Author’s Notes: Nicky's YA Episodes, season 2, episode 8. Revised version 2005.
You can find the commentary for changes to episodes 207-208 here.
Part One
Teaser
Faye Archer paused on the steps of Rawley Girls' Academy and looked up at the winter sky. It was surprisingly blue and clear, with no hint of clouds on the horizon, a welcome change to a few days ago, when the town of New Rawley suffered the biggest rainstorm it has had in years.
She fastened the buttons on her heavy coat, fumbling a little in her new leather gloves. Once finished, she held her hands up to the sun, admiring how the soft black hide encased her hands like a second skin.
"Classy," someone commented from behind her. Faye half-turned to see Leah Rickard, her roommate at Rawley, eyeing the gloves appreciatively as she came up beside her. "Where'd you get them?"
Faye shrugged. "An early Christmas present from my brother."
"That's nice of him," Leah said, with a trace of envy in her voice. "I wish mine's that generous, they must've cost a fortune."
"What can I say?" Faye shrugged with a small laugh. "I'm one of the few things in this world that he actually has feelings for."
"That I've heard," Leah chuckled. "Ryder Forrest is pretty notorious for his cold blood."
"That's what he likes to hear," Faye grinned, turning as a sudden movement caught her eye. Kate Fleming, the Dean's wife, was scurrying across the grounds, her expression terse. Both Faye and Leah watched as she approached Finn, resident teacher over at the Boys’ Academy, and the two walked off together, conversing intensely in subdued tones.
"In fact," Leah turned back to Faye with a glint in her eye. "Wasn't it Ryder who started the rumour that those two had a thing going under the Dean's nose? What do you think? Grain of truth?"
Faye smiled but did not answer, beginning to walk down the stone steps. "Where are you going?" Leah called after her.
"Into town," Faye answered without slowing. "See ya later."
Leah waved and turned back into the dormitory. Sticking her hands in her coat pockets, Faye headed toward the wrought-iron gates that separated the school from the humble town of New Rawley, strolling across the lawns that had remained lush through the beginnings of winter chill.
She stopped in her tracks, however, when she saw Hamilton Fleming sitting forlornly by the lake. Deciding to take a slight detour and offer her greetings, she walked closer.
Hamilton stared out over the water, arms wrapped around his knees. His blue eyes scanned the still waters, though the glazed look in them was clear indication that he didn’t see what he was so avidly watching.
Faye observed him, unnoticed, for a few moments. "Hey," she said finally, strolling up to stand beside him. "How are you?"
He glanced up, his eyes darkening when he saw who it was. "Fine, thanks," he said, turning back to the lake.
She shook her head. "You're lying."
He glanced up again. "Excuse me?"
"You're not fine," she said, rather bluntly. "None of you are fine. I've seen your whole gang wandering around looking as though you’ve all lost your best friends."
He merely shrugged, lowering his head again. There was a moment of silence.
"It's hard," she said softly, "forgiving a parent."
His head jerked up, and he gaped at her with what seemed a mixture of incredulity and horror. She pretended not to notice. "I haven't been able to do that myself," she continued. "But I hope you do learn to forgive her one day. It takes two people to salvage a relationship."
"How… how did you…? What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded, jumping to his feet.
She merely looked at him, her expression semi-amused. "I gotta go," she said simply, turning away.
"Wait, Faye," he began, only to be interrupted by Jake Pratt calling his name as she ran up to the lake. Her dark hair was wet and she had slicked it behind her ears, making her look paler and somewhat girlier than usual.
"Hi Jake," Faye said cheerfully as the other girl approached them. "Sorry, but I can't stay. Gotta pick up my car from the garage. I'll see you guys later."
"But…" Hamilton called again, rather desperately. "Faye…"
She turned with a grin. "Who do you think you're talking to, huh? Don’t worry, I can keep secrets."
With a cheery wave she was gone, leaving Hamilton and Jake staring after her, the latter looking lost. "Secrets?" she asked Hamilton, her tone betraying a hint of hurt.
He glanced at her and sighed. "Jake, I think we have to talk."
***
The gas station
Bella Banks stood back and surveyed her handiwork. Faye's BMW convertible sat in the garage, looking like a shiny black dream, and Bella knew from a test drive that it ran like a dream too. She awarded herself a small smile: it took a lot of time to restore the car after Faye drove it in here a few weeks ago with the engine nearly falling out, but at last the job was done.
"Looking good," Will Krudski remarked his seat on the shop steps.
"Yeah," she replied, peeling off her rubber gloves. "Faye's picking it up today, since she's going away for winter break. I'm glad I finished it on time."
He nodded but did not answer, and she glanced at him. His gaze was firmly trained on the diner across the road. Following his line of sight with a frown, she couldn’t help a sigh when she saw Scout Calhoun at the counter, folding napkins and working his usual Sunday morning shift. Sean McGrail was sitting on one of the stools, and the two looked like they were deep in conversation.
Normally a friendly smile and wave would be in order; but today Sean and Scout didn't look in Bella and Will’s direction, not even once. They carefully avoided glancing out of the windows, and when it was absolutely necessary, their eyes would travel past the glass vacantly, seemingly not taking into account that Bella and Will were sitting right across the road.
Bella set her gloves down, biting her lip. Will turned back to her with a soft sigh. "How long are they gonna keep this up?"
"It's only been a few days," she reminded him gently. It may be true that time healed all wounds, but she had a fair idea how long it'd take for the wounds that they had opened to heal, and a few days sure wasn't anywhere near it. Shaking her head with another wistful frown, she walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He sighed again, looking up at her as though he wanted to speak, but he only turned away once more, a disconsolate expression settling over his face.
"Hey all," Faye called, sauntering into the gas station. "My god, is it always so cold here?" she complained loudly. "My blood's turning to ice."
"Funny thing for you to say," Will said with a small teasing smile. "Seeing that you share the same blood with Ryder."
She laughed. "You're the second person to say something like that today. And it’s not even…" she glanced at her watch, "ten o'clock. Guess my darling brother hasn’t been rallying up huge public support in these parts. Wow," she bounded up to her car. "It looks great, Bella!"
"Thanks," replied the other girl, smiling. "It took some time. Hey," she wagged a finger at Faye warningly. "I didn't fix it up just so you can trash it again, okay? Take good care of it."
"I'll do my best," Faye grinned, sitting down beside Will. She surveyed the couple, who looked back at her quizzically, and after a moment asked, "So how are you guys doing?"
Bella and Will exchanged a wary glance. "Fine," Will answered with a small smile.
"Just so you know," Faye said matter-of-factly. "I don’t ask people how they are unless I think something's wrong. And the people who don't know me very well always seem to think 'fine' is a good enough answer, when they're anything but."
Bella shrugged. "It's just small talk, Faye. No one really cares about how you are."
"But I do," Faye replied, looking intently at the other girl. "I don't do small talk. If you're not fine, you should really say so."
Will smiled bitterly, turning to look at Scout and Sean once more. "And what if we tell you something's wrong? Can you fix it? Can you fix everything that’s wrong with the world?"
Faye didn't answer. Instead she raised her face to the sky again, her eyes scintillant in the silver sunlight.
*Faye's voiceover begins*
'I find it strange that I'm speaking on their behalf. But they have no voices left. It would seem that their pain has rendered them speechless and numb. It's not their fault, really; nothing's ever that simple. But the truth remains that they have no strength left inside for them to speak like they should or think like they should; they can no longer grasp the power that is needed of them to reconcile their broken relationships, to move forward, to seek redemption and pardon. So here I am, a mere passer-by in these series of events, and perhaps - if I’m lucky - I can do some good while I’m here.'
Part Two
*Opening credits and theme song*
Rawley Lake
The sun lent a crystalline quality to the crisp winter air, occasionally glancing off the lake in small flashes of silver. Hamilton and Jake stood at the edge of the docks, looking out over the water.
"So," he began after a pause, "I’m sorry I… like, ignored you for the past couple of days."
"So you’re not mad at me anymore?" she asked tentatively.
He shook his head silently.
"Then…" she chewed on her lower lip. "What is it? Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving for three weeks? Because it doesn’t look…"
"It's not you," he cut her off. Seeing her surprised expression, he added, his voice contrite, "I mean, of course I'll miss you, and I wish you didn't have to leave, but…it's not that."
"Oh," she replied, simultaneously relieved and nonplussed. "Then…?"
"Hamilton!" A call interrupted the unvoiced question. As they turned they saw Kate Fleming run up, looking slightly out of breath. "Hamilton," she said again, looking hopefully at her son. "I need to talk to you."
Jake watched, her jaw dropping, as Hamilton blatantly ignored his mother and turned away, striding ahead without a second glance. "Hamilton!" Kate called again, desperation evident in her voice. "Don't do this to me."
He kept walking, and for a moment Jake looked at Kate, aghast. She was just about to chase after Hamilton when she saw Kate press a hand over her forehead, looking as though she were about to burst into tears. "Oh," Jake said hurriedly. "Are you all right? I mean…" she trailed off, looking uncertainly at the older woman.
Kate only shook her head mutely, still staring at Hamilton's retreating figure as he strode away, resolutely not looking back.
***
The diner
"Hey," Faye tapped Sean on the shoulder as she sat down next to him. Scanning the room, she spotted a flustered Scout weaving through the hordes of customers in for Sunday brunch. "What’s up?"
