked and looked down again, expressionless.
* * *
Bella's gas station
" Bella?" Will poked his head through the door, seeing no one at the counter. He was breathing heavily, having rode his bike into town, his hair windswept and face red from the exertion.
He was just about to check upstairs when a voice said behind him listlessly, " Hey."
He whirled around, " Bella!"
She watched him with a weary look in her eyes. He noted that she was holding a wrench in her hand, wearing grubby gloves that came up to her elbows. Clad in overalls and long blonde hair tied up neatly, she was clearly in the middle of work.
But that didn't matter, he reflected. She squealed as he promptly wrapped his arms around her, " What's going on?"
" Nothing." He smiled, " Except�" Lowering his head, he kissed her, placing a hand behind her neck as his lips sought hers passionately.
And for a while, it finally felt as though things might be all right again.
She pulled back, slightly breathless, " Whoa. What was that for?"
" Me getting my priorities straight." He told her, kissing her again. She smiled against his lips.
" You do know that you're really important to me, right?" He whispered, " I know things haven't been going in our favour lately, I just didn't feel like I could be everywhere at once."
She nodded, " I know."
He smiled apologetically, " But I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. I really am, and I'll make more of an effort from now on, I promise."
She smiled, kissing him again.
" So we're cool?" He asked, still holding her in his arms and not caring that engine grease from her overalls were rubbing off on his white shirt.
She beamed, nodding vigorously. But before she could say anything, a frantic voice called from across the street, " Will! Oh, thank god, Will!"
The two of them turned to see Vicki - the owner of Friendly's - running toward them. Her hair was a mess, she had ketchup stains all over the front of her shirt, and she looked totally and utterly panicked. " Will, I'm so glad you're here." She said breathlessly, " Sam just called in sick and I can't get anyone to cover for him and we've got customers coming out of my ears and I just can't get around the tables fast enough and there're so many things to do before the lunch rush and�" She paused, gasping for breath.
Will gazed at her, feeling a feeble twisted smile crawl over his face.
Vicki stared at him, a plea in her eyes.
" Vicki, I�" He started to refuse, then lapsed into silence. The look in the woman's eyes was so desperate that he couldn't - he just couldn't - say no.
But� he tried to tell himself, priorities, man, priorities. Get a grip.
Bella shifted away from his arms, tugging on her gloves and looking down, the smile on her face fading quickly.
" Please, Will." Vicki pleaded, " Please. I can't deal with crowds this size on my own."
Will turned slowly to look at Bella, but she avoided his eyes.
He swallowed, staring hard at her and hoping for something, anything to indicate that she was okay with it, that she still knew she was a priority with him - always would be.
But was she?
He suddenly realised that he didn't want to think too hard about that.
*Coldplay's 'We Never Change' starts to play*
" Yeah, Will." Bella finally spoke, her voice as distant as the clouds overhead, " Go. Go and help out."
--'I wanna live life, never be cruel / I wanna live life, and be good to you�'
Will swallowed, closing his eyes briefly before he turned to Vicki, " All right, I'll come over."
" Oh, thank you, thank you!" Vicki cried, sighing with relief as she started running back to the diner, calling over her shoulder, " You don't have your uniform here, do you? Doesn't matter, I'll get you a spare one�" Her voice trailed off as she disappeared into the diner.
Will's throat felt dry as he glanced at Bella, who was staring intently at the ground. " Bella," he began, " I'm�"
" Don't bother saying sorry, Will." She told him, keeping her eyes down, " You know it's what you always say, and I know it too, there really isn't any need to say it out loud anymore."
--'I wanna fly, and never come down / And live my life, and have friends around�'
" But�" He started to say, but she shook her head, " It's all right. Go. I'll still be here after you finish your shift."
He nodded, turning to leave.
Under her breath to make sure that he didn't hear, Bella laughed bitterly, " I mean, I'm always here, aren't I?"
Will turned back, " What did you say?"
