Featured songs from this episode are available for download. Just right click and choose 'Save Target As'.
This Love by Craig Armstrong feat. Elizabeth Fraser
Author's notes: The title of this episode was inspired by Massive Attack's 'Group Four'. Some phrases used to describe music are referenced from Placebo articles, I can't take full credit.
Acknowledgement: Thanks to Debi, for doing a wonderful job on beta-reading, as always. :)
Part 1
Teaser
Bella's Gas Station
The bedroom that Bella Banks shared with her sister was cluttered with sleeping bags, pillows and a couple of overnight bags strewn here and there, tossed carelessly to the corner. If one looked closely, they would see not only articles of clothing, toiletries, make-up bags and other assorted paraphernalia, but also a corner of a white corset poking out of one of the bags.
Bella sat cross-legged on the cream-coloured bedspread, letting Faye Archer run a wide-toothed comb through her hair, which had just been set and was tumbling down her back in blonde ringlets. Jake Pratt was sprawled on the floor, leafing through a couple of Seventeen magazines. The three of them were in pyjamas, and the mellow sound of Air's 'La Femme d'Argent' poured out of the small stereo by the bed.
*Will's voiceover begins*
'I want to talk about love. I want to talk about support. I want to talk about friendship and everything that goes in between the gaps. But most of all, I want to talk about the people. How strange it is that we can be so limited in our physical being, yet always manage to find means through which touch each other's hearts. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, just sit back and watch. You'll understand.'
" We should do this more often." Faye commented, putting the comb down and picking up a can of hairspray, " Close your eyes." She instructed.
" Definitely." Bella agreed, shutting her eyes obediently, " I feel like I'm losing touch with all my girlfriends. It's nice to just�" Faye sprayed the hairspray liberally around her head, and she stopped talking for a moment, waiting until the fine mist had settled before continuing, " �hang out."
Jake laughed, reaching for a bottle of nail polish and sitting up, ' I'm just happy to be a girl for once." Her eyes widened as she saw Bella, " This look really suits you."
" Really?" The blonde asked, getting up and walking toward her dresser, examining herself in the mirror.
" You know," Faye mused, catching Jake's comment and turning to scrutinise the androgynous brunette, " I�m intrigued by this whole cross-dressing business. What is it like for you?"
Bella turned from the dresser, gingerly touching the curly tendrils that framed her face, " Yeah, I can't imagine it. How do you live as a boy?"
Jake shrugged self-consciously, " I don't know. Um�" Tugging on her hair, she said, " It's like a mask, I guess. No, hold that," She paused again, thinking, " It's not really a mask." Playing with the bottle of nail polish, she glanced up, " I mean, being a boy kinda shields me from the outside world a little, but I'm not really hiding. Does that make sense?"
The other two looked blank.
" It's like�" Jake clicked her fingers, " Armour, in a way."
Faye nodded slowly, " I can understand that. I think." Grinning, she added, " This sounds really stupid, but I feel the same way about my contacts."
The other two laughed. " What do you mean?" Bella asked.
Faye walked over to stand by Bella, facing the dresser and gazing into her reflection, " Without my purple eyes, I feel sort of naked. It's like a security blanket."
" Yeah, that's what I mean." Jake agreed, smiling wryly, she remarked, " It's ironic, for me anyway. I mean, I'm supposed to be a girl."
Faye laughed, picking up another bottle of nail polish from the dresser and examining the bottle. " We all have our quirks."
Jake smirked, " Except some are weirder than others. What about you, Bella?"
The blonde looked up, " I don't know. I don't think I have something like that."
" You sure?" Faye asked, mildly surprised, " No security blanket?"
" There's got to be something." Jake prompted, " Something that makes you feel better when you have it close to you."
Bella thought, then smiled, " Uh� Will is like that, I guess. He's my security blanket."
The other two girls grinned. " Cute." Said Jake, " I guess that's the way with me and Hamilton as well."
Bella nodded, and the two of them turned to look at Faye expectantly. The other girl didn't notice, beginning to apply the nail polish to her index finger. It was only after a moment's pregnant pause that she glanced up, " What?"
" Well, what about you?" Bella prompted, " I mean�"
" Josh." Jake said slowly, " He's your best friend."
" We've all been there." Bella threw her a knowing grin.
Jake chuckled, undoing the top on her bottle of nail polish and raising an eyebrow at Faye.
Faye widened her eyes, " Josh? Really? Is that what you guys think? That�" She pointed a finger at herself, " Me� and Josh?"
" We all saw that kiss after the concert at Edmund." Bella pointed out, thinking back to a couple of weeks ago, when Faye's best friend first arrived in New Rawley.
Faye laughed out loud, " Please! He does that to everyone."
Jake looked at her, " So�"
" There's no 'you and Josh'." Bella was surprised.
Faye laughed again, " God, perish the thought. I mean�" She waved a hand in the air, " Of course I love him. Who wouldn't? But I don't�" She rolled her eyes, " He's just such a princess."
The other girls burst out laughing. " You know, if he hears what you're saying about him�" Jake commented.
Faye shrugged, " What? He knows what he is."
" Okay." Bella laughed, " We were just wondering. You guys are very close, you know."
" Oh, I know." Faye agreed, " I guess the degree of intimacy we have is kinda off-putting for most people."
" Off-putting for people� Like Scout." Jake said, watching her reaction.
" Scout?" Faye repeated lightly, beginning to apply the nail polish again.
" As in, 'you and Scout'." Jake clarified, grinning meaningfully.
Bella giggled, " Ah ha."
Faye paused for a moment, a tinge of pink colouring her cheeks. " Um� well." She shrugged a little bashfully, much to the other girls' amusement, " Yeah, uh, whatever."
Bella and Jake took one look at each other and cracked up. " God, I never thought I'd see the day when Faye Archer is at a loss for words." Jake grinned.
" Shut up." Faye threw a hairbrush at her. Jake ducked, laughing.
" So how is everything between you two, anyway?" Bella asked.
Faye looked up, still blushing, " I don't know." She said honestly, " I don't know."
" You've done a lot for him lately." Jake remarked.
Faye shrugged, " Yeah, maybe. I don't know."
" You seem to 'not know' a lot where Scout's concerned." Bella observed with a smile.
" Seems that way, doesn't it?" Faye tugged on a strand of hair, turning to look at her reflection again.
The other two watched her. " You know," Bella wondered, " While we're doing our stereotypical girl stuff, what do you think the guys are doing right now?"
Jake laughed, " Easy. Stereotypical guy stuff. Sports on TV, loud industrial rock, talking about girls, sex."
The other two looked at her, while she raised an eyebrow and wondered if there was any real need to clarify, " Talking about sex."
Bella and Faye glanced at each other, then back at Jake, who blinked and said, " Probably talking about us."
* * *
Rawley Boys' Academy, Common Room
*The music abruptly changes to Stabbing Westward's 'Shame'*
The common room was deserted, its usual inhabitants out on the town and making the most of a Saturday night. Only a few people remained in, three of whom were sitting side by side on one of the large couches that faced the TV screen. Music blasting out of a stereo drowned out all other sounds in the room, and one had to half-shout just to be heard.
" You think they're talking about us?" Hamilton Fleming mused, staring idly at the basketball game on TV.
Scout Calhoun popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth. " Yeah, like, what are they going to talk about?"
Will Krudski extended his long legs over the coffee table, reached into Scout's popcorn bucket and grabbed a handful. He thought for a moment, then decided, " I don't think I want to know."
Hamilton and Scout glanced at him quizzically. Will shrugged, looking away and chewing with studied nonchalance.
There was a beat, which would've been silence had the background music not have been so loud.
--'I don't know if I am real without you / What is left of me without you / I don't know what's real without you / How can I exist without you�'
" Girls are strange�" Scout said slowly.
" Yeah." Will and Hamilton agreed.
There was another moment of verbal silence, while they darted quick looks at each other out of the corners of their eyes.
" What do you think they're doing?" Hamilton finally asked no one in particular.
Will and Scout looked at each other, then simultaneously turned their heads to one side. Hamilton watched in confusion, leaning forward to check out what it was that they were looking at.
The three of them peered at Josh Sutherland, who was perched on another couch, leaning his elbows on the coffee table and carefully painting his nails with sparkly blue nail polish.
He looked up when he sensed that all eyes in the room were on him, and smiled knowingly. Putting a final stroke on his little finger and holding his hands up for all to see, he grinned, shaking his dark hair out of his eyes, " Probably this."
--'I don't know if I am real without you / What is left of me without you / I don't know what's real without you / How can I exist without you�'
Part 2 *Opening creds and theme song*
Faye's room
Scout and Faye had long since claimed her dorm room as their hang out spot, turning up whenever nothing else seemed to be going on. Leah, Faye's roommate, didn't mind. As she herself so eloquently put it, the only time she was ever in the room was when she was either passing out or was passed out, and hence presented no problems to the other two.
Scout was doing his maths homework, settled comfortably in Faye's transparent blue blow-up armchair; and Faye was sitting on her bed, her legs wrenched into the lotus position, reading a magazine. " Gwen Stefani or Shirley Manson?" She suddenly asked, peering over the top of it.
Scout raised an eyebrow, leaning back on the armchair and making it squeak under his weight, " Since when do you play this game?"
" Since Josh picked it up from you guys." She answered, propping the magazine on her lap, " And put his own spin on it - girls, guys, gender benders� I have to say, his options are a lot more interesting."
Scout's expression darkened slightly at the mention of Josh's name. " Is that right." He said flatly.
" Mmm." Faye pretended not to notice his evident shift in tone, glancing at the magazine again, " So, who is it?"
He shrugged, " Uh, Shirley, I guess."
" She's sexier than Gwen." She remarked, starting to flick through the magazine again.
" Is that what Josh thinks?" Was his immediate reaction, and it wasn't until she raised an eyebrow at him that he realised he had said it out loud.
" Actually, no. Personal opinion of mine." She told him with a slight smirk, then added as an afterthought, " Josh likes blondes."
He gazed at her thoughtfully, wide violet eyes that gave off a crafted air of innocence and ice-blonde hair that she was perpetually bleaching.
She managed to hold his gaze for a few seconds before averting her own, glancing out the window instead, " It's a nice day today."