"Faye!" Sean turned, looking surprised. "Haven't seen you in a while."
"Not since the Kevin episode," she agreed, smiling at the memory. "So how are you doing?"
"Fine." Noting her exasperated expression, he frowned. "What?"
She shrugged. "I'm getting sick of people telling me they're fine when they're not."
"What, you'd rather listen to me bitch about how much my life sucks?" he teased half-heartedly. "Oh, I forgot. Of course you'd be happiest when there’s melodrama."
"Give me melodrama any day," she grinned. "Seriously, though? I'd rather hear the truth."
"The truth?" he repeated, a note of contempt creeping into his smile. "No thanks, I'll take the sugar-coated version any day. Had enough of the truth to last me a while."
She was quiet for a moment, turning to the window. He glanced at her, following her line of sight, and scowled when he saw that she was watching Bella and Will. He turned away quickly.
"You ever been in love, Sean?" she asked suddenly, still looking out the window.
"What’s that to you?"
"Just wondering. You know, if you were in love with Bella."
His eyes darkened at the sound of the name. "Don't talk about her."
She ignored him. "Because, you know, they are in love. And it wasn’t their fault, Sean."
"I don’t need this right now," he muttered, getting to his feet. "Just save the shrink act for someone else, okay?"
She shrugged. "Just opening your eyes to a few facts."
"What, you didn't think I knew all this before?" he demanded. "I'm not blind, you know."
"Yeah, but it sounds more convincing when someone else says it," she drawled idly, taking off her gloves and setting them carefully in her lap.
He opened his mouth, but after a moment's pause, closed it again. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at her and walked out of the diner without another word. She merely smiled.
"Man, what did you say to him?" Scout asked, coming up from behind her with a tray full of dirty dishes.
She pointed to the coffee pot behind the counter, " Can I have cup? Thanks, black, no sugar."
"Sure." He glanced at her as he set the tray down and went to pour the coffee. "So what’s going on with Sean?"
"I guess he's a bit unstable at the moment," she shrugged, taking the cup gratefully. After a long sip, she peered at him over the rim of the cup. "How are you holding up?"
"How do you think?" he retorted, taking the tray back into the kitchen. A moment later he re-emerged, wiping his hands on his apron. "You've been listening to me rant for the past three days, you know exactly what I'm going through."
"I do," she nodded, swivelling around on the counter stool as he went to clear another table.
He noticed her wide grin. "What’s so funny?"
"Nothing. It's just nice not to hear someone say they're fine for once."
He glanced over his shoulder, looking nonplussed. "What?"
"Never mind," she shook her head quickly.
He raised an eyebrow but did not say anything as he turned back to clearing the table. A moment later, he looked over his shoulder again, uneasily, to find her violet gaze still trained on him over the edge of her coffee mug. "What are you doing?"
"I'm thinking about how to get your mind off Will and Bella."
He flinched as though she’d slapped him. "Don't bother. It's not gonna happen."
"Not if you think like this you won't." She took another sip.
"Faye," he sighed, absently wiping down the table. "You know it's not like I could just…accept what they've done."
"Forgiveness is probably a virtue," she said. "I know you're in pain, Scout, but it doesn't mean you have to drag them into that place with you. Everyone deserves to be happy."
"You really believe in that crap?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yeah, right," she drawled with a small grin. "But it sounds pretty therapeutic and wise, doesn't it?"
"I guess," he replied, grabbing his tray again. Seeing that she was about to respond, he shook his head, "It's okay, Faye, I don't need some sort of therapist right now. I just need a friend."
She nodded. "I can do that."
He gave her a small smile.
***
The gas station
"What do you think they're talking about?" Bella wondered aloud, catching Faye's frequent looks from Friendly's.
"Three guesses," Will answered resignedly. "On second thought, just make that one. How does Faye know so much about what's going on, anyway?"
"Jake’s mad at me," she shrugged, walking back into the shop with him following close behind. "I needed to talk, and I guess Faye was… just around."
"Yeah," he agreed slowly as they settled onto the couch. "She seems to do that. But it looks like she's gonna try to solve this thing for us." With a wistful chuckle, he shook his head. "Just like Scout. If he was still speaking to me, I'd totally try to fix them up."
She offered a small smile, but said nothing.
"Anyway," he changed the topic. "I hear there’s the pre-Christmas Break party at Joe’s place tonight, as usual."
"Tradition’s tradition," she leaned back against his shoulder. "He’s been holding the winter party for what? Five years now?"
"So we're going?" he asked, looking hopeful. "As a real couple? I mean, after all we’ve been through…"
She was silent for a long while before she answered. "I don't know."
"You don't know what? If we're going or not?" he asked curiously. "Why shouldn't we go?"
"You know what Joe’s parties are like," she reminded him. "Half the town's gonna be there. Rawley kids, Edmund kids… It's gonna be a madhouse. We'll probably run into Sean and Scout, too."
"I'm sick of worrying about them," he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "We've done our part, Bella; we told them, didn’t we? Why should we be the ones who still have to suffer for this? I’m sick of trying not to step on their toes."
She glanced up in surprise. "This isn't like you, Will."
"I'm just…" he sighed, glancing away. "Look, the whole point of us telling them was for us to stop hiding, and if you’re gonna do this, then what difference is there?"
She was silent.
"Come on," he cajoled. "Let's just go somewhere as a normal couple for once."
She looked toward Friendly's again, her eyes lightened by the pale light of the late morning. Faye was still sitting at the counter, and every now and then when there was a lull in business, Scout would talk to her for a few moments, his expression by turns sombre and thoughtful.
Bella sighed again, pressing a hand to her forehead. "I just wish…"
Will glanced at her when she bit her lip and turned away, leaving the sentence hanging. "What, Bella?"
She shrugged. "I don't even know anymore."
***
Jake and Hamilton's room
"Okay, what the hell was that about?" demanded Jake as she walked into the room she shared with Hamilton, closing the door firmly behind her.
Hamilton, who had fled here earlier, glanced up from his bed with a defiant look, but said nothing.
She sat down next to him. "Your mom was in tears after you left. I had to take her home."
"Why should I care?" he asked in a low voice, not meeting her eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly, "Hamilton… please just tell me. I can't help you unless you let me know what's going on."
He kept his eyes downcast. "No one can help me."
She stared at him for a few more moments, and when it became apparent that he had nothing else to say, she shook her head and stood up. "Fine," she said, her tone carrying an edge of bitterness. "I guess you'll tell me when you're ready."
She started to walk away, only to have his hand close around her wrist. "Jake," he said softly, a plea in his voice. "Don't be mad. I'm just… just not ready to talk about it."
She nodded. "I know. I'm not mad."
"You seem mad," he persisted, frowning.
She began to shake her head, but a look of fresh determination crossed her face and she sat back down. "You know what?" she exclaimed. "I am mad. I'm mad at the fact that you won't tell me what's bugging you, even though it's obvious it's eating you up inside; I'm mad at you for treating your mom like crap without any apparent reason; and I am also mad at the fact that Faye of all people seems to be more clued into what you're going through than I am. What’s going on, Hamilton? I thought I was supposed to be the girlfriend here! Shouldn't I know these things?"
He stared at her mutely, looking taken aback by the sudden outburst.
She dropped her gaze, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I dunno what got into me. It’s just…" she sighed again, trailing off.
"No," he shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's not fair on you, and I know it." Lifting her chin up, he stared into her eyes. "Please don't think I'm confiding in Faye and leaving you out of it. I’m not. I have no idea how she found out, honestly; she just seemed to know."
"Know about what?" She turned her face, blinking. "Hamilton, I’m worried about you. I just can’t stand seeing you like this."
"Jake," he said with difficulty. "It’s just that… I don’t want you to… have the burden of knowing it."
She glanced at him, and he looked away again, swallowing. "It's not something you can correct, and it's just gonna make life worse for you if you know. Trust me, it'll be better if no one knew."
"I believe you," she said quietly. "But I can see you're not dealing with it on your own. You need someone to talk to. You need me."
"Jake," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again. "My mom’s having an affair with Finn."
"What? I mean… oh my god…"
"I know," he said with a bitter chuckle. "Now you know why I can’t even look at her right now."
"Hamilton…" she murmured, lost for words.
"I found them kissing the other day," he choked on his words. "And I can't get it out of my mind, Jake, it’s driving me crazy…"
"Oh, Hamilton," she sighed, wrapping her arms around him and feeling him start to sob into her shoulder. "Maybe… maybe it was just the one time."
"That doesn't make it better, Jake," he whispered. "It was wrong no matter what."
She could feel him shaking and she cradled him, rocking gently back and forth, "It's gonna be all right," She murmured. "It's gonna be all right."
"No," He shook his head, his fingers grasping onto her arm tightly. "It won't. It’ll never be all right…"
***
The diner
Scout tossed his apron back in the kitchen and waved to the guy who took over the afternoon shift. Turning to Faye, he asked, "Wanna go somewhere? I've got the afternoon free."
She shrugged as they walked out of Friendly's. "I dunno. I have some packing to do, since we leave tomorrow. Ryder and I are going to New York for winter break."
"Who are you visiting? I thought your mom's in Atlanta," he replied as she manoeuvred herself into her convertible with a neat handspring. Thinking better of it, he duly opened the door and climbed in.