" Nothing." She shook her head again, still staring at the ground, " I didn't say anything."
He swallowed again, " You know I love you, right?"
She didn't look up, and he could only see her forehead lower a little, the merest hint of a nod.
He sighed, walking off in the direction of the diner.
*Will's voiceover starts*
'What can I possibly say to make it better? That life is not supposed to be like this? That emotions can somehow transcend principles that we, as mankind, have made up regarding our physical surroundings? But feelings, like many other things, are sometimes more predictable than we give them credit for. If you move too fast and stop too suddenly, you get hurt. If we love too much and fall over the unseen obstacles that spring up on our way, that pain goes still deeper. You get whiplash when your spine gets knocked out of alignment as momentum propels you forward, that's bad enough; But when we love and then stumble, the force behind that could be powerful enough to break us all.'
--'We never change, do we? No, no� / We never learn, do we?'
After she heard the glass door of Friendly's swish open and then closed, Bella finally looked up, hastily wiping away a tear that had trailed across her cheek.
* * *
Rawley Lake
Scout sat on the docks, shielding his eyes against the sunlight and looking across the water. Faye lay next to him, her head in his lap. She was wearing a pair of wire-rim glasses instead of her usual violet contacts, and the sunlight flickered in her eyes, making the irises look green and brown and golden all at the same time.
--'� I wanna live life, always be true / I wanna live life, and be good to you�'
" Are you sure you're comfortable like this?" He asked.
" Mmm." She affirmed, " I feel like I could doze off."
He chuckled, " By all means do. I don't think you've slept decently last night anyway. You kept tossing and turning."
She placed a hand lightly over her ribs, " And the fact that you're pointing that out would automatically lead to the conclusion that you hadn't slept much either."
He smiled, " I'm fine. Really."
--'I wanna fly, and never come down / And I live my life, and have friends around�'
Their eyes met, and he reached out, running a finger across the curve of her jaw. She caught his hand in hers, pressing it lightly against her cheek.
--'We never change, do we? No, no� / We never learn, do we?'
* * *
Jake and Hamilton's room
--'So I wanna live in a wooden house / Making more friends would be easy�'
Jake looked out of the window, and could just make out the figures of Sean and Ryder as they sauntered across the quad, cigarettes dangling from their mouths. She watched them blankly, too occupied with her own thoughts to give much worry to Ryder's 'leading Sean astray', as are most people's opinions nowadays.
It killed her to be so close to Hamilton, but not being able to touch him, not really.
The near-rape nightmare in London had scorched its terror in her mind so deep and so prominent that she was forced to live with the painful consequences, months after it had happened. She feared not being in control; she feared being touched.
She was scared, and she wanted him to hold her, to whisper in her ear that it would be all right, like he often had done in the past� except that this time, he could not. Because the exact thing that she feared the most was him, holding her in his arms. It instinctively led to too many memories, the sheer horror of it all.
She had tried to fight it ever since they had gotten back together, and to a degree, she had managed to repress the icy black dread that bubbled up in her stomach every time he so much as held her hand. But it was one battle that she lost: their trip to Carson had finally brought it all out to the surface, his tender kisses and loving touch now nothing but reminders of had happened that night. New Year's Eve, the darkened hotel room, blurry moon glowing beyond the window, Rohypnol pumping through her veins.
She shook her head and shut the scene away from her mind. She was getting good at doing that.
The door behind her opened, and she turned to see Hamilton walk in, the Yellow Pages tucked under his arm. He smiled at her briefly, flopping down on his bed and flicking through the pages.
--'Oh and I don't have a soul to save / Yes, and I sin every single day / We never change do we? / We never learn, do we?'
She sat down next to him, careful that their hands did not touch where his rested on the bedspread, supporting his weight; and hers lay folded on her lap.
He flipped over a page and stopped, having found the section that they were looking for.
She glanced at him, and together they turned their gaze back to the book that lay open on the bed, staring down at the section labelled 'counselling services'.