" What?" He snapped out of his reverie and looked outside, confused.
" Summer's coming." She said simply, turning back to glance at him, " And Spring Break's nearly here. What are your plans?"
" Home for a few days," he told her, " then it's straight back here again. Finn wants crew to start before Spring Break finishes, so we're being forced to come back early. What about you?"
" Well, I did make plans with Ryder to run around the country for a while." She laughed, " But I don't know what's happening now that�" She paused suddenly, looking outside again.
" Now that Josh is here?" He finished for her, standing up and walking over to the window.
She shrugged.
" So you'd probably just stay here with him." He commented, his blue eyes clouding over.
" He's my friend, Scout." She answered, seemingly unable to meet his eyes, " And we haven't�"
" Spent enough time together lately, I know." He finished with a hint of impatience, standing up and beginning to slowly pace across the room.
She watched him, attempting to hide a smile but evidently not trying very hard.
" Faye." He suddenly turned around, demanding, " Can I ask you a question?"
" Depends on what it is." She examined her nails, still smiling.
He took a deep breath, " Are you and Josh�" Taking a couple of steps toward the bed, he stopped a few feet away from her, gazing at her intently, " What are you? I mean," he hurried to make himself clear, " are you just friends? Or are you�" He shrugged, suddenly self-conscious and trailing into silence.
She watched him with that peculiar smile as she asked, " Why do you want to know?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it again. She continued to look up at him, every inch the phoney innocent.
He licked his lips subconsciously, " Uh�"
" Yeah?" She tilted her head, a lock of hair falling across her eyes as she grinned with that sort of teasing grace that seemed to come so damn easily to her and made him want to hate her for it.
He was perfectly aware that she knew what he wanted to say, to do, every step of the way, and she seemed to be perpetually waiting, waiting, waiting for him.
He sensed that waiting, that quiet sort of yearning coming from her, but being Scout Calhoun, a.k.a. the guy who really didn't understand subtlety at all, he hadn't quite interpreted it as anything. For so long, he was too wrapped up in Will's betrayal, Bella's touch and Bella's smile, and the 'traumatic' events of his life in this past year. He had been trapped inside that doleful adolescent stratosphere from which escape seemed impossible.
Until one day, just one of those days�
He had come out of the constant daze that shaped his waking hours and - saw her.
He had stepped from that metaphoric mirror in his mind, away from all that self-pity for one moment to really look at the world around him and - saw her.
He had torn himself away from what he once thought was the most perfect love in the world and - saw her.
He looked up from the pathetic mess that was his life and - saw her extending her hand, reaching out for him, like she always had. Ever since she came into his life, all outlandish accent and quirky habits, black coat swishing around her ankles.
Yet just when he thought he understood it all, that he understood her, that he knew what she wanted, that he knew what he wanted - by god the list goes on - someone else suddenly had to appear by her side.
Josh Sutherland. A voice shaped from velvet and sandpaper alike, turquoise eyes, black nail polish and blood red guitar. Scout had never known anyone even remotely like him, and the unfamiliarity unsettled� threatened, even.
And that kiss that Josh and Faye shared backstage at that fundraising concert a few weeks ago� what was that? What the HELL was that?
It would've been a gross understatement to say that he was bothered by the intimacy between the two.
" Scout?" She was still sitting on her bed, waiting for him to say something, " Are you okay?"
He swallowed, " Uh�"
" MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE." An unexpected voice - that of the Dean - thundered, causing Scout to jump and Faye to almost fall off the bed. " What the�" She started to say, before catching sight of the PA speaker by the corner of the wall. " Jesus, why does he do that every time?" She complained, " Can't they learn to adjust the volume before they start broadcasting? Is deafness part of the teaching schedule?"
He smiled, motioning for her to be quiet.
Shuffling sounds came from the speaker, before the Dean spoke again in a normal volume, " Sorry about that, folks."
" He said that last time." She remarked sullenly.
" Just reminding everyone that the Rawley Shakespearean production has begun its selection process, and everyone who takes English and/or drama is strongly encouraged to try out." The Dean continued, " Meetings will be held shortly for all those interested, times are posted on the noticeboards outside both academies. Casting and directing priorities will be given to juniors and seniors but all students are welcome."
* * *
Rawley Boys' Academy, Common Room
" That is all. Good day." The transmission ended with a click.
" That sounds interesting," Will commented from the couch, " do you guys want to go and see what it's about?"
Jake and Hamilton looked at each other. " Definitely." Hamilton nodded, " Finn has been running these Shakespearean plays every second year at Rawley. Last time it was 'The Comedy of Errors', and tickets sold really well. The students did a good job too, be worthwhile trying out."
" Yeah, why not?" Jake shrugged, " Who knows, I might've inherited some acting genes from my mom."
" Might have?" Will joked, glancing pointedly at her outfit. She grinned and didn't reply.
" So have they decided on what they're putting on this year?" Will asked Hamilton who, being the Dean's son, tended to know more about these things than your usual Rawley guy.
Hamilton shook his head, wrapping an arm around Jake's shoulders, " It doesn't work like that. The students meet and talk, and decide on a play between themselves. Finn is the 'director'," he made quotation marks with his fingers, " but the play is mostly student-run. Settings, costumes, music, adaptation�" He smiled, " They did a kickass modern version of Macbeth a few years back."
" Cool." Jake smiled, " So even if we don't get to act, we can still get to help out."
" Definitely." Hamilton agreed, " By the time opening night rolls around, the production has usually evolved into a whole-school event. All the design classes pitch in with the sets, the school orchestra usually supports the backing music� it's a lot of fun."
" For those who don't have a real life, it is a great source of entertainment." Ryder Forrest walked in, and hearing that last comment, couldn't help quipping.
" Just because you can't contribute in any way to society, Ryder." Jake glanced at him, " Doesn�t mean we can't."
The blond boy smirked at her, " And what are you two going to be? Resident Rosencrantz and Guildenstern raising hell on behalf of the pansies?"
" Shut up." Hamilton looked a little confused at Ryder's comeback. The other boy laughed, " Something to think about, inn't?"
" You know, Ryder," Will stood up, motioning for the other two to follow, " you never even try to fit in, do you?"
Ryder only smirked again. The trio shook their heads and didn't bother saying more, walking out of the Common Room. As they exited, Josh came walking in from the halls, passing them with a smile and a nod.
He stopped abruptly however, when he caught sight of Ryder lounging on the couch. Without realising it his jaw dropped slightly, those blue-green eyes flying wide open with surprise.
At that moment Ryder looked up, and he too seemed to be struck immobile - at least for a second or two - as he saw Josh in the doorway.
Jake, Hamilton and Will stopped just outside of the door, unsure as to what was going on but seeing enough to know that something was.
Ryder blinked, shaking himself out of the stupefaction that seemed to come over him. Looking away for just a second before fixing his eyes on the dark-haired boy again, the strangest expression appeared on his face. Strange - because it was not an expression that should've belonged to Ryder, whose cool countenance had never let on that he could feel pain, shock, suffering. And it bewildered the hell out of everyone else that happened to be watching.
Josh swallowed with difficulty, taking a small step forward, then stepped back again quickly as though he couldn't bring himself to cross the threshold.
" Ryder." He said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper.
Ryder nodded slowly, " Joshua."
Josh stared at him for a few more moments and suddenly turned away. Pushing past Jake, Hamilton and Will, he strode quickly down the hall before breaking into a run, long black coat billowing out behind him.
The trio in the hallway looked on in wonder and collectively turned back to the Common Room, where Ryder was still just sitting there and for once, seemed to be genuinely lost for words.
* * *
Josh dashed down the stairs of the dormitory, only to bump headfirst into Scout, who was coming up with Faye. " Hey!" Scout yelled in surprise, staggering backwards and narrowly avoided tripping down the stairs.
" Sorry!" Josh exclaimed, steadying himself by gripping the banister tightly. Catching his distraught expression, Faye asked him in alarm, " Are you okay?"
" Can I talk to you?" He asked her, a dazed look in his eyes.
She watched him with concern, " Sure." Turning to Scout, she asked, " Do you mind?"
He paused for a moment, looking from Josh to Faye.
Shrugging and forcing a smile, he told her, " Go ahead."
She grinned at him, " Catch you later."
Scout stood on the stairs, watching the two black-coated figures sweep down the wide staircase and head outside, Josh's hand latched onto Faye's sleeve. Sighing, he started to walk up the stairs. But he had only taken a few steps before stopping and turning to watch them again.
From the moment they met, Faye had always looked after him, cared for him, and he admitted it now that he took it for granted.
It wasn't as though he didn't know that Josh was nice, friendly, interesting. But he bitterly resented the fact that the pretty newcomer now took up all of Faye's time and all of her attentions. What was left for him? What was left of him and her, now that Josh was here?
Who was Josh to her? More important than himself, at any rate.
Lately, he had felt more and more dispensable, and he hated that feeling.
Because he had just realised that he did not want to be dispensable to her. What a god-awful feeling it was, finally starting to realise how much she had come to mean to him, only to find that he had never seemed to mean as much to her.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
Bella was just finishing up a routine check on Faye's car when Charlie appeared from the shop, appraising her progress, " Looking good." He remarked.
" Thanks." She replied, closing the hood. Charlie watched her and she smiled at him, starting to walk back into the house.
He called after her, " Hey Bella, can I� can I talk to you for a sec?"
" Sure, dad." She replied, stopping on the doorstep, " What is it?"
" How was the sleepover last night?" He asked.
She nodded uncertainly, not sure where he was going with the conversation, " �Good."
" Right." He mumbled, and after a pause added, " I was surprised when Jake showed up."
She stared at him, realisation suddenly dawning and she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, knowing how weird it must've been for Charlie to see a 'boy' ascend his little girl's room - and stay there.
He mistook it as a sign of indifference and hastened to add, " I mean, yes I know he's gay, Bella; but he's still a guy, and I didn't realise that you had invited him as well as Faye�"
He was cut short by the sound of a motorcycle gliding into the station, Jake in the driver's seat and Faye sitting behind her. As she hopped off Bella could hear her say to Jake, " Do you know the back of a motorcycle is called a bitch pad?"