"She is, and no one’s in New York," she turned on the ignition. "But Ryder doesn't want to go home for winter, and neither do I. So we're gonna hit the city for a few weeks, take on the shopping."
"You’re not spending Christmas with your family?" he asked, a little incredulously.
"I'll be with Ryder, won't I?" she said blithely. He started to say something but she cut him off. "What about you? Where are you going?"
He looked out the window as the car started toward Rawley. "You know, I was gonna go home for just a few days and then come straight back here."
"Ah," she nodded knowingly. "And that's not gonna happen now."
He shook his head. "I need to get away from this place. I think I'll stay home and sort some things out."
She observed him out of the corner of her eye. "Are you coming back for spring semester?"
"I don't know," he said after a long silence. "I guess that's another thing I have to work out when I get home. Will you be back?"
"Very likely." Glancing at him quickly, she smiled, "Hey, I'll miss you if you don't come back."
"It's nice to know somebody still cares about me," he said softly, looking up at the sky.
She quirked an eyebrow. "I'll give you a cookie if I see you back here."
"Thanks," he grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."
Part Three
Will and Scout's room
Will stood in the centre of his dorm room and looked around. The afternoon light was cold and clear, falling into bright squares on the polished wood floor. His side of the room was as messy as always, stacks of books and journals sitting on top of one another on his desk in complete disarray. Scout's side, however, was stripped bare, all of its contents stuffed into a few cardboard cartons littered around the room.
He sighed glumly, sitting down on his bed. It looked as though Scout wasn't going to follow through with his plans of spending most of Christmas break here. But then, Will could hardly blame him.
The door opened and Scout walked in, his face darkening at the sight of Will. Not bothering to acknowledge the other boy, he grabbed a book from the top of one of his cartons and sat down on his bed, leafing through the pages.
"Um, Scout," Will began timidly.
Scout ignored him. Will paused, sighing softly. "I was wondering when you're gonna come back next semester."
Scout stopped flicking through his book for just a second before resuming the task again, not looking up.
"Cos, you know," Will looked at him imploringly. "As much as you hate me now, I still want us to be friends. I'll do anything to make it up to you, I swear…"
He trailed off as Scout got off the bed, walked to his cartons and pulled out his portable CD player. He sat back down on his bed, stuck the headphones on, and went back to his book, without so much as a glance in Will's direction.
Will gave up. Sliding off his bed, he walked out of the room.
As the door clicked shut behind him, Scout finally looked up, the light catching his eyes and turning them to bright, lucent blue.
***
Rawley Boys' Academy, common room
Hamilton draped himself across the full length of the couch, watching the afternoon sun throw its slanted silver rays across the room. He was half-heartedly listening to the idle chatter of the guys around him; most of them were talking about the huge party that some guy from town was throwing tonight. The annual winter party was the reason why so many Rawley students have stayed over the weekend, although school had already finished.
Jake was also leaving the next day, not because of the party, but because that was the best fit for her arrival in Monica Pratt’s busy schedule. Half of him wanted to spend a quiet romantic evening in with her, but the other half just wanted to lose himself somewhere in the night, half-drunk and removed, if only for a little while, from everything that was weighing down on him lately.
He felt a familiar surge of love in his chest as he saw Jake enter the room, carrying her lean frame across the floor in easy strides. As she sat down next to him he noted that her hair was getting longer again, and it hung floppily over her eyes. With a jolt he noticed that she was wearing the blue shirt that she wore the first time she kissed him on the roof. It seemed like a lifetime ago. "Hey," he said softly. "Are you packed?"
"I'm not going," she said.
"What?" he exclaimed, sitting up straight. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not going to London," she said again, resolutely. "I'll call my mom now. I'm staying here for winter break."
"What? Why?" he demanded, but did not wait for an answer before he groaned, burying his head in his hands. "No, Jake, don't do this cos of me. You need to see your mom."
"You need me here," she said quietly. "My mom can wait, I'll go see her during spring break or something, but I can't leave you here like this. Not now."
"Jake," he whispered, a little lost for words. "Don't do this. I'll be okay."
"You're not okay," she replied, staring at him. "I can't just go off to London and make you stay here by yourself for three weeks, not after…" She paused, looking a little awkward. "I'm staying," she said simply. "You need me."
He closed his eyes and exhaled. Truth be known, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to whiling away the weeks until he saw her again, losing himself in the dull miasma of these sad, silent days with no escape from the thoughts that now haunted him. "Jake," he said, taking a deep breath, opening his eyes once more. "You know how much this means to me."
She smiled, opening her mouth as though she wanted to speak, but he cut her off. "But you’re not staying," he said. "You're going to London, to be with your mom."
"But…"
"I know you're worried about me," he said quickly, with a wry smile. "Hell, I’m worried about me. But you’ve been looking forward to it for weeks. I just can't do this to you. I might be selfish to want you to stay, but I’m not selfish enough to go through with it."
"But…"
"I'm not gonna lie to you," he held up a hand, indicating that he wasn’t finished. "The thought of you spending winter break here is… awesome. And it’s so tempting. But you can't. Don't do this for me. I'll be okay."
She looked down, blinking rapidly. "Hamilton…"
"I'll call every day," he swallowed and attempted another smile. "We're gonna run up a huge phone bill. You can count on it."
She grinned, hastily wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Is that a promise?"
He nodded, gathering her into a tight hug. "It’ll be okay, Jake," he murmured.
"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
"No," he told her. "Thank you."
***
Scout and Will's room
In the darkened room, Scout sat on his bed, watching the night sky with disinterest. Will had not returned, probably having gone to the party in town. The halls, too, were eerily quiet, nearly all its inhabitants having made their ways to Joe’s house.
Shame, such a shame; think I kinda lost myself again
Day, yesterday; really should be leaving but I stay
Say, say my name, need a little love to ease the pain
Need a little love to ease the pain
It's easy to remember when it came
He still had his headphones on, and Massive Attack's 'Dissolved Girl' blasted out of the CD player, so loud that he could hardly hear himself think. But he welcomed it nonetheless, the pulsing synthetic background and hypnotic vocals sending him into a state of self-induced numbness.
Cos it feels like I've been, I've been here before
You're not my saviour but I still don't go
It feels like something that I've done before
I could fake it but I still want more
The claustrophobic beats gave way to a haze of fuzzy guitar, the overpowering electric riffs resonating through his head. He closed his eyes, revelling in this newfound madness. It seemed fitting somehow.
The background beats slowed, almost matching his own heartbeat. The voice began again, drawing trembling breaths as it sang on.
Fade, made to fade; passion's overrated anyway
Say, say my name; need a little love to ease the pain
Need a little love to ease…
The music suddenly drew to a stop. His eyes flew open to see Faye standing in front of him, the CD player in her hand, one finger on the stop button. "What are you doing?" he demanded, with more vehemence than necessary, as he wrenched off his headphones.
She picked up the CD case sitting on his dresser. "Massive Attack," she said, with a small smile. Turning toward him, she narrowed her eyes slightly and extended a hand. "Come on, I know that they're the best thing to hit trip-hop since someone came up with the idea of sampling, but it's our last night here, let's go party."
He shook his head, noticing for the first time that she was wearing a slinky black dress under her coat, the same one she picked out when they went shopping together in Carson. "I don't feel like it," he said, turning away.
"No way," she tugged on his arm. "You've got to come. Have some fun before we leave."
"I'm not in the mood for fun, Faye," he said sullenly. "If I wanna sit here brooding by myself, it's my business."
"Yeah, but there's no point in sitting here and brooding by yourself when you can go and brood in a roomful of people, drinking lots of free beer," she smiled. "I heard the guy hosting the party managed to get about half a dozen kegs from somewhere, so knock yourself out. "
He cracked a smile. "Well, when you put it that way…"
"Come on," she said again, her hold on his arm tightening.
"All right, all right," he said with resignation as he slid off the bed. "I'm coming."
***
Joe Pateron’s house
Joe’s house was of a decent size, though it still had trouble accommodating the partygoers that had streamed through steadily since nightfall. This was one of the rare social events in town that brought the Rawley and Edmund kids together, and people were jammed into every corner, doing everything from laughing and talking to groping and passing out. Beer was everywhere, in the flimsy paper cups that every single person seemed to be holding, splashed onto the walls, spilled over the carpet, ground into the couch in warm, damp messes. Joe, not one to skimp on things like this, did indeed manage to secure half a dozen kegs. By the way people were guzzling the stuff down, it was pretty obvious that they were going to make a fairly large dent in the supply by the end of the night.
Will and Bella wove through the crowd, holding hands and saying hi to classmates and acquaintances. Every single kid from school seemed to be there, and most of them greeted Will warmly, trying to catch up with his whereabouts now that he was attending Rawley.
However, Bella could not help noticing that a lot of her classmates, especially female ones, were giving her some very strange looks. She turned and bumped into Leslie Fields, a girl with whom she hung out in school. "Hey!" she called over the din. "Great party!"
Smiling, Leslie looked up. As soon as her eyes fell on Bella, however, the grin disappeared from her face. "Yeah, sure," she answered coolly, before promptly turning around and losing herself in the crowd.