" Hey guys!" Bella waved at them, grateful for the distraction from Charlie's attempted 'serious talk' with her. She was afraid that she'd burst out laughing any minute.
" Hi." The other two chorused, taking off their helmets. " Bella," Jake added, " Will said that he's sorry but he's really tied down with some school stuff, so he can't make your study date this afternoon."
Bella shrugged, " That's cool, thanks."
" Hi Mr Banks." Jake grinned at Charlie when she noticed him standing there, scrutinising her with narrowed eyes.
Charlie vaguely muttered something along the lines of 'hi Jake' before walking back into the shop, his expression gruff. Jake stared after him in confusion, then turned back to Bella, " Did I do something wrong?"
" He's holding a grudge against you." Bella replied with a straight face.
The other two looked at her in alarm. " What for?" Faye asked.
" He doesn't like a guy sleeping in my room." Bella told them.
They looked at each other for only a moment before bursting into laughter. " Did you tell him I was gay?" Jake gasped.
" You still shouldn't be sleeping in my room." Bella pointed out, " It's the principle of it."
" Maybe I should tell him�" Jake mused.
" That you're a girl?" Faye asked, making a face, " Come on, where's the fun in that?"
Bella shrugged, " Well, it would certainly make our situation a lot easier."
" But it would be boring," Faye sighed, " besides, enough people know Jake's a girl already. To quote Buffy, it just cheapens it for the rest of us."
The other two laughed. " Anyway," Faye continued, " did I mention that Josh is getting suspicious?"
" He always looks at me strangely." Jake said.
" Yeah." Faye nodded, " I was talking to him the other day and he kept saying he thought you were 'peculiar', but he couldn't figure out why." She shook her head, grinning, " I had to bite my tongue."
" It's good that you did." Jake thanked her, " The less people who know, the better."
Part 3
Rawley Academy, auditorium
Rawley's auditorium was an impressive building, spacious and structured for brilliant sound transmission - just perfect for stage productions, among other things. Rows of seats ran up diagonally from the stage, not unlike a proper theatre. Lush carpeting on the aisles and heavy velvet drapes across the front of the stage completed the professional look.
The first meeting for the production was underway. Finn looked around and was pleased to see that a large number of students had turned up, including most of those who went to his English classes. Clearing his throat, he tried to call the noisy crowd to order, " Guys, can I have your attention please."
It took another few minutes for everyone to pipe down, but once Finn had acquired a tolerable level of silence, he began talking. The few remaining chatters quietened quickly.
" As seniors here will know, the production is run every two years. I have been in charge of it for the past few runs, and although the play itself varies every time, the main organisational structure and student roles remain the same." He began as he sat down on the edge of the stage, facing the students. " The play is almost entirely student-run, and although I am here and overseeing the casting and directing processes, I'm really just a consultant." He grinned, " You are in charge of everything from choosing the play to the staging of it, and there are no boundaries where adaptation is concerned."
An excited murmur broke through the crowd. Finn held up his hand, " Only one hard and fast rule stands, and that's the play must be by Shakespeare."
" Why?" Josh asked immediately.
" A thing called tradition." Finn replied, smiling. " Rawley's 'Shakespearean productions' have always been held in very high regard as far as high-school plays went, and - fortunately, in my opinion - the reputation stuck so far as to become an uncontested custom. So, let's start without any further delay. Ideas? What play do you want to do this year?"
" Romeo and Juliet." Anita Simons, a girl from Faye's English class, immediately answered.
" Very original, Miss Simons." Finn replied, sighing, " Because high schools haven't done this play to death already."
" Well, it was just a suggestion." Anita pouted.
" And that was just my personal reaction." Finn told her cheerfully, " But we'll keep it in mind. Anyone else?"
" King Lear." Will said.
" King Lear?" Finn repeated, " Interesting� it might be hard to stage at Rawley, though� there are a few very powerful roles in there that high school kids - no offense - might not be ready to tackle."
Will nodded, " True."
" Can we please revise female roles, no matter which play we end up choosing?" Faye raised a hand, " I mean, there really aren't a lot of women in Shakespeare's plays. Say we decide to do Romeo and Juliet, then what? Cast a whole bunch of guys but only have four girls in the entire production? And for King Lear, you have over half a dozen of key male characters, but just three females. And Cordelia hardly counts since she's only onstage for like three scenes�"
" Four." Josh corrected her with a smile.
" Show off." She poked her tongue out at him.
" Takes one to know one." He mumbled under his breath and she shot him an 'I heard that' look before turning back to Finn, " My point is, many great roles for guys in Shakespearean plays, not a great deal of choice for girls - it's unfair."
" So we better not do Hamlet." Will mused.
Finn watched them with a smile, " This is the exact sort of thing we need to sort out - remember you have interpretative powers now. If you want, reverse all the gender roles, make all the male roles female and all the female roles male, provided it will work." He looked around the auditorium, " I usually reserve this saying for my crew team but I'll say it here too, it's time to throw convention out the window. You're in charge here, people. Do what you want to do. It's your play."
" Sweet," Josh grinned, " this is going to be fun."
" I don't see why there's even a discussion." Another girl interjected, " Romeo and Juliet, all the way. It is Shakespeare's best work."
Josh glanced at Faye, who frowned. " I have to disagree." She said, " There's no way that play was Shakespeare's best work."
" It's the greatest love story of all time." The girl replied, and behind her, a few heads nodded in agreement.
" But saying it was Shakespeare's best work is an insult to Shakespeare." Faye told her, " It's not even included in the four great tragedies."
" But it's beautiful. And the language was amazing�" Someone else objected.
" Romeo and Juliet was just hastiness and rashness." Josh added, shaking his head, " I mean, it's still an incredibly moving, incredibly beautiful story, but you can't compare it to, say�"
" King Lear." Faye finished for him, taking Will's example. " If you compare them side-by-side, you'll see that King Lear was a much more elevated tragedy because it moves beyond specific cases to include everyone."
Will decided to put in his two cents' worth of Scholarship Boy knowledge, " That play is not only a story about puppy love in an enclosed society, but about the universal themes of justice and humankind's search for meaning in an entire world of uncertainty."
" Whereas Romeo and Juliet are these incredibly young children who fall in love, and in that case, it really was the be-all and end-all." Faye nodded, " I mean, it's a valid storyline, and it's great onstage, but you just can't say that it's Shakespeare's best work - content or language-wise."
" The guy wrote in rhyming couplets most of the time!" Josh pointed out.
Finn was nodding quietly, so were a few other people who had bothered to listen during English. Most of the other kids looked blank. A senior student put up his hand timidly, " Finn, are we supposed to know all this stuff that they said? Cos I have like, no idea what they just talked about."
" We did Othello this year, Mr Spencer." Finn reminded him, sighing. " Not King Lear. And the fact that you can't even remember what Shakespearean play we studied in depth really disturbs me, especially since midterms are rushing up to meet you as we speak."
The students whined collectively. "Finn," Jake groaned, " did you have to mention midterms?"
Finn laughed, " Well, I'm afraid to burst all your bubbles, but they are coming up and you'd do well to start studying, some more than others." He looked meaningfully at the guy who spoke earlier. " That reminds me, the play will take place a couple of weeks before finals start. I won't lie to you, the timing is tight, but that hasn't stopped any of our actors before, and I don't think it will now."
The students murmured to each other, each working out their end of term schedule and wondering if they could fit a production in amongst all the schoolwork and extracurricular activities and sports and social lives and god knows what else.
" Getting back on track," Finn continued, " let's continue with the discussions. I'm enjoying this." Smiling, he sat back, letting the students chatter amongst themselves.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
" You know I can't act." Will said, leaning back into the couch, " But I'd love to be the student director. Finn said it was an important position and I think I can do a good job."
" You can." Bella agreed, " I think you should go for it."
" But seniors get first priority." Will pointed out, " This is their last chance here and Finn would probably choose someone older for the job." He sighed wistfully, " But I'll definitely try again next time."
" Look, Will." Bella told him, " You know you're good at writing and composition, right? You'll be fantastic as a director. It's all about putting on stage something that was in your head. What is the point of you not applying anyway? You might as well try."
" Yeah, you're right." Will decided, " Okay, I'll talk to Finn about it."
" So�" Bella cuddled up next to him, " Have they decided on a play yet? You got so wrapped up talking about all the conversation you never told me what you guys decided on in the end."
" Oh, yeah, we did make a decision." Will replied, shaking his head with an expression that looked like dismay, " A bit of a let-down, for some of us, really."
* * *
Rawley Academy, Common Room
" Romeo and Juliet!" Josh groaned, " I can't believe it, I just can't believe it."
" It is a great play." Jake consoled him, " Believe me, we could've chosen a worse one to do."
" But it's just so stereotypical of high school plays!" Josh collapsed on the couch, " Superficial romantic adolescent angst crap, boring, boring, boring!"
" Free adaptation up for grabs." Hamilton pointed out, enjoying Josh's fit of dramatics, " So join the adaptation committee."
" Oh, believe me, I will." Josh answered, swinging his legs over the back of the couch so that he lounged upside-down, his head dangling off the edge of the couch, " Just so I won't die of boredom onstage."
" I guess you're still trying out, then." Jake stated.
Josh glanced at her, " Of course I am. I live for drama." He corrected himself, " Actually, I live for music; but theatre comes a close second. Plus," he added, " this is the biggest school event of the year, right? Everyone's trying out."
* * *
Faye's room
" I'm not trying out." Ryder laughed, lounging on the windowsill and lightly tapping his cigarette against it, " Are you kidding me?"
" Why the hell not?" Faye asked from her seat on the blow-up chair, " I know you can act."
" And who will I play, exactly?" Ryder asked disdainfully, " The lovesick sod who kills himself for some girl? The moronic best friend? The�" He raised an eyebrow, dripping sarcasm, " �arch-villain?"
" You'd make a great Tybalt." She pointed out, " But I do agree that there's no fun in that. Typecasting to extremities."
" Precisely." He took a long drag on his cigarette.
" Which is why I think you should try out for Father Lawrence." She continued.
He fell off his seat on the windowsill, landing on the floor with a loud 'thump'. " What the hell?" He exclaimed, picking himself up.
She giggled, " I'm serious. Really. Just imagine the shock of everyone at Rawley. You. The Priest." She grinned widely, shaking her head, " Wonderful images come to mind."
" Absolutely not." He staggered to his feet rather ungracefully, rubbing the arm that he had landed on, " I don't plan to try out at all, much less for the bloody priest, of all people."
" What if�" She asked him slyly, " What if there are things to be gained?"
He eyed her suspiciously. " No."
She smiled, " Really?"
" Keep talking." He sat back up on the windowsill, careful to keep his legs on the floor this time.
She reached across to her bedside table and withdrew something from the drawers - a photograph. " Payment." She said simply, holding it up between her index and middle finger, her face lighting up with a devious half-smile, " If you try out and get the part."
His eyes narrowed at the picture, " Is that�"
" It is." She grinned, " My darling brother in a dress."
" Shut up." He growled.
She was unfazed, " The one gambling chip that you're desperately trying to get off me at all costs. Pretty tempting, I'd say."
He flung his cigarette butt out the window in one smooth motion, " You're on."
" Good." She smiled, stuffing the photo back inside her drawer, " Shake on it."
He grumbled as they shook hands, " I can't believe you are making me do this."
" It's your choice." She replied crisply.
" Can I refuse that offer?" He retorted, " As long as you have that thing, I'll never rest easy."
" Don't forget you have to audition first." She reminded him, " You only get the photo if you get the part."
He smirked, " Don't you have any faith in your brother?" Getting up, he headed for the door, " I've got to go. See you later."
" Bye." She waved him out, reaching for a book on her desk.
He paused in the doorway however, an agitated look settling over his features, " Faye�" He said, turning around.
" Yeah?" She looked up.
He opened his mouth, then shut it again. " What is it, Ryder?" She asked.
" When� when did�" He was hesitant, "� Josh come here?"
She stared at him. He gazed back, uncomfortable.
" A couple of weeks ago." She said softly.
His eyes widened, " A couple of weeks?"
She strummed her fingers nervously on the book, " He said that you ran into each other yesterday."
He nodded silently.
She sighed, " The reason why I never mentioned it was because I thought you didn't want to talk about it�"
" I don�t!" He exclaimed vehemently. Surprised by the harshness of his tone, he lowered his voice, staring straight at her and repeating himself, " I don't. But I never knew he came here until yesterday, when he just walked in�" His eyes widened suddenly as realisation sank in, " Wait, you're telling me he's the guy in that band everyone keeps talking about."
" Yeah." She looked away, " I thought you knew."
" I didn't." He admitted, gazing at her imploringly, " Not at all. Why is he here, Faye?"
" He got kicked out of Andover." She told him quietly, " And he can't very well go back home�"
" I KNOW!" He suddenly exploded, " You don't need to remind me!"
She shrank back, biting the inside of her cheek. He sighed, embarrassed by his outburst, " But why is he here, of all places? You know I�"
She waited for him to finish, but the words seemed to catch in his throat, leaving the sentence strangled, hanging in midair. She knew that he� what? The onlooker wouldn't know the answer.
He closed his eyes briefly, " So he's coming to school here, then."
" Yeah." She whispered.
He did not speak, simply turning to go. She gazed after him, her expression a mixture of so many emotions both clear and indistinct that it was impossible to tell what she was thinking, or feeling. " Ryder�" She said softly, getting up from the armchair.
He shook his head, " Don't start on this again, Faye, I don't need it."
" But things are going to be different now that he's here, can't you see?" She retorted, exasperated, " You can't carry on as if he doesn't exist! You can't put everything you've done behind you, you know. You've got to�"
He silenced her with a look, " I'll decide what I will or will not do, Read."
She shut up. It was never a good sign when her brother called her by her real name and she knew him too well to push the issue - after all, he was Ryder Forrest. He knew exactly how to keep his thoughts and emotions in check all the time. Or he would have everyone believe.
Sighing heavily, he turned away, " I'll see you later."
* * *
Finn's classroom
Finn placed piles of papers on desks all around the room, threading his way through the production hopefuls who had come to pick up the audition scripts. " I've ran enough copies off for everyone. There are a few selections you can choose from: A scene between the nurse and Juliet; there's the play fight between Benvolio and Mercutio; the standard scene between Romeo and Juliet, of course." He pointed to the piles of scripts in turn as he spoke, " And there are a few others. A soliloquy from the Prince and another from Friar Lawrence, if you think you'll do the audition better alone."
Faye threw a glance over her shoulder at Ryder, a satisfied smile spreading over her features. He didn't notice the look, as he was deliberately facing away from Josh, who was standing by her side.
" Ms Braden over at the Girls' Academy and I will be in charge of casting. Take as many scripts as you want, but in the end you must choose only one scene to read from. You have a couple of days to prepare before auditions begin." Finn continued, stepping over to another pile of papers on his desk, " These, on the other hand, are applications for the stage committee. If you want to have a say in adaptation, interpretation, settings - whatever, or if you want to apply for the student director job, fill out one of these. The basis of selection for this committee is going to be largely based on how much of your ideas you manage to express in the application, and whether it shows that real thought has gone into them. However, Ms Braden and I will also be judging from what we see of you in day-to-day life. How you deal with ideas and interpretations in your classes, particularly English and drama."
Jake raised a hand, " Does applying for the stage committee affect your chances of being cast as a character in the play?"
Finn shook his head, " Not at all. You can easily try out for the lead and apply for the committee at the same time, it will not result in any sort of bias when you're being cast." Smiling, he added, " Just one thing though, it's probably not a good idea to try out for a main part if you're set on becoming the student director, but that goes without saying. Anything else is fine."
" But a couple of days," Scout frowned, " that's all we get to practice before auditions?"
Finn shrugged, " We're on a tight schedule, Mr Calhoun. But it's fair - everyone else is in the same boat. Raw talent is very hard to hide, even if you don't think you have perfected your audition down to an art."
The next few minutes saw the students milling around, picking up the scripts that they fancied. Jake and Hamilton stood conversing quietly with each other, debating over which script they would take. Ryder didn't hesitate, picking up a copy of one single script and slipping out the door amidst the chaos. Josh, Faye and Scout wandered from table to table, looking at the possible audition choices as well as picking up copies of the stage committee application.
Will remained seated, narrowing his eyes at the application table. Finn caught his expression and walked through the throngs of people, flopping into the seat next to the tall boy, " Not planning to try out?"
Will smiled, " Nah. I'm not much of an actor." Glancing at Finn, he continued timidly, " But I was thinking�"
" You should apply for student director." Finn told him immediately, without waiting for the rest of his sentence.
Will raised an eyebrow, " You think I have a chance, Finn?"
" Absolutely." His mentor nodded, " I know priority must be given to seniors and juniors, since you guys have another shot at the production a couple of years down the road, whereas they don't. But you have to remember that we're looking for talent above all things, so if you have the ability, I suggest you do it. And�" He lowered his voice confidentially, " I think you can handle the job better than anyone else."
Will grinned broadly. " Thanks for the vote of confidence."
" No problem." Finn stood up, " Now go and fill out one of those applications."
" Yes, sir." Will saluted.
Part 4
Rawley Academy
Faye and Josh were sprawled under the shade of the huge oak in the middle of campus, their schoolbags tossed to one side. Each contemplated their own stage committee application, furrowing their brows over the questions on the paper. The afternoon sunlight spilt through the thick foliage overhead, scattering patches of light across the lawn.
" Do you have any ideas on what the play's key elements should be?" Faye read aloud, " Please write down any ideas that you may have regarding setting, costumes and/or interpretation of the play that might differ from the generally accepted Elizabethan view."
Josh chewed on his pen thoughtfully, " I'm thinking Zeffirelli."
" No," Faye shook her head, " I think slightly more contemporary than that. You meant the Zeffirelli film of Romeo and Juliet, right? The one with the really young actors and the big castle?"
" Yeah, or even his version of Hamlet, the settings are quite similar." He replied, studying the question again, " What do you mean, contemporary?"
" Not Luhrmann contemporary," she was quick to point out, " but affected by some sort of modernism, no doubt. Slightly anarchic, maybe. Post-21st Century Gothic."
He grinned, " Interesting."
She scribbled some notes down on a piece of paper before continuing onto the next question, " Any ideas on music and sound effects?" Turning to her friend, she smiled, " Your niche, I believe."
He grinned, " Well, it has to fit in with the setting first of all, but I like your idea. Lots of synth, electronica, I don't know. Dark, swirling, a little bit spooky�" He thought for a while, " But I'd like to try a few string instruments in there as well. Try violin, viola� cello is a maybe. It could be a mix of really interesting classical and electronic instruments. We can have a lot of fun with this."
" I'll leave that up to you." She laughed, " I don't know about what you just described, but make it onto the committee and we'll try to make it happen."
" Hey!" Scout joined them, sitting down next to Faye, " Working on your applications?"
" Yeah." She smiled at him, " What about you?"
" Hi, Scout." Josh grinned up at the other boy. Scout nodded curtly at him before turning back to Faye, " I don't know if I want to be on the committee. I'll definitely audition for a part, but all that extra responsibility�" He shrugged, " I might pass on that. Acting is enough for me. What about you?"
" We were just talking music." Faye told him, " Josh has some interesting ideas." Turning back to the tiny andrognye, she exclaimed, " Massive Attack."
He looked up, " What?"
" Great influence. Very suitable." She told him, " Claustrophobic and haunting, maybe a couple of ethereal female vocals here and there, like�"
" Liz Fraser." He finished for her, naming the incomparable quest vocalist for Massive Attack, the two of them sharing a knowing smile.
Scout looked from one to the other, his brows furrowed.
" A lot of emphasis on bass drums, sound enhancement and a bit of distortion." Josh continued, grinning as he envisioned it, " Cool."
" And Amnesia can play!" She added, getting excited, " Maybe you won't be able to sing if you're in the production, but they can do some wicked background music, right? You guys can get into the right sort of mindset� what are your influences?"
" Not so much Massive Attack than� " Josh examined his nails, " Radiohead� or Placebo, I guess. Intelligent pansexual alternative rock. I so relate to everything they do, and their music is brilliant. I live for the guitars, and the vocals are gorgeous to the point that I might cry every time I hear it, the music is so beautiful it could break you into pieces."