Bella stood there, stung, staring as the other girl disappeared into the thick of the party. Feeling an insistent tug on her hand, she looked toward Will, who pulled her toward some of his Rawley friends. Her eyes still on the spot that Leslie occupied a few seconds ago, she let herself be dragged along as a tall black guy beckoned them over. "Chris," Will smiled as they approached. "How's it going, man?"
"Decent," Chris laughed. "Nice party. Who’s your lady friend?"
"Chris, this is Bella, my girlfriend," Will grinned happily. "Bella, this is Chris Hansen, we were on crew together."
"Nice to meet you," Bella smiled at Chris, who clicked his fingers with a look of recognition. "Hey, didn't you go to the Cotillion in the summer?"
"Yeah…" she started to reply with another smile. Before she could finish, however, someone crashed into her from behind, sending her stumbling forward. Bella turned sharply to see Katrina Wells, a dark-haired sophomore from Edmund High. Katrina ran with the more popular crowd at school, and it was public knowledge that she’d been going after Sean for a while to no avail. Given that information, Bella was always careful to keep her distance. "Are you all right?" she asked, steadying the girl, who looked dazed and sweaty and rather off her face.
It took a few moments for Katrina to focus on Bella, but when she did, she suddenly jerked away, glaring. Without another word she flounced off, leaving Bella staring after her.
"That was rude." A voice commented from beside her, and Bella turned to see Jake in full boy gear, frowning at Katrina's back. Hamilton was beside her, saying hi to Will and Chris.
"Jake!" Bella said with considerable relief. "Boy, I’m glad to see a friendly face."
Jake smiled back. "Haven't seen you around lately."
"Not since the fight," Bella said a little sheepishly.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that," said Jake, looking contrite. "I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."
"I'm sorry too," Bella replied. "I made a promise and I broke it. Even if I didn’t know what was going on, I should have just kept my mouth shut…"
"I overreacted," Jake cut her off. "Really, it's not your fault…"
"No, it was my fault. I just shouldn't have said anything…"
"No, really…" Jake began again before she dissolved into a smile. "We’ll be here all night doing this. Come on, let's just hug it out."
"Fine with me, girl," grinned Bella as they embraced.
"I'm gonna miss you," Jake murmured into Bella's shoulder. "Email me, all right?"
"Yeah, you can count on it," Bella pulled back, smiling. "When I've got a few extra bucks I might even try calling."
"I'll get you a souvenir," Jake promised. "I'm thinking… one of those tall felt Union Jack hats."
"Tell me you're kidding!" Bella giggled, hugging the other girl again.
***
"Looks like a madhouse," Faye laughed in delight as she and Scout approached Joe’s place. Music was blasting and teens were spilling from the packed party out onto the street. They pushed through the hordes of people, making their way onto the porch.
Before they could get in the door, however, they heard someone call Faye’s name. Turning, they saw Ryder Forrest saunter over. "Hey," Faye acknowledged her brother. "How's the party?"
"Not bad," Ryder shrugged, lighting a cigarette with studied nonchalance.
"I'll see you later then," Faye nodded as she led the way through the door.
"Hey, Calhoun," Ryder called after Scout, sneering faintly
Scout turned with a guarded frown. "What?"
Ryder merely smirked. "The whole party's talking about it, you know. Nice way to get dumped."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hey, the whole town knows about your embarrassing little love story by now," Ryder grinned, blowing a trail of smoke out of the side of his mouth. "Ironic, isn't it? Krudski, of all people, managed to get the girl. I never would've believed it. Pretty damn big bruise on your ego, I should think."
"What do you mean the whole town knows?" Scout demanded, taking a step forward. Ryder only leered and turned away, fading back into the darkness.
The look in Scout's eyes was apprehensive as he turned slowly, following Faye into the house.
Part Four
The party was raging on. Raucous music was blasting from the stereo, drowning out conversation. A group of kids were dancing in the middle of the living room, and many more were hidden away in the dark outer reaches of the house, having a general drunken good time.
Scout, however, sat on a chair in the corner, cheerlessly chugging on a beer. "I shouldn't have come," he grumbled.
"Come on," Faye said, trying to pull him to his feet. "You'll feel better if you start moving. Don't worry about what the others are saying."
Scout glanced around and, to his intense misery, saw quite a few people looking in his direction, whispering to each other. "Just look at them," he moaned. "Ryder was right, you know; the whole town knows. Everyone's gonna think I'm a loser."
"No one thinks you're a loser. Nothing was your fault. Okay, so Bella didn't choose you, big deal…"
"You don't understand," he interrupted, gulping down the rest of his cup. "It's the fact that Will, of all people… I mean, he was my best friend, for god's sake…"
"But they're not talking about you, logic boy," she told him, rolling her eyes. "If anyone's gonna be blamed, it's gonna be Will. You're just the innocent victim."
"That makes me feel a lot better," he muttered darkly. But upon seeing her scowl, he held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, let's just go dance."
"That's the only decent thing you've said in hours," she grinned, dragging him to his feet.
Before they even reached a space that remotely resembled an empty spot on the dance floor, however, Faye saw Scout's expression darken. "What now?" she snapped and followed his gaze to see Will and Bella, arms wrapped around each other, gently swaying in the middle of the room. With a weary sigh she turned back to Scout, who hastily averted his eyes, dropping his gaze to the floor.
"All right, all right," she said irritably. "Let's just go back and sit down and get drunk and pass out."
He didn't object.
As they slowly made their way back to the spot in the corner, Faye spotted Jake and Hamilton by one of the kegs, getting themselves a drink. "Hey!" she called, glad to get away from the wet-Calhoun-blanket, if only for a few moments. "How's it going, you guys?"
The couple turned at the sound of her voice. "Not bad," Jake said with a grin. "You having fun?"
"No," Faye groaned, glancing at Scout, who had settled down again, staring blankly into space. "He's driving me insane. Been moaning all night."
Jake and Hamilton laughed uncertainly, and Faye shook her head. "Well, you guys have fun, anyway."
She turned to go, but Hamilton quickly grabbed her by the shoulder. "Faye," he asked hesitantly. "Can I ask you something?
"Shoot."
"How… how did you…" he whispered, looking at a loss as to how to phrase the question. "I mean, where did you find out…"
She laughed at his expression. "Chill, Hamilton, I'm not, like, some psychic freak."
"No," he sputtered, "I didn't mean…"
She grinned, patting him on the shoulder. "I’m sorry I freaked you out. I just… notice things, okay? No one else knows."
That statement wasn't, she mused as she looked back at his suspicious face, entirely untrue. Granted, Ryder had told her about what he knew of Finn and Kate’s affair as soon as she arrived at Rawley, and she had kept careful watch on the couple for interest’s sake. She was rather proud of the fact that she managed to pick up something was still going on between them; not even Ryder had realised that. Perhaps that was for the better.
"But how did you just… notice…" he muttered, looking thrown.
She shrugged. "You were moping around campus for a week. You think I’m the only one who noticed that part? But I promise you no one else knows about your mom and…" she trailed off delicately.
"Okay," he said dubiously.
"Jake will look after you," she grinned, winking at the brunette, who had stood by silently, watching the exchange with a slightly furrowed brow. Jake merely nodded, placing a hand on Hamilton’s forearm.
"And in the meantime," Faye sighed, beginning to walk toward Scout. "Back to the grindstone."
Jake and Hamilton gazed after her with identical expressions of perplexity.
***
Sean sat in another corner of the room, gazing at Will and Bella, who seemed oblivious to all the attention they were attracting. He leaned back on the couch with a small roll of the eyes.
Someone flopped down beside him, and he glanced up to see a blond guy with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. "Lovely lil' couple," he remarked in a strong Cockney accent. "Makes me rather queasy."
Sean grinned. "Not disagreeing with you there."
The guy looked at him. "You know them?"
Sean shrugged, and as an afterthought, gave a brief nod.
"So you've heard, right?" the guy continued with a sarcastic laugh. "The classic all-American couple, treading on a few friends on the way to their cute lil' romantic world for two. Poor sods. Though I admit," he grinned, "it is fun to see Calhoun suffer."
Sean glanced at him. "You know Scout?"
The guy shrugged. "Gets on my nerves."
"Me too, more often than not," Sean grinned, extending a hand. "Sean McGrail."
"Ryder Forrest." The guy shook his hand carelessly.
"So you're Faye's brother," Sean remarked with a smirk. "The Antichrist."
Ryder merely looked back at him with a self-satisfied chuckle.
***
Hamilton held his hand out in front of his face and was amused to see that he couldn't place it in focus. "Jake? Where are you?" he called, his words slightly slurred.
"Yeah?" Jake, who was standing right next to him, answered vacantly. She shook her head, looking as though she was trying to clear it. "I'm kinda dizzy. Maybe we should take a walk."
"Yeah, a walk’d be good," he replied absently, taking her hand. Unsteadily, they pushed through the clutter of people in the living room. "I think too we had much…" Jake said, before stopping short as she chuckled and tried again, "I think maybe we had too much to drink…. Hamilton…"
"I’d say you’re right," he replied woozily, grinning. "Let's just get outta here." Walking out into the hallway, he pushed a door open at random, blinking at the darkness within.
"Don't think this is the way out," she peered over his shoulder.