She raised an eyebrow, " And this obsession with them has nothing to do with the fact that you obviously over-identify with Brian Molko?"
He looked up, grinning, " Touch�."
" Uh�" Scout was utterly lost, " Who?"
" Never mind." Josh shared another smile with Faye, which Scout found unspeakably infuriating. They seemed to communicate on a level that he and she never could. " So�" The other boy asked him, " What part are you after?"
" The lead." Scout promptly answered, " I'm reading from the scene where Romeo and Juliet first meet."
" You're reading for Romeo or Juliet?" Faye asked.
He shot her a weird look, " Funny�"
She grinned, " I'm only asking what I asked Josh. He's doing the same scene, you know."
Scout glanced at the other boy, " You are?"
Josh nodded, " After a lot of deliberation I decided to read for Romeo." He winked, " But Juliet was tempting� very tempting."
Faye laughed, " Of course. They'd probably allow gender reversals too, if you make it onto the adaptation committee. Romeo would either have to be a girl, or gay."
" Lots of fun all around." Josh grinned, " But I gave it a miss this time."
" So we're auditioning with the same scene?" Scout asked Josh, narrowing his eyes again.
Josh shrugged, " Looks like it." Turning back to Faye, he asked, " I know you were having trouble deciding on what to audition for. Have you made a decision yet?"
She looked from him to Scout, then back again, a smile stealing over her face, " Yeah� I have."
Josh caught on immediately. He was half amused, half uneasy, " You are evil, Faye Archer." He told her.
" I know." She smirked.
Scout glanced at her, beginning to understand what she had implied.
She smiled at him. He did not smile back.
* * *
*The following is a montage of scenes for the next couple of days as everyone gets ready for the auditions, background music 'Here it Comes' by Doves*
Jake and Hamilton sat together on Hamilton's bed, leafing through the scripts. He had his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder, their fingers interlinked.
--'This is a call, a call to all / It goes out to those who've been bad / And I should know, because I've been / Maybe once a week on Mondays�'
Scout stood alone in his room, holding a script in one hand and watching himself in the mirror as he acted out the scene that he was to audition for.
--'You should've seen what I've seen / She doubles up and comes back Sundays / And she will come into your heart / It goes on and on and on�'
Will toyed with his pencil, sitting on the couch in the Common Room and pouring over the committee application.
--'Here it comes / Here comes my days in the sun / Here it comes / Here comes my time in the sun�'
Ryder lay back on his bed, reading over his script and looking none too happy about it.
--'This is the day, this is the time / To stare at the skies in wonder / We live a lie you'll never find / Yeah never in a month of Sundays�'
Faye and her roommate sat on the floor of their room, a script in each of their laps and the two of them taking turns reading out loud.
--'You should've seen what I've seen / He doubles up and comes back Mondays / And he will come into your heart / It goes on and on and on�'
Josh was kneeling in the deserted music room, changing the strings on one of his guitars. His audition script lay abandoned on a chair nearby.
--'Here it comes / Here comes my days in the sun / Here it comes / Here comes my time in the sun�'
Jake wheeled her bike into Bella's gas station, saying hi to Bella and Will, who were sitting outside in the sunshine, going over Will's application one more time.
--'If you don't know how it feels� here it comes / Here comes my time in the sun�'
With a disdainful sigh, Ryder let his script flutter down to the floor. Instead he resorted to staring blankly up at the ceiling, wearing an unreadable expression.
--'Here it comes / Here comes my days in the sun / Here it comes / Another time in the sun�'
Faye and Josh caught Finn in the corridor and hurried to give him their committee applications. Finn looked down at the pages of writing that they had produced between them, and couldn't help but smile.
--'If you don't know how it feels� here it comes / Here comes my time in the sun�'
Hamilton sat at his desk, looking back and forth between a script and the committee application. Jake walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her chin on his shoulder. He half-turned to smile at her, and she placed a small kiss on his cheek.
--'Here it comes / Here comes my days in the sun / Here it comes / Another time in the sun�'
Scout strode across campus, catching in his peripheral vision Josh and Faye standing by the lake, scripts in hand and evidently in the middle of rehearsing with each other. With a dejected sigh he walked on, not bothering to acknowledge them - they didn't see him walk by, at any rate.
--'If you don't know how it feels� here it comes / Here comes my time in the sun�'
* * *
Rawley Academy, auditorium
Auditions started at 5pm, giving the actors sufficient time to recover from the day's lessons and refocus their energies on acting. Night had fallen, but the auditions were barely halfway through.
Hamilton was onstage with Malcolm - fellow member of REACH, Rawley's gay society - and another hopeful, reading from their scripts and their scene nearly completed.
"� This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs," Hamilton continued to read, growing increasingly passionate, " that presses them and learns them first to bear, making them women of good carriage: This is she--"
Hamilton turned to him, sighing, " True, I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy�" He paused for a moment, as though thinking, " Which is as thin of substance as the air and more inconstant than the wind, who woos even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being anger'd, puffs away from thence, turning his face to the dew-dropping south."
The third guy onstage reminded them, " This wind, you talk of, blows us from ourselves; Supper is done, and we shall come too late."
"I fear, too early: for my mind misgives some consequence yet hanging in the stars shall bitterly begin his fearful date with this night's revels�" Malcolm contemplated, raising his eyes to the ceiling. " And expire the term of a despised life closed in my breast by some vile forfeit of untimely death."
The other two looked at him with concern.
He set his jaw, " But He, that hath the steerage of my course, direct my sail! On, lusty gentlemen."
" Strike, drum." The third guy stated, and the three of them walked offstage. Coming back almost immediately from the wings where they exited, they looked expectantly at Finn and Ms Braden, who sat in the front row of the darkened auditorium, holding clipboards. Behind them, the auditorium was half full, students coming and going for auditions as well as those who had come to watch, or had stayed after their own audition to check out the competition.
" Thank you, gentlemen." Finn told them, scribbling a few notes down on his clipboard, " Next�" He consulted Ms Braden, and she called out, " Sutherland and Archer; Act One, scene five, Romeo and Juliet respectively."
" Good luck." Hamilton smiled at Josh and Faye, making their way to the stage. The two of them grinned back, walking up the steps into the bright stage lights that provided a strong contrast to the rest of the auditorium, everyone wrapped in shadows.
Faye had her hair gathered up in a messy topknot, secured in place with a claret glass chopstick. Josh was wearing his combat boots again, as well as carefully applied eyeliner that made him look even prettier than usual. They were both without their signature long coats but still wearing all-black ensembles that made them look pale and haunted, the two of them making a striking pair under the lights that flooded down on them.
Sitting down in the dark, Hamilton noticed Scout off to one side, alone in an aisle seat. He was staring intently at the couple onstage, who consulted each other, getting ready to perform." Hey Scout!" He hissed, " That was a good audition you did earlier."
Scout turned, " Thanks. You guys were great, too."
" I think Josh is reading your part." Hamilton told him.
Scout scowled, " He is. And I can't believe he got Faye to read with him."
" They pulled the names out of a hat, man, you saw that." Hamilton shrugged, " It's all luck of the draw. It could've just as easily been you and Faye reading up there."
Scout didn't answer, turning back to watch the stage.
" Ready?" Finn asked." Both Josh and Faye nodded, and he shushed the people behind him, " Okay, let's begin."
Josh walked up to Faye, his gaze intent. " If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this�" Reaching over, he took her hand tentatively, " My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch�" Gently brushing his lips across the back of her hand, he kept his eyes on her, fixated, mesmerized by her violet gaze, "� with a tender kiss."
Faye smiled, and it was clear to anyone who watched that she withdrew her hand from his with effort, forcing reason to rule over heart - for the time being. " Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much," she said to him demurely, but a tinge of a smile could not help but peek through this ladylike front, " �which mannerly devotion shows in this."
He watched her intently as she shyly presented her palm to him, " For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm�" She paused slightly as he pressed his own palm to hers, the chemistry between them unmistakable. Seeming to forget what she was going to say for a second, she blushed, "� is holy palmers' kiss."
Josh smiled, taking a step toward her, their palms together and fingers touching at the very tips, " Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"
Faye turned away from him, still blushing furiously, " Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."
Josh followed her, " O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;" Looking slightly devious, he placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around, " They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."
Faye smiled faintly, " Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."
" Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." Josh whispered, taking her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers.
There was utter silence in the auditorium as everyone watched, stunned by the sheer force of what the two of them have created, so beautiful and electrifying. The kiss was not expected in the auditions, most of the hopefuls only mimicking a brief interlude with their audition partner, but Josh and Faye did not� did not do that.
Josh drew back from the kiss after what seemed a lifetime, during which everyone in the auditorium found themselves holding their breath, not daring to move a muscle for fear that they could upset the shimmering dynamics that charged up the atmosphere in the room.
He smiled at her, turquoise eyes drinking her in, " Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."
She smiled back equally dreamily, " Then have my lips the sin that they have took."
" Sin from thy lips?" Laughing softly, he replied, " O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."
And again he kissed her, and again the room was silent as everyone watched, knowing that it wasn�t Josh and Faye up there, but Romeo and Juliet. Truly.
Faye pulled back slightly, running a hand across the nape of his neck, " You kiss by the book."
Josh watched her with so much tenderness in his smile. She smiled back equally tenderly, as though the two of them were lost in the throes of not only the concept of love but love itself, faultless, timeless, all-encompassing.
Then they both froze.
Faye raised her eyebrows at Josh, and he looked back with wide eyes. Turning slowly, they faced the audience, who stared back, still not daring to breathe.
" Uh�" Faye spoke up, feeling a little creeped out by the silence.
" That's, um, the end of the audition script." Josh said meekly, looking at Finn in confusion.
Finn blinked, then blinked again. " Oh!" He suddenly exclaimed as he snapped back to his senses, " Right, right, the end of the audition, thank you Miss Archer, Mr Sutherland."
Josh and Faye glanced at each other, walking off the stage. Unexpectedly, applause rang out in a corner of the auditorium, and they looked up in surprise. It was unclear as to who started the applause, because soon after, everyone was clapping. It was almost release, after the breathtaking performance, to have something to do, to stand and clap and some even cheered, all the congratulations flying at Josh and Faye, even those who auditioned for the same parts as them.
They looked around and finally at each other, laughing with confused delight. However, Faye did not fail to notice that Scout got up from his seat, and amidst the applause, slipped quietly out the back door.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
" Will? Why are you still in the dorms? I thought we're studying together tonight." Bella said into the receiver, checking her watch, " You're half an hour late!"
" Oops." Will's sheepish voice crackled across the phone lines, " I'm so sorry, I forgot in this big rush to get my application ready for Finn� it's due today. Can we please do it another night? I really need to get this done."
" I've made other plans." Bella told him, frowning, " Tonight was the only time when both of us are free, remember?"
" I'm really sorry, Bella." He was contrite, " I totally, totally forgot. It's just that the production is a big deal for me, and I guess I got distracted�"
" It's okay." She sighed, " We'll do this another time."
" See you tomorrow?" He asked.
She nodded even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see her over the phone, " Yeah."
Hanging up, she sighed again. Catching sight of Jake riding past the gas station, she hurried outside, " Hey!" She called.
Jake heard her calling and took a tight curve on the road, swerving into the station, " Hi, Bella," she said breathlessly.
" Where are you going?" Bella asked, " Do you want to like� hang out?"
" I'm sorry, but I can't." Jake told her, smiling apologetically, " I'm already late for the auditions for the production� I'm really sorry, but I have to go, okay?" She started out of the station again, " Sorry! We'll catch up later."
Bella watched the bike sail down Main Street, heading toward Rawley. " Sure." She murmured," Later."
* * *
Rawley Academy
Scout walked out of the auditorium, shutting the door behind him and abruptly bringing to an end the sound of applause still ringing inside. He didn't notice how tightly his fists were clenched until he looked down and saw that his fingernails had bitten deep into his palms, leaving behind little half-moon shapes that were red and painful to the touch.
Walking wherever his feet took him, he found himself on the docks. The spring night was cool, enough to raise goosebumps on his bare arm when a slight breeze brushed past. Looking up, he could see the new moon, just a sliver of pale silver on the horizon.
" Scout!" A voice called behind him, and he turned to see Faye running up the docks, her cheeks flushed. She was grinning broadly, " Hey!"
" Hi." He replied a little sullenly.
She fought the urge to jump up and down, psyched from the audition and all the attention that she had received, " Well?"
He pretended not to understand, " Well what?"
She laughed, " The audition, Gay Boy, my audition. What did you think?"
" Oh, yeah." Turning away from her, he muttered, " You were good."
She watched him quizzically, " What's up?"
" Nothing." He murmured, looking into the distance. The lake's waters looked dark and murky in the dim light.
" Nothing?" She repeated, confused.
" Yeah." He replied, brushing past her and starting to walk back to the dorms. She grabbed him by the arm, " What's wrong, Scout?"
" I told you, nothing's wrong!" He exploded, " Look, I said you were good, okay? What else do you want me to say?"
She shrank back, stung, " I wasn't fishing for compliments."
" So what's the problem?" He retorted.
" You're acting really weird!" She exclaimed.
He shook his head, " No, I'm not, and if you'll excuse me�" He sidestepped, trying to get past her again.
" No, I won't." She told him, her hand clutching his sleeve, " What is your problem, Scout?"
He turned on her, eyes blazing, " Why do you care what the hell my problem is?"
" Of course I care!" She stared at him, disbelieving, " Why�"
" You don't care." He told her, making her recoil, " You've never cared! Now that your best friend Josh Sutherland is here with his band and his family problems and his prettiness and his sexuality and all his other dilemmas that are just begging to be solved by you and you're happily obliging, why the hell would you still bother with me? Just leave me alone!"
She answered him with a hard slap across the face and he staggered backwards, holding his hand to his cheek.
White-faced, she told him, " Don't you ever, ever speak of Josh that way."
He glared at her.
" I can't believe you'd blame Josh for whatever identity crisis or self esteem problem it is that you're going through!" She was furious, " He didn't choose to be bi or androgynous or have a screwed-up family or anything like that and you have no right to say�"
" That's not what I meant." He interrupted her.
" So what the hell did you mean?" She yelled.
He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say. She glared at him and he gave up, " Why does it matter?" He muttered dejectedly, " Look at you! You jump to his defense faster than anything! I don't know who Josh is to you, but you sure as hell aren't just best friends!"
She stared at him, incredulous
" He's always going to be your number one priority, and I know I can't compete with him." He told her bitterly, " I don't know what it is that you two have, but you know each other better than you know yourselves. You share billions of private memories and it feels like you're never yourself anymore. Everything's always 'you and Josh', how good you guys look together, how right you are for each other. What the hell am I? Who am I to you?"
" You�" She started to say, but he didn't let her speak. " I'm just your psychology patient, aren't I?" He shouted at her, " Something to spend all those boring hours on until something better came along, some convenient basket case who needed his life to be straightened out and for you to experiment your healing skills on, I'm just�"
" You don't know me at all." She interrupted him softly.
He paused. That one sentence she uttered had stopped him dead in his tracks. He suddenly forgot what he was going to say, faced with her wide, sad eyes.
She looked back at him, her face pale under the moonlight.
" If you think I see you as nothing more than a psych patient, then I don't know why I ever bothered." She told him, " Ever. With you, with any of this."
He gazed at her, how she was shaking slightly in the night air. He was so surprised when he saw that the rims of her eyes were turning red, and suddenly felt ashamed of what he just said. " Faye�" He began, wanting to reach out and touch her.
But she didn't let him talk, this time. " Do you think I enjoy listening to you all the time?" She asked him, blinking, " Do you really think I like hearing how much you are not getting over Bella Banks, day after day after day after bloody day?" She looked down for a moment, shutting her eyes, trying to stop the tears, " Do you think I drag you places and force you to open up to yourself just to satisfy my own therapeutic streak?"
He could not think of anything to say, watching transfixed as she looked up again, a tear carving its glistening path down her cheek.
" I'm just a girl, Scout. I'm just a girl." She whispered, " I have feelings too, you know. Have you ever stopped to think about why I've been sticking by you all this time, trying so hard to get you out of all your misery and over every bit of depression that you've ever found yourself in? Do you think I only see you as an experiment?"
He swallowed, his shame clinging to him like the darkness that surrounded them.
" Don't you think I'd like to be listened to and have someone to run to when I have problems?" She asked, dragging the back of her hand across her cheek, not wanting him to see that she had started crying. She looked away, avoiding his gaze, " Don't you know that sometimes I just want to have that perfect, romantic moment, to be happy and dance under the stars with some boy with Liz Fraser's voice singing in the background and do you ever wonder why I don't?" She suddenly turned her gaze back on him, her lips trembling, " You know I can get all of that so easily, don't you? So why don't I?"
He didn't know what to say. The night had suddenly turned cold.
" Why don't I?" Gazing at him imploringly, she repeated. " Instead I stand with you and suffer through all those hours trying to make you see that there is something else beyond�" She paused, looking away again, dabbing quickly at the corners of her eyes, trying futilely to stop the tears, " And you know what? I actually believed I had done it, when you made up with Will, I honestly thought we could finally move on from all this, but I was so wrong."
He found that he had trouble breathing. Her anguished gaze was burning into him, and not ever had he felt more ashamed for what he had done, whatever it was, to be able to break her this way.
" You never knew me." She shook her head, starting to walk away from him, " You never understood me."
He wanted to follow her, to say something� anything. But he was too stunned by what he had caused. Faye Archer never cried. Never, never, never. What had he done?
She suddenly turned back to him, tears running down her cheeks and not bothering to hide it anymore, " And I can't� I can't believe you made me cry, for god's sake!" Trying to laugh wryly at her own predicament, she only succeeded in a muffled sob, " And if you didn't even understand what I just said, then I have nothing left to say to you."
His breath caught in his throat.
" Goodbye, Scout." She told him, striding quickly away from him, back up to shore.
He wanted to call out her name but he was left numb on the docks, surrounded by the waters that shimmered feebly under the light of the stars and the moon, while she fled into the night.
Part 5
Rawley Academy
People crowded around the noticeboard in front of the school, craning their necks to catch a glimpse of the cast list that had been pinned up earlier in the day.
Ryder was waiting for Faye as she fought her way out of the crowd, a smile on her face. " Well?" He asked her, knowing full well what the outcome was going to be.
She grinned, " You're Father Lawrence."
He shrugged, unsurprised. Holding out a hand, he demanded, " The photograph, now."
She slapped his hand away, " Not likely. I need to make sure you actually do the production part of the deal." Grinning at the crestfallen expression on his face, she told him, " You will get the photo, I promise. After the production."
He sighed, the two of them starting to walk away. " You're Juliet, of course." He said, statement not question.
" Of course." She replied airily.
" And�" He glanced at her, " Josh is Romeo."
She looked at him, and he turned his eyes away. Sighing, she nodded, " Yeah, he is."
He didn't reply.
She was anyway distracted as she looked up and saw Scout walking down the path, heading toward the noticeboard. Scout turned his head as he passed her, but she avoided his gaze, striding ahead.
Sighing, he continued to make his way toward the noticeboard, resisting the urge to look back over his shoulder.
Once there, he fought the crowd, ducking high and low, looking for his name on the list. Josh and Faye were of course cast as Romeo and Juliet; but it came as a surprise to see that Jake and Hamilton were cast as Benvolio and Mercutio respectively, large parts to be given to 10th grade students. Under the 'stage committee' list, he was glad to see that Will was indeed cast as student director. Still, he had a bit of trouble finding his own name.
When he finally found it, his eyes widened.
For the list clearly read, ' Lord Capulet: Scout Calhoun.'
He backed out of the crowd, confusion written all over his face as he contemplated the damned irony of it all. " I'm her father?"
* * *
Finn's classroom
As Jake, Hamilton and Josh walked through the doorway for their weekly meeting of REACH, thunderous applause burst out. They looked around, smiling.
" Good going, guys!" Lance - one of the club leaders - whooped, quick to congratulate them, " You guys rock!"