"Gotta check," he mumbled, dragging her along. "Argh!" he yelled as he stumbled down a few steps. "Careful, stairs…"
Grappling around the wall, Jake found a light switch and flicked it down. A flood of light burst in front of them, causing them to recoil, blinking in disorientation. "It's a basement!" Hamilton exclaimed, walking down the stairs.
"Hamilton…" she said uncertainly, lingering in the doorway. "I don’t think we're supposed to be here."
"The door was unlocked, wasn't it? We’ll just have a look."
"What are we gonna find in a basement?" she asked with a small roll of the eyes as she followed him down.
"A pool table," he said matter-of-factly, coming to a stop. The basement was rather spacious, well-lit, and sure enough there was a pool table set up in the middle of it. "Challenge you to a game."
"You know I can kick your butt," she laughed.
"Yeah," he grabbed a cue from the basement wall. "I was hopin’ maybe I’ll have a better chance now we're both drunk."
"You wish, Fleming," she said teasingly, taking the other cue from the wall. As she moved toward the table, however, her hand brushed against his and he caught her by the wrist. "Hey," he said huskily. "I have a better idea."
"Last time you had a 'better idea'," she groaned. "I ended up half-naked and ready to jump into a shower with you. In the dorms. Broad daylight and all…"
"There's no showers in the basement, " he told her, quite seriously, pushing her gently back against the wall. Placing his hands on either side of her shoulders, he gave no attention to the pool cue fallen to the wayside, the game forgotten.
"Yeah?" she replied softly, looking into his eyes.
"I'm gonna miss you."
"Me too. I mean, I'm gonna miss you too…" she replied, the words trailing away as his lips brushed hers. She drew up to him as he kissed her deeply, his fingers stroking along her jawline. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
She could feel his hand trace down the curve of her throat, sweeping by her collarbone and down her side, coming to rest just above her hip. His lips moved lower, planting butterfly kisses down her neck. She sighed softly and tilted her head back, feeling him gather her up into a close embrace. His hand worked its way to the back of her waist, and she could feel his fingers touch bare skin, the sudden contact making her shudder.
He kissed her again, more insistently this time. The warm, steady hand on her lower back moved up, slowly sliding underneath the corset. She couldn't help a small grin when the fluid movement came to a stop, the corset too tight for him to manoeuvre his hand any further.
"Don't laugh," he whispered, smiling himself.
"You're so cute," she told him as he tugged on the binder, hands still under her two layers of shirts, and she heard the Velcro rip apart. Inhaling deeply, she leaned in with another smile and kissed him again.
***
Out on the living room dance floor, Bella rested her head on Will's shoulder with an uneasy sigh. "What's wrong?" he asked, brushing his lips against her cheek.
"It's nothing," she said, but added after a moment's pause, "I dunno, do you feel like people are watching us?"
"You're just nervous to be out here with me," he laughed softly. "No one's watching."
As he said that, however, he lifted his head and raised his eyebrows when he caught three or four people turn away hurriedly when their gazes met. Shrugging, he said, "It's probably nothing."
"I don't know, Will," she shook her head. "Girls from school have been really distant to me all night. I don't just mean people like Katrina, either; Leslie, Rachel… I swear they're avoiding me."
"Why would they be avoiding you?" he asked. "Now you're being paranoid."
"I don't think so," she sighed. "I just… I just wish I knew why."
"I'm sure it's nothing, Bella," he said, biting his lower lip. "I'm sure it's nothing."
A couple of girls walked by them, glancing over quickly as they passed. As soon as she was sure that the couple could not hear her, the first girl grinned at the other. "Told you," she said. "Bella and Will. Like, finally."
Their voices carried over to Scout’s corner, and he glanced up. Faye, sitting by him, couldn’t help another irritable look.
Unaware of Scout's attention, the second girl laughed. "Yeah, only took them like, five years longer than everyone else thought."
"I know. Haven't you heard the news? Apparently she had three guys fighting over her. Sean McGrail and some rich guy from Rawley were falling over themselves, and I heard she was leading them on, big time."
"But she seems so nice…"
Scout craned his neck but could only hear strains of the conversation as the girls walked past him, oblivious to his scrutiny. "Guys like that kind of stuff, you know," the first girl said, her voice fading as they headed out of the room. "Innocent girl next door…"
Faye shook her head with a sigh. "Sour bitchiness."
He didn’t respond.
"She wasn't leading anyone on, Scout," she said gently. "Bella isn't that kind of person, and neither is Will. Look, I know I've only been here for a few weeks, but even I can tell they must be beating themselves up for this. They didn't mean to hurt anyone, Scout; you've got to believe that."
"They could've stopped it, couldn't they?" he retorted, setting his jaw. "I don't know what to believe anymore."
***
"Hamilton?" Jake murmured as she sank slowly to the floor, feeling as though her knees have turned to water. One of her shirts have been tossed aside, and Hamilton was preoccupied with removing the other one as she spoke. His hands were roaming over foreign territory, and she felt a tremor of something other than contentment run through her.
"Yeah?" he eased himself down on top of her, his breath warm against her cheek.
"Do you have… um, protection?" she asked, opening her eyes apprehensively.
He extracted his hand from under her top long enough to reach into his back pocket and come up with a small foil square, smiling triumphantly. "Yup," he murmured, leaning in to kiss her neck again.
She didn't share his smile. "Hamilton," she murmured. "I don’t know if this is a good idea…"
"What?" he demanded, the grin fading from his face. "Jake, tell me you're not serious."
"I… " she paused, sighing. "I just don't feel… It just doesn't feel right."
"Feels right to me," he said with a small pout.
Unpinning herself from under him, she pressed a hand over her face. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just can't do it, not yet. Everything’s moving too fast…"
He set his jaw and worked himself to a sitting position. "Jake…"
"I'm sorry, I really am," she sat up, lowering her head so that her hair swept forward and obscured her eyes. "I had too much to drink, and I just realised that… I can't go through with it. Not right now."
He was silent. Biting her lip, she continued, eyes downcast, "I want my first time to be special. And I… thought I was ready, but I'm not." She looked overwhelmed. "I can't do it. Not here."
To her surprise, she heard something that sounded like muffled laughter coming from his direction. "What?" she demanded.
"No, it's just," he grinned, shrugging. "Doing it in some strange guy's basement between the washing machine and the pool table wasn't exactly one of my fantasies either."
She smiled thinly. "You're not mad?"
"Why should I get mad?" he asked, his expression turning serious as he looked into her eyes. "Jake, it's entirely up to you. I'm happy to wait."
"Really?"
"I'm not gonna pressure you into anything you don't want to do," he said simply.
"Hamilton," she began again, a relieved grin spreading across her face. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"
"You have," he said, smiling. "But I wouldn't mind hearing it again."
"Well, I do. Very much."
"I love you too," he replied with another chuckle as he pulled her to her feet. "Put your clothes back on, woman, before I get worked up."
She laughed and picked her shirt and binder up from the floor. "Are you sure you're okay with it?"
"Nothing a couple of Playboys can't handle."
"Okay, really didn’t need to hear that," she groaned as she fastened the corset and put her shirt back on.
He laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Come on, let's go home. There's an old movie marathon on cable, and since everyone else is gonna at this party for a while, we could have a nice, quiet, romantic night in."
"That'd be nice," she agreed as they started back up the stairs.
Part Five
Bella sat down next to Will with a sigh. A few potted ferns stood at the back of their couch, effectively closing off a corner of the living room and shielding them from the rest of the party. She was grateful for the sanctuary.
Although she was happy that she and Will have finally brought their relationship into the open, she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Many of her school friends have either ignored her, treated her very coolly, or shot dirty looks at her every time she turned their way. And the worst part was that she had no idea what was going on.
"Hey," Will said softly. "You all right?"
"Sure," she nodded, trying to look more cheerful than she felt. "Give me a minute, Will, I'm just tired."
"Okay." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Bella…"
"I'm serious," a voice came from behind them, interrupting Will. "She had them all hanging on by a string."
The voice unmistakably belonged to Katrina Wells. Bella gave a small start and turned around, only to find that the ferns had blocked her view. "The little bitch was just making the rounds," Katrina spat, her voice clear and carrying. "Treating each and every one of them like they’re her personal possession. You know Grace Banks…"
A few guys snickered. "Sure do," one of them piped up, his tone coloured by knowing lewdness.
Bella sat up ramrod straight, biting down hard on her lip, her eyes fixed on the ferns even though she could see nothing of Katrina.
"Well, I knew the little miss goody two shoes act was too good to be true. I'm telling you, it runs in the family."
Bella drew a sharp intake of breath, and it choked somewhere in the back of her throat.
"You think she's all sunshine and bunnies? Hello?" Katrina's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I betcha she planned this whole thing. Even Sean fell for it. He didn't deserve that, he's a good guy. None of them deserved it, she's played them all like pawns."
Bella barely even noticed when Will reached for her hand, his cold fingers squeezing her own.
"She was sleeping with all three of them at the same time," Katrina continued, enjoying the undivided attention of her listeners. "Yeah, who would've thunk it, you know? Bella Banks of all people?"
The colour drained from Bella's cheeks. The music that filled the room stopped momentarily as the stereo changed discs, and over the sounds of chattering Katrina's voice rang out. "It's true, Bella Banks is nothing but a three-timing slut!"
Silence fell. All eyes turned toward the direction of Katrina, including the gazes of Scout and Faye, Sean and Ryder.
The crowds shifted, looking uncomfortable with the sudden outburst. Though it had been whispered around the room during the course of the night, no one had quite wanted the accusations to stand stark like this, beyond the veils of whispers and measured looks. Someone turned the stereo off, the mood of the party suddenly evaporating.
And to their horror, they saw Bella stand up behind the ferns. Will, his face deathly pale, accompanied her.
Katrina's hand flew to her mouth, looking surprised at the sudden silence. Nevertheless she retained her indignant look, not seeing Bella and Will behind her. "What?" she continued, her voice dropping a little. "It's true."
With a muffled cry Bella stumbled past the stunned onlookers, pushing through them without a second glance, dashing toward the door.
"Bella!" Will and Faye shouted at the same time. Without a second of doubt Faye scrambled to her feet and chased after the distraught girl. "Bella, wait!" she called as she disappeared out the front door.
For a moment Will looked as though he were about to follow them, but instead he turned back to Katrina, white and shaking. "How dare you?" he asked, his voice scarcely more than a whisper. "How dare you?"
Katrina blanched, but she held her head high as she stared back at him. "I dare because it's true."
"Nothing you said was true!" he shouted, taking a couple of quick steps toward her, his fists clenching at his sides. "You don't know the first thing about what happened, so don't assume that you can just make up all this crap and make everyone believe it!"
Katrina shrank back, angry red spots appearing on her cheeks.
"If you weren’t a girl," he said through gritted teeth, "Katrina…"
"What would you do then?" A voice rang out, and everyone swivelled around to see Scout, staggering to his feet in the corner, his eyes glazed over. "She told the fucking truth, Krudski! Way to threaten a girl!"
"I can't believe you're saying this, Scout," Will spat. "Didn't you hear what she said?"
"She was three-timing us!" Scout yelled, his eyes blazing. "And if that makes her a slut, then I’m inclined to agree!"
Without another word Will flew at him, his fist catching the other boy’s jaw. Scout stumbled back, but rebounded with a jarring blow to Will's stomach. Angry shouts broke out around them as the guys near them tried to hold them back, both of them struggling and lunging at each other to exchange blows. "What, you can't take it?" Scout taunted with a bitter laugh. "Or maybe you're just scared she might play you like she played us?"
Another round of yelling erupted as Will struggled free of his constraints, tackled Scout to the ground and pummelled him. He managed to get a few solid punches in before enough people assembled to pull him off the shorter boy, who sat up, holding a hand to a bloodied nose. Nevertheless he was laughing hysterically. "Come on, take a shot, Krudski," he choked out. "Everyone's bringing me down."
"That’s enough, Calhoun!" Sean yelled, standing up and striding over to the commotion. "Get over yourself," he muttered. "D’you think everything happens just to make you suffer? I thought you'd changed, man; but you're really still that spoilt little rich boy who thinks everything in this universe happens because of him. I know you're angry, so am I, but it doesn't give you the right to… to…"
"Be a bitch," Ryder supplied lazily from the couch. A few girls snickered, and Scout could feel his face burn.
***
"Bella! Wait!" Faye called as she ran after the other girl. Putting on an extra burst of speed, she passed Bella, who was blinded by tears, stumbling into the cold night. The confused girl ran right into her arms, and the two of them staggered back. "Get a grip on yourself!" Faye yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders. "You know it's not true, what she said!"
"But everyone believes it," Bella sobbed, pressing her hands to her face. "Did you see them? Everyone thinks I’m such a slut…"
"Don't think that," Faye murmured, taking the distraught girl into her arms. "People aren’t that bad."
"Did you hear what she said? She said I was sleeping with all three of them! I wasn't, you've got to believe me, I wasn't… I would never…"
"I know," Faye said, somewhat indignantly. "Of course I know. I'm telling you, that bitch was just jealous she couldn't get three guys fighting over her at the same time."
"She… she likes Sean," Bella hiccuped.
"There you go," Faye said matter-of-factly. "She's so jealous she can't even see straight. Believe me, I’m gonna give her a piece of my mind. Come on, let's get back inside so you can see me whip her."
"No!" Bella cried, shrinking back. "I'm not going back in there! I can't…"
"Bella," Faye said, seizing her by the shoulders once more. "You have to. You’ve got to prove to them that you're not what she said. You have to prove to them that you're the innocent one."
"I can't do it," Bella whispered hoarsely. "Don't make me. They're all gonna be laughing… Everyone thinks I'm… I’m like my sister…"
"You're not," Faye said firmly. "And no one thinks that."
"You heard what she said! I never meant for any of this to happen, I just… I just couldn't help it…"
"I know. And anyone with half a brain would figure it out. Trust me, no one would be standing on that girl's side. You're better than her, and everyone knows it."
Bella looked up timidly, wiping a tear from her cheek.
"You've got to be strong and go back there," Faye said firmly. "It's not only for yourself, you know. Will's still in there, and you need to be with him." Bella started to protest, but Faye cut her off, "Have you ever seen Jake and Hamilton dealing with a crisis?" she asked, suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere. "Have you?"
Bella shook her head. "W… what?"
"They draw their strength from each other," Faye told her. "I know they've had their share of bad times, but they always seem to come out of it stronger and even more in love. You wanna know how they manage to do that? It's because they deal with it together. If you want this to work with Will, you've got to start now. Do you understand me?"
Bella bit her lower lip, nodding slightly.
Faye hugged her again. "Look, just go back in there and hold your head high. Find Will, and hold on to him, because you’re supposed to help each other through this. Just grit your teeth and believe in the fact that you’re not the bad person there." She flexed her biceps playfully. "Hey, just watch me deal with that bitch. I'm gonna put her in the ground."
Bella managed a small, tearful smile.
***
From where he had fallen to the ground, Scout held his hand over his bloody nose and gazed up at Will and Sean. The two Townies stood side by side, staring him down.
He looked around the room and could feel the eyes of everyone on him. That feeling of being lost and alone was no stranger to him these days. He wanted to say something, anything to break the silence; but the moment stretched on as though it may never end, the world reduced down to him and everybody else.
Suddenly, a small commotion stirred at the front door. The crowd turned, more or less as a whole, to see Bella stand in the doorway, staring straight ahead. Her jaw was set, and although her eyes were red-rimmed and apprehensive, she stood tall and regal, like a queen.
Faye stood behind her, looking out over the people, her expression immobile as her gaze came to rest on Katrina.
Bella took a tentative step into the room, looking as though she was only too aware of the fact that she was the centre of attention. But she held her head high, and Will dashed to her side. "Bella," he said breathlessly.
"Brought her back in one piece, Will," Faye gave Bella a gentle push toward him. "Take care of her, okay?"
"Thanks, Faye," said Will, wrapping his arms around Bella. "Are you all right?" he whispered.
She nodded weakly. "Don’t leave me."
"I won’t," he promised, turning his head as Faye brushed past him and into the thick of the crowd, who parted, a little apprehensively, as she passed.
Scout watched as Faye walked toward him, her eyes surveying the scene. There was something unsettling in her gaze. "Please don't tell me," she said under her breath as she helped him to his feet, "that you stood up for the girl who called Bella a slut."
He jerked his gaze away angrily. Beside him, she heaved a furious sigh. "You messed up big, Scout," she muttered. "I hate to tell you this, but you really did."
"What?" he demanded angrily. "But…"
"Don't make a scene," she silenced him. "Just… will you wait for me outside? We'll talk."
He opened his mouth, looking indignant, but she shook her head. "Not now, Scout, outside."
Something in her voice must've hit a chord because he turned on his heels and walked out, pushing past the crowd without a backward glance. The partygoers were beginning to become noisy again. The drama seemed to be over for now, and people were starting to peel away, wondering if it was possible to get back into the party mood. Somebody switched the stereo back on.
Meanwhile, Faye turned and started toward Katrina, the look in her eyes deadly serious. The other girl flinched, shifting back uncomfortably. The people around her stirred, moving out of the way, equally wary of the seething girl with the strange purple eyes.
It happened suddenly. One minute, Faye was walking intently towards Katrina, while the other girl shrank back as she came closer; the next moment Faye's fist swung out in a powerful punch that sent the brunette stumbling to the floor. A collective gasp rose from the room as everyone looked toward Faye in astonishment.
She took no notice. "You are an evil, conniving, vicious - not to mention stupid - bitch," she said to Katrina, who stared back in disbelief, stunned into submission. "Do you really think these people are so dumb as to just sit there," she demanded, "listen to your malicious rumours, and believe them? What do you take them for? Do you think we are all idiots?"
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see more than just a few uncomfortable, guilty expressions. Katrina had tried to scramble to her feet, but Faye crouched down next to her with a menacing smirk. "I'm just warning you," she said sweetly, "I'm a brown belt in karate, and I'm not afraid of using violence in the face of… uh, let's just say, stupid chicks? So don't try anything and tempt me."
Katrina's eyes opened wide, looking as though she wasn’t sure if that was a threat or a promise. With a slight quirk of the brow, Faye continued speaking, her voice low but carrying. "Tell us the truth," she said, her tone incongruously pleasant. "You're so jealous of the fact that Bella had three guys fighting over her while you had nobody, and the guy that you liked, she did not even choose in the end. Eats you up, doesn't it? Yeah, I can see how that'd suck for you."