" Three of the five major male roles are taken by our guys," Jesse, the other club leader, informed them, " that's so awesome! We're so proud of you."
Everyone else was chattering excitedly, everyone wanting to take their turn congratulating the three, while Jake, Hamilton and Josh answered questions to the best of their abilities, basking in the attention.
" Your audition was amazing." Malcolm said to Josh, awed, " it was truly amazing. I totally forgot to breathe, man. You and Faye really deserved the parts."
Josh smiled at him, " Thank you."
" Hey!" Someone else piped up, " Don't forget all three of you made it onto the stage committee as well."
A few people laughed appreciatively, looking at the three of them with more than a little interest. Josh looked at Hamilton, who looked at Jake. " What�?" The three of them said in unison, looking around.
Jesse was looking distinctly sly, " Adaptative powers, guys, think about it."
Josh caught on quickly, but laughed, " Hey, I have to fall in love with the girl, okay? No dice for me."
" We're not looking at you, Josh." Lance informed him, all eyes turning on Jake and Hamilton.
They stared back blankly.
" Benvolio and Mercutio, man." Malcolm prompted, " A couple of friends who always hung out together."
" They have like, no romantic interests in the play." Someone else offered.
" They do, however, have this kickass playfight scene in the middle of everything." Jesse supplied deviously, " Which can be taken in so many different ways, if you thought about it hard enough."
Jake groaned, raising her eyes to the ceiling, " Oh my god, are you serious?"
" This is a great opportunity for REACH to get involved with school activities, Jake." Lance reminded her, " Can you get better publicity anywhere? I know Finn wouldn't object to it."
Josh was starting to laugh hysterically, " This is great, this is fucking excellent. You have to do it, you have to."
Everyone else in the room was laughing, except for Hamilton, who was still looking around in a state of total confusion, " Could someone please explain to me what's going on? I don't get it."
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
" Making an idiot out of yourself, finally getting above all of it without realising or even thanking the person who had helped you do it, then making an even bigger idiot out of yourself all over again." Scout said flatly, burying his head in his hands.
Bella glanced over at him, smiling sympathetically, " I don't know, in your case, like half a year?"
He sighed heavily, " Am I really that transparent?"
" It is pretty easy to see what's going on." She admitted.
" I had no idea." He confessed, " She totally hates me now, and I don't blame her. I acted like the biggest ass on this side of the planet."
" She doesn't hate you, Scout, that's the point." She said.
" And I can't believe how much I screwed it up!" He wailed, " I can't believe I actually went up to her and said I was her psychology patient! I didn't mean it, I swear. It just�"
" �Came out." She finished for him, " Believe me, I know what it feels like."
" What am I going to do?" He asked her, " I don't want to totally screw this up with her, I don't."
" I know you don't." She told him.
" Who's Liz Fraser?" He suddenly asked.
She glanced at him quizzically, " Singer for the Cocteau Twins, before they split up. Why?"
He contemplated for a moment before shaking his head slightly, " Nothing." Looking sideways at her, he tried to smile, " Enough wallowing in my self-pity. What about you? How's Will?"
" Okay, so we get away from wallowing in your self-pity to wallowing in mine." She told him with a smile, accompanied by a sigh, " He's busy."
He glanced at her sympathetically, " Too busy?"
She shrugged, " It's all the stuff to do with the production. I mean, " she hastened to add, " of course I'm happy for him that he got the director job. He wanted it so much, you know? But�" She trailed off.
He smiled with understanding, " When you're bogged down with the minor details of life you tend to forget about the important stuff, huh?"
" Something like that." She agreed softly.
They didn't talk for a while, looking at each other with wry grins.
" God, we're so pathetic." He sighed.
" Tell me about it." She answered, shaking her head.
* * *
Rawley Academy
Faye and Josh walked along the lake, deep in conversation. To anyone who didn't know them intimately, they seemed the perfect couple.
But they knew better.
" I'm not sure how much I'm prepared to give." Faye confessed, " I feel like I've been sucked dry lately, just trying� always trying to get him to move past everything."
Josh nodded sympathetically.
" And I don't know how much of this I can keep up." She confided, " He's just such a dick sometimes!"
" You did lead him on a bit." He pointed out objectively.
She sighed, " I know, and I'm sorry for that. Both to you and to him� I just didn't know what else to do."
He contemplated her, " Can I ask you a question?"
" Shoot." She answered.
" Why do you�" He paused, wondering how he should phrase the question, " Why do you insist on making everything so complicated for yourself? Couldn't you have just let him know? He likes you and you like him, it's crystal clear. I just don't understand why you feel the need to provoke him this way."
She bit her lip but did not answer.
He stopped walking and looked at her intently, " Why, Faye?"
She looked away, " Sometimes I scare myself when I realise how much I like him."
" Oh." He seemed to suddenly remember something, " I get it."
She nodded, " Good."
" But you can't let what happened in the past stop you from moving forward," he told her, " I know what happened with you and�"
" Don't say it." She warned him with a dangerous flash in her violet eyes.
He took it in his stride, skipping over a part of his sentence as though it was perfectly natural, " � was painful, to say the least, but you can't let that one relationship dictate how you're going to live the rest of your life, you know."
" That's why I've been doing this!" She told him, " I needed to reassure myself that Scout is� that he is�" She trailed off.
He smirked, " Totally and utterly in love with you?"
She shot him a withering look, " No. I was going to say 'ready for this'. I can't be the only grown-up in this relationship - if it ever becomes one, that is - I can't be the one who perpetually looks after the two of us, and he needs to understand that."
Josh thought it bad taste to laugh out loud but found that he couldn't stop himself, " So he obviously failed the test, then?"
She sighed, " Miserably."
He shook his head at her, " Maybe he just needs to be told."
" That's what I'd like to think." She told him, " But god knows if that's going to work. I did tell him�"
" Oh god." He shrank back in mock horror, " You told him things? Faye, I know you. When you have something on your mind you don't tell people, you bite their heads off."
She blushed, " I know."
" So what did you say?" He asked.
She sighed quietly, " That sometimes� sometimes, I just want to throw this analytical, objective and carefully-balanced me out the window. And� just sometimes, I want that whole romantic deal, that�"
" Dancing under the stars to Liz Fraser." He finished for her, smiling, " Our childhood ideal, I remember."
" I remember when we first came up with the scenario," She recalled, smiling, " it seemed so magical."
" It still is." He answered.
She looked at him imploringly, " Have you ever done it? The dancing?"
His eyes took on a faraway look, " Once."
" How was it?" She asked.
He smiled, glancing at her, " Like a dream."
She grinned, looking away. A moment later she turned around again, interested, " Was it with a girl or a guy?"
" Ah." He laughed, " That, my friend, would be telling."
Part 6
Rawley Academy
Josh found his beat-up car in the student parking lot, shoving a guitar case into the front seat. Walking over to the sidewalk, he hauled a large amplifier up with considerable effort, stumbling over to cram it into the car. It took a while, but he managed to wedge it in. The band had a gig in Boston that night, and he was accustomed to the awkward transportation problems that those scenarios often gave rise to.
Getting into the driver's seat, he cursed under his breath when the ignition failed to function.
The car was a complete rust bucket, literally falling to pieces. However, it was one of the only things in his life that he managed to buy without using his parents' money, and that made him damn proud.
Still, one of these days, he thought, trying the engine again and the car finally sputtering to life, he really wouldn't mind a mode of transport that was slightly more dependable than this.
Backing out of the parking lot, he spotted Scout walking along the footpath. Pulling over again, he rolled the window down and yelled, " Scout! Hey!"
The other boy turned, frowning when he saw that it was Josh in the car, " Hey."
" Look," Josh sighed, " I know we haven't exactly started off on the right foot here�"
" We're fine." Scout replied instantly, guarded.
Josh shrugged, letting the statement slide, " I just wanted to tell you� don't screw with her head."
" Me?" Scout exclaimed, " Are you kidding? She's the one who's screwing with my head!"
" You don't know her, Scout." Josh told him, " And I don't even know if you understand how she operates�"
" I don't think it's any of your business." Scout replied coldly.
" She's my best friend." Josh fixed his gaze on him, " She's the one friend who's always stuck by me in my entire screwed-up existence and I love her more than anything else in the whole damn world."
" I don't need to hear this." Scout retorted, walking away.
Josh scowled and kept talking, raising his voice, " I know she doesn't show it and I don't think you're even fully aware of this, but she likes you. A lot. Enough to be hurt by you."
Scout stopped walking, turning back and looking at him evenly.
" So I'm just telling you, be careful with her, okay?" Josh asked, " If anything happens to Faye because of you, I�" He trailed off.
" What do you mean?" Scout asked slowly.
Josh sighed, exasperated, " You think she cares this much about just anyone at all? Every day for her is a struggle to get you through your life, and it's eating her up. You don't even realise that."
Scout stared at him.
Josh kept talking, " Don't you think she deserves some attention, some love? She's human, Scout. I know she doesn't seem like that at times, she's brash and blunt and philosophical and sometimes so damn impartial, but she's still just a girl. A girl who'd like to, just once in a great while, get to dance with a boy under the stars to�"
" Liz Fraser." Scout finished for him, impatient, " God, what is it with the two of you and that? Why are you so obsessed by that?"
Josh looked at him, " Maybe you should try and find out."
Scout glanced away, chewing on his lower lip.
Josh paused, inhaling softly, " Think about it, okay?"
Scout nodded numbly as Josh's car pulled away from the curb, heading out of the Academy's gates.
* * *
Jake and Hamilton's room
" Finn's given it the okay." Hamilton walked into the room, smiling at Jake, who was sitting cross-legged on her bed, pouring over her script.
She looked up, grinning, " Yay."
He blinked, " I can't believe it. First I'm in a gay society, and now I'm interpreting a Shakespearean character as gay on behalf of that gay society, just how screwed is that?"
She smiled, " Not as screwed as my life story."
He kissed the top of her head, coming to sit by her, " How are you doing?"
She shrugged, " There's a hell of a lot of lines to learn, you know. You should really start on them."
" No problem." He told her, " We can practice tonight." Taking her by the hands, he pulled her up and gathered her into an embrace, " Now that we're playing our characters gay�" He grinned, " It'd only make sense if life imitates art."
She smiled, kissing him softly. He kissed her back, running his hands through her short hair.
* * *
Will and Scout's room
" Liz Fraser?" Will repeated, " Actually, I think I have something�" Reaching over to his CD rack, he pulled out an album.
Scout took it, " You own the Cruel Intentions soundtrack?" He asked, a bit incredulous, " That is such a chick flick."
Will smiled with embarrassment, " It's Bella's."
" That's not an excuse." Scout scanned the song list on the back of the CD. Looking up, he asked, " Sarah Michelle Gellar or Reese Witherspoon?"
" Sarah." Will answered promptly, " I'm still a closet Buffy fan, remember?"
" That's right." Scout answered, laughing. Brandishing the CD and letting himself out the door, he grinned, " Thanks, man."
" What are you planning to do, exactly?" Will asked.
Scout poked his head back in, " Something I should've done a long time ago."
" All right." Will laughed as the door closed behind Scout. A second later it opened, Scout poking his head in again, " Will."
" Yeah?" Will looked up.
" You should go see Bella some time." Scout advised him, " I know you have your hands full with the production, but�"
Will grinned at him, " I will, don't worry. Thanks."
Scout smiled, disappearing behind the door once more.
* * *
Faye's room
" There's a message for you." Faye's roommate informed her as she walked through the door, giving her a piece of paper, " It's from Scout."
Faye frowned slightly, taking the note from her hands, " Thanks." Unfolding the note, she began to read, walking absently over to the window, where darkness had fallen.
* * *
Bella's Gas Station
The soft glow of a desk lamp issued from the gas station's office. Bella was sitting at the desk, working on her homework. Will watched through the glass windows without her noticing, looking at how the light made her hair all golden and her eyes glimmer.
Smiling to himself, he knocked on the door and she looked up.
" Hey." He said through the glass, grinning, " Going to let your boyfriend in?"
She chuckled, getting up to open the door, " Hello, stranger."
" Miss me?" He asked her, walking in and wrapping his arms around her waist.
" Yeah." She admitted.
" I'm here now." He told her, pressing his lips gently to her forehead.
* * *
The rooftop of the boys' dorms
Scout glanced around him. One lone candle burned on the balcony ledge, where he had carefully placed it, but it hardly offered any light. The satellite dishes around him were merely shadowy silhouettes in the darkness.
His gaze travelled along the extension cords that he had dragged all the way from inside the building, and set his CD player down next to the candle, slipping a disc inside.
He nearly knocked the CD player over the balcony when a voice suddenly issued behind him, " What are you doing?"
He swirled around, and Faye was standing there, watching him with a smile.
She was wearing the cashmere sweater that he gave her for Christmas, and yes, it did match her eyes.
" I got your note." She told him, looking at the set-up with interest, " What is all this?"
He shrugged, suddenly self-conscious, " Well, you know, stuff to tell you� things to say."
She raised an eyebrow, " That needs background music and special lighting?"
He smiled, " No, that's for something else."
" Something else?" She repeated.
He nodded, " Um� listen, I know I've been acting like a perpetual dumbass for the past half year or so�"
She stared at him.
" And I finally realise it now." He smiled, " How you've been there to support me through all the times when I feel myself slipping, you dragged me places and yelled and me and even slapped me across the face a couple of times, just to get me back on track. I appreciate that, I really do."
She grinned, " I'm sorry about all the slapping, by the way."
He smiled, " But I never realised how much you actually do for me. Just by being there�" He looked at her intently, " Being you."
She blinked, " This is starting to sound mushy."
" Faye!" He exclaimed, half exasperated.
" What? It is!" She answered innocently, then smiled, " But continue anyway and we'll see where it goes."
He laughed softly, " Okay." Pausing for a moment, he looked blank, " Damn, you threw me off. I can't remember my speech now."
She had to laugh, " You had a speech planned?"
He shuffled on the spot, his cheeks turning red, " Yeah�"
She shrugged, " Well, just give me the general gist of it then."
He raised his eyebrows, " The general gist? Well, um�"
" Did you have a general gist?" She asked him, resisting the urge to laugh.
He stared at her intently, " I had something important to say."
She gazed back, " Such as?"
" First and foremost I'm sorry I've been such a child." He told her, " I'm sorry for all the babysitting that you had to do, just by staying with me when no one else would bother."
She nodded slowly, a smile playing about the corners of her lips.
" But I'm also sorry about the whole thing with the play." He continued sincerely, " I can't believe I was selfish enough to walk away from that great performance." He watched her carefully, " You were amazing."
She nodded, " I have to admit, I was hurt by your reaction."
" I�" He faltered, " I was jealous. Jealous of what you and Josh have, of your bonds and�" He shook his head, " Your history. You guys have so much history that it's hard for me to come to grips with."
" There isn't�" She started to say, but changed halfway through, " I mean, I'm not� I'm not together with Josh. Really, not at all. Never have been, in fact."
He looked down for a moment, hoping to conceal the smile that spread over his face, " Really?"
" Scout," she placed a hand on his arm, sending sparks coursing along his veins, " you've got to realise that Josh and I are good friends. More than just good friends. But�" She faltered.
He looked at her, " Yeah?"
She grinned, " God, I feel cheesy."
" Well, welcome to my life." He retorted.
She laughed, her eyes catching the candlelight for a passing second. He watched her, and could not help smiling himself. " So you were saying�" He prompted.
She looked down, her voice a mere whisper, " But he's not you."
He stared at her, and when she kept looking down, he had to reach forward and tilt her chin up with a trembling finger, just so that he could look into her eyes.
It was the world of the everlasting gaze, when they were just there, under the stars.
" You're right." He told her, " Sometimes I don't understand you, and sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all."
She looked down again.
" But I want to." He continued, his voice growing softer and softer, " I want to understand you, Faye Archer. I want to get to know someone who had grown to be so important to me."
" Do you?" She asked timidly, glancing up at him.
" Will you let me?" He asked her.
She smiled.
" Oh, wait a minute." He suddenly seemed to remember something, and turned away briefly to press 'play' on the CD player, which made her laugh, " Oh, is that what the background music is for?"
*Craig Armstrong's 'This Love' begins to play*
He turned back to her, holding out his hand, " To quote 'Strictly Ballroom'," he said, " I want to dance with you."
She watched him, her eyes bright, " I haven't heard this song before," she told him, " but Liz Fraser is going to sing, isn't she?"
He smiled but did not answer.
She closed her eyes briefly. " Thank you." She murmured.
" Faye�" he began, but she pressed a finger to his lips.
" Just dance with me." She said.
So he simply wrapped his arms around her.
She rested her head lightly on his shoulder, and they danced.
*vocals begin - who else but the one and only Liz Fraser*
--'This love / This love is a strange love / A faded kind of mellow / This love�'
She could hear his heartbeat if she concentrated hard enough, and it was comforting. His arms around her were comforting too, lending her a sense of security, something that she had forgotten the feel of� until now.
--'This love / I think I'm gonna fall again / And even when you held my hand / It didn't mean a thing, this love�'
Through the curtain of darkness, one could look through one of the lighted windows in the boys' dorms, and see Jake and Hamilton standing in their room, scripts in their hands.
Reading out loud, they drew imaginary swords and watched each other, speaking the lines of the play but already losing the distinction between the real and the unreal, where Benvolio was in love with Mercutio like Jake was in love with Hamilton - it was the one and the same.
In acting out the scene their hands touched briefly, and their gazes locked. Yet nothing needed to be said. There was just so much love in the world, and that was enough for everyone.
--'This love / Now rehearsed we stay, love / Doesn't know it is love, this love�'
Bella sat half-perched on Will's lap, the two of them working on Bella's homework. Every once in a while Bella would brush her hair away from her eyes, unwittingly sweeping the long blonde tresses onto Will's face. He would laugh and smooth her hair down. She would maybe giggle, turn around and plant a small kiss on his lips, showing all who bothered to look that there was just so much love in the world, and that was enough for everyone.
--' This love / It hasn't have to feel love / It hasn't need to be love / It hasn't meant a thing / This love�'
Scout looked into Faye's eyes, and saw the guards that she raised around herself fall away, one by one. She was no longer just the girl who could steal Ryder's car and drive it at a speed that was off the monitor; or that girl who took care of everyone' s business just because 'she was bored'.
From then on, she would not simply be the girl who had helped him through those darkest of his days. She was only Faye, and he saw her by the light of the single candle that burned by their side, by the light of the shimmering stars overhead.
She gazed at him, for once uncertain, for once with a question in her eyes. But she was still waiting� still waiting for him, like she always had done, like she always will.
And she was so beautiful.
He sighed softly, brushing his lips against hers.
Shiver, a kiss is just a kiss is just a kiss is just a kiss� but damn it, it wasn�t. It was not just a kiss. That soft touch could forever set them on fire.
Her eyes fluttered closed, then drifted open again as he pulled back slightly, the two of them looking at each other once more, dazed.
And then she smiled. Her eyes seemed to say, 'so, you finally get it now?'
He had. Tightening his embrace, he kissed her again, deeper this time, her arms wrapped around his neck, drawing him into her, into the unending sweetness. It seemed so easy to forget about everything around them, but Liz Fraser's voice still rang clear and true and hypnotic, surrounding them with magic, a dream beautiful enough to be heart breaking.
--'This love loves love / It's a strange love, strange love�'
He felt as though he was drowning and she felt as though she was slipping away, losing control over everything, losing control over their lives and indeed their hearts.
But it was okay - because there was just so much love in the world, and that was enough for everyone.
*Will's voiceover begins*
'I don't know how much I've said about love and support, but right now there is no need for words.
I only have one more thing I must say.
Thank you.
This is our life, and these are the people in our lives. We're just kids stumbling through life and there are limits to our capabilities and what we can do, but I am so grateful that we are all here, living, loving, giving each other reasons to laugh, to cry, to experience infinite sorrow, or unlimited high.'
Faye pulled Scout to her, their lips searching, that searing devotion passing through them, sparkling with the promise of a beautiful tomorrow.
--'This love� this love / This love is a strange love, strange love / I'm gonna fall again love / It doesn't mean a thing / Think I'm gonna fall again / This love�'