"I… I don’t…" Katrina murmured, blinking rapidly.
"Sure you do," Faye cut in smoothly. "Come on, Katrina; your intentions are crystal clear. And now you're wondering why no one's standing up for you?"
Katrina's gaze flickered upward, dashing wildly around the room, her frantic gaze only met by apathy. She swallowed and looked down again, shrinking away from Faye.
"Don't bother," Faye's voice was syrupy in her ear. "They won’t stand up for you. You know why they still all like Bella and no one would give you a second chance? Because she's worth ten of you."
"Stop it," Katrina whispered. "Just stop it…"
"Too late, sweetie," Faye said, with a lazy smile.
Will glanced quickly towards Ryder, whose smile playing about his lips was identical to that of his sister. Their eyes were the same also, burning with feverish mischief. "Faye," Will said hesitantly, taking a few steps toward them. Bella followed him, grasping his hand.
Faye ignored them. "You think when you opened your mouth," she said, her eyes focused intently on Katrina, "and all these lies came tumbling out about some innocent girl, you'd somehow become comparatively cooler? We're all standing here, listening to you bitch on, and every one of us know that you are actually the slut who, given a chance, would probably welcome the chance of being jumped by three guys. But since you're such a worthless piece of trash, no guy would even dream of touching you with a ten-foot pole, so you have to vent your jealousy by trying to make other people's lives miserable."
"Faye," Will said again, more urgently; and as she turned she saw the clear discomfort in his eyes, mingled with just a hint of reproach. She shrugged and stood up, leaving Katrina on the ground, mutely looking at the blank faces that surrounded them.
Faye tilted her head, her gaze searching over Katrina's expression as though she wanted to memorise the details of her victory. "I pity you," she said. "I really do."
And then she strode out of the room, leaving a resounding silence behind her.
Will turned back to Katrina, who was still on the floor, trembling and blinking back tears. With a small shake of the head he glanced at Bella, who looked back with a small smile. But he didn’t smile back as his gaze travelled to the doorway, focusing on the space that Faye occupied.
On the other side of the room, Sean sat back down next to Ryder, glancing at the blond boy. "Wow," he said quietly. "That was… over the top."
Ryder lit up again with another smirk. "That's my lil' sister."
***
Scout was sitting on the porch steps, and he stood up as Faye charged out of the house. "Faye," he began, only to recoil in surprise as she promptly slapped him across the face. "What the hell is that for?" he yelled incredulously.
"Do you have any idea what you just did?" she shouted at him, grabbing him by the elbow and dragging him away from the house. The night air was laced with a stinging chill, and the freezing wind struck high colour into her cheeks.
"Got drunk, got pummelled by Will, and slapped by you?" he grumbled, feeling his cheek gingerly.
"You stood up for that girl!" she exclaimed angrily. "Do you even have any idea what she said about Bella and the three of you?"
"That she was three-timing us." he retorted loudly. "So? That’s what happened!"
"You idiot!" she stomped her foot in frustration, "Did you hear what she said before that?"
An uneasy feeling slipped over him, and it felt as though there was a leaden weight forming in his stomach. "No," he said slowly. "What did she say?"
"She accused Bella of bed-hopping," Faye said, her voice clear and deliberate as she watched disbelief settle over his expression. "That's right, she was saying Bella had slept with all three of you. That's what she meant by the three-timing business! God, you are so…" she turned away, looking furious, "…naïve sometimes!"
He looked away, swallowing with difficulty. "I didn't know," he whispered after a moment of silence. "I didn't know."
She sighed, opening her arms. "Come here."
Gratefully, he accepted the hug, burying his face in her shoulder. "I didn't mean to," he murmured, his voice shaking. "I didn't mean that at all…"
She nodded. "I know. What’s done is done, Scout; just… go home, get a good night's sleep, and we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
"But we're leaving tomorrow."
"We'll up meet early," she told him resolutely. "You need to apologise to Bella, if nothing else."
"Okay," he said, still looking dazed.
"All right," she muttered, pulling a small bottle out of her coat pocket. "Knowing you, you’d probably stay awake all night, so I'm gonna pop you a couple of my pills, okay?" Deftly working open the pill bottle, she shook a couple of small white tablets into his hand. "Go home, get changed, take them with a glass of water, and just conk out. You’ll feel better tomorrow."
"These are…" he murmured, looking up questioningly.
She nodded. "Sleeping pills. I have a feeling you'll be needing them tonight."
He blinked slowly, trying to place her in focus. She looked back at him, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Need me to walk you home?"
"Actually," he said quietly. "I better have some time alone. I'll come by and see you tomorrow morning."
"Will do," she patted him on the shoulder.
*Chris Cornell's 'Sunshower' plays*
He nodded again, not looking at her, before he walked away, running a hand over his face. She stood there for a moment, watching him disappear into the darkness. With a sigh she turned and headed back to the house.
***
Rawley Boys' Academy, common room
The room was dark, the only light coming from the flickering TV screen, which was switched to an old black and white movie. Hamilton sat on the couch, and Jake was curled up next to him, her head resting lightly on his shoulder. He half-turned and kissed her on the temple. She smiled up at him and cuddled up closer.
They sat there silently, simply being with each other, the interlacing light and shadows playing over their faces.
Dark as roses and fine as sand
Feel your healing and your sting again
Hear you laughing and my soul is saved
On forgotten graves you cry
At Joe’s house, Sean and Ryder were still seated in the couch in the corner, engrossed in conversation. A shadow fell over them and they looked up to see Faye, who flopped down next to her brother, taking a long sip from her cup with a satisfied smile.
Crawl like ivy up my spine
Through my nerves and into my eyes
Cuts like anguish or recollections
Of better days gone by
Scout walked along the street, feeling the darkness wrap around him like cold velvet. Glancing down at his open palm, he smiled forlornly at the sight of the small white pills.
But it's all right
When you're caught in pain and you feel the rain come down
It's all right
When you find your way then you see it disappear
Bella shrugged on her coat, linking hands with Will as they walked out of Joe’s house. Leslie, the friend who had shunned her earlier, appeared in the doorway and touched her timidly on the arm. Bella turned, and Leslie opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something, but Bella shook her head gently. "Don't worry about it," she whispered with a smile, squeezing Will’s fingers as they walked into the cool night air.
It's all right
Though your garden's grey
I know all your graces someday will flower, oh
In a sweet sunshower
Part Six
Rawley Boys' Academy, common room
Sunlight the colour of polished silver streamed in through the windows, falling on the two figures sprawled across the couch. Jake’s head was nestled on Hamilton’s chest, and his cheek rested lightly against her mop of dark hair. He had one arm wrapped around her waist, while the other was entwined with both of her hands. The TV was still on with the sound turned down; evidently they had forgotten to turn it off when they feel asleep somewhere through the movie marathon.
Feeling bright light fall across his eyelids, Hamilton stirred with a small groan. Opening his eyes, he glanced around, gingerly flexing his stiff neck. Looking down at Jake, who was still asleep, her chest rising and falling with even, rhythmical breaths, a small smile surfaced at the corners of his lips.
He was counting her eyelashes when she finally awoke. Glancing up at him, she shook her head, looking disoriented and sleepy. "Hey."
"We better get up," he kissed her on the forehead. "You have to catch the bus to the airport."
She groaned. "I almost forgot." Grinning, she added teasingly, "You sure there’s no chance I could stay here instead?"
He grinned. "Come on, let’s get you to your mom."
***
Faye and Leah's room
Faye was already up and dressed when a soft knock sounded. With a glance at her roommate, who was sprawled on her bed and out like a light, having only come home from the party in the wee hours of morning, she strode over and opened the door. Scout stood out in the hallway with a sheepish smile, looking weary and bruised.
"Morning," she said, grinning.
"Hi," he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"So how are you feeling?" she asked, grabbing her coat.
He shrugged. "Been better."
"Come on," she came out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. "Let's go for a walk."
It was another clear chilly day, the air coloured with the scent of fresh pine. As they walked out of the dormitory, Faye closed her eyes and breathed in, allowing herself a small smile. "Did you sleep okay?" she asked, opening her eyes again.
"Like a log. I had trouble getting up this morning."
"You needed the rest," she said matter-of-factly. Catching a furtive glance from him, she raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Um," his look in her direction was in equal parts measured and concerned. "Why do you have those pills in the first place?"
"I have trouble sleeping," she said lightly, changing the subject. "Did you see Will this morning?"
"No. His bed was slept in, though. Must've left before I woke up."
She nodded, glancing at him. "You owe Bella an apology."
"I know," he said softly. After a pause he added, the muscles in his jaw tightening, "But only for last night."
"No one is demanding that you apologise for anything else, Scout," she told him, coming to a stop on the lake’s bank. She stared out over the water. "The whole thing with the four of you is subjective. I mean, all of you have had a part in making it the mess it is now, but it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. And trying to lay the blame on anyone is just…" she shrugged, leaving the words unsaid.
He was silent as he gazed out at the lake, his eyes very blue in the clear light overhead.
"But you have to apologise for what you did last night," she continued, glancing at him. "That was way over the line. It's nothing to do with your relationships; mere courtesy demands it. You should get it out of the way before you go. Cos who knows?" she grinned. "You don't know what’ll be waiting for you when… if you come back."
After a long silence, he sighed heavily. "You're right. You always are."
"I know," she said flippantly, smiling. "Come on, let's go grab your stuff. I’ll drive you to the bus stop and we can stop by Bella’s on the way."
***
New Rawley, Main Street
The early morning sunshine cast a fine silvery glow over Sean as he walked toward the gas station, where he could see Will and Bella lounging out on the steps. His head felt strangely light, and he wasn't quite aware of his limbs, they seemed like they were moving of their own accord.
The dizziness could've come from his sleepless night, or the beers he’d drank at Joe’s party; but deep down he knew it was something else. He thought of the scene at the party, the rainy afternoon when they finally gathered enough courage to tell him about their clandestine relationship, and their lifelong friendship before any of this had happened. As he approached the gas station he saw them look up, identical expressions of doubt and worry crossing their faces; and he wasn’t sure what he felt or even that he felt anything at all.
"Hey," he said, coming to a stop in front of them.
"Hey," they echoed, standing up apprehensively. If the situation were any different he would have been moved to laugh; they were so synchronous in their movements, so wide-eyed and fearful in their expressions, that he felt something break through this internal apathy – something that felt warm and good and not altogether unwelcome.
"So," he said, looking down at his feet.
"So…" Will said, equally uncomfortably, glancing at Bella and taking her hand.
Sean caught the small movement out of the corner of his eye and looked up again, shrugging. "I dunno, man," he said quietly. "What you guys did… it hurt."
"We’re truly sorry about that, Sean," Bella said hastily. "You know that. We never meant to…"
"I didn’t…" he interrupted her, running a hand self-consciously through his hair. "I didn’t come over to lay a guilt trip on you guys. I just… just hear me out, all right? I… I’m tryin’ to deal with this; I really am. I know how these things can just happen. But… you guys hid it from me. I think that’s what hurt the most, you know?"
Will nodded, swallowing. "We just didn’t know how to tell you guys," he mumbled. "We wanted to – but it was just…"
"Complicated," Sean finished for him. "Believe me, I get that. I just wish…" he shrugged again, looking away. "I dunno. It’s gonna take me some time."
There was a moment of silence as Will and Bella looked at each other. "Does that mean," Bella asked tentatively, "that you can forgive us?"
Sean exhaled heavily, gazing back at her. "I hope so," he said simply, offering a small smile.
"This means a lot, man," Will said, a grin stealing over his face as he stepped forward, looking as though he wanted to hug the other boy. "I mean it. I…"
"You know," Sean held up a hand with another smile, taking a step back. "This is good. No need to get mushy, you know?"
Will stopped, looking simultaneously happy and sheepish. "Right."
"Cool," said Sean. After an awkward moment he shrugged again. "So, I guess I’ll see you guys later…"
He didn’t finish his sentence as Faye's car screeched to a stop next to the gas station. Scout jumped out, throwing a glance over his shoulder. She waved him on with an encouraging smile, and he turned again, chewing on his lip.
Will and Bella shared an uncomfortable glance. Sean looked from Scout to the couple, and back to Scout again, smiling awkwardly. "Hey," he said. "I'm just gonna… go now. I hope you guys work this out."
The couple managed small nods. With another self-conscious grin Sean began to walk across the street, nodding at Scout and Faye as he passed. Scout took no notice of him. Faye, on the other hand, continued to look as Sean entered the diner, a satisfied glint in her gaze.
Scout took a few steps toward Will and Bella. The couple looked back at him evenly, their expressions simultaneously speaking of distrust and remorse.
"I…" he began, taking a deep breath and dropping his gaze. "I’m sorry, Bella."
She bit her lip, again glancing quickly at Will, who remained silent.
"What I did, last night," Scout continued, his eyes still on the ground. "It was really stupid. I'm so sorry. I didn't know that Katrina had meant that…" he trailed off, colouring under their scrutiny.
Will set his jaw, looking unimpressed. Bella glanced at him again, as though she were about to say something, but she remained quiet also.
"I'm sorry," Scout whispered, finally looking up. "I was wrong to stand up for her. I didn't know the whole story and I just made an ass of myself."
Bella sighed. "You didn't know, Scout."
Scout stared at her a moment longer before he withdrew his gaze, sticking his hands into his pockets. "I’m sorry anyway," he said quietly, stepping away. "So… um, I gotta go."
"Scout," Will finally spoke up, looking half melancholy, half hopeful. "What does this mean? You… coming to talk to us? Does it mean…?"
Scout stopped, his face still turned away from them. There was a moment of silence.
"It means I’m sorry for what happened last night," he said simply. "That’s all I’m here for."
Will exhaled. "So where does that leave us?"
Another pause. "I don't know," Scout said, their eyes meeting briefly before he looked away again. "Let's just… leave it, okay? I… I've got to go."
Will and Bella nodded mutely, watching him turn and walk back to Faye's car, their gazes following his lonely form as he let himself into the car.
The ignition turned on. Faye waved as she pulled away from the curb, calling, "See you next semester!"
The couple waved back as the car sped off, Scout sitting in the passenger's seat, staring straight ahead, never once looking back.
***
A couple of blocks over, Faye pulled up at the side of the street. "The bus stop," she announced.
"Here's where I get off," Scout said, somewhat unenthusiastically. "I guess."
She nodded, watching him grab his bags and get out of the car. "Promise you'll think seriously about coming back to Rawley next semester?"
"I'll think about it," he promised her, setting his bags down and walking forward again, leaning against the driver side door. "So… you're leaving for New York right away?"
"Ryder called me on my cell when you were talking with Will and Bella," she gave a slight nod. "He wants me to hurry up. So… I guess I should go."
"Thanks, Faye," he said earnestly. "For everything."
She shrugged, looking away with a small smile before she looked back again. Catching his dispirited expression, she grinned suddenly. "Ah, what the hell," she said as she reached up and kissed him on the forehead. "God bless you."
He pulled back, smiling. "You believe in God?"
"Hell, no," she giggled. "Just always wanted to do that. Very dramatic and touching. In theory, anyway. Well," she said after a pause. "I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess it is."
"Okay, this is getting sappy," she told him, turning the ignition back on. "I’ll see you later."
He watched as she revved the engine and pulled out onto the road, her hair streaming out behind her. One wave of a leather-gloved hand, and she was gone.
He sighed to himself, softly, and sat down on the bench to wait. Waiting for the bus to come, take him to the airport, and then he could go home.
He welcomed the thought.
***
Faye slipped on a pair of sunglasses, stepping on the accelerator as she approached the town's limits. In the distance she could see her brother seated in his Corvette, looking rather impatient. She waved her acknowledgement and he started his car, pulling out from the side of the road.
The two of them sailed down the highway, a streak of red followed by a streak of black.
*Faye's voiceover begins*
'Another semester, another snapshot in time. Not knowing if I have the right to speak, seeing that I haven't been here long enough to commentate, I still do, seeking closure. I suppose it would be conceited to say that I’ve succeeded in my mission, helping them to a slightly happier world. Life is everchanging and we can't stop it from going forward. I only hope that I have assisted them, somehow, in adjusting to these changes. Even as I watch from the distance, I can see the transformations, small as they are. They’re all drawing on their hidden strengths as I speak. Open your eyes and look toward them, and maybe you'll see it too. They have already begun redeeming.'
***
*Blur's 'No Distance Left to Run' plays*
Scout leaned back on the bench, staring out into space. His bags were piled at his feet, and he looked down the street, wondering when the bus was going to come.
It's over, you don't need to tell me
I hope you're with someone who makes you feel safe in your sleep
Being tonight
I won't kill myself trying to stay in your life
I've got no distance left to run
From his seat at the Friendly's counter, Sean looked out the window and stared at Bella and Will across the street, his expression unreadable.
When you see me, please
Turn your back and walk away
I don't want to see you cos I know the dreams that you keep
That's where we meet
When you're coming down think of me
I got no distance left to run
The bus pulled up to the curb with a low rumble. Scout stood up and, just as he was about to board, saw Jake and Hamilton rush toward him, bags flying from their hands. He grinned and waved before he got on the bus, leaving the couple beside the curb to say their goodbyes.
"So," Jake looked toward her boyfriend, attempting a smile. "I'll see ya when I see ya."
"Call me," he said, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug.
"I will." Her voice came, muffled, against his shoulder. She pulled back a little and kissed him tenderly. "It's only for three weeks," she said as she took a step toward the bus, holding onto his hand.
"I know," he said, his grip firm and warm. They stood there for a moment, hands clasped together, before they finally broke away. The bus door shut between them and he waved, forcing a cheerful smile.
She walked down the length of the bus, trying to keep him within sight as it began to move. He kept waving, shrinking as the bus travelled away from him, and finally faded from view altogether.
Jake sighed and walked back, sitting down next to Scout with a small smile.
He smiled back but did not speak, turning to look out the window, watching the town of New Rawley pass before his eyes.
It's over, I knew it would end this way
I hope you're with someone who makes you feel that this life
Is a life
One that settles down, stays around, spends more time with you
I got no distance left to run
Outside the gas station, Will wrapped his arms around Bella. She sighed softly and let herself be drawn into his embrace, finding comfort there, and solace, and love.
Looking up to the pale wash of blue skies overhead, they could see the gentle winter sun shine down.
I'm coming home
So cold, home
I got no distance left to run
